Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999) Episode Scripts

N/A - Muriel Meets Her Match-Courage vs. Mecha-Courage

We interrupt this program to bring you Courage the Cowardly Dog show! Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog! Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel, who lives in the middle of Nowhere with her husband Eustace Bagge.
But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.
It's up to Courage to save his new home.
Stupid dog! You made me look bad! Mano, next time we make a getaway, remind me to drive something smaller than a house! Give me a hand! Huh? In other news, notorious thief, Maria La Dronais - Yeah! - And her notorious thief husband, Manuel "Mano" La Dronais, have broken out of jail, notoriously! We will be okay.
And you will have your operation.
Mano, I have a plan.
Do you have your garden shears? In great big diamond news, the Grandmother Diamond Exhibit at the Nowhere Museum is attractin' teemin'hordes of tourists and jewel thieves.
What's Huh? Dang blasted TV! Oh! Hello, new neighbor.
I am Maria.
My husband and I had car trouble, and we moved in your backyard until we get it fixed.
Oh, my! Why don't you both come in for some tea? I would love to.
But my husband Mano is very shy.
Poor dear.
Dang lousy TV antennas! - Eustace, meet our new neighbor, Maria.
- Yeah, yeah, neighbor.
You dumb dog! Go see if the roof antenna's wobbling, or something! Oh! Dumb dog! Dumb TV! Dumb reception! We've got perfect reception in the Winnebago.
Our casa is your casa.
Which means what's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine.
All mine.
How lovely! Works for me.
In what clever hiding place do you keep valuables such as driver's license, birth certificate, deed to the family farm? Well Now, Courage, she's our neighbor.
Our casa is her casa, whatever that means.
We just dial five Ninety-four! Eighty-seven.
Uh, 144! - Eleven.
- Nineteen! It's a secret combination.
Now, Courage, you can trust Maria.
She's a lovely person.
You will share with me your beauty secrets.
See? Huh? Who? Eustace, is that you? You know I can't hear you without my glasses, Courage.
Yay! Oh, I'm sorry.
Excuse me.
Oh! How do you do? We interrupt this program to bring you a special report.
The Grandmother Diamond has been stolen! The precious stone was taken from the Nowhere Museum by Muriel Bagge! Yes? Did someone call my name? The dangerous felon was nice enough to leave her driver's license, birth certificate and family photos at the crime scene to aid the police.
Now, isn't that helpful? Courage, can you get the door? - Muriel Bagge? - Yes? You have the right to remain silent.
Is that you, Cousin Harold? You're under arrest for stealing the Grandmother Diamond.
Oh, Harold.
Maybe these will help you see things a little more clearly.
We found them at the scene of the crime.
Why, you're not Harold! One hundred and fifty-seven people witnessed you steal the diamond - No! while your husband waited in your getaway motor home watching TV.
- Officer, there must be a mistake.
- There's no mistake.
See? There you are with the diamond.
Oh! You have the right to remain silent! Yes, my little handyman.
Now we can afford to get you that operation.
Aye! Looks like we have neighbors.
Let's show them how we treat our neighbors.
Great sound effects! Oh! Good, Mano.
You've got him in the palm of your hand.
Now, finish him off! They can take my old photos.
They can take my identity.
But when they take my Courage, they've gone too far! Oh! Great sound effects.
Courage, where are ya? Dumb dog! You broke my TV! Ouch! I guess the only thing I can see without my glasses is Eustace's big shiny head! Ah! Oh! Ah! Mano? Carumba! Anything you say can Anything you say can and will be Anything you say can and Oh, forget it.
We've got all our things back, and our family is together again, safe and sound.
Look, Courage.
Even Eustace is weeping with joy.
Joy nothing! Those nice neighbors gave me the best reception of my life.
When are they coming back? Hey, canine! Courage dog, wanna play fetch? Huh? Fetch! As dog, you no good.
Fetch! No stick? You no-good ass dog! Two time! I bet I can make better dog than you.
You'll see.
Name, Courage.
- Muriel! - Oh! There's a flood in the basement I got to fix! Where's my other boot? Oh, I haven't seen it, Eustace.
Stupid dog probably took it.
Ow! Stupid dog! Takes my boot, then leaves a chair in front of my toe! Oh, my! No good dog! Meet Mecha-Courage.
He better dog than you in every way.
Chew boot.
Courage! Now I prove my dog better dog! Be better dog! Bow-wow! You're looking nice and fit today, Courage.
Must be the vinegar I put in your dog food.
Bow-wow! Muriel! Where's my boot? How am I gonna fix the flood without my boot? Hey, stupid dog! Where's my boot? What? Huh? Wow! Oh, boy! Hey, look at that! Ah! Wow! You ain't so stupid after all, dog! But you're still a stupid dog! Oh! Look at him sucking up that water! Hey! Nice! My dog better dog.
Oh! Watch where you're going, you fool! - Could you set the table, Courage? - Mmm-hmm.
Bow-wow! Huh? Mmm.
Hey! You know, for a stupid dog you ain't so stupid.
But you're still a stupid dog.
Tired of fishing the old-fashioned way? Sure am.
Then try the brand-spanking new, super-deluxe Mega-Fish Stick 4,000! Would you look at that rod? Boy, oh, boy! What I'd do for that! Muriel, someone's at the door.
Gotta get me that rod! Oh, thank you, Courage.
Bow-wow! Ooh-wee! That Fish Stick's every man's dream! Bow-wow! Go away.
Oh! My dream's come true! Hey, dog, you're not so bad after all! Bow-wow! Good dog, Courage.
Give up, dog! I win bet! New dog in town! He better than you! Better than you in every way! Better than you in every other way! No way you beat him! No way you ever beat him! No way you ever beat him, even if you are gladiator in Colosseum of Rome! Bow-wow! Bow-wow! Oh, no! I told you I build better dog.
Why you no give up, dog? You no good, no-giving-up dog! No good.
The things I do for Dog not know when to quit.
No, no! Stupid dog not know when to give up! He wear out Mecha-Courage battery! You no good dog! Huh? This program is brought to you by Tekno-Dog! Man's mechanical best friend! That's what we need! Better than this stupid dog.
Eustace! No machine could ever replace my Courage.
You fool! Stupid dog! English March 2017