Darkwing Duck (1991) s01e52 Episode Script
Time and Punishment
# Daring duck of mystery Champion of right # Swoops out of the shadows Darkwing owns the night # Somewhere some villain schemes But his number's up # Darkwing Duck When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing, Darkwing Duck # Cloud of smoke and he appears # Master of surprise # Who's that cunning mind behind that shadowy disguise? # Nobody knows for sure But bad guys are out of luck # 'Cause here comes - # Darkwing Duck - # Look out! # When there's trouble you call DW # Darkwing Duck # Let's get dangerous # Darkwing Duck # Better watch out, you bad boys # Darkwing Duck # [Darkwing.]
But you know I work nights.
You should've been in bed hours ago.
And walk out on The Viper Zombies from Wormwood Creek movie marathon? Not in this universe.
Heck, I wouldn't miss the scene where the chainsawing cannibals beg for mercy from the slimy mutant slugs.
Uh, gee, this popcorn isn't half as tasty as it was a second ago.
Well, you're just lucky that it's been such a quiet night.
- [zapping.]
- Hang on! - Gee.
- Wow.
Whoa.
[Darkwing.]
Megavolt must've sucked half the city's power to charge that thing.
[gasps.]
And he's not alone.
It's that lunatic toymaker, Quakerjack.
Ah, no sweat.
Come on troops, let's cage those creeps.
Reality check.
We're the crime fighters, you are the obedient daughter who stays put and out of trouble.
Uh, just exactly what reality are we checking? Aw, Dad, do we really have to go through this again? I'm serious, Gos.
If something happened to you, I I don't know what I'd do.
OK, I promise I won't get involved.
[smooching.]
That's my girl.
Come on, LP, we've got cons to collar.
Right behind you, DW.
Course, I never promised I wouldn't watch.
OK, Quacky, the Time Top's all charged and ready to go bye bye.
Whee! Megs, do you realize what this means? All the wonders of the future will be ours.
Basal fusion yo-yos.
Ion spinning jump ropes.
Particle beam fuzzy bears.
And cool electric cars, micron solar cells, Zillion watt lightbulbs with lifetime guarantees.
[gasps.]
But traveling through time could put a hole in the space-time continuum, wreak havoc with history, inalterably change the past, present, and future forever! Actually, it sounds kind of fun.
They're getting away.
Where's Dad? Ah, gee, DW, maybe next time we could just use the door? And ruin a great entrance? [groaning.]
This oughta slow 'em down until Dad gets here.
[Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
About time.
I am the batteries that are not included.
I am Darkwing Duck.
Oh, like we didn't know that.
Let me out.
I'll make him sizzle like spit on a griddle.
Ooh, aren't we sounding folksy.
Listen, Gomer, wouldn't frying be more fun with a [giggles.]
a plasma powered skillet from the future? Well, what are we waiting for? The future awaits! Ooh, hope this holds.
Approaching with stylish, yet careful caution, the midnight merryman maneuvers towards the manglers of justice.
Come on, Dad, speed it up.
Oh, no! Whoa! [Darkwing.]
Now, the Duck of Doom prepares to [Gosalyn.]
Dad, help me! Gosalyn? Oh, and I used to stand in line for rides like this.
Whoa! Was that an earthquake? Who cares? This is the future.
And it's play time! To the toy factory! Get real, chuckles.
We're staying right here so I can try out these new fusion generators.
Well, I say we put it to a vote.
All those in favor of the toy factory, say "Aye.
" Aye.
[high pitched voice.]
Aye.
- Nays? - Nay.
Well, looks like the ayes have it.
No fair.
He always sides with you.
Whoa.
Check it out.
Gee, they sure cleaned things up.
Not very friendly looking, though.
[screams.]
I tried to say I was sorry, but he wouldn't listen.
Oh, you gotta help me.
[gasps.]
Oh, no! It's too late.
Oh, sorry.
We make it a point never to get involved.
[gasps.]
[Darkwing.]
I am the terror that hunts in the night! Dad? I am the jackal that gnaws at your bones! I'm not finished, I am Darkwarrior Duck! Maybe a year in the pen will teach you to use a crosswalk jaywalker.
He does that to jaywalkers? And you thought your insurance premiums were high now? What would he do to real criminals? Let's not stick around to find out, scout.
Back to the Time Top.
Maybe Dad's just having a bad day.
A really bad day.
A stint in solitary ought to teach him some respect for traffic laws.
[stammers.]
But, what about my right to a trial? Are you saying a jury wouldn't take my word? Uh, no, sir.
Not at all, sir.
Subject with bad haircut reported at corner of Lankershim and Magnolia, So, another criminal coiffure endangering the sensibilities of decent citizens? And I bet he has dandruff, too.
Wait, Dad! It's me! [groans.]
[gasping.]
Oh, that duck's even crazier than we are.
Extreme parking violation, Darkwarrior civil code requires impounding vehicle and incarcerating guilty parties, He did it, he did it! I was only a passenger.
- He was driving.
- Nonsense.
I couldn't possibly drive.
I don't have a license.
They're both guilty.
But, I was taken against my will.
- [all yelling.]
- [Quakerjack.]
You blamed me.
[squabbling.]
Boy, Dad needs a major attitude adjustment, he sounds more like a bad guy than a good guy.
Huh? What? - Where did everything go? - [Launchpad humming.]
- Launchpad! - [clank.]
[Launchpad moans.]
- Gosalyn! - Oh! It sure is good to see a friendly face.
Ooh, DW always said junk food would stunt your growth, but, I thought you'd be a little taller.
Where you been all these years? I haven't been anywhere.
I got stuck on Quakerjack's Time Top and ended up here in the future.
Uh, this is the future? Well, not for you it isn't.
But for me, it is.
Now, what's going on around here? The city looks like it's just been washed and waxed.
Streets are deserted and Dad's acting like Nobrain the barbarian.
Boy, I slip away for a couple of decades and the whole town goes down the tubes.
And how come you're not with Darkwing? Uh, that's, uh, Darkwarrior, kiddo.
And, well, it see, I'm, uh I'm not his sidekick anymore.
Well, how come? What happened? Well, I guess you happened.
Or, um, didn't happen.
[Launchpad.]
DW thought you ran away because he wouldn't let you help him, [rumbling.]
I tried to get him interested in his work again, but,,, [sighs.]
,,,it was no use, Slice him and dice him.
He was all washed up, But, one day, everything turned around for him, [girl screams.]
Hiyah! He rediscovered his purpose, To protect St, Canard from the forces of evil, It was time to get tough, Really tough, [all growling.]
Yep, yep, yep.
[sighs.]
Ah, the city loved him, He scared every crook out of St, Canard, But, DW said the city was still in danger, [Darkwing.]
Cease and desist, citizen.
Eat that and your cholesterol level is shot.
You're inviting a heart attack, pal.
Now, get home and steam some veggies before I really get mad.
[Launchpad.]
He wasn't Darkwing Duck anymore, He was Darkwarrior Duck, He said I was too soft on crime.
Because I thought we should arrest crooks before giving them the electric chair.
Well, I'll straighten him out, just as soon as I talk to him.
So, how do I talk to him? Beats me.
Nobody but nobody, talks to Darkwarrior Duck.
Unless they break a law.
And I thought this was gonna be hard.
- See? Worked like a charm.
- [alarm blares.]
[moans.]
That's what I was afraid of.
How dare they deface my face.
[scoffs.]
There he goes, over-reacting again.
- [beeping.]
- I've got you, my little sitting ducks.
Eat missile, graffiti heads.
That'll teach those [gasps.]
G-G-Gosalyn? [sputters.]
[grunts.]
Gosh, this sort of hurts.
[grunts.]
[Darkwing.]
Gosalyn? In the flesh.
- Now what the heck is going on - My little angel is back! You don't know how much I've missed you.
How about a hug for your little sidekick? Oh, it's you.
What's the matter? Run out of criminals to sympathize with? Looks like a clear case of the three "D's.
" Defacement.
Destruction.
And disorderly conduct.
Looks like it's the chair for you, my ex-compadre.
- [stammers.]
- Will you chill a sec? - I was the one who did it.
- Nonsense.
You were an innocent subverted by the wiles of a criminal mastermind.
Dad, we're talking about Launchpad here.
[stammers.]
Oh, well, that's right.
[clears throat.]
Well, perhaps I can be lenient this time.
Boys! I'll just sentence him to life at hard labor.
What! - But, Dad - We have to get you properly attired - sidekick.
- Oh.
[Darkwing.]
You always wanted high explosives for your birthday.
But I gave you dolls.
Now I know you have to be tough to face down crime.
Unauthorized pedestrians at corner of Miller and Barley, Oh, boy! Curfew violators.
Why didn't you look at your watch? I was into overtime playing whiffleball, I forgot about the time.
Well, we'd better hurry before [both scream.]
Don't you know that all law-abiding citizens are in bed by now? Yeah, we were just getting a glass of water, that's all.
- Of course.
- She saw me.
Sounds like Dad, though.
Well, I suppose I could let you off easy this time.
If you promise never to do it again.
- Oh, no, we'd never, ever.
- Never, I promise.
Ha! Trick question.
No one gets off easy in St.
Canard.
Take 'em away.
[Darkwing.]
Protecting St.
Canard is a tough job.
The old Darkwing Duck couldn't hack it.
That's when Darkwarrior Duck came to town.
So, how do you like your uniform? Um, I don't think this is gonna work out.
Of course it will! With you as my sidekick, the criminal vermin of the city won't dare twitch a whisker! We'll hunt them down, smash their plans.
And tear 'em limb from limb! Um, you know, you're not getting into the spirit of this, Gos.
Dad, I can't move.
OK, so it needs a little tailoring, so sue me.
[grunting.]
Dad, you're obsessing.
I mean, you were always a little amped on crime fighting, but now you don't talk about anything else.
You haven't even asked me why I haven't grown.
Well, I assumed it was the junk food.
It was Quakerjack and Megavolt's Time Top.
I accidentally hitched a ride to the future.
Megavolt and Quakerjack? Here?! That's great! Finally, a challenge! [cackles.]
I mean, sure it's important to continue my fight against tooth decay, and people that tear the little tags off pillows, they always get me, but, real live supervillains.
Launch a full scale search for Quakerjack and Mega Those suspects have all ready been incarcerated, sir, What? You caught them already? But I wanted to.
Shall we destroy their vehicle, sir? Yeah, fine, sure, whatever.
No! That's their time machine.
This solves everything.
They can take me back so it'll be like I never left.
Then you won't think I ran away and won't go nuts.
Launchpad won't be in jail and all of St.
Canard will go back the way it was.
Let's go! Come on, Dad.
Let me get this straight.
You want me to release two known criminals.
Give them an incredibly powerful vehicle and let them trash history, so that I, Darkwarrior Duck, will never even exist? [gulps, laughs nervously.]
I guess.
[scoffs.]
I don't think so.
[Darkwing.]
Just think of it.
A time machine, capable of taking me anywhere in history.
I can lock up criminals before they commit crimes.
Banks will be safe, drugstores will go unrobbed.
And no one will get away with not brushing after every meal.
But, wait.
Why stop there? I'll go back to ancient Babylon, where laws were first written down, Then, I can make sure they get off to a good start, For stealing an ox, the penalty is death.
Coveting wives, death.
Stealing grain, death.
Tracking mud through the kitchen, death.
Being cranky in the morning hmm death.
No, no, no, Even better, I'll go back to the beginning, When the first proto-duck was just considering taking his first breath of air, Hold it right there, pal.
Not another inch until we get a few rules straight.
I can't wait! Now, let's figure out how to get this baby cranking.
Pity the kid went bad.
We would've made a great team.
And I used to gripe when he sent me to my room.
What'd all these people do to get locked up? Ah, the usual stuff.
Traffic violators, lawyers, plumbers, rude supermarket clerks, cartoon producers.
- [Gos.]
Who's that? - [Launchpad.]
Mrs.
Mildew.
She flunked DW in penmanship.
Well, at least he has some sense of justice left.
Still, that doesn't excuse all this.
I say we bust outta here.
[all gasp.]
What's the matter? Chicken? [all clucking.]
It's safer in here then out there with Darkwarrior Duck.
Tell Mr.
Electral-face that I'm still not talking to him.
He's not speaking to you, Oh, yeah? Well, tell him I'm not the one who stopped the Time Top in a "No Parking" zone.
The Time Top, right! That's our ticket out of this mess.
OK, look, we all have to work together.
We can use the Time Top to fix things so this never happens.
Quackerjack, can't your toy teeth chew through these bars? Those nasty robots took all my toys when they drained Megavolt of his power.
Will these do? Boy, i gotta remember to start flossing when I get back.
Well, here goes.
[alarm rings.]
- What's that? - [all.]
Escape attempt, sir, Well, send out a squad of my robots.
I don't want to be bothered while I'm restructuring history in my own image.
[crash.]
Bring on that Darkwarrior Dunce now.
I'll charbroil him.
[Darkwing.]
Oh? Really? - [zapping.]
- Boy, can't that guy take a joke? [Gos.]
All right, just hold it.
This isn't you.
I think that inside you're still Darkwing Duck.
And you're still my dad.
[stammers.]
I'm not afraid of your old gas gun! Gas gun? I haven't used a gas gun in years.
[gulps.]
I should've recognized you as a bad egg from the start.
You never cleaned your room, helped with the dishes, did well in school.
If that isn't a list of criminal tendencies, I don't know what is.
There's no reason why I shouldn't blast you into a smudge.
Oh, but I I just can't do it.
Hey, no use taking chances.
I knew you couldn't do it, Dad.
I'd get going if I was you.
He may be smiling now, but he won't be when he wakes up.
Don't worry.
Once I get back to my own time, none of this will have ever happened.
Come on, come on, come on.
Are you sure it's a good idea to take them along? After all, they're hardened criminals.
Maybe they should stay locked up here.
[begging.]
If there's one thing this has taught me, it's that every person deserves the benefit of a doubt.
Besides, I don't know how to drive this thing.
[Darkwing.]
I don't know where you went, but, you'll be sorry you came back! Darkwarrior? Oh, perfect.
Gone five minutes and my own daughter forgets my name.
Just like she forgot she was supposed to stay in the Ratcatcher.
- Launchpad! - Don't change the subject.
I have had it with you, young lady.
You are grounded for a month! No problem, Dad.
That kind of justice I can handle.
Now don't argue with me, I # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck
But you know I work nights.
You should've been in bed hours ago.
And walk out on The Viper Zombies from Wormwood Creek movie marathon? Not in this universe.
Heck, I wouldn't miss the scene where the chainsawing cannibals beg for mercy from the slimy mutant slugs.
Uh, gee, this popcorn isn't half as tasty as it was a second ago.
Well, you're just lucky that it's been such a quiet night.
- [zapping.]
- Hang on! - Gee.
- Wow.
Whoa.
[Darkwing.]
Megavolt must've sucked half the city's power to charge that thing.
[gasps.]
And he's not alone.
It's that lunatic toymaker, Quakerjack.
Ah, no sweat.
Come on troops, let's cage those creeps.
Reality check.
We're the crime fighters, you are the obedient daughter who stays put and out of trouble.
Uh, just exactly what reality are we checking? Aw, Dad, do we really have to go through this again? I'm serious, Gos.
If something happened to you, I I don't know what I'd do.
OK, I promise I won't get involved.
[smooching.]
That's my girl.
Come on, LP, we've got cons to collar.
Right behind you, DW.
Course, I never promised I wouldn't watch.
OK, Quacky, the Time Top's all charged and ready to go bye bye.
Whee! Megs, do you realize what this means? All the wonders of the future will be ours.
Basal fusion yo-yos.
Ion spinning jump ropes.
Particle beam fuzzy bears.
And cool electric cars, micron solar cells, Zillion watt lightbulbs with lifetime guarantees.
[gasps.]
But traveling through time could put a hole in the space-time continuum, wreak havoc with history, inalterably change the past, present, and future forever! Actually, it sounds kind of fun.
They're getting away.
Where's Dad? Ah, gee, DW, maybe next time we could just use the door? And ruin a great entrance? [groaning.]
This oughta slow 'em down until Dad gets here.
[Darkwing.]
I am the terror that flaps in the night.
About time.
I am the batteries that are not included.
I am Darkwing Duck.
Oh, like we didn't know that.
Let me out.
I'll make him sizzle like spit on a griddle.
Ooh, aren't we sounding folksy.
Listen, Gomer, wouldn't frying be more fun with a [giggles.]
a plasma powered skillet from the future? Well, what are we waiting for? The future awaits! Ooh, hope this holds.
Approaching with stylish, yet careful caution, the midnight merryman maneuvers towards the manglers of justice.
Come on, Dad, speed it up.
Oh, no! Whoa! [Darkwing.]
Now, the Duck of Doom prepares to [Gosalyn.]
Dad, help me! Gosalyn? Oh, and I used to stand in line for rides like this.
Whoa! Was that an earthquake? Who cares? This is the future.
And it's play time! To the toy factory! Get real, chuckles.
We're staying right here so I can try out these new fusion generators.
Well, I say we put it to a vote.
All those in favor of the toy factory, say "Aye.
" Aye.
[high pitched voice.]
Aye.
- Nays? - Nay.
Well, looks like the ayes have it.
No fair.
He always sides with you.
Whoa.
Check it out.
Gee, they sure cleaned things up.
Not very friendly looking, though.
[screams.]
I tried to say I was sorry, but he wouldn't listen.
Oh, you gotta help me.
[gasps.]
Oh, no! It's too late.
Oh, sorry.
We make it a point never to get involved.
[gasps.]
[Darkwing.]
I am the terror that hunts in the night! Dad? I am the jackal that gnaws at your bones! I'm not finished, I am Darkwarrior Duck! Maybe a year in the pen will teach you to use a crosswalk jaywalker.
He does that to jaywalkers? And you thought your insurance premiums were high now? What would he do to real criminals? Let's not stick around to find out, scout.
Back to the Time Top.
Maybe Dad's just having a bad day.
A really bad day.
A stint in solitary ought to teach him some respect for traffic laws.
[stammers.]
But, what about my right to a trial? Are you saying a jury wouldn't take my word? Uh, no, sir.
Not at all, sir.
Subject with bad haircut reported at corner of Lankershim and Magnolia, So, another criminal coiffure endangering the sensibilities of decent citizens? And I bet he has dandruff, too.
Wait, Dad! It's me! [groans.]
[gasping.]
Oh, that duck's even crazier than we are.
Extreme parking violation, Darkwarrior civil code requires impounding vehicle and incarcerating guilty parties, He did it, he did it! I was only a passenger.
- He was driving.
- Nonsense.
I couldn't possibly drive.
I don't have a license.
They're both guilty.
But, I was taken against my will.
- [all yelling.]
- [Quakerjack.]
You blamed me.
[squabbling.]
Boy, Dad needs a major attitude adjustment, he sounds more like a bad guy than a good guy.
Huh? What? - Where did everything go? - [Launchpad humming.]
- Launchpad! - [clank.]
[Launchpad moans.]
- Gosalyn! - Oh! It sure is good to see a friendly face.
Ooh, DW always said junk food would stunt your growth, but, I thought you'd be a little taller.
Where you been all these years? I haven't been anywhere.
I got stuck on Quakerjack's Time Top and ended up here in the future.
Uh, this is the future? Well, not for you it isn't.
But for me, it is.
Now, what's going on around here? The city looks like it's just been washed and waxed.
Streets are deserted and Dad's acting like Nobrain the barbarian.
Boy, I slip away for a couple of decades and the whole town goes down the tubes.
And how come you're not with Darkwing? Uh, that's, uh, Darkwarrior, kiddo.
And, well, it see, I'm, uh I'm not his sidekick anymore.
Well, how come? What happened? Well, I guess you happened.
Or, um, didn't happen.
[Launchpad.]
DW thought you ran away because he wouldn't let you help him, [rumbling.]
I tried to get him interested in his work again, but,,, [sighs.]
,,,it was no use, Slice him and dice him.
He was all washed up, But, one day, everything turned around for him, [girl screams.]
Hiyah! He rediscovered his purpose, To protect St, Canard from the forces of evil, It was time to get tough, Really tough, [all growling.]
Yep, yep, yep.
[sighs.]
Ah, the city loved him, He scared every crook out of St, Canard, But, DW said the city was still in danger, [Darkwing.]
Cease and desist, citizen.
Eat that and your cholesterol level is shot.
You're inviting a heart attack, pal.
Now, get home and steam some veggies before I really get mad.
[Launchpad.]
He wasn't Darkwing Duck anymore, He was Darkwarrior Duck, He said I was too soft on crime.
Because I thought we should arrest crooks before giving them the electric chair.
Well, I'll straighten him out, just as soon as I talk to him.
So, how do I talk to him? Beats me.
Nobody but nobody, talks to Darkwarrior Duck.
Unless they break a law.
And I thought this was gonna be hard.
- See? Worked like a charm.
- [alarm blares.]
[moans.]
That's what I was afraid of.
How dare they deface my face.
[scoffs.]
There he goes, over-reacting again.
- [beeping.]
- I've got you, my little sitting ducks.
Eat missile, graffiti heads.
That'll teach those [gasps.]
G-G-Gosalyn? [sputters.]
[grunts.]
Gosh, this sort of hurts.
[grunts.]
[Darkwing.]
Gosalyn? In the flesh.
- Now what the heck is going on - My little angel is back! You don't know how much I've missed you.
How about a hug for your little sidekick? Oh, it's you.
What's the matter? Run out of criminals to sympathize with? Looks like a clear case of the three "D's.
" Defacement.
Destruction.
And disorderly conduct.
Looks like it's the chair for you, my ex-compadre.
- [stammers.]
- Will you chill a sec? - I was the one who did it.
- Nonsense.
You were an innocent subverted by the wiles of a criminal mastermind.
Dad, we're talking about Launchpad here.
[stammers.]
Oh, well, that's right.
[clears throat.]
Well, perhaps I can be lenient this time.
Boys! I'll just sentence him to life at hard labor.
What! - But, Dad - We have to get you properly attired - sidekick.
- Oh.
[Darkwing.]
You always wanted high explosives for your birthday.
But I gave you dolls.
Now I know you have to be tough to face down crime.
Unauthorized pedestrians at corner of Miller and Barley, Oh, boy! Curfew violators.
Why didn't you look at your watch? I was into overtime playing whiffleball, I forgot about the time.
Well, we'd better hurry before [both scream.]
Don't you know that all law-abiding citizens are in bed by now? Yeah, we were just getting a glass of water, that's all.
- Of course.
- She saw me.
Sounds like Dad, though.
Well, I suppose I could let you off easy this time.
If you promise never to do it again.
- Oh, no, we'd never, ever.
- Never, I promise.
Ha! Trick question.
No one gets off easy in St.
Canard.
Take 'em away.
[Darkwing.]
Protecting St.
Canard is a tough job.
The old Darkwing Duck couldn't hack it.
That's when Darkwarrior Duck came to town.
So, how do you like your uniform? Um, I don't think this is gonna work out.
Of course it will! With you as my sidekick, the criminal vermin of the city won't dare twitch a whisker! We'll hunt them down, smash their plans.
And tear 'em limb from limb! Um, you know, you're not getting into the spirit of this, Gos.
Dad, I can't move.
OK, so it needs a little tailoring, so sue me.
[grunting.]
Dad, you're obsessing.
I mean, you were always a little amped on crime fighting, but now you don't talk about anything else.
You haven't even asked me why I haven't grown.
Well, I assumed it was the junk food.
It was Quakerjack and Megavolt's Time Top.
I accidentally hitched a ride to the future.
Megavolt and Quakerjack? Here?! That's great! Finally, a challenge! [cackles.]
I mean, sure it's important to continue my fight against tooth decay, and people that tear the little tags off pillows, they always get me, but, real live supervillains.
Launch a full scale search for Quakerjack and Mega Those suspects have all ready been incarcerated, sir, What? You caught them already? But I wanted to.
Shall we destroy their vehicle, sir? Yeah, fine, sure, whatever.
No! That's their time machine.
This solves everything.
They can take me back so it'll be like I never left.
Then you won't think I ran away and won't go nuts.
Launchpad won't be in jail and all of St.
Canard will go back the way it was.
Let's go! Come on, Dad.
Let me get this straight.
You want me to release two known criminals.
Give them an incredibly powerful vehicle and let them trash history, so that I, Darkwarrior Duck, will never even exist? [gulps, laughs nervously.]
I guess.
[scoffs.]
I don't think so.
[Darkwing.]
Just think of it.
A time machine, capable of taking me anywhere in history.
I can lock up criminals before they commit crimes.
Banks will be safe, drugstores will go unrobbed.
And no one will get away with not brushing after every meal.
But, wait.
Why stop there? I'll go back to ancient Babylon, where laws were first written down, Then, I can make sure they get off to a good start, For stealing an ox, the penalty is death.
Coveting wives, death.
Stealing grain, death.
Tracking mud through the kitchen, death.
Being cranky in the morning hmm death.
No, no, no, Even better, I'll go back to the beginning, When the first proto-duck was just considering taking his first breath of air, Hold it right there, pal.
Not another inch until we get a few rules straight.
I can't wait! Now, let's figure out how to get this baby cranking.
Pity the kid went bad.
We would've made a great team.
And I used to gripe when he sent me to my room.
What'd all these people do to get locked up? Ah, the usual stuff.
Traffic violators, lawyers, plumbers, rude supermarket clerks, cartoon producers.
- [Gos.]
Who's that? - [Launchpad.]
Mrs.
Mildew.
She flunked DW in penmanship.
Well, at least he has some sense of justice left.
Still, that doesn't excuse all this.
I say we bust outta here.
[all gasp.]
What's the matter? Chicken? [all clucking.]
It's safer in here then out there with Darkwarrior Duck.
Tell Mr.
Electral-face that I'm still not talking to him.
He's not speaking to you, Oh, yeah? Well, tell him I'm not the one who stopped the Time Top in a "No Parking" zone.
The Time Top, right! That's our ticket out of this mess.
OK, look, we all have to work together.
We can use the Time Top to fix things so this never happens.
Quackerjack, can't your toy teeth chew through these bars? Those nasty robots took all my toys when they drained Megavolt of his power.
Will these do? Boy, i gotta remember to start flossing when I get back.
Well, here goes.
[alarm rings.]
- What's that? - [all.]
Escape attempt, sir, Well, send out a squad of my robots.
I don't want to be bothered while I'm restructuring history in my own image.
[crash.]
Bring on that Darkwarrior Dunce now.
I'll charbroil him.
[Darkwing.]
Oh? Really? - [zapping.]
- Boy, can't that guy take a joke? [Gos.]
All right, just hold it.
This isn't you.
I think that inside you're still Darkwing Duck.
And you're still my dad.
[stammers.]
I'm not afraid of your old gas gun! Gas gun? I haven't used a gas gun in years.
[gulps.]
I should've recognized you as a bad egg from the start.
You never cleaned your room, helped with the dishes, did well in school.
If that isn't a list of criminal tendencies, I don't know what is.
There's no reason why I shouldn't blast you into a smudge.
Oh, but I I just can't do it.
Hey, no use taking chances.
I knew you couldn't do it, Dad.
I'd get going if I was you.
He may be smiling now, but he won't be when he wakes up.
Don't worry.
Once I get back to my own time, none of this will have ever happened.
Come on, come on, come on.
Are you sure it's a good idea to take them along? After all, they're hardened criminals.
Maybe they should stay locked up here.
[begging.]
If there's one thing this has taught me, it's that every person deserves the benefit of a doubt.
Besides, I don't know how to drive this thing.
[Darkwing.]
I don't know where you went, but, you'll be sorry you came back! Darkwarrior? Oh, perfect.
Gone five minutes and my own daughter forgets my name.
Just like she forgot she was supposed to stay in the Ratcatcher.
- Launchpad! - Don't change the subject.
I have had it with you, young lady.
You are grounded for a month! No problem, Dad.
That kind of justice I can handle.
Now don't argue with me, I # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck # Darkwing Duck