Cold Feet (1997) Episode Scripts

N/A - Series 6, Episode 3

1 He's miserable, Adam.
Your son desperately needs his dad.
I accept that you have to put Matt first.
You mean you'll stay, in Manchester? I accept that you have to put Matt first.
You mean you'll stay, in Manchester? I accept that you have to put Matt first.
You mean you'll stay, in Manchester? I accept that you have to put Matt first.
You mean you'll stay, in Manchester? I wondered what you might say to a very hot Indian.
I wondered what you might say to a very hot Indian.
I wondered what you might say to a very hot Indian.
I'm not really a sales rep, I'm an undercover cop.
(GIGGLES) I'm not really a sales rep, I'm an undercover cop.
(GIGGLES) What are you doing? Are you having a bad day? What are you doing? Are you having a bad day? That's it.
What? That's it.
What? That's it.
What? He's depressed.
He's depressed.
He's depressed.
(LOUD KNOCKING, DOORBELL RINGS) (LOUD KNOCKING, DOORBELL RINGS) What the hell was that? What? What the hell was that? What? What the hell was that? What? (KNOCKING RESUMES) That.
(KNOCKING RESUMES) That.
(KNOCKING RESUMES) That.
(KNOCKING CONTINUES) 6am! (KNOCKING CONTINUES) 6am! Grocery delivery (?) Not unless Ocado are employing the Gestapo.
Grocery delivery (?) Not unless Ocado are employing the Gestapo.
(DOORBELL RINGS) (DOORBELL RINGS) (DOORBELL RINGS) (SIGHS) Well, don't just lie there.
(GRUNTS) (SIGHS) Well, don't just lie there.
(GRUNTS) (SIGHS) Well, don't just lie there.
(GRUNTS) (INSISTENT KNOCKING) Matthew didn't deny it? Matthew didn't deny it? When Karen brought him home he didn't say a word, just looked sheepish.
When Karen brought him home he didn't say a word, just looked sheepish.
Matthew and Ellie, eh? Matthew and Ellie, eh? Karen says she wants to have a word with you.
Karen says she wants to have a word with you.
I bet she does.
I bet she does.
Mr David Marsden? My God, is it one of the children? No, sir.
Not Karen? No, it concerns you,sir.
Mr David Marsden? My God, is it one of the children? No, sir.
Not Karen? No, it concerns you,sir.
Mr David Marsden? My God, is it one of the children? No, sir.
Not Karen? No, it concerns you,sir.
Mr David Marsden? My God, is it one of the children? No, sir.
Not Karen? No, it concerns you,sir.
My speeding ticket? I understand.
I'm sorry, sir? Yes.
You see, my ex-wife - David.
Shut up! My speeding ticket? I understand.
I'm sorry, sir? Yes.
You see, my ex-wife - David.
Shut up! My speeding ticket? I understand.
I'm sorry, sir? Yes.
You see, my ex-wife - David.
Shut up! My speeding ticket? I understand.
I'm sorry, sir? Yes.
You see, my ex-wife - David.
Shut up! Officer, what's this all about? David Marsden, I'm arresting you on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud.
David Marsden, I'm arresting you on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud.
David Marsden, I'm arresting you on suspicion of conspiracy to defraud.
You do not have to say anything (CONTINUES TO RECITE CAUTION) You do not have to say anything (CONTINUES TO RECITE CAUTION) You do not have to say anything (CONTINUES TO RECITE CAUTION) You do not have to say anything (CONTINUES TO RECITE CAUTION) Have you been awake long? Ever since I came to bed.
Have you been awake long? Ever since I came to bed.
Have you been awake long? Ever since I came to bed.
Jen? Mm? Jen? Mm? Will you hold me? Will you hold me? Sure.
(SIGHS) Pete, I need a wee, OK? Please don't go yet.
Pete, I need a wee, OK? Please don't go yet.
Pete, I need a wee, OK? Please don't go yet.
OK.
# ED SHEERAN: Bloodstream # ED SHEERAN: Bloodstream # ED SHEERAN: Bloodstream Thank you.
(ENGINE TURNS OVER) Thank you.
(ENGINE TURNS OVER) Thank you.
(ENGINE TURNS OVER) (WHIRRING) (WHIRRING) What's going on? My helicopter.
What's going on? My helicopter.
They'll wait.
They'll wait.
He's been in my house a couple of days and there he is, in bed with my daughter.
He's been in my house a couple of days and there he is, in bed with my daughter.
He's been in my house a couple of days and there he is, in bed with my daughter.
He's been in my house a couple of days and there he is, in bed with my daughter.
I can only apologise.
You? What for? I can only apologise.
You? What for? I thought it was what you wanted me to do.
Listen, I accept that teenagers are gonna have sex.
I thought it was what you wanted me to do.
Listen, I accept that teenagers are gonna have sex.
I thought it was what you wanted me to do.
Listen, I accept that teenagers are gonna have sex.
I thought it was what you wanted me to do.
Listen, I accept that teenagers are gonna have sex.
God knows, I did.
Bus shelter, Ford Capri! I'd rather they were at home, butso quickly? God knows, I did.
Bus shelter, Ford Capri! I'd rather they were at home, butso quickly? God knows, I did.
Bus shelter, Ford Capri! I'd rather they were at home, butso quickly? God knows, I did.
Bus shelter, Ford Capri! I'd rather they were at home, butso quickly? God knows, I did.
Bus shelter, Ford Capri! I'd rather they were at home, butso quickly? I'm as surprised as you are.
I thought he might be gay.
Matthew? Yeah.
I'm as surprised as you are.
I thought he might be gay.
Matthew? Yeah.
I'm as surprised as you are.
I thought he might be gay.
Matthew? Yeah.
I'll have a word with him, but perhaps you should have a word with Ellie.
Don't worry.
Already have.
I'll have a word with him, but perhaps you should have a word with Ellie.
Don't worry.
Already have.
I'll have a word with him, but perhaps you should have a word with Ellie.
Don't worry.
Already have.
I'll have a word with him, but perhaps you should have a word with Ellie.
Don't worry.
Already have.
Ellie, just because you like him doesn't mean you have to fall into bed with him.
Don't be that girl.
Ellie, just because you like him doesn't mean you have to fall into bed with him.
Don't be that girl.
Ellie, just because you like him doesn't mean you have to fall into bed with him.
Don't be that girl.
Ellie, just because you like him doesn't mean you have to fall into bed with him.
Don't be that girl.
You've always told me my body is mine.
You've always told me my body is mine.
You've always told me my body is mine.
I should decide what I do with it, not be pressured by others.
I should decide what I do with it, not be pressured by others.
I should decide what I do with it, not be pressured by others.
I hate it when she uses my arguments against me.
D'you think they're serious? Well, you'd hope so! I hate it when she uses my arguments against me.
D'you think they're serious? Well, you'd hope so! I hate it when she uses my arguments against me.
D'you think they're serious? Well, you'd hope so! I hate it when she uses my arguments against me.
D'you think they're serious? Well, you'd hope so! You and me, bound together like the houses of Montague and Capulet.
Yeah.
That ended well.
You and me, bound together like the houses of Montague and Capulet.
Yeah.
That ended well.
You and me, bound together like the houses of Montague and Capulet.
Yeah.
That ended well.
You and me, bound together like the houses of Montague and Capulet.
Yeah.
That ended well.
(RINGTONE) Is that you or me? (DIFFERENT RINGTONE) It's youand me.
(RINGTONE) Is that you or me? (DIFFERENT RINGTONE) It's youand me.
(RINGTONE) Is that you or me? (DIFFERENT RINGTONE) It's youand me.
(RINGTONE) Is that you or me? (DIFFERENT RINGTONE) It's youand me.
Ellie.
I was just talking about you.
Jen.
Ellie.
I was just talking about you.
Jen.
Ellie.
I was just talking about you.
Jen.
ELLIE: 'Mum, you know Jaz who lives opposite Dad?' Yeah.
She saw him being taken away by thepolice.
ELLIE: 'Mum, you know Jaz who lives opposite Dad?' Yeah.
She saw him being taken away by thepolice.
ELLIE: 'Mum, you know Jaz who lives opposite Dad?' Yeah.
She saw him being taken away by thepolice.
ELLIE: 'Mum, you know Jaz who lives opposite Dad?' Yeah.
She saw him being taken away by thepolice.
What? You don't think he'll do anything daft, do you? What? You don't think he'll do anything daft, do you? What? You don't think he'll do anything daft, do you? Don't think he's gonna do anything at all.
He's just sort of welded to the armchair.
Don't think he's gonna do anything at all.
He's just sort of welded to the armchair.
Don't think he's gonna do anything at all.
He's just sort of welded to the armchair.
Don't think he's gonna do anything at all.
He's just sort of welded to the armchair.
I've managed to get him a doctor's appointment.
I've got to get myself to work.
Adamwill youtake him? I've managed to get him a doctor's appointment.
I've got to get myself to work.
Adamwill youtake him? I've managed to get him a doctor's appointment.
I've got to get myself to work.
Adamwill youtake him? I've managed to get him a doctor's appointment.
I've got to get myself to work.
Adamwill youtake him? Yeah, of course.
Hang on, Jen.
Yeah, of course.
Hang on, Jen.
Yeah, of course.
Hang on, Jen.
Adam, can you take me to the police station? David and I have done something really stupid.
Adam, can you take me to the police station? David and I have done something really stupid.
Adam, can you take me to the police station? David and I have done something really stupid.
This is so degrading.
And the quality of the coffee! God.
This is so degrading.
And the quality of the coffee! God.
This is so degrading.
And the quality of the coffee! God.
Can't you get me out of here? It's what I'm paying you for.
They can hold you for up to 24 hours.
Can't you get me out of here? It's what I'm paying you for.
They can hold you for up to 24 hours.
Can't you get me out of here? It's what I'm paying you for.
They can hold you for up to 24 hours.
Can't you get me out of here? It's what I'm paying you for.
They can hold you for up to 24 hours.
Longer, if it's a serious crime.
Such as murder.
Murder? Which it isn't.
Longer, if it's a serious crime.
Such as murder.
Murder? Which it isn't.
Longer, if it's a serious crime.
Such as murder.
Murder? Which it isn't.
Longer, if it's a serious crime.
Such as murder.
Murder? Which it isn't.
It's piffling.
My ex-wife taking speeding points for me.
David, I didn't hear that.
It's piffling.
My ex-wife taking speeding points for me.
David, I didn't hear that.
It's piffling.
My ex-wife taking speeding points for me.
David, I didn't hear that.
It's piffling.
My ex-wife taking speeding points for me.
David, I didn't hear that.
I said, my ex-wife taking - It's got nothing to do with the driving offence.
I said, my ex-wife taking - It's got nothing to do with the driving offence.
I said, my ex-wife taking - It's got nothing to do with the driving offence.
They're alleging you misappropriated client funds.
What? They're alleging you misappropriated client funds.
What? They're alleging you misappropriated client funds.
What? Oh, it's ridiculous.
Oh, it's ridiculous.
Oh, it's ridiculous.
So, they know nothing about the speeding points? Will you please stop mentioning that.
So, they know nothing about the speeding points? Will you please stop mentioning that.
This will be easy.
It's important at this stage you say absolutely nothing.
This will be easy.
It's important at this stage you say absolutely nothing.
This will be easy.
It's important at this stage you say absolutely nothing.
But I'm innocent.
Nothing.
We don't know what they've got.
We don't want to give them anything.
But I'm innocent.
Nothing.
We don't know what they've got.
We don't want to give them anything.
But I'm innocent.
Nothing.
We don't know what they've got.
We don't want to give them anything.
But I'm innocent.
Nothing.
We don't know what they've got.
We don't want to give them anything.
We're ready for you now, ma'am.
We're ready for you now, ma'am.
We're ready for you now, ma'am.
I'm sorry.
We're running late.
The doctor seems to be giving patients the time of day.
Socialists! I'm sorry.
We're running late.
The doctor seems to be giving patients the time of day.
Socialists! I'm sorry.
We're running late.
The doctor seems to be giving patients the time of day.
Socialists! I'm sorry.
We're running late.
The doctor seems to be giving patients the time of day.
Socialists! Karen, it's OK.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Bye.
Karen, it's OK.
I'll be there as soon as I can.
Bye.
(BEEP) Look, that's you.
(BEEP) Look, that's you.
(BEEP) Look, that's you.
(BEEP) Will you come in with me? Yeah, of course.
Will you come in with me? Yeah, of course.
Go on.
Go on.
Ange, tell Matt to turn the music down.
Ange, tell Matt to turn the music down.
Ange, tell Matt to turn the music down.
Well, tell him again.
Tell him louder.
Well, tell him again.
Tell him louder.
I'm picking up his prescription, then I'll drop him home.
Then I just need to go to Karen's.
I'm picking up his prescription, then I'll drop him home.
Then I just need to go to Karen's.
I'm picking up his prescription, then I'll drop him home.
Then I just need to go to Karen's.
I'm picking up his prescription, then I'll drop him home.
Then I just need to go to Karen's.
Half an hour tops.
No more than that.
OK, bye.
Half an hour tops.
No more than that.
OK, bye.
Half an hour tops.
No more than that.
OK, bye.
Come on.
In you pop.
Come on.
In you pop.
Come on.
Come on.
Oh, sorry I took so long.
Have youhanded yourself in yet? Oh, sorry I took so long.
Have youhanded yourself in yet? I've asked to speak to his arresting officer.
They said I have to wait.
I've asked to speak to his arresting officer.
They said I have to wait.
I've asked to speak to his arresting officer.
They said I have to wait.
Oh.
Oh.
Guys, you've come to get me! No.
She's, er, come to confess.
Confess? What to? Taking your points.
Oh, God! Guys, you've come to get me! No.
She's, er, come to confess.
Confess? What to? Taking your points.
Oh, God! Guys, you've come to get me! No.
She's, er, come to confess.
Confess? What to? Taking your points.
Oh, God! Guys, you've come to get me! No.
She's, er, come to confess.
Confess? What to? Taking your points.
Oh, God! They know nothing about that.
Come on.
Let's go.
What is this about, then? They know nothing about that.
Come on.
Let's go.
What is this about, then? They know nothing about that.
Come on.
Let's go.
What is this about, then? They know nothing about that.
Come on.
Let's go.
What is this about, then? Oh, it's nonsense.
They're alleging I'm part of some property fraud in China.
Oh, it's nonsense.
They're alleging I'm part of some property fraud in China.
Oh, it's nonsense.
They're alleging I'm part of some property fraud in China.
What? Have you even been to China? What? Have you even been to China? Hong Kong, for the Sevens.
But not Pudong, where these apartments were.
Hong Kong, for the Sevens.
But not Pudong, where these apartments were.
Hong Kong, for the Sevens.
But not Pudong, where these apartments were.
Or rather, weren't.
They were never built.
Or rather, weren't.
They were never built.
Developer took the money and ran.
Why do the police think you're involved? Developer took the money and ran.
Why do the police think you're involved? Developer took the money and ran.
Why do the police think you're involved? Developer took the money and ran.
Why do the police think you're involved? I did invest some of my clients' money in the scheme, but - Without seeing the apartments? I did invest some of my clients' money in the scheme, but - Without seeing the apartments? I did invest some of my clients' money in the scheme, but - Without seeing the apartments? How could I? They weren't built.
But the prospectus was very convincing.
You know, an artist's impression.
How could I? They weren't built.
But the prospectus was very convincing.
You know, an artist's impression.
How could I? They weren't built.
But the prospectus was very convincing.
You know, an artist's impression.
How could I? They weren't built.
But the prospectus was very convincing.
You know, an artist's impression.
How could I? They weren't built.
But the prospectus was very convincing.
You know, an artist's impression.
Was that usual in your game? Investing thousands on the basis of a drawing? Was that usual in your game? Investing thousands on the basis of a drawing? It was a couple of mil, actually.
The company It looked kosher.
It was a couple of mil, actually.
The company It looked kosher.
It was a couple of mil, actually.
The company It looked kosher.
You know, it was registered in the Cayman Islands You know, it was registered in the Cayman Islands You know, it was registered in the Cayman Islands Why do the police you were in on it? God knows.
They're not giving much away.
That's a tactic.
Why do the police you were in on it? God knows.
They're not giving much away.
That's a tactic.
Why do the police you were in on it? God knows.
They're not giving much away.
That's a tactic.
Why do the police you were in on it? God knows.
They're not giving much away.
That's a tactic.
They want you to do the talking.
I think it's because they haven't a bloody clue what they're on about.
They want you to do the talking.
I think it's because they haven't a bloody clue what they're on about.
They want you to do the talking.
I think it's because they haven't a bloody clue what they're on about.
They want you to do the talking.
I think it's because they haven't a bloody clue what they're on about.
I've always stayed within the law.
I've always stayed within the law.
I've always stayed within the law.
But since the financial crash, regulation has become Byzantine beyond belief.
But since the financial crash, regulation has become Byzantine beyond belief.
But since the financial crash, regulation has become Byzantine beyond belief.
But since the financial crash, regulation has become Byzantine beyond belief.
Why don't you explain it to them, then? I had to follow my solicitor's advice.
Which was? Why don't you explain it to them, then? I had to follow my solicitor's advice.
Which was? Why don't you explain it to them, then? I had to follow my solicitor's advice.
Which was? Why don't you explain it to them, then? I had to follow my solicitor's advice.
Which was? No comment.
What, you can't tell us? No.
That was the advice.
No comment.
What, you can't tell us? No.
That was the advice.
No comment.
What, you can't tell us? No.
That was the advice.
So, you work for Trust Finance Management do you, Mr Marsden? In what capacity? So, you work for Trust Finance Management do you, Mr Marsden? In what capacity? So, you work for Trust Finance Management do you, Mr Marsden? In what capacity? No comment.
I'm only after your job title.
No comment.
I'm only after your job title.
No comment.
Well, I've got it here.
No comment.
Well, I've got it here.
Director Of Client Relations.
Development.
Director Of Client Development.
Director Of Client Relations.
Development.
Director Of Client Development.
David.
May I remind you of my earlier advice? It's only my job title.
David.
May I remind you of my earlier advice? It's only my job title.
David.
May I remind you of my earlier advice? It's only my job title.
David.
May I remind you of my earlier advice? It's only my job title.
If they can't get that right, no wonder they're barking up the wrong tree.
If they can't get that right, no wonder they're barking up the wrong tree.
I haven't done anything.
David! And what exactly do you do as Director Of Client Development? I haven't done anything.
David! And what exactly do you do as Director Of Client Development? I haven't done anything.
David! And what exactly do you do as Director Of Client Development? I haven't done anything.
David! And what exactly do you do as Director Of Client Development? No comment.
KAREN: Well, that just makes you look guilty.
I know, but when the advice is costing £300 an hour, KAREN: Well, that just makes you look guilty.
I know, but when the advice is costing £300 an hour, KAREN: Well, that just makes you look guilty.
I know, but when the advice is costing £300 an hour, KAREN: Well, that just makes you look guilty.
I know, but when the advice is costing £300 an hour, you presume it's worth taking.
What? £300 an hour? you presume it's worth taking.
What? £300 an hour? you presume it's worth taking.
What? £300 an hour? Worth it to be released without charge.
On police bail pending further enquiries.
Worth it to be released without charge.
On police bail pending further enquiries.
Worth it to be released without charge.
On police bail pending further enquiries.
Worth it to be released without charge.
On police bail pending further enquiries.
Which at least will clear the whole thing up.
Which at least will clear the whole thing up.
(RINGTONE) You get that.
I've got enough points on my licence! (RINGTONE) You get that.
I've got enough points on my licence! (RINGTONE) You get that.
I've got enough points on my licence! Eddie, it's David.
Marsden.
Karen's ex.
Yeah, hi.
Marsden.
Karen's ex.
Yeah, hi.
Marsden.
Karen's ex.
Yeah, hi.
No, I'm with her at the moment, but she's driving.
Can I pass on a message? No, I'm with her at the moment, but she's driving.
Can I pass on a message? No, I'm with her at the moment, but she's driving.
Can I pass on a message? Dinner? Yeah, I'm sure she'd love to.
When did you have in mind? (WHISPERS) David! Dinner? Yeah, I'm sure she'd love to.
When did you have in mind? (WHISPERS) David! Dinner? Yeah, I'm sure she'd love to.
When did you have in mind? (WHISPERS) David! Dinner? Yeah, I'm sure she'd love to.
When did you have in mind? (WHISPERS) David! I'll get her to call you back.
I'll get her to call you back.
I'll get her to call you back.
What are you doing now? The police confiscated my phone, with all my contacts.
What are you doing now? The police confiscated my phone, with all my contacts.
What are you doing now? The police confiscated my phone, with all my contacts.
At least I still have Eddie's.
At least I still have Eddie's.
JENNY: No problem.
I'll get it seen to.
OK.
JENNY: No problem.
I'll get it seen to.
OK.
Condom machine in the gents is empty.
It's not even lunchtime.
Randy buggers! Condom machine in the gents is empty.
It's not even lunchtime.
Randy buggers! Condom machine in the gents is empty.
It's not even lunchtime.
Randy buggers! Oh! You're back.
Oh! You're back.
Don't tell me.
Free coffee.
That's not worth a detour! I came to see you.
Don't tell me.
Free coffee.
That's not worth a detour! I came to see you.
Don't tell me.
Free coffee.
That's not worth a detour! I came to see you.
Don't tell me.
Free coffee.
That's not worth a detour! I came to see you.
Fancy playing make-believe? No.
Fancy playing make-believe? No.
Not today.
Or ever ever after.
Not today.
Or ever ever after.
I like a sense of humour on a woman.
What time are you free? I'm not.
I like a sense of humour on a woman.
What time are you free? I'm not.
I like a sense of humour on a woman.
What time are you free? I'm not.
You must have lunch.
You must have lunch.
You must have lunch.
I'm dieting.
I don't mind waiting.
I'm dieting.
I don't mind waiting.
I'm dieting.
I don't mind waiting.
We had fun together.
Don't pretend we didn't.
We had fun together.
Don't pretend we didn't.
We had fun together.
Don't pretend we didn't.
Look, I made a mistake.
OK? Look, I made a mistake.
OK? Look, I made a mistake.
OK? You're clearly not in a happy marriage.
Nor am I.
You're clearly not in a happy marriage.
Nor am I.
You're clearly not in a happy marriage.
Nor am I.
You're clearly not in a happy marriage.
Nor am I.
My marriage is just fine.
My marriage is just fine.
Now please, leave me alone.
(PHONE RINGING FAINTLY) Now please, leave me alone.
(PHONE RINGING FAINTLY) Now please, leave me alone.
(PHONE RINGING FAINTLY) Finally! You're home.
You might have given me some warning.
Finally! You're home.
You might have given me some warning.
Sorry, it's been one thing after another.
Sorry, it's been one thing after another.
Sorry, it's been one thing after another.
I mean about Matt.
He stayed in bed until eleven.
I mean about Matt.
He stayed in bed until eleven.
I mean about Matt.
He stayed in bed until eleven.
And only got up then cos I told him to.
He's not at his best first thing.
So I discovered.
And only got up then cos I told him to.
He's not at his best first thing.
So I discovered.
And only got up then cos I told him to.
He's not at his best first thing.
So I discovered.
And only got up then cos I told him to.
He's not at his best first thing.
So I discovered.
Morning.
(GRUNTS) Just.
Morning.
(GRUNTS) Just.
Morning.
(GRUNTS) Just.
Putting a wash in.
Have you got anything? Putting a wash in.
Have you got anything? (SOUND OF PEEING AND BREAKING WIND) (SIGHS) (SOUND OF PEEING AND BREAKING WIND) (SIGHS) He takes no account of other people.
You turn your back, the place is a pigsty.
He takes no account of other people.
You turn your back, the place is a pigsty.
He takes no account of other people.
You turn your back, the place is a pigsty.
It's like there's this creature in the flat that's a cross between a sloth, a skunk and a cyclone.
It's like there's this creature in the flat that's a cross between a sloth, a skunk and a cyclone.
It's like there's this creature in the flat that's a cross between a sloth, a skunk and a cyclone.
It's like there's this creature in the flat that's a cross between a sloth, a skunk and a cyclone.
I forget you don't have experience of teenage boys.
The smell in his room! Welcome to life asa stepmum.
I forget you don't have experience of teenage boys.
The smell in his room! Welcome to life asa stepmum.
I forget you don't have experience of teenage boys.
The smell in his room! Welcome to life asa stepmum.
I forget you don't have experience of teenage boys.
The smell in his room! Welcome to life asa stepmum.
Ah, don't worry.
You'll get the hang of it.
Learn from the master.
Ah, don't worry.
You'll get the hang of it.
Learn from the master.
Ah, don't worry.
You'll get the hang of it.
Learn from the master.
(CLEARS THROAT) Oh, all right, wee man.
(CLEARS THROAT) Oh, all right, wee man.
How's it hanging.
Quick word? You and Ellie.
How's it hanging.
Quick word? You and Ellie.
How's it hanging.
Quick word? You and Ellie.
Don't need to talk about that.
I think we do.
Don't need to talk about that.
I think we do.
Don't need to talk about that.
I think we do.
We were careful, if that's what you're worried about.
That and other things.
We were careful, if that's what you're worried about.
That and other things.
We were careful, if that's what you're worried about.
That and other things.
I'm not comfortable with this.
I'm not comfortable with this.
I'm not comfortable with this.
Matt, sit down.
It's fine, really.
There's nothing to say.
Matthew! Sorry.
Matt, sit down.
It's fine, really.
There's nothing to say.
Matthew! Sorry.
Matt, sit down.
It's fine, really.
There's nothing to say.
Matthew! Sorry.
Learn from the master (!) Learn from the master (!) Learn from the master (!) Hiya.
(DOOR CLICKS SHUT) Hiya.
(DOOR CLICKS SHUT) Hi.
I wasn't sure I'd see you.
Hi.
I wasn't sure I'd see you.
I was held for questioning, darling, not sent to Alcatraz! I meant, before I left.
I was held for questioning, darling, not sent to Alcatraz! I meant, before I left.
I was held for questioning, darling, not sent to Alcatraz! I meant, before I left.
I was held for questioning, darling, not sent to Alcatraz! I meant, before I left.
Where are you going? The police were here all morning collecting evidence.
Where are you going? The police were here all morning collecting evidence.
Where are you going? The police were here all morning collecting evidence.
Where are you going? The police were here all morning collecting evidence.
The neighbours had a field day watching them traipse in and out.
The neighbours had a field day watching them traipse in and out.
The neighbours had a field day watching them traipse in and out.
Rosemary Lambert even offered them tea and biscuits.
Rosemary Lambert even offered them tea and biscuits.
Rosemary Lambert even offered them tea and biscuits.
It was humiliating, David.
Why? Didn't you have any in? It was humiliating, David.
Why? Didn't you have any in? It was humiliating, David.
Why? Didn't you have any in? I'm going away for a few days to escape the neighbours' looks.
I'm going away for a few days to escape the neighbours' looks.
Their censure is bad enough.
Their pity, I really can't stomach.
Their censure is bad enough.
Their pity, I really can't stomach.
Their censure is bad enough.
Their pity, I really can't stomach.
Their censure is bad enough.
Their pity, I really can't stomach.
I'll be back when I'm ready to hear what you've got to say for yourself.
Justtell me one thing,would you? I'll be back when I'm ready to hear what you've got to say for yourself.
Justtell me one thing,would you? I'll be back when I'm ready to hear what you've got to say for yourself.
Justtell me one thing,would you? I'll be back when I'm ready to hear what you've got to say for yourself.
Justtell me one thing,would you? There's nothing sexual about all of this, is there? God, no! There's nothing sexual about all of this, is there? God, no! For that, at least, I suppose I should be grateful.
For that, at least, I suppose I should be grateful.
Don't forget the bins.
Don't forget the bins.
Don't forget the bins.
It says you shouldn't take them with alcohol.
Love, I'm depressed.
It says you shouldn't take them with alcohol.
Love, I'm depressed.
It says you shouldn't take them with alcohol.
Love, I'm depressed.
If you stop me drinking beer, I'll be suicidal.
I'm not taking those, anyway.
If you stop me drinking beer, I'll be suicidal.
I'm not taking those, anyway.
If you stop me drinking beer, I'll be suicidal.
I'm not taking those, anyway.
Why not? They're meant to make you feel better.
They won't cure meof being 48.
Why not? They're meant to make you feel better.
They won't cure meof being 48.
Why not? They're meant to make you feel better.
They won't cure meof being 48.
Why not? They're meant to make you feel better.
They won't cure meof being 48.
Why not? They're meant to make you feel better.
They won't cure meof being 48.
Earning minimum wage, with two shit jobs.
Earning minimum wage, with two shit jobs.
Earning minimum wage, with two shit jobs.
Thatis what's wrong with me.
Yeah, why would you listen to your GP? Eh? Thatis what's wrong with me.
Yeah, why would you listen to your GP? Eh? Thatis what's wrong with me.
Yeah, why would you listen to your GP? Eh? Thatis what's wrong with me.
Yeah, why would you listen to your GP? Eh? Oh, there's the ten years of training, I suppose.
Oh, there's the ten years of training, I suppose.
Oh, there's the ten years of training, I suppose.
OK.
Look.
Take them for me.
Take 'em for us.
OK.
Look.
Take them for me.
Take 'em for us.
OK.
Look.
Take them for me.
Take 'em for us.
What's for tea? What's for tea? What's for tea? I'm so sorry.
I've not done it.
Kids, can you come and sit down, please? No! I'm so sorry.
I've not done it.
Kids, can you come and sit down, please? No! I'm so sorry.
I've not done it.
Kids, can you come and sit down, please? No! There's no shame in it.
They need to know.
There's no shame in it.
They need to know.
OK.
So We need to take care of your dad.
You know, be gentle with him and OK.
So We need to take care of your dad.
You know, be gentle with him and OK.
So We need to take care of your dad.
You know, be gentle with him and There's nothing to worry about, but he is suffering from depression.
There's nothing to worry about, but he is suffering from depression.
There's nothing to worry about, but he is suffering from depression.
What does that mean? What does that mean? What does that mean? Pete? Pete? Basically, love, it means I'm miserable.
Basically, love, it means I'm miserable.
Basically, love, it means I'm miserable.
At your age, who wouldn't be?! (CHUCKLES) At your age, who wouldn't be?! (CHUCKLES) That's not gonna help, is it, love.
Are you gonna be all right? That's not gonna help, is it, love.
Are you gonna be all right? That's not gonna help, is it, love.
Are you gonna be all right? Yes.
I'm gonna be fine, sweetheart.
Yes.
I'm gonna be fine, sweetheart.
(PILLS RATTLE) Doctor's given me these pills.
(PILLS RATTLE) Doctor's given me these pills.
(PILLS RATTLE) Doctor's given me these pills.
OK.
Everyone happy with omelettes? OK.
Everyone happy with omelettes? (MOUTHS) David.
Heard you'd come in.
Why wouldn't I, Roger? David.
Heard you'd come in.
Why wouldn't I, Roger? The police were here yesterday.
The police were here yesterday.
The police were here yesterday.
(KNOCKS) Excuse the interruption, but you said was urgent.
Just need your signature.
Thanks, Georgia.
(KNOCKS) Excuse the interruption, but you said was urgent.
Just need your signature.
Thanks, Georgia.
(KNOCKS) Excuse the interruption, but you said was urgent.
Just need your signature.
Thanks, Georgia.
(KNOCKS) Excuse the interruption, but you said was urgent.
Just need your signature.
Thanks, Georgia.
Would you get me a coffee? Roger? Nothing for me.
Nor for David.
Would you get me a coffee? Roger? Nothing for me.
Nor for David.
Would you get me a coffee? Roger? Nothing for me.
Nor for David.
You're due a lot of holiday.
This might be the time to take it.
You're due a lot of holiday.
This might be the time to take it.
I'm working on landing Eddie Zubayr.
I think I'm getting close.
I'm working on landing Eddie Zubayr.
I think I'm getting close.
I'm working on landing Eddie Zubayr.
I think I'm getting close.
Work on it from home.
Look, you know I've done nothing wrong.
Work on it from home.
Look, you know I've done nothing wrong.
Work on it from home.
Look, you know I've done nothing wrong.
Work on it from home.
Look, you know I've done nothing wrong.
I've been instructed not to discuss your case.
Instructed? You're the chairman! I've been instructed not to discuss your case.
Instructed? You're the chairman! I've been instructed not to discuss your case.
Instructed? You're the chairman! Legal advice.
You know how it is.
Legal advice.
You know how it is.
Legal advice.
You know how it is.
I can tell you this much.
You have the full support of the board.
I can tell you this much.
You have the full support of the board.
I can tell you this much.
You have the full support of the board.
Well, I'm glad I'm not a football manager.
Plods got a hard-on for the City.
Well, I'm glad I'm not a football manager.
Plods got a hard-on for the City.
Well, I'm glad I'm not a football manager.
Plods got a hard-on for the City.
Next month, they'll persecute someone else.
Migrants, hopefully.
Till then, lie low.
Next month, they'll persecute someone else.
Migrants, hopefully.
Till then, lie low.
Next month, they'll persecute someone else.
Migrants, hopefully.
Till then, lie low.
Enjoy your holiday.
Oh, and er Leave your laptop and your car keys.
Enjoy your holiday.
Oh, and er Leave your laptop and your car keys.
Enjoy your holiday.
Oh, and er Leave your laptop and your car keys.
Enjoy your holiday.
Oh, and er Leave your laptop and your car keys.
You won't be needing them till this is sorted.
You won't be needing them till this is sorted.
You won't be needing them till this is sorted.
It's not your fault, lad.
They'd have found some other excuse to shove me in here.
It's not your fault, lad.
They'd have found some other excuse to shove me in here.
It's not your fault, lad.
They'd have found some other excuse to shove me in here.
Well, maybe when you're fully fit you can go back home.
They're selling my place.
They have to.
Well, maybe when you're fully fit you can go back home.
They're selling my place.
They have to.
Well, maybe when you're fully fit you can go back home.
They're selling my place.
They have to.
Well, maybe when you're fully fit you can go back home.
They're selling my place.
They have to.
The fees.
Suits them, of course.
It's not that bad, Harry.
It's nice andwarm.
The fees.
Suits them, of course.
It's not that bad, Harry.
It's nice andwarm.
The fees.
Suits them, of course.
It's not that bad, Harry.
It's nice andwarm.
The fees.
Suits them, of course.
It's not that bad, Harry.
It's nice andwarm.
The fees.
Suits them, of course.
It's not that bad, Harry.
It's nice andwarm.
You know, you might find you get used to it.
Institutionalised, youmean.
You know, you might find you get used to it.
Institutionalised, youmean.
You know, you might find you get used to it.
Institutionalised, youmean.
You know, you might find you get used to it.
Institutionalised, youmean.
They say it takes a month.
After that, you lose all hope.
Oh, Harry, please.
They say it takes a month.
After that, you lose all hope.
Oh, Harry, please.
They say it takes a month.
After that, you lose all hope.
Oh, Harry, please.
They say it takes a month.
After that, you lose all hope.
Oh, Harry, please.
I'm already on antidepressants.
I don't want to have to up the dose.
I'm already on antidepressants.
I don't want to have to up the dose.
I'm already on antidepressants.
I don't want to have to up the dose.
And the drugs! They could fund the NHS if they stopped feeding pills to the over-80s.
And the drugs! They could fund the NHS if they stopped feeding pills to the over-80s.
And the drugs! They could fund the NHS if they stopped feeding pills to the over-80s.
And the drugs! They could fund the NHS if they stopped feeding pills to the over-80s.
What are they keeping this lot alive for? Mm, you have to wonder.
What are they keeping this lot alive for? Mm, you have to wonder.
What are they keeping this lot alive for? Mm, you have to wonder.
What are they keeping this lot alive for? Mm, you have to wonder.
(BELL RINGS) Oh, off they go.
Pavlov's dogs.
Oh, off they go.
Pavlov's dogs.
Oh, off they go.
Pavlov's dogs.
You staying for tea? No, I wouldn't put you through that.
You staying for tea? No, I wouldn't put you through that.
You staying for tea? No, I wouldn't put you through that.
Go on.
Bugger off.
Live your lives.
Go on.
Bugger off.
Live your lives.
Harry, I'll visit you soon.
I don't want you to feel you have to.
Harry, I'll visit you soon.
I don't want you to feel you have to.
And pretty soon, you will.
And pretty soon, you will.
And pretty soon, you will.
I don't want you to come again.
I don't want you to come again.
I don't want you to come again.
How's Pete? Depressing.
Don't you mean depressed? That too.
How's Pete? Depressing.
Don't you mean depressed? That too.
How's Pete? Depressing.
Don't you mean depressed? That too.
I know he's struggling but, God, he's hard to live with.
I know he's struggling but, God, he's hard to live with.
I know he's struggling but, God, he's hard to live with.
I'm gonna make myself a coffee.
Do you want anything? I'm gonna make myself a coffee.
Do you want anything? I'm gonna make myself a coffee.
Do you want anything? (TV IN BACKGROUND) 'Do I want coffee? Do I want coffee? That should be an easy decision.
(TV IN BACKGROUND) 'Do I want coffee? Do I want coffee? That should be an easy decision.
(TV IN BACKGROUND) 'Do I want coffee? Do I want coffee? That should be an easy decision.
(TV IN BACKGROUND) 'Do I want coffee? Do I want coffee? That should be an easy decision.
(TV IN BACKGROUND) 'Do I want coffee? Do I want coffee? That should be an easy decision.
But then I think, well, do I want tea? And then it's, what kind of tea?' But then I think, well, do I want tea? And then it's, what kind of tea?' But then I think, well, do I want tea? And then it's, what kind of tea?' But then I think, well, do I want tea? And then it's, what kind of tea?' You know, builder's, Earl Grey, chamomile? Not chamomile.
You know, builder's, Earl Grey, chamomile? Not chamomile.
You know, builder's, Earl Grey, chamomile? Not chamomile.
(SIGHS) I just get so overwhelmed andI can't decide.
(SIGHS) I just get so overwhelmed andI can't decide.
(SIGHS) I just get so overwhelmed andI can't decide.
(SIGHS) I just get so overwhelmed andI can't decide.
Right.
I'll make you one.
It's up to you if you drink it.
Right.
I'll make you one.
It's up to you if you drink it.
And then I feel bad for snapping at him, cos it's not his fault.
And then I feel bad for snapping at him, cos it's not his fault.
And then I feel bad for snapping at him, cos it's not his fault.
And then I feel bad for snapping at him, cos it's not his fault.
But you'd have to be a saint, honestly.
But you'd have to be a saint, honestly.
Is it your clarinet exam on Tuesday? Yes.
OK.
Is it your clarinet exam on Tuesday? Yes.
OK.
Is it your clarinet exam on Tuesday? Yes.
OK.
I mean, he keeps getting under my feet.
I mean, he keeps getting under my feet.
Following me around.
I don't think he likes being on his own.
Following me around.
I don't think he likes being on his own.
Following me around.
I don't think he likes being on his own.
Neither, it seems, does David.
Neither, it seems, does David.
While this thing with the police is going on, he's not welcome round the office, so instead, he'sround here.
While this thing with the police is going on, he's not welcome round the office, so instead, he'sround here.
While this thing with the police is going on, he's not welcome round the office, so instead, he'sround here.
While this thing with the police is going on, he's not welcome round the office, so instead, he'sround here.
Is there only one cycle path in Manchester? How d'you mean? Is there only one cycle path in Manchester? How d'you mean? Well, this is the third time you've been just passing in your cycle gear.
Well, this is the third time you've been just passing in your cycle gear.
Well, this is the third time you've been just passing in your cycle gear.
Well, this is the third time you've been just passing in your cycle gear.
Well, I'm not very good at enforced holidays and Robyn's away at a conference, Well, I'm not very good at enforced holidays and Robyn's away at a conference, Well, I'm not very good at enforced holidays and Robyn's away at a conference, Well, I'm not very good at enforced holidays and Robyn's away at a conference, so, I just wondered if you might fancy a coffee.
so, I just wondered if you might fancy a coffee.
so, I just wondered if you might fancy a coffee.
Come on.
You haven't seen Eddie, by any chance.
Come on.
You haven't seen Eddie, by any chance.
He isn't returning my calls.
You know, if you're at a loose end, you could always to something useful.
He isn't returning my calls.
You know, if you're at a loose end, you could always to something useful.
He isn't returning my calls.
You know, if you're at a loose end, you could always to something useful.
He isn't returning my calls.
You know, if you're at a loose end, you could always to something useful.
What? Like voluntary work? Well, that would be useful.
Yes.
What? Like voluntary work? Well, that would be useful.
Yes.
What? Like voluntary work? Well, that would be useful.
Yes.
What? Like voluntary work? Well, that would be useful.
Yes.
More than your day job.
(WATER POURS) More than your day job.
(WATER POURS) I was actually thinking about Pete.
You know he's been signed off work.
I was actually thinking about Pete.
You know he's been signed off work.
I was actually thinking about Pete.
You know he's been signed off work.
Hm? Oh, yeah.
His depression.
Hm? Oh, yeah.
His depression.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know you've had other things on your mind.
He's probably rattling around at home.
It's not good.
I know you've had other things on your mind.
He's probably rattling around at home.
It's not good.
I know you've had other things on your mind.
He's probably rattling around at home.
It's not good.
I know you've had other things on your mind.
He's probably rattling around at home.
It's not good.
He needs to get out and about.
Exactly.
Tell you what.
I'll take him down the pub, withAdam.
He needs to get out and about.
Exactly.
Tell you what.
I'll take him down the pub, withAdam.
He needs to get out and about.
Exactly.
Tell you what.
I'll take him down the pub, withAdam.
He needs to get out and about.
Exactly.
Tell you what.
I'll take him down the pub, withAdam.
You know, The Three - Amigos, yes I heard.
And I'm not sure that booze is the answer.
You know, The Three - Amigos, yes I heard.
And I'm not sure that booze is the answer.
You know, The Three - Amigos, yes I heard.
And I'm not sure that booze is the answer.
You know, The Three - Amigos, yes I heard.
And I'm not sure that booze is the answer.
No, it's more often the problem.
No, leave it to me.
I shall make it my mission to cheer Pete up.
No, it's more often the problem.
No, leave it to me.
I shall make it my mission to cheer Pete up.
No, it's more often the problem.
No, leave it to me.
I shall make it my mission to cheer Pete up.
No, it's more often the problem.
No, leave it to me.
I shall make it my mission to cheer Pete up.
That might be asking too much, especially in David's hands.
That might be asking too much, especially in David's hands.
That might be asking too much, especially in David's hands.
So, have you seen Eddie? Yeah, yeah.
We had dinner last night.
So, have you seen Eddie? Yeah, yeah.
We had dinner last night.
So, have you seen Eddie? Yeah, yeah.
We had dinner last night.
So, have you seen Eddie? Yeah, yeah.
We had dinner last night.
David may well have done nothing wrong.
David may well have done nothing wrong.
But while he's under investigation I cannot have anything to do with him.
But while he's under investigation I cannot have anything to do with him.
But while he's under investigation I cannot have anything to do with him.
Guilt by association to an innocent man.
Guilt by association to an innocent man.
I would offer you a job if it wasn't for my golden rule.
What's that? I would offer you a job if it wasn't for my golden rule.
What's that? I would offer you a job if it wasn't for my golden rule.
What's that? Don't employ women over the age of 45? It seems to be the case with most firms.
Don't employ women over the age of 45? It seems to be the case with most firms.
Don't employ women over the age of 45? It seems to be the case with most firms.
Don't employ women over the age of 45? It seems to be the case with most firms.
Don't employ women I find myself attracted to.
Don't employ women I find myself attracted to.
Don't employ women I find myself attracted to.
(JENNY CHUCKLES) Oh, my God! (JENNY CHUCKLES) Oh, my God! Oh, yes.
(SINGS) Karen and Eddie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I- Stop.
We're just friends.
Oh, yes.
(SINGS) Karen and Eddie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I- Stop.
We're just friends.
Oh, yes.
(SINGS) Karen and Eddie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I- Stop.
We're just friends.
Oh, yes.
(SINGS) Karen and Eddie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I- Stop.
We're just friends.
Oh, yes.
(SINGS) Karen and Eddie, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I- Stop.
We're just friends.
We like having dinner together.
Listen, he dines with world leaders.
We like having dinner together.
Listen, he dines with world leaders.
If he invites you for a balti, then I think he's hoping for a dessert, Karen.
If he invites you for a balti, then I think he's hoping for a dessert, Karen.
If he invites you for a balti, then I think he's hoping for a dessert, Karen.
If he invites you for a balti, then I think he's hoping for a dessert, Karen.
I had a dream about him the other night.
See! I had a dream about him the other night.
See! I had a dream about him the other night.
See! You DO fancy him.
Not really.
No.
That's what's weird.
You DO fancy him.
Not really.
No.
That's what's weird.
You DO fancy him.
Not really.
No.
That's what's weird.
Well, your subconscious does.
Well, your subconscious does.
Well, your subconscious does.
Yeah, well, it's not my subconscious that I have to get naked, is it.
Yeah, well, it's not my subconscious that I have to get naked, is it.
Yeah, well, it's not my subconscious that I have to get naked, is it.
Four years since I slept with a man, Jen.
And in that time I have not got any younger.
Four years since I slept with a man, Jen.
And in that time I have not got any younger.
Four years since I slept with a man, Jen.
And in that time I have not got any younger.
Four years since I slept with a man, Jen.
And in that time I have not got any younger.
Aw, come on.
You can't be nervous, you're gorgeous.
Anyway, he's 60 if he's a day.
Aw, come on.
You can't be nervous, you're gorgeous.
Anyway, he's 60 if he's a day.
Aw, come on.
You can't be nervous, you're gorgeous.
Anyway, he's 60 if he's a day.
Aw, come on.
You can't be nervous, you're gorgeous.
Anyway, he's 60 if he's a day.
Well preserved, though.
Well preserved, though.
Well preserved, though.
Does a lot of yoga.
Perhaps I'd rather keep him as a friend.
Does a lot of yoga.
Perhaps I'd rather keep him as a friend.
Does a lot of yoga.
Perhaps I'd rather keep him as a friend.
Does a lot of yoga.
Perhaps I'd rather keep him as a friend.
Well, not if your dream is to be believed (PHONE BEEPS) .
.
sexy lady! Well, not if your dream is to be believed (PHONE BEEPS) .
.
sexy lady! Oh, listen.
I've got to go.
Call waiting.
OK.
My advice, jump him now, overthink it later.
Oh, listen.
I've got to go.
Call waiting.
OK.
My advice, jump him now, overthink it later.
Oh, listen.
I've got to go.
Call waiting.
OK.
My advice, jump him now, overthink it later.
Oh, listen.
I've got to go.
Call waiting.
OK.
My advice, jump him now, overthink it later.
Oh, listen.
I've got to go.
Call waiting.
OK.
My advice, jump him now, overthink it later.
'Bye.
' (BEEP) Hello? 'The Chief Constable's cancelled all leave.
You're needed on duty now.
' Sorry, who's this? 'The Chief Constable's cancelled all leave.
You're needed on duty now.
' Sorry, who's this? 'The Chief Constable's cancelled all leave.
You're needed on duty now.
' Sorry, who's this? 'The Chief Constable's cancelled all leave.
You're needed on duty now.
' Sorry, who's this? It's Trevor.
You wanna have a word with your colleague.
She gave me your mobile number, no questions.
It's Trevor.
You wanna have a word with your colleague.
She gave me your mobile number, no questions.
It's Trevor.
You wanna have a word with your colleague.
She gave me your mobile number, no questions.
It's Trevor.
You wanna have a word with your colleague.
She gave me your mobile number, no questions.
Mary, I'm just gonna take this somewhere quieter, OK? Mary, I'm just gonna take this somewhere quieter, OK? Mary, I'm just gonna take this somewhere quieter, OK? (DOOR CLICKS SHUT) Listen, I want nothing to do with you.
Do you understand? (DOOR CLICKS SHUT) Listen, I want nothing to do with you.
Do you understand? (DOOR CLICKS SHUT) Listen, I want nothing to do with you.
Do you understand? And if you call me again, I'm gonna stick the real police onto you.
(BEEP) And if you call me again, I'm gonna stick the real police onto you.
(BEEP) And if you call me again, I'm gonna stick the real police onto you.
(BEEP) (HACKING COUGH) (HACKING COUGH) I said I didn't want to see you again.
Well, I took that for your ready wit.
I said I didn't want to see you again.
Well, I took that for your ready wit.
I said I didn't want to see you again.
Well, I took that for your ready wit.
And I rang your daughter, to see how you were doing.
And she said, not so good.
And I rang your daughter, to see how you were doing.
And she said, not so good.
And I rang your daughter, to see how you were doing.
And she said, not so good.
And I rang your daughter, to see how you were doing.
And she said, not so good.
No.
I'm still alive.
Still, there's a bug doing the rounds.
I'm hoping I've caught it.
No.
I'm still alive.
Still, there's a bug doing the rounds.
I'm hoping I've caught it.
No.
I'm still alive.
Still, there's a bug doing the rounds.
I'm hoping I've caught it.
No.
I'm still alive.
Still, there's a bug doing the rounds.
I'm hoping I've caught it.
No.
I'm still alive.
Still, there's a bug doing the rounds.
I'm hoping I've caught it.
You'll be right as rain in no time! You'll be right as rain in no time! You'll be right as rain in no time! And that's the other thing.
They say I'm going to need a hip replacement.
And that's the other thing.
They say I'm going to need a hip replacement.
And that's the other thing.
They say I'm going to need a hip replacement.
It showed up in them X-rays after my fall.
It showed up in them X-rays after my fall.
It showed up in them X-rays after my fall.
(SIGHS) I wish we'd never invited you out.
(SIGHS) I wish we'd never invited you out.
Son, d'you know how much fun I've had in the last five years? (COUGHS WEAKLY) Son, d'you know how much fun I've had in the last five years? (COUGHS WEAKLY) Son, d'you know how much fun I've had in the last five years? (COUGHS WEAKLY) Son, d'you know how much fun I've had in the last five years? (COUGHS WEAKLY) Son, d'you know how much fun I've had in the last five years? (COUGHS WEAKLY) That game was it.
That game was it.
Well, look.
When you're up and about, I'll take you to a match.
Might even get you in this time.
Well, look.
When you're up and about, I'll take you to a match.
Might even get you in this time.
Well, look.
When you're up and about, I'll take you to a match.
Might even get you in this time.
I'd rather you scattered my ashes at the Stretford End.
I'd rather you scattered my ashes at the Stretford End.
I'd rather you scattered my ashes at the Stretford End.
You remember that promise you made me? You remember that promise you made me? To kill you? I wasn't serious! To kill you? I wasn't serious! I want you to do it.
I want you to do it.
I want you to do it.
No, Harry.
No way! Nobody will suspect.
This virus has already done for one old guy.
No, Harry.
No way! Nobody will suspect.
This virus has already done for one old guy.
No, Harry.
No way! Nobody will suspect.
This virus has already done for one old guy.
No, Harry.
No way! Nobody will suspect.
This virus has already done for one old guy.
I'm not listening to this.
I'm going.
I'm not listening to this.
I'm going.
I'm not listening to this.
I'm going.
It's thanks to you I was put in here! It's thanks to you I was put in here! (COUGHING AND LABOURED BREATHING) (COUGHING AND LABOURED BREATHING) (COUGHING AND LABOURED BREATHING) Kill me, Peter.
Kill me, Peter.
You know Tchaikovsky called Brahms a talentless bastard.
He should have come tonight.
You know Tchaikovsky called Brahms a talentless bastard.
He should have come tonight.
You know Tchaikovsky called Brahms a talentless bastard.
He should have come tonight.
That was sublime.
That was sublime.
The Berlin Philharmonic's performing a German Requiem later in the year.
The Berlin Philharmonic's performing a German Requiem later in the year.
The Berlin Philharmonic's performing a German Requiem later in the year.
We could go if you like.
We could go if you like.
We could go if you like.
To Berlin! Well, that's usually where the Berlin Philharmonic plays.
To Berlin! Well, that's usually where the Berlin Philharmonic plays.
To Berlin! Well, that's usually where the Berlin Philharmonic plays.
Give it a thought.
I don't want this evening to end, not yet.
Give it a thought.
I don't want this evening to end, not yet.
Give it a thought.
I don't want this evening to end, not yet.
My hotel's within walking distance.
My hotel's within walking distance.
My hotel's within walking distance.
Perhaps another night.
Perhaps another night.
Sorry, I know it's really boring.
I, erm I just want to make sure the girls are home OK.
Do you mind? Sorry, I know it's really boring.
I, erm I just want to make sure the girls are home OK.
Do you mind? Sorry, I know it's really boring.
I, erm I just want to make sure the girls are home OK.
Do you mind? Sorry, I know it's really boring.
I, erm I just want to make sure the girls are home OK.
Do you mind? Of course not.
Laurence, take Mrs Marsden home, please.
Of course not.
Laurence, take Mrs Marsden home, please.
Thank you for a lovely evening.
Thank you for a lovely evening.
Good night.
# LUCY ROSE: Night Bus # When you see trouble in her eyes # When you see trouble in her eyes # When you see trouble in her eyes # When you see trouble in her eyes # And you've noticed but only realised # And you've noticed but only realised # And you've noticed but only realised # And you've noticed but only realised # And you've noticed but only realised # It's not fading however hard you try # It's not fading however hard you try # It's not fading however hard you try # Cos it's built in her for her life # Cos it's built in her for her life # Cos it's built in her for her life # Cos it's built in her for her life I'm not alone I'm not alone I'm not alone This came for you while you were out.
This came for you while you were out.
It's from David.
It's from David.
Why is David sending me stuff? Cos you need to do some exercise.
Why is David sending me stuff? Cos you need to do some exercise.
It releases endorphins, which help with depression.
It releases endorphins, which help with depression.
It releases endorphins, which help with depression.
I've researched it on the internet.
Being depressed, exercise is the last thing people feel like doing.
I've researched it on the internet.
Being depressed, exercise is the last thing people feel like doing.
I've researched it on the internet.
Being depressed, exercise is the last thing people feel like doing.
I've researched it on the internet.
Being depressed, exercise is the last thing people feel like doing.
Well, it's not the top of his list at the best of times.
Which is why we need to encouragehim.
Well, it's not the top of his list at the best of times.
Which is why we need to encouragehim.
Well, it's not the top of his list at the best of times.
Which is why we need to encouragehim.
Well, it's not the top of his list at the best of times.
Which is why we need to encouragehim.
(DOORBELL CHIMES) Please don't laugh.
Don't laugh.
(DOORBELL CHIMES) Please don't laugh.
Don't laugh.
(LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) Well, you look like a dick, too! Oh, wow! That's a combination that doesn't work.
Well, you look like a dick, too! Oh, wow! That's a combination that doesn't work.
Well, you look like a dick, too! Oh, wow! That's a combination that doesn't work.
Well, you look like a dick, too! Oh, wow! That's a combination that doesn't work.
What? Green and black? No, middle-aged and Lycra.
What? Green and black? No, middle-aged and Lycra.
What? Green and black? No, middle-aged and Lycra.
Bagsy the front.
Adam? Hello! Adam? Hello! Matt? Matt? Matt? (SIGHS) (SIGHS) (CRIES OUT IN EXASPERATION) Are you all right? I left my keys inside.
Are you all right? I left my keys inside.
Are you all right? I left my keys inside.
Is that all? Is that all? Is that all? No.
No.
Come on.
I'll let you in.
Come on.
I'll let you in.
I mean, Manchester's fine as far as it goes, but it's not Singapore.
I mean, Manchester's fine as far as it goes, but it's not Singapore.
And I miss my friends.
And I miss my friends.
And I miss my friends.
Adam's have tried to make me feel welcome, butwell they just seem a lot older than me.
Adam's have tried to make me feel welcome, butwell they just seem a lot older than me.
Adam's have tried to make me feel welcome, butwell they just seem a lot older than me.
Adam's have tried to make me feel welcome, butwell they just seem a lot older than me.
Adam's have tried to make me feel welcome, butwell they just seem a lot older than me.
That's because they're the same age as him.
That's because they're the same age as him.
(DOOR CREAKS OPENS) Hi.
Erm, we'll just go up to my room.
(DOOR CREAKS OPENS) Hi.
Erm, we'll just go up to my room.
(DOOR CREAKS OPENS) Hi.
Erm, we'll just go up to my room.
(DOOR CREAKS OPENS) Hi.
Erm, we'll just go up to my room.
Er, keep one foot on the floor at all times.
Er, keep one foot on the floor at all times.
Er, keep one foot on the floor at all times.
Sorry? Nothing! Sorry? Nothing! Sorry? Nothing! Just something my dad used to say to me.
Just something my dad used to say to me.
Just something my dad used to say to me.
That's the other thing.
Matt.
That's the other thing.
Matt.
I'm really fond of him but, God, nothing prepares you for being stepmum to a teenager.
I'm really fond of him but, God, nothing prepares you for being stepmum to a teenager.
I'm really fond of him but, God, nothing prepares you for being stepmum to a teenager.
I'm really fond of him but, God, nothing prepares you for being stepmum to a teenager.
And meanwhile, where's Adam? Off with the boys.
Again.
And meanwhile, where's Adam? Off with the boys.
Again.
I've just been offered a promotion.
I've just been offered a promotion.
Oh, that's fantastic! I can't take it.
Oh, that's fantastic! I can't take it.
Oh, that's fantastic! I can't take it.
I promised Adam I'd stay here.
I just keep telling myself it's only four months.
I promised Adam I'd stay here.
I just keep telling myself it's only four months.
I promised Adam I'd stay here.
I just keep telling myself it's only four months.
I promised Adam I'd stay here.
I just keep telling myself it's only four months.
But that's 16 weeks.
112 days.
But that's 16 weeks.
112 days.
But that's 16 weeks.
112 days.
I'm not sure I can bear it.
I'm not sure I can bear it.
I feel like I've got an incontinence pad up my arse.
Well, at least you won't need a toiletbreak.
I feel like I've got an incontinence pad up my arse.
Well, at least you won't need a toiletbreak.
I feel like I've got an incontinence pad up my arse.
Well, at least you won't need a toiletbreak.
Right.
We're doing Dunham Massey.
I know the route, so just follow me.
Right.
We're doing Dunham Massey.
I know the route, so just follow me.
Right.
We're doing Dunham Massey.
I know the route, so just follow me.
How am I gonna follow you if I'm in front of you? I've done more cycling than you.
How am I gonna follow you if I'm in front of you? I've done more cycling than you.
How am I gonna follow you if I'm in front of you? I've done more cycling than you.
How am I gonna follow you if I'm in front of you? I've done more cycling than you.
You might be older, but I'm fitter.
Tenner says I beat you.
Twenty says you don't.
You in, Pete? You might be older, but I'm fitter.
Tenner says I beat you.
Twenty says you don't.
You in, Pete? You might be older, but I'm fitter.
Tenner says I beat you.
Twenty says you don't.
You in, Pete? You might be older, but I'm fitter.
Tenner says I beat you.
Twenty says you don't.
You in, Pete? I don't even wanna be here.
Go.
(SIGHS) I don't even wanna be here.
Go.
(SIGHS) I don't even wanna be here.
Go.
(SIGHS) And they're off.
First one past The Swan's the winner.
And they're off.
First one past The Swan's the winner.
(EXHALES) Did you have a nice time? Like you care.
(EXHALES) Did you have a nice time? Like you care.
Sorry? I know you're only being nice cos of my dad.
Sorry? I know you're only being nice cos of my dad.
(BRAKES SQUEAK) Hey! You got a puncture? Yeah.
(BRAKES SQUEAK) Hey! You got a puncture? Yeah.
(BRAKES SQUEAK) Hey! You got a puncture? Yeah.
Here.
Take this.
I'd rather walk.
Here.
Take this.
I'd rather walk.
Here.
Take this.
I'd rather walk.
No.
No.
Can't accept assistance from another rider.
You know, central tenet of the Tour de France.
No.
No.
Can't accept assistance from another rider.
You know, central tenet of the Tour de France.
No.
No.
Can't accept assistance from another rider.
You know, central tenet of the Tour de France.
Whereas blood transfusions, doping (!) Whereas blood transfusions, doping (!) Whereas blood transfusions, doping (!) The key thing is, you don't get found out.
Oh.
The key thing is, you don't get found out.
Oh.
The key thing is, you don't get found out.
Oh.
You go on.
Soon as this is fixedI'll catch him.
You go on.
Soon as this is fixedI'll catch him.
You go on.
Soon as this is fixedI'll catch him.
You go on.
Soon as this is fixedI'll catch him.
(EXHALES) You're back early.
Movie no good? We didn't go.
We split up.
Movie no good? We didn't go.
We split up.
Oh, darling.
I'm sorry.
Are you very upset? Oh, darling.
I'm sorry.
Are you very upset? Oh, darling.
I'm sorry.
Are you very upset? Mum, it was me that ended it.
Wellyou're still allowed to be upset.
Mum, it was me that ended it.
Wellyou're still allowed to be upset.
Mum, it was me that ended it.
Wellyou're still allowed to be upset.
Mum, it was me that ended it.
Wellyou're still allowed to be upset.
I like Matt.
He's really sweet.
And that's why you ended it.
I like Matt.
He's really sweet.
And that's why you ended it.
I like Matt.
He's really sweet.
And that's why you ended it.
We'd never last.
And the longer I let it drag on, the uglier it would be when we split up.
We'd never last.
And the longer I let it drag on, the uglier it would be when we split up.
We'd never last.
And the longer I let it drag on, the uglier it would be when we split up.
We'd never last.
And the longer I let it drag on, the uglier it would be when we split up.
And I'd really like to keep him as a friend.
Does that sound stupid? And I'd really like to keep him as a friend.
Does that sound stupid? And I'd really like to keep him as a friend.
Does that sound stupid? No, no.
Not at all.
Just, maybe you could havereached that conclusion before sleeping withhim.
No, no.
Not at all.
Just, maybe you could havereached that conclusion before sleeping withhim.
No, no.
Not at all.
Just, maybe you could havereached that conclusion before sleeping withhim.
No, no.
Not at all.
Just, maybe you could havereached that conclusion before sleeping withhim.
I didn't rush into it, Mum.
I didn't rush into it, Mum.
I didn't rush into it, Mum.
I really thought we might have something.
So, I had to find out.
I really thought we might have something.
So, I had to find out.
I really thought we might have something.
So, I had to find out.
If you like someone, but don't give them the chance to be more than friendswell, they never will be.
If you like someone, but don't give them the chance to be more than friendswell, they never will be.
If you like someone, but don't give them the chance to be more than friendswell, they never will be.
If you like someone, but don't give them the chance to be more than friendswell, they never will be.
(GROANING) (GROANING) Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
What's up? What's up? Oh, cramp.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
What's up? What's up? Oh, cramp.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
What's up? What's up? Oh, cramp.
Oh, God! Where's David? He's had a puncture.
Oh, God! Where's David? He's had a puncture.
Oh, God! Where's David? He's had a puncture.
You could cycle with one leg and still win.
Really? Yeah.
You could cycle with one leg and still win.
Really? Yeah.
You could cycle with one leg and still win.
Really? Yeah.
Come on.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow! Come on.
Ow! Ow, ow, ow! You can beat us both.
You'd hate that.
Not as long as I beathim.
You can beat us both.
You'd hate that.
Not as long as I beathim.
You can beat us both.
You'd hate that.
Not as long as I beathim.
You can beat us both.
You'd hate that.
Not as long as I beathim.
Ow.
Ow.
Ow.
# AC/DC: Highway To Hell # AC/DC: Highway To Hell # Highway to hell # Highway to hell I'm on the highway to hell Oh, shit! Shit! I'm on the highway to hell Oh, shit! Shit! I'm on the highway to hell Oh, shit! Shit! (GRUNTS AND GROANS) (GRUNTS AND GROANS) Got you, Adam! Oh, shit! Got you, Adam! Oh, shit! Got you, Adam! Oh, shit! Don't stop now Don't stop now Don't stop now (ALL GRUNTING AND GROANING) (ALL GRUNTING AND GROANING) YAY! Yeah! YAY! Yeah! (GROANS) (GROANS) (ALL PANTING) (ALL PANTING) How did it go, love? I came last.
I always come last.
How did it go, love? I came last.
I always come last.
How did it go, love? I came last.
I always come last.
(SIGHS) Just for once, it would be nice not to.
I thought the point was to cheer you up.
'Fat chance!' (SIGHS) Just for once, it would be nice not to.
I thought the point was to cheer you up.
'Fat chance!' (SIGHS) Just for once, it would be nice not to.
I thought the point was to cheer you up.
'Fat chance!' Look, I'll see you later.
OK? Look, I'll see you later.
OK? Look, I'll see you later.
OK? Your stake-out skills leave a lot to be desired.
Your stake-out skills leave a lot to be desired.
How did you find out where I live? Followed you home from work.
Didn't spot me then, did you? How did you find out where I live? Followed you home from work.
Didn't spot me then, did you? How did you find out where I live? Followed you home from work.
Didn't spot me then, did you? How did you find out where I live? Followed you home from work.
Didn't spot me then, did you? Right, I did warn you.
Now, I'm going to call the police.
Well, if you want your husband to find out.
Right, I did warn you.
Now, I'm going to call the police.
Well, if you want your husband to find out.
Right, I did warn you.
Now, I'm going to call the police.
Well, if you want your husband to find out.
Right, I did warn you.
Now, I'm going to call the police.
Well, if you want your husband to find out.
(SIGHS) Look.
I don't want any trouble, but (SIGHS) Look.
I don't want any trouble, but (SIGHS) Look.
I don't want any trouble, but (SIGHS) Look.
I don't want any trouble, but what harm's a bit of fantasy now and again? what harm's a bit of fantasy now and again? what harm's a bit of fantasy now and again? Well, if you put it like that.
Well, if you put it like that.
OK.
You're on.
OK.
You're on.
I'll call you.
(DOORBELL CHIMES) What's up? Is it Pete? What's up? Is it Pete? You kissed this guy? No.
He kissed me.
It was a game.
It got out of hand.
You kissed this guy? No.
He kissed me.
It was a game.
It got out of hand.
You kissed this guy? No.
He kissed me.
It was a game.
It got out of hand.
Why were you even playing? You've got a husband suffering from depression! Why were you even playing? You've got a husband suffering from depression! Why were you even playing? You've got a husband suffering from depression! I didn't know that at the time.
It was meant to be harmless.
I didn't know that at the time.
It was meant to be harmless.
I didn't know that at the time.
It was meant to be harmless.
Anyway, you have no idea how hard it is living with somebody who's depressed.
Anyway, you have no idea how hard it is living with somebody who's depressed.
Anyway, you have no idea how hard it is living with somebody who's depressed.
Might be harder for them, huh? I imagine! Jesus, Jen.
Might be harder for them, huh? I imagine! Jesus, Jen.
Might be harder for them, huh? I imagine! Jesus, Jen.
You're part of his problem, too.
What? I am? You're part of his problem, too.
What? I am? You're part of his problem, too.
What? I am? Yeah.
For years, you've only been in touch when it suits you.
Yeah.
For years, you've only been in touch when it suits you.
Yeah.
For years, you've only been in touch when it suits you.
And then you swan back in here with your fancy pants and think you can just pick up as if nothing's changed.
And then you swan back in here with your fancy pants and think you can just pick up as if nothing's changed.
And then you swan back in here with your fancy pants and think you can just pick up as if nothing's changed.
And then you swan back in here with your fancy pants and think you can just pick up as if nothing's changed.
Nothing has changed between me and Pete.
Sorry, but from his perspective, the gulf's enormous.
Nothing has changed between me and Pete.
Sorry, but from his perspective, the gulf's enormous.
Nothing has changed between me and Pete.
Sorry, but from his perspective, the gulf's enormous.
Nothing has changed between me and Pete.
Sorry, but from his perspective, the gulf's enormous.
I do what I can.
I took him to the doctor's, didn't I? Yeah.
And you took him cycling, too.
I do what I can.
I took him to the doctor's, didn't I? Yeah.
And you took him cycling, too.
I do what I can.
I took him to the doctor's, didn't I? Yeah.
And you took him cycling, too.
I do what I can.
I took him to the doctor's, didn't I? Yeah.
And you took him cycling, too.
Turned that into some stupid race and then, guess who came last! He didn't mind that.
Turned that into some stupid race and then, guess who came last! He didn't mind that.
Turned that into some stupid race and then, guess who came last! He didn't mind that.
Turned that into some stupid race and then, guess who came last! He didn't mind that.
Anyway, this is not about me.
I know that.
Anyway, this is not about me.
I know that.
Anyway, this is not about me.
I know that.
(SIGHS) I've messed up, OK? (SIGHS) I've messed up, OK? But I need your help.
Please, Adam.
Please, Adam.
(LABOURED BREATHING) (LABOURED BREATHING) (COUGHS HIMSELF AWAKE) (COUGHS HIMSELF AWAKE) The nurse said I'veto get you to take these pills.
The nurse said I'veto get you to take these pills.
Do you want me to pretend to swallow them? Do you want me to pretend to swallow them? Do you want me to pretend to swallow them? Or just stick 'em under the bed with the rest? Or just stick 'em under the bed with the rest? Or just stick 'em under the bed with the rest? Harry, how are you gonna get better? Harry, how are you gonna get better? I don't want to.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
Fetch me that pillow, will you? Fetch me that pillow, will you? Now, put it over my face.
What? Now, put it over my face.
What? Don't be ridiculous.
Please, Pete.
I'm begging you.
Don't be ridiculous.
Please, Pete.
I'm begging you.
Don't be ridiculous.
Please, Pete.
I'm begging you.
Don't be ridiculous.
Please, Pete.
I'm begging you.
My Elma's waiting for me.
Don't keep me from her.
My Elma's waiting for me.
Don't keep me from her.
My Elma's waiting for me.
Don't keep me from her.
(SIGHS) Harry, II can't.
Yes you can, son.
Come on.
Try it.
(SIGHS) Harry, II can't.
Yes you can, son.
Come on.
Try it.
(SIGHS) Harry, II can't.
Yes you can, son.
Come on.
Try it.
(SIGHS) Harry, II can't.
Yes you can, son.
Come on.
Try it.
No one'll come in.
No one'll come in.
No one'll come in.
Please.
(DISTANT FOOTSTEPS) Pete.
Please.
(DISTANT FOOTSTEPS) Pete.
Please.
(DISTANT FOOTSTEPS) Pete.
I want you to do it.
I'll help you.
I won't struggle.
Come on, son.
I want you to do it.
I'll help you.
I won't struggle.
Come on, son.
I want you to do it.
I'll help you.
I won't struggle.
Come on, son.
You can do it.
You can do it.
For me? That's it.
Come on.
That's it.
Come on.
(GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (STRUGGLES AND GROANS) (STRUGGLES AND GROANS) (PANTING) (MOANS) (SOBS) (SOBS) (CRIES OUT) (YELLS) (CRIES OUT) (YELLS) (BOTH GASP FOR BREATH) (BOTH GASP FOR BREATH) Do it again! (SPLUTTERS) Do it again! (SPLUTTERS) (DOORBELL CHIMES) You're late.
Well, I was a little nervous, to be honest and, er You're late.
Well, I was a little nervous, to be honest and, er well, surprised that you suggested I come here.
well, surprised that you suggested I come here.
well, surprised that you suggested I come here.
This is Pete.
My husband.
This is Pete.
My husband.
Hello.
You must be the sales rep.
Hello.
You must be the sales rep.
Hello.
You must be the sales rep.
Or is it the undercover cop? Or is it the undercover cop? Or is it the undercover cop? Or is it the undercover cop? Oh, yes.
Jenny's told me all about your little fantasy Don't look at me! Oh, yes.
Jenny's told me all about your little fantasy Don't look at me! Oh, yes.
Jenny's told me all about your little fantasy Don't look at me! Do you know what my fantasy is? She does.
Do you know what my fantasy is? She does.
If some bloke makes a pass at my bird and we get into a fight, it turns her on.
If some bloke makes a pass at my bird and we get into a fight, it turns her on.
If some bloke makes a pass at my bird and we get into a fight, it turns her on.
If some bloke makes a pass at my bird and we get into a fight, it turns her on.
When I'm standing over his battered body, blood dripping from my fist, When I'm standing over his battered body, blood dripping from my fist, When I'm standing over his battered body, blood dripping from my fist, she begs me to take her there and then.
(GROANS) she begs me to take her there and then.
(GROANS) she begs me to take her there and then.
(GROANS) You're a nutter.
And you are, too! You're a nutter.
And you are, too! You're a nutter.
And you are, too! (DOOR SLAMS) Oh, my God! Where did that come from? Oh, my God! Where did that come from? Oh, my God! Where did that come from? Oh, my God! Where did that come from? I've no idea, but I've gotta tell you, my buddy John's gone a bit mad down there.
I've no idea, but I've gotta tell you, my buddy John's gone a bit mad down there.
I've no idea, but I've gotta tell you, my buddy John's gone a bit mad down there.
I've no idea, but I've gotta tell you, my buddy John's gone a bit mad down there.
Mine too! (LAUGHTER) Mine too! (LAUGHTER) Oh, my God! Oh, Adam.
I'm sorry.
I know.
I know you are.
I'm gonna try and be a good wife.
Oh, my God! Oh, Adam.
I'm sorry.
I know.
I know you are.
I'm gonna try and be a good wife.
Oh, my God! Oh, Adam.
I'm sorry.
I know.
I know you are.
I'm gonna try and be a good wife.
Oh, my God! Oh, Adam.
I'm sorry.
I know.
I know you are.
I'm gonna try and be a good wife.
Do you think Pete's gonna be all right? Do you think Pete's gonna be all right? With you and me in his corner, 50/50! With you and me in his corner, 50/50! With you and me in his corner, 50/50! (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
(DEVICE BEEPS) (DEVICE BEEPS) (DEVICE BEEPS) (THUD) Darling! I wasn't expecting you home.
Apparently.
I wasn't expecting you home.
Apparently.
I wasn't expecting you home.
Apparently.
Sorry, it's been a very trying few days.
Has your little legal problem gone away? Sorry, it's been a very trying few days.
Has your little legal problem gone away? Sorry, it's been a very trying few days.
Has your little legal problem gone away? My lawyer's working on it.
Hm.
A simple "no" would suffice.
My lawyer's working on it.
Hm.
A simple "no" would suffice.
My lawyer's working on it.
Hm.
A simple "no" would suffice.
My lawyer's working on it.
Hm.
A simple "no" would suffice.
It will.
I haven't done anything wrong.
It will.
I haven't done anything wrong.
I've been thinking about that.
I've been thinking about that.
I've been thinking about that.
As your wife, I really ought to believe in your innocence.
As your wife, I really ought to believe in your innocence.
As your wife, I really ought to believe in your innocence.
And yetI'm not sure, because I know you're morally slippery.
Robyn - Don't deny it.
And yetI'm not sure, because I know you're morally slippery.
Robyn - Don't deny it.
And yetI'm not sure, because I know you're morally slippery.
Robyn - Don't deny it.
And yetI'm not sure, because I know you're morally slippery.
Robyn - Don't deny it.
You asked Karen to take your points for you.
That speaks to the quality of your character.
You asked Karen to take your points for you.
That speaks to the quality of your character.
You asked Karen to take your points for you.
That speaks to the quality of your character.
You asked Karen to take your points for you.
That speaks to the quality of your character.
I'm not saying that Idisbelieve you.
I'm not saying that Idisbelieve you.
I'm not saying that Idisbelieve you.
I supposethe jury's out.
I supposethe jury's out.
I supposethe jury's out.
I'm going to have a bath.
Tidy up, would you? I'm going to have a bath.
Tidy up, would you? Thanks for coming, guys.
I appreciate it.
Thanks for coming, guys.
I appreciate it.
Well, you said you'd buy the drinks.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Well, you said you'd buy the drinks.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Well, you said you'd buy the drinks.
Thanks.
Yeah.
Now, erm, there's something I need to tell you.
Now, erm, there's something I need to tell you.
Now, erm, there's something I need to tell you.
Erm, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've always tended to be rather competitive.
No, really! Erm, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've always tended to be rather competitive.
No, really! Erm, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've always tended to be rather competitive.
No, really! Well, no more than you! What? I blame my upbringing.
Well, no more than you! What? I blame my upbringing.
Well, no more than you! What? I blame my upbringing.
Public school, a father who, if I got 19 out of 20, wanted to know what I got wrong.
Public school, a father who, if I got 19 out of 20, wanted to know what I got wrong.
Public school, a father who, if I got 19 out of 20, wanted to know what I got wrong.
Public school, a father who, if I got 19 out of 20, wanted to know what I got wrong.
A younger brother who never bore the burden of our parents' expectations.
How is Nick? A younger brother who never bore the burden of our parents' expectations.
How is Nick? A younger brother who never bore the burden of our parents' expectations.
How is Nick? A younger brother who never bore the burden of our parents' expectations.
How is Nick? Oh, he's developed some stupid app.
He's made millions.
Oh, he's developed some stupid app.
He's made millions.
Oh, he's developed some stupid app.
He's made millions.
The thing is, I've never been good at losing.
The thing is, I've never been good at losing.
Never had to be.
(SCOFFS) Never had to be.
(SCOFFS) AndI've got a confession to make.
AndI've got a confession to make.
Oh, is this, erm, about your thing with the police? Guilty.
I knew it.
Me and Jen were right.
Oh, is this, erm, about your thing with the police? Guilty.
I knew it.
Me and Jen were right.
Oh, is this, erm, about your thing with the police? Guilty.
I knew it.
Me and Jen were right.
Oh, is this, erm, about your thing with the police? Guilty.
I knew it.
Me and Jen were right.
You City lot! You're all crooks.
No, I'm completely innocent of that.
You City lot! You're all crooks.
No, I'm completely innocent of that.
You City lot! You're all crooks.
No, I'm completely innocent of that.
No, it's just You remember that day we went cycling? Yeah.
No, it's just You remember that day we went cycling? Yeah.
No, it's just You remember that day we went cycling? Yeah.
Well, my puncture took forever to repair.
And there was no way I was going to catch you up.
Well, my puncture took forever to repair.
And there was no way I was going to catch you up.
Well, my puncture took forever to repair.
And there was no way I was going to catch you up.
Well, my puncture took forever to repair.
And there was no way I was going to catch you up.
But thenI had a stroke of luck.
But thenI had a stroke of luck.
But thenI had a stroke of luck.
Coo-ee! Thanks.
(GROANS IN PAIN) (GROANS IN PAIN) I cheated.
I should have been disqualified.
So that means I didn't come last? I cheated.
I should have been disqualified.
So that means I didn't come last? I cheated.
I should have been disqualified.
So that means I didn't come last? No.
And you won, Adam.
No.
And you won, Adam.
Fair and square.
So, why are you telling us all this? Fair and square.
So, why are you telling us all this? Fair and square.
So, why are you telling us all this? Well, Robyn claimed that my moral compass doesn't exactly point True North, Well, Robyn claimed that my moral compass doesn't exactly point True North, Well, Robyn claimed that my moral compass doesn't exactly point True North, which I thought was unfair.
But on reflection which I thought was unfair.
But on reflection which I thought was unfair.
But on reflection which I thought was unfair.
But on reflection I cheated you out of 20 quid.
I cheated you out of 20 quid.
I cheated you out of 20 quid.
Well, you still are.
That's my stake.
What about the winnings,big boy? Well, you still are.
That's my stake.
What about the winnings,big boy? Well, you still are.
That's my stake.
What about the winnings,big boy? Oh, yes.
Of course.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
Yes.
Sorry.
Thank you very much.
I didn't come last.
Sorry.
Thank you very much.
I didn't come last.
Nah.
Nah.
(GLASSES CLINK) Adam! Adam! Adam! Adam! Look, you can tell me to mind my own business - Mind your own business.
Look, you can tell me to mind my own business - Mind your own business.
Look, you can tell me to mind my own business - Mind your own business.
Are you sure it's really working? You asking Angela to put her life in Singapore on hold.
Are you sure it's really working? You asking Angela to put her life in Singapore on hold.
Are you sure it's really working? You asking Angela to put her life in Singapore on hold.
Are you sure it's really working? You asking Angela to put her life in Singapore on hold.
What was the one thing that we swore we'd never do? Cheat? No, no, no.
The other one.
What was the one thing that we swore we'd never do? Cheat? No, no, no.
The other one.
What was the one thing that we swore we'd never do? Cheat? No, no, no.
The other one.
Keep secrets from each other.
Oh, God.
What haven't you told me? No, I'm talking about the promotion.
Keep secrets from each other.
Oh, God.
What haven't you told me? No, I'm talking about the promotion.
Keep secrets from each other.
Oh, God.
What haven't you told me? No, I'm talking about the promotion.
Keep secrets from each other.
Oh, God.
What haven't you told me? No, I'm talking about the promotion.
You should have told me.
I'm sorry.
You should have told me.
I'm sorry.
You should have told me.
I'm sorry.
No, I am.
I know how much that job means to you.
I love you for turning it down for me.
No, I am.
I know how much that job means to you.
I love you for turning it down for me.
No, I am.
I know how much that job means to you.
I love you for turning it down for me.
No, I am.
I know how much that job means to you.
I love you for turning it down for me.
So, Tinatold me about your meltdown.
So, Tinatold me about your meltdown.
So, Tinatold me about your meltdown.
It wasn't a meltdown.
It wasn't a meltdown.
I had no idea you were that unhappy.
I had no idea you were that unhappy.
I had no idea you were that unhappy.
I'm not.
I'll gethappier.
I just need time to settle in.
I'm not.
I'll gethappier.
I just need time to settle in.
I'm not.
I'll gethappier.
I just need time to settle in.
I'm not.
I'll gethappier.
I just need time to settle in.
What? You'll get happier? What? You'll get happier? What? You'll get happier? Ange, you know, our time here, it's not long term.
Ange, you know, our time here, it's not long term.
Ange, you know, our time here, it's not long term.
Get Matt through his exams.
Four months.
Get Matt through his exams.
Four months.
Get Matt through his exams.
Four months.
112 days.
112 days.
Exactly.
Exactly.
We can survive that long apart.
You want me to go home? Yes.
We can survive that long apart.
You want me to go home? Yes.
We can survive that long apart.
You want me to go home? Yes.
No, but(SIGHS) Yes.
No, but(SIGHS) Yes.
No, but(SIGHS) Yes.
Look.
We can, erm We can still see each other.
Look.
We can, erm We can still see each other.
Look.
We can, erm We can still see each other.
Once a month I'll come out, spend the weekend with you.
Every other fortnight, you come here.
Once a month I'll come out, spend the weekend with you.
Every other fortnight, you come here.
Once a month I'll come out, spend the weekend with you.
Every other fortnight, you come here.
I don't run away from things just cos they're difficult.
I'm not saying that.
I don't run away from things just cos they're difficult.
I'm not saying that.
I don't run away from things just cos they're difficult.
I'm not saying that.
I don't run away from things just cos they're difficult.
I'm not saying that.
I'm saying you're running towards this amazing opportunity.
That's if it's still open.
I'm saying you're running towards this amazing opportunity.
That's if it's still open.
I'm saying you're running towards this amazing opportunity.
That's if it's still open.
I'm saying you're running towards this amazing opportunity.
That's if it's still open.
Gus did ask me to reconsider.
Ah.
Well, you should have told me that, too.
Gus did ask me to reconsider.
Ah.
Well, you should have told me that, too.
Gus did ask me to reconsider.
Ah.
Well, you should have told me that, too.
Adam, are you sure? Adam, are you sure? It's four months.
It's four months.
If we can't get through that, we shouldn't be together.
If we can't get through that, we shouldn't be together.
If we can't get through that, we shouldn't be together.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, my God! (CHUCKLES) Oh, my God! Oh, my God! This job, it is made for me and I will be so good at it.
I know you will.
Oh, my God! This job, it is made for me and I will be so good at it.
I know you will.
Oh, my God! This job, it is made for me and I will be so good at it.
I know you will.
Oh, my God! This job, it is made for me and I will be so good at it.
I know you will.
Oh, my God! This job, it is made for me and I will be so good at it.
I know you will.
Every other fortnight.
And that's a promise.
I know.
Every other fortnight.
And that's a promise.
I know.
I'm gonna call Gus, tell him I'm taking it.
I'm gonna call Gus, tell him I'm taking it.
Really? What time is it in Singapore? Oh, he won't answer hisphone.
Really? What time is it in Singapore? Oh, he won't answer hisphone.
Really? What time is it in Singapore? Oh, he won't answer hisphone.
Really? What time is it in Singapore? Oh, he won't answer hisphone.
Gus! Hi! Gus! Hi! Sorry.
It's Angela.
Sorry.
It's Angela.
Is it? 4am? Ooh! Is it? 4am? Ooh! Oh, well, since you're awake Oh, well, since you're awake # JAMES BAY: Hold Back The River # JAMES BAY: Hold Back The River # Hold back the river So I # Hold back the river So I # Hold back the river So I Can stop for a minute and see where you hide Can stop for a minute and see where you hide Can stop for a minute and see where you hide I am sorry to be calling it a night so early.
I am sorry to be calling it a night so early.
I am sorry to be calling it a night so early.
But I have this deal and I need to be across it.
It's not just that you can't abide mycoffee! But I have this deal and I need to be across it.
It's not just that you can't abide mycoffee! But I have this deal and I need to be across it.
It's not just that you can't abide mycoffee! But I have this deal and I need to be across it.
It's not just that you can't abide mycoffee! The girls are both out at parties.
They won't be back till late, if at all.
The girls are both out at parties.
They won't be back till late, if at all.
The girls are both out at parties.
They won't be back till late, if at all.
This deal.
I don't suppose it's something you'd be able to set up from a suburban semi.
This deal.
I don't suppose it's something you'd be able to set up from a suburban semi.
This deal.
I don't suppose it's something you'd be able to set up from a suburban semi.
This deal.
I don't suppose it's something you'd be able to set up from a suburban semi.
Mm-hm.
If you have superfast broadband.
It's closer to dial-up.
Mm-hm.
If you have superfast broadband.
It's closer to dial-up.
Mm-hm.
If you have superfast broadband.
It's closer to dial-up.
Mm-hm.
If you have superfast broadband.
It's closer to dial-up.
The other side don't want me to walk away.
They'll wait.
The other side don't want me to walk away.
They'll wait.
The other side don't want me to walk away.
They'll wait.
And as far as I remember, your coffee was actually rather good.
And as far as I remember, your coffee was actually rather good.
And as far as I remember, your coffee was actually rather good.
My breakfasts are better.
My breakfasts are better.
# Hold back the river So I # Hold back the river So I # Hold back the river So I # Can stop for a minute And be by your side # Can stop for a minute And be by your side # Can stop for a minute And be by your side # Hold back the river Hold back # Hold back the river Hold back # Hold back the river Hold back # Hold back the river Let me look in your eyes # Hold back the river Let me look in your eyes # Hold back the river So I # Hold back the river So I # Hold back the river So I Can stop for a minute And see where you hide Can stop for a minute And see where you hide Can stop for a minute And see where you hide .