Doctor Doctor (2016) Episode Scripts

N/A - San Francisco

1 MAN: We'd like you to serve your year of atonement as a general practitioner in the town of Whyhope.
Here is your career.
(BLOWS) Bye-bye-bye.
I have a responsibility to patients.
Give me a sample immediately.
- How are you, Dad? - Yeah, alright.
- Congratulations.
- HUGH: When did this happen? Well, we had to do something.
The farm was going under.
HUGH: So, Dad, must be happy about the brewery.
Matt said it basically saved the farm.
(THUMPS TABLE) Oh, come on, Matt.
I wanted to wear my dress.
It's got nothing to do with him.
I'm always sweaty and dusty.
I thought it'd be nice for my husband.
- Bullshit! - CHARLIE: Matt's a jealous guy.
- He's gonna think stuff.
- HUGH: Like what? You're gonna get naked and let me make sweet love to you? - We're happy, Hugh.
- And we raised $312.
50 for the MRI machine.
PENNY: What's that? HUGH: An MRI machine, courtesy of Big Nathan.
- Yep.
How come? I just am.
(GROANS) Dad, are you alright? No.
(GROANS) - Is it your legs? - Cramps.
Oh! Arggh! Agh! Oh.
It passes.
This helps.
Pressing a glass up against your head? That does absolutely nothing.
Let me feel your legs.
- Get to bed.
- Stop it.
I have to examine you.
- Ow! Jesus! - Get to bed! NOW! (JIM GROANS) (SIGHS) (WHISPERS) Mum.
- Mum! - Hugh? - Dad's in agony out there.
- He'll be fine.
Presses a glass against his head and it passes in an hour or two.
What? So this has happened before? Mm.
On and off for a while.
(YAWNS) (SIGHS) (THEME MUSIC) SONG: I'm going up the country Babe, don't you wanna go? I'm going up the country Babe, don't you wanna go? I'm going someplace where I've never been before I'll leave this city I've got to get away I'm gonna leave this city I've got to get away All this fussin' and fightin' Man, you know I sure can't stay.
(CHARLIE GASPS) Oh! - Scare you? - Jesus! - Ah! - Oh! What's up? - Thinking about me? - Oh, God, you're a narcissist.
- So, that's a yes? - That's a no.
(HUGH SIGHS) - We need to talk about this.
- What? I had a headache.
Now he's in a tizz.
He fixes it with a shot glass.
- It's ridiculous.
- JIM: It works.
- That makes it not ridiculous.
- Is there dizziness? Is it a migraine? Give me some symptoms to work with.
My older son hurts my head when I think about him.
That's funny, Dad.
Someone's got to drive the minibus for the B & S.
"Matt, you need to drive a minibus full of drunks "back to town.
" So you'll do that? Great! Thank you, darling.
Now, do we need to hide the furniture? Yep, otherwise it'll be kindling.
Is this still going on? Is what still going on? Are you doing that? - Doing what? - I'm ovulating.
Do you want to hit the office and do the books? Got a B & S in 48 hours.
We don't have time.
You are doing that.
(SIGHS) Ken! What are you doing here? The donation by Fat Nathan has furnished us with a substantial variety of goods.
I'm here to take delivery of and make sure all is correct and proper.
We're buying an MRI with that money.
I believe Penny decided against that.
Antivenom? IV stand Gauze?! Are you kidding me? That man seems to know you.
Hi, Hugh.
- Trev! - TREVOR: Nice to see you.
- Trevor! -Don't touch me.
You know you can't touch me.
I forgot.
- Oh, this is very exciting.
- I know.
For me too.
- (HUGH CHUCKLES) - Big day.
Is that it? (CHUCKLES) Beautiful.
In the end, on the side that comes in contact with blood, I used titanium combined with the biological tissue, - the key to prevent clotting.
- Hopefully.
The interior is poly plastic and it contains the software? The control device is powered by a lithium battery and worn under the patient's arm.
Welcome to Arcadia Brewery.
Would you like to order? Um, two beers? Look at this.
It's pretty.
This is my sister-in-law, Charlie.
Pleased to We're very close.
- I find her very attractive.
- Indeed.
I would find it hard to have her as my sister-in-law.
I would think about her at night.
Easy, tiger.
Hey, you're doing the medical tent for the B & S, right? - Not if I can help it.
- It's not a question.
- Text me anything you'll need.
- Alright, sure.
Hey, look at this.
My brother.
They seem to hate you.
My family have an odd way of expressing emotion.
So I want to set up a trial to begin in three months' time.
We implant the heart, receive data.
The investors want to be present at the implanting.
- That's a bad idea.
- What? What if something goes wrong? There's bound to be issues.
We can't have them lose faith now.
- We'll need more money.
- But that's how it's done.
- This is my legacy, Trev.
- You mean 'our'.
- I said 'our'.
- No, you said Hey, is the MRI machine here yet? Uh, it's gonna take a while.
Really? OK.
When it does come, we should do something, you know? To celebrate my largeness.
I think he means 'largesse'.
I'll let you know.
We'll plan something.
Leave you Where was I? We.
If this works, we're famous, we're rich, we're people who saved lives, lot of lives.
So we're gonna do our own trial.
What? We're gonna need a pig.
We do it ourselves.
Six months, our own trial.
We do tweaks, we learn, THEN knock their socks off and get their money for the next stage.
I don't know.
How long have we waited for this moment? Four years, but, Hugh, I'm not sure that we should go off-protocol like Oh, four years! It's exciting! - Tell me you're excited.
- I'm excited.
I think.
I can't really separate excitement from intense anxiety.
(LOUD THUD, GLASS BREAKS) - (HORN BLARES) - Shit! Call an ambulance.
Car accident.
Ran off the road into a tree.
In and out of consciousness.
Broken nose.
Possible fractured skull.
Let's get him stable, get an MRI.
I mean a CT, because we don't have an MRI.
Jesus! Hey, buddy, can you hear me? My name's Aoife.
We're gonna get you scanned and you're gonna be alright, OK? Wait here.
What did you buy with my money? That was for an MRI machine, which I could use now.
I've got a head injury out there.
Now I'm guessing from a CT scan what's going on inside his head! Could be a traumatic brain injury, but now we'll wait, we'll send him to Sydney and hope it's not too late.
I made a call about our priorities, which I think I understand a bit better than you.
Antivenom? IV stands? Seriously? I bought things we needed.
A mammogram machine.
How did you make that call? I got a statistical overview of the clinic from Ken.
So Ken decided.
Great! The bureaucrats have won! You know, at some point you might decide to be a real hospital instead of a bus stop for people on their way to a real hospital.
Thank you for your time.
I have a patient.
I promised Nathan a parade.
What am I gonna do? Put him in the back of a trailer with packets of gauze? That's what we call "your problem".
Cheque's cashed and spent.
Tantrums we generally have outside.
- Oh, I'm having a discussion.
- And I'm leaving.
So I guess you're having a monologue.
Now, just follow my finger.
Scared the hell out of me.
I saw you in my mirror.
Oh, it's weird.
A micro-sleep, I guess.
You know, like in the ad.
Any dizziness or nausea? No, sore nose is all.
Well, you've broken your nose.
You're lucky.
Airbag saved your life.
Look up.
I'm from Sydney.
Yeah, me too.
I hate it out here.
We have a lot in common.
Looking at your CAT scan, there is no fracture.
Everything seems fine.
Yeah, it feels OK.
I'd call my wife and tell her, but she's my ex-wife.
Mm, I have one of those.
Neurological test is good.
I have a little boy too.
No, rest up.
We'll keep you under observation till tomorrow.
There's a man watching us.
That's not a man.
That's a genius.
You're amazing, Meryl.
Meryl! I'm calling for a re-vote.
Don't worry.
- HAYLEY: We did it.
- Meryl! Meryl! Meryl, you shafted me.
And I won! Or I think we'd all agree Whyhope won.
What did you do? I had those votes.
I had them! And then you didn't.
Isn't life a constant surprise? It's part of its wonder.
Get in, Hayley.
Don't push me, Meryl.
I can get nasty.
Well, your breath certainly is.
You smell like an anchovy.
(ENGINE STARTS) Meryl! You lost, Rod.
Be gracious.
It's more manly.
Meryl! I'm the mayor.
Not you, you bitch! You hear me? (SHOUTS) I am the mayor! HAYLEY: We won the vote fair and square, and he was so rude to Meryl.
It was nothing.
It was just all part of the rough and tumble.
He hit her window.
MERYL: That did give us a start.
He's not fit to be mayor.
Yeah, but we're getting fit, right, Meryl? - You sure you're OK? - G & T's all I need.
It was nothing.
(SNIFFS) Family, Trevor.
Trevor, family.
Trevor's staying the night.
Welcome, Trevor, to 'Arcadia'.
Now, let's get you a drink, some roast meat and a bed.
I forgot to say we're going hunting in the morning.
Are you for real? Dad wants us to hunt, we hunt.
We have the B & S, Matt.
It's just a couple of hours first thing.
Well, you can't go, no.
I'm not sure we do that, do we? Tell each other we can't do things.
Or is that a new thing? Like your dress.
Still with the fuckin' dress! Charlie, we've got a big day tomorrow.
I need you to stop yelling so I can get some sleep.
(HALF-LAUGHS) Oh! (SIGHS) Do I smell bloodlust? - You coming hunting? - He doesn't hunt! Actually, I'd love to.
Trev, you want to come hunting? (LAUGHS) Absolutely not.
- Hugh, I - I just want to talk to my dad.
Alright? We've still got hours yet.
Hugh, I'm just not sure about this whole pig idea.
I know you're not.
You never are.
About anything.
- That's why we have me.
- (WHIMPERS) Wait up! Do I get a gun? HUGH: Pew! Forgot how beautiful it was out here, the trees and the air.
How are the legs during the day? Tippety-top.
Remember when I was seven, we went hunting and I nearly shot a platypus? You pushed the barrel away at the last minute.
(CHUCKLES) That's right.
- Can we talk about your head? - You can.
You need a full medical.
No doubt the last was when Fraser was prime minister.
- I'm fine.
- You're certainly not fine! Can you not be so stubborn? You need to let me examine you.
Hugh, you want to look at something, take a good look in the mirror.
- (RUSTLING) - You old prick! Shh! (BANG!) (BIRDS SQUAWK) Ajax! I'm fine.
There's something wrong with this.
Give me that gun.
Right now.
Sorry, Ajax.
Idiot! So when Armageddon happens, you're the go-to guy? According to Hayley, it's called the Rapture and we won't need guns - just pure hearts.
Can you not talk? Hey, listen, I need you to convince Dad to come to the clinic.
He hates doctors.
- All doctors or just me? - Not sure.
- Look, just - Mate.
You need to shut up.
We're hunting.
MATT: Shouldn't have come hunting.
- Why? - Might shoot you.
You're being funny? Am I? You're pissed off at me, but the truth is I've done nothing wrong.
I'm pissed off at Charlie for asking about that stripper you married.
God, she wasn't a stripper! Why does everyone think she was? She was a dentist with some prescription drug issues.
- Whatever.
-(SIGHS) Look, I was a prick to Charlie.
I never really came clean about all that stuff.
You guys were together when I got back.
It was just easier to leave it all in the past.
Alright, I guess she had some questions.
Look, I don't want things to be awkward between us all.
But you thought you'd point out how awkward they are? Oh, Jesus, you've got nothing to worry about.
Charlie and I were a disaster.
No doubt she told you how bad the sex was.
What? No, I don't talk about sex with you with her.
Jesus! Was it? Bad? Some people click, some people don't.
I was under a lot of pressure as a surgical intern and guess it affected my performance.
(CHUCKLES) Her and I are like wild beasts.
That's a great image.
Thank you.
Look, I need to be friends with you.
I don't like anyone else in town.
No-one else likes you.
HUGH: Same difference.
- MATT: Hey, where are we going? - Hey, Dad! Where are we going? We're miles off the trail.
'Alzheimer's Albert', are you lost? I might be, young'un.
We'll see.
Well, there's a house.
Maybe it's an old people's home.
We can leave you here.
How does he get to speak to him like that? - Dad - You wait here.
- Is he? - Oh, shit.
Dad! - HUGH: Dad, no.
- (SIGHS) - What's he doing? - It's the mayor's place.
- Get ready to fight.
- What? - (JIM POUNDS ON DOOR) - My hands can't get hurt.
Well, see if you can kick him, then.
- Oh, bugger it.
EAGLE: What do you want? Ugh! (WHEEZES) - (COUGHS) - You show respect to women.
(COUGHS) - (DOG BARKS NEARBY) - We're leavin'.
- (WRY MUSIC) - (SNIGGERS) He abused Mum in the street.
Don't you just sometimes think how lucky we are to have him as a dad? I've never thought that.
That's literally never occurred to me.
Well, what have we here? - (PIG SNUFFLES) - Eagle's pigs? - Yeah, I guess so.
- Hmm.
Natural justice, Ajax.
(SIGHS) It cannot be denied.
And we're gonna need some help.
- What's with the pig? - It's complicated.
-Get in.
MAN ON RECORDING: Say it out loud.
KEN: I am a leader.
I inspire others.
I control others.
(PIG GRUNTS) (MONITOR BEEPS, RESPIRATOR HISSES) You? I've worked in hospitals for 20 years.
I could probably do it myself.
We'll need a chest tray.
- OK.
- This pig before we go on - Let's talk ethics.
- HUGH: Let's just start.
- Aoife -I know every animal rights person in town.
One tweet, and I will shut you down.
Rod Eagle's pig - it was destined for BLTs in the next week, according to Ajax.
- We've saved it.
- It's 'Prison Break' with pigs.
He'll be a famous pig and a loved pig.
A happy pig.
Alright, our little secret, everyone.
Let's give Porky a few extra months of life.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) Well, hello, everyone.
Doctor, what are you doing? It looks like surgery.
But that can't be right, can it? I'm putting an experimental artificial heart into a pig.
I couldn't have guessed that answer.
Really? Yep.
You got me.
That sounds cool.
Can I watch? - Sure, you can assist if you - Great.
I'll scrub in.
- MERYL: Mmm! Mmm! - JIM: Mmm! It's lovely quail.
I can't believe I'm eating them.
They're just so delicious! Yeah, that's not the best bit.
Dad beat up Eagle, and then Hugh and I stole his pig.
(COUGHS) You did what? Ajax, that was sort of between us.
I mean, hunting trips are sacred.
- You beat him up.
-AJAX: Yeah, the guy didn't land a punch.
- Dad was awesome.
- You're a bloody idiot, old man.
And what was that about a pig? Thou shalt not steal, Ajax.
HUGH: Right, connecting the aorta.
- Blood flow's good.
- Thank you.
And connected.
Wow, look at that! - You want suction around the aorta? -On it.
Prolene 3/0.
Unexpectedly good choice.
Is the main worry clotting? Well, usually, yes, but we use cow tissue to cloak the entry point.
That, we hope, will make the difference.
I'm going to call you San Francisco.
You know.
"I left my heart in San Francisco.
" Oh! Yeah, I think my granddad had that.
- Turning on.
- (BEEP!) (STEADY BEEPING) Alright, let's close and see what happens when he wakes up.
I thought you'd be mad.
Are you kidding? That was exciting.
I find you baffling.
Why didn't you get the MRI machine that saves lives? Because I had to make a judgment - and I did.
How's your head-injury patient? (BEEPING) (INHALES) What time is it? Ah, you're awake.
- How are you feeling? - Tired.
And sore.
I can't sleep.
Hello, Dale.
I'm Penny.
You hit a tree.
- What time was it? - Afternoon.
Whereabouts? Um, uh, the road out to the airport.
That's Gun Barrel Straight.
Yeah, like I said, I went to sleep.
HUGH: I saw it in the rear-view.
He was there and then he was gone.
You got a wife? Kids? Yep.
Back in Sydney.
We broke up.
FIFO, right? 28 on, eight off.
It's tough on families.
Yeah, they, um they moved to Brisbane.
II see my boy two days a month.
That sounds unbearable.
Is it? Did you go straight at the tree? OK, Dale.
Why don't you stay here for another day or so? How does that sound? We'll give you something to help you sleep.
Tomorrow we'll get someone to come in and have a chat to you.
- OK? - OK.
He tried to kill himself.
Lot of car accidents out here are that way.
Lot of depression amongst men at the mines.
I didn't see Shit.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and suggest that listening isn't your strong point.
BETTY: How transcendent that you'll get to save lives instead of just being bacon.
You're the Howard Florey of pigs, my friend.
This is completely outrageous! - This is a hospital! - BETTY: Relax, Ken.
One day, your overanxious heart will explode and you'll be glad for all this.
Let go.
- Ah! Dr Cartwright, this is - Tomorrow, Ken.
(HUFFS INDIGNANTLY) Oh! Oh, he's coming back to us.
Well, the heart is sending us a nonstop feed of data.
If it still works as he wakes up, there will be a surge moment.
It's a slightly dangerous moment.
- HUGH: How's it looking? - TREVOR: Going well.
The vitals are good.
- (PENNY GASPS) - Ooh! - (SHRIEKS) - HUGH: Yes! - (AOIFE SCREAMS) - (LAUGHS) Mwah! - Oh, my God! - Whoo-hoo! (STEADY BEEPING ON LAPTOP) - Oh! - (CHUCKLES) That looks good.
Uh, I don't normally touch people.
- Hi.
I've been being a dick.
Yeah, you have.
You asking Hugh that stuff threw me.
- I got jealous.
- That's fine.
You wanted to know if he loved you.
I guess he didn't.
I do.
I love you, Matt.
Plus, I heard about your sex life.
- You what? - He told me.
How bad it was.
It was the worst.
(BOTH LAUGH) Why do you think he has so many one-night stands? - No-one's coming back twice.
- (LAUGHS) Hey, you, uh you wanna hit the office? Do the books? - Make a baby? -Oh, I don't think I'm ovulating.
We don't know that.
We're not doctors.
Park the bus.
Um, Tugger is here, and she's being all serious.
Get rid of the pig.
Darling Chantel! I was lost in my peonies.
Oh, you look ridiculously beautiful as always.
Oh, hi, Meryl.
You need some more of my marmalade - is that it? - Oh - You're addicted, my dear.
I'm here on business.
(STAMMERS) Well, I would love a jar if you had one.
Of course! So what's this about, then? Rod Eagle's accusing your boys of stealing his pig.
He said Jim assaulted him, but he's willing to let that go if you give him his pig back.
Oh, dear! How drunk was he? Oh, he he was more hungover than drunk.
Meryl, do you have the pig? So if we had the pig and we gave it back, would the boys be charged? Well, he wants them charged.
I might be able to talk him around.
Do do you have the pig? Well, if we do - and I don't know whether we do - but if we did, would we have a deal regard charges? Pranks or youthful high spirits, perhaps? I'll see what I can do.
- Hey! - Hi! (BEEPS RAPIDLY) - Shit! Shit! Sh - Huh? Oh, no! Oh, no! (INAUDIBLE) Where's my pig? Oh, I let it out.
It wandered into the trees.
- You what?! - Oh! Oh, I - Ah! -You're OK.
You're having a panic attack.
- Hayley, you idiot.
- I'm sorry - No, you don't talk to her like that.
-I told her to.
But we need to get the pig back to Eagle, 'cause Tugger has been.
What?! No, it's got a half-million-dollar - artificial heart in it.
- And why couldn't you - just buy a pig of your own? - Exactly! - Exactly! -Well, this seemed like more fun.
- Is it? - Not right now, no.
Oh, it can't have got far.
Idiot! Maybe we could track the signal if you take your laptop into the bush.
Hayley, you god-fearing maniac, you need to tell us where - MERYL: Ajax - I'll find it.
With you.
Bring that laptop.
Hugh, you stay here.
Ajax, this pig, if it wasn't clear, is very important.
- I'm coming.
- Fine.
- Find it yourself.
- No, no, no! Please.
I Hugh, we just went hunting, alright? You don't know how to stalk.
You don't know how to be quiet.
I can get the pig, but not with you.
You have ruined everything.
You need to stay away now.
Mmm! Ajax will find it.
- We can pray as well.
- Yeah.
HUGH: Trevor? It's me.
Can you call me back and tell me what's going on? Ajax would've told him to turn it off.
Did you really put an artificial heart in Eagle's pig? Yeah.
Well, go on, mock me, disapprove.
"Hugh, you're such an idiot.
" For a smart bloke, you do some stupid things.
Yep, it's a gift.
So you built the heart? Yeah, with Trevor.
JIM: Well, you're lucky to be good at something.
Well, I kinda had to be, didn't I? Oh, I pushed ya.
But you were so good at everything, you never hit where most people stop, so I kept pushing.
Did you almost give me a compliment then? Nah, I don't think so.
So why won't you come and see a doctor? I never bothered asking you.
Because I don't wanna feel more useless than what I am.
But you're not useless.
You run a farm.
- You take care of a family.
- Do I? Or do Matt, Charlie, and your mum? (HALF-LAUGHS) Well, sorry.
I haven't got a pill for self-pity.
Yeah, you might be on the money there.
Come on, why don't you come up to the brewery and give Matt a hand, you lazy bastard? I don't go up there.
Lonely up on the mountain, is it? You know it is.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) SONG: Put away nice old things for something that is new There's your jelly shots.
Cheap car, cheap clothes You're late.
I lost the pig, and the heart inside the pig.
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, no.
(SIGHS) Do we really need two doctors to watch a bunch of bozos get drunk? - Trust me, we'll be busy.
- What you doing about the pig? - Ajax.
- Oh, he'll find it.
I hate it here.
Have I mentioned that? I don't really listen to you much, so maybe.
SONG: Everything is looking up I'll come around, come around I'm upside down Get off the stage! Off the stage! Right.
Pull me up I'm upside down Down! Down! Right now! Down! CROWD: Ooh! Matching broken noses for matching low IQs.
I think I cut myself.
SONG: A crazy fight Live louder Uhh! Live louder Hugh? Hugh! Hugh?! Oh, Mr Mayor, don't you look handsome? - Sober? How refreshing.
- I want my pig back, Meryl.
I had that pig sold and on its way to being bacon.
- I'll buy it off you.
- No.
You get me the pig back tonight or I have Jim charged with assault tomorrow morning.
Think I'll have a pale ale.
I hear they're good.
Lose yourself, let your soul redefine a new kind of cool Redefine a new kind of HUGH: Come on, come on, come on.
(GRUNTS WITH ANNOYANCE) - Hugh? - Nothing yet.
We need to get that pig back to Eagle.
It's my heart, so it's my pig.
I won't have them charge your dad.
I won't have it.
- I would just like to get - Me, me, me, me! You're here now.
You're not 'me'.
You're 'us'.
(SIGHS) God, I hope that's not you, San Francisco.
And dance like you dance when there's no-one around Sing a song the way you sing when you're in the shower Bourbon, bourbon.
As you were.
I just don't feel well.
Have you been drinking? - (VOMITS) - Oh! I feel better.
La, la, la, la, la, la Live louder - CHARLIE: Are you right? - MAN: I'm good.
- There you go.
- Thank you.
- Your friend's good? One! - He's good.
- MAN 2: Can I get a beer? - Thank you.
Help yourself.
- There you go.
Here you go.
- MAN: Down it! - Down it, down it! - (LAUGHS) - You're gonna choke on it.
- Oh, no, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Look, I'm fine.
What? Sing a song the way you sing when you're in the shower Something's wrong with my friend.
Yes, well, at the risk of being repetitive, have you been drinking? - She discovered bourbon.
- You're quite hot.
- Have you taken any drugs? - Just bourbon.
Lots of bourbon.
- Pupils are dilated.
Fever? - Were you in a hay shed? - No.
- She was, with Glen.
Who is gross, but very attractive.
- Pull your dress up.
- What? Pull your dress up now! (MUTTERS) Won't be the first time tonight.
- Look, puncture marks.
- HUGH: Snakebite.
- Aoife? - Tiger or brown? Let's do both.
Dilute 100ml in saline.
And hook her up to an IV.
I happen to have some antivenom, young lady.
Fresh in today.
I guess I just saved your life by ordering supplies wisely.
- Not flashy, but effective.
- God! Do you want a round of applause? The knowledge you're hating this moment right now is really quite enough for me.
Yes, and what's wrong with you? I wanna be a doctor.
Do you know what marks I need? Kill me.
Imagine the horror.
Thank you for what you said to him about our sex life.
Completely self-serving.
He's my brother.
I need him.
I'm sorry about your heart.
Ajax will find it.
(SIGHS) So everyone thinks.
Truth is I may have lost my heart forever.
And if it is Anyway.
You'll always have my other heart.
That was lame.
Remember when we had sex on the subway in Barcelona? (HALF-LAUGHS) God, I was so sure we were gonna get caught.
But you so got off on that.
OK, enough.
- I hope your heart still works.
- Me too.
Oh! - Why are you all so violent?! - Why would you do that?! Jesus! I'm sorry.
I'm drunk, I'm an idiot.
I'm OW! You're so careless with people! What is wrong with you?! Idon't know.
(SIGHS) EAGLE: You, you fancy wanker! - Heard you were back.
- HUGH: Rod Eagle.
You lanky piece of gout-ridden corruption.
- What? - You ugly snout-nosed wallaby.
You stinking, putrescent creep.
Did I ever tell you that I banged your daughter? Ooh .
you wanna hit me, but I'm not a middle-aged woman in a scarf.
Ooh! Oh! (COUGHS) Is that it, you empty-headed bastard cow dung? (COUGHS) Oh, I ate your pig.
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Ooh! Oh! You might as well keep going.
One of them may actually hurt.
Hugh! Oof! Oi! Are you alright? I guess the question is do I wanna press charges? All drunks delivered.
Oh! We did it.
It was almost fun.
It was.
We did.
Anything happen while I was gone? Just Mm.
Just more drinking and bad behaviour.
It's what I feel like doing.
- Both those things.
Ajax, you you did it.
What happened to you? Oh, um Nothing I didn't deserve.
(GROANS IN PAIN) - I'm fine.
- I know.
Oh, I took a look at the data you sent me for the first day.
Look, the only thing I'd say .
is that, if you were to use coagulants with it, in terms of the left ventricle, it'd diminish the biotissue's efficiency.
Mr Knight, your son is a genius.
You know this? I'm sure he shares that opinion.
- Pig alright? - Yeah.
Would've been next week's bacon.
Whole year of extra life.
Medicine can do that for pigs, people.
You should try it.
I can't get the regional psych down.
He's on holiday.
You need to do the assessment on Dale.
I can't.
I'm not a psychologist.
I'm better with unconscious patients.
There's a form.
You follow it.
You listen.
You probably can't do that, but I'm ordering you to try.
(SIGHS) Hey.
I have to ask you a few questions.
How long have you felt depressed? Months.
HUGH: Since your wife left? Plenty more fish in the sea .
to put a positive slant on things.
You know, I was driving to the airport to go home, and then I realised there was no home.
(HALF-LAUGHS) My kid's gone.
Well, now you get to have a sleep-in.
Don't have to answer all those questions they're always asking.
I like that.
I miss that.
Really? Isn't he always at you? Yeah.
Cute little bugger.
Hey, I've got some pictures.
You wanna have a look? No, I'm good.
You could always move to Brisbane.
- Nah, I only know mining.
- Yeah, but you've got a brain.
Just learn something new.
You know, I Skype my boy and he he doesn't say much.
Yeah, I think maybe I've already lost him.
I know his mum's got a new guy.
I'm gonna, um prescribe you some Clopine.
That'll lift your mood.
It may take a week or - Oh, it won't fix anything - Just stop your whining! Jesus! You're not the first guy this has ever happened to.
Kid won't talk 'cause he wants you to jump on a plane and see him.
Are you the father or the kid? I don't know whether you're depressed or just a pussy.
Oh Sorry.
I just thought a bit of tough love may I miss him.
It hurts.
Yeah, I know.
Um I'm sorry I didn't listen when you first came in.
- I didn't say anything.
- Yeah, but you kinda tried.
I just saw bones and blood.
It's actually my job to look further than that, ask a few questions.
(HALF-LAUGHS) Does that mean you're a bad doctor? Bad man.
Usually a good doctor.
(BOTH HALF-LAUGH) You really a bad man? I try not to be.
I just get bored.
Look, call your kid.
He needs you and you need him.
If you wanna fuck him up forever, kill yourself.
No, I I don't wanna.
Yeah yeah, OK.
- No.
Unless you're a father.
- Dad? You don't know a lot, but maybe you know something.
Penny'll take care of you.
- No, I'll see you.
- Trust me.
She's a reasonably adequate doctor.
- I can't examine you.
- Bullshit.
You'll need a prostate exam.
I'm certainly not having a woman do that, am I? Through here? PENNY: First on the left.
We do have lots of gloves, you'll be happy to know.