Doctor Doctor (2016) Episode Scripts

N/A - Episode 1

1 (MONITOR BEEPS, AIR HISSES) Check the arterial line.
Jill, suction around the aortic valve.
WOMAN: Pump flow is fine.
Alright, let's get this sclerotic calcified mess out and put our freshly picked baby in.
Actually, hang on.
- I mean, should I save this guy or not? - Dr Knight! Seriously, he's a fat, sexist shock jock who adds nothing to the world, so just saying.
- Hugh, mate, flow is falling.
- Show of hands.
We forget to connect it up properly and no-one's the wiser.
- Hugh, you need to - No? - No? No? - Hugh! (SIGHS) Alright, then I need to hear Debbie.
('HEART OF GLASS' BY BLONDIE PLAYS) Gonna need you guys in on this as well.
(SINGS ALONG) Once I had a love and it was a gas Soon turned out had a heart of glass - Can't hear singing! - (OTHERS SING HALF-HEARTEDLY) Seemed like the real thing only to find OK, fatty, let's get you back on the air.
gone behind SONG: Oh oh oh-oh I got a love that keeps me waiting Remember - tomorrow.
How could I forget? Sheriff means to hang me.
- You need to be - Shhh! - You need to be presentable.
- Absolutely.
Johnny, let's get a round for the bar.
You know, Hugh, you used to be George Clooney.
But now you're more like Charlie Sheen.
(SCOFFS) Hope the, uh, back door's better.
Well, your mama Drinks are on me.
HUGH: I have done nothing wrong.
This is bureaucratic madness.
Did the case in question look pretty? Maybe not.
Did I do everything I could to save her? Yes, I did.
And that's the job.
Several of your team testified that you've become erratic and your behaviour risky.
What? They wouldn't Have you used drugs or alcohol recently, Doctor? I had a glass of red with my cornflakes.
Is the medical board operating on sharia law now? I am a great surgeon.
Just ask 1,017 people walking around out there because of me.
My life has been about helping people and I can't imagine you'd wanna stop that happening because of some incident.
Dr Knight .
you'll be placed on the Impaired Registrants List.
You're banned from surgical practice.
No way! As head of Regional Health, we'd like you to serve your year of atonement as a general practitioner in the town of Whyhope.
Under supervision, of course.
That's not funny.
Is this because I crashed your Porsche into a tree, Jim? It was uni.
People thought you were a wanker.
I was helping you.
They're seriously understaffed for doctors in the regions.
We thought you'd be a good fit.
II can't go to Whyhope.
I can't go to Whyhope.
: Touching down in sunny Whyhope in around 90 minutes.
90 minutes seems like a long time.
(GROANS) I'm gonna need to borrow your sick bag.
(BIRDS CHITTER AND CAW) (HOPEFUL MUSIC) This is a great day for us! A great day! Ken Liu, head of operations.
Sorry I'm late.
I lost my keys in my toilet.
(CHUCKLES) And, yes, I'm young.
But like you, talent cannot be denied.
Dr Knight, right? The heart guy.
(THEME MUSIC) SONG: I'm going up the country Babe, don't you wanna go? I'm going up the country Babe, don't you wanna go? I'm going someplace where I've never been before I'll leave this city I've got to get away I'm gonna leave this city I've got to get away All this fussin' and fightin' Man, you know I sure can't stay.
KEN: I can only say what a joy it will be to have someone of your expertise.
It's so generous of you to use your sabbatical to help our local community.
(FLATLY) Yeah.
KEN: That you want to give back, admirable in these days of selfishness.
As a leader, I understand that.
A leader? Yeah, I guess it is kind of big of me.
Can I Instagram you for your arrival? No.
That's OK.
I only have five followers.
Mostly family.
But growing.
Ah, here we are.
(GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC) Hospital area through here.
As well as emergency unit and palliative care.
Plane, we charter for emergencies.
- Planes? - It's part of what we do.
I don't do planes.
I'm sure someone would've mentioned that.
- It's rostered onto the service.
- Not me.
I think I'll be more use at home base as an anchor in the storm.
You can make that happen, can't you? You have the power.
(CHUCKLES) I'll see what I can do.
Alright, Dr Cartwright is just through here.
So aren't you a bad boy.
More an unlucky victim of circumstance that saved someone's life.
Right, so not a party boy whose surgical skills were unravelling? No.
So, Hugh, I'm your supervisor.
You are on the Impaired Registrant List.
No-one, of course, knows that except for me and the board.
You answer to me.
I report on you monthly.
At the end of a year, I'll send a report to tell the board if I think you can have your life back.
(HALF-LAUGHS) You have really lovely eyes.
All the better to see through your bullshit.
- I do women.
- So do I.
We have a lot in common.
I need a good doctor.
- Well, I'm a great doctor.
- You're a surgeon.
A great GP is what I need.
- I think I can manage that.
- It's trickier than you think.
You should know one thing - I'm always the best at what I do.
I've worked harder than anyone to get where I am.
Where you are is sitting in front of me about to piss into a jar for a drug test.
(SCOFFS) This is unbelievable.
I can't do this.
You can always go to TAFE.
Be an electrician.
You have no choice if you want to stay a doctor.
- Where's the bathroom? - You'll do it in front of me.
I don't trust you yet.
(STAMMERS) This is just humiliating! Really? I'm finding it kinda funny.
(LAUGHS) Let's go, soldier.
(CLICKS TONGUE) I haven't told anyone you were coming.
- Have you told your family? - No, I haven't.
And you're the only one who knows, right? (HUGH URINATES) (GENTLE MUSIC) (FAINT CHATTER AND MUSIC) (MAGPIE WARBLES) (HUGH EXCLAIMS) KID: Where are you going? I'll get you! You gotta tag me! (BAND PLAYS LAID-BACK MUSIC) - (BAND CONTINUES PLAYING) - Hugh? - (BOTH CHUCKLE) - Fat Nathan.
Ah, Big Nathan.
People call me Big Nathan now.
'Cause I got the mines and the money.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
What's going on here? - WOMAN: Hugh! - Mum.
- Ohhh! - Hi! Oh, you're a cheeky bugger making me think you weren't coming to our anniversary.
Anniversary? Of course.
Happy anniversary.
I knew you'd come.
A mother knows.
I could feel it in my - Please don't say 'ovaries'.
- Waters.
Ovaries is disgusting.
Everyone, Hugh's here.
Come over and meet our new neighbours.
You know I've been calling you for a month.
Oh, is that what "Missed call, Matt" means? - Mystery solved.
- No-one knew if you were comin'.
As if I'd miss my parents' - something something anniver - 40th.
Really? (EXHALES LOUDLY) Imagine being with someone for 40 years.
Yeah, well, you prefer 40 minutes, of course.
14 is also very good.
It's good you're back.
How long you here? - How's Dad? - Yeah, he's alright.
He'll be very excited to see you.
- (SCOFFS) - (LAUGHS) Charlie.
You, um, look lovely.
You look like shit.
Um, hi.
MATT: Beer.
Our own, of course.
- No thanks.
- Did he just say no to beer? HUGH: Who's that? MATT: Your brother.
- Oh, the foster kid.
- MATT: Your brother.
He's been that since he was six.
Stop calling him that.
How long are you back? A day or two? (GUNSHOT) Did he just kill something? - (MICROPHONE FEEDBACK) - Righto.
Ah I don't know what to say.
But, um, thanks for comin'.
And thanks for everything, Meryl.
(APPLAUSE) Moving.
- Very touching.
- Shhh! MERYL: I know from my work on the council how important it is to hold on to institutions.
In times of change with the new mines and what our town has been through, it's more important than ever.
She does know it's her anniversary, not an election? Everything's an opportunity for Meryl.
This marriage - with love, commitment, and hard bloody work! (LAUGHS) Just like I do for this town every day.
I am voting for that marriage.
Find a baby she can kiss immediately.
Oh, and I'd also like to say how happy I am that our golden boy, Hugh, is back.
He's one of the top heart surgeons in the country.
Also, he was 'Cleo's bachelor of the year in 2012.
- (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) - (MOCK-LAUGHS) MERYL: Thank you, my darling.
- You've gladdened my heart.
- Thank you.
So much.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The photographer from the 'Courier's here.
- Oh, I'm stunned.
- Charlie, don't be snide.
- Makes you look ugly.
- Mum! Better I tell her than she walks around with an ugly face, Matt.
- Thank you for caring, Meryl.
- It's my pleasure, sweetheart.
Now, Hugh, come and get your photo taken.
Returned hero.
Make sure they get his halo in.
Just here.
- OK.
- Hugh.
- We ready? - PHOTOGRAPHER: Three, two - (SHUTTER CLICKS) - I've gotta check the cake.
So how are you, Dad? Yeah, alright.
Good catch-up.
('SHE'S SO FINE' BY THE EASYBEATS PLAYS) SONG: I woke up bright and early this morning My little girl was not in sight I've been lookin' everywhere Morning, noon and daylight 'Cause she's so fine She's so fine, fine Well, she's so fine Oh, she's so fine You know I wish she was mine I've got something to tell her - (SONG CONTINUES FAINTLY) - Yeah, maybe she'll listen Maybe not But I've never loved a woman like that before 'Cause all my love she's got Well, she's so fine (FAINT MUSIC PLAYS) (SCOFFS) (CRICKETS CHIRP) (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) You must be exhausted.
How long are you staying? Two days.
Happy anniversary, Mum.
- Hey! Don't worry.
I didn't mean to, um - I'm naked behind here.
- Right.
- Um I didn't see anything.
- Can you It's not like I haven't seen it before, so if I did it would - I'll turn round.
- Thank you.
Still got the mole on your, um No.
How long you staying? Dunno.
Not long.
Sometimes I think about coming back and settling down.
- Funny, huh? - Uh-huh.
- This is ridiculous.
I'm your mother.
I'll decide what's ridiculous.
BOY: It's a small town where we know everyone.
I can walk to school by myself.
We don't know everyone.
And where did you get a phone? This man in a white van handing out lollies gave it to me.
Said to call him if I ever needed to run away.
- Don't joke.
- It was Dad's.
Found it in his stuff.
- OK, 'bye, Mum.
Love you.
- Alright, but - (CALL DISCONNECTS) - Hello? 'Bye.
Home sweet home.
Guantánamo rang.
They want their cell back.
I have to get ready for Kimberly.
She's a pharmaceutical rep.
You'll meet her.
Very lovely woman.
Did you not think to introduce me? (GIGGLES) Haven't we talked about this? Manners.
- Courtesy.
Human contact.
- I'm in charge.
- You can't just - Quiet, Instagram.
Betty Bell.
Traffic cop.
Tarot reader at the markets on Saturdays.
For you.
- Thank you.
Hugh Knight.
- The patients are arriving.
Shall we begin the healing? (SIGHS) (GROANS) Oh! Oh, sorry.
Sor Oh! First my ear, my right ear, started aching.
- Uh, ringing or or aching? - Both.
My tongue's really dry and I've got blurred vision and, like, nausea.
So what is it? Uh, let me just finish your history here and, um, we will get to that.
Um you have a middle ear infection.
It's affecting your balance, making you nauseous.
The the eye blurring is a type of dizzy spell.
Thanks, Doc.
Just trying to give back.
Oh, shingles.
Endo crinosis.
Pfft! That's everyone, Doctor.
After school, though, onslaught.
Enough nose runs to water-slide on.
- So cute.
- Thanks, Betty.
- You managing? - All good.
Dr Google.
You're monitoring my internet? That is an outrageous invasion of privacy.
- I was guessing.
- Oh.
We barely have internet, let alone the ability to monitor the internet.
Should I sit in with you, for your patients' sake? I've been a specialist for 10 years.
I've forgotten stuff.
Let's do ward rounds.
So we have the GP clinic, we operate an emergency unit and have a 10-bed in-patient hospital.
Two beds for palliative care.
Wow, you do all that? Impressive, isn't it? Stretched to breaking point, under-resourced, we do our best.
This is Aoife.
Dr Knight.
Take him on rounds, if you would.
- Hugh.
- (IRISH ACCENT) The heart guy? - Ken's in a tizz about you.
- Hmm.
So, how are you today, Hugh? - Worst day of my life.
- Is it? Well, come look at this and tell me if you think this man's having a worse one.
Presented with respiratory difficulties.
We suspected lung infection, maybe pneumonia.
X-rays have just come back.
- Looks like a tumour.
- It does.
What do you think? Well, worst, a whole lotta lung cancer.
Best, he swallowed a cricket ball.
We need an MRI.
- We don't have those.
- Are you kidding me? No.
When I kid, I do a dimpled smile.
- (SIGHS) - (MAN COUGHS) Is that him? - Joey? - Hugh! - Joey! - (COUGHS) Easy, easy.
(COUGHS) Jesus.
What are you doing here? - For my sins.
- Which were many, no doubt.
Ah, who doesn't love a good sin? Jeez, it's good to see you.
I tried texting you.
Oh, I left my phone at home.
Dumb, huh? (SIGHS) I got pneumonia.
That right, nurse? Well, um Doctor? Um Oh, I've seen that look before.
When you caught my mum drunk in bed with that bloke and didn't wanna tell me.
You have a mass on your chest.
But here at Hillbilly Hospital, we don't know for sure what that is, so you need to go to Sydney and see a guy called Professor Trask.
He'll give you the once-over and we'll treat whatever it is, OK? Right.
A mass.
I'm not gonna die, am I? You're not leaving me here in Whyhope by myself, mate.
So, no, I won't allow it.
Besides, I just got here.
Who else am I gonna hang out with? - You're staying? - You and me, back together.
- Ohh! - A bromance, is it? That's exactly what it is, Ireland.
- Hey, I'll see you later on.
- Alright.
(SIGHS) - Fuck.
- You alright? We need to get him to Sydney.
Organise it.
Fat Nathan, I cannot stress to you how important the continuation of the flower show is.
The cancellation was a tragedy.
- BIG Nathan, Mrs K.
- Of course.
I mean, it's 74 years since the flower show's been going.
And I know the town's changing, but some things must remain, don't you agree? Mrs K, I can't sell the lease to my new mine without a guarantee council will build a road to it.
Of course, of course.
But people are against it.
They ask questions - how many FIFO workers and mines can the town take? What's the tipping point? I see myself as a guardian of that tipping point.
How short is the flower show, Mrs K? 96 to clear old debts.
75 for this year.
Let me just (SIGHS) You're a real philanthropist, Big Nathan.
And the road? I'll do what's best for Whyhope, of course.
Well, that's what's best for Whyhope.
And the flower show.
(PHONE RINGS) Meryl Knight.
Hugh what? (VEHICLE APPROACHES) - Kimberly! - Hi, Ken.
I've prepared some lunch for us after you've seen the doctors.
I put in a good word for you with the new guy.
Oh, you're a peach.
Thanks! So they're great as a blood thinner for stroke victims and they've shown great results in testing for a variety of other illnesses.
Yeah, I've used 'em before.
- So you're new around here, huh? - Mm-hm.
How are you finding it? - Dull and infuriating.
- I know.
I'm out on the road a month at a time.
Get so bored I could tear my hair out.
Hmm! But such beautiful hair.
You can touch it if you want to.
I, um I try to do one beautiful thing each day.
I'm trying to reset.
Not do things like I have in the past.
There's people just outside the door, so I get if you're too scared to.
Give it a pull.
- You need to step back, Ken.
- (MOANING) (MUTTERS) Oh, this is gonna hurt.
(KIMBERLY AND HUGH MOAN) Ken, remember - pain is fleeting and makes the heart ultimately stronger.
Well, don't you wanna look? If you think you have piles, then I believe you.
But what if I'm wrong? You're the doc.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) - Hugh, what are you doing? - Mum! I think you should look.
What if it's bad? Could you excuse us? But welcome to town.
Your industry is valued by us all.
I have to take a look at his arse, Mum.
Wanna stay? - So you will look.
- But what are you doing here? - I have piles.
- She doesn't mean you.
Oh, you poor man! They're very painful.
Cucumbers give great relief.
Sliced or whole? OK.
Let's go, Mum.
- MINER: But - This way.
But you told me you were staying two days.
I decided on a complete whim last night, after I said that.
Regional health, they need great doctors.
But you can't do that! I don't understand.
You're a genius and you're wasted in a one-horse town.
- It's a waste! - I had an epiphany, Mum.
I missed my family.
You guys are getting older.
The chances of one of you dying in a car accident are statistically quite high.
Don't say that! I don't understand.
It seems ridiculous.
- A whim? - Exactly.
And I'll be working on my artificial heart as well.
Don't you have patients in Sydney? Yeah, I No, I Well, what am I going to tell people? Ah.
Of course.
Tell them the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, that you've given a lifetime of service to this town and some of that has rubbed off on me.
Gee, that's such a sacrifice.
People will be amazed.
- And grateful.
- Mmm.
OK, but then you go back.
- You're special.
- Oh, I will.
I will go back.
- CHARLIE: Floyd.
- Can I ask a dumb question? There are no dumb questions.
You can ask anything.
Does 'oral sex' mean talking about sex? In which case, why don't they just say 'talking about sex'? Oh! Look at that - it's quiet time.
Thought you said we could ask you anything.
Yeah, we might have to have some boundaries.
(PHONE CHIMES) (MOTORBIKE REVS) MATT: Hello, gorgeous! - Is that on its way, finally? - Sure is, boss.
So that's going to Korea.
They're a really big contract for us.
Come on, I'll give you a tour.
- When did this happen? - Well, we had to do something.
Farm was going under.
HUGH: I didn't think it was that serious.
Thought it was just Dad whingeing.
No, it wasn't.
I had this idea.
I love beer.
We have wheat.
Make some money.
Don't exactly take an interest, do ya? Lives to save, little brother.
Not anymore, apparently.
You're staying.
It's normal for surgeons to take some time out.
Regional health is such a mess.
They need quality doctors.
Take Joey's mum, for instance.
If the local yokel had diagnosed her earlier, she might have survived.
You're lying about why you're back.
- And how can you tell? - You're talking.
Two pales, Jessie.
Uh, just a water for me, thanks, Jessie.
Don't you have lovely eyes.
Are you really not gonna have a beer with me? I'm on antibiotics.
You got the clap again? He's joking.
I'm a doctor.
If I did, I'd cure myself.
- Thanks.
- She's too young for you.
(SIGHS) So, how are you and Charlie? Great, yeah.
I love her, she loves me, we love it here.
We're building something really great.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
Who would've thought that I'd end up with everything? Now tell your little brother why you're really here.
Oh, I came back to take it all off you.
Ohhh! (MUTTERS) (GRUNTS) Argh! Argh! Argh! Give, give, give.
Ohhh! Ohh.
Only 'cause of my hands.
Of course.
Hey! I'm actually really glad you're back.
'Cause I'm so much fun to have around.
- AJAX: Oh, yeah! - JIM: Come on! (MEN CALL OUT) JIM: Bloody watch out.
I've reloaded.
- AJAX: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JIM: Where are you? - (GUNFIRE) - JIM: Ohhh! Yes! AJAX: Oh! Oh, my legs! - JIM: You ain't got any legs.
- I've got no more legs.
JIM: Soldier, no legs.
- (AJAX LAUGHS) - Hey.
So, Dad, I'm gonna stay for a while.
- Yeah, I heard.
- (GUNFIRE ON TV) - You're a doctor, right? - (GUNFIRE) - I'm a surgeon.
- So, um, what's the difference? A surgeon is a genius touched by God and a doctor is someone who can remember a lot of stuff.
- (GUNFIRE) - You being funny? - I am.
- I thought so.
Well, um, I'm making some bullets later tonight if you want to help out.
- He makes his own bullets.
- You're not the only smart one.
AJAX: Oh, mate, I'd look behind you.
I think there's - BOTH: Ohhhh! - (GUNFIRE) - Walked straight into it, I did.
- Yeah! - Yeah.
- (BOTH LAUGH) (SHOUTING CONTINUES) (BIRD CAWS) (BIRDS CAW) Injury at a property, head wound.
The plane's ready.
- Ken, we agreed - no plane.
- The plane's ready.
Please Instagram your progress for people following us.
No-one's following us, Ken.
I hear you shagged his girlfriend on your desk.
- You dirty bugger! - His what? Well, in his mind, she's his girlfriend.
- It's tiny.
- AOIFE: True.
If we stall and we fall, you'll die on impact.
AOIFE: It's almost painless, it's so fast.
- HUGH: That's not helpful.
- You're really scared? Fear of flying is a medical condition.
An anxiety disorder.
It's not cowardice.
When we were scared, me dad would make us sing 'Wheels on the Bus' to distract us.
I'm not singing 'Wheels on the Bus'.
(SINGS) Round and round, round and round Round and round The wheels on the bus go round and round (VOMITS, THEN COUGHS) OK.
Where's this patient? There was a lot of blood.
I didn't want to touch it.
I don't like blood.
Yeah, well, I love it.
Where is he? - Is he conscious? - Yeah, he's just over there.
Hi there, young man.
Get some gloves.
What have you done to yourself? I don't know, but whatever it is, it doesn't feel too bad.
Ah, tough country kid.
I remember that.
Alright, just stay still for me.
I'll see what we have.
Aoife, get some saline.
Clean this out for me.
- Do you feel dizzy? - A bit, yeah.
A wasp came at me, so I swung at it with the chainsaw.
Ah, overkill.
Been there.
Alright, pulse is good and strong.
It's it's .
a 4cm laceration.
Oh, you barely nicked yourself.
You're a bleeder, though.
- I might have overreacted.
- I told you I was fine.
All that blood coming from your child, of course you did.
We flew here.
- On a plane.
- Hugh! AOIFE: So you really gave up being a big shot for this? I'm a selfless type.
What's with Penny? Humourless lesbian? She's not a lesbian! Did she tell you that? She probably just doesn't want you making the moves.
Well, that's arrogant.
No, I'd say it's wisdom.
(PLANE ENGINE REVS) (SINGS) The wheels on the bus go round and round I really hope you're not wearing that on my account.
I don't want to fill you with regret seeing me naked again.
- It seems cruel.
- Good point.
So, you're staying, I hear? Yeah, that's right.
You know, give back to the community, that sort of thing.
Oh, Hugh, it's me.
I know how much you hate it here.
How you love the city.
When we were at uni, I used to make you come and visit.
So, what's going on? I'll find out.
I'm very smart, as you know.
If I decide to find out, I will.
Can you just not tell them? Matt, fine.
But not Mum and Dad.
(SIGHS) I fucked up.
There's the Hugh I know! It was just an average day.
Morning - save a life.
I think a small hand seems appropriate.
- (CHUCKLES) - (APPLAUSE) And louder.
HUGH: Everyone has their own way of unwinding.
- The party's here! - Some exercise.
Ladies, please.
- Some meditate.
- (ROCK MUSIC) - Whoo! Champagne, champagne, champagne! No? You know my motto? When you can't decide, have everything.
Pfft! Ohh! (GROANS) (EXHALES) (HUFFS) Party's over, sweetheart.
I'm happy to buy you breakfast.
Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
(GROANS) - (SIREN WAILS) - Move, move, move! Help here! Got an O.
Heart is irregular and racing.
In danger of cardiac arrest.
Alright, move! Move, move, move, move! WOMAN: Oxygen! Is she alright? She'll be fine.
She stabilised.
- Close call.
- Great.
Jesus, I don't even know her.
- I found her and - Go home, Dr Knight.
I appreciate this.
Her name's Sasha, in case you were wondering.
(LIFT BELL DINGS) We're very proud of our refurbished emergency rooms.
Let's just move through this way.
(SIGHS) Fuck! I may have pushed things a little bit too far and not even realised it.
- Well, that's your way.
- Really? Yeah, you can't see what you're doing to people and you can't face yourself.
It's a little early for character assassination.
- Isn't it? - It's just assessment.
It's friendly assessment.
And you're unbiased, are you? I mean, I hurt you.
What? What did you say? I hurt you.
Thank you! Six years later.
You never said sorry, you know that? Six years.
And I don't even care.
But you never even said sorry.
You're happy, aren't you? Things worked out well for you.
Yeah, I know.
But you send a postcard to your parents from Vegas with "I got married" written on it.
I'm staying here and your mum comes in and shows me.
I really thought we agreed to a break when I went to Boston.
- We agreed to wait! - Wait, break.
- Very similar words.
- Ohh! (LAUGHS) It only lasted a few months.
I get carried away.
You know that.
I can't stop myself.
What is that? There's a name for that.
- Arsehole.
- That's it.
Thank you.
Can't you go somewhere else? Worried you're gonna fall for me again? You destroy stuff, Hugh.
You're careless with people and there's a lot I care about here.
Oh! Jesus, Charlie, I would if I could.
- I've got nowhere else.
- Oh, poor Hugh! If I hadn't sent that postcard, we'd be married.
CHARLIE: Ohhh! How was your swim? Great! Fine.
Bathers? I thought you liked your naked swims.
Yeah, I do.
I just You know, it's getting colder, and Yabby bit my nipple the other day, so for safety reasons, bathers.
You alright? Yeah, of course.
Gonna have a shower.
Eugh! Look, I didn't know that she was your .
possible girlfriend, mate.
Look, we really need to talk about this.
I forgot to mention, I need you to cover in emergency this evening.
- (SLAMS DOOR) - Come on! Ken! We are grown men.
You just made yourself a very powerful, if somewhat disorganised, enemy.
- He can do that? - He does admin.
So he can.
In other news, you passed your urine test, congratulations.
Yes, well, I've always been very good at exams.
Why are you smiling? It'll be easier once you give in.
- To what? - Your new life.
(LAUGHS) This is not my new life.
I don't need a new life.
I need my old life.
OK, enjoy emergency.
Remember, no surgery, or you'll break your probation.
They will take your license, and since I don't give a shit, I'll let them.
- Oh! -You know the hardest thing in life, Hugh? Playing the cards you've been dealt.
That's what grown-ups do.
- I hate you.
- You love me.
Everyone does.
Your friend Joey, I can't get him in to that professor guy for a month.
- That's ridiculous.
- That's good! I talked them down from three months.
I applied all my heartstring-plucking appealing-to-their- higher-selves I could.
Even a Rumi quote.
I'm as good as it gets.
No? Alan! Hugh.
Where are you? Fratelli! You have the calamari? Yeah.
Well, recharge.
Parents on death's door.
Hey, listen, I need you to make room on your list this week for me.
OK, then, let me say this.
I know what you did last summer.
(LAUGHS) Well, I appreciate it.
Thanks so much.
Owe you one.
Did you just blackmail him? Appealed to his sense of self-preservation.
That saddens me.
We got one.
Ambulance is on its way.
(SIGHS) - (RADIO CHATTER, BEEPING) - OK, what have we got? Stab wound in the chest.
Pulse is irregular.
- BP's low.
- Let's open this up for me.
Shit, it's right above his heart.
Got to see how deep it is.
Jesus! Your finger?! Ventricular surface.
His chest is filling up with blood.
- He needs a thoracotomy.
- I'll get a chest tray.
3-0 Prolene for stitching.
Keep pressure on this ventricle to control the bleeding.
If he loses any more blood he'll die.
- Alright, you're going to cut.
- I'm a nurse.
- We don't really do that.
- Well, I can't I can't take my finger out.
Look, it's not that difficult.
You've got to slice a line 5cm either side of my finger, OK? Get ready with that suction to clear the blood out.
Then I'll suture around eight or so stitches.
Look, we're lucky.
It's not that deep.
Are you good? Good.
Other side.
Open him up.
Alright, patch.
Keep it clear.
Finger's coming out.
- There'll be pressure, OK? - Gotcha.
And coming out.
Keep it clear.
One more.
That's done.
(LAUGHS) (SIREN WAILS) AOIFE: Jesus, that was awesome fun.
I hope someone else gets stabbed.
Yes, that's the spirit, Florence Nightingale.
It was like surgery.
We did heart surgery.
Uh, no, YOU did surgery.
I just did a few stitches and stuck my finger in a hole.
It was all you, Aoife.
- You saved that man's life.
- Look what he had in his pocket.
For home.
You're welcome to come.
I'm a sharing type of person.
- How do you know I won't dob? - I know my kind when I see them.
Are you in? You're exactly who I don't need right now.
Oh, I really think the opposite is true.
I'm going home.
Ah, the words say no but the eyes say yes.
I know a man who parties when I see one.
I used to have a gift for it.
A gift.
- But I've changed.
- Really? Well, good for you.
Now, if you don't mind, I'm going home to 13 Smith Street to get off my beautiful face.
('HEART OF GLASS' BY BLONDIE PLAYS) (SINGS ALONG) I'm the one you're using Please don't push me aside We could have made it cruising, yeah (MUSIC STOPS) (INDISTINCT VOICE ON TV) Hey, Dad, you want a beer? Had this guy come in with a stab wound Shoosh! Mum, you round? YOUNG WOMAN: Giving his life like that.
Hey, did I tell you about the rapture? Well, what happens, right So, when Jesus comes back for a second time, anybody who believes will go to heaven, and everyone who is dead and buried (CHARLIE LAUGHS) (CHARLIE LAUGHS) (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) (KNOCKS AT DOOR) Well, what a surprise.
A man can change.
Tomorrow I'll be that man.