Comic Book Men s02e11 Episode Script
Stash-teroids
You ever feel self-conscious, Telling people that you work at a comic book store? Whew, I still do at times, you know? You meet captains of industry out there.
They ask, you know, "what do you do for a living?" You gotta tell them you work at a comic book store? Yeah, but you get to tell people At least, "I manage a comic book store," Whereas I tell people, "I work under a guy," And they're like, "there are two guys who actually do this?" But did you even realize That you should've been this self-conscious - About your position? - Yeah, seriously.
No, but, I mean, I would've felt like--hey! At least I have a job.
What makes you think I don't have a job? The fact that you live in your mom's basement.
- You really think I live there? - Yes.
- Well, I do, but - [laughter.]
I got things going on, irons in the fire.
You know, the business of being a free spirit.
You're on the dole.
The dole.
[laughter.]
That's an interesting term.
I haven't heard it since this morning When my mom screamed at me when I left.
[exciting music.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, The only show that has the sack to tell you That your crap is worthless, man.
I'm your host Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Okay.
Were there any big-ticket items Coming through the door this week? Biggest ticket and maybe biggest bulk item Was something that generated hours of fun, Tons of commerce and quarters-- Oh! - Hey, how are you? - How you doing? I've got something you may be interested in.
What's that? Oh, you want to come outside and take a look? - It's in the truck.
- You want to come with me? This kind of sounds a little weird.
Is there candy inside? 'cause I'm willing to take a risk.
- [laughs.]
- Why not? - Watch the store.
- Are you ready for this? - I guess so.
- Okay.
Oh, no way! An original Asteroids from 1979.
[spaceship shooting, explosions.]
I haven't seen one of them in years.
It's in good shape.
- Ready to play.
- Where did you get it? I picked this machine out of a hoarder's house.
A hoarder's house? It sat in his second bedroom for 30 years.
It took us almost two hours just to find it.
Wow, you're trying to sell it at a comic book store, huh? Well, I figured you guys gotta do something in your spare time.
- Fair enough.
- You want to see it work? - I'll bring it right inside.
- Awesome, man.
My favorite Asteroids machine in the world is the one At the Highlands Recreation Center Because of Jason Mewes.
So I was reading comics one day, So was Walter, door kicks open.
Jason Mewes marches in.
He immediate proceeds To fellate anything somewhat phallic In the entire recreation center.
Me and Walter look up from our comics, And we're watching him go from thing to thing.
Like, he grabs a flag pole, he grabs a pool stick.
Then he hit the Asteroids machine, And as you know, the Asteroids machine Doesn't have a joystick, It has buttons, so he was sitting there, Looking at it, stymied, 'cause there was nothing to fellate.
And instead, he was just like-- [rolls tongue.]
I said, "I want to hang out with that kid.
" This machine changed the way video games were made forever.
It was before Pac-Man, it was just before Space Invaders, And this thing had a line going out the door.
All right, well, what are you looking to get for her? Well, I'm asking $1,100 for the machine.
Ooh, $1,100, really? That's, like, 40,000 quarters.
[laughter.]
You're never going to find another Asteroids In this type of condition maybe in your lifetime.
I don't know, man, $1,100's a lot.
Dude, come on, it could be My christmas and birthday present.
You live and breathe the nostalgia, I mean, What brings you back to the late '70s more than this? I don't disagree, man, but it's a bit pricey though.
Would you take $500? I don't think I'd go that low.
Could you do $1,000? You do realize, like, I could buy an app online For, like, for 99â And play this and not have a monstrosity of a machine Sitting in the middle of my store though.
It's not a monstrosity.
It's a piece of art right here.
Look at that.
You don't get that with the app.
You don't get the true heartbeat with the app.
$650.
That's the best I can do.
I think the lowest I would take for the unit is $900, And I may make you throw in a t-shirt for that, But that's about as low as I'm going.
It's really a nice piece of history.
Excuse me, are you going to buy that? Why? 'cause I might be interested in it.
You want to make an offer on this to Vince? Sure, yes.
Would you be interested in hearing an offer - From some guy off the street? - Certainly.
Certainly, I'm here to sell this machine.
All right, being that you're In the stash now and conducting business, I think it'd be fair, you know, to the Stash.
- That works for me.
- All right, what do you got? I know you wanted a t-shirt, so I'll go $750, And I'll buy you a t-shirt.
Well, if I have to pay a 5% commission, I'm going to have to ask you to come up On your price a little bit.
[inhales.]
I'm saying $850 takes it today And gets him his 5%, and we're out the door.
$775.
I can't go any lower than $825.
I'm stuck at $775.
$800, we have a deal today.
The Stash wants me to have the free t-shirt.
All right.
I'll go $800.
- $800.
- It's a deal.
- Here you go.
- $800 it is.
Don't forget the Stash's $40.
Well, why don't you take $50? You're all right, Vince.
Thank you.
All right.
Thank you.
Make it rain, Vince.
[laughter.]
Let's help you get this into your car.
- Cool.
Thank you.
- All right.
- See you later, guys.
- Thank you.
Bye.
Thanks again.
Hey, how's it going? Got some issues of Spider-Man here.
What if I just took out the one I had A real strong interest in? This one.
That's an oldie right there.
Has anybody ever dreamed About being Jimmy Olsen, Superman's pal? Someone of Superman's stature Considers you his best friend, his pal? If Superman were my friend, I would milk that for as much as I could get out of it.
What's the first thing you'd do? I don't-- you know, I could have him Fly me to anywhere I wanted to go.
Oh, okay, "Hey, Superman, can you be my personal jetliner?" Are you going to sit on his back? What do you do for him? They confide in each other, right? Yes.
He could tell me all his female problems.
Why would you think the world's most perfect man Has female problems? And he depends on Ming for advice.
[laughter.]
- Hi.
- Hey, how's it going? Got some issues of Spider-Man here, it's 11 books.
All right, so you're looking to move all these today? Yeah, if I can.
But what if I just took out the one - I had a real strong interest in? - All right.
The 101, the first Morbius.
Let me just see what it looks like.
Well, right off the bat, it's-- It's oddly cut.
It looks like it's-- Some flaking up there.
Does have some spine damage, But not a bad-looking book, you know? right there.
We had a guy come in with some very key issues-- Amazing Spider-Man 101.
That would be the death of Gwen Stacy? That would be the birth of the Living Vampire.
- Morbius.
- Yes.
Oh, Lord, and why exactly was he "The Living Vampire"? I believe the story goes That the code was in effect, and the code said, You cannot use vampires in your stories-- You can't use the undead in your story.
So Marvel found their way around it by going, "Oh, he's not dead.
He's living.
" He's a scientific vampire created by science.
He has to drink blood, But he's not dead.
[laughter.]
Ingenious way around it, man.
Code's like, "foiled again.
" And he was a cool-looking character too, man.
He had that long hair.
He looked kind of like a partridge, But a bad-ass partridge.
Like a partridge in a pear tree Or like a partridge from The Partridge family? - Like Keith Partridge.
- Yeah.
death of Gwen Stacy.
This one looks all right.
Got a nice - Yeah.
- Punisher first appearance.
Best boots in the business right there.
Only a man can pull off wearing work boots.
Aw, but this one-- Issue 300, first Venom, And I definitely would have an interest In the 9/11 issue of Spider-Man.
That's my favorite comic ever, like, after I read it.
Signed, John Romita Jr.
To commemorate September 11th, Marvel put out a comic book Written by J.
Michael Straczynski, I think.
- Yes.
- A Spider-Man comic.
Drawn by John Romita Jr.
Ah, one of the best, The greatest Spider-Man artists in the business.
And it was a story of, you know, look, Marvel's universe is in Manhattan.
It's in New York.
They don't make up names.
They're a New-York-based universe.
So when September 11th happened, You know, they felt like, "Look, we should comment.
We should do something.
" "We should acknowledge that it happened In our universe too.
" Particularly because it's so-- when you think about, When you read comic books, There's always some major villain Trying to do something horrific To New York, to some community.
So here in real life, something, like, ultra-horrific, So horrific it almost came out of something fictional, Happened, and so they decided to commemorate, Or at least acknowledge it.
Very powerful issue, very poignant.
And, you know, it really was, you know, Just, you know, Spider-Man rocked to the core.
You know, he's very distraught, as, You know, as any other new yorker would be, As anybody on the face of the planet would be, Seeing such devastation and horrific acts.
They're all in pretty solid shape.
They look good.
- But I just want these guys.
- Yeah, you just want those.
- Not interested in those.
- All right.
I'd like $500.
[groans.]
Would you do $400? $475? $425? $455.
$450, cash, you got it.
[suspenseful music.]
Mm.
Sure.
All right, brother.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
$450.
Thank you again.
- Thanks a lot, thanks.
- All right, man.
- Thank you.
- Have a good one.
You guys interested in buying some toys? - Are they vintage? - Yeah, yeah.
- Whoa.
- Settle down.
- Ming.
- Yeah.
What's your feelings on Pufnstuf? [exhales.]
Who's your friend when things get rough? I what are you talking about? [laughter.]
I--I never saw any of that.
I think it was a little bit before-- - You never saw Pufnstuf? - No.
Most of that was before my time, I think.
- Picture this.
- Okay.
You're a little boy in the '70s.
Okay.
You find a magic flute, and you blow in it.
[laughter.]
- Okay.
Get your mind back here at the counter.
Okay, all right.
Magic flute, all right.
And when you blow on it, A magic dragon appears and becomes Your friend and defends you Against a witch called Witchiepoo.
- Okay.
- It's kind of like prison.
[laughter.]
How often do you guys actually go back And re-read your old comics? I go back to certain things almost yearly.
I'm just marveled at how you guys Seem to do it all the time.
Like, you can pull out minute details, Facts, issues, panels-- Stop marveling at me and Mike, And just maybe get your work done.
- I am.
- How's it going, guys? - Fine, how are you? - Good.
You guys want to check out some G.
I.
Joe stuff I brought in? - Yeah, sure.
- Yeah? - Bring it over here.
- Did you say, "G.
I.
Joes"? I did say "G.
I.
Joes.
" why, are you a fan? I am.
Are they vintage? Yeah.
Well, from the '80s.
- No way.
- They're not the 12-inch size.
Whoa.
You know how the NHL has, like, the original six? These are like the original 12.
It's full of the figures that would have been In it in '82, '83.
Yeah.
File cards are there.
These were written by Larry Hama.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Cool thing about this is, Back in the Vietnam era, he was in the military.
He based a lot of these file cards From, like, military guys That he knew that were actually in 'nam.
He also had the little file cards That had little factoids about them-- Where they came from, what their specialties were, What their favorite food was.
- Favorite food? - Yeah.
- How does that play into it? - It just-- - Personalities.
- Oh, yeah? All of a sudden, all these little figures Had, you know, vast personalities.
Ooh, he likes french fries.
So much more fun.
Yeah.
Or, you know, that guy, he was From Cleveland, Ohio.
That's where I was born.
We didn't know what han solo's favorite food was When we were collecting those figures.
That's true, and I felt empty for it.
[laughter.]
G.
I.
Joe, when they re-launched it in '82 With these toys was kind of based on S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
And the bad guys, cobra, were based on - Hydra.
- Hydra.
- What's up, man? - Now you know.
Dad? Hey, son.
[laughter.]
Got some G.
I.
Joes in the house.
No wonder Ming is standing at full attention.
It's funny that--everyone's definition of "bad-ass.
" He has his.
He's like, "this is bad-ass.
" A 2inch figure? [laughter.]
- 3 3/4 inch.
- 3 3/4 inch.
Size means everything, Ming.
[laughter.]
Did you have these when you were a kid? This I wanted, didn't get it though, 'cause this was a high-ticket item.
This was either a birthday or a christmas present.
Yeah, it's pretty cool, man.
- Oh.
- Wow.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
- Oh.
- I'll show you.
So it has wheels that pop out, cockpit comes down.
- Little pilot goes inside there.
- Oh, wow.
You know, they don't make toys like this anymore, man.
Not at all.
Not this in-depth.
This, I remember, When my brother and I found it at the toy store, We actually hugged.
There may have been some tears.
[laughter.]
I think my parents felt sorry for us, that we-- - That you guys were crying.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Tears of joy.
And I think my parents probably felt so bad that they-- - They were just ashamed to see their two sons Crying like blubbering little girls over toys.
They were just like, "let's get them out of here.
" [laughter.]
These can go for a lot of money now.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, I remember the AT-AT From the original Empire Strikes Back.
I wanted it so badly, man.
One christmas, I did get it.
My mother very seriously told me, She was like, "This is from me and dad, "but this set us back a lot, "so this is going to be for christmas, Your birthday, and next christmas," And I didn't even care, dude.
I was just like, "thank you so much.
This is amazing.
" Cut to ten years later, We're having a family chitchat About our favorite toys and whatnot.
Me, my brother, and my sister, Around my parents, and I was talking about, "Then there was that christmas That mom and dad got me the AT-AT.
" My brother goes, "Mom and dad didn't get you the AT-AT.
Aunt Rose got you that AT-AT.
" [all groan.]
- Really? I said, "Wait a second, that came from mom and dad.
" And then mom and dad were like, "We're going to go get some coffee cake in the kitchen.
" And they took cyanide capsules.
[laughter.]
"he knows!" I'm not really interested in the figures, But this I like.
How much you looking for for Night Raven? I could take $175 for the Night Raven.
- $175? - Yeah.
Could you do $75? [exhales.]
Definitely can't go that low at $75.
I could do $150.
Can you do $100? Yeah, I can do $100.
It will look good in the store.
Yo, Joe! Right? - Yep.
- All right.
He's just like, "Give me the money.
" All right.
$100.
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
- Yo, Joe.
- Yo, Joe! - Calm down.
- Come on.
You were going to give him some other kind of "Yo, Joe" The way you were slobbering - What the hell does that mean? - All over everything.
Whoa.
Check it out, man.
- Hey.
- Star Wars fan? - Just a little bit, yeah.
- Holy crap.
Hey, you were around During the first major comics crossover, right? Let me take you back to '76.
America is celebrating the bicentennial.
Okay.
And Marvel and DC Announce the first intercompany crossover, And it was breathtaking.
Spider-Man versus Superman.
What's your favorite crossover? - Be all, end all? - Yeah.
Archie met the Punisher in the '90s.
- [laughing.]
- Yeah.
Did he take him on as an apprentice? No, he came to Riverdale.
I guess some kids were selling some crack or something.
Like, Punisher kicks the door in, Archie's in a crack house, going, "Come on, daddy.
Let me just take a hit off this glass.
" - Whoa, check it out, man.
- Hey.
Holy crap.
Going to see what I can do with this.
Star Wars fan? Just a bit.
Just a little bit, yeah.
So you're looking to move some Battleships today, huh? Yeah.
So you're looking to move all three of these, huh? - Yeah.
- How come? Well, my girlfriend, She lives in England, and I want to fly her over.
It's been six months now over the internet, And I want her to meet my family.
But you know it's love though? I couldn't possibly make this work for six months.
Over the internet if she wasn't-- I remember when I first met my wife.
I would have sold anything like this gentleman If she lived across the pond.
You ever dome some kind of large, romantic gesture.
That's, like, completely out of character for you? You were a part of it.
You proposed to my wife for me.
Oh, my god, that's right.
I was involved.
[laughing.]
Walter wanted to propose to his lady, So his thing was, he was holding up a big sign That said, "Marry me, Debbie.
" I was to simply go into the school, Knock on her door, and to instruct her To look out the window.
So I knock on the door.
I said, "Hi, Deb.
Walter would like you to look out the window.
" And her first response, She goes, "Why?" [laughter.]
He comes sailing off the roof with a noose around his neck.
"This is for you, Damien.
" [laughter.]
What are you looking to get for these three? I'm looking at $750.
Whoa, she's not taking a Starship here, is she? [laughter.]
What's the Millennium Falcon And an Imperial Shuttle And a Starship go for nowadays? I remember picking this one up for, like, $55, $60.
Okay.
I mean, this one's maybe worth around $95 now.
- Imperial Shuttle.
- Maybe about $200.
- So that goes for $200.
- Yeah, the Starship.
Think this one goes probably around the $200 range.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
Never heard that before, right? Oh, very rarely.
Especially at home.
[laughter.]
I could offer you, for these three ships $250.
At $250, I'd have to ship her U.
P.
S.
You know, I got to find something - A little more than that.
- $350.
Is there any way we can do more than $350? Any way, with all the love in your heart? $450.
$600? $500? $550.
[groans.]
No.
Not a chance, brother.
Take $500.
So then $500 it is! Sounds great.
- $500 sounds great.
- All right.
- All right.
- $500.
All right, man, I really hope you don't screw this up, man.
Get her over here.
Get a ring on her finger.
Come back and tell me 20 years from now-- - I spent the money on bath salts.
[laughter.]
- All right.
- Pressure's on.
Can't tell you what this means to me.
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Mike.
- It will go to a good home.
- Thank you.
Good luck.
That's some serious long distance.
It worked for me though.
Me and my wife had a long-distance relationship For, like, three years.
How tough was that? It wasn't easy, and I was going nuts, man.
I never knew you were this, like-- - Yeah.
[laughter.]
I'm going to get you something to take your mind off it.
Okay.
I guess, price these, put 'em up somewhere, And see if we can make back the money at least.
- Okay, all right.
- Thanks.
This is the first one going up.
- He's a freak, ain't he? - Adds "horn dog" to his resume.
[laughter.]
Sex, comic books, hockey-- All the good things come to an end, kids.
Just like this show.
Thanks for hanging out with me and the comic book men.
Until next week.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Don't make us angry.
You wouldn't like us when we're angry.
They ask, you know, "what do you do for a living?" You gotta tell them you work at a comic book store? Yeah, but you get to tell people At least, "I manage a comic book store," Whereas I tell people, "I work under a guy," And they're like, "there are two guys who actually do this?" But did you even realize That you should've been this self-conscious - About your position? - Yeah, seriously.
No, but, I mean, I would've felt like--hey! At least I have a job.
What makes you think I don't have a job? The fact that you live in your mom's basement.
- You really think I live there? - Yes.
- Well, I do, but - [laughter.]
I got things going on, irons in the fire.
You know, the business of being a free spirit.
You're on the dole.
The dole.
[laughter.]
That's an interesting term.
I haven't heard it since this morning When my mom screamed at me when I left.
[exciting music.]
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men, The only show that has the sack to tell you That your crap is worthless, man.
I'm your host Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Okay.
Were there any big-ticket items Coming through the door this week? Biggest ticket and maybe biggest bulk item Was something that generated hours of fun, Tons of commerce and quarters-- Oh! - Hey, how are you? - How you doing? I've got something you may be interested in.
What's that? Oh, you want to come outside and take a look? - It's in the truck.
- You want to come with me? This kind of sounds a little weird.
Is there candy inside? 'cause I'm willing to take a risk.
- [laughs.]
- Why not? - Watch the store.
- Are you ready for this? - I guess so.
- Okay.
Oh, no way! An original Asteroids from 1979.
[spaceship shooting, explosions.]
I haven't seen one of them in years.
It's in good shape.
- Ready to play.
- Where did you get it? I picked this machine out of a hoarder's house.
A hoarder's house? It sat in his second bedroom for 30 years.
It took us almost two hours just to find it.
Wow, you're trying to sell it at a comic book store, huh? Well, I figured you guys gotta do something in your spare time.
- Fair enough.
- You want to see it work? - I'll bring it right inside.
- Awesome, man.
My favorite Asteroids machine in the world is the one At the Highlands Recreation Center Because of Jason Mewes.
So I was reading comics one day, So was Walter, door kicks open.
Jason Mewes marches in.
He immediate proceeds To fellate anything somewhat phallic In the entire recreation center.
Me and Walter look up from our comics, And we're watching him go from thing to thing.
Like, he grabs a flag pole, he grabs a pool stick.
Then he hit the Asteroids machine, And as you know, the Asteroids machine Doesn't have a joystick, It has buttons, so he was sitting there, Looking at it, stymied, 'cause there was nothing to fellate.
And instead, he was just like-- [rolls tongue.]
I said, "I want to hang out with that kid.
" This machine changed the way video games were made forever.
It was before Pac-Man, it was just before Space Invaders, And this thing had a line going out the door.
All right, well, what are you looking to get for her? Well, I'm asking $1,100 for the machine.
Ooh, $1,100, really? That's, like, 40,000 quarters.
[laughter.]
You're never going to find another Asteroids In this type of condition maybe in your lifetime.
I don't know, man, $1,100's a lot.
Dude, come on, it could be My christmas and birthday present.
You live and breathe the nostalgia, I mean, What brings you back to the late '70s more than this? I don't disagree, man, but it's a bit pricey though.
Would you take $500? I don't think I'd go that low.
Could you do $1,000? You do realize, like, I could buy an app online For, like, for 99â And play this and not have a monstrosity of a machine Sitting in the middle of my store though.
It's not a monstrosity.
It's a piece of art right here.
Look at that.
You don't get that with the app.
You don't get the true heartbeat with the app.
$650.
That's the best I can do.
I think the lowest I would take for the unit is $900, And I may make you throw in a t-shirt for that, But that's about as low as I'm going.
It's really a nice piece of history.
Excuse me, are you going to buy that? Why? 'cause I might be interested in it.
You want to make an offer on this to Vince? Sure, yes.
Would you be interested in hearing an offer - From some guy off the street? - Certainly.
Certainly, I'm here to sell this machine.
All right, being that you're In the stash now and conducting business, I think it'd be fair, you know, to the Stash.
- That works for me.
- All right, what do you got? I know you wanted a t-shirt, so I'll go $750, And I'll buy you a t-shirt.
Well, if I have to pay a 5% commission, I'm going to have to ask you to come up On your price a little bit.
[inhales.]
I'm saying $850 takes it today And gets him his 5%, and we're out the door.
$775.
I can't go any lower than $825.
I'm stuck at $775.
$800, we have a deal today.
The Stash wants me to have the free t-shirt.
All right.
I'll go $800.
- $800.
- It's a deal.
- Here you go.
- $800 it is.
Don't forget the Stash's $40.
Well, why don't you take $50? You're all right, Vince.
Thank you.
All right.
Thank you.
Make it rain, Vince.
[laughter.]
Let's help you get this into your car.
- Cool.
Thank you.
- All right.
- See you later, guys.
- Thank you.
Bye.
Thanks again.
Hey, how's it going? Got some issues of Spider-Man here.
What if I just took out the one I had A real strong interest in? This one.
That's an oldie right there.
Has anybody ever dreamed About being Jimmy Olsen, Superman's pal? Someone of Superman's stature Considers you his best friend, his pal? If Superman were my friend, I would milk that for as much as I could get out of it.
What's the first thing you'd do? I don't-- you know, I could have him Fly me to anywhere I wanted to go.
Oh, okay, "Hey, Superman, can you be my personal jetliner?" Are you going to sit on his back? What do you do for him? They confide in each other, right? Yes.
He could tell me all his female problems.
Why would you think the world's most perfect man Has female problems? And he depends on Ming for advice.
[laughter.]
- Hi.
- Hey, how's it going? Got some issues of Spider-Man here, it's 11 books.
All right, so you're looking to move all these today? Yeah, if I can.
But what if I just took out the one - I had a real strong interest in? - All right.
The 101, the first Morbius.
Let me just see what it looks like.
Well, right off the bat, it's-- It's oddly cut.
It looks like it's-- Some flaking up there.
Does have some spine damage, But not a bad-looking book, you know? right there.
We had a guy come in with some very key issues-- Amazing Spider-Man 101.
That would be the death of Gwen Stacy? That would be the birth of the Living Vampire.
- Morbius.
- Yes.
Oh, Lord, and why exactly was he "The Living Vampire"? I believe the story goes That the code was in effect, and the code said, You cannot use vampires in your stories-- You can't use the undead in your story.
So Marvel found their way around it by going, "Oh, he's not dead.
He's living.
" He's a scientific vampire created by science.
He has to drink blood, But he's not dead.
[laughter.]
Ingenious way around it, man.
Code's like, "foiled again.
" And he was a cool-looking character too, man.
He had that long hair.
He looked kind of like a partridge, But a bad-ass partridge.
Like a partridge in a pear tree Or like a partridge from The Partridge family? - Like Keith Partridge.
- Yeah.
death of Gwen Stacy.
This one looks all right.
Got a nice - Yeah.
- Punisher first appearance.
Best boots in the business right there.
Only a man can pull off wearing work boots.
Aw, but this one-- Issue 300, first Venom, And I definitely would have an interest In the 9/11 issue of Spider-Man.
That's my favorite comic ever, like, after I read it.
Signed, John Romita Jr.
To commemorate September 11th, Marvel put out a comic book Written by J.
Michael Straczynski, I think.
- Yes.
- A Spider-Man comic.
Drawn by John Romita Jr.
Ah, one of the best, The greatest Spider-Man artists in the business.
And it was a story of, you know, look, Marvel's universe is in Manhattan.
It's in New York.
They don't make up names.
They're a New-York-based universe.
So when September 11th happened, You know, they felt like, "Look, we should comment.
We should do something.
" "We should acknowledge that it happened In our universe too.
" Particularly because it's so-- when you think about, When you read comic books, There's always some major villain Trying to do something horrific To New York, to some community.
So here in real life, something, like, ultra-horrific, So horrific it almost came out of something fictional, Happened, and so they decided to commemorate, Or at least acknowledge it.
Very powerful issue, very poignant.
And, you know, it really was, you know, Just, you know, Spider-Man rocked to the core.
You know, he's very distraught, as, You know, as any other new yorker would be, As anybody on the face of the planet would be, Seeing such devastation and horrific acts.
They're all in pretty solid shape.
They look good.
- But I just want these guys.
- Yeah, you just want those.
- Not interested in those.
- All right.
I'd like $500.
[groans.]
Would you do $400? $475? $425? $455.
$450, cash, you got it.
[suspenseful music.]
Mm.
Sure.
All right, brother.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
$450.
Thank you again.
- Thanks a lot, thanks.
- All right, man.
- Thank you.
- Have a good one.
You guys interested in buying some toys? - Are they vintage? - Yeah, yeah.
- Whoa.
- Settle down.
- Ming.
- Yeah.
What's your feelings on Pufnstuf? [exhales.]
Who's your friend when things get rough? I what are you talking about? [laughter.]
I--I never saw any of that.
I think it was a little bit before-- - You never saw Pufnstuf? - No.
Most of that was before my time, I think.
- Picture this.
- Okay.
You're a little boy in the '70s.
Okay.
You find a magic flute, and you blow in it.
[laughter.]
- Okay.
Get your mind back here at the counter.
Okay, all right.
Magic flute, all right.
And when you blow on it, A magic dragon appears and becomes Your friend and defends you Against a witch called Witchiepoo.
- Okay.
- It's kind of like prison.
[laughter.]
How often do you guys actually go back And re-read your old comics? I go back to certain things almost yearly.
I'm just marveled at how you guys Seem to do it all the time.
Like, you can pull out minute details, Facts, issues, panels-- Stop marveling at me and Mike, And just maybe get your work done.
- I am.
- How's it going, guys? - Fine, how are you? - Good.
You guys want to check out some G.
I.
Joe stuff I brought in? - Yeah, sure.
- Yeah? - Bring it over here.
- Did you say, "G.
I.
Joes"? I did say "G.
I.
Joes.
" why, are you a fan? I am.
Are they vintage? Yeah.
Well, from the '80s.
- No way.
- They're not the 12-inch size.
Whoa.
You know how the NHL has, like, the original six? These are like the original 12.
It's full of the figures that would have been In it in '82, '83.
Yeah.
File cards are there.
These were written by Larry Hama.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
Cool thing about this is, Back in the Vietnam era, he was in the military.
He based a lot of these file cards From, like, military guys That he knew that were actually in 'nam.
He also had the little file cards That had little factoids about them-- Where they came from, what their specialties were, What their favorite food was.
- Favorite food? - Yeah.
- How does that play into it? - It just-- - Personalities.
- Oh, yeah? All of a sudden, all these little figures Had, you know, vast personalities.
Ooh, he likes french fries.
So much more fun.
Yeah.
Or, you know, that guy, he was From Cleveland, Ohio.
That's where I was born.
We didn't know what han solo's favorite food was When we were collecting those figures.
That's true, and I felt empty for it.
[laughter.]
G.
I.
Joe, when they re-launched it in '82 With these toys was kind of based on S.
H.
I.
E.
L.
D.
And the bad guys, cobra, were based on - Hydra.
- Hydra.
- What's up, man? - Now you know.
Dad? Hey, son.
[laughter.]
Got some G.
I.
Joes in the house.
No wonder Ming is standing at full attention.
It's funny that--everyone's definition of "bad-ass.
" He has his.
He's like, "this is bad-ass.
" A 2inch figure? [laughter.]
- 3 3/4 inch.
- 3 3/4 inch.
Size means everything, Ming.
[laughter.]
Did you have these when you were a kid? This I wanted, didn't get it though, 'cause this was a high-ticket item.
This was either a birthday or a christmas present.
Yeah, it's pretty cool, man.
- Oh.
- Wow.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
- Oh.
- I'll show you.
So it has wheels that pop out, cockpit comes down.
- Little pilot goes inside there.
- Oh, wow.
You know, they don't make toys like this anymore, man.
Not at all.
Not this in-depth.
This, I remember, When my brother and I found it at the toy store, We actually hugged.
There may have been some tears.
[laughter.]
I think my parents felt sorry for us, that we-- - That you guys were crying.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Tears of joy.
And I think my parents probably felt so bad that they-- - They were just ashamed to see their two sons Crying like blubbering little girls over toys.
They were just like, "let's get them out of here.
" [laughter.]
These can go for a lot of money now.
Oh, yeah.
It's like, I remember the AT-AT From the original Empire Strikes Back.
I wanted it so badly, man.
One christmas, I did get it.
My mother very seriously told me, She was like, "This is from me and dad, "but this set us back a lot, "so this is going to be for christmas, Your birthday, and next christmas," And I didn't even care, dude.
I was just like, "thank you so much.
This is amazing.
" Cut to ten years later, We're having a family chitchat About our favorite toys and whatnot.
Me, my brother, and my sister, Around my parents, and I was talking about, "Then there was that christmas That mom and dad got me the AT-AT.
" My brother goes, "Mom and dad didn't get you the AT-AT.
Aunt Rose got you that AT-AT.
" [all groan.]
- Really? I said, "Wait a second, that came from mom and dad.
" And then mom and dad were like, "We're going to go get some coffee cake in the kitchen.
" And they took cyanide capsules.
[laughter.]
"he knows!" I'm not really interested in the figures, But this I like.
How much you looking for for Night Raven? I could take $175 for the Night Raven.
- $175? - Yeah.
Could you do $75? [exhales.]
Definitely can't go that low at $75.
I could do $150.
Can you do $100? Yeah, I can do $100.
It will look good in the store.
Yo, Joe! Right? - Yep.
- All right.
He's just like, "Give me the money.
" All right.
$100.
- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.
- Yo, Joe.
- Yo, Joe! - Calm down.
- Come on.
You were going to give him some other kind of "Yo, Joe" The way you were slobbering - What the hell does that mean? - All over everything.
Whoa.
Check it out, man.
- Hey.
- Star Wars fan? - Just a little bit, yeah.
- Holy crap.
Hey, you were around During the first major comics crossover, right? Let me take you back to '76.
America is celebrating the bicentennial.
Okay.
And Marvel and DC Announce the first intercompany crossover, And it was breathtaking.
Spider-Man versus Superman.
What's your favorite crossover? - Be all, end all? - Yeah.
Archie met the Punisher in the '90s.
- [laughing.]
- Yeah.
Did he take him on as an apprentice? No, he came to Riverdale.
I guess some kids were selling some crack or something.
Like, Punisher kicks the door in, Archie's in a crack house, going, "Come on, daddy.
Let me just take a hit off this glass.
" - Whoa, check it out, man.
- Hey.
Holy crap.
Going to see what I can do with this.
Star Wars fan? Just a bit.
Just a little bit, yeah.
So you're looking to move some Battleships today, huh? Yeah.
So you're looking to move all three of these, huh? - Yeah.
- How come? Well, my girlfriend, She lives in England, and I want to fly her over.
It's been six months now over the internet, And I want her to meet my family.
But you know it's love though? I couldn't possibly make this work for six months.
Over the internet if she wasn't-- I remember when I first met my wife.
I would have sold anything like this gentleman If she lived across the pond.
You ever dome some kind of large, romantic gesture.
That's, like, completely out of character for you? You were a part of it.
You proposed to my wife for me.
Oh, my god, that's right.
I was involved.
[laughing.]
Walter wanted to propose to his lady, So his thing was, he was holding up a big sign That said, "Marry me, Debbie.
" I was to simply go into the school, Knock on her door, and to instruct her To look out the window.
So I knock on the door.
I said, "Hi, Deb.
Walter would like you to look out the window.
" And her first response, She goes, "Why?" [laughter.]
He comes sailing off the roof with a noose around his neck.
"This is for you, Damien.
" [laughter.]
What are you looking to get for these three? I'm looking at $750.
Whoa, she's not taking a Starship here, is she? [laughter.]
What's the Millennium Falcon And an Imperial Shuttle And a Starship go for nowadays? I remember picking this one up for, like, $55, $60.
Okay.
I mean, this one's maybe worth around $95 now.
- Imperial Shuttle.
- Maybe about $200.
- So that goes for $200.
- Yeah, the Starship.
Think this one goes probably around the $200 range.
Well, I'm glad you're here.
Never heard that before, right? Oh, very rarely.
Especially at home.
[laughter.]
I could offer you, for these three ships $250.
At $250, I'd have to ship her U.
P.
S.
You know, I got to find something - A little more than that.
- $350.
Is there any way we can do more than $350? Any way, with all the love in your heart? $450.
$600? $500? $550.
[groans.]
No.
Not a chance, brother.
Take $500.
So then $500 it is! Sounds great.
- $500 sounds great.
- All right.
- All right.
- $500.
All right, man, I really hope you don't screw this up, man.
Get her over here.
Get a ring on her finger.
Come back and tell me 20 years from now-- - I spent the money on bath salts.
[laughter.]
- All right.
- Pressure's on.
Can't tell you what this means to me.
- Thank you.
- Thanks, Mike.
- It will go to a good home.
- Thank you.
Good luck.
That's some serious long distance.
It worked for me though.
Me and my wife had a long-distance relationship For, like, three years.
How tough was that? It wasn't easy, and I was going nuts, man.
I never knew you were this, like-- - Yeah.
[laughter.]
I'm going to get you something to take your mind off it.
Okay.
I guess, price these, put 'em up somewhere, And see if we can make back the money at least.
- Okay, all right.
- Thanks.
This is the first one going up.
- He's a freak, ain't he? - Adds "horn dog" to his resume.
[laughter.]
Sex, comic books, hockey-- All the good things come to an end, kids.
Just like this show.
Thanks for hanging out with me and the comic book men.
Until next week.
I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Don't make us angry.
You wouldn't like us when we're angry.