Date My Dad (2017) s01e05 Episode Script

The Outfit

1 I'll be back in a couple hours, by 9:00 at the latest.
Are you sure you're okay? Dad, we're fine.
I'm 12! Kids babysit at 12.
Hello-o-o? You're not babysitting me.
I'm not a baby.
- Theoretically, I am.
- Are not! All right, I'm calling Bill and Jackie to cancel.
Clearly, you're not okay alone.
We're fine! Of course we are.
Sorry.
But you're not babysitting me.
Seriously? We're fine.
Siblings argue.
It's what we do.
You know, I'm happy to pitch in with whatever's happening over here.
Nope.
I'm buying a present for Abuela.
I'm getting her some fish.
To eat? No, to keep.
So she won't be lonely.
Abuela is not lonely.
Believe me.
Mirabel I'm just saying, plenty of fish in the sea.
20 bucks, from me.
Wait I just realized I need 10 for tonight.
There's 10.
I'm leaving.
Not like that, you aren't! Oh these are the moments I live for.
- Totes.
- Mirabel, go change.
What's wrong with what I'm wearing? Well, where should I start? I mean, first of all, unless you're going swimming, you need to be wearing more fabric.
Everywhere! You're not going swimming, are you? No, I'm not.
I'm going to the game.
Ah, okay, yeah, the plot thickens.
Liam is pitching, I assume? He assumes correctly.
- He does.
- Enough.
And all my friends dress like this.
Well, that's great for them.
You're not going out of the house like that.
Go change.
- No! - Excuse me? No.
I am not going to change.
I'm not a kid, Dad.
I can wear whatever I want.
Ooh No, Mirabel you can't.
You are 15 years old, and you are very much a kid, and this outfit is completely inappropriate! - End of story! - Not "end of story"! [tearing up, shouting.]
: You don't understand! It's not fair! If Mom were here, she'd understand! She'd let me wear what I want to wear! She'd defend me! You don't get it! You never will.
[sobs.]
You're not Mom.
[.]
[door slams.]
Aah, aah, aah Can I get a witness? Wow! I'm feelin' all right Just like I should should, should Best day of my life It feels so good good, good I'd bottle up this feeling if I could Oh yeah! You should have heard her.
It was It was terrifying.
I mean, she was screaming.
Actually screaming.
Oh, God.
You know, Mom used to scream, right? I hate screaming.
Do you remember the time that we borrowed Stole Mr.
Angel's car from down the block? Right? Oh-ho, man did Mom scream that day.
What? There's a lot going on for Mirabel right now.
I mean, she's in high school now, and all the pressures that go with that.
Her hormones are going nuts, and she doesn't have a mother.
She misses Isabella, and that's gonna come out in all sorts of ways.
No, but you guys don't understand.
She lost it.
Yeah, just like Mom.
[exhaling heavily.]
Poor Poor kid.
She's a teenage girl.
It's bound to happen.
Really? Again? Many times.
Teenage girls, they scream, slam doors, say "I hate you!" I know, I was one of them.
It's awful.
You need a Scotch.
Yeah.
[Sighing.]
I don't know, I mean, maybe she's right.
Maybe I need to chill out, stop being so Fatherly? I know.
It's my job, but, you know, she kept saying, "You don't understand!" and "You don't get it!" Maybe she's right! I don't know what it's like to be a 15-year-old girl without a mother.
And you never will, Rick! You're never gonna be her! But the point is, you're doing the best you can.
[sighing.]
Maybe I should let her grow up, you know get a little more independence.
Maybe she's not a kid anymore.
She is a kid, Ricky, but you called her a kid.
And teenagers, they don't want to be called a kid.
- Mm.
- That was better, right? Yeah, yeah.
That's right.
Most teenage girls can't wait to grow up and be taken seriously.
And Mirabel, she just wants to be a grown-up, and she wants you to treat her like one.
You remember what it was like Being the little brother, trying to hang out with me and my friends? Trying to get into the movies with us? Wondering when the heck you were actually gonna grow up? I do.
Absolutely.
And I'm still not talking to Andy Stern.
I mean, who wanted to go to his stupid Bar Mitzvah anyway? But Mirabel, she's the oldest.
Exactly.
And that's why she feels like you've demeaned her.
But I got to tell you.
Andy Stern's Bar Mitzvah off the charts! Was [trails off.]
a lot of fun.
Whatever, Bill.
I didn't mean to make her feel bad.
At all.
It was just You know, when I saw her in that outfit and I started thinking about boys seeing her in that Oh, no, I know exactly what you mean! I couldn't handle that for a minute! I mean, you know what? I go crazy even if I know someone's looking at my niece! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just want to grab them by Oh, my God! Guys, please! - What? - Hold on.
I lost it, too.
I don't want her wearing something like that, and that's my prerogative! I mean, I'm her parent, right? Oh, exactly! Oh, and boys? No, no, no.
Not even one.
No! Never.
Never, ever! Uncle Bill putting his foot down, right now! Of course, you are the parent, but there's ways to go about it.
Right? It's like telling somebody to calm down Never calms them down, right? Ah, I'm glad I have you guys and Rosa.
I can't do this alone.
You know, and sometimes, I just get so you know, mad at Isabella for dying, and leaving me alone.
[.]
What, uh what's happening over over here? Um Looks like "fancy" is happening here.
[background music playing, chatter.]
[.]
[waitress.]
: There's room at the counter, girls.
Thanks.
You went about it all wrong, Mirabel.
I change in the locker room once I get to school.
I leave the house looking as Amish as possible.
If I owned a bonnet, I'd wear it.
Yeah, but I don't want to lie to my dad, Julie.
[sighs.]
You guys should have heard him.
He lost it.
I know what that's like, but, Mira, it's not lying.
It's withholding.
Different! Oh [laughs.]
I wish my dad cared about what I was wearing.
I honestly don't even think he knows what I look like.
That sucks, Elaine.
Sorry.
My dad's great.
It's just he doesn't get it.
And you know, he's a guy.
I'm sorry, Mirabel.
It must be so hard.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm glad that we left when we did, because I could not take another inning.
So boring.
Totally.
We're here 'cause of you.
'Cause of Liam.
Whoo! [chuckling.]
[door bells jingling.]
There they are! I'm just going to go talk to the girls for a sec.
Hey.
Hey.
I was just telling Elaine and Julie how amazing the game was.
- Yeah.
- Really? 'Cause you left.
Um That's okay.
I would've left, too.
It sucked.
There's a woman coming here, isn't there? A woman coming for dinner for the widowed brother.
You're ambush-dating me! No, no, no.
It's It's not like that.
Oh! Oh, no.
But Billy, it looks like that.
Calm down.
Oh! [mock gasping.]
: Oh "calm down", is it? Well, I thought that didn't work.
Turns out, it doesn't.
I'm leaving.
And not at all calmly.
Okay, look.
Look, Rick.
I get it, I do.
You made it very clear that we were to butt out on your dating.
And yet, here we are with Mom's china and candles.
Imagine that! It's just we couldn't help ourselves.
Yeah.
She's incredibly cool, and this is going to be totally casual.
I won't even light the candles.
Really? You won't even light the candles? It just slipped out.
Sorry.
Look, this will be totally casual, bro.
I made rack of lamb with wine, Bordeaux, and chanterelle reduction, and red quinoa with almonds and shallots.
A light arugula salad with some shaved parm, and chocolate ganache for dessert.
No biggie.
Not helping.
Is that all? Is that all? Sounds like a real casual meal, with the Bordeaux wine reduction.
Okay, listen to me.
Lindsay is just Oh! Lindsay, is it? The ambush-date has a name.
"Lindsay.
" Okay, she happens to be smart and sexy.
She is also an orthopedic surgeon.
Yeah, she's done Tommy John-type surgeries, like you had on your elbow.
Many times.
What do you think about that? - Is that not cool? - Totally cool! [sighs.]
I don't want you to think that we arranged anything, or that we ambushed you.
Oh, oh, no, it doesn't look like that at all.
[Bill.]
: We just thought that it would be fun to have dinner together.
- Just dinner.
- If you guys dig each other, you dig each other, if not, not.
Right? Don't even think of it as a date.
Just think of it as a [takes a deep breath.]
A chance encounter.
A chance encounter? In your dining room? Dug deep for that one, hey, babe? - Kinda did.
- Yep.
- [doorbell chimes.]
- I'll get it.
Trust me.
- Really? - Trust me.
Pow! I don't think we should be in here.
Well, not in her closet, anyway.
She won't know.
She knows everything! [.]
Step away from the garments.
Oh, look! Teddy.
Don't touch anything! That's the key.
Look how hot all of these are.
Yes, I think "hot" was the inherent problem with Dad's thesis earlier this evening.
But they're all so pretty.
All my clothes are so boyish.
Look at that frilly thing! It's so girlie.
- I want to be girlie.
- No, you don't.
Now let's get out of here.
I kinda do.
You've got a different style.
Stick with it.
It works on you.
Style? I have no style.
See? No style.
A fashion desert.
And sports equipment.
That's nice.
It looks okay to me.
Corduroy pants? And not the narrow corduroys.
The thick, weird ones! Not good.
Most alarming Blue cupcake t-shirt, 12:00.
Yeah, that's bad.
We're gonna have a yard sale, sell all this old stuff, and I'm gonna chip in for Abuela's gift.
We're going for the whole aquarium! And then, I'm going shopping.
Oh "Ducky" jacket.
Oh, and it has a It has a beak, even.
- On its hood.
- Quack-quack.
Quack-quack.
But if I'm being honest, I admit, I want my girls to stay kids forever.
[chuckles.]
You sound like a very loving father.
No, it can be tough, this parenting thing.
You know what can be really tough? Pro-ball.
Tell her about it.
You know, when you first bring 'em home from the hospital, it's terrifying.
I mean, they're so small and helpless, and you're clueless and scared, and then, all of a sudden, one day, it just clicks.
[laughs.]
Just like that? It just clicks? I don't buy it.
No, it does.
It's wild.
I mean, what you feel for this kid in your arms? It's the most profound love you can imagine.
No, I-I really can't.
I just I don't think, unless you have kids, that you get it.
I think you're right, Lindsay.
I love my nieces, but as a woman without kids I know what you mean.
Would anyone like any cheese? Olive tapenade? To talk about anything but this? No, and when they're little kids, you get this truly unconditional love from them.
They're like puppies, but better.
I mean, no, you can do no wrong.
They're mushy and sweet and they smell good, and one day, it's it's not about you.
That's the thing.
It's never gonna be about you again, and you know what? It's the best feeling ever! You become selfless when you're a parent.
If If you're a good parent.
Agreed.
Yeah, you know, I know a woman who tried to sell her kids on eBay.
Okay, that didn't go over really well, but, talking about long shots, have you seen this man throw a ball? [Bill chuckles, forced.]
Let's switch gears here.
How about dinner? Jacquelyn, would you join me in the kitchen for just a moment? I would love to, William! [Chuckles.]
[Bill sighs.]
- You have issues! - He's talking about his kids! About parenting and "profound love"! Yuck.
So not sexy.
They're having an adult conversation.
Why does it have to be sexy? It just doesn't feel like a first date.
'Cause it's really not! And we're here, and Ricky just had a fight with Mirabel, and what do you know about first dates anyway? You haven't had a first date in 15 years! And what is so "yuck" about profound love? I don't know.
I just I don't see sparks.
[irate groaning.]
Oh, my God! You make so mad right now! You don't see sparks, you feel them And not in other people! Get the lamb.
You're annoying me.
[slams glass down.]
[Jackie laughs, forced.]
He's so funny.
I love my husband.
What about these overalls? Overalls? What am I, a farmer? What was I thinking? I'm getting rid of everything.
No way.
Yep, you own this bunny bad-boy.
I should be arrested.
It just keeps getting worse.
I think I need to seek professional help.
Often, doing something cathartic like this is freeing in a way.
Once you dissect the elements of something that is bothering you, whether it be a trauma, or a pair of hideous plaid shorts, you're able to move on from this crisis point and start anew.
Wow.
Just wow.
You rock, Gigi.
You rock some weird stuff for a eight-year-old to spew, but you rock.
[door opens.]
[Rosa, calling.]
: Elisa? Gigi? Oh, no, Abuela.
Act casual, say nothing.
She's too smart for that! Okay then just don't mention the fish.
Coming! I brought tamales! [chuckles.]
[sighs.]
So, I know you two are here alone, which I don't love, but I am trying to let your father parent without me, which I also don't love.
Have you had dinner yet? Elisa made chicken, but we haven't had it yet.
We've been going through my closet.
I hate all my clothes, Abuela.
I want to change my look.
Well, it's about time.
I-I mean that, when you get older, you pay more attention to how you look.
For boys? Ah! Boys are an afterthought.
You get dressed to feel good about yourself.
I'm selling my old clothes.
Gigi and I are going to have a garage sale.
Oh! That's great! I love garage sales! And I have so much stuff to get rid of.
That's okay.
It's just gonna be me and Gigi, by ourselves.
We want to do it alone.
But I have so much to donate.
I'll tell you what Sell the stuff and keep the money.
It's kind of our thing.
So you don't want my help? Next time, maybe.
Hmm.
I move out, a few months later, I don't exist.
- Hey.
- Hey! Join us.
How was the game? Mirabel? I'm going to bed.
She and Dad had a fight.
A big one.
He told her to change what she was wearing, because it wasn't a lot of clothing at all.
Like, almost none.
Her stomach was showing.
Oh, boy And then he called her a kid and she yelled that he wasn't Mom, and then she slammed the door.
Okay Eat your tamales.
I'm on it.
[Rosa.]
: Mirabel? She so deserves fish.
She's the best.
- Hmm - Ohw Yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah, no grip.
- Grip? Like that? - Yeah.
And pulse it.
- I'm pulsing, I'm pulsing, I'm pulsing.
- Oh, that's no, that's good.
And side to side a little bit, like a Oh! Did you feel that? I do! I mean Ahem.
Dessert time.
Oh, you were right, Bill, she is cool.
I was right? [Laughs.]
I was right! Would you mind saying that again, little brother, so I can get that recorded? Put the phone down, Bill.
You were right.
I got it.
No recording necessary.
Mirabel? - Hi.
- Hi.
Can we talk? I'm not up for it, Abuela.
Here Let me.
Dad and I had a fight.
So I heard.
I'm so sorry.
But no father wants to see his daughter start to look like a woman.
Why? Because he was once a boy.
I'm genuinely concerned about Liam, if you and he start to get serious oh.
Your father can wield a bat! Whomp! [both laughing.]
Oh, dear! He was just so "Dad" about the whole thing.
My outfit was so cute.
Oh, I'm sure it was, but he is your father.
And you're in such an exciting time in your life, Mirabel.
You gotta have fun with it.
[chuckles.]
I remember those days.
You do? Mm-hmm.
I also remember feeling a little sad.
That I could feel myself changing.
You're You're saying goodbye to that "little girl" side of yourself.
- [quietly.]
: Yeah.
- Yeah.
I really got mad at Papi.
I yelled.
Well, sometimes, yelling is better than being quiet.
Never keep something inside that you really need to get out.
I love you, Abuela.
Oh.
Love you, too.
Everything's gonna be all right, pumpkin.
You'll see.
The truncated range of motion in Ricky's arm clearly illustrates olecranon injury and tendon scarring.
That's a career-ender for sure.
She's good.
But I'm guessing it's not just baseball-type overuse and rotational stress.
There's an impact injury there, right? There's bone fracture and repair.
Am I right? Yeah.
[Laughs.]
Mirabel was only one.
I was, uh, going to put her down for her nap.
[.]
[whispers.]
: She's asleep.
Can you put her in the crib? I'll be right over there.
[crack.]
Ahh! [Mirabel bawling.]
Oh! Honey, honey, honey.
She's okay.
She's okay.
Oh, little thing.
You okay? Honey? I'm all right.
- Hey - You okay? Uh the elbow was wrecked.
I never got it back.
But Mirabel was okay.
And that's that's all that mattered.
Mirabel? [.]
Mirabel? [.]
I love you.
[sobs quietly.]
Come on, Daddy.
Please! It's snowing! But it's my Christmas present.
[resigned sigh.]
Okay.
You win.
Here we go! Don't let go, Dad! You're doing it! [.]
I did it! Mom, Dad, I did it! Way to go, honey.
All by yourself! You're a big girl now.
[.]
Goodnight.
Should I be concerned about being fashion-senseless? [laughs.]
Elisa, you are not fashion-senseless.
You have a confidence that transcends clothes, but, if you like, Rosa can take you shopping for some new stuff.
Until then, if you see me leaving the house in anything corduroy, you have to stop me.
I promise.
Love you, Dad.
I love you, too.
We looked online and we can get an aquarium with fish for $65.
Does Rosa want a fish and an aquarium? Who wouldn't want fish and an aquarium? Duh.
Daddy? I like being a kid.
Are you trying to melt my heart, Gigi? Because you're doing a good job.
[sighing.]
[clap-clap.]
Ooh I didn't sleep a wink last night.
You look great regardless.
It's my thing.
It's what I do.
I had a thing with, uh, Mirabel.
I know all about it.
- I spoke to her.
- I-Is she okay? It was pretty bad.
I'm making her favorite breakfast to make up for it.
She is growing up, and you have got to let her.
[sighing.]
It felt good talking to her.
- She needs you.
- And I need her.
The other two could care less.
What are you talking about? They live for you! They used to, but not anymore.
I never should have moved out.
Do I get an "I told you so?" Or do I just have to commiserate in silence? It's like I'm invisible.
Wait.
W-What are you basing this on? They're having a garage sale without me.
They weren't very nice about it.
[snickering.]
This isn't funny! I offered to help them, and they said no, they would like to do it alone.
Their eyes were very cold.
I'm sure there were no cold eyes, Rosa.
They want to do the garage sale by themselves because they Hi, Daddy.
Hi, Abuela.
Did everybody sleep okay? It's important to get at least seven hours.
Eight is preferred.
- Hey there, sunshine.
- Hello.
I had a dream last night all my clothes were plaid.
Shirt, socks, shorts, shoes Everything! People screamed when they looked at me.
Wow, Daddy, this looks amazing.
I made Mirabel's favorite.
She's not here.
What are you talking about? She left early this morning to meet Elaine and Julie.
They're going shopping.
[Rosa.]
: Okay.
Kids, Ricky, let's eat.
- [sighs darkly.]
- Okay? She's fine.
She's shopping.
It calms her down.
It's true.
Different activities help different people relax.
Shopping can be a Zen-like experience for someone like Mirabel.
She finds comfort in the routine and diversion in the act itself.
That's a lot for a Saturday morning, hija.
Oh I'm gonna text her and tell her to meet me at the gym.
Don't be disappointed if she refuses.
I'll bribe her.
I'm not proud.
Ahem.
- Hi - Hi.
- Alan.
- Yes? Uh, we spoke on the phone.
Lindsay.
Oh, Lindsay! L Oh, this morning.
Yes.
And then again, right, okay.
Uh - Uh, for Ricky.
- Mm-hmm.
He's just in his office and I'll let him know you're here.
You got really nice eyes.
Oh, no.
There's the hole.
Oh.
You know, I remember ninth grade.
I used to dress it up pretty good.
"If you got it, flaunt it" kind of thing.
In retrospect, not my best year.
Here.
I'll show you.
Oh.
Whoa! Whoa.
Yup.
Not your best moment.
Why is there a brick next to your ear? Well, that was a giant cell phone.
Ah, I remember those.
Ricky, hey.
Ricky! Uh, someone by the name of Lindsay called for you this morning.
Oh! The orthopedic surgeon.
Nice! She must like you.
I don't know what she does for a living, but she called twice.
I don't like the sound of that.
That's weird.
I attract weird.
- You do.
- Ooh! A surgeon groupie? I wonder, is that a surgeon who likes groupies? Or a groupie who likes surgeons? 'Cause, the way I see it, the "groupie" thing takes precedence.
Kinda freaky, but then, she does have all that schooling, so maybe we go with "Dr.
Stalker Surgeon Groupie.
" I like the sound of that! "Dr.
Stalker Surgeon Groupie.
" What's the message, Alan? Oh, yeah.
The message.
She's out front.
She seemed so normal.
Don't they all? Oh, go, your Dr.
Surgeon Stalker Groupie awaits.
Whew.
Hey, Steph.
Ahem.
- You know what I was thinking? - I couldn't possibly.
I was thinking that I'm gonna start a new boxing-cardio class.
Well, uh, you can talk to Ricky about it.
I'd be happy to see your presentation.
Okay, um, well, you come in, you start with a little knees - And then just - No! Alan! Alan - Ba-bap! Ba-bap! - I didn't mean now.
- Not now.
- Not now? You know what? Maybe I don't see your presentation.
Okay, well, maybe just knees "Hey, guys, how're you doing?" Let's warm it up Airplane arms.
I don't think that warms it up.
No? I felt compelled to see you.
And bring you this.
Oh, wow.
Compelled after one date.
I-I'm flattered.
Uh, look, I know that you're friends with Jackie I want to have kids.
Oh wow.
Oh.
Not with you.
- Uh, - um ehm I was just alarmed, then insulted.
[laughing.]
I'm sorry.
Let's go back.
I am a little giddy here.
And clearly, coming off like some crazy-surgeon-stalker lady.
Exactly.
I was just telling my staff that I was scared.
I wanted to thank you in person.
Listening to you talk about your daughters last night, it made me think.
[sighs.]
I never wanted kids.
I always thought I was gonna have to choose between career or kids.
Honestly, Ricky, hearing you go on about that profound feeling I want that, and it's missing in my life, and now I know it.
- I did that? - Mm-hmm.
Wow, I'm good.
- Real good.
- Yes, you are.
10 months ago, I broke up with this guy I'd been seeing for five years, and, um we split because I didn't want to have kids and he did.
I called him last night Ooh Ooh, tell me more.
I love a good soap.
H-He's gone out with a few women, but no one serious, so we're seeing each other tonight.
So no second date for me? [laughs.]
Mm I will let you know what goes on.
Thank you, Ricky.
You're a good guy.
Oh, now I'm kinda sad that you're not surgeon-stalker-crazy-lady.
[laughs.]
Bye.
Bye.
I got some stuff for you guys.
You're selling Teddy? Yeah.
It's old and useless.
Only got one eye.
How much should we charge? It's up to you.
Here.
Take this.
It's a Roomba.
I don't like it buzzing around.
I can do my own vacuuming.
Sorry, Abuela.
This garage sale just has to be our stuff.
So we can say we raised the money.
For whatever we might buy with our money.
Okay, I can see I'm not wanted here.
If you don't want Roomba, you don't get Roomba.
We can't buy her present with her money.
Exactly.
That would be like her buying it.
Oh, poor Teddy.
Mirabel's gonna miss him.
I already know it.
And this is It's just I've worked for this really hard, I've put a lot of effort into this.
Hey! What are you still doing here? Go and enjoy your weekend.
I got this.
Oh, correction, young Stephanie We got this.
What are you still doing here, boss? Like the lady said, we got this.
'Kay? Everything's a-okay.
We're rockin' and rollin'! Steph and me, 'kay? Steph and moi.
Steph and me! We got this.
Tap that! Okay, first - What? - It's not "Steph.
" It's Stephanie.
And second, he's right.
Go home.
We're fine.
I'm waiting for Mirabel.
She's meeting me here.
She's not coming.
Did she call you? Well, Snapchat.
As of 10 minutes ago, she was getting rid of this teddy bear with one eye.
Sad.
Really sad-looking item.
That man is overbooked.
You ever notice that? When does he even sit down? He's just constantly going and moving.
Look at this! Bye! Moving and flipping around the thing.
- You know, it's people like - Get back to work.
Yeah, okay, sure.
Oh! Man, it looks like it's going great! Where's Mirabel? Okay.
Can we talk? So, um rumor has it you're selling Teddy on Snapchat.
I'm selling Teddy, but not on Snapchat.
I posted a video of him on Snapchat.
Oh.
Yeah, I just figured out Instagram, so you have to be patient with me.
Mirabel I love you.
I know.
And we're gonna have some tricky times ahead.
We've been through the worst thing imaginable, and we're here and we love one another.
And we're gonna get through whatever horror your teenage years throw at us.
[sobs.]
I miss her so much, Daddy.
I know.
It's not fair.
No.
[crying.]
Who's gonna take me shopping for my wedding dress? Oh.
I will.
And Rosa will.
And your sisters will.
We will take you shopping for your wedding dress.
And I will walk you down that aisle, and your beautiful mother will be missed at every moment of that day, and every other day.
[sobs quietly.]
It's not fair, but It's the way it is.
And you, and your sisters, you got ripped off, you got you got robbed.
And it sucks.
There's no dancing around that.
It sucks.
[sniffles.]
I love you, Papi.
I'm sorry I yelled.
Oh, please.
It's fine.
I was more shocked than anything.
And you're kinda scary.
[laughs.]
Ohh.
Hey, I just I wanna, um interject one thing, and then we never have to discuss it, hopefully, for a really, really really long time.
Um Your wedding dress w-will contain a large amount of fabric, okay? Like, covering all body parts.
I'll go full-Amish, Papi.
Oh, my gosh! I-I would love that! Full-Amish, it is.
I'm holding you to it.
Come here.
Mm.
I love you.
I love you so much.
[sniffles.]
What do you say we go help your sisters make some money? [quiet alarm.]
: Teddy! Teddy! Teddy.
Whoa! I don't think so, Buddy.
Here.
Take, uh, Sheldon.
Go on.
He's on me.
[.]
Oh, so you don't knock? You have never knocked in your life.
I called, I texted, I emailed, I may have even sent a fax, and nothing, no response.
I thought you were dead! I might as well be.
Oh, okay, easy with the drama, Rosa.
My youngest granddaughters don't love me! You need to chill, woman, and are you having a dinner party? [sighs.]
I cook when I'm sad.
You know this! W-Whatever you're cooking, you need to stop, turn it off, and come with me.
But where? Oh, God! Honestly! Honestly, between Mirabel and the Kardashian look, and Teddy almost selling, and Bill and Jackie and the ambush-dating, and potential surgeon-stalker drama, and now you with this woe-is-me thing happening? I'm exhausted! I need a drink.
Me too.
Mm.
[sighs.]
Thank you.
[sighs deeply.]
[clink.]
Mm.
Ohh.
That's nice.
Now, what were you saying? I'm saying, I'm leaving, and you're coming with me.
Where are we going? Into the living room.
[overlapping protesting and beckoning.]
- All right, all right.
- Come on.
Move that tushie, move that tushie.
Come on.
I know you can move faster than that, Rosa.
Let's go.
We're almost there.
- Here we are.
- [girls.]
: Surprise! Oh, ho! Oh, my! What have you done? This is beautiful.
Do you like it? We got you four fish because there's three of us and one of you.
Well, what about me? There's one of me.
I just love it.
You did this for me? That's why you couldn't help us with the garage sale.
We wanted to do it on our own.
See? What'd I tell you? Hmm? Of course.
I love this so much.
I never had fish! We didn't want you to be lonely.
Abuela's not lonely.
Now that you're a teenager, you need to learn some decorum.
- What's that? - Like I said.
Gigi, I need you to explain everything.
I need to know what to feed them, and when.
- I'll make you a chart.
- Okay.
Or I can do a PowerPoint presentation.
Uh, a chart'll do.
And, Elisa, can you help me name them? I don't know what to call them.
Mm.
Why don't you name one of them Ricky? Ricky's a good name.
Ricky keeps the family together.
Ricky pays for stuff.
Not about you, Dad.
Whatever.
So why don't we eat, and we'll figure out what to name the fish? Good.
I'm starving.
- What are we having? - Fish! Uh Sorry.
I think she should totally name one Ricky.
[.]
I love you, Dad.
I love you more.
That one, right there.
He's kinda macho! He could be Rick.
Yeah.
Rick.
Ricardo.
[.]

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