Camp s01e09 Episode Script

CIT Overnight

Oh, good morning, Mr.
Bendele.
You're not leaving us yet, are you? I'm with you till to the end, Mack.
Tonight is the first night of the rest of our lives.
Because we're camping? What we are about to do is not simply camp, Kip.
It's the C.
I.
T.
Overnight.
A rite of passage.
We will write our names on the lion's head.
The what? Only those who have come before know.
I grew up in this camp and I don't even know.
All I do know is that this trip is going to be an intense night of survival and bonding, and I am getting laid.
Oh yeah? By who? I'm not concerned with the details right now.
I've been reading 'The Secret'.
You just ask the universe for what you want, and the universe shall provide.
So the political prisoners in North Korea just ask the universe to set them free? Whatever on that.
I'm an outdoorsman.
The wild is my element.
My place to shine.
And ladies loves shine things.
Hey, my dads talked to your mom and they're letting me be and honorary C.
I.
T.
- I get to come on the trip with you.
- Awesome.
Don't forget to pack bug repellent, sunscreen and toilet paper.
And my condoms.
Sure! Women are just as responsible for safe sex.
- Wanna borrow some? - You don't borrow condoms, Buzz.
Anyway, can't believe we're finally gonna get to find out what the lion is.
- I know, is huge! - See you in a few.
- What about Grace? - What? Oh, you mean for sex? No! I've known her since I was, like, three.
- We used to take baths together.
- Then you're halfway there.
That I peed in.
Oh, well, you're not three anymore.
- Oh, Chloe 10:00.
- Did she see us? I don't think so.
- We have to tell her.
- I know.
I should do it.
She's my roommate and kind of my friend.
And she might take it better coming from you.
I doubt it.
That girl has two gears.
You never now which one you're gonna get.
Usually, it's the insane one.
Hey, Chloe - Aren't you hot in that hat? - Yes.
But I'm in mourning.
Sit with me on the bus.
I need your shoulder to cry on.
And now, you're ready for your overnight! It's a 10-mile hike up to bear mountain, where you will make camp and brave the elements for your own supper.
Don't worry, guys.
I've reaped land for grub many a time.
- Piece of cake.
- You take this trip alone.
No chaperones, no counselors.
I'll not be there to look over your shoulder, because becoming a counselor is all about trust.
Me trusting you and you trusting each other.
- Yes, Deanna.
- Are there bears? No.
Well, every few years somebody does see bears.
But that is very rare.
Don't even think about bears.
Just have a great time.
And when I see you all tomorrow, you will officially be counselors.
Yeah! - Counselors who got laid.
- Buzzy, I am so proud.
Whoa, keep it on the D.
L.
, mom.
I love you, and I hope you have a great trip tonight.
Yeah, okay.
You too.
Be good.
Bye.
Mmm.
Listen, thanks for taking them up to the trail on your day off.
No problem.
I mean, I have to get into town anyway.
I got a bunch of stuff I need to pick up for school.
You're the best.
- Here! - Here.
There they go.
- Have a good day.
- Have a good time.
Bye.
Bye! Bye! I can't believe my little buzzy is gonna be a counselor.
Today they're a counselor, tomorrow they're off to college.
- Yeah.
- I can't stand it.
That's why we got another one, dear.
Mm-hmm.
Let's go scoop up Fyo and enjoy every moment he still wants to spend with us.
- Aw.
- Don't cry.
Oh.
Mm.
Oh, God, I can't wait for my nest to be empty.
Speaking of which, I think it's one of their birthdays.
- I gotta see if Dave knows.
- Okay.
- Mack? - Yeah? Um, can I get a couple of hours off? What, today? I'm super understaffed with all the C.
I.
T.
S gone.
It it's my tooth.
I've got this pain, like a jackhammer.
Probably gonna need a root canal.
Well, what can I say? If the pain is like a jackhammer Okay, thanks, Mack.
Roger! I didn't realize you were here.
Usually, I see the tracks from your atv.
No, came on foot this morning, uh, just to tell you that I've got a crew on the property line clearing some brush.
- Okay.
- Right.
So you heard about that new farm-to-table place that's opened up in Clinton corners? With the $25 omelets? Yeah, "the farm.
" God.
Why is it so expensive? I am so over being charged to feel cool.
We could go somewhere else, then.
Wait, are you asking me to dinner? No, I just was aware that it's Buzz's overnight and didn't want you to get that Postpartum thing I hear mothers are prone to.
Roger, you're asking me on a real date.
You call it a real date.
I call it psychological salve.
Either way, what do you say? Yes.
Camp 1x08- CIT Overnight Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
Aah! Hey, you can't hit me in the face! We didn't set those rules.
And it's like I have phantom limb syndrome.
I keep reaching for Kip only to realize that he's gone.
You only went out for, like, two weeks.
Which makes it worse, 'cause I never got to hate him.
Right.
Did you see grizzly man? This bear just, like, ate this guy and his girlfriend.
The camera was still on.
You could hear the sound of their screams.
You're freaking me out.
You hit me! Thought you were a feminist, babe.
- Do not call me babe.
- Babe.
You call me babe one more time, I will go game of thrones on your ass.
Theon Greyjoy.
I'm serious.
- Babe.
- Let go of me! - Are you gonna hit me again? - Yes.
Then I guess we're in a stalemate.
I guess we're gonna have to hike up the Mountain this way.
Last stop for supplies! And you might want to use the facilities, because it's nature's bathroom from here on out.
Oh, no.
Ridgefield Ryan is here.
Sarah.
Sarah Brennen? Kendra Huffington, from Cal Berkeley.
How could I forget? You beat me in the 200 fly.
Yeah, but that was a fluke.
That heat was freakin' rough.
What are you doing here? My family vacations here for a few weeks every summer.
Oh, wow.
Small world.
Or kismet.
Now we can race in the same team for the camp Olympics next week, beat Little Otter's ass.
It's so great to see you! Where have you been? Oh, uh, I quit swimming for a while.
What? Why? I had a little meltdown.
Drugs, dui.
Not very creative.
Yeah, I got kicked off the team, so I am this close to a meltdown all the time.
Anyway, you're looking awesome.
Thanks.
Hey, you want to train later? Yeah, sure.
I finish my morning shift at 11:00.
- Where do you work? - Here, at Ridgefield.
Oh.
Cool.
You girls going on your stupid sleepover? - Just ignore them.
- Who's next? I believe this nice lesbian couple was ahead of us.
Shut up, douche.
Okay, seacrest.
- Keep eyes on the door.
- What are you doing? Banana in the tailpipe.
Saw it in a movie.
Come on, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go! Gun it! We gotta go.
Ridgefield sucks! Oh, I think Roger asked me out on a real date.
You know what a real date is, right? Dinner and a movie - Cunnilingus.
- Stop.
All the flowers are gone! Oh, you can pick some more.
There's plenty of wildflowers over there.
I always thought he was an arrogant idiot, and he is, but - Mm-hmm.
He's really surprised me this summer.
Maybe he's also a good person.
What does it matter? Enjoy the date.
What was that? God! What are you doing? What have you done? Cutting down that tree.
- This is my great-grandpa Jim's Chestnut tree! Who told you to do this? Mr.
Shepard.
Roger.
Okay, who's in charge of the map and compass? That would be me.
Here is the c.
B.
Radio, so you can contact a ranger in case of an emergency.
Won't be necessary.
The universe will take care of it.
Okay! It's a steady hike up, so all you need to do is stay on the trail.
If you don't go off, you won't run into any problems.
- Roger that.
- And don't forget to leave your name on the lion's head.
Can someone please tell me what this lion's head is? Just face west tomorrow at high noon, and all will be revealed.
Yeah.
Hey.
Cole and I left you guys a case of beer at the site.
Oh, man, I love you so much right now.
- Have fun! - God help us! Lead the charge, Buzz! Let's do this! Wait up.
I'm coming with! Zoe, you're back.
How did you get here? My parents are going on a carnival cruise to try to repair their broken marriage.
I convinced them to let me come on the overnight.
Frankly, I don't think they knew what else to do with me.
I missed you.
High five, universe.
You said, "brush.
" That tree was not brush.
Sorry? - You cut down my great-grandpa Jim's tree.
I used to have tea parties under it when I was a kid.
My parents carved their initials in it on their wedding day! Yeah, yeah.
The Chestnut, Mack.
It had blight fungus.
Cole? You're not at the dentist.
- No.
- But you had a pain Like a jackhammer.
I lied.
Very lame.
Here's the thing.
Um, Roger has an opportunity coming up in Alaska, and I was exploring that opportunity.
Oh.
And how long have you two been seeing each other behind my back? - We're not seeing each other.
- We're just talking.
- Nothing happened.
- Obviously, it's complicated.
Look, I didn't want to talk to you about it until there was something real to talk about.
Well, I'll make it a little less complicated.
Don't bother coming back to Little Otter.
You can shove your farm table up your private bowling alley.
Date's off.
Oops! Excusez-moi.
I did not mean for the toast to hit you.
That's okay.
Really.
You have, uh, no bruise? No.
See, no bruise.
I mean for it to hit him My boyfriend.
Guilhem! Salut.
Ah! We We are we are looking for this waterfall.
Do you know this wat Waterfall? Oh, yeah! Yeah, it's great.
You just go straight up this road for, like, 3 Miles, and then just take that left there.
Then it gets kind of tricky, because it's not on the map, but there are these three small roads.
Just take the middle one.
It looks more like a driveway than a road.
Driveway? What what is that, driveway? I don't know, why don't I take you guys? - Yeah? - Yeah.
- Oh.
- I mean, it's my day off.
I've only got a few things to get done.
How is this happening? I broke up with Chloe to be with Marina, and now it's like, what, Chloe and Marina are together? Ask the universe to intercede.
Or you know what? You can do that yourself.
Ow! What are you doing? Making noise, to keep the bears away.
There are no bears.
Why would they call it bear Mountain if there are no bears? Wow, she even got to Greg.
Why can't Chloe just hang out with Zoe? 'Cause Zoe is with me.
She's a sure thing, dude.
I broke the code.
The more questions I ask her, the more fascinating she thinks I am.
Check it out.
SoHow did it make you feel when your mom asked you if you wanted a nose job on your 16th birthday? Interesting that you should ask, Buzz, because my reaction was multitiered.
On one hand, I desperately wanted the nose job.
On the other, I thought I had such a nice nose.
I mean, it's kind of small and perfect, don't you think? Absolutely.
And then I thought, my mother must really hate my nose or me or herself Hmm.
Which is probably the most likely explanation.
This is ridiculous.
I'm not letting Chloe ruin the little time we have together.
I'm telling her now.
No, no, no, wait, wait.
I'll do it.
I saw you talking to Kip.
Did he say anything about me? Listen, Chloe.
After Kip almost died, you know, I realized how much I cared about him, and It ended up, you know, he really cared about me too.
S-so, um We're together.
Like like dating.
I know what "together" means.
I hope you understand, because even though I know you only made friends with me because Zoe left, I, weirdly, really like you.
Chloe? Chloe! I hope she doesn't have her period, or she's dinner.
Robbie says: stay on the trail.
- We have to send in search party.
- We could call the ranger.
Okay, I'm not going in the woods.
Obviously you're not going.
What's that supposed to mean? Oh, that would be brave.
Hey, she wasn't pregnant.
And where is my car? Guys! And great, Greg, thanks for informing everyone about my pregnancy scare.
My bad.
Sorry.
Look, you and Marina go.
This is your problem.
You deal with it.
We will, Deanna.
Thank you.
I should go with you.
You're not as acquainted in the way of the woods as I am.
Uh, but we have to set up our tent.
Our tent? Oh, our tent.
Okay, our tent.
So I'll just give you the map and the compass, and I'll meet you at the campsite.
Believe me, I wish I could come.
My eyes hurt from rolling them too much, but now I have an irrational fear of bearsAnd Chloe.
Send up a smoke signal if you need us! - Where's Cole? - We don't need Cole.
But the stove is broken, and I gotta get ready for lunch.
Where did you get that plant? Put it down, step back.
That is poison Ivy.
- Oh! - Oh, crap! Sheila, you should know better! The kids said it was all right! Okay, Jay, we are in lockdown.
Get gloves, calamine, yellow soap, and order 35 pizzas.
All right, kids, put your hands up in the air, right now.
- You all right? - Yeah.
You have a girlfriend, Robbie? I did, but Quel dommage.
Tell me about the bitch who broke your heart.
It's not that great a story.
What did she do to you? UhHere.
I cannot believe you had an affair with Miguel Santos.
You're making me so envious.
I want a life.
- I think that's why I did it.
- Why? Just wanted to blow my life up.
You know, I've never even really had a boyfriend.
There's no time.
And having my mother as my trainer doesn't help.
That's got to be intense.
How many Miles do you do? 6, you? How'd your boyfriend take the whole affair? Not very well.
I mean, I handled it pretty badly, and now I'm paying for it.
I guess the good news is, the whole experience got me back on track.
Now I'm back on the swim team, and I know what I want.
How'd you swing that? I didn't smoke pot and peed in a cup all summer.
Oh.
Another 20? - 30? - Sure.
Come on, Chloe! Please, we're sorry! Look.
Do you think we should call the ranger? Her hat? Well, she could have pulled a Virginia woolf.
A room of one's own? Drowned herself? Stones in her pockets? - Chloe isn't that crazy.
- Yeah, she is.
Do you think she's dead? You'd like that, wouldn't you? Now you know how I feel.
I really liked you, Kip.
I liked you too, Chloe.
Then why? We made love.
- No, we didn't.
- But we were intimate.
I let you touch my boob! This whole summer has been like musical chairs, and now everybody has a chair except me! You didn't tell me you touched her boob.
Well, he did! And then he broke my heart.
Look, Chloe, you were my first kiss.
You were my first girlfriend.
You will always be special to me.
But I bet there is someone out there who will really get you.
- I thought you were that guy.
- Well, I'm not.
So that's it.
I'm done with the drama.
You blackmailed me, and you threatened to expose my cancer, so you don't really have a leg to stand on right now.
We gotta go.
Now, okay? We need to get back on the trail before we lose the light.
Come on.
So here we are.
What do you guys think? Oh! - Check it out.
- This is so beautiful! Amazing.
She's beautiful, no? She came out of the womb like this.
Coming? Whoo! Whoo! Robbie? Come in! The water is so nice.
Ah! Come on, Robbie! Ah! Hey, Mr.
Bendele.
Oh, I'm glad this day is almost over, because that was a tough one.
Cheers.
Game on! Let me ask you something.
You've been coming to this camp alone for as long as I can remember, and you always seem so happy.
What's the secret? Mr.
Bendele? Oh.
- He looks so peaceful.
- That's because he's dead.
I can't find Jay, Cole is cheating on me with Roger, so If you all could help me move him before somebody sees We're gonna need twine, a plastic bag, and some rocks to weigh down the body.
We'll dump him in the lake.
No one will know.
We didn't kill him, Sheila.
Why are we moving him? Because the coroner won't be here for three hours.
Why can't we just leave him here with a sheet over him? Oh, what a great idea! And I'll take a picture and put it in the brochure.
"Camp Little Otter: If you die, they'll let you sit by the lake and be eaten by Buzzards.
" Come on, grab a side.
He's heavy.
You know we're on vacation, right? One, two Three.
Whoo-ooh-ooh! Yes! Whoo! We've arrived.
Yeah! - Yeah! - Whoo! Oh, pick me, pick me! Pick me, pick me, pick me.
Try them on.
Hey, guys! Awesome! Don't worry, folks.
It's a king cobra.
Not poisonous.
- Good job.
- See? What you doing out here? Just waiting for an ambulance.
Mr.
Bendele died.
Yep.
He's dead.
Yeah.
He's been coming here every summer since I was a kid.
He always had a grubby $5 bill to put in the tip can, so the counselors could throw a party at the end of the summer.
Are you okay? You cut down my tree.
I'm sorry.
I should have discussed it with you, but it had Chestnut blight fungus and would have gotten all the other trees very sick.
- Would have been nice to say good-bye, that's all.
To the tree or Mr.
Bendele? No.
Yes.
Both.
Now summer is ending, and my marriage is over, and my son is becoming a counselor.
That's a lot of change.
Yep.
And Sarah's gone, and Cole's leaving me for you.
My dad is losing his mind, and now Mr.
Bendele's dead.
Oh, God, does this mean I have to throw out the lounge chair? Come here, come here.
It's all right.
You don't have to throw out the chair.
I promise, I won't tell anyone.
Everything is just changing so fast.
I just Wish time could stop, just for a minute, so that I could catch up.
I know.
It sucks.
And there's not a damn thing we can do about it.
Oh, my God.
I just heard about your rough summer.
That sucks.
What? Miguel Santos? You cheated on your boyfriend with him.
Yeah, I know.
Can you even get rid of venereal warts? I got venereal warts? And then he dumped you.
Why are you telling people about my affair with Miguel? You didn't say, "code of silence.
" What are we, nine? I didn't think I had to.
I didn't think it was a big deal.
I didn't get warts.
Can I get another dinner roll? The whole wheat.
What? I need my carbs.
You do work here, don't you? Mm, my love is per Have you been to the rain forest, Robbie? I've never actually been anywhere.
- Oh? No? - Nowhere? Why not? I've just been focused on my future.
I'm headed to law school in a couple of weeks and trying to read a book about it.
Mm? Is it, uh, very good? Haven't actually read past page one.
I mean, I'll travel.
There's time, right? Until there's not.
Wh It looks dull.
- Is Guilhem's head expanding? - Uh That is the tea.
Champignon psychedelique.
Mushrooms.
Then my mom literally slapped this woman.
I mean, she didn't really literally slap her, but she really literally almost did.
And then she started screaming, "my daughter won this pageant fair and square!" It was so totally humiliating.
- I'll be right back.
- What? Oh.
Oh, okay.
Hey! What are you looking at? Just trying to find the lion's head.
Make sure it's real.
Are you having fun on this trip? Yes! Totally.
Are you? Zoe seems really into you.
Don't know how much more I can listen to her.
Well, you can't stop now.
You have, like, ten hours' sweat equity in, so Yeah.
Go.
Where was I? You were talking about your mother.
Oh, yeah.
I see them! They're over here! There you are! I was looking for you.
That was real cute.
You cracked my exhaust line.
- Aah! - Hey! Hey! Why don't you just leave us alone? Why don't you go back to China? She's not from China, racist idiot! Go back to Ridgefield! Nobody wants you here! Really? You cost me 100 bucks in damage.
Get him up.
Get him up.
We should make a pact to meet here every summer, like, even once we're married and parents.
I call godmother.
Oh, hey.
Hey! - What are they - Come on.
What happened? The Ridgefield guys.
Buzz.
Buzz! Buzz, wait! Hey! Buzz! Hey, wait up.
Hey, hold up, hold up.
Hey.
Don't let them ruin this.
It's already ruined! - What? - It all sucks! This whole summer is a bust! Look, let's Let's get the c.
B.
Radio from Marina, okay? The ranger can take us back to Little Otter, yeah? Okay, come on.
- Excuse me, Sarah? - Yeah.
Bus this for me.
I'm sorry, I'd appreciate it if you put away the attitude.
Kendra, honey, it's not worth it.
And my mom is still waiting for her white wine spritzer.
You're worried because I'm back on the swim team and I'm gonna kick your ass at conference this year.
Why don't you do your job and get my mom's drink? Good news.
I have your mom's drink.
Get off my daughter! You get off her! Help! Somebody help, please! Get off her now! Get off! Get off my daughter! Hey.
Can hear the music and feel the rhythm.
I thought you were somebody else.
Aren't you going to come, Robbie? What do you want? I heard about Mr.
Bendele.
Well, it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been cheating on me with Roger.
Yeah, well, I shouldn't have lied to you, Mack.
You said a really hard truth to me, and I listened.
I'm trying to grow up.
Oh.
Because lying about a root canal is so mature.
Yeah, well, I didn't say I was doing a good job at it.
So you gonna take it? What happened? Buzz got hurt.
Oh, God.
Buzz! Buzz.
Oh, my God.
Buzz, who did this? Stop, mom! Buzz, you have to tell me! You can't let whoever did this get away with it.
I don't want to talk about it! I'm calling your dad.
- No! Don't.
- Why? I don't want him to know about it, okay? Okay, but you have to tell me who No one did it! - You guys okay? - No, look at him.
He's all beat up, and he won't tell me who did it.
- Can she just go? - Why don't you just step outside for a sec, Mack, and calm down, okay? No, I do not need to calm down! - You need to calm down.
- I'm his mom.
- I know you're his mom.
- Cole! Cole! I understand why you're so upset, but you need to take a beat, 'cause maybe he needs to get the word "balls" off his forehead before he's ready to face you.
Okay? Magic combination for removing sharpie from skin.
Do you know how I know? Happened to me.
Many times.
There you go.
Want to tell me what happened? Can we talk about it tomorrow? Of course.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
He just needs some rest.
Yeah.
- I'm taking the job, Mack.
- Hmm? Roger wants me to start right away.
You know, I listened to what you said.
I need to start thinking about my future.
Roger's starting from scratch in Alaska, and he needs a guy to put a construction crew together, set up the whole site.
It's a big opportunity for a guy with eight years of part-time work on his resume.
I get it.
Can I get it and hate it at the same time? Yes.
- Hi.
- Oh! Hey, you.
How's it going over there? Mm, I quit.
Can I have my job back? Yes.
Just so you know, I thought you were exceptionally brave.
Three against one is not a fair fight.
Sorry I blew you off to hang out with Zoe.
Hey, what are brothers and sisters for? Come on.
We gotta hurry.
Hey, come on.
Wait up.
Mr.
Bendele came here for 32 years, so it is both happy and sad that he died here.
Happy, because this is the place he loved, and sad, because he died alone.
It's a solo journey, life.
That's why I had so many kids.
It's Danny Boy.
I know it's Danny Boy.
Song slays me every time.
And death is sad.
Except that Mr.
Bendele was 87 years old, Mack.
And he died in his favorite place on earth, looking out over the lake.
That's true.
He died here, in this great place, where people come and go, where C.
I.
T.
S become counselors, where we get to face our fears together, and if we're lucky, we get a whole new set to deal with next summer.
- The lion.
- It's real.
It's so cool.
- What do we do now? - Write our names on it.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Where people fall in love and out of love.
Where life ends - Hey, what's going on? - And new life begins.
Mack's philosophical.
Mr.
Bendele died.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Hey, what's up? What happened to you? Life.
Look.
Where life ends and new life begins.
I bet when Mr.
Bendele died, a hundred babies were born - That's probably enough, Mack.
- Okay.
To Mr.
Bendele.
All: To Mr.
Bendele.

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