Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e41 Episode Script
It's a Wonderful Leaf
# Daring duck of mystery Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes But his number's up # Darkwing Duck When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing, Darkwing Duck # Cloud of smoke and he appears # Master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind that shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure But bad guys are out of luck # 'Cause here comes - # Darkwing Duck - # Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out, you bad boys # Darkwing Duck # [wind howling.]
[crowd clamoring.]
[woman.]
Let go of it! [man.]
What do you mean? [woman.]
Let go of it! Hey, you, let go of it! Give it to me! [both yelling.]
Holy snowplow.
What a bunch of pushy poinsettias.
Christmas shopping gets more dangerous every year.
[yells.]
[all yelling.]
[panting.]
Why do I always wait till the last minute to do my shopping? Ah, perfect! The galleria garden shop! Hmm, let's see now.
I've still gotta get something for Daisy, Iris, Lily, Rose.
Mmm, one of these might be - [man.]
Get out of there! - [all yelling.]
Oh, well, this watering can will be just fine.
Yeah, right! I'll take it! [stammering.]
Excuse me, sir, but I believe I was here first.
- [yelling.]
- [crashing.]
[man.]
Happy holidays.
Ooh, a pretty plant.
Ow! Hey, kid! Easy on the foliage, huh? Wah! [gasps.]
It's a plant monster! Where, where, where? Oof! Ow, ow! Stop it! Ouch! Ooh! Yah! [clamoring.]
Plant monster! Christmas.
Bah grub-bug.
Everyone treats me like last year's fruitcake.
Well, I'll fix this sappy season.
And when I get done with Christmas, St.
Canard will be glad it only comes once a year! Ah, Christmas.
What a shame it only comes once a year.
Now, then.
Let's get decorative.
Ah! Not bad, eh, LP? Launchpad? Sorry, DW.
I guess I got a little [laughs.]
caught up in my work.
[sighs.]
You know, there's something about this time of year - that makes everything seem peaceful.
- [crashing.]
Yahoo! - Gosalyn, stop! - Sorry! No brakes! [both yell.]
[mumbling, groaning.]
Uh, sorry, Dad.
But I found this cool prehistoric sled and couldn't wait to try it.
That is my prehistoric sled.
- [Launchpad.]
Not anymore.
- In that case, I better open my presents early.
I'm sure I put a sled on my Christmas list.
Yep, here it is.
Right between the Shetland pony and the stereo.
Gosalyn, I told you before: it's a Christmas tradition to open your presents on Christmas morning.
Oh, no.
Please, please, don't make me wait that long.
I'll never make it! It's no use! It's impossible! - It's tomorrow morning.
- Oh, all right.
I'll wait not.
[clock chimes.]
Captain Gosalyn scans the horizon.
A-ha! Target sighted.
I am the terror that unwraps at night.
- [alarm blaring.]
- Gosalyn! You're not trying to open your presents, are you? No, Dad! Just replacing an ornament! After all, I wouldn't want to break a Christmas tradition.
- Don't you dare! - My dad, the Christmas cop.
[Bushroot.]
Calling all trees.
Calling all trees.
The time has come to turn the yuletide, to break your popcorn chains, to toss off your tinsel and to rise up against your oppressors! Now, fall in and onward to victory! Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four! Calling all trees, calling all trees.
Prepare for Operation Christmas Cheer.
[snoring.]
Wah! He stole my dolly! [gasps.]
You thief! - Take that! And that! - Ow! - And that, and that! - Ow and ow and ow! [bell ringing.]
Happy holidays.
[laughs.]
Peace on Earth.
Ouch! Hey, gimme that, you creep! [birds chirping.]
[sighs.]
Now that's the holiday spirit.
[chuckles.]
Spoiling Christmas is gonna be easier than I thought.
[all yelling.]
- [Santa.]
Why, I oughta - Now, for phase two: Sinister Santa.
Ho, ho, ho! Have a candy cane.
And have a merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho ho! And what do you want, little boy? - I want a drum.
- Good, because I want you to beat it.
Oh, looks like you're last, little girl.
Too bad I'm all out of gifts.
And I'll need this dolly for next year.
Wah! Ho, ho, ho! - What are you looking at? - You don't fool me.
You're not Santa.
- You're too skinny and too green! - Ow! That hurt! - [boy yells.]
- Tank! Now where's that boy off to? Hey, it's Santa Claus! Oof! Aren't you a little big for this? - Hey, you, Santa! - [girl crying.]
You made my little girl cry! - [yelling.]
- Ow! Ow! Ow! - Cut that! - [all clamoring.]
Get that stinking Santa Claus! Ho, ho, ho.
Gee, DW, did you really need to buy this many gifts? Of course! This is Christmas, remember? A time of giving, a time of sharing, a time of My fruitcake! Help! Someone stole my fruitcake! Hmm.
Who would steal fruitcake? I wish I knew.
I can never get rid of the stuff.
- Someone stole my purse.
- Someone stole my bell.
Launchpad, this is a job for Santa Claus? [chuckles.]
I meant to do that.
Sure.
Disguised as Santa, I'll hunt down these holiday havoc-wreakers and There he is! There's Santa! Ah! Looks like some of Santa's fans, Launchpad.
- Ho, ho ho? - Get Santa! [yelling.]
Hmm.
Something tells me that some sinister force is sapping the season's spirit.
I'm really not sinister, just misunderstood.
A-ha! Bushroot! I should have known that you were really at the root of this riotous ruckus.
Everyone's gotta celebrate in their own way.
Well, the Christmas party's over.
Maybe for you, but we're just warming up.
- We? - Yoo-hoo, boys! [both.]
Yipe! This time, you've gone too far, Bushroot.
Using Christmas trees to ruin Christmas! Why it's it's it's It's just not Christmas-y.
Well, sorry I can't stay to see you get your feathers flogged.
But we've got a Christmas to kill! Merry ho, ho, ho! Gee, DW, it looks like we could really be up a tree this time.
Not if I can help it, Launchpad.
Now, suck tinsel, pinecone breath! Whoa! Nice decorations.
[chuckles.]
Somehow that's not what I expected.
[tree whistles catcall.]
Come on, LP, let's make like reindeer and fly.
[bell rings.]
Phew! That was close.
Now if I only knew which way Bushroot and those holiday hooligans were headed.
We could follow that trail of pine needles.
[scoffs.]
Sure, if you wanna do it the easy way.
Calling all trees.
Calling all trees.
# 'Tis the season to be greedy # Proceed with Operation Bah-Humbug.
Or, in other words, grab those gifts! Hey! Who ate the heads off all the gingerbread men? I wanted to do that.
Ow! Stupid tree.
Hey! Hey, you big dirty tree.
What are you? [muttering.]
Ooh, I missed one.
There you go, big fella.
A perfect fit.
Now then, have yourself a very merry Christmas.
And remember, a gift worth giving is a gift worth taking.
- [alarm blaring.]
- Oh, no! A tree alarm? I hate those things! Hey, you put those gifts back.
Hey! [Gosalyn.]
Wait! You come back here! No one's gonna open my Christmas presents early unless it's me! [Bushroot.]
Oh, joy to the world.
Operation Bah-Humbug is a success.
Careful, now.
We don't want anybody stubbing their mistletoes.
Ho, ho! Now that I've stolen all the presents, Christmas will be nothing but stale eggnog.
[engine revs.]
It's a wonderful life! Oh, no! Not that pesky duck again.
Hey, what do you think you are, Santa's little helper? Your Christmas crime spree is canceled, cranberry head! - I'm - [crashing.]
Wrong choice of words.
[groans.]
All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth.
Hi, Dad.
I see you already know about those sneaky trees.
But I'm about to put an end to their seasonal shenanigans.
- Launchpad? - Right here, DW.
Good! Because now it's time to do a little Christmas tree chopping.
Dad, look out! Quick, somebody unwrap me.
Shouldn't we wait until Christmas morning? [all grunt.]
Don't worry, Dad.
I'll save you.
[groaning.]
Whoa! [all shouting.]
[grunting.]
Keen gear! I'm never gonna forget this Christmas.
- [Darkwing.]
Gosalyn! - [all yelling.]
Whoa! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! [all yelling.]
I did it! I lost them! For once, I don't have to worry about Darkwing Duck! - [brakes screeching.]
- [crashing.]
[groaning.]
Hoo-boy! They ought to put seatbelts in those things.
Oh, no! Gosalyn, stop! I don't know how! Way cool! Look at all the presents.
- Can I keep 'em? - Now, Gosalyn.
You know 'tis better to give than to receive.
Aw, another Christmas tradition, right? Nope.
Just a little something that feels good when you do it.
Now, while you three play Santa and return these gifts, I'll do a little tree trimming.
Once again, our courageous Christmas crimefighter That's me.
searches for clues, ever watchful for the corrupt Christmas criminal.
That's me.
And no matter what hazards may befall him [grunts.]
nothing shall deter the diligence of Darkwing Duck.
Ah! Except, perhaps, a lasso of Christmas lights.
Sorry to pull you away from your holiday hyperbole, Darkwing.
No problem, Bushlips.
Now, put up your roots before I fumigate you! Hey, hey, hey! Careful with that gun.
[stammering.]
You might upset Douglas.
- Douglas? - Allow me to introduce my new friend: Douglas Fir.
[shouting, groaning.]
Oof! And now it's time to decorate the duck.
[thump.]
Yow! [panting.]
Thank you, Water Department.
[muffled yelling.]
My beak's frozen! Calling all trees.
Calling all trees.
Deck the duck with everything you've got! # Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la # [muffled shouting.]
That does it.
Hey, now where you going? Hold still, will ya? Sorry, boys.
The game's over.
It's time to hit the showers.
My trees! No! No! I'm too young to become a frozen vegetable! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, another fiendish plan nipped in the bud.
Hey, hey, hey! What's this? Why so glum? I just vanquished the villain, and you've returned the stolen gifts.
All except Honker's family.
Their presents were missing.
Luckily, mine were all here.
Aw Gee, Honk man.
I wish there was something we could do.
Aw, it's OK.
I'm sure the real Santa Claus will bring something.
- Poor little guy.
- [Gosalyn.]
He is not! I mean, you can't be poor if you have friends.
[snoring.]
[sleigh bells jingling.]
It's Santa Claus! [chuckling.]
[snickering.]
[Darkwing.]
Ho, ho, ho! Hey, you're not supposed to come in the win Merry Christmas! Yow! Help! Get me out of here! Help me! Merry Christmas! [parents talking, overlapping.]
[Darkwing.]
Merry Christmas some more.
Ho, ho, ho! You know, Gosalyn, giving the Muddlefoots your presents was a pretty nice thing to do.
I'm so proud of you.
Thanks, Dad.
[Launchpad.]
Hey, look at this.
Card reads: "To Gosalyn, from Santa.
" Oh, keen gear! My very own sled! Gee, DW, when did you get her that? I didn't get it.
I thought you Wait a minute.
If you didn't get it and I didn't get it, then who? Nah! [laughs.]
Then again, he is a Christmas tradition.
[Santa.]
Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! Stop! Santa, help! Please, I promise.
I'll never be a bad Tank again.
I promise! Just get me out of here! Help! # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck
[crowd clamoring.]
[woman.]
Let go of it! [man.]
What do you mean? [woman.]
Let go of it! Hey, you, let go of it! Give it to me! [both yelling.]
Holy snowplow.
What a bunch of pushy poinsettias.
Christmas shopping gets more dangerous every year.
[yells.]
[all yelling.]
[panting.]
Why do I always wait till the last minute to do my shopping? Ah, perfect! The galleria garden shop! Hmm, let's see now.
I've still gotta get something for Daisy, Iris, Lily, Rose.
Mmm, one of these might be - [man.]
Get out of there! - [all yelling.]
Oh, well, this watering can will be just fine.
Yeah, right! I'll take it! [stammering.]
Excuse me, sir, but I believe I was here first.
- [yelling.]
- [crashing.]
[man.]
Happy holidays.
Ooh, a pretty plant.
Ow! Hey, kid! Easy on the foliage, huh? Wah! [gasps.]
It's a plant monster! Where, where, where? Oof! Ow, ow! Stop it! Ouch! Ooh! Yah! [clamoring.]
Plant monster! Christmas.
Bah grub-bug.
Everyone treats me like last year's fruitcake.
Well, I'll fix this sappy season.
And when I get done with Christmas, St.
Canard will be glad it only comes once a year! Ah, Christmas.
What a shame it only comes once a year.
Now, then.
Let's get decorative.
Ah! Not bad, eh, LP? Launchpad? Sorry, DW.
I guess I got a little [laughs.]
caught up in my work.
[sighs.]
You know, there's something about this time of year - that makes everything seem peaceful.
- [crashing.]
Yahoo! - Gosalyn, stop! - Sorry! No brakes! [both yell.]
[mumbling, groaning.]
Uh, sorry, Dad.
But I found this cool prehistoric sled and couldn't wait to try it.
That is my prehistoric sled.
- [Launchpad.]
Not anymore.
- In that case, I better open my presents early.
I'm sure I put a sled on my Christmas list.
Yep, here it is.
Right between the Shetland pony and the stereo.
Gosalyn, I told you before: it's a Christmas tradition to open your presents on Christmas morning.
Oh, no.
Please, please, don't make me wait that long.
I'll never make it! It's no use! It's impossible! - It's tomorrow morning.
- Oh, all right.
I'll wait not.
[clock chimes.]
Captain Gosalyn scans the horizon.
A-ha! Target sighted.
I am the terror that unwraps at night.
- [alarm blaring.]
- Gosalyn! You're not trying to open your presents, are you? No, Dad! Just replacing an ornament! After all, I wouldn't want to break a Christmas tradition.
- Don't you dare! - My dad, the Christmas cop.
[Bushroot.]
Calling all trees.
Calling all trees.
The time has come to turn the yuletide, to break your popcorn chains, to toss off your tinsel and to rise up against your oppressors! Now, fall in and onward to victory! Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four! Calling all trees, calling all trees.
Prepare for Operation Christmas Cheer.
[snoring.]
Wah! He stole my dolly! [gasps.]
You thief! - Take that! And that! - Ow! - And that, and that! - Ow and ow and ow! [bell ringing.]
Happy holidays.
[laughs.]
Peace on Earth.
Ouch! Hey, gimme that, you creep! [birds chirping.]
[sighs.]
Now that's the holiday spirit.
[chuckles.]
Spoiling Christmas is gonna be easier than I thought.
[all yelling.]
- [Santa.]
Why, I oughta - Now, for phase two: Sinister Santa.
Ho, ho, ho! Have a candy cane.
And have a merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho ho! And what do you want, little boy? - I want a drum.
- Good, because I want you to beat it.
Oh, looks like you're last, little girl.
Too bad I'm all out of gifts.
And I'll need this dolly for next year.
Wah! Ho, ho, ho! - What are you looking at? - You don't fool me.
You're not Santa.
- You're too skinny and too green! - Ow! That hurt! - [boy yells.]
- Tank! Now where's that boy off to? Hey, it's Santa Claus! Oof! Aren't you a little big for this? - Hey, you, Santa! - [girl crying.]
You made my little girl cry! - [yelling.]
- Ow! Ow! Ow! - Cut that! - [all clamoring.]
Get that stinking Santa Claus! Ho, ho, ho.
Gee, DW, did you really need to buy this many gifts? Of course! This is Christmas, remember? A time of giving, a time of sharing, a time of My fruitcake! Help! Someone stole my fruitcake! Hmm.
Who would steal fruitcake? I wish I knew.
I can never get rid of the stuff.
- Someone stole my purse.
- Someone stole my bell.
Launchpad, this is a job for Santa Claus? [chuckles.]
I meant to do that.
Sure.
Disguised as Santa, I'll hunt down these holiday havoc-wreakers and There he is! There's Santa! Ah! Looks like some of Santa's fans, Launchpad.
- Ho, ho ho? - Get Santa! [yelling.]
Hmm.
Something tells me that some sinister force is sapping the season's spirit.
I'm really not sinister, just misunderstood.
A-ha! Bushroot! I should have known that you were really at the root of this riotous ruckus.
Everyone's gotta celebrate in their own way.
Well, the Christmas party's over.
Maybe for you, but we're just warming up.
- We? - Yoo-hoo, boys! [both.]
Yipe! This time, you've gone too far, Bushroot.
Using Christmas trees to ruin Christmas! Why it's it's it's It's just not Christmas-y.
Well, sorry I can't stay to see you get your feathers flogged.
But we've got a Christmas to kill! Merry ho, ho, ho! Gee, DW, it looks like we could really be up a tree this time.
Not if I can help it, Launchpad.
Now, suck tinsel, pinecone breath! Whoa! Nice decorations.
[chuckles.]
Somehow that's not what I expected.
[tree whistles catcall.]
Come on, LP, let's make like reindeer and fly.
[bell rings.]
Phew! That was close.
Now if I only knew which way Bushroot and those holiday hooligans were headed.
We could follow that trail of pine needles.
[scoffs.]
Sure, if you wanna do it the easy way.
Calling all trees.
Calling all trees.
# 'Tis the season to be greedy # Proceed with Operation Bah-Humbug.
Or, in other words, grab those gifts! Hey! Who ate the heads off all the gingerbread men? I wanted to do that.
Ow! Stupid tree.
Hey! Hey, you big dirty tree.
What are you? [muttering.]
Ooh, I missed one.
There you go, big fella.
A perfect fit.
Now then, have yourself a very merry Christmas.
And remember, a gift worth giving is a gift worth taking.
- [alarm blaring.]
- Oh, no! A tree alarm? I hate those things! Hey, you put those gifts back.
Hey! [Gosalyn.]
Wait! You come back here! No one's gonna open my Christmas presents early unless it's me! [Bushroot.]
Oh, joy to the world.
Operation Bah-Humbug is a success.
Careful, now.
We don't want anybody stubbing their mistletoes.
Ho, ho! Now that I've stolen all the presents, Christmas will be nothing but stale eggnog.
[engine revs.]
It's a wonderful life! Oh, no! Not that pesky duck again.
Hey, what do you think you are, Santa's little helper? Your Christmas crime spree is canceled, cranberry head! - I'm - [crashing.]
Wrong choice of words.
[groans.]
All I want for Christmas are my two front teeth.
Hi, Dad.
I see you already know about those sneaky trees.
But I'm about to put an end to their seasonal shenanigans.
- Launchpad? - Right here, DW.
Good! Because now it's time to do a little Christmas tree chopping.
Dad, look out! Quick, somebody unwrap me.
Shouldn't we wait until Christmas morning? [all grunt.]
Don't worry, Dad.
I'll save you.
[groaning.]
Whoa! [all shouting.]
[grunting.]
Keen gear! I'm never gonna forget this Christmas.
- [Darkwing.]
Gosalyn! - [all yelling.]
Whoa! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! [all yelling.]
I did it! I lost them! For once, I don't have to worry about Darkwing Duck! - [brakes screeching.]
- [crashing.]
[groaning.]
Hoo-boy! They ought to put seatbelts in those things.
Oh, no! Gosalyn, stop! I don't know how! Way cool! Look at all the presents.
- Can I keep 'em? - Now, Gosalyn.
You know 'tis better to give than to receive.
Aw, another Christmas tradition, right? Nope.
Just a little something that feels good when you do it.
Now, while you three play Santa and return these gifts, I'll do a little tree trimming.
Once again, our courageous Christmas crimefighter That's me.
searches for clues, ever watchful for the corrupt Christmas criminal.
That's me.
And no matter what hazards may befall him [grunts.]
nothing shall deter the diligence of Darkwing Duck.
Ah! Except, perhaps, a lasso of Christmas lights.
Sorry to pull you away from your holiday hyperbole, Darkwing.
No problem, Bushlips.
Now, put up your roots before I fumigate you! Hey, hey, hey! Careful with that gun.
[stammering.]
You might upset Douglas.
- Douglas? - Allow me to introduce my new friend: Douglas Fir.
[shouting, groaning.]
Oof! And now it's time to decorate the duck.
[thump.]
Yow! [panting.]
Thank you, Water Department.
[muffled yelling.]
My beak's frozen! Calling all trees.
Calling all trees.
Deck the duck with everything you've got! # Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la # [muffled shouting.]
That does it.
Hey, now where you going? Hold still, will ya? Sorry, boys.
The game's over.
It's time to hit the showers.
My trees! No! No! I'm too young to become a frozen vegetable! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, another fiendish plan nipped in the bud.
Hey, hey, hey! What's this? Why so glum? I just vanquished the villain, and you've returned the stolen gifts.
All except Honker's family.
Their presents were missing.
Luckily, mine were all here.
Aw Gee, Honk man.
I wish there was something we could do.
Aw, it's OK.
I'm sure the real Santa Claus will bring something.
- Poor little guy.
- [Gosalyn.]
He is not! I mean, you can't be poor if you have friends.
[snoring.]
[sleigh bells jingling.]
It's Santa Claus! [chuckling.]
[snickering.]
[Darkwing.]
Ho, ho, ho! Hey, you're not supposed to come in the win Merry Christmas! Yow! Help! Get me out of here! Help me! Merry Christmas! [parents talking, overlapping.]
[Darkwing.]
Merry Christmas some more.
Ho, ho, ho! You know, Gosalyn, giving the Muddlefoots your presents was a pretty nice thing to do.
I'm so proud of you.
Thanks, Dad.
[Launchpad.]
Hey, look at this.
Card reads: "To Gosalyn, from Santa.
" Oh, keen gear! My very own sled! Gee, DW, when did you get her that? I didn't get it.
I thought you Wait a minute.
If you didn't get it and I didn't get it, then who? Nah! [laughs.]
Then again, he is a Christmas tradition.
[Santa.]
Ho, ho, ho! Ho, ho, ho! Stop! Santa, help! Please, I promise.
I'll never be a bad Tank again.
I promise! Just get me out of here! Help! # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck