Empty Nest (1988) s01e22 Episode Script

Life goes on and so do we just how we do it is no mystery Sometimes the answer can be hard to find That's something I will never be I'm always here for anything that you need rain or shine I'll be the one to share it all as life goes on We share it all as life goes on good morning, Laverne.
You're late again.
I got caught in traffic.
I know, and the dog ate your homework.
Now, we've got a full day as usual.
The lights in exam room three are out for the day.
Mrs.
Frazier's triplets are sick.
She was wonderin' if she could bring in just one as a prototype.
And little Nicolas Christopher called ten times just to let you know you're the number six on his daddy's new automatic dialer.
Room one, first patient, William sexton.
Oh.
This ain't a library.
Let's get a move on.
Look who's here, William.
Do you remember Dr.
Harry from the hospital? Cutie pie! Let me see.
Oh, nice! Look at him.
Let's see, nurse here, You're doing real good.
Ah, great.
And the temperature is normal.
Oh, good.
Looks like all we have to do is a quick once-over.
So my little sweet William, how are you doing today there? Miriam, dear, I'll have to take the baby to look at him.
Oh, oh, okay.
If you're sure.
Sure, okay.
- Have you got him? - I got him.
- Are you sure? - I'm sure.
No, if you put your hand under his head there and just support his little body.
So cute.
Like this? Maybe I should just hold him.
Miriam, dear, I have done this before.
Yes.
Hello, hello! Oh, look at you.
Come over here.
Oh, sweetie.
Let me look.
Let me see what you got here.
What are you doing? I'm just checking a few things out here.
This is a very good sign.
Knee bone connected to the thigh bone The thigh bone Look at you.
Ooh.
Oh, all hinges swing freely.
I think you've got an athlete here.
Really? Oh, his father would love that.
So William, one week old.
Well, you'll be glad to know you haven't peaked yet.
No, there's still walking ahead.
That's a big one.
Talking is a lot of fun.
Okay, so soon you're gonna have to give up the breast, but 15, 20 years you'll be back with a vengeance.
Let me see you.
Let me see you.
Oh, you sweet baby.
Look at you.
All right, William Bennet sexton.
Here's some advice to start you on your way.
Always listen to what your parents tell you.
Always listen to what your teachers tell you.
But most importantly, always listen to what that little voice inside you tells you.
Unless, of course, it's telling you, "go to the garage and get the ammo belt.
" All right? Here you go, dear.
Here you go.
- You got him? - I've got him.
- Are you sure? - Yes, I'm sure.
Thank you, doctor.
We'll see you next time.
All right, there.
Let me see Oh, there you go.
Oh, and listen, dear sleep when you can.
Do not hesitate to call me anytime day or night.
And the ammo belt thing.
Goes for you too.
Well, hello there.
What is this? It says your preschool nurse brought you in.
I told miss Jenkins I had a stomach ache.
That was just so I could see you.
Oh, all right.
What can I do for you? Carrie cathleen touched my head during recess.
I've got cooties.
Ooh! All right then, lets We better take a look at this.
All right, come on.
Open up.
Here we come, here we come.
Open up.
Let me see, let me see.
There's one tongue, two tonsils.
It's all there.
Looks okay to me.
Sure, if you're not counting the cooties.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
We gotta get a shot.
Okay, roll up your sleeve.
Close your eyes.
Okay.
Poof! There you go.
That didn't hurt, did it? Ow, yes it did.
Well, the good news is that's the last cootie shot you're ever gonna need, because from now on, if a girl ever touches you again, you just have to tug on your ear, and it releases the vaccine back into your system.
You are cured for life.
So back to preschool.
But Carrie cathleen also touched my friend Curtis.
He has cooties.
This typhoid Carrie must be stopped.
Curtis needs a shot too, Dr.
Harry.
Well, I'm afraid you're gonna have to tell Curtis he has to go to his own doctor.
Bad news, Curtis.
Dr.
Harry says you have to go to your own doctor.
Oh, well, what am I saying? Any friend of yours is a patient of mine.
He'll do it, Curtis.
Curtis says okay.
He also says your zipper is open.
Oh.
Curtis said, "made you look.
" Remind Curtis his life is in my hands.
All right, here we go.
Come on, Curtis.
Let's go.
Get up, old Curtis.
Gahh.
There you go.
Okay.
Looks like somebody was here before you, Curtis.
All right, I'm sorry.
We'll get him over here in a second.
Come on.
You get up.
There you go.
There you are.
A lot of people in front of you.
Why doesn't Curtis just jump up on the table all by himself? There you go.
- But he - He's up here.
I got him.
Okay, shot time.
Everybody close their eyes.
Curtis, roll up your sleeve.
Poof! Up, that's it.
You're all done.
Jump down.
He's down.
All right, I'll take care of you two guys later.
Hey, you remember now.
If it happens again, you just okay, bye-bye, Dr.
Harry.
Yeah, Curtis, mine hurt too.
Oh, hi, Billy.
Hi, Dr.
Weston.
Hi, doctor.
I'm Billy's dad, Elton.
Oh, nice to meet you.
I'm Harry Weston.
Where is Mrs oh, my wife is at home.
She's got the same flu my Billy boy's got.
I see.
Well, how you doing? How you feeling? You still feeling tired? Uh-huh.
Yeah? You still drinking a lot of water and peeing a lot? Uh, well, the tired is the flu, right? And the drinking a lot is just his mom giving him a lot of fluids because of the flu.
And the urinating a lot is just the drinking a lot and gravity.
Billy, why don't you go outside and play in the waiting room while your dad and I have a little talk? No, no, no.
He can stay.
I think it would be better if Billy left the room.
He can stay.
I'm sorry.
Just that getting a call from your little boys doctor to talk about something that can't be discussed over the phone is frightening.
Yesterday when Billy was in, I ran a few tests on him.
And his blood glucose levels are elevated, indicating an Insulin deficiency.
So Billy has a condition known as juvenile onset diabetes.
Diabetes? What? My son starts peeing a lot, so it has to be diabetes? The important thing to know is that with daily Insulin and a proper diet look, look, doctor, I appreciate all your tests.
Is there another doctor that we can see, someone who might be able to recognize this flu? Of course there is.
And I am sure he will tell you the same thing I just told you.
If you walk out that door and do not get treatment for your son, you're gonna have a very sick boy here.
Please, doctor, you're scaring the boy.
I'm not trying to scare anybody.
I'm trying to get your attention.
Billy, come here.
Come on.
Oh, come here for a minute.
Let me talk to you here.
Now, sweetheart, you know the way you've been feeling lately? Sick? Yeah, well, you are sick.
There's something in your tummy here that's called a pancreas.
And it just stopped working right.
But you're gonna be fine.
We're gonna put you in the hospital for just a few days, and you're gonna be okay.
I don't want to go to the hospital.
I know, but we need you to, because there they're gonna give you some medicine to make you feel better right away.
And then they're gonna teach you why you're sick and how you can feel better all the time by watching what you eat.
And they're gonna teach you and your mom and your dad how give you these special shots every day.
For how long? Oh, there's always a lot of hope.
So much research.
There's new drugs and transplants.
But as of right now Billy will have to take Insulin shots every day for the rest of his life.
But the important thing to remember here is that you're gonna be fine.
You can do all the things you love doing.
You can still play baseball, go swimming, go camping with your folks.
I don't want to have diabetes.
Oh, baby.
I don't want you to have it either.
I tell you what.
Suppose I teach you the very first secret you'll learn at the hospital? I'll teach it right here and right now.
Huh? All right, listen.
Now, I'm gonna give you something that I want you to carry with you at all times.
It's emergency medical equipment just for kids with diabetes.
Now, because after you start taking the shots, you might get this yucky kind of feeling.
That's called low blood sugar.
Now, when you get that feeling, I want you to pull out the special equipment immediately.
What is it? Pez dispenser? It's not just any pez dispenser.
That's a Sylvester pez dispenser.
Now when you get that kind of yucky low blood sugar feeling, I want you to take eight pez's immediately.
But that's only for those emergencies.
You got that? And pez will make me feel all better? Absolutely, I promise you.
Now, see this is my own personal pez dispenser.
But I want very much for you to have it.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
So we can all meet at the hospital tonight? Okay.
Okay, thank you, dear.
Listen, doctor.
I said some things oh, no, no, no, no.
Come on, it's okay.
It's all right.
All right, now I'm gonna have the nurse arrange everything for us at the hospital, okay? All right, there.
And you I'll see you and Sylvester at the hospital tonight.
Hey, slugger.
How you doing here? Oh, big day, huh? I bet you're itching to get that cast off.
It's a little joke there.
Come on.
Are you really gonna saw it off? That's right.
We're gonna saw it off.
Come on.
Let's get this thing off here.
Is this gonna hurt? No, no, no, no.
It's not gonna hurt.
But there is one thing I should warn you about.
There's an excellent chance this might tickle, so no laughing.
Hey, it does tickle.
Hey, will I lie to you? "You must pay the rent.
" "I can't pay the rent.
" "I'll pay the rent.
" "Oh, my hero.
" Now let's see.
Let's go.
All right.
Let's see.
Easy now, easy.
Easy, easy, easy.
Ah, okay, easy.
All right, easy, come on.
There you ah.
Oh, cool.
Look at my arm.
It looks like a dead man! Will this stay till Monday so I can gross everyone out at lunch? I'd love to tell you yes, but these things have a disgusting habit of going right back to normal right away.
Bummer.
Yeah, I know.
Come on.
Let's go.
Easy.
Okay, now if that wrist hurts at all or if you have any problems or any questions, let me know, all right? Well, I do have one question.
Go ahead.
What's sexual intercourse? Look, have you asked your mother about this? Yeah, I asked her.
And she said that since my dad is not alive anymore and all that, maybe I should ask you about it.
Okay, all right.
Well, um, what you have you heard? I know that it has something to do with a man and a woman.
- Right.
- When they're in love.
Good.
And an airplane bathroom at 30,000 feet.
We've hit a little turbulence here.
Let me see.
Let me start from the very beginning, all right? Now, when a mother and father want to bring a great kid like you into the world, they sleep together, usually at night, although that's negotiable.
And usually in bed, although that depends upon how long it's been since they last saw each other.
Anyway, if everything goes smoothly, after a while, a little baby begins to grow in the mother's tummy.
You with me so far? Yeah, I'm with you, except for that "sleep together" thing.
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
That's why I'm gonna lend you this book which explains all the details very nicely.
And it's also got, you know, some really kind of terrific pictures in it and stuff.
See? I've got one of those.
I know.
And if you didn't you'd have one of those.
What a gyp.
It's not a gyp.
Those are very good too.
Look, I know it's gonna take a little while to get this all understood here.
But you know, you can this Wow.
So this is how it all happens.
Yes, yes.
Just a moment.
I'm gonna lend you this book, and you'll take it home.
And you'll be able to read it, and then you'll understand.
Okay? Sure, and when I'm through, I'm gonna sell it to John mostow for a lot of money.
Yeah, no, you're not selling it to John mostow.
You're gonna bring that book back to me when you're finished with it.
I'm missing my only copy.
Okay.
All right, when you're finished reading it, you're gonna give me a call, and we'll talk some more.
Okay, I'm gonna start reading this right now.
Bye-bye.
All right, I'm sure.
Oh, wait a minute.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ho, ho! And remember, that man loves that woman.
Hey, champ.
How are you doing? Fine, Dr.
Weston.
You know, I biked over here.
You've got some great speed bumps in the parking lot.
Could do some incredible wheelies.
Yeah, I know.
That's why I come here weekends.
Well, baseball season starts Friday.
I just need you to fill out my medical release.
All right, you got it.
I already filled out the name and the address stuff.
Okay, let's see.
You're allergic to wool, right? - Right.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Chicken pox, yes.
Mumps? Yes.
So are you still knocking the cover off the ball? Yeah, just last week I killed a seagull on the scoreboard.
I really felt terrible, you know, being our mascot and all.
Any dizziness or headaches? No, I think he died instantly.
You.
No, nothing special.
Okay, alcohol? No.
Cigarettes? No.
Drugs? Why would they want to know that? So "no," right? Well, I mean, they have no way of checking or anything, right? Wait a minute.
You're not fooling around with this stuff? Well, I mean, it's not really drugs.
Marijuana sometimes.
Marijuana is really drugs.
That stuff is dangerous.
You know your body.
Doesn't it bother you that you could be screwing up your baseball and your schoolwork? Man, I should have never opened my mouth about this.
Now you're just gonna put it on my form.
No, no, I'm not.
Well, thank you.
I'm just gonna sign this form and leave the drug question blank.
What? Oh, I'll let you answer that.
Why? You made the decision about drugs.
This goes with the territory.
Okay, okay.
Well, I'm just gonna check off "no," because if I put "yes," I'll probably get kicked off the team.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You just told me this wasn't gonna affect you.
It's already turned you into a liar.
Hey, will you just leave me alone, okay? You said I could check the one I wanted to, and I did.
Yes, but you checked the wrong damn one.
You were supposed to think about it, wrestle with it and then realize what you're doing is very stupid and stop doing it.
Hey, I don't need the lecture, all right? Besides, you've signed the form.
I'm out of here.
No, you're Wait a minute.
You're not out of here.
Not till I knock some sense into your head.
What is the matter with you? I mean, I can't believe that you became such a stupid kid, that you're gonna screw up your entire life for this Look at me! What am I doing here? I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's just that I always thought that you were gonna be one of the kids who got through all this okay, and I find out today you're not.
So are we finished? Can I go now? I just I'm so disappointed in you.
Yeah, well, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but I can't let that bother me.
So thanks for the form.
You know, I really hate it that you're disappointed in me.
That makes two of us.
You're not gonna just let me leave feeling this way, are you? Hey, Billy! How you doing? Great, Dr.
Weston, except it's bill now.
Oh, gosh, yeah.
I just came by to pick up my file and, you know, say good-bye.
Oh, come on, for old time's sake.
Let me at least take your temperature.
Come on.
So what college did you finally decide on? University of Texas.
University of Texas is a wonderful school.
You're gonna do great there.
Oh, I hope so.
But you know, being from Miami, I'm afraid I'm gonna stick out like a green prong.
Greenhorn.
Yeah, I'm in big trouble.
No, no, come on.
You're just nervous.
That's all.
That's natural.
I mean, when I went away to school, I was a wreck.
But it turned out fine.
I had this one roommate who offered to do my laundry and then tied my underwear knots.
And I had this other roommate who offered to untie the knots.
Eventually the two of them got a little apartment off-campus together.
And then I got two new roommates who let me do my own laundry, and we're still in touch.
So you're saying, "hang in there.
" Actually I was just rambling.
But okay.
Thanks.
So are you gonna take one of those work study jobs to get through? No, I don't need one.
I got a baseball scholarship.
All right, a baseball scholarship.
Good for you.
I also had offers from Michigan and Virginia.
What made you decide on Texas? Well, I guess you haven't seen the "girls of southwest conference" issue of playboy.
Aha-ha.
Well, this is everything your new doctor is gonna need.
You know, I still remember the first day you came in here.
I practically had to wrestle you away from your mother just to get a look at you.
Yeah, it's the same thing all over again with me leaving for college.
Hey, hey, hey.
Well, so Billy Bill.
William.
I'm proud of you.
You know, you straightened up, got rid of some bad habits, and you came through nicely, and I know if your father were still alive he'd be very proud of you too.
And I know if he were here right now, he'd give you one of these.
Come here.
Thanks, Dr.
Weston.
Oh, listen, before I forget, while I was packing I found this in my old room.
It's the uh It's the book you taught me the facts of life with.
I'm sorry it took me so long to get it back to you.
Listen, why don't you keep it? It might come in handy with the girls of the southwest conference.
Oh no.
I've had it for nine years.
I think I've pretty much got it down.
Hey, look at me.
You're all set.
You got everything? All set.
Good-bye, Dr.
Weston.
So long, Laverne.
Bye-bye, hon.
So, Laverne, who's the second patient of the day? You might enjoy that.