Empty Nest (1988) s02e24 Episode Script

Life goes on and so do we just how we do it is no mystery sometimes the answer can be hard to find That's something I will never be I'm always here for anything that you need rain or shine I'll be the one to share it all as life goes on we share it all as life goes on boy, these foreign films are really complicated.
It's pretty straightforward, Barbara.
The undersea atomic explosion awoke the creature, and now he's attacking Tokyo.
Oh, I cannot believe I let your aunt Rosalie talk me into this.
Daddy, it's just a blind date.
And aunt Rosalie says she's just your type.
And that she reminds her a lot of mom.
Yeah, with all due respect to your aunt Rosalie, her judgment leaves something to be desired.
Daddy, you just say that 'cause she lives in that tiny apartment with a few cats.
That's 80 paws.
Daddy, don't go into this with a bad attitude.
I mean, look at Carol and I.
We've had plenty of blind dates.
You've had a few good ones, haven't you? Not really.
Yeah, me neither.
Okay, I feel better.
Hi, westons.
Can I watch the weather on your TV? What's wrong with your TV, Charley? Nothing.
Anyway, here's the thing.
Word is that channel 58's weatherman is leaving, and they're looking for a new one, so I was thinking, "maybe I'll give up the cruise-ship thing and do that.
" Charley, you can't just be a weatherman.
You know nothing about meteorology.
What's to know? This is Miami.
It's always sunny, humid, and 72.
All right, here we go.
Hey, Harry.
Where you off to? Blind date.
Blind date, huh? Good move.
Blind dates are great.
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
A gal willing to go out with someone sight unseen We're talking desperate.
We're talking naked by midnight.
Charley, I've been meaning to ask you for a very long time.
Don't you have neighbors on the other side of your house? Chain locks.
Make a note Chain locks.
- Good night.
- Good night, daddy.
- Have a good date.
- Thank you, dear.
Hey, I'm missing the weather.
And this high-pressure area is due to a cold front moving in from Canada.
This could be very bad news for the citrus crop.
Whoo, what a yawn.
Forget about being a weatherman.
I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, Charley.
- Now back to you, Tanya.
- Thank you, Bob.
Whoa! Rethink.
Who is that goddess? That's Tanya hanes, one of the anchor ladies.
Well, I don't care what she does for a living.
She's a babe.
And I'm gonna be working beside her.
Excuse me, gals.
But I got to rehearse my weatherman lingo if I'm gonna get that job.
Too bad about that nuclear meltdown, Bob.
But on the plus side, it's gonna be sunny this weekend.
I got to tell ya, that coffee cake is terrific.
Well, thanks.
It's my own recipe.
It's delicious.
Oh, oh, are these your children? Yes.
Oh, nice-looking kids.
Oh, not kids anymore.
Suzanne's married and living in Boston.
And Kevin and his family live in Dallas.
Yeah.
I have three girls.
Oh, where are they? At home.
Well, no, actually, my youngest, Emily, is going to college up north.
But seeing as she's changed her major five times in four semesters, I have a feeling she's gonna be joining us real soon too.
I really do like your house and what you've done with it.
Oh, thanks.
After the divorce, I thought about selling it, what with the kids gone and everything, but I just couldn't.
I put so much of myself into it.
More coffee? No, no, no, dear.
Thank you.
I-I really should be going.
Tell me, am I alone here, or did we just have a good blind date? You're not alone.
- I'd like to do it again.
- I'd like that too.
Great.
Okay, uh, Wednesday.
Fine.
Well, good night.
- Oh, hold it.
- Oh.
What, what, am I drooling? I was i was assured I had that under control.
No, I got some lipstick on you.
There.
- I'll call you.
- Great.
Good night.
Ah, yes, indeed.
Good night.
Good morning, Laverne.
Oh, I see your blind date went well.
Laverne, you really think you've got me pegged, don't you? You think you read me like a book.
Maybe, but you ain't exactly a page-Turner.
As it happens, I did have a very nice time.
In fact, I'm gonna be taking Claire out again Wednesday.
So if you would, please, reservations, Emilio's, 8:00.
I already did.
Ha ha! Yeah, sure.
That well even you don't know me.
Wrong, that dinner date is already in this here appointment book.
Really? Let me see that.
Ah, ha ha! As I figured, it is not in that book, and you were bluffing.
Wrong.
I got a dollar says I'm right.
Can we drop this, doctor? Let's make it $3.
Fine.
Have it your way.
I'll pay you later.
I only have a ten.
I anticipated that as well.
Here's a five and two ones.
Now, don't be making that face any longer than it normally is.
Tell me about this lady.
Well, actually, Claire is great.
And there was this one little thing that happened.
I had a little smudge of lipstick on my cheek.
She wiped it off.
I don't know Just a sweet, simple gesture, kind of thing Libby used to do.
Hi, Dr.
Weston.
Oh, Jeffrey.
Hello, nurse Todd.
May I say you look lovely in white? And the culottes are a refreshing change from your usual pants outfit.
Well, thank you, Jeffrey.
I know I don't have an appointment, Dr.
Weston.
But can I talk to you? It's rather urgent.
Sure.
All right, my friend What's on your mind? Well I'd like a note excusing me from school for the next four years.
Jeffrey, what is this all about? Something terrible has happened Dr.
Weston, - something horrible.
- What? Last week my father enrolled me in Public school.
He felt it would be good for me to be around regular children.
Well, Jeffrey, I think your father's right.
But I'm not fitting in, Dr.
Weston.
I have nothing in common with these kids.
You wouldn't believe the looks I got when I tried my standard icebreaker "hello, I'm Jeffrey.
I've memorized pi to 34 places.
" That's the look.
Jeffrey, it's only been a week.
I don't like it there, Dr.
Weston.
I want to go back to the school for the incredibly gifted.
I miss my old friends Takashi, the concert cellist, and little hans, who was doing such promising work in psychobiology.
Jeffrey, listen here now.
When I was a little boy about your age, my parents sent me away to camp, and I hated it.
And I called every day, and I begged them, and I cried, "please, take me home.
" But after about a week, when I stopped fighting it so much, I mean, I discovered camp wasn't that bad.
In fact, I liked it.
I grew to love it.
I see your point, Dr.
Weston Very instructive anecdote.
Oh, thank you.
Yet curiously similar to Allan sherman's 1963 hit song, hello muddah, hello fadduh.
Yeah, well Good-bye, Dr.
Weston.
Everything looks great.
Good evening.
May I take your order? Yes, I'd like the chicken marsala, please.
Very good.
And you, sir? Oh, I can't decide between the lasagna and the Halibut.
Fish is better for you.
I know, but I love the lasagna here.
The Halibut has fewer calories and less cholesterol.
You really should have that.
Claire, I am a doctor.
Oh, of course.
I'm sorry.
I'll have the Halibut But for all different reasons than she was saying.
Oh, I really am sorry about that.
It's force of habit.
I spent 25 years watching my ex-husband's diet.
Well, there's no need to apologize.
I understand.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
My wife, Libby, used to do the same thing.
So Us.
Oh Here.
- What is this? - Oh, just a little something I saw in a store today and thought of you.
Claire, you shouldn't have.
Harry, please, it's just a small gift.
You've taken me out a couple of times, and Well, open it.
Oh.
Oh, oh.
I thought it would look good with that sport coat you wore the other night.
Well, it's beautiful.
Oh, here.
Wait.
There.
I never could figure out how to do that.
That is such a pretty color on you.
Well, thank you.
That's very sweet of you.
Now, I want you to know that every time I wear it, I will think of you, this night, and how very much I really wanted that lasagna.
No.
Hi, Barbara, you cute thing, you.
Carol.
What do you want, Charley? I wanted you to be the first to know you're looking at the new channel 58 weatherman.
Charley, you got the job.
Well, practically.
I just have to audition.
But those other 70 guys don't stand a chance.
The camera loves the dietz-ster.
Charley, I'm curious.
You had some sort of interview, I take it.
- Yeah.
- And it never came up that you know absolutely nothing about the weather? Well, I think I nipped that in the bud.
When they called me in, the first thing I said was, "hey, nice weather outside.
" Yeah, I can't wait to start working with Tanya.
And the best part is, when I finally do get her over to my place, she won't freeze up when I turn the camera on.
Charley.
Hey, Harry.
Mighty dark weather we're having.
- Hi, girls.
- How was your date? - Not bad.
- Where'd you go to dinner? - Uh, Emilio's.
- And what did you have? Claire had the chicken.
I wanted lasagna.
She talked me into the Halibut.
Oh, good for her.
Where'd you get the handkerchief? Oh, Claire gave it to me.
It's very beautiful, daddy.
She has good taste.
And you finally learned how to make the three points like mom used to.
No, actually, Claire did that.
So when do we get to meet her? I know.
Why don't you have her stop by on your next date? Well, I'm not so sure there is gonna be a next date.
- Why not? - I don't know.
Something just doesn't feel right.
- Well, what? - I don't know.
It's me, isn't it? No, Carol.
This has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Oh.
I bet I know what it is.
You've never been out with someone who is so much like mom, someone so compatible, and maybe it's a little scary.
- Yeah.
- I don't know.
Maybe you're right.
I guess i guess that's it.
- I know that's it.
- I'm positive that's it.
Okay, good.
We all agree, that's it.
That's not it.
Good morning, Laverne.
Hmm.
Sounds like you're having ambivalent feelings about Claire.
Laverne, you stop that.
You stop that right now.
I'm instituting a new policy around here.
From now on, I want to be the first person in this office who knows what I'm feeling.
Is that understood? Even before you said it.
- Dr.
Weston, may I see you? - Yeah, sure.
Well, hello, nurse Todd.
Nice eye shadow.
It brings out the Hazel in your eyes.
Well, thank you, Jeffrey.
Come.
All right, so how's it going at public school now? Well, I've become quite popular with many of the players on the football team.
Oh, great! See, I told you.
It's just gonna take a little bit of time.
Right as usual, Dr.
Weston.
And now if you could give me a prescription for some sort of stimulant, I'll be on my way.
What is going on? Well, I'm having to stay up very late doing all the football players' homework.
That's why they're being nice to you Because you're doing their homework? Jeffrey, these people are not your friends.
They're using you.
Yeah, well Did it ever occur to you, Dr.
Weston, that perhaps I'm using them, that I want to do their homework under the threat of violence? Jeffrey, listen to me.
You are a terrific kid, and you deserve real friends.
But the kids at this school don't want somebody like me for a friend.
They think of me as an egghead Or they would if they were familiar with the term.
Listen to me.
I want you to go back to that school.
Just be yourself, and you're gonna make lots of friends.
You'll see.
- All right, I'll try.
- Good boy.
But could you at least send me off with one of your trademark cliches? Well, just hang in there, keep a stiff upper lip, and everything will work out for the best.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
Yes, aunt Rosalie, Claire's on her way here right now to meet the girls.
Hello? Uh, aunt Rosalie, you have to speak up.
I can't hear you with all that meowing.
Yes, I know.
Yeah, Claire is a very nice lady.
Oh, well, I think it's much too soon to be talking about marriage, dear.
Yes, I know we all need somebody to rub up against our shins.
Yeah, aunt Rosalie, dear, I have to go.
I love you, dear.
Bye.
Okay.
Oh, boy, nice job.
You girls did okay.
Daddy? Do you think I'm a complete loser? Where did that, uh, come from? I was cleaning.
And I noticed how the light sliced through the dust.
And I thought, "one day that's what I'll be Dust.
" And what will I have to show for it? No husband, no children.
I don't know about my job at the library.
Oh, come Carol, Carol, Carol.
Shh, shh, shh.
Come on, baby.
You're gonna be okay.
What a nut.
I'm sorry, daddy.
Fine time I picked to reassess my life.
It's not your fault, dear.
I mean, you were cleaning, dust flew up Could happen to anyone.
Come on.
Let's talk about this.
No, it's okay.
I'm fine now.
Hi, all.
Or should I say, "back to you, westons"? Charley, you got the weatherman job.
Yep.
Life is random and meaningless.
Well, Charley, that's great.
Congratulations.
So, come on, what's the weather forecast for the weekend? Who knows? But I do predict that by sunrise, Tanya will be experiencing a warm front with partially scattered clothing.
Uh, oh, listen, that's Claire.
Charley, I think you should go.
- Oh, I want to meet her.
- Uh, I-i don't know.
Hey, if I do anything to embarrass you, you just give me the signal, and I'm out of here.
All right, okay.
- Hi, Claire.
- Hi, Harry.
Well, these are my daughters.
This is Carol and Barbara.
Hello.
And this is our next-door neighbor, Charley dietz.
Hi.
Hey, you look pretty good from this side.
Turn around.
Something I said, right? Well, it is a pleasure to meet both of you.
I've heard so much about you.
Oh, listen, you go on and talk.
I'm gonna let dreyfuss in.
Why don't you have a seat, Claire? Oh, I see somebody's been dusting.
Dreyfuss! Dreyf, look at How many times have I told you? Stay out of Mrs.
Patrick's garden.
Look at this.
One, two, three Six times I've told you that.
I know you feel bleak and hopeless right now, Carol.
But it's like I used to tell my daughter Suzanne, when you stop obsessing on it, these things tend to fall right back into place.
Excuse me, Claire, I think I think we should get going.
Oh, I wish we had more time to talk.
Well, it was lovely meeting both of you.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Have fun.
- Yeah, we shall.
- Thanks.
- Bye-bye.
So what do you think? She's cool.
Cool? Great.
No, thank you for that in-depth analysis.
You know, you really give new meaning to the word "shallow.
" Oh, yeah? Look, Carol Dust! Oh, Harry, your daughters are just wonderful.
They are.
And it felt so good being a mother again Helping Carol with her problems.
That must be hard for you Relating to girls, with so little time and being as busy as you are.
Claire, we have to talk.
Well, sure, Harry.
Claire, you are a terrific lady who would take good care of me.
Oh, thank you, Harry.
But I don't like being taken care of anymore.
Hi, daddy.
Did you have fun with Claire? Well, I'm afraid I won't be seeing Claire anymore.
- Why not? What happened? - Ah, it's a funny thing.
You know, she took such good care of me, the way your mom used to, but what I hadn't realized is that in the years since your mom died, I've changed.
I don't want a woman to mother me anymore.
I kind of like taking care of myself.
Does that sound strange? No, that doesn't sound strange.
It sounds like you've grown.
Maybe so.
All I know is, I like ordering whatever I want at a restaurant.
I like picking out my own clothes.
I like wearing my hankie with one point.
But most of all, I like finally being a real father to my kids.
I mean, you know, when you were little, you had problems, you went to your mom, because she was so good at it, and I was so wrapped up in my practice.
But after your mom passed away, I-i had the feeling that I'd been given a second chance to be dad.
And that's become the most important, meaningful thing in my life.
And maybe it's selfish, but I don't want to share that with anybody right now.
- Oh, daddy.
- Oh.
- I love you, daddy.
- Mm.
Thank you, ladies.
Good morning, Laverne.
Oh, you and Claire broke up.
Laverne! Carol told me the whole story.
- Oh, all right.
- You want to talk about it? Ah, you know what bothers me? The thing that turned me off about Claire was a big part of what I loved in Libby.
So I wonder, if I were to meet Libby today, would I still fall in love with her? Well, you know me so well, Laverne.
Come on, tell me.
What do you think? What do I look like, a mind reader? Fine.
Hello, Dr.
Weston.
- Nurse Todd.
- Hi, Jeffrey.
Hello, Jeffrey.
More problems at school? No, I'm happy to report that you were right, Dr.
Weston.
I've come to like public school.
Well, I'm so glad to hear that.
What happened? Well, I found this wonderful organization called the audio-visual club, where I finally found some kindred spirits.
Come on in.
Oh! Hi.
How do you do, Dr.
Weston? We've heard a lot about you, though Jeffrey failed to mention your rugged good looks.
Lay off.
She's mine.
- Good-bye, Dr.
Weston.
Thanks.
- Bye.
Bye.
Ah.
What is this for? Daddy, quick.
Charley's about to make his big TV debut.
And now for the weather, we welcome a new addition to the channel 58 news team, Charley dietz.
Charles Thank you, Bob.
Well, it was another beautiful day here in the Miami area Sunny and humid, with a high of 72 dietz-grees.
Not so lucky were the folks in the pacific northwest, where there was a freak hailstorm which produced hailstones the size of Well, Tanya's breasts.
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