Cold Feet (1997) s04e07 Episode Script
Series 4, Episode 7
(Groans) Oh, hello, there.
- Hello.
- How was your flight? - lt was tiring.
- Mm.
- Jenny says hello.
- Mm-hm.
- Holy shite! What is that? - What? You're enormous.
- l'm having a baby.
- What? Right now? Nice to see you, too, Adam.
OhRach.
Rachel! Good to see you.
Tell me about New York.
lt was fine.
- Do you want tea? - Ooh, l'd love one.
Bloody hell! l know.
Since l've been away, it's just kind of (Makes ripping sound) Anyway, what have l missed? Oh, erm Nothing, really.
Oh, Suggs and l broke up.
Oh, no.
Why? Do you want to see a movie tonight? What are we doing, practising for my next date? Actually, l thought this could be your next date.
No real reason.
Just kind of fizzled out.
Jo said David had bought you a racehorse.
We went to watch it run at Chester.
Oh, l bet that was brilliant.
Well, it was certainly a day l won't forget in a hurry.
So come on.
You've told me about everyone else.
What about you? Erwhat do you mean? What did you get up to while l was away? Erm lt wasn't you who came back to my flat the other night? No.
Took me to bed and couldn't deliver the goods? No.
Fine.
l got picked up by this gorgeous woman who tried to seduce me, but l couldn't be unfaithful to you.
Yeah, right.
TAPE: lt'sjust as well, really, cos (Batteries go flat) (Knock on door) - Come in.
- David, not interrupting, am l? - l'm looking for some batteries.
- Never mind that.
l've got a job for you.
l am your loyal lieutenant.
Sorry, (American accent) loo-tenant.
Whatever.
You're a pretty good judge of character.
The new chairman - what do you make of him? Sir Donald? Well, he's an amiable old cove.
Very clubbable.
Not one to rock the boat.
He wants us to cut the wage bill by 20%.
God.
Mm.
He's given me the job of recommending where the axe should fall.
l don't envy you that one.
Neither do l, which is why l am giving the job to you.
To me? - lt's called delegation, David.
- lt's called passing the buck, Natalie.
Helen, tell Charles l want to see him.
You are not passing the buck to him? No, no.
l'm just delegating.
Helen, cancel that.
Look, David, this has got to come from the top.
And after me, that's you.
Besides, you're perfect.
You know the staff.
- You get along with them.
- Not when news of this leaks out.
Which is why we need complete confidentiality.
lf you're going to send me memos, write them yourself.
Karen.
Hey, Mark.
Come on, then.
Where do l sit? l beg your pardon? My desk.
l take it l'll have a desk.
l thought you turned the job down.
- Well, l reconsidered.
- Oh.
- lf the offer's still open.
(Phone rings) Well, ermyou understand we we have been interviewing.
lNTERCOM: Mark, your wife on line one.
Eryes, Jill.
Tell her l'll call her back.
Right.
So, where were we? Oh, yes your desk.
(Revving engines and rock music) Whoo-ha! Suck on my exhaust, loser.
Hey, you only came fifth.
Yeah, which is one ahead of you.
TANNO Y: Starters to the grid.
Race Four.
Ah! Enjoy the view from behind.
''lntroduce bracket A into runner B.
'' Right.
- What's that? - Oh, ermit's a cot.
lt's meant to be, but er we might have to make do with a sheep pen.
A cot? Yeah, yeah.
Look, l thought you'd be longer in the bath.
You know, l erml wanted it to be a surprise.
Well, it is it is.
Ermwhen did you get that? Yesterday.
Don't worry.
l did the research.
Smooth-action drop side.
Enough bells and whistles to keep them amused, but not to keep them awake.
Adam, we've still got a way to go.
lt might take me that long to put it together.
l mean, have you seen these instructions? They're translated from Swedish.
l've been introducing the pieces.
l don't know if l'm ready to get into cots yet.
Yeah, but l am.
Rach, the last few days - l'm so excited about the baby.
And look at the state of you.
You look fit to drop.
l just wish you wouldn't do it now.
Given that it is a pain in the hole, and all l've managed to do is get these bits out of the box Sorry, Adam.
l'm sure l've still got jet lag.
Why don't you ring up Pete and go to the pub tonight? What a wife.
(Chuckles) (Mobile phone rings) Hello? Nag's Head or Crossed Keys? - You what? - Where you're taking me for a pint, big lad.
- No, l can't.
l'm busy.
- Doing what? - Ermseeing my mum.
- Hey, you want a drink? Was that Jo? No.
Coke.
TANNO Y: All go-karts - You're at the Kartin.
Yeah, all right, l am.
Yeah.
- With your mother? - Yeah.
Well, it's over-60s night.
Race A Granny.
Anyway, got to go.
l'll call you tomorrow.
Bye.
Wh? Right, you bollocks.
Here, Rachel.
(Mobile phone rings) - Just the one, thanks.
Hello? - Hi, it's Adam.
ls Pete there? - Yeah, hang on, he's right here.
- Hello? - Ah-ha! Didn't think l knew Jo's number, eh? No.
No, no.
Well, Rachel did.
So, Jo is there.
l bet your mother isn't.
- She's probably at Mass.
- Adam! Put my name down.
l'll be there in 20.
No, no, no, no.
Adam, no, no.
Wait.
You can't come.
Look, l don't want you to come.
lf you see what l mean.
Bye.
- l was watching that.
- TV can't replace the art of conversation.
lt can when it's Bad Girls and you're the one talking.
- l think Jo and Pete are on a date.
- Oh, my God! Leave out nothing.
lt's an absolute minefield.
Anyone l recommend for redundancy is bound to hold it against me.
lf they're out of a job, there's not much they can do about it.
Yeah, l suppose l should be thankful for small mercies.
So, how was your first day? Good.
Very good, thanks.
l think l'm going to enjoy being back at work.
You don't mind, do you? What? The fact that you're at work or the fact that you enjoy it? (Laughs) Darling, l think it's great.
You were never really very happy being one of those ladies who lunch.
David, l was never that.
Oh, you've been seen in Wilmslow once or twice.
Look, so long as you're happy, darling, you know? - Yeah.
- l think that's great for us all.
lt does mean l'm going to be a bit more tired.
Oh.
- Would a massage help? - No, thanks, darling.
l'd rather just go to sleep.
Night.
Good night.
You know how they say pregnant women have cravings? Yeah, what's yours? Peanut butter on celery? Avocados? Coal? You.
- Sorry? - l want sex, Adam.
(Whimpers) (Cries) Eh? l think it must be my hormones.
Well, l mean, wha-wha-what about your jet lag? Second wind.
Look, but Rachel.
We haven't talked since you got home, not properly.
Come on.
Get them off.
l've thought of some names for the baby! Adam, l've told you.
l don't want to talk about that now.
Ah, but you know, l mean Now it's starting to ermtake shape, l want to put a name to it.
Come on.
Go on, then.
Erright.
Now if it's a boy, what about Ryan or Roy? - Right.
Giggs or Keane.
- Difficult choice, l admit.
Does it have to be a Manchester United player? Yes.
Maybe not current.
Bobby.
l prefer Robbie.
That would make him Robbie Williams.
No, Robbie Bradley.
(Both moan) (Laughs) Jo? - Yes? - Wait.
l don't think we should rush into anything.
No? No.
Oh.
OK.
l might just go and see if there's erm if there's any footie on.
Oh, bugger! (Bird calls) (Sighs) My game always goes to pot when l'm notyou know.
Again? l thought you were.
No, not since Karen started her new job.
She's been a bit too tired.
lt's ironic, considering a week ago l was the only one of us having sex and now l'm the only one not.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, shite! We're not having sex, either.
So, in fact Pete's the only one of us having sex.
Oh, bollocks.
l'm just crap at golf, that's all.
- Are you sure he's having sex? - l think he's having too much.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
Well, it's just Jo (lmitates Jo) Jo has a fairly healthy appetite, judging by the stories she's told Rachel.
What stories? l don't know.
Rachel wouldn't tell me.
You can imagine.
Come on.
Look at her track record.
Her boss, Suggs, you.
All in the past three months.
Pretty good effort.
Look at your track record before Rachel.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, that was different.
- Oh, why? Because you're a man, a stud? Well So you're telling me you think that Jo's a slapper? - Well, that's not a very nice word.
- Oh, which would you prefer? Slut, slag, slattern? lt's funny how they all begin with S.
Except trollop, of course.
Pete, come on.
l'm pulling your leg! You have to admit, though, she does put it about a bit.
Listen, here.
lf l hear you talk about Jo like that one more time, l will rip your throat out.
Right? He's a bit touchy, isn't he? Thank you.
Mark, you don't think your secretary suspects anything, do you? Jill? Why on earth should she? Well, you don't take your other editors out for lunch.
They don't have a book coming out in a week.
Written by your wife.
Yes.
So, how's the erlaunch party coming, then? Really well, good.
Geraldine's looking forward to it.
So's David.
Right.
You know, we don't really need to beat ourselves up about this.
We haven'tactually done anything yet.
We kissed.
Yes, and it was very nice, wasn't it? So Why don't you have lunch with me on Friday at the Buccina? What? The hotel? This will just be a little cold.
Oh, God.
You all right? Yeah.
l'm fine.
Oh, God.
Look.
Strong image.
- lt all looks good.
- That's good.
l'll take some measurements.
Oh.
Ermcan you tell its sex? - Adam.
- What? - We said we didn't want to know.
- l know, but l do now.
Can you? - l don't.
- Rachel, this late in the day, look - Yeah, but something could still go wrong.
- Don't be saying that, he might hear you.
lt is a he, isn't it? A boy? Adam, we agreed we didn't want to know.
Well, it's a good size.
For a boy or a girl? - Adam! - What? (Sighs) (Knock on door) Come in.
David, could l have a word? Of course, Charles, of course.
My door is always open.
Yes.
l should finish the report you want by this afternoon.
There's no hurry, Charles.
Was that it? Yes.
Did you know we've recently moved house? No No, somewhere nice? Yes, very.
Well, it's bigger.
The mortgage is something of a burden.
But, well, we had to with a fourth child on the way.
Of course, they're not cheap themselves.
Well, you know.
You've got three, haven't you? Yes.
David, please don't sack me.
Francesca's not working.
We really need my salary.
- l'll do anything - What makes you think that l'm cutting staff? - Sir Donald's barber heard him on his phone.
- His barber? Goes out with Trudy from the mail room.
Oh, marvellous.
So everyone knows, do they? You must have noticed the atmosphere.
Yes.
Yes, of course.
Listen, Charles.
Look, it really isn't my decision.
l've simply been asked to make some recommendations, look at one or two options.
So the fact that my name appears on this list doesn't necessarily mean anything? Where did you get this? From your wastepaper basket after you'd gone home last night.
- Karen? - What are you doing here? l'm bidding a final farewell to fashion.
- l am buying maternity clothes.
- Come for coffee.
- You're hurting me.
- Sorry.
Rach, when we bumped into each other, l was meant to be meeting Mark.
At the Buccina? Why didn't you say? The food's excellent.
- Didn't want to go.
- Why not? No part of me wanted to go.
Sorry, l don't follow.
He hadn't booked us a table, he'd booked us a room.
(Knock on door) - No! - Sorry, l didn't realise it was you.
- Are you sensitive to light? Yes, and staring.
So, what progress have you made? To be honest, l haven't yet identified any jobs that might be cut.
David, l am getting pressure from Sir Donald on this.
lf you won't find some sacrificial lambs, well l will.
Do it, David.
This is not some fling.
What else is lunchtime shagging? We haven't slept together yet.
And it wouldn't be shagging.
l think l'm in love with him.
When did all this happen? The moment we met, don't know.
But l've got all the symptoms.
l live for the moment when we're together and then l erm think about him all the time that we're not.
Remember what that's like? Vaguely.
For the first time, you know, in years, l feel alive.
What about David and your children? Are you going to leave them? l don't know.
l can't think that far ahead.
Yes, no, maybe? l don't know.
l think l married the wrong person.
No, that's not true.
l married the right person for who l was then.
But l think we may have run our course.
And l think Mark might be my future.
Oh, my God.
What shall l do? Karen, only you can decide that.
l just want you to be happy.
l don't think you've been happy for a long time.
Shit.
He's probably gone.
We haven't paid the bill.
l'll get the bill.
l er l actually thought that you weren't coming.
Well, l wasn't.
- l don't understand.
- Shut up.
Do you think getting dressed after sex is God's way of making you feel guilty? l don't know, but pulling your socks on does rather spoil the romance, doesn't it? Yeah.
Well, taking them off wasn't exactly sexy.
l know.
Mark, l'm not sure l can do this.
What? You want us to stop? No.
l just l just don't want it to become something that we do every Tuesday lunchtime.
Well, actually, Tuesdays aren't terribly good for me.
- l'm being serious.
- Yeah.
Well, so am l.
Listen to me.
Karen, l think that you are absolutely amazing.
And if l could, l would spend every moment with you.
But failing that l'll justtake what l can get.
That didn't sound very good, did it? - No.
- No.
Hey, what time do you have to be back at the office? l don't know.
Whenever.
Then get your socks off.
Oh, shit.
Oh, what are you doing? Nothing.
Come on, Josh, darling.
lt's time for bed.
Night-night, Josh.
TV: Eh, alors, où étais tu? - Who chose this? - l did.
Typical French.
Magnifique.
Oooh! Sexy.
lt is, isn't it? Moi aussi.
Je t'adore.
Tu es si belle, ma chérie.
Come on.
We should go.
Why? Because l'm tired, being pregnant and all.
On your feet.
No.
Listen, don't get up.
Don't get up.
Right.
BOTH: See you Bye.
What about the film? l thought you didn't like it.
Well, l didn't.
But l want to know what happens.
Well, l know.
l've seen it.
So? So take me home and l'll show you.
Mon amour, j'ai tant attendu pour ce moment.
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? Oui! Oui! OhGod.
Jo, wait.
Wait? l really like you.
- Well, good.
- No, no, no, no.
l mean l really like you.
That's why l think we shouldn't go too fast.
What? Still? l just think we should wait until the time's right.
But l thought it was right.
OK.
What does she see in him, you know? She's gorgeous, he's a big lump.
Ah, Rachel.
This is how the film ends.
Well, no.
Actually, she murders him.
But before that ErRach.
Erml've just eaten.
So? Oh, God.
Adam, is this still to do with the baby's name? No, no.
But, actually, we need to resolve that.
Tea, come on.
l don't know why you're being so difficult about this.
You see? That is what annoys me.
The assumption that l'm the one being difficult.
Yeah? Well, you are.
Well, if you accept that children should take their father's name.
The world does.
OK, how about we give it both our surnames? What? Like George Williams-Bradley? Yeah, or Bradley-Williams.
Oh, you're arguing about billing.
Anyway, double-barrelled.
- We could toss a coin.
- Yeah.
No.
All right.
What if if it's a boy, it takes your name, and if it's a girl it takes mine? Well Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe.
Are you tired? Not really.
Really? l've got an early start in the morning, darling.
Night.
Good night.
Agh! Cheers Here's to you and me Baby, can't you see? We can win the day Show the way we got Shite! We're gonna be rich, not poor, us Don't be a brontosaurus Go to it, we can do it Cheers We should make a toast l'm not one to boast Bollocks to this.
Let's go and get a drink.
Yeah.
- Want the ball? - No.
So, my secretary's gone.
Finally.
- Has she? - Yes.
- Hang on.
Wait, wait, wait.
- What? Geraldine's invitations to the book launch.
Right.
See you in a couple of months.
Thank you.
Bye.
- Hi.
- Oh, hello.
l was just erm .
.
passing.
Ercould l have a wee word? Sure.
Oh, God! Ahh.
(Moans) - Karen! - Ohh! God! l haven't seen you in a while, l thought l'd catch up on things.
Yeah? And you want to talk about something you don't want to tell the others, huh? l don't mind - so long as it's good.
So, come on.
Drop your beans.
We still haven't had sex.
Still? l thought it was going really well.
- l mean, last night - Yeah.
l don't know.
Pete and l have such a laugh together.
He's the first guy l've been out with who l can actually have fun with and he doesn't get all heavy on me.
That's the great thing about Jo.
She doesn't just laugh at my jokes.
She's likeJenny.
She shares my sense of humour.
Aee-eee! Ohh! No! (Giggles) No, no.
So what do you think the problem is? He doesn't fancy me.
- Oh, bollocks.
Course he does.
- So why doesn't he want to get physical? Because l'm worried that when l get my kit off, she'll see me for exactly what l am - a frog, not a prince.
Come on, Pete.
Stop being so down on yourself.
Do you know, you are a really great guy.
Anyway, it's probably for the best.
How do you mean? - My visa's run out.
- Ah.
- l've got to leave the country.
- What, really? - Yeah.
- Oh, no.
Well, surely you can get it renewed.
With working visas it's not that simple.
- There must be something you can do.
- Faced with British bureaucracy? Trust me, l've tried everything.
l don't know.
My time's up and that's that.
Well, have you told Pete that? Look, girlsthey don't care what you look like.
lt's how they look.
And Jo? She likes you.
Youand your big old cojones.
- OK? - OK.
(Sighs and clears throat) Come in.
What are you doing? Packing.
l'm going back to Oz.
- Why? - Visa's run out.
- So you just get another one.
- Yeah, maybe.
Hey, Jo.
Jo, come on.
Look, Pete, let's be honest, you know.
lt's not really working out between us.
ls that what you think? Did you come in for something? No.
lt doesn't matter.
Karen? Ramona? You have one message.
(Ecstatic panting) Oh, God.
(Ringing tone) Oh, God.
(Both moan and pant) MARK: Oh, Christ.
Oh, Christ.
Oh, Christ.
- Oh, God.
Oh, God.
(Karen Moans) (Both moan and pant) - Kar Disgusting.
ANSWERPHONE: Message deleted.
End of messages.
Hello, Joshy.
Oh, great picture.
- Hi.
- Hello, darling.
Good day.
Yes, thanks.
Wonderful.
l've been thinking about the name for the baby.
- Oh, bloody hell.
- No, no, look.
l think we should go with your idea.
lf it's a boy, it takes my name.
lf it's a girl, it takes yours.
Are you sure? You don't mind? Well, yeah, it is a bit of a risk, but we've got to find a compromise.
OK, great.
l'll tell you what.
lf it's a girl, you can choose the first name.
- Well, l wouldn't worry about that.
- Why not? Well, um because there's a 50/50 chance it won't be.
You've found out the sex.
- No, l haven't.
- Yes, you have, it's a boy.
- He might not be.
- You bloody bastard! - l didn't want to know! - l didn't want to tell you.
l can see that! Just back off, will you? Stop forcing me to do things your way.
lt's funny, lseem to spend half my life at airports saying goodbye to people l care about.
You really care about me? Yeah.
Just not in that way.
What way? TANNO Y: Flight BA21 direct to Sydney is now boarding.
They're boarding.
l'd better go.
Get some duty free.
l'll miss you.
l'll miss you too.
OK, l'll see you.
Bye.
MAN: Boarding pass, please.
Thank you, madam.
Hello.
Nice to see you.
- lt's great, isn't it? - Very good.
Hello.
You look stunning.
Thank you.
l have to say you've done a fantastic job.
Welll aim to please.
l'll erspeak to you in a minute.
- How's it going? - Really well.
Good reviews.
Lots of interest from the press.
No, l didn't mean the book launch.
Oh.
Great.
Bit weird being here with his wife.
- He doesn't seem too bothered.
- Yeah, well Love makes liars of us all, Rachel.
- Hello, darling.
- Hello.
- Rachel.
- David.
- So, how's it going? - Really well.
- Good reviews, lots of interest from the press.
- Great.
l'm so proud of you.
Jo get off all right? - Mm.
- Ah, well, we're going to miss her.
- Yeah, l will.
- You would.
No more sex.
- No.
- Mm-hm.
You wanker.
You never cracked it.
Rachel told me.
- Oh, God.
- Carrying on like you were an item.
- Well, we were.
- My arse.
You never got near her bra.
- You all right, Pete? - No.
Jolly good.
Karen's brilliant at this.
Just as well, since we may soon have to rely on her income.
Pete, l was asked to recommend some redundancies - Operation Poisoned Chalice.
So l drew up these three different lists.
Who l don't like, who's a waste of space, who's not worth what they're paid.
l put myself on that one.
Not serious but just for my own amusement.
But, unfortunately Helen, how do you save a document? Just click on Save.
(Click) Erm - No, that was Send.
- Send? - Who have l sent it to? - The whole office.
WOMAN: This is outrageous.
l can't believe it.
What is going on? lt was a complete nightmare.
Oi, cop for this, will you? - Thanks for that.
- Not at all.
You're welcome.
- Thank you.
- Could l borrow Geraldine? - Uh-huh.
- Excuse me.
Oi.
Oi.
Listen here.
- You're the wanker, not me.
- What? You've never doubted that women all fancy you.
But l do.
That's why l never got it on with Jo.
l never even tried.
- Because she's way out of my league.
RACHEL: Pete And the moment she realises this, l'll get hurt.
l'll even tell you this: l think l'm in love with her.
That's why l want her as a friend, not as an ex.
Hang on a minute.
She feels exactly the same about you.
- What? - Yeah, she told me before she left.
She's absolutely mad about you.
- What, me? - Yeah.
But l'm me.
Well, exactly.
You do it for her.
You know what she likes best? - No.
- You make her laugh.
But she didn't think that you fancied her.
- You're joking.
- No.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
Karen, do you think l might have a word, please? Yeah, sure.
Eryou know Mark? Yeah.
lthink he might be having an affair.
What makes you say that? Oh, l've come to recognise the signs.
Has he done it before? Once or twice.
Hasn't he mentioned it? No.
Why would he? l'm not angry, Karen.
ln fact, l suspect you're taking it a little more seriously than he is.
But then, that's happened before as well.
Come on.
l ought to make a speech.
What? (Sighs) This name thing.
lt's really important to you, isn't it? Ah, Rach, l don't know.
lt's like a man thing, you know.
Let's hope the young Mr Williams doesn't inherit it.
Really? Yes.
- Thank you.
- But one thing.
l'd like to give him my grandad's first name.
Wasn't something like Hilary or Vivian, was it? No.
But none of the United team are called it, l've checked.
- What is it? - Matthew.
Matthew? Ah, terrific! - Really? - Yeah, Matthew.
Matt Busby.
Whoo-hoo.
Ah, come here to me.
Look, l'm sorry if l've been a bit full-on lately.
l'll try and be more sensitive to your needs.
- Can we start with sex, please? - What? Well, l mean, we've not done it for ages.
And l'm getting really quite desperate.
(Sighs) - My God, Adam.
- What? - You don't fancy me any more, now l'm big.
- Yeah, l do.
No, you don't.
You think l'm some fat, old whale.
No, no, darlingl don't.
lt's just our son's up there.
lt's a bit rude to go poking about.
No offence, but l don't think you're going to reach.
(Sighs) Rachel, l do like your bump.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, l love it.
lt's gorgeous.
Butyou know Oh, sweetheart, l think l think he's asleep.
(Whispers) And if we go really quietly, l don't think he'll wake up.
Come on.
Natalie.
l'm just trying to write to Sir Donald.
Too late, David, the damage has been done.
My God, has it? (Clinking) - What is this? Leaving present.
Enjoy.
- Natalie.
- Sir Donald.
David.
l wonder what it is? l've no idea.
Look, l'll have my desk cleared in a few minutes.
Jolly good.
The sooner you can get your feet under Natalie's.
Natalie's? Don't act surprised.
lt was your suggestion.
A good memo, by the way.
And a nice touch, adding your own name.
Brave.
The sort of leadership this firm needs.
Silver coins.
Yes.
30 of them, l should imagine.
No.
No, lan, l said Tuesday and l mean Tuesday.
Right, yeah.
l'll have to call you back.
Yeah.
Bye.
Why didn't you tell me you've done this before? What? This.
Us.
Geraldine knows.
Karen, listen to me.
l am in love with you.
Absolutely and utterly in love with you.
She could tell David any time she wants.
Well, then, that's that, then, isn't it? We're over.
No.
No.
l'll leave her and you leave David.
Hm? (Phone rings) (Sleepily) What's that? - What time is it? - l don't know.
Oh.
- Hello.
PETE: Hello, Adam, mate.
lt's me.
Pete, have you any idea what time it is? Yes, it's quarter to twelve.
- No, it's not.
- lt is here, mate.
(Laughs) Hang on.
l've got someone who wants to say hello to you.
Adam, it's Jo.
Hey.
Listen, l'm so sorry.
Pete insisted that we call.
l'll let you go back to sleep.
Bye.
The bollocks.
He's buggered off to Australia.
(Sighs) Don't want this to go to your head but .
.
that was well worth the wait.
lt was well worth travelling 1 0,000 miles for as well.
l'm so glad you came.
- Not just for - The Yeah, l get it.
Next to the boyfriend who tattooed Jo on his arm, it's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me.
Well, it's the daftest thing l've ever done.
And the most sensible.
You know .
.
l've only ever told one woman that l loved her.
Your mum.
That's two.
And do you know something? l'd like to go for the hat trick.
l love you.
Marry me.
(Phone rings) (Groans) Jesus! Sorry, darling.
What now? You're what?
- Hello.
- How was your flight? - lt was tiring.
- Mm.
- Jenny says hello.
- Mm-hm.
- Holy shite! What is that? - What? You're enormous.
- l'm having a baby.
- What? Right now? Nice to see you, too, Adam.
OhRach.
Rachel! Good to see you.
Tell me about New York.
lt was fine.
- Do you want tea? - Ooh, l'd love one.
Bloody hell! l know.
Since l've been away, it's just kind of (Makes ripping sound) Anyway, what have l missed? Oh, erm Nothing, really.
Oh, Suggs and l broke up.
Oh, no.
Why? Do you want to see a movie tonight? What are we doing, practising for my next date? Actually, l thought this could be your next date.
No real reason.
Just kind of fizzled out.
Jo said David had bought you a racehorse.
We went to watch it run at Chester.
Oh, l bet that was brilliant.
Well, it was certainly a day l won't forget in a hurry.
So come on.
You've told me about everyone else.
What about you? Erwhat do you mean? What did you get up to while l was away? Erm lt wasn't you who came back to my flat the other night? No.
Took me to bed and couldn't deliver the goods? No.
Fine.
l got picked up by this gorgeous woman who tried to seduce me, but l couldn't be unfaithful to you.
Yeah, right.
TAPE: lt'sjust as well, really, cos (Batteries go flat) (Knock on door) - Come in.
- David, not interrupting, am l? - l'm looking for some batteries.
- Never mind that.
l've got a job for you.
l am your loyal lieutenant.
Sorry, (American accent) loo-tenant.
Whatever.
You're a pretty good judge of character.
The new chairman - what do you make of him? Sir Donald? Well, he's an amiable old cove.
Very clubbable.
Not one to rock the boat.
He wants us to cut the wage bill by 20%.
God.
Mm.
He's given me the job of recommending where the axe should fall.
l don't envy you that one.
Neither do l, which is why l am giving the job to you.
To me? - lt's called delegation, David.
- lt's called passing the buck, Natalie.
Helen, tell Charles l want to see him.
You are not passing the buck to him? No, no.
l'm just delegating.
Helen, cancel that.
Look, David, this has got to come from the top.
And after me, that's you.
Besides, you're perfect.
You know the staff.
- You get along with them.
- Not when news of this leaks out.
Which is why we need complete confidentiality.
lf you're going to send me memos, write them yourself.
Karen.
Hey, Mark.
Come on, then.
Where do l sit? l beg your pardon? My desk.
l take it l'll have a desk.
l thought you turned the job down.
- Well, l reconsidered.
- Oh.
- lf the offer's still open.
(Phone rings) Well, ermyou understand we we have been interviewing.
lNTERCOM: Mark, your wife on line one.
Eryes, Jill.
Tell her l'll call her back.
Right.
So, where were we? Oh, yes your desk.
(Revving engines and rock music) Whoo-ha! Suck on my exhaust, loser.
Hey, you only came fifth.
Yeah, which is one ahead of you.
TANNO Y: Starters to the grid.
Race Four.
Ah! Enjoy the view from behind.
''lntroduce bracket A into runner B.
'' Right.
- What's that? - Oh, ermit's a cot.
lt's meant to be, but er we might have to make do with a sheep pen.
A cot? Yeah, yeah.
Look, l thought you'd be longer in the bath.
You know, l erml wanted it to be a surprise.
Well, it is it is.
Ermwhen did you get that? Yesterday.
Don't worry.
l did the research.
Smooth-action drop side.
Enough bells and whistles to keep them amused, but not to keep them awake.
Adam, we've still got a way to go.
lt might take me that long to put it together.
l mean, have you seen these instructions? They're translated from Swedish.
l've been introducing the pieces.
l don't know if l'm ready to get into cots yet.
Yeah, but l am.
Rach, the last few days - l'm so excited about the baby.
And look at the state of you.
You look fit to drop.
l just wish you wouldn't do it now.
Given that it is a pain in the hole, and all l've managed to do is get these bits out of the box Sorry, Adam.
l'm sure l've still got jet lag.
Why don't you ring up Pete and go to the pub tonight? What a wife.
(Chuckles) (Mobile phone rings) Hello? Nag's Head or Crossed Keys? - You what? - Where you're taking me for a pint, big lad.
- No, l can't.
l'm busy.
- Doing what? - Ermseeing my mum.
- Hey, you want a drink? Was that Jo? No.
Coke.
TANNO Y: All go-karts - You're at the Kartin.
Yeah, all right, l am.
Yeah.
- With your mother? - Yeah.
Well, it's over-60s night.
Race A Granny.
Anyway, got to go.
l'll call you tomorrow.
Bye.
Wh? Right, you bollocks.
Here, Rachel.
(Mobile phone rings) - Just the one, thanks.
Hello? - Hi, it's Adam.
ls Pete there? - Yeah, hang on, he's right here.
- Hello? - Ah-ha! Didn't think l knew Jo's number, eh? No.
No, no.
Well, Rachel did.
So, Jo is there.
l bet your mother isn't.
- She's probably at Mass.
- Adam! Put my name down.
l'll be there in 20.
No, no, no, no.
Adam, no, no.
Wait.
You can't come.
Look, l don't want you to come.
lf you see what l mean.
Bye.
- l was watching that.
- TV can't replace the art of conversation.
lt can when it's Bad Girls and you're the one talking.
- l think Jo and Pete are on a date.
- Oh, my God! Leave out nothing.
lt's an absolute minefield.
Anyone l recommend for redundancy is bound to hold it against me.
lf they're out of a job, there's not much they can do about it.
Yeah, l suppose l should be thankful for small mercies.
So, how was your first day? Good.
Very good, thanks.
l think l'm going to enjoy being back at work.
You don't mind, do you? What? The fact that you're at work or the fact that you enjoy it? (Laughs) Darling, l think it's great.
You were never really very happy being one of those ladies who lunch.
David, l was never that.
Oh, you've been seen in Wilmslow once or twice.
Look, so long as you're happy, darling, you know? - Yeah.
- l think that's great for us all.
lt does mean l'm going to be a bit more tired.
Oh.
- Would a massage help? - No, thanks, darling.
l'd rather just go to sleep.
Night.
Good night.
You know how they say pregnant women have cravings? Yeah, what's yours? Peanut butter on celery? Avocados? Coal? You.
- Sorry? - l want sex, Adam.
(Whimpers) (Cries) Eh? l think it must be my hormones.
Well, l mean, wha-wha-what about your jet lag? Second wind.
Look, but Rachel.
We haven't talked since you got home, not properly.
Come on.
Get them off.
l've thought of some names for the baby! Adam, l've told you.
l don't want to talk about that now.
Ah, but you know, l mean Now it's starting to ermtake shape, l want to put a name to it.
Come on.
Go on, then.
Erright.
Now if it's a boy, what about Ryan or Roy? - Right.
Giggs or Keane.
- Difficult choice, l admit.
Does it have to be a Manchester United player? Yes.
Maybe not current.
Bobby.
l prefer Robbie.
That would make him Robbie Williams.
No, Robbie Bradley.
(Both moan) (Laughs) Jo? - Yes? - Wait.
l don't think we should rush into anything.
No? No.
Oh.
OK.
l might just go and see if there's erm if there's any footie on.
Oh, bugger! (Bird calls) (Sighs) My game always goes to pot when l'm notyou know.
Again? l thought you were.
No, not since Karen started her new job.
She's been a bit too tired.
lt's ironic, considering a week ago l was the only one of us having sex and now l'm the only one not.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh, shite! We're not having sex, either.
So, in fact Pete's the only one of us having sex.
Oh, bollocks.
l'm just crap at golf, that's all.
- Are you sure he's having sex? - l think he's having too much.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
Well, it's just Jo (lmitates Jo) Jo has a fairly healthy appetite, judging by the stories she's told Rachel.
What stories? l don't know.
Rachel wouldn't tell me.
You can imagine.
Come on.
Look at her track record.
Her boss, Suggs, you.
All in the past three months.
Pretty good effort.
Look at your track record before Rachel.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, that was different.
- Oh, why? Because you're a man, a stud? Well So you're telling me you think that Jo's a slapper? - Well, that's not a very nice word.
- Oh, which would you prefer? Slut, slag, slattern? lt's funny how they all begin with S.
Except trollop, of course.
Pete, come on.
l'm pulling your leg! You have to admit, though, she does put it about a bit.
Listen, here.
lf l hear you talk about Jo like that one more time, l will rip your throat out.
Right? He's a bit touchy, isn't he? Thank you.
Mark, you don't think your secretary suspects anything, do you? Jill? Why on earth should she? Well, you don't take your other editors out for lunch.
They don't have a book coming out in a week.
Written by your wife.
Yes.
So, how's the erlaunch party coming, then? Really well, good.
Geraldine's looking forward to it.
So's David.
Right.
You know, we don't really need to beat ourselves up about this.
We haven'tactually done anything yet.
We kissed.
Yes, and it was very nice, wasn't it? So Why don't you have lunch with me on Friday at the Buccina? What? The hotel? This will just be a little cold.
Oh, God.
You all right? Yeah.
l'm fine.
Oh, God.
Look.
Strong image.
- lt all looks good.
- That's good.
l'll take some measurements.
Oh.
Ermcan you tell its sex? - Adam.
- What? - We said we didn't want to know.
- l know, but l do now.
Can you? - l don't.
- Rachel, this late in the day, look - Yeah, but something could still go wrong.
- Don't be saying that, he might hear you.
lt is a he, isn't it? A boy? Adam, we agreed we didn't want to know.
Well, it's a good size.
For a boy or a girl? - Adam! - What? (Sighs) (Knock on door) Come in.
David, could l have a word? Of course, Charles, of course.
My door is always open.
Yes.
l should finish the report you want by this afternoon.
There's no hurry, Charles.
Was that it? Yes.
Did you know we've recently moved house? No No, somewhere nice? Yes, very.
Well, it's bigger.
The mortgage is something of a burden.
But, well, we had to with a fourth child on the way.
Of course, they're not cheap themselves.
Well, you know.
You've got three, haven't you? Yes.
David, please don't sack me.
Francesca's not working.
We really need my salary.
- l'll do anything - What makes you think that l'm cutting staff? - Sir Donald's barber heard him on his phone.
- His barber? Goes out with Trudy from the mail room.
Oh, marvellous.
So everyone knows, do they? You must have noticed the atmosphere.
Yes.
Yes, of course.
Listen, Charles.
Look, it really isn't my decision.
l've simply been asked to make some recommendations, look at one or two options.
So the fact that my name appears on this list doesn't necessarily mean anything? Where did you get this? From your wastepaper basket after you'd gone home last night.
- Karen? - What are you doing here? l'm bidding a final farewell to fashion.
- l am buying maternity clothes.
- Come for coffee.
- You're hurting me.
- Sorry.
Rach, when we bumped into each other, l was meant to be meeting Mark.
At the Buccina? Why didn't you say? The food's excellent.
- Didn't want to go.
- Why not? No part of me wanted to go.
Sorry, l don't follow.
He hadn't booked us a table, he'd booked us a room.
(Knock on door) - No! - Sorry, l didn't realise it was you.
- Are you sensitive to light? Yes, and staring.
So, what progress have you made? To be honest, l haven't yet identified any jobs that might be cut.
David, l am getting pressure from Sir Donald on this.
lf you won't find some sacrificial lambs, well l will.
Do it, David.
This is not some fling.
What else is lunchtime shagging? We haven't slept together yet.
And it wouldn't be shagging.
l think l'm in love with him.
When did all this happen? The moment we met, don't know.
But l've got all the symptoms.
l live for the moment when we're together and then l erm think about him all the time that we're not.
Remember what that's like? Vaguely.
For the first time, you know, in years, l feel alive.
What about David and your children? Are you going to leave them? l don't know.
l can't think that far ahead.
Yes, no, maybe? l don't know.
l think l married the wrong person.
No, that's not true.
l married the right person for who l was then.
But l think we may have run our course.
And l think Mark might be my future.
Oh, my God.
What shall l do? Karen, only you can decide that.
l just want you to be happy.
l don't think you've been happy for a long time.
Shit.
He's probably gone.
We haven't paid the bill.
l'll get the bill.
l er l actually thought that you weren't coming.
Well, l wasn't.
- l don't understand.
- Shut up.
Do you think getting dressed after sex is God's way of making you feel guilty? l don't know, but pulling your socks on does rather spoil the romance, doesn't it? Yeah.
Well, taking them off wasn't exactly sexy.
l know.
Mark, l'm not sure l can do this.
What? You want us to stop? No.
l just l just don't want it to become something that we do every Tuesday lunchtime.
Well, actually, Tuesdays aren't terribly good for me.
- l'm being serious.
- Yeah.
Well, so am l.
Listen to me.
Karen, l think that you are absolutely amazing.
And if l could, l would spend every moment with you.
But failing that l'll justtake what l can get.
That didn't sound very good, did it? - No.
- No.
Hey, what time do you have to be back at the office? l don't know.
Whenever.
Then get your socks off.
Oh, shit.
Oh, what are you doing? Nothing.
Come on, Josh, darling.
lt's time for bed.
Night-night, Josh.
TV: Eh, alors, où étais tu? - Who chose this? - l did.
Typical French.
Magnifique.
Oooh! Sexy.
lt is, isn't it? Moi aussi.
Je t'adore.
Tu es si belle, ma chérie.
Come on.
We should go.
Why? Because l'm tired, being pregnant and all.
On your feet.
No.
Listen, don't get up.
Don't get up.
Right.
BOTH: See you Bye.
What about the film? l thought you didn't like it.
Well, l didn't.
But l want to know what happens.
Well, l know.
l've seen it.
So? So take me home and l'll show you.
Mon amour, j'ai tant attendu pour ce moment.
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir? Oui! Oui! OhGod.
Jo, wait.
Wait? l really like you.
- Well, good.
- No, no, no, no.
l mean l really like you.
That's why l think we shouldn't go too fast.
What? Still? l just think we should wait until the time's right.
But l thought it was right.
OK.
What does she see in him, you know? She's gorgeous, he's a big lump.
Ah, Rachel.
This is how the film ends.
Well, no.
Actually, she murders him.
But before that ErRach.
Erml've just eaten.
So? Oh, God.
Adam, is this still to do with the baby's name? No, no.
But, actually, we need to resolve that.
Tea, come on.
l don't know why you're being so difficult about this.
You see? That is what annoys me.
The assumption that l'm the one being difficult.
Yeah? Well, you are.
Well, if you accept that children should take their father's name.
The world does.
OK, how about we give it both our surnames? What? Like George Williams-Bradley? Yeah, or Bradley-Williams.
Oh, you're arguing about billing.
Anyway, double-barrelled.
- We could toss a coin.
- Yeah.
No.
All right.
What if if it's a boy, it takes your name, and if it's a girl it takes mine? Well Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe.
Are you tired? Not really.
Really? l've got an early start in the morning, darling.
Night.
Good night.
Agh! Cheers Here's to you and me Baby, can't you see? We can win the day Show the way we got Shite! We're gonna be rich, not poor, us Don't be a brontosaurus Go to it, we can do it Cheers We should make a toast l'm not one to boast Bollocks to this.
Let's go and get a drink.
Yeah.
- Want the ball? - No.
So, my secretary's gone.
Finally.
- Has she? - Yes.
- Hang on.
Wait, wait, wait.
- What? Geraldine's invitations to the book launch.
Right.
See you in a couple of months.
Thank you.
Bye.
- Hi.
- Oh, hello.
l was just erm .
.
passing.
Ercould l have a wee word? Sure.
Oh, God! Ahh.
(Moans) - Karen! - Ohh! God! l haven't seen you in a while, l thought l'd catch up on things.
Yeah? And you want to talk about something you don't want to tell the others, huh? l don't mind - so long as it's good.
So, come on.
Drop your beans.
We still haven't had sex.
Still? l thought it was going really well.
- l mean, last night - Yeah.
l don't know.
Pete and l have such a laugh together.
He's the first guy l've been out with who l can actually have fun with and he doesn't get all heavy on me.
That's the great thing about Jo.
She doesn't just laugh at my jokes.
She's likeJenny.
She shares my sense of humour.
Aee-eee! Ohh! No! (Giggles) No, no.
So what do you think the problem is? He doesn't fancy me.
- Oh, bollocks.
Course he does.
- So why doesn't he want to get physical? Because l'm worried that when l get my kit off, she'll see me for exactly what l am - a frog, not a prince.
Come on, Pete.
Stop being so down on yourself.
Do you know, you are a really great guy.
Anyway, it's probably for the best.
How do you mean? - My visa's run out.
- Ah.
- l've got to leave the country.
- What, really? - Yeah.
- Oh, no.
Well, surely you can get it renewed.
With working visas it's not that simple.
- There must be something you can do.
- Faced with British bureaucracy? Trust me, l've tried everything.
l don't know.
My time's up and that's that.
Well, have you told Pete that? Look, girlsthey don't care what you look like.
lt's how they look.
And Jo? She likes you.
Youand your big old cojones.
- OK? - OK.
(Sighs and clears throat) Come in.
What are you doing? Packing.
l'm going back to Oz.
- Why? - Visa's run out.
- So you just get another one.
- Yeah, maybe.
Hey, Jo.
Jo, come on.
Look, Pete, let's be honest, you know.
lt's not really working out between us.
ls that what you think? Did you come in for something? No.
lt doesn't matter.
Karen? Ramona? You have one message.
(Ecstatic panting) Oh, God.
(Ringing tone) Oh, God.
(Both moan and pant) MARK: Oh, Christ.
Oh, Christ.
Oh, Christ.
- Oh, God.
Oh, God.
(Karen Moans) (Both moan and pant) - Kar Disgusting.
ANSWERPHONE: Message deleted.
End of messages.
Hello, Joshy.
Oh, great picture.
- Hi.
- Hello, darling.
Good day.
Yes, thanks.
Wonderful.
l've been thinking about the name for the baby.
- Oh, bloody hell.
- No, no, look.
l think we should go with your idea.
lf it's a boy, it takes my name.
lf it's a girl, it takes yours.
Are you sure? You don't mind? Well, yeah, it is a bit of a risk, but we've got to find a compromise.
OK, great.
l'll tell you what.
lf it's a girl, you can choose the first name.
- Well, l wouldn't worry about that.
- Why not? Well, um because there's a 50/50 chance it won't be.
You've found out the sex.
- No, l haven't.
- Yes, you have, it's a boy.
- He might not be.
- You bloody bastard! - l didn't want to know! - l didn't want to tell you.
l can see that! Just back off, will you? Stop forcing me to do things your way.
lt's funny, lseem to spend half my life at airports saying goodbye to people l care about.
You really care about me? Yeah.
Just not in that way.
What way? TANNO Y: Flight BA21 direct to Sydney is now boarding.
They're boarding.
l'd better go.
Get some duty free.
l'll miss you.
l'll miss you too.
OK, l'll see you.
Bye.
MAN: Boarding pass, please.
Thank you, madam.
Hello.
Nice to see you.
- lt's great, isn't it? - Very good.
Hello.
You look stunning.
Thank you.
l have to say you've done a fantastic job.
Welll aim to please.
l'll erspeak to you in a minute.
- How's it going? - Really well.
Good reviews.
Lots of interest from the press.
No, l didn't mean the book launch.
Oh.
Great.
Bit weird being here with his wife.
- He doesn't seem too bothered.
- Yeah, well Love makes liars of us all, Rachel.
- Hello, darling.
- Hello.
- Rachel.
- David.
- So, how's it going? - Really well.
- Good reviews, lots of interest from the press.
- Great.
l'm so proud of you.
Jo get off all right? - Mm.
- Ah, well, we're going to miss her.
- Yeah, l will.
- You would.
No more sex.
- No.
- Mm-hm.
You wanker.
You never cracked it.
Rachel told me.
- Oh, God.
- Carrying on like you were an item.
- Well, we were.
- My arse.
You never got near her bra.
- You all right, Pete? - No.
Jolly good.
Karen's brilliant at this.
Just as well, since we may soon have to rely on her income.
Pete, l was asked to recommend some redundancies - Operation Poisoned Chalice.
So l drew up these three different lists.
Who l don't like, who's a waste of space, who's not worth what they're paid.
l put myself on that one.
Not serious but just for my own amusement.
But, unfortunately Helen, how do you save a document? Just click on Save.
(Click) Erm - No, that was Send.
- Send? - Who have l sent it to? - The whole office.
WOMAN: This is outrageous.
l can't believe it.
What is going on? lt was a complete nightmare.
Oi, cop for this, will you? - Thanks for that.
- Not at all.
You're welcome.
- Thank you.
- Could l borrow Geraldine? - Uh-huh.
- Excuse me.
Oi.
Oi.
Listen here.
- You're the wanker, not me.
- What? You've never doubted that women all fancy you.
But l do.
That's why l never got it on with Jo.
l never even tried.
- Because she's way out of my league.
RACHEL: Pete And the moment she realises this, l'll get hurt.
l'll even tell you this: l think l'm in love with her.
That's why l want her as a friend, not as an ex.
Hang on a minute.
She feels exactly the same about you.
- What? - Yeah, she told me before she left.
She's absolutely mad about you.
- What, me? - Yeah.
But l'm me.
Well, exactly.
You do it for her.
You know what she likes best? - No.
- You make her laugh.
But she didn't think that you fancied her.
- You're joking.
- No.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
Karen, do you think l might have a word, please? Yeah, sure.
Eryou know Mark? Yeah.
lthink he might be having an affair.
What makes you say that? Oh, l've come to recognise the signs.
Has he done it before? Once or twice.
Hasn't he mentioned it? No.
Why would he? l'm not angry, Karen.
ln fact, l suspect you're taking it a little more seriously than he is.
But then, that's happened before as well.
Come on.
l ought to make a speech.
What? (Sighs) This name thing.
lt's really important to you, isn't it? Ah, Rach, l don't know.
lt's like a man thing, you know.
Let's hope the young Mr Williams doesn't inherit it.
Really? Yes.
- Thank you.
- But one thing.
l'd like to give him my grandad's first name.
Wasn't something like Hilary or Vivian, was it? No.
But none of the United team are called it, l've checked.
- What is it? - Matthew.
Matthew? Ah, terrific! - Really? - Yeah, Matthew.
Matt Busby.
Whoo-hoo.
Ah, come here to me.
Look, l'm sorry if l've been a bit full-on lately.
l'll try and be more sensitive to your needs.
- Can we start with sex, please? - What? Well, l mean, we've not done it for ages.
And l'm getting really quite desperate.
(Sighs) - My God, Adam.
- What? - You don't fancy me any more, now l'm big.
- Yeah, l do.
No, you don't.
You think l'm some fat, old whale.
No, no, darlingl don't.
lt's just our son's up there.
lt's a bit rude to go poking about.
No offence, but l don't think you're going to reach.
(Sighs) Rachel, l do like your bump.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, l love it.
lt's gorgeous.
Butyou know Oh, sweetheart, l think l think he's asleep.
(Whispers) And if we go really quietly, l don't think he'll wake up.
Come on.
Natalie.
l'm just trying to write to Sir Donald.
Too late, David, the damage has been done.
My God, has it? (Clinking) - What is this? Leaving present.
Enjoy.
- Natalie.
- Sir Donald.
David.
l wonder what it is? l've no idea.
Look, l'll have my desk cleared in a few minutes.
Jolly good.
The sooner you can get your feet under Natalie's.
Natalie's? Don't act surprised.
lt was your suggestion.
A good memo, by the way.
And a nice touch, adding your own name.
Brave.
The sort of leadership this firm needs.
Silver coins.
Yes.
30 of them, l should imagine.
No.
No, lan, l said Tuesday and l mean Tuesday.
Right, yeah.
l'll have to call you back.
Yeah.
Bye.
Why didn't you tell me you've done this before? What? This.
Us.
Geraldine knows.
Karen, listen to me.
l am in love with you.
Absolutely and utterly in love with you.
She could tell David any time she wants.
Well, then, that's that, then, isn't it? We're over.
No.
No.
l'll leave her and you leave David.
Hm? (Phone rings) (Sleepily) What's that? - What time is it? - l don't know.
Oh.
- Hello.
PETE: Hello, Adam, mate.
lt's me.
Pete, have you any idea what time it is? Yes, it's quarter to twelve.
- No, it's not.
- lt is here, mate.
(Laughs) Hang on.
l've got someone who wants to say hello to you.
Adam, it's Jo.
Hey.
Listen, l'm so sorry.
Pete insisted that we call.
l'll let you go back to sleep.
Bye.
The bollocks.
He's buggered off to Australia.
(Sighs) Don't want this to go to your head but .
.
that was well worth the wait.
lt was well worth travelling 1 0,000 miles for as well.
l'm so glad you came.
- Not just for - The Yeah, l get it.
Next to the boyfriend who tattooed Jo on his arm, it's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me.
Well, it's the daftest thing l've ever done.
And the most sensible.
You know .
.
l've only ever told one woman that l loved her.
Your mum.
That's two.
And do you know something? l'd like to go for the hat trick.
l love you.
Marry me.
(Phone rings) (Groans) Jesus! Sorry, darling.
What now? You're what?