Dawn of the Croods (2015) Episode Scripts

Scare Tactics; DisturbiAHHH!

1 Bom-bom, bom-ba-dum Ma-ma-ma-bom-ba-dum Ba-da-dum [music playing] - Boo! - Amber also boo! Wish there was another way to say it, but boo! Okay, guys, try to understand.
I only wanna add more defenses so I can keep you all safe from the Broods.
But we don't like the defenses you've already added.
I'm always falling into those traps you And Amber hate alarm Grug put up.
It keep going off for no reason.
Alert! Broods approaching! Alert! Broods approaching! Wait, it's just a log.
Log approaching! Alert! Log approaching! I, for one, am sick of having to use your buddy system.
[panting] I'm also pretty upset that no one else would be my buddy.
We no need defenses, Grug.
Broods no attack in long time.
- I concur.
- Hear, hear.
Look, the Broods are clearly up to something.
They've been sneaking in at night and leaving those weird symbols.
- Those could be anyone's symbols.
- Down with Grug's defenses! [grunts] No, wait! [all grunting] [yells] Alert! Ground approaching! [screams] I need to convince them the Broods are a threat so they will put the defenses back up.
But how? I know! With a plan! But what plan? I need my stress rock.
[growls] Too much stress! Oh, boo-hoo, Grug.
We've got real problems over here! [snarls] Sandy won't let us change her diaper, and it is a stage-three stinker.
[buzzing] [laughs] Enough negotiating! Thunk, let's use a scare tactic.
All right.
You win, Sandy.
You can keep your diaper, but what if you get visited by the diaper monster? You know, that vicious winged bear owl that attacks little girls with poopy pants! [squeals] Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell a [sniffs] a dirty bum.
[roars] [yells] Attagirl! That'll stop him.
[babbles] Wow! She did exactly what you wanted.
And I told the kids never to do what you say.
What's your secret? Scare tactics? Just some old schemes of mine.
They're great for tricking babies who don't know what's good for 'em.
Really? [Yelp] And now it's time for the Ahhh! Valley News.
Today's top story, the Broods attacks are at an all-time low, making us feel nice and safe.
But are we really? Here with his take on the story, this awkward child.
Thanks, Yelp.
This thing working? [puffs] Much better.
Yes, the Broods have been quiet, but what if they're just biding time to do something really awful, like invent extra-deadly weapons? [all gasp] - What an unsettling thought.
- Or worse.
What if they had magic beans that give them the power to take any form they please? Ah! They could be those fruits! [gasps] [grunts] [sobs] Or that rock.
Or that rock.
- [yelps] - [thumps] - [screams] We're all gonna die! - You got that right.
And you first.
Unless we build up our defenses like our handsome leader Grug wanted.
Quick, dig more traps.
[all grunting] Four down, the rest of the valley to go.
Got any other scare tactics? [all yelp] Hey, don't mind me.
I'm just reminding everybody what the Broods look like.
You know, in case they sneak into town again.
Amber no remember Broods that big.
Buck up, Amber.
They don't look so scary to me [yelps] [screams] [whimpering] Want use buddy system and stand back-to-back for rest of life?! [chuckles] Okay, class, it's time to recite the pledge thingy I made for the valley.
We pledge our lives to Ahhh! Valley and to protect it from the Broods.
[class] We pledge our lives to Ahhh! Valley and to protect it from the Broods.
Knowing that if we fail, they will tear us limb from limb.
[class] Knowing that if we fail, they will tear us limb from limb.
[Grug] And tickle us endlessly.
[class] And tickle us endlessly.
[Grug] Force us to clean the ground with our tongues.
[class] Force us to clean the ground with our tongues.
[Grug] Cause hideous tails to spring from our bodies.
[class] Cause hideous tails to spring from our bodies.
And make us give hard kicks to our own butts, over and over, for all time.
Great! Now, on to part two.
The Broods shoot venom from their fangs.
[all] The Broods shoot venom from their fangs.
- Grow horns out of their heads.
- [all] Grow horns out of their heads.
You think you know the enemy, and then they go and insult you.
I mean, horns on our heads? That was just Blurg's acne.
Mother, please! And sure, Frump has fangs, but they're belly button fangs, not mouth fangs.
Why does my belly button have teeth? [snaps] Something's terribly wrong with you.
But that's no reason for Grug to spread lies, is it? [growls] This calls for revenge, doesn't it? Frump, stop drawing those weird symbols.
They'll know it was us.
[whimpers] Aw-ww! [woman] You gotta do something, Gruggy.
- [man] What are you gonna do? - [woman] We need defenses! Please! Grug, Amber and not-Ambers change mind.
Broods big threat after all.
[whines] Please protect us, like the sniveling chickuna we are.
Uh, gee, guys, I don't know.
- [man] Oh, please - [Amber] No Wow, Dad.
All these scare tactics really turned things around, huh? Yep.
We'll all be safe now, thanks to wonderful fear.
[chuckles] Just gonna let them panic a bit longer to be sure.
Still deciding! [group moaning] [stomach growls] Fee-fi-fo-fiper, don't you dare soil that diaper, or it'll be the last thing you ever doo-doo.
[squeals] [babbles] Okay, fine.
I will protect you.
- We will double the valley's defenses.
- Only double? Why not triple? Uh.
Well, I don't think we need to go that far.
- Hey, you some sort of Brood spy? - What? No! Huh! That exactly what Brood spy say! Whoa, whoa! Easy, guys.
Let's not point fingers at each other now.
But the Broods can change form.
They could be any one of us, right, brother? Indeed.
Even you, brother.
[both] Not a step closer, brother.
You're no brother of mine, brother.
[all yelling] - They've lost their minds.
- That's scare tactics for ya.
Fear's good for trickin' people to take action, but it gets outta hand real fast.
Surprised I didn't bother to mention that.
Hah! [moans] Guys, come on.
Pull it together.
None of you are the Broods.
That's right.
We are! You're gonna get it for truthfully saying I have fangs.
Yep, and for mentioning Blurg's pimple problem.
Mom! Hate to disappoint you, Broods, but you're sorta way outnumbered, so Let 'em have it, guys! - [man] Please.
We're no match for you.
- [man 2] Don't spit your venom at us.
Please don't use weird mind powers to make us cut off our luscious body hair.
Oop, it's just a fear of mine, I guess.
- No, guys, don't be afraid.
Get up! - That's right, sillies.
You don't have to be afraid of us if you destroy them.
[all yelling] Oh, wow.
Huh.
Twist.
Croods, family cowardice formation! [yelling continues] [gasps] [yelling continues] Ow! I'm done tricking people to do things.
Ow, ow! A good leader shouldn't use scare tactics.
He should ow! He should ow! He should ugh use brave tactics.
[yelling continues] Wait, wait! Before you do us in, cave ladies and gentle cavemen, join me for the new Ahhh! Valley pledge thingy.
Ahem.
We pledge our lives to Ahhh! Valley, and to protect it from the Broods, knowing that if we fail, we will have the courage to try again.
'Cause no matter how scary our enemy is, we're strong enough to stand up to 'em.
Like Amber.
She's so strong, she caught a mosquitoad with her bare hands once, remember? [onlookers] Ooh! And Baitsy.
One time, he survived being eaten by three predators.
And I've seen Bud lift one-third his own weight.
[grunts] [clapping] - Ooh! Do me! - Look, I'm not gonna do everyone.
I can't even remember all your names right now.
The point is, we all want to defend our home.
One valley, under sky, that's got a nice watering hole, and more reasons for all! [all cheering] For Ahhh! Valley! [cheering stops] You win this time, but we'll always come back, just like Blurg's acne problem.
[squeals] Mom! Fee-fi-fo-fuffer, now it's time for you to suff Wait, what are you doing? [grunting] Wait.
Don't burst the dam all at once.
[grunts] [gurgling] [screams] [gasps] It's too much.
[grunts] Fee-fi-fo, I'm out.
[man] Yeah! All right! Hey, now that the town knows the Broods are still a threat, you'll get all the defenses you want, Dad.
Yeah, but you know what, son? [yelps] Get off! Anyway, I was saying, I think bravery is the best defense of all.
Oh, really? Well, you're gonna need a lot of it, 'cause you're on diaper duty! [Grug gasps] [rumbling] [all yell] [music playing] And watch, and watch.
And watch.
[yawning] - [moans] - [snores] And that's how you watch mud dry.
- Now who's ready to try ramu wrangling? - [shrieks] I am so ready! Bring on the thing that can trample me! Then let's get ready to wrangle! But first, more from me.
Agh! Let's get to the wrangling already.
[grunts] Or not.
I'll listen to him all day if it means avoiding that guy.
[gasps] Now, the ramu's nose is very sensitive.
It can even smell fear, which I assume smells delicious.
Fortunately, the scent of some of these berries will relax the otherwise irritable beast.
Got it.
Berries good.
Let's do this! Nighty-night, pea brain! - [ramu screeches] - You're getting very relaxed.
- [screeching] - Why isn't he relaxing? Because I was referring to the green berries.
The red ones just make him enraged.
[yells] Let this be two lessons, students.
Never steal my spotlight and never jump to conclusions.
Instead, think before you act.
[sniffs] See? Calm ramu.
Ugh! [sniffs] [shrieks] Angry ramu.
[yells] [moans] Now, stay put.
One wrong move and your foot could fall right off.
And if it does, we are not getting you another one, young lady.
You get two feet in this family and that is it.
Okay, bye, sweetie.
What am I supposed to do all day? A girl could die from boredom, too.
Don't worry, Eep.
Mom and Dad said I could stay home with you today because I'm not really learning much in school anyway.
[chuckles] Now, how about a shadow puppet show? This one's called Croods In Space! Let's see what tiny spaces the Croods crawl into this time.
[groans] [Thunk] The first log was too big.
The second one was too small.
The third was just right for Thunk to get stuck.
I'm stuck! This is not part of the act! Help! [Amber] Secret in Snoot cave better be good.
Amber got huntin' to do.
Trust me.
You will die when you see this.
[chuckles] [grunts] Ah! [grunts] [Amber screams] [gasps] - That doesn't sound fun! - Eep, you're missing my story.
[Eep grunts] But I think it was murder.
Or kidnapping.
Or Okay, okay.
I don't know exactly what happened, but Amber screamed, so it must be bad.
We need to rescue her from Snoot! Huh.
Amber wasn't at the hunt today.
But kidnapped? By Snoot? [laughs] Sorry, it's just, kidnapped by [laughs] Eep, Amber is the toughest cave person we know, and Snoot is well, he once fainted at the sight of a hangnail.
I don't think you've thought this through.
No, you've gotta listen to me.
Who knows what he's been up to? Like, what if - [slaps] - [Amber groans] Now that you're my captive, I'm going to force-feed you rotten eggs because I'm evil.
[cackles] [moans] Oh, I don't buy it.
Who doesn't enjoy eating rotten eggs? [belches] Listen, Eep, I know it's hard sitting at home all day, but that is no reason to make up stories.
And if you're gonna make 'em up, pick someone more interesting than Snoot.
[Croods yawn] - Even his name puts me to sleep.
- Fine.
I'll get proof.
[sighs] [grunts] [grunting] [groaning] [yawns] [moans] Stay open, eyes! Don't make me ask Gran to show us what's under her wrinkles again.
Hah.
That's what I thought.
[snores] Thank you for coming in the middle of the night without telling anyone.
Now, enter into the cave of Snoot! - [Snoot's voice echoes] - [Eep yelps] Snoot? Did I miss it? I warned you, eyes! Now, you're definitely gonna look at Gran?! - Gran Crood? I didn't invite you.
- No one ever does.
That's why I invented party crashing, and I'm not afraid to use my crashing rock! [wails] Now, no need to crash.
The more, the merrier.
[snickers] [voices screaming within] [gasps] Not Gran! No time to wake the family.
I've got one good foot.
I'll save them myself.
[grunts] [screams] Make that no good feet.
But I've still got arms.
Yeah, so I will blindly charge forward.
[screams] Ow! Oh, come on.
We still got a chin.
Just hang on Gran.
I'm on my way.
[slithering] Or not.
[Eep] Mom, Dad, listen to me.
Snoot captured more people last night, including Gran.
Huh.
I guess she is gone.
- Nice.
- [thumps] Honey, you are jumping to conclusions again.
Gran's like a teenager.
She's always sneaking out at night, she never wants to be seen in public with me, and she has a lot of backne.
Ugh! No.
Snoot's got her in his cave, doing who knows what.
Gah! What have you done? You're right.
I've made a horrible mistake.
This one's crooked.
[laughs] [gasping] [screams] Please! We gotta do something! Fine.
We'll go see what Snoot's up to once you stop choking us.
And just to be clear, no one would choose to look at Gran's face every day, on a wall or otherwise.
Please don't be wall heads.
Mom says everything is okay.
[gasps] Oh, no.
Snoot's coming.
- Come look at what's in my cave.
- Sure, that doesn't sound threatening.
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no! Do not go in the cave! [voices screaming within] Why are they screaming, Eep? Why? You were right.
Now you got me thinking about the horrible things Snoot might be doing, like Tickle torture! [Croods laughing] What? No.
It's probably way worse.
- You don't mean? - Extreme tickle torture! [laughing] [whimpering] There's only one thing to do.
We must stop Snoot, but I can't, due to my foot.
And you can't, due to other reasons, and Snoot has Mom and Dad and Gran and Amber.
So we need something strong to stop him.
Something like, um [gasps] a battering ramu.
Uh, isn't there a safer idea? Probably, but there's no time to think.
Only time to smash.
- [vine cracks] - [Thunk yells] - [Thunk] This is not Thunk work.
- We're almost there.
I'll keep the ramu and green berries here while you go smash the red berries on Snoot.
Then, whammo! I mean, rammo! [man screaming] [both gasp] [Thunk sighs] Run, Thunk! Run like the wind! [panting] Or at least like a light breeze.
[panting] [smashes] [sniffs] Hurry! It's starting to catch the foul scent! Well, I did roll on an extra layer of mold today.
Thanks for noticing.
Gran? But Snoot put your head on a wall.
What? No.
Oh, I ain't nobody's trophy.
Snoot just invited me to the cool new space under his cave.
He calls it a "wreck room," 'cause it wrecks your ability to do anything else.
Half the valley's down there.
Oh.
So nobody was kidnapped into a cave of horrors? Kidnapped? By Snoot? [laughs] What were you thinking? I wasn't thinking.
[gasps] Thunk, stop! Hmm? Uh-oh! - [gasps] - [gasps] [sniffs] [shrieks] [snaps] [screeches] [Thunk screams] - [Thunk yelps] - [ramu shrieks] [screams] Thunk, hold on! I'll calm it down! [screaming continues] [groans] [screaming continues] [gasps] No, no, this is my last berry.
I need to think before I act.
Whoa.
Did I just learn something? [gasps] Did a student just learn something? [screaming] Got it! [snaps] [trumpets] [screaming] [grunts, gasps] [ramu screeching] [sniffs] [Thunk whimpers] [ramu coos] [gasps] Huh? [sighs] [chuckles] You're cute.
- No tickling.
- What are you Croods doing? We just wanted to check out your wreck room.
Sure.
We'll have such a killer time, I promise, you'll never leave.
Yeah, you really need to stop talking like that.
You can move your hands now.
[people cheering, laughing] [Eep, Thunk scream] Yes, it tends to get that reaction.
[music playing]