Due South (1994) s01e11 Episode Script
You Must Remember This
I give you that shot a hundred times, you'll never make it again.
Looked like something you'd do on ice skates.
This ain't hockey, Fraser, okay? This is basketball.
A good American game.
Well perhaps it has become Americanized,Ray, but, like many things Americans lay claim to, it originated elsewhere.
Get out of here.
No, it's a fact.
Basketball was invented by a Canadian.
Look, just because some fisherman once slam-dunked a halibut into a net-- Actually, it was a minister who used a soccer ball, and he nailed peach baskets to either end of the gym.
Oh this is very sad, Fraser.
Of course, Reverend Naismith eventually immigrated to the United States.
As a matter of fact, he was working at a YMCA in Springfield, Massachusetts, of all places, when he-- Stop the car.
What? Someone's parked in a fire zone.
So? Well, for one thing it's dangerous,and for another it's disrespectful of the law.
Fraser, parking illegally in this town is a sport.
All right, I'll catch up.
Hey, hey! You're gonna drive my insurance rates through the roof! Excuse me, sir.
Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
Perhaps you didn't notice that sign when you parked your car, Oh, is that so? Yes, and the problem is,you see, if the trucks were to come they wouldn't have a source for their fire hoses.
You do know what you can do with your fire hoses? Ah, well, yes, if I was unable to circumvent your vehicle, I'd pull up that sign, drive it through the side windows, and run my hoses in between.
But that's just me.
Hah.
Leave me alone, jocko.
Hey, hey.
License and registration, pal.
Register this.
Tough guys.
I think I hit a tire.
You all right? We better get you out of the street.
You'll be okay here.
I gotta go.
Who are you? Long story.
Stay.
I'd like to.
Bye.
God, you're beautiful.
Due South - You Must Remember This There was this woman.
Uh-huh.
I just opened my eyes and there she was.
The most beautiful woman I ever saw! Uh-huh.
How long was he unconscious? Four, maybe five minutes.
She pulled me to safety, and then she kissed me.
Uh-huh.
She kissed you? On the lips.
Head injury.
It happens.
Did she speak to you? She wanted to stay.
I know she did.
Then she was gone.
She wants me to find her, Fraser.
Uh-huh.
You want to stop with the uh-huh-ing? Do you remember what she looked like? She looked exquisite.
Uh-huh.
Definite hit-and-run.
Skid marks everywhere.
Nobody saw the driver.
She must have gone that way.
What do you mean she? Well, there was no one else on the street, Ray.
You think it was her? She saved my life! Well yes, she did.
After she hit you.
There's something you have to see.
I'm telling you it was an accident.
She was driving at night in a strange neighborhood with bad street lighting.
Okay, okay, so maybe she was nearsighted.
He actually stopped a guy on the south side to lecture him on fire safety? Well, it's Saturday night, and he's Canadian.
Good call.
Okay, so I ran the plate on that car you brought in last night.
Vehicle's registered to Frank Bodine.
He's got 1450 unpaid parking tickets and an expired registration.
Any priors? That's a different program.
This is just vehicular.
So Fraser, how's the apartment furnishing coming along? Very well, thank you, Elaine.
As a matter of fact, I recently purchased a lamp.
Really? A lamp.
- Very good for reading.
Is that what you do at night? Elaine, we got work to do here.
So what are you reading with this new lamp? Well, I've been reading a book about currency watermarks.
Alone? Here we go.
Bodine, Frank, aka Frank Bimington.
Aug.
'89, breaking and entering.
One year, suspended.
March '90, receiving stolen property, got 18 months in Joliet.
Did eight.
November '94, possession of illegal weapons, case pending.
No wonder he didn't want us running his license.
What about the woman? You know, funny thing, I'm having a hard time matching the word 'exquisite' to a lot of mug shots.
You want me to authorize a stakeout for a weapons violation? Assault weapons, sir.
A whole trunk full of them.
We can put out a APB on this guy, but he's one nasty piece of work,and I don't think he's just coming in for anybody, so naturally I'm thinking stakeout.
Right.
I can't blame you, Vecchio.
Stakeout is such a romantic notion.
In fact, I'm still tingling from the last one you asked me to authorize.
Oh, the hotel scam, sir? Well,that wasn't your average stakeout, sir.
Oh, it certainly was not.
I remember the hotel bill as if it were yesterday.
Poolside cabana suites, aquatic aerobic lessons.
The suspect liked to swim, sir.
The thrill of toting up that four thousand dollar mini-bar tab.
Aw, it's the honey-roasted peanuts, sir.
One bag and they got you.
Do you ever feed this wolf? I'm so terribly sorry, sir, but I think it's the urban influence.
He seems to have developed a real taste for fast food.
All right, two teams, two spotters, one apartment, no mini-bar.
Thanks, Lieutenant.
You don't get him by Friday, that's it.
Right.
If I give him some, will he stop? Not a chance, sir.
Thank you kindly, Leftenant.
So how are things at work? I don't want to talk about it.
We'll talk about it.
We won't talk about it.
It's about time, Vecchio.
Ah come on.
I'm only five minutes late.
Five minutes too late, thank you.
Hey, Dief, how you doing? You guys play any cards while we were away? We were messing around a little.
So how many do you want? Uh, none, thank you.
None?How many?None.
Gimme three.
It's all about signs.
Two.
Gimme x.
What do you mean signs? Women give you signs to let you know that they're the right woman for you.
She hit you with her car.
You call that a sign? You know, when the French fall in love, they say that they've been hit by a coup de foudre.
- What? - A bolt of lightning.
Love is a very disorienting emotion.
As a matter of fact they've done experimentsthat demonstrate that hamsters, when they're mating, secrete a hormone that makes them behave irresponsibly.
Do you know how my father knew that my mother was the right woman for him? Three.
Cheesecake.
Look, I hate to interrupt, but are we playing cards here or are we talking about cheesecake? All right, all right.
I'm in.
Thank you.
He was at his brother Angelo's wedding, in Gary.
And everyone was having a great time.
They were drinkin' wine, makin' toasts, and eatin'.
And all of a sudden,he looks across the room,and he sees this woman sittin' there all by herself, eatin' a piece of cheesecake with a knife and fork.
I mean, come on, how often do you see a person eatin' a piece of cheesecake with a knife and fork? They either eat it with their fingers or just a fork.
It that why he married her? Because she was eating a piece of cheesecake with a knife and a fork? No, Gardino, it was a sign! That's how he knew she was the right woman for him.
She was a lady.
You gonna call or what? - I don't know.
- Come on, Louis, it's only matchsticks!I don't know! Look, I can't see why we don't play for real money.
I mean, we're cops.
What are we gonna do, arrest ourselves? No, but he will.
I'm sorry, I would feel honor-bound.
Great I think there's two million women on this planet you could be happy with.
I mean you meet one and you got to ask yourself, is this number one, number two million, or number six hundred and seventeen.
It's a crap shoot, you know? You could settle for six hundred and seventeen and tomorrow meet number eleven.
I raise.
Okay.
Then Phyllis was number two million and one.
She drove me crazy.
She had a voice like a parakeet.
Never shut up.
Then there was Vanessa.
She was number two million and two.
She came from a family of meat packers.
You visit your in-laws on a Sunday and come home smelling like a pork roast! You gonna raise, Fraser? Well, I'm just wondering if I should.
Perhaps you could refresh my memory.
Does a straight beat when they are all the same kind? Not even in Canada.
I got trips.
You know the only sign I ever got was from Janice, and that took five years.
What was it? From her lawyer.
Came in the mail.
So there we were, parked in the Rivera.
It's two o'clock in the morning, and she asks me where do I think this relationship is going.
Look--call or fold! I mean, come on! What kind of question is that to ask somebody at two o'clock in the morning? Perhaps she was just being prudent.
Are you in? Fraser, nobody who's prudent has any business being in love.
I'm telling you, man.
It was a beautiful summer night and there was a soft breeze coming in off the lake.
This is no time to sit and talk about the future.
The future is, it's gonna be noon before we finish this game.
See, talk is bad.
You talk, and before you know it, it's all over, < ppt> you're married.
Right! And then what? What about love? What about that moment when you know that this is the woman you want to spend every waking hour with for the rest of your life? Okay, my turn.
I call.
Look at this, I'm playing poker with myself.
I'm telling you, you gotta have that moment in your life where you know you'll never ever be the same again.
When it happens, how do you know? You just know.
And that's what happen to me on Saturday night.
I got the sign.
Now all you got to do is find her.
Hey, I'll find her.
I'll find her.
I got a flush.
Well, I'm sorry, Louis, but it would appear that I have a Royal House.
A what? That's a full house, Fraser.
Oh, so it is.
I'm terribly sorry.
Look at this! A Mountie sand-bagging.
Who ever heard of a Mountie sand-bagging? You only meet the woman of your dreams once in a lifetime.
I'll find her.
You watch.
Meanwhile, you want to deal?Huh?Deal! Oh yeah.
You know, there was a woman once, Ray.
We were, uh I don't know what we were.
In the end, I tracked her up above the 62nd parallel into a place called Fortitude Pass.
A storm had been blowing for days; the whole world was white.
By the time I found her I had lost everything--my packs, my supplies, myeverything.
She was huddled in the lee side of a mountain crag.
She was almost frozen, very near death.
So I staked a lean-to and draped my coat across it,drew her inside, and covered her body with mine and I just held her while the storm closed around us like a blanket, until all I could hear was the sound of her heartbeat, weakening I forced her to speak to me just talk to me say anything to keep the cold from taking her And it snowed for a day, and a night, and a day.
I was delirious;I almost gave up.
The only thing I had to hold onto was the sound of her voice,which never wavered.
She recited a poem.
You know, funny thing I must have heard that poem a thousand times that night.
I never heard the words.
It ended badly.
She had a She had a darkness inside her and the most beautiful voice.
The most beautiful voice you ever heard.
I've got somebody entering the building.
Copy.
Someone's coming in.
She's in the apartment She's gone to the wardrobe She's taking his clothes.
Fraser, it's her.
Now she's coming outside.
Stop her.
Dief! Oh, that is it.
You're cut off, bucko.
Police, hold it!Hey! There she goes, Fraser.
The woman of my dreams.
That wasn't a sign, Fraser, it was an omen.
Why didn't I see it? Well, anyone can have a lapse in judgement, Ray.
Nah, this is not a lapse, this is my life, Fraser.
You know every time I think I've found the right woman, she turns out to be the wrong one.
The one I thought was wrong, we'd make a date and I never show up.
Six months later I'm sitting in some pewand I'm watching her walk down the aislewith some goomba and I'm thinking 'that's her, that's the one.
How did I let her slip through my fingers?' Uh, Ray.
This one.
This one I would have bet my soul on.
Here she is working for Frank Bodine.
Ray, slow down.
No, no, no, we'll lose her.
No, watch.
You slow down, she'll slow down.
She has no intention of losing you, Ray.
You mean she's a decoy? She tricked us? God, why do I love that? The apartment.
Hang on.
They made me, Frank, get out of there.
He's gone.
We missed him.
The wardrobe is closed.
She'd left it open.
What did he need so badly to go to all that trouble to get? She was in and out of here in thirty seconds.
She knew exactly where everything was.
We've been staring at this apartment for three days.
Now, what do we know about this man? You think she's been living here with him? We know he's nearsighted.
The TV is too close to the easy chair.
And when we met him he wasn't wearing glasses.
Maybe contact lenses? Ah, just because she's doing his dirty work doesn't mean that she's-- He went to the wardrobe.
Now, what is in here? Well, I don't know Fraser.
Some of her stuff, some of his stuff.
How am I supposed to know? These sheets have hospital corners.
Oh thank god they're not floral.
Only a woman buys floral.
That's something you learn in the army, Ray.
Not with a rap sheet like his.
- What if he were in the National Guard? Well, that would give him access to weapons.
It's missing.
What? What's the one thing a guardsman is never suppose to be without? His uniform.
That's what he came back for, Ray.
His uniform.
He was a sergeant in the National Guard, '85 through '88.
- Still active? - With his record? Check anyway, and get me the name and location of every unit he's been a member of.
- Got 'em.
- Thank you kindly, Elaine.
Why can't I meet some nice young thing who's crazy about me? You know, someone who wears shorty pajamas and knits me mufflers at Christmastime.
Is that too much to ask for? What exactly are shorty pajamas? Oh, don't ask, you're better off.
Me,I gotta fall for some hit-and-run driver who works for a stolen weapons dealer.
Go figure.
Go figure what? It's an American expression, Fraser.
Don't you think it's about time you picked up the lingo? It's the cop! Come on, baby, take out the cop.
Take him out.
She had the perfect shot, Fraser.
She almost killed me.
No, she didn't, Ray.
- She missed you by seventeen centimeters.
- What? She was firing a Barretta The truck was barely moving.
I pulled this out of the wall from behind you.
What are you saying, that she missed me on purpose? Her trajectory was offline by almost eight degrees which is impossible to do unless you're trying.
- Why? - I don't know.
But maybe I do.
Maybe I saw it in her eyes.
Ray, you've only known this woman for a few seconds while you had a concussion.
Yeah, well, it doesn't matter, Fraser.
I mean, 10 seconds, 10 years - chemistry is chemistry.
I figure Bodine's got something on her.
Maybe she did something foolish when she was young, and Bodine is blackmailing her into helping him.
Well, I-I suppose it's a theory, but-- She really wants to get out.
That's why she's sending me signals, Fraser.
She wants me to rescue her! Ray, Ray.
Maybe you shouldn't think about this right now.
No, I mean, come on.
How often in a lifetime does this type of thing happen? I mean, has it ever happened to you? Well I-I, uh-- Of course not, you're a Mountie.
What does a Mountie know about women? I think I'm in love with her, Fraser.
It's freezing in here.
- When's the coffee going to be ready? - Soon as you make it.
Oh great.
Why don't they call, huh? Sitting on a half a million bucks worth of weapons, and I gotta deal with flakes? Is the phone turned on? Leave it on the table.
You know, I still don't know how you missed that cop.
Neither do I.
Off day I guess.
Well, I don't like that cop or his fruitcake Mountie friend.
We should take 'em both out.
Never learned how to relax, Frank.
How are you ever going to enjoy that half million if you can't relax? He's a Mountie.
These Mounties, they catch you sooner or later.
I hate that.
That's not real life, Frank.
That's Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Call me when the coffee's ready.
They made me, Frank, get out of there.
Is that her voice? She's doing it under duress.
Right.
She shot at you under duress, too.
Was that the only call in or out? There was one wrong number and someone trying to sell life insurance.
What the hell were you doing following her? She took some clothes out of Bodine's apartment.
Hey! You don't quit a stakeout! - Oh, is that so? - Yeah.
Well, unless you've got a little thing for that babe who's decoying you.
Did I ask your opinion? Did anybody in this room ask for Detective Gardino's opinion? Can you give me the number she was calling from? Sure, but she called from her car.
It was a cell phone.
No, you've never gonna track a cell.
It's a nightmare.
Not really.
Not if you've tracked caribou.
Fraser? Let's try this one more time, okay? We're in Chicago.
We are not tracking caribou, we're tracking gun runners.
No, no, I understand, Ray, but I think we can catch them the same way.
What we need is a map of the company's antenna locations.
-What time is it? - 2:20.
- They said two o'clock.
-I know I should have got half the money up front.
That way they couldn't stiff me.
- Why didn't you think of that? - I did.
But what do I know?.
So what's it called again? It's called triangulation, Ray.
It's the same technique that game wardens use to track caribou herds.
Well, that's fascinating, Fraser, but the last caribou spotted in Chicago was over three hundred years ago.
That was the cell phone company.
They found her number and picked up the signal.
Here, near Carpentersville.
It's farmland mostly.
Not too many folks with mobile phones in those parts.
Does the phone have to be in use to pick up the signal? No, it just has to be on to receive calls.
It emits a signal unless the power's off.
That's the good news.
Elaine, we are attempting to track criminals as though they were fur-bearing animals.
What news could be bad? The grid covers an area of over twenty square miles.
Unless you plan to go door to door Okay, Fraser.
How do we find the herd? The cellular phone company sends a signal from their antenna to the phone.
The phone then sends a signal back.
We draw a line on the map from that location to the signal, then we move to another location, trip the signal again and draw another line.
That's our triangulation.
Wherever those lines meet on the map that's where we'll find Bodine.
If I find her, I have to arrest her, too.
End of story.
Well, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh-huh Where? All right, we'll meet you there in an hour.
Pack your bikini, baby! We're getting something.
There.
You take the barn.
I'll take the house.
Diefenbaker.
Oh never mind.
I'm sorry.
Frank! You all right? She kissed me.
After she hit you? I'm gonna see her in jail, Fraser, if it's the last thing I do.
Sorry.
This road intersects with the main highway in five point four kilometers.
I want her, Fraser.
If we can stop them from getting to the highway-- I'm gonna put this chick away for a long time.
She'll be 90 before they let her out.
Perhaps you should radio for backup.
She won't be able to do this to me anymore.
Ray, backup.
Huh? It might be a good idea to radio the sheriff's station and request backup.
Right.
Patch me through to the Kane County Sheriff's Station.
- How long before we hit the highway? - A few more minutes.
Armed robbery, attempted murder.
Assault and battery on a police officer.
What do you figure? Forty to life? - I don't know, Ray.
- Hard time in Joliet.
Slow down.
What? There's a road up on the right.
There they are! Damn it, it's them.
Floor it, baby.
Go, go! Go-go-go! Go-go-go! Cut em off! Cut em off.
The other way.
Go-go-go back! Go-go-go!Come on!Damn! Come on! - You're sure this is a good idea? - Yes, Fraser.
- You're quite sure? - Yes.
- Now what? - Go around it.
- There's no road.
What's the matter with you? Then go through it! Ray, I don't mean to press the point,but we're standing behind a 1971 Buick Riviera.
They, on the other hand,are hurtling down a hill at roughly 47 miles an hour in a 6-ton, steel-plated military weapons carrier.
Works for me.
Very good.
Go through it.
No! Oh, there you are.
Out of donuts, are we? Are you all right? What happened? It's a long story.
- You need an ambulance.
- No.
Stay.
Stay.
I'd like to.
Are you okay to walk? I think so.
Good.
Good.
Come on.
Come on.
Get up.
- Oh, oh.
Get out of here!What? Get out of here!You can cut through the woods.
You gotta get to the highway! You're letting me go? I tried to kill you three times.
What, are you deaf? Get the hell out of here! Special Agent Suzanne Chapin.
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
You just screwed up five months of work, Detective.
hey're gonna ask for my shield, Fraser.
Nine years on the force, down the drain.
There were mitigating circumstances, Ray.
She's a Fed, Fraser.
I offered to let her go.
She's gonna put that in her report and three minutes later,Welsh is gonna call me into his office and ask for my shield.
And he'll be right.
I would have bet my soul on her, Fraser.
Stupid.
Well, if you ask me, he woulda been better off if she'd just hit him and left him dead on the pavement.
See? That is the trouble with signs.
You get the right sign from the wrong woman,you end up paying for it for the rest of your life.
Better he never saw that sign.
Better it never happened.
Then how would you know? How would I know what? If you never saw the sign, how would you know if you were wrong or right? You don't know.
You just go on taking chances.
Like every other dumb schmo.
See, that is the great thing about love.
It evens the odds.
Anyone can be completely humiliated.
Well, if there was a sign, and I could tell by the way he blew his nose or tipped his hat, I'd want to know.
Women don't have signs.
Men have signs.
Women have biological imperatives.
It's true.
I read it.
Jeez, Gardino, it's no wonder your wife left you for a pork roast.
What? Lieutenant wants to see you, Vecchio.
Yeah, and bring your playbook.
Come in.
Yeah, sit down, Vecchio.
Oh, I'd rather stand, sir.
Suit yourself.
I have Special Agent Chapin's report on the Bodine arrest here.
Would you like me to read the relevant passage? Yeah, sure.
Why not? "We were able to seize 850 assault weapons and put Frank Bodine in custody.
This arrest could not have been accomplished without the assistance of Detective Ray Vecchio, who was instrumental in bringing this operation to a satisfactory conclusion.
His hard work and courage in the face of danger were exemplary.
" Congratulations, Detective.
I'm sorry, sir? I said 'Congratulations.
' Yeah, yes.
Thank you, sir.
I gotta find her, Fraser.
I took the liberty.
Regent's Park Hotel.
Thanks.
You want something, Detective? That kiss meant something.
Yeah, it meant 'step closer so I can hit you.
' You must be really good at your job.
Apparently.
What do you take me for,some kind of jerk? What do you think, you can walk away and not spend the rest of your life wishing you had the guts to say it? It was a job.
Then why didn't you report me? Come on, who needs the paperwork? Go home.
That's it, Fraser, that's the sign.
What is, Ray? The look.
She left me, but she left me for the right reason.
She loves me.
But she's gone.
Well, that's what's right for us.
Maybe someday it won't be, but now it is.
But you might never see each other again.
Exactly.
That's what we need - ridiculous odds and just a speck of hope that someday we'll beat 'em.
I can't say I understand that, Ray.
Well, of course you don't.
You aren't too swift at this stuff, are you, Fraser? End by wmn001 ^_^
Looked like something you'd do on ice skates.
This ain't hockey, Fraser, okay? This is basketball.
A good American game.
Well perhaps it has become Americanized,Ray, but, like many things Americans lay claim to, it originated elsewhere.
Get out of here.
No, it's a fact.
Basketball was invented by a Canadian.
Look, just because some fisherman once slam-dunked a halibut into a net-- Actually, it was a minister who used a soccer ball, and he nailed peach baskets to either end of the gym.
Oh this is very sad, Fraser.
Of course, Reverend Naismith eventually immigrated to the United States.
As a matter of fact, he was working at a YMCA in Springfield, Massachusetts, of all places, when he-- Stop the car.
What? Someone's parked in a fire zone.
So? Well, for one thing it's dangerous,and for another it's disrespectful of the law.
Fraser, parking illegally in this town is a sport.
All right, I'll catch up.
Hey, hey! You're gonna drive my insurance rates through the roof! Excuse me, sir.
Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
Perhaps you didn't notice that sign when you parked your car, Oh, is that so? Yes, and the problem is,you see, if the trucks were to come they wouldn't have a source for their fire hoses.
You do know what you can do with your fire hoses? Ah, well, yes, if I was unable to circumvent your vehicle, I'd pull up that sign, drive it through the side windows, and run my hoses in between.
But that's just me.
Hah.
Leave me alone, jocko.
Hey, hey.
License and registration, pal.
Register this.
Tough guys.
I think I hit a tire.
You all right? We better get you out of the street.
You'll be okay here.
I gotta go.
Who are you? Long story.
Stay.
I'd like to.
Bye.
God, you're beautiful.
Due South - You Must Remember This There was this woman.
Uh-huh.
I just opened my eyes and there she was.
The most beautiful woman I ever saw! Uh-huh.
How long was he unconscious? Four, maybe five minutes.
She pulled me to safety, and then she kissed me.
Uh-huh.
She kissed you? On the lips.
Head injury.
It happens.
Did she speak to you? She wanted to stay.
I know she did.
Then she was gone.
She wants me to find her, Fraser.
Uh-huh.
You want to stop with the uh-huh-ing? Do you remember what she looked like? She looked exquisite.
Uh-huh.
Definite hit-and-run.
Skid marks everywhere.
Nobody saw the driver.
She must have gone that way.
What do you mean she? Well, there was no one else on the street, Ray.
You think it was her? She saved my life! Well yes, she did.
After she hit you.
There's something you have to see.
I'm telling you it was an accident.
She was driving at night in a strange neighborhood with bad street lighting.
Okay, okay, so maybe she was nearsighted.
He actually stopped a guy on the south side to lecture him on fire safety? Well, it's Saturday night, and he's Canadian.
Good call.
Okay, so I ran the plate on that car you brought in last night.
Vehicle's registered to Frank Bodine.
He's got 1450 unpaid parking tickets and an expired registration.
Any priors? That's a different program.
This is just vehicular.
So Fraser, how's the apartment furnishing coming along? Very well, thank you, Elaine.
As a matter of fact, I recently purchased a lamp.
Really? A lamp.
- Very good for reading.
Is that what you do at night? Elaine, we got work to do here.
So what are you reading with this new lamp? Well, I've been reading a book about currency watermarks.
Alone? Here we go.
Bodine, Frank, aka Frank Bimington.
Aug.
'89, breaking and entering.
One year, suspended.
March '90, receiving stolen property, got 18 months in Joliet.
Did eight.
November '94, possession of illegal weapons, case pending.
No wonder he didn't want us running his license.
What about the woman? You know, funny thing, I'm having a hard time matching the word 'exquisite' to a lot of mug shots.
You want me to authorize a stakeout for a weapons violation? Assault weapons, sir.
A whole trunk full of them.
We can put out a APB on this guy, but he's one nasty piece of work,and I don't think he's just coming in for anybody, so naturally I'm thinking stakeout.
Right.
I can't blame you, Vecchio.
Stakeout is such a romantic notion.
In fact, I'm still tingling from the last one you asked me to authorize.
Oh, the hotel scam, sir? Well,that wasn't your average stakeout, sir.
Oh, it certainly was not.
I remember the hotel bill as if it were yesterday.
Poolside cabana suites, aquatic aerobic lessons.
The suspect liked to swim, sir.
The thrill of toting up that four thousand dollar mini-bar tab.
Aw, it's the honey-roasted peanuts, sir.
One bag and they got you.
Do you ever feed this wolf? I'm so terribly sorry, sir, but I think it's the urban influence.
He seems to have developed a real taste for fast food.
All right, two teams, two spotters, one apartment, no mini-bar.
Thanks, Lieutenant.
You don't get him by Friday, that's it.
Right.
If I give him some, will he stop? Not a chance, sir.
Thank you kindly, Leftenant.
So how are things at work? I don't want to talk about it.
We'll talk about it.
We won't talk about it.
It's about time, Vecchio.
Ah come on.
I'm only five minutes late.
Five minutes too late, thank you.
Hey, Dief, how you doing? You guys play any cards while we were away? We were messing around a little.
So how many do you want? Uh, none, thank you.
None?How many?None.
Gimme three.
It's all about signs.
Two.
Gimme x.
What do you mean signs? Women give you signs to let you know that they're the right woman for you.
She hit you with her car.
You call that a sign? You know, when the French fall in love, they say that they've been hit by a coup de foudre.
- What? - A bolt of lightning.
Love is a very disorienting emotion.
As a matter of fact they've done experimentsthat demonstrate that hamsters, when they're mating, secrete a hormone that makes them behave irresponsibly.
Do you know how my father knew that my mother was the right woman for him? Three.
Cheesecake.
Look, I hate to interrupt, but are we playing cards here or are we talking about cheesecake? All right, all right.
I'm in.
Thank you.
He was at his brother Angelo's wedding, in Gary.
And everyone was having a great time.
They were drinkin' wine, makin' toasts, and eatin'.
And all of a sudden,he looks across the room,and he sees this woman sittin' there all by herself, eatin' a piece of cheesecake with a knife and fork.
I mean, come on, how often do you see a person eatin' a piece of cheesecake with a knife and fork? They either eat it with their fingers or just a fork.
It that why he married her? Because she was eating a piece of cheesecake with a knife and a fork? No, Gardino, it was a sign! That's how he knew she was the right woman for him.
She was a lady.
You gonna call or what? - I don't know.
- Come on, Louis, it's only matchsticks!I don't know! Look, I can't see why we don't play for real money.
I mean, we're cops.
What are we gonna do, arrest ourselves? No, but he will.
I'm sorry, I would feel honor-bound.
Great I think there's two million women on this planet you could be happy with.
I mean you meet one and you got to ask yourself, is this number one, number two million, or number six hundred and seventeen.
It's a crap shoot, you know? You could settle for six hundred and seventeen and tomorrow meet number eleven.
I raise.
Okay.
Then Phyllis was number two million and one.
She drove me crazy.
She had a voice like a parakeet.
Never shut up.
Then there was Vanessa.
She was number two million and two.
She came from a family of meat packers.
You visit your in-laws on a Sunday and come home smelling like a pork roast! You gonna raise, Fraser? Well, I'm just wondering if I should.
Perhaps you could refresh my memory.
Does a straight beat when they are all the same kind? Not even in Canada.
I got trips.
You know the only sign I ever got was from Janice, and that took five years.
What was it? From her lawyer.
Came in the mail.
So there we were, parked in the Rivera.
It's two o'clock in the morning, and she asks me where do I think this relationship is going.
Look--call or fold! I mean, come on! What kind of question is that to ask somebody at two o'clock in the morning? Perhaps she was just being prudent.
Are you in? Fraser, nobody who's prudent has any business being in love.
I'm telling you, man.
It was a beautiful summer night and there was a soft breeze coming in off the lake.
This is no time to sit and talk about the future.
The future is, it's gonna be noon before we finish this game.
See, talk is bad.
You talk, and before you know it, it's all over, < ppt> you're married.
Right! And then what? What about love? What about that moment when you know that this is the woman you want to spend every waking hour with for the rest of your life? Okay, my turn.
I call.
Look at this, I'm playing poker with myself.
I'm telling you, you gotta have that moment in your life where you know you'll never ever be the same again.
When it happens, how do you know? You just know.
And that's what happen to me on Saturday night.
I got the sign.
Now all you got to do is find her.
Hey, I'll find her.
I'll find her.
I got a flush.
Well, I'm sorry, Louis, but it would appear that I have a Royal House.
A what? That's a full house, Fraser.
Oh, so it is.
I'm terribly sorry.
Look at this! A Mountie sand-bagging.
Who ever heard of a Mountie sand-bagging? You only meet the woman of your dreams once in a lifetime.
I'll find her.
You watch.
Meanwhile, you want to deal?Huh?Deal! Oh yeah.
You know, there was a woman once, Ray.
We were, uh I don't know what we were.
In the end, I tracked her up above the 62nd parallel into a place called Fortitude Pass.
A storm had been blowing for days; the whole world was white.
By the time I found her I had lost everything--my packs, my supplies, myeverything.
She was huddled in the lee side of a mountain crag.
She was almost frozen, very near death.
So I staked a lean-to and draped my coat across it,drew her inside, and covered her body with mine and I just held her while the storm closed around us like a blanket, until all I could hear was the sound of her heartbeat, weakening I forced her to speak to me just talk to me say anything to keep the cold from taking her And it snowed for a day, and a night, and a day.
I was delirious;I almost gave up.
The only thing I had to hold onto was the sound of her voice,which never wavered.
She recited a poem.
You know, funny thing I must have heard that poem a thousand times that night.
I never heard the words.
It ended badly.
She had a She had a darkness inside her and the most beautiful voice.
The most beautiful voice you ever heard.
I've got somebody entering the building.
Copy.
Someone's coming in.
She's in the apartment She's gone to the wardrobe She's taking his clothes.
Fraser, it's her.
Now she's coming outside.
Stop her.
Dief! Oh, that is it.
You're cut off, bucko.
Police, hold it!Hey! There she goes, Fraser.
The woman of my dreams.
That wasn't a sign, Fraser, it was an omen.
Why didn't I see it? Well, anyone can have a lapse in judgement, Ray.
Nah, this is not a lapse, this is my life, Fraser.
You know every time I think I've found the right woman, she turns out to be the wrong one.
The one I thought was wrong, we'd make a date and I never show up.
Six months later I'm sitting in some pewand I'm watching her walk down the aislewith some goomba and I'm thinking 'that's her, that's the one.
How did I let her slip through my fingers?' Uh, Ray.
This one.
This one I would have bet my soul on.
Here she is working for Frank Bodine.
Ray, slow down.
No, no, no, we'll lose her.
No, watch.
You slow down, she'll slow down.
She has no intention of losing you, Ray.
You mean she's a decoy? She tricked us? God, why do I love that? The apartment.
Hang on.
They made me, Frank, get out of there.
He's gone.
We missed him.
The wardrobe is closed.
She'd left it open.
What did he need so badly to go to all that trouble to get? She was in and out of here in thirty seconds.
She knew exactly where everything was.
We've been staring at this apartment for three days.
Now, what do we know about this man? You think she's been living here with him? We know he's nearsighted.
The TV is too close to the easy chair.
And when we met him he wasn't wearing glasses.
Maybe contact lenses? Ah, just because she's doing his dirty work doesn't mean that she's-- He went to the wardrobe.
Now, what is in here? Well, I don't know Fraser.
Some of her stuff, some of his stuff.
How am I supposed to know? These sheets have hospital corners.
Oh thank god they're not floral.
Only a woman buys floral.
That's something you learn in the army, Ray.
Not with a rap sheet like his.
- What if he were in the National Guard? Well, that would give him access to weapons.
It's missing.
What? What's the one thing a guardsman is never suppose to be without? His uniform.
That's what he came back for, Ray.
His uniform.
He was a sergeant in the National Guard, '85 through '88.
- Still active? - With his record? Check anyway, and get me the name and location of every unit he's been a member of.
- Got 'em.
- Thank you kindly, Elaine.
Why can't I meet some nice young thing who's crazy about me? You know, someone who wears shorty pajamas and knits me mufflers at Christmastime.
Is that too much to ask for? What exactly are shorty pajamas? Oh, don't ask, you're better off.
Me,I gotta fall for some hit-and-run driver who works for a stolen weapons dealer.
Go figure.
Go figure what? It's an American expression, Fraser.
Don't you think it's about time you picked up the lingo? It's the cop! Come on, baby, take out the cop.
Take him out.
She had the perfect shot, Fraser.
She almost killed me.
No, she didn't, Ray.
- She missed you by seventeen centimeters.
- What? She was firing a Barretta The truck was barely moving.
I pulled this out of the wall from behind you.
What are you saying, that she missed me on purpose? Her trajectory was offline by almost eight degrees which is impossible to do unless you're trying.
- Why? - I don't know.
But maybe I do.
Maybe I saw it in her eyes.
Ray, you've only known this woman for a few seconds while you had a concussion.
Yeah, well, it doesn't matter, Fraser.
I mean, 10 seconds, 10 years - chemistry is chemistry.
I figure Bodine's got something on her.
Maybe she did something foolish when she was young, and Bodine is blackmailing her into helping him.
Well, I-I suppose it's a theory, but-- She really wants to get out.
That's why she's sending me signals, Fraser.
She wants me to rescue her! Ray, Ray.
Maybe you shouldn't think about this right now.
No, I mean, come on.
How often in a lifetime does this type of thing happen? I mean, has it ever happened to you? Well I-I, uh-- Of course not, you're a Mountie.
What does a Mountie know about women? I think I'm in love with her, Fraser.
It's freezing in here.
- When's the coffee going to be ready? - Soon as you make it.
Oh great.
Why don't they call, huh? Sitting on a half a million bucks worth of weapons, and I gotta deal with flakes? Is the phone turned on? Leave it on the table.
You know, I still don't know how you missed that cop.
Neither do I.
Off day I guess.
Well, I don't like that cop or his fruitcake Mountie friend.
We should take 'em both out.
Never learned how to relax, Frank.
How are you ever going to enjoy that half million if you can't relax? He's a Mountie.
These Mounties, they catch you sooner or later.
I hate that.
That's not real life, Frank.
That's Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Call me when the coffee's ready.
They made me, Frank, get out of there.
Is that her voice? She's doing it under duress.
Right.
She shot at you under duress, too.
Was that the only call in or out? There was one wrong number and someone trying to sell life insurance.
What the hell were you doing following her? She took some clothes out of Bodine's apartment.
Hey! You don't quit a stakeout! - Oh, is that so? - Yeah.
Well, unless you've got a little thing for that babe who's decoying you.
Did I ask your opinion? Did anybody in this room ask for Detective Gardino's opinion? Can you give me the number she was calling from? Sure, but she called from her car.
It was a cell phone.
No, you've never gonna track a cell.
It's a nightmare.
Not really.
Not if you've tracked caribou.
Fraser? Let's try this one more time, okay? We're in Chicago.
We are not tracking caribou, we're tracking gun runners.
No, no, I understand, Ray, but I think we can catch them the same way.
What we need is a map of the company's antenna locations.
-What time is it? - 2:20.
- They said two o'clock.
-I know I should have got half the money up front.
That way they couldn't stiff me.
- Why didn't you think of that? - I did.
But what do I know?.
So what's it called again? It's called triangulation, Ray.
It's the same technique that game wardens use to track caribou herds.
Well, that's fascinating, Fraser, but the last caribou spotted in Chicago was over three hundred years ago.
That was the cell phone company.
They found her number and picked up the signal.
Here, near Carpentersville.
It's farmland mostly.
Not too many folks with mobile phones in those parts.
Does the phone have to be in use to pick up the signal? No, it just has to be on to receive calls.
It emits a signal unless the power's off.
That's the good news.
Elaine, we are attempting to track criminals as though they were fur-bearing animals.
What news could be bad? The grid covers an area of over twenty square miles.
Unless you plan to go door to door Okay, Fraser.
How do we find the herd? The cellular phone company sends a signal from their antenna to the phone.
The phone then sends a signal back.
We draw a line on the map from that location to the signal, then we move to another location, trip the signal again and draw another line.
That's our triangulation.
Wherever those lines meet on the map that's where we'll find Bodine.
If I find her, I have to arrest her, too.
End of story.
Well, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh-huh Where? All right, we'll meet you there in an hour.
Pack your bikini, baby! We're getting something.
There.
You take the barn.
I'll take the house.
Diefenbaker.
Oh never mind.
I'm sorry.
Frank! You all right? She kissed me.
After she hit you? I'm gonna see her in jail, Fraser, if it's the last thing I do.
Sorry.
This road intersects with the main highway in five point four kilometers.
I want her, Fraser.
If we can stop them from getting to the highway-- I'm gonna put this chick away for a long time.
She'll be 90 before they let her out.
Perhaps you should radio for backup.
She won't be able to do this to me anymore.
Ray, backup.
Huh? It might be a good idea to radio the sheriff's station and request backup.
Right.
Patch me through to the Kane County Sheriff's Station.
- How long before we hit the highway? - A few more minutes.
Armed robbery, attempted murder.
Assault and battery on a police officer.
What do you figure? Forty to life? - I don't know, Ray.
- Hard time in Joliet.
Slow down.
What? There's a road up on the right.
There they are! Damn it, it's them.
Floor it, baby.
Go, go! Go-go-go! Go-go-go! Cut em off! Cut em off.
The other way.
Go-go-go back! Go-go-go!Come on!Damn! Come on! - You're sure this is a good idea? - Yes, Fraser.
- You're quite sure? - Yes.
- Now what? - Go around it.
- There's no road.
What's the matter with you? Then go through it! Ray, I don't mean to press the point,but we're standing behind a 1971 Buick Riviera.
They, on the other hand,are hurtling down a hill at roughly 47 miles an hour in a 6-ton, steel-plated military weapons carrier.
Works for me.
Very good.
Go through it.
No! Oh, there you are.
Out of donuts, are we? Are you all right? What happened? It's a long story.
- You need an ambulance.
- No.
Stay.
Stay.
I'd like to.
Are you okay to walk? I think so.
Good.
Good.
Come on.
Come on.
Get up.
- Oh, oh.
Get out of here!What? Get out of here!You can cut through the woods.
You gotta get to the highway! You're letting me go? I tried to kill you three times.
What, are you deaf? Get the hell out of here! Special Agent Suzanne Chapin.
Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.
You just screwed up five months of work, Detective.
hey're gonna ask for my shield, Fraser.
Nine years on the force, down the drain.
There were mitigating circumstances, Ray.
She's a Fed, Fraser.
I offered to let her go.
She's gonna put that in her report and three minutes later,Welsh is gonna call me into his office and ask for my shield.
And he'll be right.
I would have bet my soul on her, Fraser.
Stupid.
Well, if you ask me, he woulda been better off if she'd just hit him and left him dead on the pavement.
See? That is the trouble with signs.
You get the right sign from the wrong woman,you end up paying for it for the rest of your life.
Better he never saw that sign.
Better it never happened.
Then how would you know? How would I know what? If you never saw the sign, how would you know if you were wrong or right? You don't know.
You just go on taking chances.
Like every other dumb schmo.
See, that is the great thing about love.
It evens the odds.
Anyone can be completely humiliated.
Well, if there was a sign, and I could tell by the way he blew his nose or tipped his hat, I'd want to know.
Women don't have signs.
Men have signs.
Women have biological imperatives.
It's true.
I read it.
Jeez, Gardino, it's no wonder your wife left you for a pork roast.
What? Lieutenant wants to see you, Vecchio.
Yeah, and bring your playbook.
Come in.
Yeah, sit down, Vecchio.
Oh, I'd rather stand, sir.
Suit yourself.
I have Special Agent Chapin's report on the Bodine arrest here.
Would you like me to read the relevant passage? Yeah, sure.
Why not? "We were able to seize 850 assault weapons and put Frank Bodine in custody.
This arrest could not have been accomplished without the assistance of Detective Ray Vecchio, who was instrumental in bringing this operation to a satisfactory conclusion.
His hard work and courage in the face of danger were exemplary.
" Congratulations, Detective.
I'm sorry, sir? I said 'Congratulations.
' Yeah, yes.
Thank you, sir.
I gotta find her, Fraser.
I took the liberty.
Regent's Park Hotel.
Thanks.
You want something, Detective? That kiss meant something.
Yeah, it meant 'step closer so I can hit you.
' You must be really good at your job.
Apparently.
What do you take me for,some kind of jerk? What do you think, you can walk away and not spend the rest of your life wishing you had the guts to say it? It was a job.
Then why didn't you report me? Come on, who needs the paperwork? Go home.
That's it, Fraser, that's the sign.
What is, Ray? The look.
She left me, but she left me for the right reason.
She loves me.
But she's gone.
Well, that's what's right for us.
Maybe someday it won't be, but now it is.
But you might never see each other again.
Exactly.
That's what we need - ridiculous odds and just a speck of hope that someday we'll beat 'em.
I can't say I understand that, Ray.
Well, of course you don't.
You aren't too swift at this stuff, are you, Fraser? End by wmn001 ^_^