ER s11e14 Episode Script
Just As I Am
E.
R.
Previously on E.
R.
- Who's that? - Med student.
Why didn't you say anything? No one listens to me.
No one even remembers I was in the room.
I've been ordering my own scans since I've been here.
What's that about? - It's about me making the rules.
- Oh, come on.
That's stupid.
Congratulations, Jake.
Your ER rotation is officially over.
E.
R.
11x14 "JUST AS I AM" Good evening.
Can I help you? - Room 415? - End of the hall.
Helen? Helen, it's Kerry.
I don't wanna leave it like this.
The things that we said.
Is this how you wanna leave it? If it is, tell me and I'll go away like we never even met.
I heard it was supposed to be sunny and warmer today.
I heard partly cloudy and chance of rain.
Winter.
Do you know that most snowflakes are less than half an inch? - I didn't know- - Know why they're white? The complex structure of snow crystals results in countless tiny surfaces from which visible light is efficiently reflected.
The little sunlight that's absorbed, is absorbed uniformly over visible wavelengths, thus giving snow its white appearance.
What's wrong with you? Alex had a school report.
Luka and I got kind of into it.
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Excuse me.
Do you know how much longer I'll have to wait? - That's nasty.
- Another skater ripped into me.
- This morning? - Skating club.
- We only get the ice from 5:30 to 7:00.
- We'll get you checked in - in a couple minutes, okay? - Thanks.
Winter.
So it's already an every night kind of thing? Since he started his surgical rotation.
Dubenko's working him hard - and my place is closer to the hospital.
- So sleeping over is a convenience.
No, we do like each other.
And do you know his real name isn't Jake? It's George.
It's actually kind of a funny story.
It's not "funny" funny.
But- Sorry.
Tibial plateau fracture.
Ortho's taking him to the O.
R.
Make sure he's NPO.
- Got it.
- Cellulitis following cat bite.
- Admit to Medicine.
- Already did.
- Antibiotics? - Three grams of Unasyn.
DKA on an insulin drip.
Going up to the ICU.
- Last glucose? - Five-thirty-four.
And they just brought back a 60-year-old lady.
Pick's disease with agitation.
I'm officially out of here.
- Thank you, Luka.
- Hasta la vista, suckers.
Ray, when you get home, take the back stairs.
The front ones are frozen.
You didn't shovel? You're kidding, right? Oh, and the kitchen window - I couldn't get it to close all the way.
- Meaning? Meaning there's snow in the kitchen.
Bit of a buildup.
Might wanna turn the oven on and keep the door open.
- So it'll melt.
- It's just a suggestion.
She used to be my roommate.
Let's get back to medicine.
Atypical chest pain - waiting on a second troponin.
- Got it.
How come Weaver's on? - How come Weaver's on? - She does two shifts a month to keep up her skills and stay in touch with the department's needs.
- Our lucky day.
- Ice skater bleeding in the waiting area.
Frank, let's get her a wheelchair.
Okay.
Someone might wanna grab the trauma at the back door.
Carter, take Neela with you on that chest pain.
Susan, fifty-something woman, dyspnea, Curtain 4.
Abby, Jane, you're with me.
It must be awkward for Dr.
Lewis being chief while having Dr.
Weaver back.
Are you kidding? Weaver comes in, takes charge, runs all the cases.
Lewis loves it.
It's like having a day off.
Not so, however, for the rest of us.
Altercation at someone's all-night turned-out-badly birthday party.
Good morning, Dr.
Pratt.
Half inch of snow, traffic grinds to a halt.
Multiple stabs to the back with a screwdriver.
- You think he dropped a lung? - Probably not.
Sats are 100.
Abby and I got this.
There's a woman with Pick's disease.
Why don't you grab that.
And take Jane with you.
It's a good teaching case.
I'm sure Jane has seen her share - of combative patients with dementia.
- Not with you as her teacher, right? Start by reviewing the key elements of the history, physical, genetics - differences from Alzheimer's.
- Okay, okay.
We're on it.
If it's any consolation, I'm a blank slate when it comes to Pick's disease.
I know we studied it maybe first year.
No, I think it was second year.
No, it was first year.
What did she say about Alzheimer's? Man, talk about your short-term memory loss.
- Lousy son of a- You stupid fat piece- - Nice language.
- Equal breath sounds.
- Pulse ox, 98.
- First HemoCue? - Thirteen-point-eight.
Okay.
Let's roll him.
We're gonna roll you onto your side, sir.
No head injury.
Guess he's sleeping it off.
- Regular or Phillips head? - What? - Stabbed with a screwdriver, right? - Yes.
At least 20 wounds.
All superficial.
I'd say regular.
- SonoSite.
- Mr.
Scanlon, what is Hamman's sign? A crunching sound heard with pneumomediastinum.
Listen for it.
- X-ray's back.
- What's the normal intrapleural pressure? It's negative- Negative 10 to 12 millimeters of mercury.
And what's intra-alveolar pressure? - Fluctuates.
- Minus three with inspiration plus three with expiration.
How does this guy end up with a pneumothorax? Penetrating trauma allows air to enter the pleural space, raising the pressure - collapsing the alveoli.
- Well done, Mr.
Scanlon.
- Fantastic.
- BP, 124/82.
- Let's get him a floor bed.
- He needs the ICU.
- He's stable.
- He's Swiss cheese, needs observation.
- He'll never get an ICU bed.
- He doesn't need one.
No pneumo, crit and vitals are stable, no blood in the pericardium or Morrison's.
Could be an occult solid-organ injury, or delayed- You gonna bludgeon us with the differential? - Occasionally I can be thorough.
- How about a Tele admit? - Maybe after four hours.
- Four hours? Kerry, that lady with dyspnea Sharon Williams, she's asking for you.
- Says you were her doc.
- Okay.
This Swiss cheese is stable.
Let's get him admitted to a med-surg bed.
And don't listen to any of Dr.
Dubenko's suggestions.
- So, Dr.
Lewis - Don't start.
Oh, okay.
No problem.
We humble surgical servants shall leave this in your capable hands.
Jake, do not move Mr.
Screwdriver without a Foley, an NG, three crits - and a four-hour chest film.
- All right.
Okay.
Oh, and suture all the lacs.
- All 20 of them? - Oh, yeah.
Sharon Williams, BP, 124/70.
Pulse ox, 90.
No history of asthma or emphysema.
Thanks, Haleh.
Sharon Williams? You're Dr.
Weaver? Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course you're Dr.
Weaver.
- You were in months before? - Yes.
- And when was that? - Oh, God, let me think.
I don't know.
I can't quite remember.
You know, I'm actually feeling much better now.
- I probably didn't need to come in.
- Well, as long as you did.
I don't- This whole thing is silly.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I'm much better.
I'm breathing fine.
Why don't you let me examine you and we'll make sure of that.
Okay.
You said you experienced shortness of breath? - Yes.
- Any cough or fever? No.
Have you had any prolonged periods of immobilization, like a plane or a car trip? No.
Lungs sound good.
Oxygen level is fine.
We'll check a few tests and see what's going on.
Haleh, EKG, PA and lateral chest, D-dimer.
- Sure.
- And I'll be back to check on you later.
- Dr.
Weaver? - Yeah? Is there something you need? No, no- Well, yes.
It's not really important.
What's not important? Well, I was wondering.
The doc- Daughter of a friend of mine is thinking about medical school.
Do you like what you do? - Very much.
- Did you always wanna be a doctor? From when I was a little girl.
So you were lucky then, weren't you? Getting the opportunity to do it.
Miss Williams, is everything all right? Oh, I'm fine, Kerry, really.
Thank you.
I don't wanna take up any more of your time.
Okay, then.
Sharon Williams.
Let's flip her records from the last time she was in.
Sure.
Can you wiggle your fingers? Can you wiggle your fingers? - Why don't you just give it a try for me.
- Why don't you just give it a try for me.
Charlotte, the dinner party.
The dinner party.
They're gonna be here early.
- It's okay, Mom.
- What will we do? It's okay.
Mom, it's okay.
This morning, I hear her crashing around in the kitchen.
You got a bathroom around here? - Chuny? - Mrs.
Devon, you can come with me.
You can come with me.
You can come with me.
There is no dinner party.
She was in the kitchen.
Thought she was cutting chicken.
She was cutting her own hand.
We'll take care of that.
When did her symptoms start? Two years ago.
She was only 58.
We've been able to keep her at home.
But now I've got three kids.
What am I supposed to do? - Labs back yet on that syncope? - No.
Still waiting.
Call them again and ask nicely.
Nicely? We're never "nicely.
" Pratt, Pick's disease? Jane? Similarities with Alzheimer's but earlier age of onset and faster progression of symptoms.
Mainly causes damage to the frontal lobes of the brain resulting in disinhibition.
The patient can be extremely rude, which we've seen.
And then can become extremely loving, which we have not seen.
Often has a tendency to repeat statements spoken to them.
- I'd actually say it's more than often- - Thank you, Jane.
Good job.
Good job.
Yes, and let me see, was that Dr.
Pratt's extremely efficient teaching? Or was it - eMedicine? - She learned about it, didn't she? She learned the facts, not necessarily how to handle the patients or the family.
She will.
The woman's got lacerations.
- We'll suture once the Ativan kicks in.
- Dr.
Pratt- - And the family? - Daughter's lining up a nursing facility.
- You should help with that.
- Isn't that a social worker thing? Just dive in, see what you can do.
Hey, Sam, did that screwdriver-stabbing guy get sent upstairs yet? Dr.
Dubenko wanted a few things taken care of first.
In what possible universe would I say the words, "Let's polka"? In your sleep, two nights ago.
I'm not making this up.
- You don't think I was surprised? - I don't talk in my sleep.
- How do you know? - Even if I did, I wouldn't say "polka.
" I wouldn't even say "dance.
" I don't dance.
Maybe once when I was a kid I did the limbo.
Yeah, maybe it was the limbo.
See, and you were making it up.
I'm sorry.
Dr.
Lockhart.
Mr.
Scanlon.
- Dr.
Weaver.
- Kerry.
I'm mixing up some Ancef.
I'm just gathering up supplies I thought you were gathering up a med-surg bed for the guy with the holes in his back.
I'd like very much to do that.
Dr.
Weaver, that patient, Sharon Williams there's no record of her being here before.
I asked her about it and she got pretty nervous.
Wants to leave AMA.
- Now? - Yeah.
- Gathering supplies? - Yeah, I know.
Okay? I know.
Excuse me.
That woman who was here, did you see her leave? Yeah, just now.
Kind of bolted.
Do you want me to try and catch her? Miss Williams, please wait.
Your test results aren't back yet.
- I don't need them.
- Shouldn't be much longer.
- I don't need them.
- You could have a blood clot - in the lung or fluid around your heart- - Stop, please.
I don't have any of those things.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I don't understand.
I've never been to this hospital before.
My name's not Sharon Williams.
It's Helen Kingsley.
I'm your mother.
- Did you say Kovac? - His wanting Saturday off is a problem.
Well, however you want to handle it.
Kerry, they can take Sharon Williams for a chest x-ray now.
That won't be necessary.
You can cancel her labs too.
- Cancel all of it? - Yeah.
- Kerry, about earlier- - Could you follow up this migraine in 2? I know the screwdriver guy should be upstairs- - Don't worry about it.
- Dubenko wanted serial crits.
- UA showed 10 red cells.
- We need to work that up? - Probably just from the Foley.
- So he doesn't need a CT? - Frank, I'm gonna take a break.
- What? Break? They say it isn't good for your arteries.
But I guess you'd know about that.
- But I like it anyway.
- How did you find me? The letter you sent.
Well, that was four years ago.
Why all the pretense? - Why didn't you just write back? - I wanted to see you first.
That poor little ice-skater girl.
- Her leg looked awful.
- She's young.
She'll heal.
What you do is so important.
I guess I was scared.
I'm here in Chicago for a week, so - You're still in Indiana? - Terre Haute.
That's next door.
You could have come to Chicago a hundred times.
I'm sorry.
I looked for you.
I hired an investigator.
I finally found the right address.
You knew where I was and still you waited so long? I can't explain it.
I know it wasn't fair.
- I'm truly, truly sorry.
- Oh, please- Please, don't go yet.
So have you always lived in Indiana? South Carolina, originally.
I'm here in Chicago with my choir.
Your choir? There's a Christ Crusade and we were chosen to sing in the Festival Chorus.
That- That sounds like quite an honor.
When's the concert? Tomorrow afternoon, Community Baptist on Dearborn.
As a matter of fact, they're gonna be looking for me.
I got a rehearsal.
I'd like to talk to you again, Kerry - if you want to, that is.
- Yeah, I would.
- So I can call you after I'm done? - You have the number of the hospital? - No.
- Just wait one second.
There's a separate number for the ER.
Here you go.
There you are.
- So you'll call? - A couple hours.
Great.
- Pressure's only 72 palp.
- Left pupil is 6 mm and sluggish.
- Hang 80 of mannitol.
- Multiple rib fractures with sub-q air.
- Glove up for a chest tube.
- Our drunk vs.
screwdriver is having some more trouble? - This isn't the screwdriver guy.
- I heard he was still down here so naturally I assumed there was some emergent situation.
No.
This would be motorcycle vs.
tree guy.
- Blunt head, chest.
- Looks like a fractured spleen.
Mr.
Scanlon, your patient's bleeding in the head and belly.
What's your plan? Quick head CT before going to the O.
R.
for an ex-lap.
Good call, if you want him to bleed out in the scanner.
Betadine and Steri-Drape.
What's Monroe-Kellie hypothesis? - I don't know.
- Abby? I don't know.
CPP equals M.
A.
P.
minus ICP.
Cerebral perfusion pressure equals mean arterial pressure minus intracranial pressure.
- Spleen's a bigger threat to the M.
A.
P.
- Two units is on the infuser.
- Guide wire's ready.
- Stop what you're doing.
Have you even read about this procedure? I supervised Jake putting in a chest tube last week.
Good.
I'm sure you told him you always insert a finger and feel lung tissue before Before inserting the tube.
Why is that, Mr.
Scanlon? First, break up any adhesions.
Second, if there's a diaphragmatic injury you could be in the abdominal cavity.
Chest tubes don't work well in the stomach.
Line is primed.
Kerry, I think we can take this from here.
Yes, I'm sure you can.
That was fun.
Would you like to tell me why she's so pissed off at the two of you? Man, and I thought I knew how to pimp.
When did your neck pain start? Came from Cleveland yesterday to help my brother move.
I was lifting a chair.
She had a MRI last year.
Three slipped discs in her neck.
- Any neural findings? - Motor and sensory intact.
The pain goes down into her arm, don't forget.
- Some morphine? - Makes me sick to my stomach.
Demerol's the only thing that works when she gets like this.
We could try Toradol.
- Allergic.
- Demerol.
Okay.
We will be right back.
Neck pain with radiculopathy consistent with herniated disc syndrome.
Allergic to Toradol? - May as well say she's a Demerol addict.
- There's no objective test for pain.
- Shouldn't we believe her? - Give her the Demerol and get her out.
See what I mean? She's on every case.
Looks good.
Did Dr.
Pratt show the two-layer repair? Where is Dr.
Pratt? I think he's looking for supplies.
Looking for supplies.
Didn't she have her daughter with her? That's where he is.
He's- He's with the daughter.
He's helping her locate a skilled nursing facility.
CVP is 10, M.
A.
P.
is 80, and we're transfusing to an SCV O2 of 70.
- Once the crit is 30, consider dopamine.
- Dr.
Pratt, is there a good reason why - you left your student unsupervised? - Other patients.
I've got a 75-year-old man with urosepsis a woman in pulmonary edema and a kid with anaphylaxis from a peanut allergy.
And my student should be supervised by an intern.
Except that I asked you to do it.
- You gotta stay on these Residents.
- Dr.
Pratt isn't the problem.
You know that break you took? You may wanna take another one.
- Frank, have I gotten any calls? - Nope.
- You've been here the whole time? - Yep.
I'm going out.
Carter, would you take over this bowel obstruction in 4 retinoschisis in 2, Mr.
Langstaff with pyelo, waiting on an admit to Medicine a 72-year-old female with nausea.
And I need an LP on the fever in 6.
You're signing in a spinal tap? So much for every case.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks.
Bye.
Has it already been two hours? I just thought I'd catch some of the rehearsal.
It was beautiful.
It stopped snowing.
I gotta get my coat.
A lot of people brought their families.
I have two children.
Two other children.
Carl's 26.
He does something with the county court system that I don't understand.
And Laurie's a year out of college, free spirit bouncing around.
And I'm divorced.
I always had this image of you living somewhere with this happily-ever-after family.
Ending the marriage was more difficult than I imagined.
The Church saved me, gave me back my life.
Except for the part of my life that's taken up with my business.
I own an auto-parts store.
- That's unusual.
- I know, nobody can quite believe it but it was part of the divorce settlement.
Thank you.
- Why do you need it? - You don't know? Congenital hip dysplasia.
In common parlance, it's a birth defect.
- Birth defect? - Yes.
- Something I gave you? - Well, there's really no way to know.
It's not that clear-cut.
Helen? I was thinking about what you said about how I could have been in Chicago a hundred times, why this time? I think it's because I just recently got the news that your daddy died.
His name was Cody Boone.
He should have been a character in some old western TV show.
We were 15- Well, I was almost 15.
And that was in South Carolina? Myrtle Beach.
My daddy had a miniature-golf course.
Cody worked there after school.
So what happened? Nothing fancy.
I got pregnant.
All the parents pitched a fit.
Rightfully so.
- And abortion wasn't legal.
- Oh, I never would have done that.
Back then they had these homes for girls in my condition.
There was one up in Indiana where my aunt lived so they sent me up there.
That's where you were born.
Did you ever want to keep me? Oh, of course.
Cody and I had a whole plan.
He was gonna quit school, get work.
There was a room over his parents' garage where we could live.
But in the end, you're 14, 15, you got no money so I came to believe that the best thing for you would be to be with people who could care for you and do things for you.
- It was true, right? - I don't know.
- What I mean is- - I know what you mean.
I had two loving parents.
I was happy.
But even with that, it somehow always felt like rejection.
Does that make sense? They took you so fast.
I never held you.
Never even saw you.
And nobody ever told me anything about the birth defect.
When I was a little girl, I used to wonder if that's why I was given away.
Not quite perfect.
All Jesus' children are perfect.
And my father, Cody, he didn't go with you? - I never saw him again.
- Ever? But when you heard he died? Kind of pushed a button, huh? I guess I'd always thought about him over the years although not as much as I thought about you.
That would be work.
She's concerned.
So am I.
I understand, Mr.
Bulowski.
- The pain is still in her neck.
- And still in my arm.
- I understand that too.
- I thought that you were going to help.
- Dr.
Rasgotra.
- Excuse me.
She complained that she was still in pain.
You explained to her that she already had her Demerol? - So she suckered you for a second shot.
- One could look at it that way.
- Jerry, I'm back.
- I didn't even know you'd been gone.
Don't take this the wrong way, when I said to take a break I didn't mean literally.
- I didn't think I'd be gone long.
- We're getting slammed.
Morris is out sick.
We're boarding 10 ICU patients.
We've got charts in the rack for four hours, 12 patients on the board - and we're 50 behind in triage.
- You're back? - Yes.
- Are you going out again? - Yes.
- Yes? I irrigated the obnoxious bald guy.
- Got him moved into Trauma 2.
- I can take that.
Okay, thank you.
- Kerry.
- I was looking for some obnoxious guy - who needs suturing? - He was here, but- Yeah, we put him next door.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Do you work here? My head is throbbing, throbbing, throbbing.
No one will even give me an answer.
Mr.
Screwdriver, so nice to see you again.
Okay, Kerry.
I take full responsibility for this patient still being in the ER.
You don't think Dr.
Dubenko deserves just a soupçon of that? He ordered an NG, a Foley, three serial crits and a four-hour chest film.
- I hear everything, Mr.
Scanlon.
- She pretty much does.
So do we have some hope that this gentleman will be sent upstairs in, let's say, our lifetime? - Ten minutes.
- Thank you.
When you're done with him, do the guy next door.
Does she have multiple personalities? - You're not on, bro.
- No, Dr.
Morris has failed to be on and I was unceremoniously told to bring my ass back in here.
- Have you seen Neela or Carter? - No.
Dr.
Barnett, got your first case.
The well-fed, well-drugged Bulowskis in Curtain 2.
Review the chart and kick their asses out of here.
They're both good facilities.
Locked doors so patients can't wander and the nursing staffs are trained in handling dementia patients.
- Thank you so much.
- Jane.
Mrs.
Devon's daughter, the Pick disease.
I was just going over some of the facilities with her.
And Dr.
Pratt, is he even remotely involved with this patient anymore? Yeah.
We're swamped, you know? One of the docs is out so he's been busy, but he's involved, sort of.
Wound edges are everted nicely.
Excellent approximation.
Jane does good work.
- You waiting on a Unasyn piggyback? - Yeah, thanks.
Don't worry, I got this.
Okay.
Okay, I get it, Mrs.
Devon.
Please, do not play with the Kleenex box, all right? All right.
You know what? Winter.
You really are leaving, aren't you? You know that patient who was here this morning? Sharon Williams.
She wasn't really a patient.
Yeah? Do you remember when I was looking for my birth mother? - Oh, my God, you found her? - She found me.
Kerry, I'm so happy for you! Is it weird? It's a lot to take in, I mean there are certain things that she's told me and there are a lot of things I still have to tell her.
I gotta go.
I'm gonna go home and change and I'm gonna go have some dinner.
Don't worry about this place.
We'll be fine.
I'll try to stop by later.
Susan, thanks.
So you said you had pictures of some relatives? I want to hear about Africa.
Okay.
We lived there when I was little.
The adoption people said the family- Your family.
were involved in the Church.
- Were they actually missionaries? - More like wannabe missionaries.
My mom worked to set up new schools and my dad was a civil engineer.
He taught me how to build a canal, not that I've had much use for that.
Well, did you like living over there? I was different simply for being white.
No one seemed to even notice the crutch.
And then, my parents were older, their health wasn't so great so we moved back to Minneapolis when I was 12.
And they both passed away when I was in college.
So they never got to see you become a doctor? They would have been so proud of you.
I'm proud of you.
My biggest regret is that they never got to meet their grandson.
You have a family? My son.
Henry.
He's named after my dad.
There he is.
Oh, my heavens! What a little doll.
- He's 13 months.
- That's a handful.
Between him and a full-time job, no wonder you need a nanny.
Is your husband a doctor too? I'm alone now.
There was an accident.
Oh, my God, Kerry.
I'm so sorry.
- Was it recent? - Last year.
Oh, Kerry.
My dear Kerry.
We are tested.
But the Lord gives us strength.
I can only imagine how difficult this has been.
But you have to have faith.
Paul wrote in Romans 8: I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor rulers nor things present nor things to come can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
- Are you waiting? - What? Oh, no.
Go ahead.
This is my Uncle Jackson.
Loved stealing cars.
Just had a real passion for it.
Do you have any pictures of my father? Just one.
When I was away in Indiana, Cody drove all the way up to see me.
Didn't even have a license yet.
For the life of me, I don't know what we thought we had to smile about.
This is my family, Helen.
This woman's name is Sandy Lopez and she's not my nanny.
- She was my partner.
- Your partner? My lover, my wife, the mother of my child.
She was a firefighter and she died last year.
You're gay? Yes.
I wanted to tell you earlier but I was afraid.
My mom and dad died before I came to accept it so I never got a chance to tell them.
So they never knew you made this choice? It's not a choice.
It's who I am, who I was born as.
- Will you pray with me? - No.
No.
I am not gonna do this.
Kerry, please.
Kerry! I didn't mean to offend you.
- I was so glad to find you.
- And my being gay changes that? - This is who I am.
- It's wrong, Kerry.
- I knew this was a mistake.
- It's not what God created.
Why are people like you always saying things like that? Why are people like you so dismissive of people of faith? Because you have no faith that God knew what he was doing that God created me too.
God did create you and he loves you.
What is it about us that is so much more threatening than all the really terrible things in the world? - Don't dismiss me so easily.
- I mean, people are starving people are being shot at, men are flying planes into buildings yet the faithful are saying, "Watch out for those lesbians.
They're gonna destroy our God-gifted lives.
" Well, the world isn't perfect.
It's what we make it.
You just finished telling me how perfect it was.
That neither life, nor death, angels nor rulers can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I know the words, I was raised in the Church.
Then you know its healing mission.
Except that the welcome sign's not out for everyone, is it? - Do you hate all faith? - No.
No, of course not.
I hate that my own faith now excludes me tries to tell me I'm a sinner because of the people I love.
It's the people you've chosen to love.
I have made a choice, to stop living a lie about who I am.
I was alone in my soul.
Do you know what that feels like? My hotel is nearby.
I think I'll walk.
They won't budge.
I called Cleveland Memorial she goes there twice a week.
She's in their turkey files.
We're not gonna cure her habit today.
Just kick her out.
Weaver's gonna be pissed.
Watch and learn.
Mrs.
Bulowski I understand you're experiencing pain.
It's better, but I think one more shot would really do it.
- You've already had two.
- Hey.
Well, the problem is that when you use it regularly as I think that you do, it doesn't work as well and you can grow dependent on it.
Are you saying that my wife is some drug addict? - You don't know what real pain is.
- I'm not sure that's fair.
- What do you know? - Mr.
Bulowski.
You think it's fair that my wife has this kind of pain? You said you would bring her another shot.
- I'm not talking to you! - Jerry, call Security.
- You like stringing people along? That it? - You need to calm- Will you get the hell away from me! Come on! Get him off of me.
Beth! Come on! Where the hell are you? Beth! Beth! Get them off of me, Beth! Beth! Beth get- What the hell am I doing? I got her.
Who's winning? Neela was about to deck somebody with a bedpan.
I've always wanted to see that.
Hard to let go of a dream, isn't it, Jerry? - So are we under control? - Yeah, I'd say so.
- Thought you were gone for the day.
- Yeah, me too.
Charlotte? Charlotte? It's okay.
She's gonna be back, Mrs.
Devon.
- Hey, where's her daughter? - She had to pick up her kids.
- What's she doing? - Is the roast-? Is the roast going to be ready? Don't worry.
The roast is gonna be just fine.
She's folding napkins for her dinner party.
The literature says that you shouldn't play into this delusional thinking but I don't really get the point in this case, do you? - You got this? - I think so.
- Dr.
Weaver.
- What's going on with Picks disease? Found a bed for her tonight.
Her daughter managed a placement but they won't take her until tomorrow.
Hey, I just wanted you to know that I'm willing to have Jane assigned to me anytime.
I bet.
She's good.
Yeah, no kidding.
Hey, so did you hear? They're bringing in a fisherman versus horse.
- Versus horse? - Yeah, I know.
You'd think it'd be versus fish - but, you know, who am I-? - Go.
- Hey, Kerry.
- Hey.
Aren't you in a little early? An hour.
With Sam on days and me on nights just trying to steal a moment when I can.
- Good night.
- Thanks.
Good evening.
Can I help you? Helen? Helen.
They tell you the coffee's free, you just got to pay for the room, that's all.
You think about a day like this for a long time.
You play out every scenario in your head.
Except for this one.
- Is it because I gave you up? - No.
No, of course not.
Is it because I didn't come looking for you for so many years? You don't get to paint the whole picture yourself, Helen.
Feel guilty because you gave up a child and then get all warm and fuzzy because it turned out all right, she had a good family, became a doctor.
If you're disappointed, it should be with the limits of your faith not in the way that I've lived my life.
I gave birth to a child who I abandoned for all the right reasons, they told me.
But I thought about you.
And I came to realize that by giving you up I'd broken my own heart.
Faith is the only thing that gave me hope gave me courage.
I can't abandon it too.
Can you accept me for who I am? I can love you, whoever you are.
I don't want love without acceptance.
It was so good to finally meet you.
R.
Previously on E.
R.
- Who's that? - Med student.
Why didn't you say anything? No one listens to me.
No one even remembers I was in the room.
I've been ordering my own scans since I've been here.
What's that about? - It's about me making the rules.
- Oh, come on.
That's stupid.
Congratulations, Jake.
Your ER rotation is officially over.
E.
R.
11x14 "JUST AS I AM" Good evening.
Can I help you? - Room 415? - End of the hall.
Helen? Helen, it's Kerry.
I don't wanna leave it like this.
The things that we said.
Is this how you wanna leave it? If it is, tell me and I'll go away like we never even met.
I heard it was supposed to be sunny and warmer today.
I heard partly cloudy and chance of rain.
Winter.
Do you know that most snowflakes are less than half an inch? - I didn't know- - Know why they're white? The complex structure of snow crystals results in countless tiny surfaces from which visible light is efficiently reflected.
The little sunlight that's absorbed, is absorbed uniformly over visible wavelengths, thus giving snow its white appearance.
What's wrong with you? Alex had a school report.
Luka and I got kind of into it.
- Yeah, I guess so.
- Excuse me.
Do you know how much longer I'll have to wait? - That's nasty.
- Another skater ripped into me.
- This morning? - Skating club.
- We only get the ice from 5:30 to 7:00.
- We'll get you checked in - in a couple minutes, okay? - Thanks.
Winter.
So it's already an every night kind of thing? Since he started his surgical rotation.
Dubenko's working him hard - and my place is closer to the hospital.
- So sleeping over is a convenience.
No, we do like each other.
And do you know his real name isn't Jake? It's George.
It's actually kind of a funny story.
It's not "funny" funny.
But- Sorry.
Tibial plateau fracture.
Ortho's taking him to the O.
R.
Make sure he's NPO.
- Got it.
- Cellulitis following cat bite.
- Admit to Medicine.
- Already did.
- Antibiotics? - Three grams of Unasyn.
DKA on an insulin drip.
Going up to the ICU.
- Last glucose? - Five-thirty-four.
And they just brought back a 60-year-old lady.
Pick's disease with agitation.
I'm officially out of here.
- Thank you, Luka.
- Hasta la vista, suckers.
Ray, when you get home, take the back stairs.
The front ones are frozen.
You didn't shovel? You're kidding, right? Oh, and the kitchen window - I couldn't get it to close all the way.
- Meaning? Meaning there's snow in the kitchen.
Bit of a buildup.
Might wanna turn the oven on and keep the door open.
- So it'll melt.
- It's just a suggestion.
She used to be my roommate.
Let's get back to medicine.
Atypical chest pain - waiting on a second troponin.
- Got it.
How come Weaver's on? - How come Weaver's on? - She does two shifts a month to keep up her skills and stay in touch with the department's needs.
- Our lucky day.
- Ice skater bleeding in the waiting area.
Frank, let's get her a wheelchair.
Okay.
Someone might wanna grab the trauma at the back door.
Carter, take Neela with you on that chest pain.
Susan, fifty-something woman, dyspnea, Curtain 4.
Abby, Jane, you're with me.
It must be awkward for Dr.
Lewis being chief while having Dr.
Weaver back.
Are you kidding? Weaver comes in, takes charge, runs all the cases.
Lewis loves it.
It's like having a day off.
Not so, however, for the rest of us.
Altercation at someone's all-night turned-out-badly birthday party.
Good morning, Dr.
Pratt.
Half inch of snow, traffic grinds to a halt.
Multiple stabs to the back with a screwdriver.
- You think he dropped a lung? - Probably not.
Sats are 100.
Abby and I got this.
There's a woman with Pick's disease.
Why don't you grab that.
And take Jane with you.
It's a good teaching case.
I'm sure Jane has seen her share - of combative patients with dementia.
- Not with you as her teacher, right? Start by reviewing the key elements of the history, physical, genetics - differences from Alzheimer's.
- Okay, okay.
We're on it.
If it's any consolation, I'm a blank slate when it comes to Pick's disease.
I know we studied it maybe first year.
No, I think it was second year.
No, it was first year.
What did she say about Alzheimer's? Man, talk about your short-term memory loss.
- Lousy son of a- You stupid fat piece- - Nice language.
- Equal breath sounds.
- Pulse ox, 98.
- First HemoCue? - Thirteen-point-eight.
Okay.
Let's roll him.
We're gonna roll you onto your side, sir.
No head injury.
Guess he's sleeping it off.
- Regular or Phillips head? - What? - Stabbed with a screwdriver, right? - Yes.
At least 20 wounds.
All superficial.
I'd say regular.
- SonoSite.
- Mr.
Scanlon, what is Hamman's sign? A crunching sound heard with pneumomediastinum.
Listen for it.
- X-ray's back.
- What's the normal intrapleural pressure? It's negative- Negative 10 to 12 millimeters of mercury.
And what's intra-alveolar pressure? - Fluctuates.
- Minus three with inspiration plus three with expiration.
How does this guy end up with a pneumothorax? Penetrating trauma allows air to enter the pleural space, raising the pressure - collapsing the alveoli.
- Well done, Mr.
Scanlon.
- Fantastic.
- BP, 124/82.
- Let's get him a floor bed.
- He needs the ICU.
- He's stable.
- He's Swiss cheese, needs observation.
- He'll never get an ICU bed.
- He doesn't need one.
No pneumo, crit and vitals are stable, no blood in the pericardium or Morrison's.
Could be an occult solid-organ injury, or delayed- You gonna bludgeon us with the differential? - Occasionally I can be thorough.
- How about a Tele admit? - Maybe after four hours.
- Four hours? Kerry, that lady with dyspnea Sharon Williams, she's asking for you.
- Says you were her doc.
- Okay.
This Swiss cheese is stable.
Let's get him admitted to a med-surg bed.
And don't listen to any of Dr.
Dubenko's suggestions.
- So, Dr.
Lewis - Don't start.
Oh, okay.
No problem.
We humble surgical servants shall leave this in your capable hands.
Jake, do not move Mr.
Screwdriver without a Foley, an NG, three crits - and a four-hour chest film.
- All right.
Okay.
Oh, and suture all the lacs.
- All 20 of them? - Oh, yeah.
Sharon Williams, BP, 124/70.
Pulse ox, 90.
No history of asthma or emphysema.
Thanks, Haleh.
Sharon Williams? You're Dr.
Weaver? Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course you're Dr.
Weaver.
- You were in months before? - Yes.
- And when was that? - Oh, God, let me think.
I don't know.
I can't quite remember.
You know, I'm actually feeling much better now.
- I probably didn't need to come in.
- Well, as long as you did.
I don't- This whole thing is silly.
I don't know what I was thinking.
I'm much better.
I'm breathing fine.
Why don't you let me examine you and we'll make sure of that.
Okay.
You said you experienced shortness of breath? - Yes.
- Any cough or fever? No.
Have you had any prolonged periods of immobilization, like a plane or a car trip? No.
Lungs sound good.
Oxygen level is fine.
We'll check a few tests and see what's going on.
Haleh, EKG, PA and lateral chest, D-dimer.
- Sure.
- And I'll be back to check on you later.
- Dr.
Weaver? - Yeah? Is there something you need? No, no- Well, yes.
It's not really important.
What's not important? Well, I was wondering.
The doc- Daughter of a friend of mine is thinking about medical school.
Do you like what you do? - Very much.
- Did you always wanna be a doctor? From when I was a little girl.
So you were lucky then, weren't you? Getting the opportunity to do it.
Miss Williams, is everything all right? Oh, I'm fine, Kerry, really.
Thank you.
I don't wanna take up any more of your time.
Okay, then.
Sharon Williams.
Let's flip her records from the last time she was in.
Sure.
Can you wiggle your fingers? Can you wiggle your fingers? - Why don't you just give it a try for me.
- Why don't you just give it a try for me.
Charlotte, the dinner party.
The dinner party.
They're gonna be here early.
- It's okay, Mom.
- What will we do? It's okay.
Mom, it's okay.
This morning, I hear her crashing around in the kitchen.
You got a bathroom around here? - Chuny? - Mrs.
Devon, you can come with me.
You can come with me.
You can come with me.
There is no dinner party.
She was in the kitchen.
Thought she was cutting chicken.
She was cutting her own hand.
We'll take care of that.
When did her symptoms start? Two years ago.
She was only 58.
We've been able to keep her at home.
But now I've got three kids.
What am I supposed to do? - Labs back yet on that syncope? - No.
Still waiting.
Call them again and ask nicely.
Nicely? We're never "nicely.
" Pratt, Pick's disease? Jane? Similarities with Alzheimer's but earlier age of onset and faster progression of symptoms.
Mainly causes damage to the frontal lobes of the brain resulting in disinhibition.
The patient can be extremely rude, which we've seen.
And then can become extremely loving, which we have not seen.
Often has a tendency to repeat statements spoken to them.
- I'd actually say it's more than often- - Thank you, Jane.
Good job.
Good job.
Yes, and let me see, was that Dr.
Pratt's extremely efficient teaching? Or was it - eMedicine? - She learned about it, didn't she? She learned the facts, not necessarily how to handle the patients or the family.
She will.
The woman's got lacerations.
- We'll suture once the Ativan kicks in.
- Dr.
Pratt- - And the family? - Daughter's lining up a nursing facility.
- You should help with that.
- Isn't that a social worker thing? Just dive in, see what you can do.
Hey, Sam, did that screwdriver-stabbing guy get sent upstairs yet? Dr.
Dubenko wanted a few things taken care of first.
In what possible universe would I say the words, "Let's polka"? In your sleep, two nights ago.
I'm not making this up.
- You don't think I was surprised? - I don't talk in my sleep.
- How do you know? - Even if I did, I wouldn't say "polka.
" I wouldn't even say "dance.
" I don't dance.
Maybe once when I was a kid I did the limbo.
Yeah, maybe it was the limbo.
See, and you were making it up.
I'm sorry.
Dr.
Lockhart.
Mr.
Scanlon.
- Dr.
Weaver.
- Kerry.
I'm mixing up some Ancef.
I'm just gathering up supplies I thought you were gathering up a med-surg bed for the guy with the holes in his back.
I'd like very much to do that.
Dr.
Weaver, that patient, Sharon Williams there's no record of her being here before.
I asked her about it and she got pretty nervous.
Wants to leave AMA.
- Now? - Yeah.
- Gathering supplies? - Yeah, I know.
Okay? I know.
Excuse me.
That woman who was here, did you see her leave? Yeah, just now.
Kind of bolted.
Do you want me to try and catch her? Miss Williams, please wait.
Your test results aren't back yet.
- I don't need them.
- Shouldn't be much longer.
- I don't need them.
- You could have a blood clot - in the lung or fluid around your heart- - Stop, please.
I don't have any of those things.
There's nothing wrong with me.
I don't understand.
I've never been to this hospital before.
My name's not Sharon Williams.
It's Helen Kingsley.
I'm your mother.
- Did you say Kovac? - His wanting Saturday off is a problem.
Well, however you want to handle it.
Kerry, they can take Sharon Williams for a chest x-ray now.
That won't be necessary.
You can cancel her labs too.
- Cancel all of it? - Yeah.
- Kerry, about earlier- - Could you follow up this migraine in 2? I know the screwdriver guy should be upstairs- - Don't worry about it.
- Dubenko wanted serial crits.
- UA showed 10 red cells.
- We need to work that up? - Probably just from the Foley.
- So he doesn't need a CT? - Frank, I'm gonna take a break.
- What? Break? They say it isn't good for your arteries.
But I guess you'd know about that.
- But I like it anyway.
- How did you find me? The letter you sent.
Well, that was four years ago.
Why all the pretense? - Why didn't you just write back? - I wanted to see you first.
That poor little ice-skater girl.
- Her leg looked awful.
- She's young.
She'll heal.
What you do is so important.
I guess I was scared.
I'm here in Chicago for a week, so - You're still in Indiana? - Terre Haute.
That's next door.
You could have come to Chicago a hundred times.
I'm sorry.
I looked for you.
I hired an investigator.
I finally found the right address.
You knew where I was and still you waited so long? I can't explain it.
I know it wasn't fair.
- I'm truly, truly sorry.
- Oh, please- Please, don't go yet.
So have you always lived in Indiana? South Carolina, originally.
I'm here in Chicago with my choir.
Your choir? There's a Christ Crusade and we were chosen to sing in the Festival Chorus.
That- That sounds like quite an honor.
When's the concert? Tomorrow afternoon, Community Baptist on Dearborn.
As a matter of fact, they're gonna be looking for me.
I got a rehearsal.
I'd like to talk to you again, Kerry - if you want to, that is.
- Yeah, I would.
- So I can call you after I'm done? - You have the number of the hospital? - No.
- Just wait one second.
There's a separate number for the ER.
Here you go.
There you are.
- So you'll call? - A couple hours.
Great.
- Pressure's only 72 palp.
- Left pupil is 6 mm and sluggish.
- Hang 80 of mannitol.
- Multiple rib fractures with sub-q air.
- Glove up for a chest tube.
- Our drunk vs.
screwdriver is having some more trouble? - This isn't the screwdriver guy.
- I heard he was still down here so naturally I assumed there was some emergent situation.
No.
This would be motorcycle vs.
tree guy.
- Blunt head, chest.
- Looks like a fractured spleen.
Mr.
Scanlon, your patient's bleeding in the head and belly.
What's your plan? Quick head CT before going to the O.
R.
for an ex-lap.
Good call, if you want him to bleed out in the scanner.
Betadine and Steri-Drape.
What's Monroe-Kellie hypothesis? - I don't know.
- Abby? I don't know.
CPP equals M.
A.
P.
minus ICP.
Cerebral perfusion pressure equals mean arterial pressure minus intracranial pressure.
- Spleen's a bigger threat to the M.
A.
P.
- Two units is on the infuser.
- Guide wire's ready.
- Stop what you're doing.
Have you even read about this procedure? I supervised Jake putting in a chest tube last week.
Good.
I'm sure you told him you always insert a finger and feel lung tissue before Before inserting the tube.
Why is that, Mr.
Scanlon? First, break up any adhesions.
Second, if there's a diaphragmatic injury you could be in the abdominal cavity.
Chest tubes don't work well in the stomach.
Line is primed.
Kerry, I think we can take this from here.
Yes, I'm sure you can.
That was fun.
Would you like to tell me why she's so pissed off at the two of you? Man, and I thought I knew how to pimp.
When did your neck pain start? Came from Cleveland yesterday to help my brother move.
I was lifting a chair.
She had a MRI last year.
Three slipped discs in her neck.
- Any neural findings? - Motor and sensory intact.
The pain goes down into her arm, don't forget.
- Some morphine? - Makes me sick to my stomach.
Demerol's the only thing that works when she gets like this.
We could try Toradol.
- Allergic.
- Demerol.
Okay.
We will be right back.
Neck pain with radiculopathy consistent with herniated disc syndrome.
Allergic to Toradol? - May as well say she's a Demerol addict.
- There's no objective test for pain.
- Shouldn't we believe her? - Give her the Demerol and get her out.
See what I mean? She's on every case.
Looks good.
Did Dr.
Pratt show the two-layer repair? Where is Dr.
Pratt? I think he's looking for supplies.
Looking for supplies.
Didn't she have her daughter with her? That's where he is.
He's- He's with the daughter.
He's helping her locate a skilled nursing facility.
CVP is 10, M.
A.
P.
is 80, and we're transfusing to an SCV O2 of 70.
- Once the crit is 30, consider dopamine.
- Dr.
Pratt, is there a good reason why - you left your student unsupervised? - Other patients.
I've got a 75-year-old man with urosepsis a woman in pulmonary edema and a kid with anaphylaxis from a peanut allergy.
And my student should be supervised by an intern.
Except that I asked you to do it.
- You gotta stay on these Residents.
- Dr.
Pratt isn't the problem.
You know that break you took? You may wanna take another one.
- Frank, have I gotten any calls? - Nope.
- You've been here the whole time? - Yep.
I'm going out.
Carter, would you take over this bowel obstruction in 4 retinoschisis in 2, Mr.
Langstaff with pyelo, waiting on an admit to Medicine a 72-year-old female with nausea.
And I need an LP on the fever in 6.
You're signing in a spinal tap? So much for every case.
Oh, thank you.
Thanks.
Bye.
Has it already been two hours? I just thought I'd catch some of the rehearsal.
It was beautiful.
It stopped snowing.
I gotta get my coat.
A lot of people brought their families.
I have two children.
Two other children.
Carl's 26.
He does something with the county court system that I don't understand.
And Laurie's a year out of college, free spirit bouncing around.
And I'm divorced.
I always had this image of you living somewhere with this happily-ever-after family.
Ending the marriage was more difficult than I imagined.
The Church saved me, gave me back my life.
Except for the part of my life that's taken up with my business.
I own an auto-parts store.
- That's unusual.
- I know, nobody can quite believe it but it was part of the divorce settlement.
Thank you.
- Why do you need it? - You don't know? Congenital hip dysplasia.
In common parlance, it's a birth defect.
- Birth defect? - Yes.
- Something I gave you? - Well, there's really no way to know.
It's not that clear-cut.
Helen? I was thinking about what you said about how I could have been in Chicago a hundred times, why this time? I think it's because I just recently got the news that your daddy died.
His name was Cody Boone.
He should have been a character in some old western TV show.
We were 15- Well, I was almost 15.
And that was in South Carolina? Myrtle Beach.
My daddy had a miniature-golf course.
Cody worked there after school.
So what happened? Nothing fancy.
I got pregnant.
All the parents pitched a fit.
Rightfully so.
- And abortion wasn't legal.
- Oh, I never would have done that.
Back then they had these homes for girls in my condition.
There was one up in Indiana where my aunt lived so they sent me up there.
That's where you were born.
Did you ever want to keep me? Oh, of course.
Cody and I had a whole plan.
He was gonna quit school, get work.
There was a room over his parents' garage where we could live.
But in the end, you're 14, 15, you got no money so I came to believe that the best thing for you would be to be with people who could care for you and do things for you.
- It was true, right? - I don't know.
- What I mean is- - I know what you mean.
I had two loving parents.
I was happy.
But even with that, it somehow always felt like rejection.
Does that make sense? They took you so fast.
I never held you.
Never even saw you.
And nobody ever told me anything about the birth defect.
When I was a little girl, I used to wonder if that's why I was given away.
Not quite perfect.
All Jesus' children are perfect.
And my father, Cody, he didn't go with you? - I never saw him again.
- Ever? But when you heard he died? Kind of pushed a button, huh? I guess I'd always thought about him over the years although not as much as I thought about you.
That would be work.
She's concerned.
So am I.
I understand, Mr.
Bulowski.
- The pain is still in her neck.
- And still in my arm.
- I understand that too.
- I thought that you were going to help.
- Dr.
Rasgotra.
- Excuse me.
She complained that she was still in pain.
You explained to her that she already had her Demerol? - So she suckered you for a second shot.
- One could look at it that way.
- Jerry, I'm back.
- I didn't even know you'd been gone.
Don't take this the wrong way, when I said to take a break I didn't mean literally.
- I didn't think I'd be gone long.
- We're getting slammed.
Morris is out sick.
We're boarding 10 ICU patients.
We've got charts in the rack for four hours, 12 patients on the board - and we're 50 behind in triage.
- You're back? - Yes.
- Are you going out again? - Yes.
- Yes? I irrigated the obnoxious bald guy.
- Got him moved into Trauma 2.
- I can take that.
Okay, thank you.
- Kerry.
- I was looking for some obnoxious guy - who needs suturing? - He was here, but- Yeah, we put him next door.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
Do you work here? My head is throbbing, throbbing, throbbing.
No one will even give me an answer.
Mr.
Screwdriver, so nice to see you again.
Okay, Kerry.
I take full responsibility for this patient still being in the ER.
You don't think Dr.
Dubenko deserves just a soupçon of that? He ordered an NG, a Foley, three serial crits and a four-hour chest film.
- I hear everything, Mr.
Scanlon.
- She pretty much does.
So do we have some hope that this gentleman will be sent upstairs in, let's say, our lifetime? - Ten minutes.
- Thank you.
When you're done with him, do the guy next door.
Does she have multiple personalities? - You're not on, bro.
- No, Dr.
Morris has failed to be on and I was unceremoniously told to bring my ass back in here.
- Have you seen Neela or Carter? - No.
Dr.
Barnett, got your first case.
The well-fed, well-drugged Bulowskis in Curtain 2.
Review the chart and kick their asses out of here.
They're both good facilities.
Locked doors so patients can't wander and the nursing staffs are trained in handling dementia patients.
- Thank you so much.
- Jane.
Mrs.
Devon's daughter, the Pick disease.
I was just going over some of the facilities with her.
And Dr.
Pratt, is he even remotely involved with this patient anymore? Yeah.
We're swamped, you know? One of the docs is out so he's been busy, but he's involved, sort of.
Wound edges are everted nicely.
Excellent approximation.
Jane does good work.
- You waiting on a Unasyn piggyback? - Yeah, thanks.
Don't worry, I got this.
Okay.
Okay, I get it, Mrs.
Devon.
Please, do not play with the Kleenex box, all right? All right.
You know what? Winter.
You really are leaving, aren't you? You know that patient who was here this morning? Sharon Williams.
She wasn't really a patient.
Yeah? Do you remember when I was looking for my birth mother? - Oh, my God, you found her? - She found me.
Kerry, I'm so happy for you! Is it weird? It's a lot to take in, I mean there are certain things that she's told me and there are a lot of things I still have to tell her.
I gotta go.
I'm gonna go home and change and I'm gonna go have some dinner.
Don't worry about this place.
We'll be fine.
I'll try to stop by later.
Susan, thanks.
So you said you had pictures of some relatives? I want to hear about Africa.
Okay.
We lived there when I was little.
The adoption people said the family- Your family.
were involved in the Church.
- Were they actually missionaries? - More like wannabe missionaries.
My mom worked to set up new schools and my dad was a civil engineer.
He taught me how to build a canal, not that I've had much use for that.
Well, did you like living over there? I was different simply for being white.
No one seemed to even notice the crutch.
And then, my parents were older, their health wasn't so great so we moved back to Minneapolis when I was 12.
And they both passed away when I was in college.
So they never got to see you become a doctor? They would have been so proud of you.
I'm proud of you.
My biggest regret is that they never got to meet their grandson.
You have a family? My son.
Henry.
He's named after my dad.
There he is.
Oh, my heavens! What a little doll.
- He's 13 months.
- That's a handful.
Between him and a full-time job, no wonder you need a nanny.
Is your husband a doctor too? I'm alone now.
There was an accident.
Oh, my God, Kerry.
I'm so sorry.
- Was it recent? - Last year.
Oh, Kerry.
My dear Kerry.
We are tested.
But the Lord gives us strength.
I can only imagine how difficult this has been.
But you have to have faith.
Paul wrote in Romans 8: I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor rulers nor things present nor things to come can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
- Are you waiting? - What? Oh, no.
Go ahead.
This is my Uncle Jackson.
Loved stealing cars.
Just had a real passion for it.
Do you have any pictures of my father? Just one.
When I was away in Indiana, Cody drove all the way up to see me.
Didn't even have a license yet.
For the life of me, I don't know what we thought we had to smile about.
This is my family, Helen.
This woman's name is Sandy Lopez and she's not my nanny.
- She was my partner.
- Your partner? My lover, my wife, the mother of my child.
She was a firefighter and she died last year.
You're gay? Yes.
I wanted to tell you earlier but I was afraid.
My mom and dad died before I came to accept it so I never got a chance to tell them.
So they never knew you made this choice? It's not a choice.
It's who I am, who I was born as.
- Will you pray with me? - No.
No.
I am not gonna do this.
Kerry, please.
Kerry! I didn't mean to offend you.
- I was so glad to find you.
- And my being gay changes that? - This is who I am.
- It's wrong, Kerry.
- I knew this was a mistake.
- It's not what God created.
Why are people like you always saying things like that? Why are people like you so dismissive of people of faith? Because you have no faith that God knew what he was doing that God created me too.
God did create you and he loves you.
What is it about us that is so much more threatening than all the really terrible things in the world? - Don't dismiss me so easily.
- I mean, people are starving people are being shot at, men are flying planes into buildings yet the faithful are saying, "Watch out for those lesbians.
They're gonna destroy our God-gifted lives.
" Well, the world isn't perfect.
It's what we make it.
You just finished telling me how perfect it was.
That neither life, nor death, angels nor rulers can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I know the words, I was raised in the Church.
Then you know its healing mission.
Except that the welcome sign's not out for everyone, is it? - Do you hate all faith? - No.
No, of course not.
I hate that my own faith now excludes me tries to tell me I'm a sinner because of the people I love.
It's the people you've chosen to love.
I have made a choice, to stop living a lie about who I am.
I was alone in my soul.
Do you know what that feels like? My hotel is nearby.
I think I'll walk.
They won't budge.
I called Cleveland Memorial she goes there twice a week.
She's in their turkey files.
We're not gonna cure her habit today.
Just kick her out.
Weaver's gonna be pissed.
Watch and learn.
Mrs.
Bulowski I understand you're experiencing pain.
It's better, but I think one more shot would really do it.
- You've already had two.
- Hey.
Well, the problem is that when you use it regularly as I think that you do, it doesn't work as well and you can grow dependent on it.
Are you saying that my wife is some drug addict? - You don't know what real pain is.
- I'm not sure that's fair.
- What do you know? - Mr.
Bulowski.
You think it's fair that my wife has this kind of pain? You said you would bring her another shot.
- I'm not talking to you! - Jerry, call Security.
- You like stringing people along? That it? - You need to calm- Will you get the hell away from me! Come on! Get him off of me.
Beth! Come on! Where the hell are you? Beth! Beth! Get them off of me, Beth! Beth! Beth get- What the hell am I doing? I got her.
Who's winning? Neela was about to deck somebody with a bedpan.
I've always wanted to see that.
Hard to let go of a dream, isn't it, Jerry? - So are we under control? - Yeah, I'd say so.
- Thought you were gone for the day.
- Yeah, me too.
Charlotte? Charlotte? It's okay.
She's gonna be back, Mrs.
Devon.
- Hey, where's her daughter? - She had to pick up her kids.
- What's she doing? - Is the roast-? Is the roast going to be ready? Don't worry.
The roast is gonna be just fine.
She's folding napkins for her dinner party.
The literature says that you shouldn't play into this delusional thinking but I don't really get the point in this case, do you? - You got this? - I think so.
- Dr.
Weaver.
- What's going on with Picks disease? Found a bed for her tonight.
Her daughter managed a placement but they won't take her until tomorrow.
Hey, I just wanted you to know that I'm willing to have Jane assigned to me anytime.
I bet.
She's good.
Yeah, no kidding.
Hey, so did you hear? They're bringing in a fisherman versus horse.
- Versus horse? - Yeah, I know.
You'd think it'd be versus fish - but, you know, who am I-? - Go.
- Hey, Kerry.
- Hey.
Aren't you in a little early? An hour.
With Sam on days and me on nights just trying to steal a moment when I can.
- Good night.
- Thanks.
Good evening.
Can I help you? Helen? Helen.
They tell you the coffee's free, you just got to pay for the room, that's all.
You think about a day like this for a long time.
You play out every scenario in your head.
Except for this one.
- Is it because I gave you up? - No.
No, of course not.
Is it because I didn't come looking for you for so many years? You don't get to paint the whole picture yourself, Helen.
Feel guilty because you gave up a child and then get all warm and fuzzy because it turned out all right, she had a good family, became a doctor.
If you're disappointed, it should be with the limits of your faith not in the way that I've lived my life.
I gave birth to a child who I abandoned for all the right reasons, they told me.
But I thought about you.
And I came to realize that by giving you up I'd broken my own heart.
Faith is the only thing that gave me hope gave me courage.
I can't abandon it too.
Can you accept me for who I am? I can love you, whoever you are.
I don't want love without acceptance.
It was so good to finally meet you.