Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999) Episode Scripts

N/A - So in Louvre Are We Two-Night of the Scarecrow

1 - (STATIC) - We interrupt this program to bring you Courage the Cowardly Dog show! - Starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog! - (COURAGE SCREAMS) Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel, who lives in the middle of Nowhere with her husband Eustace Bagge.
- (EUSTACE GRUNTS) - But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere.
- It's up to Courage to save his new home.
- (SCREAMING) Stupid dog! You made me look bad! - (EUSTACE YELLS) - (COURAGE SCREAMS) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS IN FRENCH) MAN: Oh, je t'aime.
(GRUMBLING) Yuck! Isn't it amazing that we won this trip to Paris just by finding a coupon in the cereal box? (CHOMPING) Mmm-hmm! You must not enter le museum now, Madame.
It is only five minutes until closing.
Good! I'm tired.
But I've got to see the Mona Lisa.
My mother always said Mona and I were like twins.
Don't you agree? (GRUMBLING) You look nothing like the Mona Lisa! And I give you five minutes to go see for yourselves! Stupid American.
(GASPS) Even the heavens are more beautiful from here! Look.
Venus and Mars are lining up tonight.
There's magic at work.
I can feel it.
- (MURIEL GIGGLES) - Big deal.
(WHINING) - (FOOTSTEPS ECHOING) - Arg.
Eh.
Yuck! Look! There she is.
The most famous painting in the world.
All because of her mysterious smile.
I want to get a picture of me and the Mona Lisa.
(WHINES) (GASPS) Huh? MAN: (OVER P.
A.
SYSTEM) Ladies and gentilshommes, it is the closing time.
Hurry up, Courage.
It's closing time.
(GASPS) It's okay, Courage.
The resemblance is overwhelming.
(GRUNTS) Hey, stupid dog.
- Eh! - EUSTACE: Ah Take a picture of me with this idiot.
"The Thinker," huh? I know what he's thinking.
"How come there's no TV set?" (LAUGHS) (SCREAMS) Huh? (GASPS) MURIEL: How Lovely.
(EUSTACE GRUMBLING) I got to take a breather.
(FIRE CRACKLING) Ah.
(HUMMING) Feels just like home.
- (CHAIR CREAKING) - (SNORING) (ALL SNORING) - (FOOTSTEPS ECHOING) - It is the closing time, everyone.
Ah.
No one here but the sculptures.
- (DOOR CLOSES) - Huh? I must have taken a wee snooze.
- Eustace! - Eh? Eh! Let's get out of here already.
Mmm-hmm.
I want to see Mona one more time.
(GROANS) Ah! (WHIMPERING) (STRUGGLING) - Oh! - (GIGGLING) Ahhh! (GASPS) (WITH ITALIAN ACCENT) Hey, Thinker.
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Put some clothes on, you beatnik.
Huh.
Hmm.
- Oh! - (CRASHING) (GRUMBLING) So, what have you been thinking about all this time? (STUTTERING) Uh, your smile.
Uh, I think.
Molto bene, mio amore.
What do you say we go someplace and have a little fun? No? Maybe we should.
Or maybe we shouldn't.
Might be fun.
Might be weird.
Hmm.
I need to think about it.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Well, let's go, Thinker.
When the planets separate again, you and me, we gonna be stuck in place forever.
Let's make sure it's someplace really worth smiling about.
Si? Uh, well - (STRAINING) - (BABBLING) (MONA LISA LAUGHING) Hmm.
MONA LISA: Come on, big guy.
Let's you and me get naturale and jump right in.
Uh, I don't know.
It might be too cold.
I might get sunburned.
There might be mosquitoes.
Let me think.
(GRUNTS) (BIRDS CHIRPING) - (WHISTLING) - Hey, you see not the sign? No dogs allowed! Ahhh! Hmm.
(CHUCKLING) A royal flush? Get out of here! Ahhh! Courage, I feel myself drying.
Get me out before (STRUGGLING) it's too late.
(EXCLAIMS) (MONA LISA LAUGHING) (KISSING) Blech! (LAUGHING CONTINUES) I thought a little bit of something strange might loosen you up.
Yeah.
You got to relax, man.
Just hang, baby.
Hmm, I don't know.
I just Hmm, let me think.
(GRUNTING) - (CREAKING) - Oh! Oh! (EXCLAIMING) You got to stop the questioning everything and enjoy the moment, you know? Hey, Thinker! You there? Hmm Should I have tea with lemon? Decaf with cream? Hmm.
I need somebody who just take me in his arms and give me a big smoocherooni.
You know? A kiss.
I need to think about it.
(BELL RINGS) (KISSING) (TAPPING) (WHINING) (WAILING) - (BEEPING) - (LAUGHS) (POPPING) Whoa, Mama! Sorry, baby.
I think we should see other people.
Men! THINKER: Hmm.
Hmm.
Whoa, baby! (STATUE WHISTLES) Well, if you're not gonna kiss me, I think there's somebody who is.
(KISSING) Oh, my! Yuck.
Huh? Oh, no! (STRUGGLING) (KISSING) Yes! THINKER: Hmm.
Soup or salad? Hmm? Salad or soup? Ah, Courage, you're a true artist.
Look.
That one reminds me of home.
(WINDMILL CREAKING) MURIEL: Like sisters.
I wonder when Eustace will be getting back? This itch is killing me.
Somebody scratch my back.
- Stupid American.
- (EUSTACE GRUMBLING) My, isn't it a marvelous fair this year? The hayride was grand! Grand! (GRUMBLING) Another 50 cents down the drain! (ENGINE RUMBLING) I just love county fairs.
Blah-blah-blah.
(CROW CAWS) Huh? (CROWS CAWING) (EXCLAIMS) (CAWING CONTINUES) Oh, guess rain's a-coming.
I had better close the window.
- (CAWING) - Oh! Ahhh! Hey! Watch what you're doing! (TIRES SCREECHING) ALL: Ahhh! - (ENGINE REWING) - (TIRES SQUEALING) - What do you - (BABBLING) (CLICKS) - (ENGINE REWING) - (TIRES SQUEALING) Must be stuck in a ditch.
(GRUMBLING) Now, Eustace, getting all unhinged isn't going to help.
Like my Aunt Gertrude always said Ahhh! (GHOULISH WAILING) (BANGING) - Hey, you! - (HORN BLOWING) (THUD) BOTH: Ahhh! Huh? Ahhh! Well, would you look at that? It's nothing but an old scarecrow.
Poor thing.
Eh, forget that worthless pile of straw.
Now, Eustace, really.
All it needs is a few buttons here and there, a patch or two, and it'll be good as new.
(WINDMILL CREAKING) Hmm.
The wee scissors.
(SQUEAKING) Ugh.
(THUD) There you go.
Good as new.
Oh, my! (MUFFLED INDISTINCT SPEECH) - (DOOR OPENS) - Muriel! What's all this junk doing lying around the floor? Oh! (GHOSTLY MOANING) (EXCLAIMING) (GHOSTLY MOANING) (MENACING MOANING) Eh? Get away from me! Now, now.
You haven't got your scaring powers back yet.
(MUFFLED INDISTINCT SPEECH) If you could just speak a bit more clearly, I Oh! (SNIPPING) (SNIPPING) Now, how's that suit you? Mmm.
Oh! Ah! Thank you.
(WINDMILL CREAKING) (HUMMING) You just rest up.
And I'm sure you'll be scaring lots of things in no time.
- Courage! - Mmm-hmm? Would you mind pouring us all a wee dram of lemonade? Mmm-hmm.
(HISSING) - Oh! - Ah! (MENACING MOANING) (SNIFFING) (HISSING) (RATTLING) Ahhh! BOTH: Ahhh! - (CHOMP) - (ENGINE REWING) (TREMBLING) Thank you, Courage.
- (SADLY MUMBLING) - Now, now.
I don't want you worrying about frightening things on my account.
Oh, if I can't scare things away to protect you, what good am I? Don't you worry about protecting me.
Nothing bad ever happens around here.
(CLANGING) Oh, my! (SCARECROW MOANING MENACINGLY) Oh my! Ahhh! (BEATING) Ahhh! (SHIP WHIRRING) What good am I? (MOANING) (SIGHS) There, there.
You're just done in.
I'm sure you'll be right as rain in the morning.
MAN: Repeat after me: I am bad.
People fear me.
I am bad.
People fear me.
I am bad.
People fear me.
Yeah! I am bad.
People fear me.
(LAUGHING SINISTERLY) EUSTACE: Where's my jelly? Can't eat my toast without my jelly! We're all out.
I'll just run down to the basement for another jar.
- (POUNDING ON THE DOOR) - See who it is, dog! - Ahhh! - (SQUISH) Hey! That was the coupons! Ah! Let go of me.
Let me (BANGING) Ahhh! Ooh! (BLUBBERING) - Ah! - (APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS) Now, Eustace, I always tell ya to clear your mess when you're through eating.
(BABBLING) (GROWLING) (WHIMPERING) (CHOKING) - (BANGING) - (COURAGE YELLING) Ow! (EXCLAIMING) That scarecrow is getting a wee bit carried away.
You're too exposed up here.
I need to get you to a safe house.
A safe house? (DOOR SLAMS) MURIEL: Oh, my! (EXCLAIMING) (CHUCKLING DELIRIOUSLY) (SQUEAKING) Muriel! (BANGING) I want jelly! - (COURAGE WHIMPERS) - Stupid dog! Fetch me jelly! COURAGE: Ahhh! (GROANING) Oh, Courage.
Thank heavens it's you! EUSTACE: Ahhh! What about my jelly? (ENGINE STARTING) (TIRES SQUEALING) Muriel! (GASPS) Ahhh! (TIRES SQUEALING) Muriel! Protect Muriel! Oh! Ow! Oh! (SQUEALING) BOTH: Oh! (TEETH CHATTERING) - (CAWING) - Ah! Ah! (IMITATING CROWS CAWING) (CROWS CAWING) Oh, no! Not the crows! (SCARECROW YELLING) Why? Ahhh! Ahhh! - (SCARECROW PANTING) - (CROWS CAWING) Oh, my! (GROANING) Poor thing.
Not much of a scarecrow, is he? (HORN BEEPING) My father was a scary scarecrow.
And his father.
And his Aunt Hilda.
Oh, but me, I'm a worthless bale of nothing.
Just because you come from a scary family doesn't mean you have to be scary, too.
But what else is there for the likes of me? Maybe you've got other talents.
Hmm! Don't you just love a hayride, Courage? Mmm-hmm.
Ha! EUSTACE: Get off of me! Get off! Hey! Hey! Hey! (THEME SONG) EUSTACE: Stupid dog! (LAUGHS) English - SDH March 2017