Comic Book Men s04e11 Episode Script

Did you guys ever see the odd couple? - I love the odd couple.
- If two superheroes had to live together, which would be the oddest couple of all time? - Hmm.
- Ooh.
I mean, isn't Batman-Joker the obvious one? - Superheroes! - All right! Superman-Batman seems to be you know, they look like they would probably butt heads.
Mike, I know you've seen it.
- Yes, of course.
- Come on, school him.
I would do Human Torch and Aquaman.
- See how easy it is? - Right? All right, come on.
All right, what about Oh, man.
Look at him thinking.
You can hear the wheels churning in there.
You can hear the birds chirping.
All right, how about Captain America and Swamp Thing? Okay, on the right track.
Why? Captain America upstanding citizen, seems like maybe a neat freak.
Doesn't live in a swamp.
Doesn't live in a swamp.
Swamp Thing, you know Does live in a swamp.
Hello, and welcome to another episode of Comic Book Men.
The only show that'll carry you around like Hodor.
- I'm your host, Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
- What's been going on in the fat man's comic books store this week? What would you say if I told you one of the greatest toy mysteries of all time was solved? - Good afternoon, guys.
- Hey, how you doing? - How's it going - Good.
I got one of the rarest Star Wars action figures in existence.
- Really? - Yes.
You can accurately say "holy grail" for this item, hands down.
You gonna show us? Yes.
Ready? Let's see.
Wow, is that what I think it is? This is a rocket-firing Boba Fett action figure from Kenner toys.
No way.
These are not supposed to exist.
Why is it not supposed to exist? Battlestar Galactica made a toy, and it shot a missile, and a child breathed it in, and he died.
And so a Kenner attorney said, "we can't have this, because it's going to be a swallowing risk for kids.
" So that's why this got canceled.
This one was just about to be released.
- How did you get this? - This actually came from an engineer at Kenner Toys.
He just kept it in his drawer for all these years.
This is crazy.
The crown jewel in the lost toys of history.
So rare that, until now, - it was, like, urban legend.
- Oh, yeah.
Up until that point in the '70s, you could endanger a child through toys as much as you wanted.
Nobody really ever thought twice about it, but I had, for my entire childhood, the Boba Fett that didn't shoot a rocket out, and I turned out just fine.
I mean, you know, I'm a little heavy.
Maybe I would've been thinner if I had a rocket-firing one, but that's about it.
You would've had to walk over after you fired it, go get the missile, put it back in.
The exercise, exactly! I would've been a healthier kid.
Was he your favorite character? Yeah, I mean, just look.
Look at his mask.
His eyes are just looking right at you.
Don't mess with Fett.
Why do you think Boba Fett has lasted so long as the coolest, most badass character out of the Star Wars? It's the design of that costume is so badass.
- He was the coolest - Looking bounty hunter the Wookiee scalps, right? The Wookiee scalps are cool, yeah, hanging off his belt.
You could get a badass rep around your neighborhood if you were walking around with, like, squirrel scalps on your belt.
If that figure wasn't Boba Fett let's say it was a Lobot Lando Calrissian's bald buddy with the headphones.
Would it be as sought after? No.
Lobot wore a blouse.
Right then and there you're gonna have a hard time.
I can't imagine why that would be worth something, but Boba Fett still maintains an insane amount of popularity.
You know, nobody's sitting there going, "bossk forever," or "I'm an IG-88 booster.
" You know, it all comes down to Boba Fett.
Who's that tubby guy with the bandages around his head? Dengar.
That was my hero when I was a kid.
The only fat man in the Star Wars universe.
I said, "mom, I want to be Dengar when I grow up.
" You already are.
You'll see I have a letter of authenticity.
It's graded at 85 out of 100.
This is legitimate.
All right, what do you need to get for it? Take a deep breath.
$50,000.
- How much? - $50,000? Is it really worth that much? I think that's a bargain.
You cannot find this.
It's a number that, if I sold it for, I wouldn't have seller's remorse.
I feel like I have listener's remorse.
That's a lot.
Wow.
I don't have anywhere to go with that.
I mean, I would need to go to a higher-up, a higher authority.
You don't keep $50k in old Betsy? You know, if you can't run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.
I guess I'm on the porch.
Under the porch, piddling yourself.
No, I'm sorry.
I can't do it.
No problem, no problem.
- Thanks.
- You're very welcome.
All right, guys, take care.
Take care.
- Good luck with that.
- Hey, Walt, did you ever meet my buddy Butch Patrick? - Eddie Munster.
- That'd be me, Butch Patrick.
Yeah.
Afternoon.
Hey, Walt, did you ever meet my buddy Butch Patrick? Eddie Munster.
That'd be me, Butch Patrick.
Yeah.
We're doing a con this weekend up north, and I just wanted to bring him by.
I know how much a big fan of the Munsters you are, man.
Oh, my God.
Eddie Munster, butch Patrick, came into the store? Yeah, he's actually friends with Rob Bruce.
Oh.
Get out of here.
Have you ever wished that maybe you could've been friends with a TV character? Absolutely.
Samantha from Bewitched.
More than friends? Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean, a best friend, though, 'cause, like, when I was growing up, mine was Eddie Munster.
Eddie Munster? That was yours? Yeah.
He was a cool kid.
He had the best parents.
He lived in the coolest house on the block.
If I lived in the same neighborhood with Eddie Munster, me and him would've been good pals.
- So your TV friend is Rob Bruce's real - Life friend? This is great I've been wanting to see this place for a long time.
It's a privilege and an honor to, I mean, have you walk in the stash.
I mean, I'm a gigantic fan.
- He's actually a little tongue - Tied.
- Told you.
- I really am.
I mean, I don't want to weird you out or anything or creep you out, but, I mean, I can't tell you how many afternoons as a kid I spent, like, daydreaming, you know, that, like, me and you were best friends, 'cause, like, it seemed like you had the greatest house and the greatest childhood being a munster.
It was a good thing to be part of something that's affected so many people in a positive way.
I used to think more about Marilyn than you.
I mean, not to disparage another TV show, but, like, there was the Addams family, - and there was the Munsters.
- Right.
Addams family couldn't hold a candle to the Munsters.
I didn't want to hang out with Pugsley, but I wanted to hang out with you.
I just wanted to be a munster.
I felt there was two camps back then.
Either you were I know what you're gonna say.
- A Munsters - Or? Or you were the Addams family guy.
It's true.
Addams family always felt like your dad's creepy show, whereas the Munsters felt like your creepy show, 'cause you're like, never mind, like, you know, these people who are like, "we're a little ooky and strange.
" This is.
.
His dad is Frankenstein! I felt like the Munsters, there was a feeling of true family love in there, whereas the Addams family didn't really have a soul.
Made the Brady bunch look like a bunch of hatemongers.
You know what? Would you mind if we brought over I have a Munsters magazine - up at the front.
- No, sure.
Could you go grab that munster magazine for me? - Absolutely.
It's up front? - It's up front.
Go on, spot.
What about the Dragula.
Did you ever take a ride in the Dragula? You got to remember, I was only 11 and 12 back then.
Now, I drove the munster coach, you know, as an adult, but I never drove the Dragula, no.
- Oh.
- Monster world number two, huh? You know '64, '65, monster magazines really hot.
Obviously the Munsters was driving that, so they get their own issue issue number two.
I mean, the show's been very good to me.
The fans are the best.
The people come out.
It's a show that kids can watch today, and they like it.
They think the TV's broken, 'cause it's in black and white.
But once they get past that, they really enjoy it, and the grandkids and the grandparents watch it together.
I mean, yeah I mean, I've tried to take some of that father-son dynamic that Eddie and Herman had.
I try to instill that message with my own kids, even today.
I thought you were gonna say these two.
- And it works too.
- It was good stuff.
I'm really happy to have been part of it.
I mean, what a time to be a Monster fan that mid '60s era.
This is a great book, by the way.
This is funny.
This is the woof woof doll this was the most popular picture over the years, - I still use today.
- Did they let you keep Wolfie? I didn't get him till about six years later.
The prop master took me aside, and said, "here, take this home with you and don't show anybody.
" And lo and behold, I open it up, and it was woof woof.
I even wound up getting a suit recently.
My mom found it, believe it or not.
That's what I had on display at the comic con we just came from.
You have one of the suits with you? Would you like to see the suit? I See at a minimum, wear at a maximum.
- I'll be right back.
- All right.
- Oh, he still has it? - Yeah.
- But he don't wear it now.
- No, it's tiny.
Can you imagine that moment, though, where he's like, "I'm gonna play a werewolf? Cool.
Where's the outfit? Oh.
" Yeah, it's like a little jacket and, like, short pants.
I get beat up a lot, I guess.
I present thee, Eddie Munster's suit.
- Wow! - One of them.
This is the 12-year-old version.
Seen probably better days, but it's the real deal.
- Can I touch it? - Yes, of course, of course.
No problem.
So is this the original - color and everything? - Yep.
So, you know, it was black and white, so you didn't know.
I didn't think it was so brown.
In the color movie, it was a purple suit.
But during the shooting of the show, it was this, like, this mushroom color.
But that was probably the worst part of the show, 'cause I thought it was, like, a sissy suit.
You know, knee socks and a little bow tie and a little lord fauntleroy suit.
That was the coolest outfit ever.
I'm not kidding around, man.
So I could show up to school in Lily's gown and be less, like, a target than you would be wearing that.
Oh, I disagree, man.
People really get a kick out of it.
It's amazing, 50 years later, you know, grandparents watching it with their grandkids.
It's inspired a lot of people like yourself, and they don't say, "it's one of my favorite shows.
" They'll say, "man, that was my favorite show.
I mean, that was it.
" Hey, butch, it's getting a little late.
We got to get you to the airport.
We got to get you on an airplane.
- Really? - Yeah, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Time's short.
On the fly.
It was a pleasure, though.
Thank you so much for coming down it was a pleasure.
- No, thank you guys.
- Robert, thank you.
I have to take my suit.
I hope you don't mind.
It's leaving! Bye-bye, guys.
Take care.
I'll see you all later.
See you later, guys.
So, tell me how does Robert have a friend of that magnitude and he doesn't brag about it? Because I think "friend" translates into "driver.
" Notice he has to take him to the airport, so Hey, guys, I called in earlier about preacher issue number one.
- Here you go.
- Thank you so much.
I have here the T-Rex from the original movie Jurassic Park.
Do you remember the summer of 1993 when it came out? - Changed my life forever.
- I wanted to see if you guys might be interested in that.
Did you ever wonder, "why was Eddie Munster a werewolf boy?" I mean, his dad was Frankenstein.
So you got an undead father and a vampire mother, and somehow that equals werewolf boy.
Maybe there's some key party at the Munsters', and Lily winds up with some werewolf friend of theirs.
That's what I thought.
That or a recessive gene.
How about the most obvious answer adoption? - You know? - Oh, excellent point.
How do you have a child with a man who's dead? Like, Herman couldn't father children they adopted one.
Why wouldn't he be able to father a child? Well, Herman is a Frankenstein monster.
- Right.
- So I think when you're putting the man back together, the last thing I think you include is, like, the testicles.
I don't think, like, Dr.
Frankenstein was, like see, for a man, that's the first thing you start with.
Do you think superheroes have a threshold for crime, that they won't intervene? Like, "eh, someone else will get that"? I think any crime where there's a victim, a superhero is obligated to stop it.
Identity theft.
- Identity theft? Seriously? - Yeah, right.
Why not? It happened to me.
Some P.
O.
S.
Was charging all electronics on my credit card.
I wish Superman would shake him around a little bit.
I'd just feel bad for him.
Where he's like, "I got saved from Krypton for this?" He's like, "my dad saved me as the last, lone surviving member of Krypton, and this is what I'm doing now?" "Superman, Superman, doomsday's destroying Metropolis!" "Oh, no, there's some guy he got some bogus charges on his credit card.
" He got a free iPod off Walt Flanagan.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi.
I called in earlier about preacher issue number one.
Yes, I put it behind the counter for you.
- Thank you.
- Here you go.
Thank you so much.
So why preacher? You may not be able to tell by looking at me, but I grew up in a really conservative, religious household.
- What was the religion? - Pentecostal.
- Oh.
- Oh, like snake-handlers? I'm sure in the south, but I didn't see any of that growing up.
So you're related like, in the book, it's a lot of fire and brimstone.
You know, everyone was telling me one way to believe and think, and so I got into preacher because this challenges the idea of, you know, a system that you've been forced to learn.
And Jesse ouster is just going against the grain with that.
Preacher, written by the great Garth Ennis and drawn by the wonderful Steve Dillon, was a landmark book.
The reverend Jesse ouster, who is struck by, - what, the voice of God? - The word of God.
The word of God.
That was it.
And he's given somewhat superpowers, of course, powers of the lord.
Takes it upon himself to go out and hold God accountable for the world that he made and walked away from.
As a guy raised in a faith I was raised catholic, so reading preacher was like looking at playboy magazine when you were a kid, because it was just so "sacrilicious.
" Yeah.
You don't know how long I've been waiting to get my hands back on this.
Two years ago, I had a really bad flood in my basement apartment.
I lost everything, including the entire collection of preacher.
I actually lost all my comics in Sandy.
- Oh, really? Same here.
- Yeah.
So you know exactly how I feel.
I empathize completely with you.
You know, I just had to start, you know, over.
So it took two years, because I had to work.
I had to make extra money, so I can start rebuilding things and move, and, you know, now I'm up to trying to rebuild my comic collection.
I felt really bad for her.
- This was her first book - Mm-hmm.
Back into comics.
Journey of a million miles begins with a single copy of preacher number one.
Right.
I guess two years after the flood, you're probably in the mind-set now of like, "okay, I've taken care of all the important things.
What were the things that simply made me happy?" And that's obviously something that really did it for her.
She and Mike bonded, for sure, a little bit more than I thought they should've.
They had the flood to bond over, man.
A little jealousy going on here, a little competition.
I wish I got some stuff ruined in the hurricane.
I got left out of that club.
So we're asking $199.
95 But for you, because I can help you with you first step towards rebuilding - your comic book collection - Right.
How does $165 sound? - That's perfect.
- Sold.
- Thank you so much.
- Not at all.
And for you.
- And one last thing.
- Yes? Can I give you a hug? - Absolutely! - Thank you! - Oh, thank you.
- You're welcome.
The way I see it, he had to give her $30 to hug him.
Yeah.
- How's it going, guys? - Oh, hey, how you doing? - Good.
How are you? - I have here the T-Rex from the original movie Jurassic Park.
Oh, look at that.
- How's it going, guys? - Oh, hey, how you doing? - Good.
How are you? - Oh, look at that.
I have here the t-Rex from the original movie Jurassic Park I wanted to see if you guys might be interested in that.
Oh, I remember that, right? Do you remember the summer of '93 when that came out? Changed my life forever.
Before that, you know, dinosaur movies were all stop-motion.
It kind of took you out of it.
Well, correct me if I'm wrong, unless you were dabbling in stop-motion movies, how did it change your life, then? Just seeing that on the screen.
Right, I mean, how did you walk out of that theater after seeing it and be like, "my life's changed.
I'm going to do," what? See it again.
Did you play with dinosaurs as a kid little plastic dinosaurs? I had 'em.
Absolutely, of course.
Boys and girls everyone's imagination is captured by a dinosaur.
My wife's a teacher.
She says all school year long, they're just waiting to learn about dinosaurs.
It's the only thing that captures their attention throughout the whole school year.
Nothing can break their concentration when she's talking about dinosaurs.
So she uses them to teach everything, where she's like "so then the dinosaurs signed the declaration of independence.
" They're like "aah! Did they eat somebody?" "Of course.
" I'm dying to ask you this question.
Okay.
- If there was a real - Life Jurassic Park right now - Okay.
- Would you go? Well, just like any zoo I've ever been to, I guarantee you, you pay this exorbitant amount of money to get in there, you wouldn't see one dinosaur.
You'd be like, "oh, well, where is it? Oh, I can't find it.
" He's sleeping.
Yeah, he's sleeping, and he's behind that tree, and you never saw him.
You'd pay your 10 grand to go into Jurassic Park, and you'd be all like, "well, it smelled horrible, but I didn't see any dinosaurs.
" You're right.
You going? Not first week.
I saw the movies.
I want to wait until it's vetted, tested, they've been up and running for about a year, but at that point, yeah.
I mean, should we, as a species, be bringing back creatures that, you know, don't belong in our era? Yeah, but at the same time, if they could bring back a dinosaur, then they could start bringing back our favorite shows, man.
Like Roseanne, firefly, all those shows that get canceled that we like.
All right, so why are you looking to sell it today? I have so many items, and this is an item that I think is very popular right now.
You know, the movie's gonna be coming out next year.
Oh, they're making a new Jurassic Park? They are making another Jurassic Park movie and So what do you think? Does it interest you? Well, first off, what are you looking to get for it? I'd like to get $300 for it.
$300? Does this piece go for that much? - Absolutely.
- I don't remember these being that collectible, even back when they came out in '93.
What makes it worth $300? Well, if you're dealing with kids that were nine, ten years old that are now 25, 30, and they're looking to get their childhood back.
Nostalgia sells.
I remember this.
Whoa, $300! I mean, not to insult you, but it's just the fact that it's not something we would carry usually in the stash.
If I try to put $300 on this, it becomes a permanent fixture here.
- Okay.
- Just sitting here forever at that price.
I can't pull the trigger on anywhere near what you're looking for.
- All right, well - I'm sorry.
Listen, I appreciate your time.
- Have a nice day.
- See you later.
Favorite dinosaur? I guess, like, T-Rex from Jurassic Park.
Probably the most believable-looking dinosaur I've ever seen.
Yeah, I was gonna say I thought, you know, Barney.
The richest dinosaur we know.
No, that's the most punchable dinosaur.
Oh, the all-seeing Eye of Agamotto has blinked, and the show is over, man.
For Comic Book Men, I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Wookiee fur is murder, kids, so always use Ewok instead.
Good night.