Crunch Time (2016) Episode Scripts

N/A - The Big Sleep

1 How long until it takes down the building? Our engineers on the ground say we have at most 48 hours.
And they still don't know how to stop it? They don't even know where to begin.
What about the data sweep? We've gone through emails, chat sessions, search histories.
Only thing we're finding are paper trails on the brain frame.
Seriously.
That's it? That's all you've got for us? Well, the Internet histories are quite Colorful.
Porn-hub, Red-tube, double stuffed MILFs, three girls one mustache, sit on my Facebook, who let my dongs out So Berkman has a porn addiction.
Big surprise.
No, that was just Larry Johnson's computer.
And you still haven't located him? No.
He's still off the grid.
He must be smarter than they're leading on.
Or dead.
But, someone on our team found this.
Victoria Wain.
She's a college student and a brain frame customer.
So what? She's missing too.
Come on, Sam.
Sit down.
Let's go.
Get it before it's gone.
Come on.
It's not gonna bite ya.
It's not a trick, Sam.
You must be hungry with that thousand calorie a day diet we've got you on.
Look, we know that protein paste is Nasty.
So, come on.
Dig in.
It's good.
It's good.
Oh my God.
- It tastes like - Shit.
It tastes like shit.
We put dog shit in your burger, Sam.
What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why?! Well, shit's the only thing coming out of your mouth.
It'll be the only thing going in.
Who is she? I don't know.
Shit burgers it is.
Bon appétit.
No.
Ugh.
You did it! Vicki, you conquered your nightmare! And your lifelong fear of heights! I did it.
I really did it.
Congrats, Vicki! You're one super groovy, chick.
Ah, thanks, random surfer dude.
Hey, everyone! I've got daiquiris and cocaine! Well, I can't thank you guys enough for everything.
Hey, you made the jump.
That's what's important.
Yeah, that dream cocaine was like yum! Delicious.
The daiquiri's a little sweet.
- OK, troubleshooting.
- But I'll be back.
- Yes.
Oh, hey, tell your friends.
- Yeah.
Your hot friends.
Ew.
Oh, Sam, will you give Vicki a ride to her car? - She parked off campus.
- Yeah.
- Of course.
- Great.
- Customer service.
- Yeah.
Thank you.
See you soon! That was really fun.
See? Doesn't that make you feel good about yourself? Yeah, I think that worked out and we got a party.
I feel so good about it.
You should; That was incredible.
- She, I mean, she loved it.
- She loved it! And we helped her.
And that's the last time you saw Victoria Wain? That's correct.
After we helped her with her nightmare, she no longer needed our services.
And you wouldn't have any idea where she might be? None whatsoever.
You know, it doesn't really ring a bell, but Maybe if I could see some full body shots.
Preferably lingerie, or swimwear.
Hannah said you helped cure her fear of heights.
Yeah, beach party.
Daiquiris.
Piles of cocaine.
You know, that describes a lot of the parties I go to, so you gotta be a little more specific.
I don't recall.
You don't recall.
I think you're hiding something.
I think you know exactly what's causing this rift, black hole fucking anomaly.
And I think this girl has something to do with it.
Like I said, I don't recall.
That thing is getting bigger, Connor.
In the next 48 hours, it's gonna take in that whole science building.
And when it does, this thing is going public.
How do you think the people are gonna react, Connor? Huh? When Anderson Cooper has to interrupt a story about a fucking Kardashian to let everybody know that there's a world-ending black hole? No idea.
But it'll make for some good TV, right? Cool it, Hobbs! Thank you.
No more lies, Connor.
Tell us how you opened the rift.
Look.
I can only tell you what I know.
We were running a business.
That's it.
Once Hannah had the idea for us to use the brain frame for fantasy and therapy, we had a lot of customers.
I don't remember this girl because we were too busy making money.
We were on a roll.
Nothing could stop us.
Hold on to your butts.
Hit it, Sam.
I want Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, and Marilyn Monroe, please.
Great choices.
I want Patrick Swayze, but black.
Blacktrick Swayze coming up.
Can I just bang like three Ryan Goslings? Why not make it - Four Goslings? - Can't get enough of that baby goose.
I want my fingers to be - Dicks.
- Wow.
That's a lot of dicks.
I want my nipples to shoot lasers.
Laser tits.
We can do that.
I want to have sex with every Disney prince.
- Even Simba from the Lion King? - Yes.
No judgment, Berkman.
Well, fuck.
Ladies and gentlemen, one more time put your hands together for Mystikal.
Don't it feel good? Ain't he making us feel good tonight? Alright.
I think he is Good to go.
Let's do it.
- Ready when you are.
- Hannah, can I get you anything? - Bottled water? - Uh, I think we're good, Sammy boy.
Unless I can get a smile? He's kidding.
OK.
Oh hey, Larry, remember this guy wants to kill Jar Jar with an actual knife.
Not a light saber.
So let's cue up those Saving Private Ryan files we've got.
Mmm, cue it up I will.
No more of that.
Hello? - Dean Samuelson.
- What a surprise.
Yeah, I just thought I'd drop by and say, you know, thank you for getting me that check.
I know I was a little harsh earlier, about threatening to take away your scholarship, but uh That's not me.
That's not us.
That's not what we have.
And I just wanted to say, you know, we're good, alright? Let's let, uh - Let's let bygones be bygones.
- Uh That's great, thank you.
Yeah - What's all this? - Uh, doing lab experiments.
Yeah, that's bullshit, alright? I want to know exactly what is going on down here, alright? Saw some flier earlier about living out your dreams.
I think you little chuckle fucks are up to something.
I want to know what this is.
I want to know what's going on over here.
What is this? Fears? Stress? Dick fingers I don't like the sound of that one.
Larry Cancel the sequence.
Fuck you! - Let me out! - He's gonna crack.
He already has.
- I'm going in.
- Wait.
What the fuck is wrong with you?! Let him stew a little longer.
We need answers now.
If this thing gets out, we'll be up shit creek - with our dicks in our hands.
- I said hold off.
God damn it! God damn it! Fuck! Sam! What the fuck were you thinking? I didn't like where his line of questioning was headed.
- So you bludgeoned him? - A justified bludgeoning.
What? Guys, what we're doing in here is some serious fringe science.
Highly illegal mad laboratory shit.
He could take all of that away from us, or worse.
- Tell my dad.
- No.
- He could send us to jail.
- Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
- Oh - Calm down, Sam.
What do we do with him? We put him in an Uber, we tell the driver he had too much to drink.
No.
We strip him naked and then we drop him off at the front steps of an elementary school.
- No.
- When he comes to, he could remember everything.
We can't take the risk.
Why don't we hook him up to the machine? What did you say? Everyone's got demons.
You know? I'm sure Dean Samuelson's got plenty.
- Blackmail.
- Justified blackmail.
Yeah.
Right.
It's our only shot.
Here we go.
- It's normal not to remember any of it.
- Thank you! You sure about this, boss? No, I'm not sure about it, but Sam and I can't go in.
He knows us.
And we need a third man to keep the dream stable.
Thank you for believing in me.
It's only because there's literally no one else.
I won't let you down.
Okay, guys.
I'm sending you directly into his head.
What? No brain frame? No, we're not prepped for it, we don't have time.
He could wake up any second.
So just go in there, get what you need, and get the hell out.
Stealth mission.
Copy that.
Also, we didn't have time for a dream history, so I have no idea what I'm sending you into.
Could be an orgy, could be a nightmare.
Well, I've been to a few orgies that were total nightmares.
You gotta have snacks.
- Hannah, just be careful, okay? - We got it, Sam.
Thank you.
- Connor? - Yeah? If I don't make it Take care of Mr.
Peanuts.
Of course, he won't feel a thing.
- Hit it Sam.
- No, no! I was talking about Oh Larry What do I do? Go with it.
What's happening? Where are you? We're in church.
Looks Catholic.
- Have you spotted him yet? - Not yet.
Wait, I've got him.
He's up front.
Well, what's he doing? He's praying.
He's literally dreaming about praying in church.
Alright, hang in there.
We'll see where this is headed.
Thank Christ I'm a Jew.
I don't know if we're gonna find any dirt on this guy.
Who the hell dreams about sitting in church? Shhh! You shhh! - You're not even real.
- Page 430.
From the hymnal.
Me? What the hell is going on? Larry's part of the dream.
And they want him to sing.
Tell him to sing, damn it! If the dean senses something's off, we'll never find anything.
Sing.
I can't sing.
I can't sing.
I Larry.
Sing.
A ve Mari i a.
Guys.
What's going on? A ve - A ve.
- Other than Larry butchering a classic, not much.
Maria No, no, no, no! I'm reading a new REM cycle.
Wait.
Where did the dean go? Maria He's going out the back door.
Let's go.
Mari a.
Where are you guys going? Ay macare na.
Where are we? Looks like the college.
Do you have eyes on him? I think we lost him.
- Wait, is Larry with you? - No, we left him at the church.
But he seemed really happy.
Shit, that dreams about to end! A ve Mari A - Larry, get out of there! - Ava Maria.
Guys what's happening? Ava Mari ! Guys, Larry's out.
We don't have much longer, you're losing stability.
Oh no! No! It's alright! Hey, you're okay.
You're okay.
Oh, it smells really bad.
Hi.
Hey.
I think I've got him.
Connor, I think we have something here.
Where'd he go? - Okay.
It's okay.
- I'm so sorry.
I could have just stopped the hymn and - Oh God - Damn it, he's too unstable.
I'm gonna cut the plug.
I'm shutting this down, you guys.
Wait, wait, Connor.
I see him.
No, no, no, no! - What are you hiding? - Nothing.
- What is this? - I'm not hiding anything.
M.
W.
? He can't find out about this! I'll lose everything I've worked for! Nooooooo! - Oh, I feel like I'm gonna puke.
- Why am I tied up? This is unacceptable! You two, stop puking and fucking untie me! What the hell is - Damn it, Sam, stop bludgeoning him! - Sorry.
- Did you guys find anything in there? - No.
Nothing.
Shit! Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
What are we gonna do? Wait, wait.
He was like, shredding a bunch of paper in his office.
But all of the papers had an M and a W on them.
M.
W.
M.
W.
Uh Mookie Wilson? Michael Winslow? Michelle Wodriquez? No Michelle Williams? - Michelle Williams? - Mark Wahlberg.
No, he's an angel.
Montgomery Wittington? Your dad? He knows the Dean from the university board.
He gives a lot of money to the school.
There was a bear shoving a bunch of cash into a bag.
Bear? You think he's stealing from him? Well, there's only one way to find out.
Oh! Damn it! Rise and shine, Dean.
- Did you sleep well? - What have you done to me? We saw what you were shredding.
I don't know what you're talking about.
If my dad finds out what you've done Well, I think you know what he's capable of.
I'm not scared of you.
Well, you should be.
Because if Montgomery Wittington hears what you've been doing You will lose everything you've worked for.
I cannot believe that worked.
We totally blackmailed a high-ranking official.
I've been wanting to do that for a long time.
Ha ha, alcohol makes me woozy.
I think you mean drunk.
No, woozy.
I'm not supposed to be drinking on my medication.
Party time! - Whoa, Larry.
- No, no, no.
Larry, come on.
How you doing? You know, just, uh, celebrating all our illegal activities.
- Kinda fun though, right? - Mhm.
Hey, I wanted to thank you.
For what? Oh, I don't know Kidnapping me.
Invading my dreams.
Introducing me to this Weird, crazy world we've discovered.
Seriously though? I'm having the time of my life.
In some strange way, it's just - Exactly what I needed.
- Good.
I'm glad I could help.
I know it's boring for you sometimes.
- Mmmmm - But look at it this way We're doing something that's never been done before.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Party time, right? - Okay.
Let's go! I see the light we dream the dreams maybe I've been brought to my knees drag me, drag me don't drag me, drag me I'm ready to talk! What have you got for us? An address.
Mullins.
- What do you have? - The hack team.
They found Victoria Wayne isn't the only one missing.
My team just discovered 11 more college kids missing.
And guess what? Over half used the brain frame.
It's time to tell the full story, Sam.
Oh my God.
It was supposed to be the party of the century.
Oh shit.