Empty Nest (1988) s03e01 Episode Script

Life goes on and so do we Just how we do it is no mystery One by one we fill the days We find a thousand different ways Sometimes the answer can be hard to find That's something I will never be I'm always here for anything that you need Rain or shine I'll be the one To share it all as life goes on We share it all as life goes on let's get a move on in there! You gotta be at that lecture in five minutes! Laverne, this is a doctor's office, and our first priority here is the care of our patients.
Okay, doc, trade you two fernandos for your Nolan Ryan.
Get out! No way! Excuse me.
I was wondering if you could help me.
I'm looking for the auditorium.
Oh, my lord.
Dr.
Lydia gant.
- Why, yes.
- Harvard, medical school, class of '70, world-renowned neurosurgeon and pioneer of a breakthrough procedure for treatment of the pituitary adenomas and subject of a recent life magazine article on women in science.
Uh, Laverne Todd, real folksy nurse.
Well, it's nice to meet you.
I was hoping you could oh, it is a pleasure to meet you.
I mean, I look at you and I feel proud to work alongside those who dedicate their lives to the art of healin'.
Laverne, look.
Two Joe cansecos! So if you hear of any jobs Hello, there.
I'm Dr.
Harry Weston.
Dr.
Lydia gant.
You're Dr.
gant? Yes, and I'm sorry I've interrupted you.
I'm looking for directions to the auditorium.
I'm supposed to be speaking there.
I'm supposed to be listening there.
Uh, would you settle for a personal escort? Look out.
Somebody took their charm pills this morning.
- I'll be very grateful.
- All right, then.
Perhaps we could discuss dinner? - Perhaps we could.
- Okay.
Forgive me, for not recognizing you, but I had no idea you were so lovely.
It's the other way, doctor.
I knew that! Hi, Barbara.
Wanna have sex? Nope.
Then, can I have a sandwich? Okay.
- Anyone called for me? - Carol, would you get over it? It's been two weeks.
He's not gonna call.
Well, it's probably tough to dial when you're in a straightjacket.
So who is he? Somebody she met on a plane.
He asked her for her number and promised to call.
God, I just hate men.
So? Big deal.
Men hate you.
I'm not even going to dignify that remark with a response Stupid moron.
It's not fair.
I didn't ask him to change seats so he could sit next to me, to flirt with me for the entire trip, to ask me for my phone number so we could go out that weekend.
He gave me his fruit cup, for god's sake.
I don't see the problem here.
He asked you out, he gave you food.
That's better than you usually do.
I don't know why this makes me so angry.
I guess by now I should be used to men not calling when they say they will.
Well, fine.
Who cares? I don't care.
Yes, I do.
I want revenge.
- Oh, Carol, one guy who - One guy? It's not one guy, Barbara.
I want revenge for the last 15 years.
I want somebody to pay for all the times I've been stood up; All the calls that never came; All the tears I've wept is it me? Hey, hey, hey, Carol.
You shouldn't waste your time crying over something like that.
I mean, what the hell else could it be? Barbara Barbara, you're a detective.
Help me find this guy so I can tell him off.
Together we'll strike a symbolic blow for women everywhere.
Are you with me? I'd like to be, Carol.
But nobody's ever stood me up.
All right.
Forget that.
Remember that guy who dumped me and I got so upset I wrecked your car? Oh, yeah.
And I liked that car.
Then damn it, let's get him.
- Okay! - All right! Men stink! Let's get him.
What? We had a kind of team thing going, I thought we might all end up in the showers.
Cheese it.
It's one of them.
Girls, Charley, what's going on? Nothing, daddy.
How was your day? Actually, it was great.
I have met the most incredible woman.
Her name is Lydia gant.
Dr.
Lydia gant? - You've heard of her? - Sure.
She was on that news show.
You know, the one with Mickey Rooney.
That's Andy Rooney.
Hey, who cares? He's like so far over the hill now, he can't even dance anymore.
- Is this Lydia famous? - Are you dating her, daddy? No way, she's a big deal that lady.
Nobody wants to date a woman like that.
I do.
I'm very proud to be dating Lydia.
Matter of fact, we're having dinner again.
Monday night.
Men.
Boy, it's really crowded here tonight.
Well, I know the owner.
There shouldn't be any problem.
Monsieur Gerard.
Doctor Weston.
- Table for two.
- Not a chance.
Gerard, now, I usually never ask you for favors.
This lady, you are her escort? Uh, yeah.
But this is Dr.
Lydia gant.
Let me see what I can do.
Albert, show these people to table seven.
Well, a little bit better, huh? You'll love table seven.
It overlooks Table six.
Oh, Harry, this is just beautiful.
Ah, I'm glad you like it.
Now When last we left off, you were about to tell me no.
I've decided we are going to spend this evening learning about you.
I wanna know all about your family and your practice.
Excuse me, doctor.
I hate to interrupt.
There is a phone call.
Ah.
Sure.
Ah, I'm a doctor, too.
Arthur, just tell the judge that what his son is experiencing is perfectly normal and if there's a problem, I'll be right here.
I'm sorry.
Where were we? I think we were about to talk about me.
Excuse me, Dr.
Weston.
There is a call for you.
You may take it on this line.
Oh, there you go.
A doctor's life, hey, Lydia? Ha, ha Yes.
Dr.
Weston.
I see.
I see.
Put her on, please.
Carol, give your sister back her skirt right now.
No, I know.
"Now" I said.
No more.
Enough! We'll talk about this when I get home.
Life of a father, huh, Harry? It's always tough with teenagers.
Dr.
gant, the hospital called.
They said it is an emergency.
Tell them I'll be right there.
Harry, I'm so sorry.
It's all right, dear.
There's nothing to be sorry about.
All right.
It's just I don't imagine you normally go out with women who have to run off to perform brain surgery.
I know, powder a nose, drill a hole in a cranium.
People have stuff to do.
Thank you for understanding.
Sure.
Night.
That is quite a lady.
Yes, yes, yes, she is.
Mm-hmm.
It must be quite an honor for you dating someone like her.
Well, yeah, it's Of course, it's might be quite a honor for her to be dating someone like me.
Did that ever occur to you? Frankly, no.
- Good morning, Laverne.
- Oh, am I glad to see you! You are? Well, that's a very nice change because usually okay, let's cut the chitchat.
I wanna hear all about Dr.
gant.
Will you excuse me, please? - Hello, Laverne.
- Oh, hello, Dr.
gant.
Nice to see you.
Is Dr.
Weston in? Oh, he-he's just givin' a booster shot in there, it should only take a second.
Um, if you'll excuse me, I have to do something, uh, essential, terribly uninteresting when compared with the lofty nature of your important work.
Bye-bye, now.
Bye-bye.
- Now Two points.
- All right, Dr.
Weston.
Oh, ha, ha, Lydia, what a surprise.
I i just came by to apologize again about last night.
That's really not necessary.
Whoa! Well, between the phone calls and having to leave early, I'm really feeling like I wanna make this up to you.
Oh, come on.
Don't be silly.
You missed.
Ha Try it again.
Harry, uh, there's a dinner party I have to go to on Saturday night, and I thought you might like to join me.
They're giving me an award.
Oh, good.
That's quite an honor.
Missed again.
- Bye, Dr.
Weston.
- Sure.
It's a lifetime achievement award from the neurological society.
Air ball! Ha ha! Sorry.
Oh, doctor, excuse me.
I hate to interrupt.
But Dr.
gant is wanted in surgery, and you have a boo-boo in room two.
Boo-boo.
Ha.
Boo-boo? Ha.
Laverne, Lydia is a doctor.
We don't have to use the code in front of her.
We do.
We have a code around here so as not to Frighten the children.
Ah, uh, boo-boo, uh Usually is very Is, you know, serious Medical thing.
Yeah, well, I have him blowin' on it right now.
Well, I should let you go.
Are we on for Saturday? Ah, I Can I get back to you on that? - Sure.
Just let me know.
- Okay.
- Dr.
gant, hold it.
- Oh.
Ha ha.
Oh, darn, you're gonna be in it, too.
Carol, I did some detective work and I dug up some information on that guy who didn't call you who represents every guy.
What? What did you find out? Nothing much.
Just an address and a phone number.
Oh, you got his phone number? Both: Yes! My sister, the detective, will get this louse over here and tell him off good.
It's ringing.
How are you gonna get 'im to come over here? Oh, yeah.
Ah Hi Is this John Taylor from the plane? I mean, this is palm east airlines, the-plane-you-flew-on company? Um Well, congratulations, Mr.
Taylor.
You've won a lovely prize for being palm east airlines' millionth customer, and we'd like you to come pick it up.
Deliver it? No, we can't deliver it because, you see You've won A house! Can you believe it? A house, Mr.
Taylor.
You lucky duck.
Well, how's tomorrow at 3:00? Fine, it's 1755 Fairview road.
We'll see you then.
Hi, girls.
It's weird, but it beats the bickering.
How was your day, daddy? Oh, yes.
Girls, I wanna ask you something.
Do you think of your father as a modern man? I'm gonna take that for a yes.
What's the problem, daddy? Ah It's my relationship with Lydia.
I thought I'd be okay dating a woman who's more successful than I am.
Now I find myself kind of avoiding her.
When I'm not doing that, I'm competing with her.
You should've seen me today.
I made a complete fool of myself shooting baskets.
I did go four for four and she went pfft Oh for three.
The thing is I am used to a woman who needs me to provide for her and care for her.
Lydia doesn't seem to need anything.
Well, daddy, it doesn't sound like this is gonna work out.
Ah, I guess not.
Tomorrow I'm gonna have to tell her.
Please observe that Dr.
gant has turned the frontal bone flap and successfully exposed the pituitary adenoma.
- Excuse me, doctor.
- Ah, Harry.
This is Dr.
Harry Weston.
Uh, how much longer is Dr.
gant gonna be in surgery? I need to talk with her.
Oh, she'll be just a few minutes more.
Dr.
Weston has been dating Dr.
gant.
Not anymore.
Well, don't write that down.
I haven't told her yet.
Look, go on with what you're doing.
I'll just sit over here.
Now we come to the critical part of the operation.
In the past, the greatest danger has been the risk of injury to the optic nerve, but since Dr.
gant developed the forceps you now see her using, the likelihood of such injury has been greatly reduced.
Oh, you're here, too.
Darn, I missed her turnin' the frontal bone flap.
Laverne, what the hell is the matter with me? Lord, I wasn't expectin' that question.
Could you give me a minute to go back to the office, get my list? I mean, this is what threatens me? This? Look at her.
Look at that woman.
This is truly a great woman, and I Am truly a petty man.
Petty.
Yeah, petty's on the list.
I don't wanna be like that.
I wanna be the kind of man who can be with a woman like her.
I mean, I can try, can't I? At least At least I wanna try.
Dr.
gant has successfully removed the adenoma.
The patient now stands an excellent chance of regaining his sight.
By the way I am dating her.
Okay.
It's 3:00.
He should be here any minute.
Barbara, I want you to know that I couldn't have done this without you.
Together we are righting a wrong that happens to millions of women everyday.
I feel that we are truly sisters in the universal sense of the word.
What a nut.
Who is it? - John Taylor.
- He's here! He's here.
Don't you wanna do our little dance? No, I'm sick of it.
All right, but wait before you open the door.
I wanna make an entrance.
Hi, is this 1755 Fairview road? Yes, it is.
Hello, John Taylor.
Remember me? Ah, no.
You don't? Well, of course you don't.
Because you're a selfish, callous, unfeeling excuse for a human being.
Mom? No.
I happen to be the poor trusting soul you hustled on the airplane.
Do you think I had nothing better to do than to sit by the phone for the last two weeks waiting for you to call? Well, let me tell you something, buddy boy.
On behalf of women everywhere, we feel rejected when you don't call.
We spend days thinking, "maybe he lost my number.
" Only to find Were your shoulders that broad on the plane? Only to find that you had no intention of following through.
That we've pinned our hopes and our dreams on what was for you merely a momentary exercise of your damned macho male ego.
So does this mean I didn't win the house? - No, you can have the house.
- Carol! Barbara, I'm sorry.
I can't help it.
He's so cute.
Give 'im something else.
We need the house.
No, John.
You're right.
You didn't win the house.
That's right.
This is a sting.
And we've brought you here so, for once, someone could hold you men accountable for what you do.
Well, I think you're right.
- You do? - Yeah, I do.
And, um I'd like to make it up to you.
Not just for myself but on behalf of all men.
Say Dinner tonight? Tonight? I'll pick you up around 7:00.
And that's a promise.
Oh! All right.
See you then.
Drive carefully.
Hmm.
What was that? What happened to getting even for women everywhere? What happened to the universal sisterhood? Hey, you got to keep the house.
And I got an apology.
And I got a date! Ah! Ha ha! Oh, my god, I can't believe it! He's taking me out to dinner.
Barbara I'm really kind of feeling like doing our little dance now.
All right.
But this is the last time.
No, no, monsieur Gerard, I asked Dr.
Weston to dinner.
This one's mine.
And you are good with that? Fine.
Well, Lydia, dear, thank you so much for dinner.
And now I have a little surprise for you.
Don't worry.
It's not a ring.
Harry, there is really no need for this.
Open it.
Thank you.
It's lovely.
You don't have one, do you? Actually, it's kind of symbolic.
To be honest, Lydia, I-i-you know, I've been finding out how old-fashioned I really am.
You see, in a relationship, I always expected to be the one who made the money and got the recognition.
Things just aren't like that with you.
And that's been bothering me a lot.
But the good part is I've decided I can work through it.
Harry, don't be so hard on yourself.
We both grew up in an era where men were supposed to be more successful than women.
That's true.
That's true.
We're very much alike.
We are.
Apparently, the only difference is you can change.
I can't.
What? Harry, I need to be with a man who is more successful than I am.
What? What? That's why I invited you to dinner.
I've been wanting to tell you this.
I just didn't know how to say it.
I think the "you're not successful enough" thing's is pretty clear.
Harry, I am sorry.
I wish I were as liberated as you are.
It's just in my position it's very hard to feel feminine.
To feel that, I need to be with a man who is more successful.
What? You get $5 every time you say that? I guess it's best if I go.
I am sorry.
Okay.
Is everything all right? Ah, yeah, Dr.
gant had to, um Leave.
Ah.
Uh-huh.
I understand, Dr.
Weston.
You know, Gerard, in a way I pity Dr.
gant.
Hmm.
As brilliant as she is, she's unable to grow.
And what's even sadder I'm about to order a pound of your most expensive caviar and put it on her account.
And you are good with that? Oh, yeah.