Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e22 Episode Script

Double Darkwings

# Daring duck of mystery # Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows # Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes # But his number's up Three.
two.
one # Darkwing Duck # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck Let's get dangerous.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck! # Cloud of smoke and he appears # A master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind # That shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure # Bad guys are out of luck.
'cause here comes - # Darkwing Duck - # Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out.
you bad boys # Darkwing Duck! ["DOUBLE DARKWINGS".]
(jungle birds squawk) Hold it now, Gumbo.
We gettin' real close, I guarantee.
There it is - the cabin of my dearly sweet Granny Whammy.
Howdy! (cackles) What's the matter, Jake? Scared of your own granny? I love that woman.
- Did ya get it? - Right here, Granny.
just like ya said.
(sniff) Ooh, boy, Granny.
That potion smell like rotten possum gizzards.
D'ow! It is rotten possum gizzards.
That's my dinner.
Potion kettle's over yonder.
Bayou, bayou, hoochie-coo.
Powerful potion coming through.
That's him, the lowdown critter that ruinated my lowdown scheme.
Ohh! (cackles) If you wanna get that critter, you gotta hit him the face with this hex powder.
But remember - there's only one helping of this here.
Sure is nice of you helping me out like this, Granny.
You know why I'm doin' it, don't ya, Jambalaya Jake? 'Cause-in' I'm your favorite-est grandchil'? No.
'Cause you're gonna pay me 10,000 bucks.
Jump back, Granny.
You say 10,000 bucks? That's right, and if you don't pay, well, let's just say I could make a mighty fine potion out of Gumbo here.
(whimpers) (cackles) Gumbo, you wait.
Jump back now.
Slow down, Gumbo.
The object of these exercises is for you to improve your skills as Darkwing Decoy, not Chuckles the Clown.
Roger, DW.
We are now going to practice the tricky maneuver I call the double-reverse paddle-drop boom-boom kick.
Now let's see you do the double-reverse paddle-drop boom-boom kick.
Well, here goes nothin'.
(crash) How'd I do? Whoa-oa-oa! Still needs work.
Haven't we trained enough, DW? I'm gettin' hungry.
Let's take a break.
Hah! Crime doesn't break for burgers, LP.
Maybe that's why crooks are so cranky.
Just pay attention.
For Darkwing Decoy to fool anyone, you need to be familiar with state-of-the-art crime-fighting technology! Like this baby.
First, let's practice with firing the ever-useful grappling hook.
Oh, wow, thanks, DW.
You never let me hold Oops.
Oops? What do you mean, oops? You know, this might be a good time to take a break.
Great.
There's a Hamburger Hippo just around the corner.
(siren wailing) Ooh, we back in the city now, Gumbo, and right outside the telephone company, just like I figured.
Now, once Granny's hex powder puts that caped critter under my control, ooh, I'm gonna strip this city clean as a possum's belly.
Gumbo, quit foolin' around.
We got us a duck to trap.
(groans) Mm-mmm, ooh, me, oh, my-o.
Nothin' like a hot Cajun Louisiana 'basco with cayenne pepper sauce.
You sure it's hot enough? (sniffs) (coughs) Oh, yabba, that ought to grab his attention.
Ooh, dis'll send a call Darkwing gonna have to answer.
We got ourselves a real hot line.
Time to reach out and torch someone.
- You sure about this, DW? - Of course I'm sure.
I'm going to demonstrate how to deflect a surprise attack.
Now, as soon as I turn the corner, hit me with that club.
But I don't wanna hurt ya.
Ha-ha.
I wouldn't worry about that.
(phone rings) Must be a long-distance call.
Why did you do that? Sorry, DW, but you told me to hit you over the head when you - Didn't you see the big flash of light? - No, but I'm not the one that got conked.
This looks like the source of all the trouble and an excellent opportunity to employ Darkwing Decoy.
You go in first and distract the phone felons.
Then I'll show up and make my usual dramatic capture.
Right-o, DW.
"Come into my parlor," said the bullfrog to the fly.
Ahem.
I am the error that flaps in the night.
I am the surcharge that triples your bill.
(giggles) Chew on that, Darkwing.
Come on out.
Come on out and fight.
I'll pulverize ya.
Launchpad, just what are you doing? Sorry, DW.
Guess they got away.
It's not your fault, LP.
I should never have sent a decoy to do a hero's work.
Hoo-hoo, boy, time to bring that hex to a boil.
Aren't you going to change out of your decoy uniform, Launchpad? Yeah, as soon as I get the energy to put on my jammies.
Whoo, rough day, DW.
Ach, every day is rough when you're fighting crime.
Bayou, bayou, hoochie-coo.
Come here, critter.
Jambalaya Jake want you.
There he be.
(footsteps splashing in the water) Ooh, I hear him coming, Gumbo.
You called for me? I sure did.
You're mine now, boy.
(sniffs) Hmm (sniffs) Whoo-oo.
Something rotten in this sewer.
Just like I suspected.
This ain't no genuine article.
I hexed the wrong critter, Gumbo.
I gotta go back and get Granny to fix me another helping of potion.
Uh-uh.
But remember - there's only one helping of potion, and there ain't no more.
You're right, Gumbo.
We're up the bayou without a paddle.
Aw, get rid of him, Gumbo.
He ain't no use to us.
(snarls) What do I look like, Gumbo, one of Granny's flapjacks? And I thought I told you to get rid of him.
(roars) (howls) Wait just a crawdad-crawlin' second here.
Mwah.
We got us something special here, Gumbo.
We do? This boy's gonna help us ruinate the reputation of that lowdown Darkwing Duck.
Plus, make us a mess of money, too.
Now you go do exactly what I told you to do.
Yes, master.
Ooh, I love it when he say that.
(both laugh) What in the name of? (brakes squeal) I am the terror that flaps in the night.
I am the itch in your trigger finger.
I don't get it, Darkwing Duck.
What's up? Your time is what's up unless you hand over the loot.
We interrupt our program to show you actual footage taken earlier today by a bank security camera.
Darkwing Duck continues his reign of terror that flaps in the night.
Only moments ago, Darkwing Duck robbed a 70-year-old couple of all their valuables.
What's next, Darkwing Duck, stealing candy from a baby? (baby crying) This is Dan Gander reminding you to lock your doors.
Darkwing Duck is on the loose.
My stellar reputation is ruined.
I've been defiled, I've been defaced, I've been framed.
Is this any way for my illustrious career to end, to have my good name dragged through the mud but some rotten, no-good, mudslinging, name-dragging fiend? Launchpad, I've been looking for you everywhere.
Somebody's out there committing crimes pretending to be Darkwing Duck.
Jambalaya Jake and his comical, yet dangerous, alligator Gumbo.
In the flesh, I guarantee.
Let's get rid of this meddlin' duck once and for all time.
Come on, Launchpad, we've gotta stop him.
What do you mean, "we"? Launchpad, don't ya know me? What are you doing? Getting rid of the meddling duck.
Ow Familiar with the double-reverse paddle-drop boom-boom kick? What do ya mean, am I familiar? I've got it copyrighted, not to mention two patents pending and Yeow! So? Sue me.
Look like all the fight been kicked out of you, city boy.
But just in case (Irish brogue) This is the police.
Throw down your weapons.
You're under arrest.
Uh-oh, look like it time to do the bayou two-step.
(Jake) Come on now, Gumbo.
Ah, am I glad to see you fellas.
I've always said, "St.
Canard's finest and Darkwing Duck make an unbeatable combina" Darkwing Duck, you're under arrest.
You have the right to remain silent.
You don't understand.
I'm innocent! Now I know what they mean by the long arm of the law.
Like a common criminal, Darkwing Duck is shackled and taken to the penitentiary, but he refuses to be a victim of injustice.
Mark my words, this prison isn't big enough to hold me.
Maybe not, but you're going to be in that prison.
Oh.
Unh.
Pretty sweet racket you had going all these years, Darkwing Duck.
What's that supposed to mean? Pretending to be some kind of hero.
You was probably on the take the whole time.
Listen, you felonious lawbreaker, I never committed a crime in my life.
Oh, yeah? So how come you're in this country club with the rest of us mutts? Psst, I don't know who's responsible, but I was framed.
I'm completely innocent.
No.
Hey, fellas, dis guy's innocent.
He was framed.
(laughter) (inmate #2) What a cowinky dink.
I was framed.
(inmate #3) Me too.
I'm as innocent as Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Uh, you boys plan on getting back to work anytime soon? Yes, sir, Rupert.
Pull! I'll give ya some advice.
Don't mess with Rupert, or he'll send ya to the box.
Ooh, what's the box? - You don't wanna know.
- Yes, I do wanna know.
- (clunk) - Yeow! Now, whose hammer head might this be? I want you boys to see this.
You don't play by my rules, you wind up in the box like him.
(grunts) This here store-bought shoppin' beats the pants off of catalog shoppin', I guarantee.
Granny! What a surprise.
If I knew you was comin', I'd have baked a sweet potato pie.
Where's my money, Jambalaya Jake? Look here, Granny, I make you my solemn bayou promise.
I'll have that money for you real soon.
You'd better.
This is your last chance, Jambalaya Jake.
I love that woman.
(pants) Darkwing Duck, falsely imprisoned for crimes he never committed, attempts to dig his way to freedom using only a spoon he snuck out of the meal hall.
Just my luck they served espresso today instead of soup.
- (siren wailing) - Uh-oh.
(Rupert) Hold it right there, Darkwing Duck! Despite staggering odds, Darkwing Duck refuses to lose hope.
He searches his pocket for a weapon, but finds nothing but sand.
(cheering and applause) Thank you, thank you.
But now I must take my leave.
(Rupert) Hold it.
Not so fast.
These are for you.
Ah, whoo, yeah, boy.
Ooh, this sure is the life.
Uh-huh.
Heh-heh-heh-heh.
Granny Whammy, have you? No.
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
I am the current of vengeance gurgling through your sewer.
Ew.
I don't know how you busted out of the slammer, boy, but now we're gonna fight it out, man to man.
And here's the man that's gonna fight you.
Get him, boy.
Ruinate him.
Aah! Now we're gonna wash that troublemaker down the drain for good.
What the? Come on, boy.
Now we goin' fishin' in here.
(gasping for air) Darkwing Duck emerges from the raging waters of the sewer, moistened but triumphant.
Uh-oh.
Must be some sort of water-treatment system.
Ruinate him.
Jump back, boy.
Don't do it.
Let me.
We gonna have some big fun now.
Huh? What's goin' on here? Ribbit.
What's the problem, Jakester, frog in your throat? Ribbit.
Granny Whammy? Ribbit.
You did that? That's right.
Where's my 10,000 smackeroonies? I got it, Granny.
It's back in the shack.
Ribbit.
Turn me back into my handsome self so I can go fetch it.
Huh? OK, Jake, but no funny business.
I got your Gumbo by the tail.
Don't you worry.
I'll be back quicker than a possum in a henhouse.
That's pretty quick.
Here you go, Granny.
Now come on, Gumbo.
We better be goin'.
Just one oyster-shuckin' minute.
Nothin' in this here sack but catfish bones and possum feet.
Come here, gator.
You're mine now.
Gumbo, you been holdin' out on old Jake? Oh, yeah.
Well, your gator's smart enough to save himself, but that don't 'scuse you from trying to spend money you promised me.
- What you gonna do to me, Granny? - Nothin', Jambalaya Jake.
'Cause-in I'm your favorite-est grandchild? No.
'Cause these city boys are gonna whip your hides good once I cancel that hex.
- But, Granny, you can't.
- Just watch me.
Bayou, bayou, hoochie-coo.
Lift the spell, that's what I'm gonna do.
So long, Grandson.
Launchpad, are you OK? I'm I'm not sure what's been going on, DW, but I just got one thing to say - Let's get dangerous.
Ditto, DW Decoy.
Come on, Gumbo.
I hear the swamp callin' us.
This way, Gumbo.
I am the terror That flaps in the night.
You boys wanna fight, come on, I'll whup ya with one hand tied behind my back.
DW, do that double-reverse paddle-drop boom-boom kick.
Hey, I said it.
And you can do it, too, Launchpad.
The ability is inside you, if you'll only believe in yourself.
Nice teamwork, Launchpad.
Launchpad? Uh, DW, I thought you said the ability was inside me if I just believed in myself.
Ah, yes, but it's buried a little deeper inside than I thought.
Dan Gander with an exclusive, folks.
Following an anonymous tip, police have just apprehended Darkwing Duck and his accomplice.
Any second now, they'll be comin' out, and we'll learn the secret identity of I don't believe it.
It's that born-on-the-bayou felon Jambalaya Jake and his alligator sidekick Dumbo.
- That's Gumbo.
- Thank you.
Just as this reporter suspected all along, folks, it never was Darkwing Duck committing those crimes.
It was these two impostors trying to ruin his reputation.
Oh, that was good thinkin', DW, dressin' those crooks up in our costumes.
I suppose so, Launchpad.
The good news is, our reputations are saved.
The bad news is, our uniforms are gone.
Now sit down.
We've got some sewing to do.
# Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck #
Previous EpisodeNext Episode