Club De Cuervos (2015) s01e13 Episode Script

Iglesias vs. Iglesias

1 "We didn't underestimate them.
" "They were a lot better than we thought.
" "Bobby Robson" - Well, here we are.
- In 1985? [laughs.]
Mr.
Chen knows that the locker room needs some renovations.
Well, the whole building needs renovations, right? - Yes.
- From head to toe.
Yes, Mr.
Chen knows.
And does the fact that Mr.
Chen knows mean he's going to do something about it? Why do you think we called you if not to do something about it? The sauna? We have a 24-hour gym on the corner.
[laughs.]
No, really, we use it.
They give us a discount.
Ah.
I know this place isn't up to your usual standards, but the team I can assure you they are.
Don't oversell it, I know they're still in the Liga de Ascenso.
That's temporary.
Mr.
Chen likes to buy low and sell high.
That's why he bought this Liga de Ascenso team.
He wants to know what you need to turn it into a 1st Division team.
[sighs.]
A percentage.
[whispering.]
A percentage - [whistle blowing.]
- [theme music playing.]
A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES [whistle blowing.]
[crowd cheering.]
[crowd cheering.]
[stadium horn blowing.]
[Cuau.]
Rio, how was the party last night? [speaking Portuguese.]
It's on now, okay? We have to cut the bullshit.
We have to win this game, dude.
It's a crucial game.
I need your help.
We're going down to the Liga de Ascenso, dude! You know what that means? My market value will go to shit! We can't help you.
We need to look after ourselves.
Look after what? What the fuck, dude! I'm asking you as a personal favor.
Look, Potro, you have to understand! It's nothing personal.
Don't take it the wrong way.
We can't! We can't! Moises, listen to me.
You think they'll respect you as captain after this? You really think so? Isn't the Greece move settled, dude? Come on, asshole, answer me! I can't.
I don't even need to ask this Brazilian piece of shit, do I? No.
No.
Fuck all of you! I'll win this game on my own, idiots.
More effort, come on! [organ playing.]
Could the mother and the godparents approach, please? [inaudible.]
Sorry for telling you at the last moment, but we were thinking that my dad would have been very pleased if you were the godfather.
- Me? - Yes.
Of course, I'd love to, but the godmother? - I could be.
- No, that'd look weird, Mom.
- [whispering.]
We thought that - What? [whispering.]
Abraham's the godfather? [Abraham.]
Of course, I'd love to.
Thank you.
What new mom doesn't have family come to support her at the christening? Of course, with pleasure.
- Father - Ready! Look at Chava.
I mean, look at him, the proud father.
Shh! [priest.]
The prayer the Lord taught us.
All rise.
[all.]
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in heaven.
- [camera clicks.]
- There it is.
Another! [Chava.]
Big smiles! - Always comes out looking at the horizon! - [baby cries.]
Okay, just us three now.
A lot of people here.
- Just us three, Mom.
Thanks.
- [Mary Luz laughs.]
Hey.
- That's it.
One of just the two of them.
- With the godfather holding him.
Take him, take your godson.
- Take him.
- That's it.
- That's it.
- [Abraham.]
Shh.
Great, dude.
Fucking awesome.
You're not going to pose for a photo of the happy family? I'm not sure who that family is.
What a coincidence, me neither.
What a pig.
He grabbed your ass, right? Oh, stop! He thinks of me as his daughter.
A dad doesn't jerk off thinking of his daughter.
Concentrate on getting votes at the family meeting, because if not, - you won't be able to dissolve the board.
- Yes.
Isabel.
- Yes? - Did I hear right? You're going to take the presidency? Uh, if all goes according to plan, yes.
I'll pray for it.
Surely God is punishing us, sending us down to the Liga de Ascenso for having a degenerate in the team.
Yes.
That depends if God is Eliseo Canales and the degenerate is Chava.
Excuse me.
Tio, why is Father Zeferino asking me about the presidency? I don't know.
The only one I told was Chava.
Which I don't understand.
You just gave him time to put together a strategy, Tio.
He's your brother, he's my nephew.
No, I don't like this at all.
- [cell phone rings.]
- I'll be back.
- I'll be right back.
- Promise me, be calm.
[Isabel.]
Yes, I'm coming.
Hello? Argentina is boring, eh? I'm glad you're using your detective skills.
That Mary Luz turned out to have a criminal record.
I'm sorry.
Constanza.
Oh, yeah? What did you find out? Her boyfriend is in prison for murder.
Who did he kill? Look who we have here, Dieguito Perez.
- Hey, lovely party, isn't it? - Ah, yes.
I'm glad you're having a good time, dude.
- Yes.
- I found out that they want to take the presidency from me.
[clears throat.]
Yes, Luis mentioned something earlier.
Yes, but don't worry.
It's not a problem.
I won't lie.
It hurt a little, you know? But I understand that I had my chance and now it's Isabel's turn, right? - Well, it's a big world.
- Yes.
I'll remember your words for a long time, Dieguito.
- Have a good time.
- Thanks.
What did he say? - Did he try to persuade you? - Actually, no.
But I think he's relieved.
- There's nothing to do now.
- No.
Stupid Diego Perez, strutting around like he's Carlos Slim, dude.
Are you sure about what you're doing? You'll have the owner of the state's most important media as your enemy.
- And the governor.
- What can I do? They want to fire Aitor.
They want to take the presidency from me and destroy everything I've done.
What can I do? Goddamn snakes, dude.
Well, we could work together.
With who? With Isabel? Oh, sweetie, look.
Cheers! To your innocence.
Gentlemen, finish getting changed and I'll see you on the field for training.
Come on.
Now the Trunk's going to be coach, dude? There's no one else.
It's our last game, dude.
It decides if we go down or not! We're being led by an assistant who knows nothing about soccer! How did it come to this? I can't fucking believe it! Well, score some goals, champ! You think I don't want to score, dude? - Of course you do.
- I'm doing it on purpose? [whistling jovially.]
SHIRT-LIFTER PILLOW BITTER [laughing.]
[wolf whistling.]
"Pillow bitter.
" I don't know if you knew that "biter" is spelled with one "T".
But that's to be expected.
One of you is so slow you didn't even finish elementary school.
What? So it was you, right? What did you say, you fucking pansy? Well, at least you spelled shirt-lifter right.
[Laughs.]
- What's up? - Fucking Spanish asshole [all clamoring.]
[Potro.]
Hey, Come on, dude! Leave it, dude! I've fucked guys more manly than all of you put together.
On and off the field.
Understand? I wouldn't touch any of you with a ten-foot pole.
Although I'd sleep with the Argentine.
But the rest of you can sleep easier than my mother.
And you I'm starting to like you now.
[grunts.]
You know what? I don't like beans.
[all groaning.]
I'll have the nougat ice cream and a Frappuccino, please.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
Well, um Bring me a coffee, please.
Of course, sir.
Excuse me.
- [chuckles.]
Thanks, boss.
- What for? - Why did you want to see me? - Relax.
I wanted your opinion on something.
You wanted my opinion? Yeah, don't wet yourself, dude.
I just want to buy a gift for Mary Luz.
I want to know if you have an idea.
Um, well, maybe it could be a push present.
- From - A what? A push present.
It's It's something the dad gives to the mom right after she's given birth.
It's to thank her for the birth, the baby and everything.
A push present.
- Mmm-hmm.
- Mmm.
Listen, boss, are you sure about the chemistry here? Actually I'm not very sure about Mary Luz's feelings, boss.
Toward me? No, toward a lot of things.
- In general.
- Mmm.
But it's none of my business, right? [laughs.]
Exactly.
It's none of your business.
- Let's change the subject.
- Yes, boss, sorry.
What's up with Cesar Costa? Sir Moises "El Hierro" is here to see you.
Great.
Tell him to grab an umbrella, shove it up his ass and then open it.
[Hugo Sanchez.]
Grab an umbrella [Moises.]
Yes, thanks.
What a poet! Okay, sir.
You know I'm just out here for anything Thank you, Hugo Sanchez, you can go.
You're very protected now, aren't you? You don't answer my calls, Chava.
Unless you're here to say you have herpes and your balls are bleeding, I don't give a shit.
[laughs.]
I came to say my doctor said I can play again, so I'm here if you need me.
And here comes the bullshit.
- What bullshit? - You betrayed us! I was just looking after my interests.
No, you fucked us.
Like you when you brought that Spanish diva, dude.
Oh, sorry, dude.
Sorry, I thought I was working with professionals, not gossiping high school girls.
"Oh, they've taken my star.
Oh, I'm not captain anymore.
I'm not the star of the team.
I'm so offended.
" Aitor played for Spain and was a champion with Barca.
If you weren't so small-minded, you would've tried to learn something instead of fighting and trying to bring the team down.
So, when it's your team, we're professionals, and when it's me, everything's personal.
No, it's called loyalty.
We were friends.
Ha! Chava, we weren't friends, dude.
You showed off with me to get girls.
Then Aitor came, and you showed off with him.
- That's all.
- [laughs.]
Bullshit.
What? Chava, since you started to work with your dad, that's the only thing you wanted.
To get girls with the players.
Period.
I was never short on girls, dude.
And just so you understand, the girls were with you because of the money I paid you.
[laughs.]
Okay.
Look, I told you, dude.
I'm ready, I can play.
I don't want this team dropping to the Liga de Ascenso.
So here I am.
Thanks a lot for the information.
We're not interested.
Enjoy Greece.
And when Eliseo is fucking you make sure he wears a condom.
[chuckles.]
Perfect.
- Listen.
- What? You're dressed like a dick.
Thanks, Chava.
In the Liga de Ascenso? You've got to be kidding me.
No, I'm not kidding.
- And Gina doesn't have a problem? - It's a percentage of the company.
Mmm, and a crappy salary.
The Cuervos still owe you three years' salary, right? So with that you can manage, man.
No, that's got nothing to do with it.
How will it look if I go to work for a worthless Liga de Ascenso team? You'd finally own something, man.
Felix I'm in no hurry to go back to work, man.
- I'm gardening, traveling - [laughs.]
Going to the racetrack isn't traveling.
- I went to the Caribbean.
- Hmm.
Next week I'm going to Greece.
Oh, to Greece! You're going to Greece? I'm broadening my horizons.
What are you going to do when you get back? No fucking idea.
You're coming to work with me.
And together, you and I are going to take the Carneros from the Liga de Ascenso to the 1st Division in one season.
In one season? Man, with what you and I know about soccer and Chen's checkbook, it's not so hard.
Odisea, Burbujas What a pretty baby Odisea, Burbujas Valentin Aitor [humming Burbujas theme song.]
You're so good with him.
[whispering.]
He's my little brother.
[Valentin murmurs.]
[exhales.]
- [typing.]
- "Dear Luis, Isabel and Abraham In light of recent events - I need to call - [Mary Luz sighs.]
an emergency family meeting tomorrow at the team's offices.
" - Chava.
- Mmm? I know dissolving the board could be good for us, but do you think it's good for the team? Anything is better than Isabel in charge.
She's unstable, she's neurotic.
People don't like her.
She dresses like a teacher.
She talks like a congresswoman.
She has no social skills, it won't work.
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.
- Okay? - Yes, but now you don't have Goyo, you've lost Isabel, Felix, and now Moises.
- Don't you want anyone on your side? - I've got you, haven't I? That's what I'm doing.
I'm making a team with my people, not with my dad's golf buddies.
[Mary Luz.]
Okay.
Okay.
[plane taking off.]
[man speaking indistinctly on PA.]
Hi, Hierro.
Hey, I'm your biggest fan.
Can I take a picture with you? - Yes, sure.
- Thanks.
- Good luck.
- Yeah.
Yes, of course.
[Isabel.]
Look, I know you're saying the votes are assured, Tio.
But then why is he calling a family meeting? No, what agreement? He made his position on Aitor very clear in front of the press.
Tio? I have to go.
I don't think I've ever been to your house.
I had every intention of inviting you.
[laughs.]
We have to talk.
Yes, indeed we do.
It's about your brother.
Valentin? No, your other brother.
He sent you.
He doesn't even know I'm here.
[dramatic music playing.]
We're all here now, Chava.
You wanted to discuss something? No, I don't want to discuss anything.
I want to dissolve the team board.
You want to dissolve Sorry, what? I want to dissolve the team board.
It's irrelevant, it's antiquated, I don't see any point.
My dad created it last century when there were pagers.
There are no pagers now.
There shouldn't be a board.
Hold on, we can't dissolve it like that and [Chava.]
No.
Yes, we can, Tio.
Yes, we can.
Article seven, paragraph two, section D.
All we need is for the majority of the family board to be in agreement and we can dissolve the board and replace its members.
I checked.
Chava, you have to research [Chava.]
No, Tio.
Sorry.
Look, I have the floor! And I want to make a motion to vote to dissolve the board.
And I second it.
- Abraham seriously? - [Chava.]
Yes, seriously.
All those in favor of dissolving the board Mary Luz, now.
- [whispers.]
Mary Luz.
- [Isabel.]
Those against - Mary Luz, now, dude.
- Raise your hand.
The no's have it.
What are you doing? - What are you doing? - [Isabel.]
Following her conscience.
Mary Luz.
No, hey, I'm not talking to you.
Don't you realize what she's doing, Mary Luz? She's manipulating you.
Hey! Mary Luz! - I'm talking to you, Mary Luz! - She wants to save the team, Chava.
No! She wants your inheritance! - I can't believe - Enough.
The only thing that matters to me is Valentin, and it's best for him if I vote "no.
" No.
Mary Luz, I've been with you from the start.
I'm the only one in the family who supported you.
When did you decide to go to my sister, who's made your life impossible since you came to Nuevo Toledo? Look, please.
Let's try it again.
Okay? All those who oppose the dissolution of the team board, raise your hand.
Very well.
Motion denied.
The Iglesias family board will not dissolve the team board.
Meeting adjourned.
Given my brother's recent actions, I suggest an emergency meeting with the team board.
[Mary Luz sighs.]
Gentlemen, please come in.
[governor.]
Ladies, gentlemen, good afternoon.
Abraham? Yes? The meeting is over.
This is the team meeting.
Yes, of course.
[Mary Luz clears throat.]
Well, then.
Okay, given that our results are in decline money has been squandered and our relationship with our most important sponsors has deteriorated I want to ask for an emergency vote to remove Chava from the presidency of the Cuervos.
[governor.]
I second Isabel's motion.
All those in favor of removing Chava, raise your hand.
[governor.]
All those against.
Okay.
In light of recent events, I propose the nomination of Isabel Iglesias-Reina as president of Cuervos FC.
[Tio Luis.]
Do we really need to vote? [governor.]
Yes.
This is for you.
Congratulations on the birth or whatever.
[slams door.]
[governor.]
All those in favor.
[Tio Luis.]
Isabel you're president now.
[gavel banging.]
Darling you have the floor.
Thank you, Tio.
Well, mmm Gentlemen, Mary Luz, uh Give me a moment, please.
Chava! Chava! Chava! Chava! Chava! [engine starts.]
Chava! [panting.]
[sniffling.]
We could have shared the presidency.
We couldn't even agree on the wood for the coffin, dude.
[sighs.]
Chivo? - [propellers whirring.]
- Hey! [Whistles.]
Aitor! What's up, dude? Are you leaving? Yeah, your sister informed me my presence was no longer required.
Apparently I'm a distraction and the mothers think I'm going to fuck their sons or something.
[laughs.]
They should have worried about their husbands, really.
[laughing.]
Oh, man.
Fuck it, man.
Whatever will be will be, Chava.
But don't cry for me, really.
I've got a team after me in the US.
No problem.
I'm sorry things didn't turn out better.
I'm really sorry I couldn't make things turn out better.
Chava, you're too big for this town.
Mr.
Diaz? No, don't go.
Your investigation ends today.
Thanks for everything.
Hey.
I'm going now.
Good luck, Coach.
Thanks.
You, too.
I don't know what I'm going to do if we lose.
[laughs.]
Me neither.
Believe me I don't want to go back on TV.
Chivo? What is it? [inhales deeply.]
I just hope this triumph hasn't taught you that this is the person you have to be to get what you want.
Don't worry.
I don't want anything else.
For now.
[bad analyst.]
Well, as you already said, Isabel Iglesias-Reina is the new president of the Nuevo Toledo Cuervos.
Without a doubt, this is a historic moment.
My respects.
[bad analyst.]
But the question is, will it be enough? [good analyst.]
I have no idea, but we all know what will happen if they lose this game.
Hi, how are you? Good evening.
[man 1.]
Congratulations, Isabel.
Thank you very much.
- [man 2.]
A pleasure.
- [laughs.]
Thanks.
Good evening.
Hi.
Thanks.
Good evening.
- Well done, Isabel.
- Thank you very much.
Uh Um okay.
You know how things are.
Defenders defend.
Midfielders in the middle.
Forwards, well [doors open.]
Okay, you little bastards.
Stop crying.
Come here, let's talk.
[Potro.]
What are you doing here? Well, to answer Potro's question, uh the directors have asked me to lead this game and I accepted.
Let's not go down, okay? Okay, most of you know me, I'm not a great speaker, I don't have the perfect words to inspire you.
Um I don't have a metaphor that'll make us play like Barcelona or a childhood anecdote that will make you play brilliantly.
There's just one thing I know perfectly, and believe me, because I know what I'm talking about.
Playing in the Liga de Ascenso sucks.
It sucks big time, gentlemen! It sucks ass! Hot girls in the stadium? None! Forget it! Awesome stadiums? They're all fucking cattle fields! No one goes to the games, injuries are the order of the day.
Fame? Fortune? Magazines? They won't say hello to you in your own fucking homes, gentlemen! No one! You're going to be lonely like dogs! So if you want to get laid again in your lives, you'd better win this fucking game! - Come on, gentlemen! - [all cheering.]
Look, I'm getting a semi! [laughing.]
I can't believe it, the curse is gone.
I'm getting hard again! Come on! That's what I want to see! [clapping stops.]
Chava.
Do you want to talk to the boys? Do you mind holding the baby? Your stepmother's coming.
She won't be long.
[scoffs.]
She's not my stepmother.
Well, okay.
Give it here.
No, the baby.
Let's see Ay, ay, ay.
Oh, he's moving.
There he is.
[laughs.]
Ay.
[laughs.]
- [stadium horn blowing.]
- [crowd cheering.]
[Mary Luz.]
Oh, my God.
I'm late, sorry.
- What happened? Has it started? - Yes, it's started.
Give him to me.
I'll hold him.
No, don't worry.
Here, I've got him.
I'll look after him.
Take a seat.
[sighs.]
[crowd cheering.]
Let's go, Manny.
Where to, boss? [sighs.]
Far away from here.

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