Comic Book Men s05e03 Episode Script
The Captain and the Clerk
I was watching "Taxi Driver" last night.
- Such a good movie.
- Oh, yeah.
I don't do a lot of impressions, but De Niro, I think I-I could pull off.
Okay, let's hear it.
Are you talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Your voice progressively got higher until you sounded like Steve Urkel.
Let me hear your De Niro.
You talkin' to me? You must be talkin' to me.
There's nobody else here.
'Cause I'm impressed.
Yeah, he definitely had a little bit more menacing, creepy vibe to him.
- How about Mike? - All right, how about this? You talkin' to me? I don't see nobody else here.
You talkin' to me? Talkin' to me, wise guy? That's awesome! I had chills.
Come on, De Niro doesn't play it like he's Italian.
He plays it very flat affect.
He's like You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? I don't see nobody else around here.
" - More flat.
- That was real flat.
- Yeah.
- Well, at least I'm not like You talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Who are you talkin' to? Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that's smart enough to keep Scooby Doo away from Groot.
- I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
- Okay.
What, pray tell, did the Stash unearth this week? Something came in the other day that wasn't comic book related, but comic strip related.
Mm.
How you doin'? Hey, what's happening? I have some, uh, Hungerford figures.
I was looking to see if you guys might be interested in 'em.
Hungerford? Yeah, they were the first figures actually of, uh, the "Peanuts" characters.
That one is Linus, Charlie Brown, and Lucy.
Oh, my God.
I've never seen these before.
It's actually the original version of them and the first toys that actually ever came out.
From, what is it, 1950, 1940 something? - You a big "Peanuts" fan? - Yeah.
- Who's your favorite peanut? - It would have to be Linus.
- Really? - Yeah.
He's missing something, isn't he? That's that's why he's my favorite.
I actually still have my baby blanket from when I was a kid, so Wait a minute.
You still carry it around? I mean, well, you still - I still own it.
- You still own it.
But you don't actually use it, right? Uh, you know, here and there.
Who knows? Wow.
Did you guys have a blanket? Blanket, no.
I did have a Snoopy, though, like, a plush, - and I still have him.
- Oh, cool.
And I used to carry him around by the neck.
So his neck is about that skinny now.
Hearing your stories about your father, I thought he would've thrown it into an incinerator.
Well, no, I learned it from him.
He used to carry me around by my neck like that.
I mean, I think it's pretty painfully obvious that, like, you know, Bry is the Charlie Brown of the Stash.
You are Charlie Brown, my friend.
Better hair.
Yes, you're making out better than Charlie Brown that way, but everything else, it's a big zigzag across your chest.
I like to see myself as Snoopy.
I'll be honest with you.
Maybe that's a little showy, but so am I.
- Walt? - I I'm at a loss.
Pigpen.
He's a Lucy.
Totally! Oh, my God, he's absolutely right.
Lucy was about pulling the football away from Charlie Brown.
You're a little bit younger than us.
I don't know if you could really understand how important the "Peanuts" strip was.
I mean, it wasn't a holiday unless there was a "Peanuts" animated special.
If you missed the Thanksgiving one, it didn't feel like Thanksgiving.
Even though you knew exactly what was gonna happen 'cause you'd seen it the year before.
Did you guys feel sad reading the strips or watching the cartoons? 'Cause they were so brutal to poor Charlie Brown.
Yeah, like, in this day and age, with bullying and stuff, it would not be allowed.
They bullied him.
They definitely bullied him.
It seemed like the poor kid never won.
You know, if Snoopy wasn't in there giving up some levity, you really would want to just go into the bathroom and blow your head off after watching those "Peanuts" episodes.
For as much as we have affection for "Peanuts," was it geared for kids? Because when you look back at it now, you're like, "There's some real underlying themes going on here.
" It's about a boy with depression, whose friends don't make it any better.
And it wasn't just Charlie Brown who was flawed or broken.
It was like Linus, OCD.
Yes, and Lucy who has a personality disorder that makes her hyper-aggressive.
- The dirty one.
- Pigpen.
Hygiene issues.
Snoopy, uh, was the most normal, well-adjusted of them all.
Didn't he also have delusions that he was a World War I flying ace, though? So I don't know how normal that dog really was.
All right, so you're looking to sell all three of them? - Yep.
- Okay.
I'm definitely interested.
What are you looking to get for 'em? $135.
- $135? - Mm-hmm.
See, I don't know much about them, though.
I don't know what they really go for in today's market.
I have seen these go for, I think, about $125 for the three.
And that's retail.
- So we got to make money.
- Right, right.
I mean, what about, like, $110? Wow.
How about $100? They'll sell fast.
I mean, they're "Peanuts.
" Yeah, they're all the rage these days.
I mean, I think every day you lose a "Peanut" fan.
$75 is the best I can do.
Well Let's do it.
All right, got a deal.
$60, $75.
- Thanks, man.
- All right, thanks.
- Have a good day, guys.
- Take it easy.
I'm gonna tell you guys about stuff that happened to me this week.
- Mr.
Shatner - Bill, Bill.
I got something here that I guarantee you won't see again.
Oh, the most horrifying of the Megos.
We're gonna do something different right now.
I'm gonna tell you guys a story about stuff that happened to me this week.
There's some figures that loom so large in the genre world, man, if there was a Mount Rushmore of geeks, their face would be on it, okay? I got a phone call, and they were like, "William Shatner would like to talk to you about his comic book project on 'Comic Book Men.
'" You got to talk to Captain Kirk? Yes, yes.
It was a rare opportunity, and when a legend knocks, you answer the door, man.
Mr.
Shatner, I've - Bill, Bill.
- Bill.
So, Bill, we're gonna talk about "Man O' War," the cinematic graphic novel.
But before we dive into that, I just want to give you a little propers.
Aside from the body of work that everybody knows, this is what I've always dug about you.
You're a renaissance man.
You acted.
You've won Emmy's and stuff, but you've always jumped outside, whether it's writing or just Like, I look back at your history, and there's never a period - where you weren't busy.
- Yes.
You're a guy who's never content to just be like, "All right, I'm done.
" Like, you've never When do you sit back? When do you rest? Well, I mean, what are you gonna do? I mean, you know, you can't sit like the Sphinx.
The Sphinx has got to get up, right.
- Well, I've tried.
- Right.
Right.
So I'm busy in all those things that I'm passionate about.
I compete on horses.
I ride competitively.
Really? I'm traveling and directing documentaries.
I love to make documentaries.
The discovery Like you and I are discovering each other now That discovery is like an act of creation.
Yeah.
And when am I gonna say, "Stop," you know? What I'm gonna say is, "My fingers don't bend as much as they used to.
" - What accounts for, uh - I don't know.
Besides talent? 'Cause talent definitely outs, and that'll take you far.
Well, it takes you a certain way, but luck is huge.
But time and time again, people just come to you and be like, "Let's go on a journey.
" And like the character you played, you've gone on journeys.
I just came back from doing 2,400 miles on a motorcycle.
I went from Chicago to Los Angeles on a bike that I helped design.
It's called "Rivet.
" R-I-V-E-T.
American Wrench was the name of the company that I "partnershipped" with in making this unique design.
The bike, which was beautifully designed, didn't work.
- Really? - Yeah, some stuff went wrong.
So we We present it to 150 people in the media.
Here we are.
And I get on, and I can't go.
The engine, which is a revs up, but it won't move.
This is a Kobayashi Maru.
What do you do? We rent a bike.
My wife gets on the back, and off we go.
We truck the Rivet to each city.
We tell everybody, "Look at this.
We're working on it.
" And we make the eight days.
Dude, you don't believe in the no-win scenario.
Well, that's exactly it.
Now, you've gone on to meet a lot of people in your career as a filmmaker, but could seven-year-old Kevin Smith ever imagine meeting Captain Kirk? No, seven-year-old Kevin Smith would've been like "I don't like Captain Kirk.
This show is boring.
" Until I got older and would come to appreciate what "Star Trek" was Just the performance levels of all those actors on "Star Trek.
" It's insanely well written, insanely well acted.
How intimidating was it to be in the same room with the Captain the Captain? I'll be honest with you, man, like, number one, he's he's iconic, not just from Kirk, but ever since I've been alive, William Shatner has been William Shatner.
You know, "The Shat.
" Does he like to be referred to as "The Shat"? No, not at all.
I learned that pretty quickly.
Now, I don't think I've ever seen one on a card, though.
This is perhaps the only one you'll ever see.
I've had people looking for 20 years - and never even seen one.
- Wow.
The cinematic graphic novel, which is a new concept.
It's a comic book, it's an animated film, but it's neither.
It's phenomenal.
"Star Trek: Wrath of Khan" one of my favorite movies of all time.
The funeral for Spock, where Captain Kirk gives the eulogy, is one of my favorite performance moments in anything Movies, TV, theater, anything I've made myself.
It is perfect, because you're talking about two military men who've spent years together, you know, on a 5-year mission through space and more.
And his friend has died, and we're never gonna see him again until "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.
" But in this moment, Kirk is performing the ceremony, and he's very serious about it.
This is where William Shatner crushes it.
One of the greatest acting moments in history.
He says, "Of my friend, I can say only this.
"Of all the souls I've encountered in my travels, his was the most" And he cracks, and he can't get through the sentence.
And then he chokes it back and goes, "Human.
" It is one of the most moving moments in cinema history.
When I die, I want William Shatner doing my eulogy.
What could you offer Batman to become the new Robin? Like, "Take me on as your new Robin, Batman, because I can" Do you have any detective skills? Like, can I, like, sniff out criminals - Yeah.
- And solve crime? Well, I It can't be that hard, right? - I mean - He'll train you.
He'll train me.
There's on-the-job training, right? Yes.
You think he'd make a good Robin? Well, which Robin are we talking about? We talking about the Robin with the shortest of shorts? I'd be constantly, like, pulling that yellow cape in front of me trying to cover my, uh my stuff.
Your camel toe? What about you? I mean, it'd be hard to call you the Boy Wonder with the beard.
Without the beard, it would be very difficult.
An out-of-shape, middle-aged Robin? Yeah, seriously.
Two staircases and I'm like, "Batman, I told you about the anemia.
"I told you about the artificial knee.
"You knew when we started this.
Come on, man.
" - Hey, how's it going? - Hey, guys.
I got something here that I guarantee you won't see again.
Oh! A MEGO Kresge Wolfman.
The most horrifying of the Megos.
Do you guys remember it? I know Mike you remember this.
Now, I don't think I've ever seen one in a card, though.
That's known as the Kresge packaging, which was a store that no longer exists, which eventually became K-Mart.
I remember Kresge's.
It was like the Five & Dime.
Exactly, and this wasn't in the window box like other Megos at the time.
Only a couple have survived.
I've had people looking for 20 years - and never even seen one.
- Wow.
That's one of the rarest figures you'll ever see.
I'm sorry to disagree, but this is one of the rarest figures you'll ever see.
There was a special packaging unique to Kresge's Definitely the forefather of the exclusive toy.
My grandmother referred to K-Mart as Kresge's till the day she died, always, 'cause that's what she knew.
Close your eyes.
Y-you can't see the counter, those stools that you'd sit in and spin on.
A grilled cheese sandwich - Yes.
- And maybe your mom would buy you a toy on the way out.
Yes, and you would beg your mom, "Can I get grilled cheese here?" She'd be like, "Here? No.
We have grilled cheese at home.
" I don't want to brag or, you know But I had all the MEGO Monsters.
This is one of the rare packages that they're actually calling the monsters themselves superheroes.
That had a real impact on the way I perceived monsters.
I was like, "A monster can be a good guy.
" And it really, um, changed my whole outlook.
I never was scared of a monster after that.
Now I'm not so naive.
At that point, I was like, "Monsters can be superheroes.
" So the past 40 years have paid off.
They had a castle play set, if I remember correctly.
I didn't have the castle.
I would make my own castle out of, like, pillows.
I was a kid that didn't want to go outside with my "dolls.
" - Right.
- Because my I was waiting outside.
I always had a hard time convincing my mom to, like, you know, "Buy me the castle.
" She's like, "You got the monsters.
Build your own castle.
" Get creative.
I've already spent on this Cr Get out of here, Walter! I would take, uh, the couch cushions, and I would build my own castle, and I would build I mean, it covered the entire living room.
I could spend literally days inside my castle, you know, only coming out to, you know, maybe use the bathroom.
Maybe.
The castle smelled a little ripe.
Hey, King Walt, flush! Well, I definitely Definitely interested.
- Great.
- Um what are you looking to get for it? I'm looking for, uh, $1,500.
Wow.
And there's no wiggle room? Or is there room for you to wiggle today? I would consider a slight wiggle.
Would a slight wiggle be $750? That would be a very large wiggle.
- More of a shimmy.
- Right.
I'm thinking - That's a full-on Lindy Hop.
- Right, exactly.
The condition is a little off.
Since you are such a fan yourself, what if you meet me in the middle and we go $1,100? This is perhaps the only one you'll ever see.
You could love it for 20 years as well.
He's gonna have to, 'cause his wife's gonna kick him the hell out.
You're gonna be sleeping in that pillow fort.
I won't be alone.
- I'll I'll take it.
- All right.
- I'll do it right now.
- Great.
- $1,100.
- Awesome.
- Take it easy, guys.
- All right, have a great day.
- Thanks again, man.
- See you later.
Let me ask you this thing, though.
Are there ever any days where you're like, "It'd be awesome to go play Captain Kirk today"? Whether you like "Star Trek" or not, you have to agree, William Shatner one of the most memorable actors of the last 50 years.
Yeah, definitely.
You're right.
You remember a William Shatner performance.
You remember, "Khan!" We all know him, of course, as Captain Kirk, first and foremost, but William Shatner has been writing books for years.
Sometimes they turn those books into comics.
- Remember "TekWar"? - Oh, yeah.
They did it as a comic book miniseries.
And it was in a In a prestige format, - very expensive book.
- Yeah.
Mr.
Shatner wrote another book, "Man O' War".
That's what they're adapting into this thing they call the cinematic graphic novel.
You write "Man O' War," mid to the late '90s.
And now it comes back in the form of the cinematic graphic novel.
The opportunity came along to make a comic book out of it.
It's a new entity.
It's a comic book, it's an animated film, but it's neither.
It's somewhere in between.
And it's a reading experience as well, which is what the comic book is all about.
I want to read my own interpretation of "put down that gun, you fool.
" I want That's true, and when we watched it, there's motion, there's movement, but it is still reading a comic book, because there's the thought balloons, the word balloons, - I'm reading.
- Exactly.
I'm the performer just like I was when I used to read comics that didn't move.
Exactly.
You know, I was a kid, five, six years old under the covers with a flashlight reading these comic books and imagining Batman and Superman and going to bed with, uh, these legendary figures.
You know, there are a bunch of people out there right now I was gonna say "kids," but let's be honest, they're all my age who are just like, "I did that too.
" It's a wonderful stimulus.
What a way to have your imagination piqued by the beauty of the comic book.
It's magical.
Have you gone to Comic-Con almost every year? I've always had something to introduce.
Right.
Uh, this Comic-Con I did three panels.
When you started the job, that didn't exist.
Like, you didn't go into "Star Trek," going like, "Well, there'll be conventions.
There'll be, like" There was no such thing.
What was it like to watch it grow? Like, to watch fandom It's phenomenal.
It's it's phenomenal.
I mean, a couple of months will be the 50th anniversary of "Star Trek.
" Right.
There was a movie that I handed the reins over to Patrick Stewart, and Mm-hmm.
"Generations.
" "Generations," exactly.
And I remember thinking, "Oh, I have a pang.
Uh, and it's not from sitting on the horse.
" Right.
Let me ask you this thing, though.
Are there ever any days where you get up and you're like, "It'd be awesome to go play Captain Kirk today"? No.
No? Done? Really? Favorite William Shatner performance, but Kirk is pulled off the table.
Mike? - Denny Crane.
- From "Boston Legal"? "Boston Legal," yeah he and, uh, James Spader.
When Kirk met Ultron.
- Yes.
- What about you, Ming? Well, does it have to be an acting performance? I thought his singing performance was, uh - It was admirable.
- Excellent pull.
He gave it a shot.
As far as I'm concerned, he now owns "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
" - Walt? - Still easy, "Twilight Zone.
" The gremlin on the plane.
- You took mine, man! - You took mine.
- I would've totally done that.
- That's the only one I know.
Mr.
Shatner, Bill, thank you for having me.
You are I mean, I hate to say it, but you're boldly going where few have gone before.
Well, I hope so, 'cause it's something new in comic books.
And that pleases me more than anything.
I feel lucky as hell.
This man has been talked to and interviewed by everybody on the planet, right? But still, you know, I set phasers to stun.
I went in there, and we talked about everything.
Captain Clerk met Captain Kirk.
- Ah.
- Thank you very much.
But just like his his character, he's not content to keep his feet on the ground.
He's always chasing after the stars and whatnot.
He's got to be out there first.
- 22nd-century man.
- You ain't kiddin'.
Oh, man, it's time to break off the captain's log and trek out of here.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Our 5-year mission to boldly go where no comic book man has gone before.
Good night, kids.
- Such a good movie.
- Oh, yeah.
I don't do a lot of impressions, but De Niro, I think I-I could pull off.
Okay, let's hear it.
Are you talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Your voice progressively got higher until you sounded like Steve Urkel.
Let me hear your De Niro.
You talkin' to me? You must be talkin' to me.
There's nobody else here.
'Cause I'm impressed.
Yeah, he definitely had a little bit more menacing, creepy vibe to him.
- How about Mike? - All right, how about this? You talkin' to me? I don't see nobody else here.
You talkin' to me? Talkin' to me, wise guy? That's awesome! I had chills.
Come on, De Niro doesn't play it like he's Italian.
He plays it very flat affect.
He's like You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? I don't see nobody else around here.
" - More flat.
- That was real flat.
- Yeah.
- Well, at least I'm not like You talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Who are you talkin' to? Hello, and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that's smart enough to keep Scooby Doo away from Groot.
- I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
- Okay.
What, pray tell, did the Stash unearth this week? Something came in the other day that wasn't comic book related, but comic strip related.
Mm.
How you doin'? Hey, what's happening? I have some, uh, Hungerford figures.
I was looking to see if you guys might be interested in 'em.
Hungerford? Yeah, they were the first figures actually of, uh, the "Peanuts" characters.
That one is Linus, Charlie Brown, and Lucy.
Oh, my God.
I've never seen these before.
It's actually the original version of them and the first toys that actually ever came out.
From, what is it, 1950, 1940 something? - You a big "Peanuts" fan? - Yeah.
- Who's your favorite peanut? - It would have to be Linus.
- Really? - Yeah.
He's missing something, isn't he? That's that's why he's my favorite.
I actually still have my baby blanket from when I was a kid, so Wait a minute.
You still carry it around? I mean, well, you still - I still own it.
- You still own it.
But you don't actually use it, right? Uh, you know, here and there.
Who knows? Wow.
Did you guys have a blanket? Blanket, no.
I did have a Snoopy, though, like, a plush, - and I still have him.
- Oh, cool.
And I used to carry him around by the neck.
So his neck is about that skinny now.
Hearing your stories about your father, I thought he would've thrown it into an incinerator.
Well, no, I learned it from him.
He used to carry me around by my neck like that.
I mean, I think it's pretty painfully obvious that, like, you know, Bry is the Charlie Brown of the Stash.
You are Charlie Brown, my friend.
Better hair.
Yes, you're making out better than Charlie Brown that way, but everything else, it's a big zigzag across your chest.
I like to see myself as Snoopy.
I'll be honest with you.
Maybe that's a little showy, but so am I.
- Walt? - I I'm at a loss.
Pigpen.
He's a Lucy.
Totally! Oh, my God, he's absolutely right.
Lucy was about pulling the football away from Charlie Brown.
You're a little bit younger than us.
I don't know if you could really understand how important the "Peanuts" strip was.
I mean, it wasn't a holiday unless there was a "Peanuts" animated special.
If you missed the Thanksgiving one, it didn't feel like Thanksgiving.
Even though you knew exactly what was gonna happen 'cause you'd seen it the year before.
Did you guys feel sad reading the strips or watching the cartoons? 'Cause they were so brutal to poor Charlie Brown.
Yeah, like, in this day and age, with bullying and stuff, it would not be allowed.
They bullied him.
They definitely bullied him.
It seemed like the poor kid never won.
You know, if Snoopy wasn't in there giving up some levity, you really would want to just go into the bathroom and blow your head off after watching those "Peanuts" episodes.
For as much as we have affection for "Peanuts," was it geared for kids? Because when you look back at it now, you're like, "There's some real underlying themes going on here.
" It's about a boy with depression, whose friends don't make it any better.
And it wasn't just Charlie Brown who was flawed or broken.
It was like Linus, OCD.
Yes, and Lucy who has a personality disorder that makes her hyper-aggressive.
- The dirty one.
- Pigpen.
Hygiene issues.
Snoopy, uh, was the most normal, well-adjusted of them all.
Didn't he also have delusions that he was a World War I flying ace, though? So I don't know how normal that dog really was.
All right, so you're looking to sell all three of them? - Yep.
- Okay.
I'm definitely interested.
What are you looking to get for 'em? $135.
- $135? - Mm-hmm.
See, I don't know much about them, though.
I don't know what they really go for in today's market.
I have seen these go for, I think, about $125 for the three.
And that's retail.
- So we got to make money.
- Right, right.
I mean, what about, like, $110? Wow.
How about $100? They'll sell fast.
I mean, they're "Peanuts.
" Yeah, they're all the rage these days.
I mean, I think every day you lose a "Peanut" fan.
$75 is the best I can do.
Well Let's do it.
All right, got a deal.
$60, $75.
- Thanks, man.
- All right, thanks.
- Have a good day, guys.
- Take it easy.
I'm gonna tell you guys about stuff that happened to me this week.
- Mr.
Shatner - Bill, Bill.
I got something here that I guarantee you won't see again.
Oh, the most horrifying of the Megos.
We're gonna do something different right now.
I'm gonna tell you guys a story about stuff that happened to me this week.
There's some figures that loom so large in the genre world, man, if there was a Mount Rushmore of geeks, their face would be on it, okay? I got a phone call, and they were like, "William Shatner would like to talk to you about his comic book project on 'Comic Book Men.
'" You got to talk to Captain Kirk? Yes, yes.
It was a rare opportunity, and when a legend knocks, you answer the door, man.
Mr.
Shatner, I've - Bill, Bill.
- Bill.
So, Bill, we're gonna talk about "Man O' War," the cinematic graphic novel.
But before we dive into that, I just want to give you a little propers.
Aside from the body of work that everybody knows, this is what I've always dug about you.
You're a renaissance man.
You acted.
You've won Emmy's and stuff, but you've always jumped outside, whether it's writing or just Like, I look back at your history, and there's never a period - where you weren't busy.
- Yes.
You're a guy who's never content to just be like, "All right, I'm done.
" Like, you've never When do you sit back? When do you rest? Well, I mean, what are you gonna do? I mean, you know, you can't sit like the Sphinx.
The Sphinx has got to get up, right.
- Well, I've tried.
- Right.
Right.
So I'm busy in all those things that I'm passionate about.
I compete on horses.
I ride competitively.
Really? I'm traveling and directing documentaries.
I love to make documentaries.
The discovery Like you and I are discovering each other now That discovery is like an act of creation.
Yeah.
And when am I gonna say, "Stop," you know? What I'm gonna say is, "My fingers don't bend as much as they used to.
" - What accounts for, uh - I don't know.
Besides talent? 'Cause talent definitely outs, and that'll take you far.
Well, it takes you a certain way, but luck is huge.
But time and time again, people just come to you and be like, "Let's go on a journey.
" And like the character you played, you've gone on journeys.
I just came back from doing 2,400 miles on a motorcycle.
I went from Chicago to Los Angeles on a bike that I helped design.
It's called "Rivet.
" R-I-V-E-T.
American Wrench was the name of the company that I "partnershipped" with in making this unique design.
The bike, which was beautifully designed, didn't work.
- Really? - Yeah, some stuff went wrong.
So we We present it to 150 people in the media.
Here we are.
And I get on, and I can't go.
The engine, which is a revs up, but it won't move.
This is a Kobayashi Maru.
What do you do? We rent a bike.
My wife gets on the back, and off we go.
We truck the Rivet to each city.
We tell everybody, "Look at this.
We're working on it.
" And we make the eight days.
Dude, you don't believe in the no-win scenario.
Well, that's exactly it.
Now, you've gone on to meet a lot of people in your career as a filmmaker, but could seven-year-old Kevin Smith ever imagine meeting Captain Kirk? No, seven-year-old Kevin Smith would've been like "I don't like Captain Kirk.
This show is boring.
" Until I got older and would come to appreciate what "Star Trek" was Just the performance levels of all those actors on "Star Trek.
" It's insanely well written, insanely well acted.
How intimidating was it to be in the same room with the Captain the Captain? I'll be honest with you, man, like, number one, he's he's iconic, not just from Kirk, but ever since I've been alive, William Shatner has been William Shatner.
You know, "The Shat.
" Does he like to be referred to as "The Shat"? No, not at all.
I learned that pretty quickly.
Now, I don't think I've ever seen one on a card, though.
This is perhaps the only one you'll ever see.
I've had people looking for 20 years - and never even seen one.
- Wow.
The cinematic graphic novel, which is a new concept.
It's a comic book, it's an animated film, but it's neither.
It's phenomenal.
"Star Trek: Wrath of Khan" one of my favorite movies of all time.
The funeral for Spock, where Captain Kirk gives the eulogy, is one of my favorite performance moments in anything Movies, TV, theater, anything I've made myself.
It is perfect, because you're talking about two military men who've spent years together, you know, on a 5-year mission through space and more.
And his friend has died, and we're never gonna see him again until "Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.
" But in this moment, Kirk is performing the ceremony, and he's very serious about it.
This is where William Shatner crushes it.
One of the greatest acting moments in history.
He says, "Of my friend, I can say only this.
"Of all the souls I've encountered in my travels, his was the most" And he cracks, and he can't get through the sentence.
And then he chokes it back and goes, "Human.
" It is one of the most moving moments in cinema history.
When I die, I want William Shatner doing my eulogy.
What could you offer Batman to become the new Robin? Like, "Take me on as your new Robin, Batman, because I can" Do you have any detective skills? Like, can I, like, sniff out criminals - Yeah.
- And solve crime? Well, I It can't be that hard, right? - I mean - He'll train you.
He'll train me.
There's on-the-job training, right? Yes.
You think he'd make a good Robin? Well, which Robin are we talking about? We talking about the Robin with the shortest of shorts? I'd be constantly, like, pulling that yellow cape in front of me trying to cover my, uh my stuff.
Your camel toe? What about you? I mean, it'd be hard to call you the Boy Wonder with the beard.
Without the beard, it would be very difficult.
An out-of-shape, middle-aged Robin? Yeah, seriously.
Two staircases and I'm like, "Batman, I told you about the anemia.
"I told you about the artificial knee.
"You knew when we started this.
Come on, man.
" - Hey, how's it going? - Hey, guys.
I got something here that I guarantee you won't see again.
Oh! A MEGO Kresge Wolfman.
The most horrifying of the Megos.
Do you guys remember it? I know Mike you remember this.
Now, I don't think I've ever seen one in a card, though.
That's known as the Kresge packaging, which was a store that no longer exists, which eventually became K-Mart.
I remember Kresge's.
It was like the Five & Dime.
Exactly, and this wasn't in the window box like other Megos at the time.
Only a couple have survived.
I've had people looking for 20 years - and never even seen one.
- Wow.
That's one of the rarest figures you'll ever see.
I'm sorry to disagree, but this is one of the rarest figures you'll ever see.
There was a special packaging unique to Kresge's Definitely the forefather of the exclusive toy.
My grandmother referred to K-Mart as Kresge's till the day she died, always, 'cause that's what she knew.
Close your eyes.
Y-you can't see the counter, those stools that you'd sit in and spin on.
A grilled cheese sandwich - Yes.
- And maybe your mom would buy you a toy on the way out.
Yes, and you would beg your mom, "Can I get grilled cheese here?" She'd be like, "Here? No.
We have grilled cheese at home.
" I don't want to brag or, you know But I had all the MEGO Monsters.
This is one of the rare packages that they're actually calling the monsters themselves superheroes.
That had a real impact on the way I perceived monsters.
I was like, "A monster can be a good guy.
" And it really, um, changed my whole outlook.
I never was scared of a monster after that.
Now I'm not so naive.
At that point, I was like, "Monsters can be superheroes.
" So the past 40 years have paid off.
They had a castle play set, if I remember correctly.
I didn't have the castle.
I would make my own castle out of, like, pillows.
I was a kid that didn't want to go outside with my "dolls.
" - Right.
- Because my I was waiting outside.
I always had a hard time convincing my mom to, like, you know, "Buy me the castle.
" She's like, "You got the monsters.
Build your own castle.
" Get creative.
I've already spent on this Cr Get out of here, Walter! I would take, uh, the couch cushions, and I would build my own castle, and I would build I mean, it covered the entire living room.
I could spend literally days inside my castle, you know, only coming out to, you know, maybe use the bathroom.
Maybe.
The castle smelled a little ripe.
Hey, King Walt, flush! Well, I definitely Definitely interested.
- Great.
- Um what are you looking to get for it? I'm looking for, uh, $1,500.
Wow.
And there's no wiggle room? Or is there room for you to wiggle today? I would consider a slight wiggle.
Would a slight wiggle be $750? That would be a very large wiggle.
- More of a shimmy.
- Right.
I'm thinking - That's a full-on Lindy Hop.
- Right, exactly.
The condition is a little off.
Since you are such a fan yourself, what if you meet me in the middle and we go $1,100? This is perhaps the only one you'll ever see.
You could love it for 20 years as well.
He's gonna have to, 'cause his wife's gonna kick him the hell out.
You're gonna be sleeping in that pillow fort.
I won't be alone.
- I'll I'll take it.
- All right.
- I'll do it right now.
- Great.
- $1,100.
- Awesome.
- Take it easy, guys.
- All right, have a great day.
- Thanks again, man.
- See you later.
Let me ask you this thing, though.
Are there ever any days where you're like, "It'd be awesome to go play Captain Kirk today"? Whether you like "Star Trek" or not, you have to agree, William Shatner one of the most memorable actors of the last 50 years.
Yeah, definitely.
You're right.
You remember a William Shatner performance.
You remember, "Khan!" We all know him, of course, as Captain Kirk, first and foremost, but William Shatner has been writing books for years.
Sometimes they turn those books into comics.
- Remember "TekWar"? - Oh, yeah.
They did it as a comic book miniseries.
And it was in a In a prestige format, - very expensive book.
- Yeah.
Mr.
Shatner wrote another book, "Man O' War".
That's what they're adapting into this thing they call the cinematic graphic novel.
You write "Man O' War," mid to the late '90s.
And now it comes back in the form of the cinematic graphic novel.
The opportunity came along to make a comic book out of it.
It's a new entity.
It's a comic book, it's an animated film, but it's neither.
It's somewhere in between.
And it's a reading experience as well, which is what the comic book is all about.
I want to read my own interpretation of "put down that gun, you fool.
" I want That's true, and when we watched it, there's motion, there's movement, but it is still reading a comic book, because there's the thought balloons, the word balloons, - I'm reading.
- Exactly.
I'm the performer just like I was when I used to read comics that didn't move.
Exactly.
You know, I was a kid, five, six years old under the covers with a flashlight reading these comic books and imagining Batman and Superman and going to bed with, uh, these legendary figures.
You know, there are a bunch of people out there right now I was gonna say "kids," but let's be honest, they're all my age who are just like, "I did that too.
" It's a wonderful stimulus.
What a way to have your imagination piqued by the beauty of the comic book.
It's magical.
Have you gone to Comic-Con almost every year? I've always had something to introduce.
Right.
Uh, this Comic-Con I did three panels.
When you started the job, that didn't exist.
Like, you didn't go into "Star Trek," going like, "Well, there'll be conventions.
There'll be, like" There was no such thing.
What was it like to watch it grow? Like, to watch fandom It's phenomenal.
It's it's phenomenal.
I mean, a couple of months will be the 50th anniversary of "Star Trek.
" Right.
There was a movie that I handed the reins over to Patrick Stewart, and Mm-hmm.
"Generations.
" "Generations," exactly.
And I remember thinking, "Oh, I have a pang.
Uh, and it's not from sitting on the horse.
" Right.
Let me ask you this thing, though.
Are there ever any days where you get up and you're like, "It'd be awesome to go play Captain Kirk today"? No.
No? Done? Really? Favorite William Shatner performance, but Kirk is pulled off the table.
Mike? - Denny Crane.
- From "Boston Legal"? "Boston Legal," yeah he and, uh, James Spader.
When Kirk met Ultron.
- Yes.
- What about you, Ming? Well, does it have to be an acting performance? I thought his singing performance was, uh - It was admirable.
- Excellent pull.
He gave it a shot.
As far as I'm concerned, he now owns "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.
" - Walt? - Still easy, "Twilight Zone.
" The gremlin on the plane.
- You took mine, man! - You took mine.
- I would've totally done that.
- That's the only one I know.
Mr.
Shatner, Bill, thank you for having me.
You are I mean, I hate to say it, but you're boldly going where few have gone before.
Well, I hope so, 'cause it's something new in comic books.
And that pleases me more than anything.
I feel lucky as hell.
This man has been talked to and interviewed by everybody on the planet, right? But still, you know, I set phasers to stun.
I went in there, and we talked about everything.
Captain Clerk met Captain Kirk.
- Ah.
- Thank you very much.
But just like his his character, he's not content to keep his feet on the ground.
He's always chasing after the stars and whatnot.
He's got to be out there first.
- 22nd-century man.
- You ain't kiddin'.
Oh, man, it's time to break off the captain's log and trek out of here.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Our 5-year mission to boldly go where no comic book man has gone before.
Good night, kids.