Eureka s03e10 Episode Script

No standardized test can tell me whether I'm fit to do my job.
Biannual recertification exams are required by the DOD.
To keep your job, Carter.
Make sure you're not slowing down in your old age.
I'm in the best shape of my life.
I'm like a viking.
These aren't your standard fitness tests.
How hard can they be? Well, the exams are unique to each individual.
For the next 48 hours they will try to push you to your limit.
Physically, psychologically, and emotionally.
But don't worry, we haven't had a death or psychotic break in, like, forever.
That's reassuring.
Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
I'll check on what's left of you later.
Seriously? Holy cow, Jo, are you okay? Are you kidding? That was awesome.
Is this the next victim? Sheriff, this is Dr.
Bella pagani.
She'll be running your exam.
- Hi.
It's a pleasure.
- Trust me, it won't be for long.
- Hi, Fargo.
- Hey, Julia.
So, how'd my Deputy do? She's perfect.
- No surprise there.
- Stop it, I'm blushing.
No one expects you to match Deputy Lupo's performance, Sheriff.
That's a relief.
Take these and try to get some rest.
The tests can have side effects.
This is your panic button.
Couldn't make it any bigger? Use it anytime to stop the test.
Of course, that would mean admitting defeat And unemployment.
- Let's get you changed.
- Sure, sure, sure.
About watching Zoe.
Just make sure she does her homework.
Spend some quality time with SARAH.
She tends to get lonely.
And try not to let the town burn down when I'm gone.
Carter, I'm perfect.
Remember? I can handle my job and yours.
Have fun.
All right.
You wanted to see me? We are are going to beta-test a new security system.
I wanted you to be aware of.
Biometric DNA monitoring.
That sounds ominous.
It's a way to keep track of employees.
GD already has security badges, retinal scans.
It's a much more secure system.
It's the next logical step.
To what, 1984? To keeping people safe.
This monitoring system also has real-world applications.
Natural disasters, industrial accidents, kidnapping.
Invasion of privacy? Dr.
Jacob Stefano has been developing this for three years.
The DOD wants results or they're gonna cut funding.
If you're already decided, why ask me? Because it's not limited to Global.
It covers the entire town.
As mayor, you get a vote, along with me, as head of Global, and local law enforcement.
Meaning Jack.
Normally, yes.
But since he's tied up in testing, Jo gets to vote.
Convenient timing.
Not everything is convenient.
Careful.
My girlfriend might see you.
- Awkward.
- I will show you awkward.
You okay, Fargo? Yeah.
Just thinking.
About making out with Jo? What? No.
Way over that.
Completely.
There's someone out there for everyone.
You'll find yours.
You keep telling me that.
How'd you do? Apparently, I'm perfect.
You were serious.
Remember that kiss.
It was your last.
Come on.
I think you're great.
But no one's perfect.
She's darn close.
Why, thank you, Fargo.
Please, he's just trying to get on your good side.
Maybe you should try to get on my good side.
Look, I'm just saying we all have our flaws, like being hyper-sensitive and over-reactive.
And all I'm saying is when you really care about somebody, you don't focus on their flaws.
So maybe that gives me something to think about.
Yeah, I'll be right there.
You, I'm done with.
But it was nice to see you, Douglas.
So Dr.
Stefano, your pilot program is ready to go? Absolutely.
Once I've uploaded everyone's DNA profile into the system, it'll monitor their vital signs and location in case an emergency security situation arises.
That could definitely come in handy, especially in this town.
Sure, if you're willing to compromise civil liberties in the name of security.
A lot of people are.
Then let them volunteer their DNA.
Don't make it mandatory.
I vote no.
You're acting Sheriff.
Your vote decides.
I have to put town security first.
I vote yes.
Then you can be the first of our tribunal to go.
Stand in the chamber.
Just stand right in the center.
It'll scan your DNA in less than a minute.
You won't feel a thing.
Shut it down! I think she's coming around.
How do you feel? Like a freakin' lightbulb.
Let me help you.
Take it easy.
I'm good.
I've done hundreds of scans.
I have no idea what went wrong.
Could that have something to do with it? The genome spectrometer is missing.
No wonder the settings went off the charts.
Why would someone take that? I don't know.
But I've a replacement.
So we can get the system back online.
- After what just happened? - What happened was sabotage.
I put three years into this project.
I'm not giving up now.
Who would do this? I'm pulling Carter from his exams.
I can handle it.
Jo, you just had quite a jolt.
You need time to recover.
I'll be fine, as soon as I regain sensation in my extremities.
Allison, just get the DNA monitor back online.
- We may be needing it.
- Are you sure you're up to this? Don't worry about my performance.
Worry about Carter's.
Hello? I like what you've done with the place.
I hear white's the new black.
So is there gonna be a test anytime soon? Push the button.
That's it? That's the big test? No wonder Lupo scored so high.
Very high.
Push the button.
Crap.
How you feelin'? A little fuzzy, but crime waits for no one.
I need to figure out who'd want to steal that genomy genomic thermometer thingy.
Just a few hours a Sheriff and you're already sounding like Carter.
A near-electrocution can do that to you.
I checked for prints, I got nothing.
Any idea what they'd want to use it for? There's lots of potential research applications.
But I'm wondering if it has anything to do with the missing intramuscular electrode array.
- Any particular reason? - Because mine appears to be gone.
So that makes two thefts.
Could you try and figure out a link between the two devices? - I can try.
- Great.
And I'll work on a list of people that have access to Stefano's lab.
Right after I help Zoe with her homework.
A parent's work is never done.
If you differentiate the cross product of "R" and "P" with respect to time, that should equal zero, right? Can't SARAH help you? I'm sorry, I'm not programmed to cheat.
Whatever.
It's good enough.
What do you say we go to Vincent's for karaoke night? I'd say I have a very important case to solve, it's a school night, and your dad would kill me.
My dad's not here.
But I am.
So for the next 48 hours, consider me him.
Come on, Jo, aunt Lexi would take me if she wasn't off at her chakra retreat.
I'm exhausted, I have a pounding headache, and all I want to do is take a nap.
And I thought my dad was no fun.
I'm tons of fun.
Whatever.
Just go solve your big case.
I'll be in my room solving this.
Push the button.
You can't do this! I mean, nobody could do this.
It's impossible.
That's the answer.
Isn't it? Right? You can't make a floor disappear.
It's a hologram.
Nice.
Lupo put you up to this, didn't she? Push the button.
Come on, it's my first karaoke night.
I need everything to be perfect.
What are you up to? You know, protecting and serving.
The usual.
- So what are you working on? - A new AI program.
The first law of robotics is giving me trouble here.
A robot may not injure a human being, or through inaction allow a human being to come into harm.
- You know Asimov's three laws? - Are you kidding? - Isaac Asimov is my personal God.
- I had no idea.
Give me some sci-fi and Halo 3 and I am a happy girl.
- So what's going on in here? - Virtual karaoke night.
You should stick around.
Maybe I will.
Where have you been? Henry said there's been another theft.
It must have slipped my mind.
Jo, we've had two very highly valuable pieces of equipment stolen.
If you're not feeling up to this I'm good.
You sure? Because we need to find out who's responsible.
Absolutely.
It's already been taken care of.
Who is it? Him.
What? Too pitchy? I swear I'm innocent! We're trying to talk here.
You gotta show 'em who's boss.
Are you sure that Larry did this? He had motive, knowledge, and opportunity.
It's a trifecta.
But what, exactly, was his motive? Isn't it obvious? To steal.
Yeah, but why? The criminal mind is an enigma.
Is this thing cool or what? I'm a little concerned that the shock to your system is affecting your judgment.
Shock? At Dr.
Stefano's? Remember? Yeah, I took a nap, and I woke up feeling like a brand new woman.
And now, - I feel like celebrating my first bust.
- Okay, Jo, you've had dozens of busts.
Well, I mean as acting Sheriff.
Don't worry.
He won't be any more trouble.
Jo's on the job.
He's not the one I'm worried about.
So not a hologram.
So not a hologram.
You can use the panic button at any time to end the test.
Give Jo the satisfaction? I don't think so.
Thanks, but Not really much of a card player.
Whatever will help achieve your goal.
Then again Before you kill me, I am really sorry.
For what? You were amazing.
What? So you're not gonna shoot me, or worse, tell my dad? Not unless you want me to tell him that you were awesome.
Hey, Jo.
Your usual? Heck, make it a double.
Whatever you say.
I'm off duty.
Are you gonna sing a song? Me up there alone? You can do a duet.
We could pick songs and costumes.
It's gonna be awesome.
Wait, I Oh, boy.
Enjoy.
Okay, that's not espresso.
No, that's ouzo.
It's my usual.
Jo, come on.
Hurry up.
Hit me.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Did you see me? - Everybody saw you.
What the hell was that? The most fun I think I've ever had.
All right, I can't believe this.
Do I know you? Maybe you don't.
Let's get your clothes, 'cause we're leaving.
I'm leaving.
Bye, Fargo.
Hey, rock star.
- Rise and shine.
- Does that say 8:00 AM? Yep.
Just on my way to school.
How you feeling? I think my headache's actually worse.
I'm not surprised, after last night's performance.
What performance? You must've been drunker than I thought.
Cafe Diem Karaoke? You went, even after I told you not to? Well, yeah, because you said it was cool.
- Actually, she forbade it.
- No one's asking you, SARAH.
And I've been completely out since before 8:00? Yeah, out dancing on pianos and kissing Fargo.
After which you passed out here.
What are you talking about? Dr.
Fargo is at the door.
That.
Fargo, what are you doing here? Can I talk to Jo for a sec? Alone? Actually, I'm starting to think I want a witness.
- I'm happy to oblige.
- No, thanks, SARAH.
We're good.
Let's just come right out and say it.
Your kiss moved my soul, and I don't care who knows.
Very, very funny.
But I don't have time for this.
No, this is not a joke.
You can ask anyone at the cafe.
Okay, I've been through my fair share of traumas in the last 24 hours, and kissing Fargo wasn't one of them.
Sorry, but I gotta get back to work before Allison decides that I'm completely incompetent.
You, I'll deal with later.
I'll take 'em if you want.
Thank you.
I'll push the button.
Now what? Stage 2.
Push the button.
You gotta be kidding me.
You have all the tools you need to complete the test.
Bunch of psychos! - What are you doing in there? - You put me in here! - Has everyone gone nuts? - That's what I'd like to know.
Hi.
Hi? That's all you have to say? What do you expect me to say? "Sorry for getting wasted and making out with Fargo.
" - You made out with Fargo? - Kinda.
You've been talking to Zoe, haven't you? - I saw you last night.
- Brilliant.
Let's punk the Deputy on her first case as Sheriff, yes? You know what? I can't talk to you right now.
Good luck, Larry.
I appreciate the effort.
But, Larry - Get the hell out of my cell.
- Gladly.
It's Allison.
We have a problem.
I need you to come to GD right now.
I'm on my way.
Hypermethylation plasma was taken from the infirmary last night.
Which is? A serum used in tumor treatments.
So I'll start talking to people, see if anybody saw anything.
We already know who took it.
Great.
So your DNA monitor's working? Yeah, I got the system fully online last night.
Shows this DNA signature in the infirmary at the time of the theft.
It's a perfect match.
Well, this This can't be right.
The person behind the thefts The person that we've been looking for is you.
Nothing is going on with me.
I didn't do anything.
Jo, you suffered a serious injury.
You need to be tested.
Given the shock to your system, memory loss and aberrant behavior are not surprising.
But I remember everything, and I'm not aberrant.
So what you did last night at Café Diem was normal? I didn't do it.
I took a nap after helping Zoe with her homework because I had a headache.
When I woke up, it was morning.
You also arrested Larry last night.
Henry and I were there.
Dr.
Pagani did say that there could be some side effects after the recertification exam, but why would I wanna steal all that equipment? Honey, you kissed Fargo.
- You're acting a tad impulsively.
- Jo, we wanna help.
Then figure out what all that stolen equipment has in common, and I will figure out what's going on.
You need time to recover.
Carter will be done with his test in 12 hours.
- He can take over.
- You know what? Why don't we just let her work until he's done.
And then you can do all the testing that you want.
Please, Allison I am not crazy.
Okay, fine.
Thank you.
Come on.
Come on! Holy smokes.
Are you here to make sure your perfect record's intact? Not so much.
I wanted to talk to Carter.
I'm sorry.
You know the rules.
No outside contact until testing's complete.
Did you wanna try back Tomorrow? This sucks! I gotta go back to the beginning.
Back to the beginning.
Thanks.
I know you've been under a lot of pressure to beta-test your DNA monitoring system.
Well, there's always a deadline.
That's the nature of government research.
Well, is it possible that the security was compromised - when the spectrometer was taken? - Absolutely not.
I replaced the stolen part, and the system's been working perfectly ever since.
Then, how come it showed me in the infirmary when I was sleeping in a bed? How come I heard you were out frenching Fargo? It wasn't me.
The Sheriff's smart house SARAH confirmed that Jo was there all night.
She must be mistaken.
Then show me the DNA signature of the person in the infirmary at the time of the theft.
And the person in the smart house.
Now.
You've been lying this entire time.
Does this thing even work?! It was the one anomaly I couldn't explain.
I didn't wanna postpone the beta-test again.
What anomaly? There were two DNA signatures for you.
When the system showed two matching DNA strands, I thought it was a glitch.
And Jo hasn't exactly been herself recently.
Have you? Thanks for last night.
It was memorable.
Really? Because this morning you denied it ever happened.
Sorry, I took a sleeping pill last night, I was a bit out of sorts, but I'm better now.
So can we talk? How about tonight at the Target Range, about 6:00? You mean, like, a date? I gotta I gotta run.
You wanna dance? Let's dance! Just so you know, in high school I took a semester of Shotokan.
I don't wanna fight.
I'm worried about Jo.
One second she's acting normal.
And the next she's kissing you.
Yeah, maybe she's finally come to her senses.
You just talked to her.
Didn't she seem different to you? Well, she kinda just asked me out.
And that didn't strike you as odd? It just felt like we were connecting.
Call me crazy, but I don't think she was faking.
Yeah, well, that's what worries me.
You are right.
I've been considering the possible applications for the three devices that have been taken.
Genome spectrometer, intramuscular electrode array, methylation plasma.
And? All three have applications to experiments dealing with DNA manipulation.
So we're looking for someone who has access to my DNA.
Yes, but who would want your DNA? Someone who thinks I'm perfect.
This shouldn't be happening.
This is really bad.
It's about to get worse.
Please don't be mad.
You stole my face! Is this what you used? I'm really sorry, Jo.
I just wanted to see what it would feel like to be you for just a day.
I mean you're You're beautiful.
And confident and everyone respects you.
I wouldn't say I'm beautiful.
Because even the one guy I like only has eyes for you.
Look, I'm flattered, but the party's over.
Undo it.
I can't.
The DNA base strands aren't stabilizing.
I can't reverse it.
Well, you're not gonna stop trying until you do.
Even if it's from my jail cell.
Please, Jo, I know I messed up, but I never meant to cause any trouble.
I just wanted to feel less ordinary.
Look, I'm sorry, but you're coming with me.
What's happening? Remote time-release sedatives.
I gave them to you after the test.
I needed to make sure that there weren't two of us walking around.
Don't do this.
I'm so sorry, Jo.
Just, if I had to choose between your life or mine I'd choose yours.
She's back.
Can you talk? She's behind the entire thing.
Did you catch her? Actually, I did.
What did you do to me? You mean what did you do to me? Jo told us how you stole the equipment, and how you used her dna from the exams to steal her identity.
No! I figured out how she stole my identity.
And now she's turned me into her.
That's what Jo said you would say.
She tried to convince me I was going crazy because of post-traumatic stress syndrome.
You actually had me doubting my own sanity.
You did that to me! Allison, Henry, you have to believe me.
I am Jo.
Sheriff Cobb hired me five years ago.
I graduated top of my class.
I can kill a man with my thumbs! All of which is information she could access from my personnel file.
- Julia - Don't call me that! When I get out of here, I'm gonna kick your a We're gonna keep you under observation until we do a full psych work-up.
The ethics committee will take your mental state under consideration while they decide on your redaction from Eureka.
No, you can't redact me! That is exactly what she wants.
I am really sorry.
You can't do this! I can't do this! That's the answer.
Isn't it? It can't be done.
"All the tools I need.
" What else you got, huh?! Cold water! Is that crazy or what?! That's crazy.
That's definitely the word.
What's wrong? You want a turn? It's just You've kinda been giving me mixed signals.
I'm sorry about that.
I've been going through some pretty major changes lately.
You know, what I want out of life.
Who I want to be.
Who I want to be with.
So what do you want? Let me give you a reminder.
I don't think so.
I thought you liked me.
I do.
It's just I'm not convinced I know who you are.
But I'd like to.
I'm not sure you're gonna want to for long.
Zane, thank God you're here! Julia, right? Allison told me what you did to Jo.
She's Julia Golden.
And I am Jo.
Psych ward.
I'm Henry.
I can prove it.
Ask me something personal that only Jo could know.
Pet peeves.
Small guns, big egos, and overly-critical boyfriends.
- Boxers or briefs? - Me or you? - Funny.
Me.
- Boxers.
Except on laundry day, which, by my count, would be tomorrow.
First date? Sunday brunch at Café Diem.
I was nervous.
You brought a rose.
I wore a sun dress.
You said something smart, which made me feel dumb.
But you made up for it on our second date.
So does that mean I sounded dumb, or I made you feel smart? A little bit of both.
And how'd the date end? Let me give you a reminder.
That's my Josefina.
Get me out of here before I taser you for kissing another woman.
Yep, definitely Jo.
Zane, what's happening to me? I've never seen anything like this.
Her DNA markers don't match her original profile.
They don't match any profile.
I'm so sorry, Jo.
I can't believe that's you in there.
Trust me, it's her.
- Just fix me and all's forgiven.
- We're working on it.
The transfiguration process must have caused her DNA to decompose.
It's like her cells are misfiring.
So if we can't restart them Being stuck in Julia is the least of her problems.
If her cells stop functioning, we could lose her for good.
These will stabilize the spasms, but not for long.
How can my cells be misfiring? Bodies regulate tiny electrical impulses that allow cells to function.
Yours aren't getting enough juice.
Your DNA strands are unraveling.
The genetic lines between Jo and Julia are becoming blurred.
I've been blurry ever since I was shocked by your stupid scanner.
Again, really sorry about that.
What if we do it again? One near electrocution wasn't enough? My cells are misfiring.
What if we give them a genetic jump start? The scanner does have your original DNA profile.
Programming them into Julia's device might restart the markers.
- Like a cellular reboot.
- We need Julia to show us how.
We're trying to pinpoint her location.
If this is happening to me, it must be happening to her too.
Can we use the DNA monitor to track her the way she tracked me? Not if her DNA is degenerating.
It won't match the profile in the system.
Then try searching for Fargo's.
So you're Julia.
How long have you known? Guess I always knew something was off.
I'm really sorry I lied.
I just I wanted you to notice me.
What are you talking about? You had me at Halo.
Because I look like Jo.
Look, I've tried before, and you've never responded.
Because I'm clueless and completely socially awkward.
But I'm sure looking like this didn't hurt.
Maybe not, but it's you I connected with.
And I'd really like to connect more.
I have really made an awful mess of things.
Please.
I have made my fair share of messes.
Believe me.
I'm not sure this one can be fixed.
Well, with your help, we think it can.
And you re-routed the plasma impulse through the electrode array? Exactly how you said.
But you're both critical, we can only treat one of you at a time.
Jo goes first.
You're in the worst shape, Julia.
You may not survive the wait.
Jo first.
Okay that's it.
I've programmed her original DNA profile into Julia's transfiguration device.
She's stabilized for the moment.
We need to do this now.
Let's go.
Blood pressure's dropping.
Her system's too unstable.
If we stop now, we may not get another chance.
- She's getting worse.
- Come on, don't give up.
- She's not responding.
- Stop.
Hang on! Is she Blood pressure's rising.
Her DNA profile is starting to stabilize! You had me worried there.
How do I look? Perfect.
You've just done a very brave thing.
Brave would have been staying inside my own skin to begin with.
It's time to get you back.
Thanks.
It's okay.
So, Julia, I have spoken with the ethics committee.
They're gonna schedule a hearing.
Of course.
I'm so sorry about all of the trouble that I've caused with Deputy Lupo and Larry.
I feel awful.
In any case, given the fact that you helped save Deputy Lupo, and the incredible advances you made in dna transfiguration, you can stay in Eureka on probation, pending formal review.
That's great! Thank you so much.
There are a few things I would really like to stick around for.
Well, all's well that ends well.
Speaking of which, I have sent the DNA monitor back into redevelopment.
You were right.
It wasn't ready.
- It wasn't about being right.
- I know.
I still believe it has the potential to protect a lot of people.
In a perfect world.
Well, in a perfect world, we wouldn't need it.
- How'd you do? - What? How'd you do? - I think your record's safe.
- But he passed with high marks.
Never doubted he would.
- So same time next year.
- What? Allison said it was gonna be every two years.
No, you didn't score that high, so.
What? It's just It's good to have you back.
- Should go away more often.
- I'd prefer you didn't.
- Being you was no walk in the park.
- Meaning? Nothing I couldn't handle alone.
It's just more fun having you around.
Yeah, tell me about it.
Those 48 hours alone were way too long.
Coulda been worse.
There coulda been two of you.
- Sorry, what? - Nothing.
Vinspresso? Yeah, make mine a double.
- Did you have to tread water? - What?