Everybody Hates Chris s01e15 Episode Script

In Bed-Stuy, a lot of people have reputations for different things.
Diedre Garfield was 23 and had a reputation for being the youngest grandmother in Brooklyn.
All right, I got everything under control! Mr.
Jackson had a reputation for being crazy as hell.
And a lot of people say he invented homelessness.
Move the car! You want to fight? I had a reputation, too not only for being a nerd or getting beat up every day, I was also known for being the best Asteroids player in Bed-Stuy.
I'll beat people from all over: Chinatown Rikers the Village Even though I was a nerd, it felt really good that there was one thing that nobody could beat me at.
Chris, somebody beat your score last night.
Hey, even Mike Tyson got knocked out.
Ain't this about My mother had paying bills down to a science, but there were always things she didn't count on.
Aah, damm it! Hey, honey.
Hey, baby.
What's wrong? Well, I used this month's phone bill to pay half of last mont's electric bill, and now I don't have enough for the gas bill.
Well, why don't you just use the electric bill money to pay the electric bill? Well, Tonya had to get a filling.
She had a cavity.
She did? My father never knew when there was anything wrong with the kids unless we were unconscious or in the hospital.
Oh Oh, no, no, no.
We're gonna have to cut back.
Cut back on what? I mean, we're barely getting by as it is.
That look only meant one thing.
Oh, no.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh, not my turtles.
You are not taking away my turtles.
My mother love chocolate turtles more than anything else in the world.
Whenever she ate one, it was like all of life's problems just went away.
It's a good thing she chose those turtles instead of guns.
Those chocolate turtles are costing us $12 a box.
You gotta take away my turtles.
You know I need my turtles.
Why don't you cut off your lottery playing? I ain't cutting off my number.
Oh! If you don't play, how can you expect to win? Look, it says so right here.
Oh, no, no, no.
No that damned dream book.
My dad was the most level-headed person I knew, except when it came to playing the lottery, and he always consulted his lucky star dream book.
A dream book takes any possible dream you can have and transforms it into a lucky number.
You dreamt about a monkey on the train in the middle of a blizzard.
Here it is-- eight-one-four! I dreamt Dr.
J was roller-skating with two white women in Sweden.
Here it is-- sx-two-one.
White ladies? Rochelle, if I win the lottery, you can buy all the chocolate turtles you want.
But you eating chocolate turtles ain't helping nobody.
Well, if you're playing the lottery, I'm eating my turtles.
All right I'll quit the lottery.
Okay, then.
Can you believe this is a real argument At school, even Greg was getting a reputation.
And for "Best Attendance" Gregory Wuliger! Yes! Getting an award for attendance is kind of like getting an award for breathing.
Wait, your dad is giving you $5 just for coming to school? I bet him I wouldn't miss a day of school this year.
So far so good.
My mother told me I'd better not miss a day of school or else she'd take $5 off my ass.
This is so cool.
The only award I could've gotten at Corleone would've been For "Taking the Best Ass Whooping" Chris.
But instead of an award, I had Asteroids.
Hey, I got the top five scores on Asteroids yesterday.
Get out of here.
No way.
Yeah, but some kid beat me.
I gotta protect my title.
Man, you're just like Apollo Creed in Rocky II.
You sure you can beat this guy? Eh, I've got a reputation to maintain.
Hey, Tonya, ask Daddy for some money so we can get some candy tomorrow.
How come you can't ask? Because if I ask, he'll give me a speech.
If you ask, he'll give you the money.
If Daddy gives me the money, you have to share some of that candy.
Okay.
Six Daddy.
Huh? What? Can I have a dollar? What do you need a dollar for? I want to get Drew some, um some candy.
Oh that's nice.
My father was crazy about Tonya.
She was the only one in the house who would dare take sleep and money from him at the same time.
Thanks, Daddy.
In Bed-Stuy, we never had a real video arcade to go to.
All we had was Doc's.
At Doc's, you can get almost anything.
You could cash a check.
That would be $5.
You could get an alibi.
Nah, it wasn't him.
He was here.
That'll be $5.
You could even get your teeth pulled.
Open.
Your mama know you're down here? Yes, sir.
My mother didn't like me hanging out at Doc's 'cause she thought that would eventually lead to this.
I'm a junkie.
A crackhead.
Look, just tell my ma her oldest son is a crackhead.
Hey! Little dude from across the street.
Usually Jerome would rob me, but not when I was about to play Asertoids.
You getting ready to play Asteroids? Yes.
Some guy beat my score.
For real? Oh, no! I know you're not gonna take that, man.
You'd better protect your rep.
If I didn't get my high score back, somebody was gonna get hit with a brick.
You're Chris.
Hey, he's big.
So you're Doah.
Doah.
That's DOA.
It means "Dead On Arrival.
" My name is Jorge.
So what, you want to play? Come on.
I know it looks strange, but before peple got play stations in their backseats, you actually have to go someplace to play video games.
All right, man, that was a good game.
Hey, where are you going? I gotta get home.
What, you're not gonna give him a rematch? Yeah, you can' t just beat the man and walk out.
Hey, I really gotta go.
Besides, I'll just beat him again.
Want to put some money on that? If you have a good reputation, you have to be willing to do anything to protect it.
I can't play for money.
Don't tell me you're scared.
I'm not.
I just gotta go home.
Hey, I can't believe you.
You're scared of this dude.
Come on, yo, get home, come on.
Anybody got five bucks? Hey! I need a favor.
I need to borrow your five dollars.
What? What do you need it for? I beat this kid playing Asteroids, and now he wants to play for money.
Can't you just save up your lunch money? Or take your neighbor's garbage out? Or help small ladies carry groceries to their car.
Or turn in some Coke bottles or something.
Note yourself when begging, be persistent.
Hey, I don't have time for this.
You got to do this, or my reputation's gonna be ruined.
I wonder if that's how O.
J.
got A.
C.
to drive that Bronco.
Thanks.
After a day with no turtles, my mother was going through serious sugar withdrawal.
She'd eat any sugar she could find.
From anywhere she could find it.
All I can tell you is that crack ain't got nothin' on chocolate turtles.
Here.
Drew was getting his fix, too.
I know you're giving me more than that.
You're not supposed to be eating candy, anyway.
You just got a filling.
I'm telling Mama! Some people had rum, my mom had Aunt Jemima.
Mama, see? Drew got some candy, and this is all he gave me-- - three piec Ma! - Candy? Did you say candy? - Yeah? - Drew, get in here! You got candy? - Ma! - Don't "Ma" me.
Don't "Ma" me right now, boy.
Do you have anything in here that - that tastes like turtles? - No.
Something that has chocolate, peanuts, caramel, - something like that? - I don't know.
Well, where in the world did you get money for candy? Daddy.
Oh! Now, that's what I'm talking about.
What he's actually talking about is which one of us he's gonna rob after we get through with the game.
- Ha! - Oh, whoa! - Wh-Wh-What's wrong with you! - Turtles! I ain't got my turtles! I'm over here drinking syrup while you're still buying lottery tickets.
What's wrong with me! What's wrong with you?! Baby, I did it for you.
Julius, we both had an agreement.
And you have to honor that agreement.
Do you know what kind of message we are sending to our children?! - Message? - You're telling our kids, "Oh, go ahead, little children, ignore your mother, 'cause she's a lunatic"! - I didn't say that! - Yes, you did! What I meant was, it's just it's it's just a couple of dollars.
Are we cutting back? Or am I cutting back.
'Cause I can't do it by myself.
Ah, baby, no, baby.
I feel alone No, no, we-we're cutting back, we're cutting back, okay? I'm sorry.
We can do this! We can do this.
I get the shakes at night, Julius, I get the shakes! It's all right, we can do this.
Okay.
Okay.
Fine.
Yeah, baby! Oh, yeah, baby! Watch out, let me through.
Good game.
You almost had him.
You got a lot of heart, little dude.
I wonder if I could sell my heart for five dollars.
You lost? How can you lose? Hey, I'll pay you back-- I'll carry some groceries or return some soda bottles or something.
That crap'll take forever! Well, why'd you tell me to do it? Because I didn't want to give you my money? I'm as surprised as you are.
No.
I'd say you're about five bucks less surprised than I am.
He's starting to sound like my father.
Hey.
I'm gonna pay you back.
It'll take a couple of weeks, but I will.
You got to play him again.
No.
I don't think so.
What about your rep? I've got a new one: sucker.
Come on.
I missed being the Asteroids champ of Bed-Stuy.
Without that, I was just another bum from the neighborhood.
My father wouldn't usually admit he was wrong about things, at least not in front of the kids.
I have something to say.
I thought he was about to tell us he was leaving us for a white family across town.
I'm sorry.
What'd you do? After your mother gave up her chocolate turtles so we could pay the bills I played the lottery.
I shouldn't have done that.
I was wrong.
Is that why she ate up all our candy? I should've never given you money for candy.
Dad, um, it's not all her fault.
I asked her to do it.
But only because I knew you'd give it to her.
How'd you know that? Because you give her everything she wants.
That's not true.
One time I asked if I could set Chris on fire, and he didn't let me do that.
Well, thank goodness for that.
I have a confession, too.
I've been hanging out at that corner store.
- Chris - But I was only playing Asteroids.
O h.
Well, that ain't so bad.
And I lost five dollars.
What?! Five dollars? Ooh I'm telling! Now, who are you gonna tell? We're all sitting right here.
How did you lose five dollars, boy? Where did you get five dollars? I bet a guy playing Asteroids, and and I got the five dollars from Greg.
What are you doing betting on video games? I was trying to protect my reputation.
You have a reputation? Yeah.
I am the best player on the block.
Then how come you didn't win? Because you need to be quiet, that's why! Don't tell me to be Hey, hey, that's enough.
It's your problem.
You borrowed it, you pay it back.
I am.
Well, I know I better not hear no more about you betting money, - you hear me? - Yes, ma'am.
All right.
Mama, can we have our candy No! I ate it.
I don't need y'all getting any more cavities than what y'all got.
No cavities in this house.
But at this rate, there'll be plenty of diabetes.
Needs some more sugar.
You all right? Yeah, I'm just tired.
I had this weird dream last night and couldn't fall back to sleep.
Dream, huh? Yeah, it was bizarre.
I was walking down the street, waving hello to everybody, but nobody was waving back.
It was as if they couldn't see me.
So you were invisible? Yeah.
Mama had turtles, Daddy had the lottery.
Oh, that's right It's a wonder nobody sold the TV.
I need you to go to the corner store after school and buy a lottery ticket for me.
Six-three-seven.
- Yeah, but you said you weren't - I know what I said! Huh? I've just got a feeling about this.
Just shut up and do what I tell you.
Now, keep this between me and you, all right? Six-three-seven, all right? And keep the ticket on you.
Go! Go, go, go! He hadn't been that excited about a dream since Martin Luther King's.
What do you need today? My father played the lottery a thousand times and lost a thousand times.
I had only lost my rep once, and I wasn't about to let that happen again.
Give me four quarters.
Now you're talking.
Want to play me for some more money? I don't have any money.
I just want to prove I can beat you.
No Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! One-zero, sucka! ha! Good game, man.
You should've bet me, though.
If I had bet him, I couldn't help but think that this would've happened.
Ah, I'm hungry.
Looks, good, huh? Who are you? I'm Jorge.
I won your family from Chris playing Asteroids.
I told Chris to stay out of that store.
- Can you cook mofongo? - What? - What'd you call her? - Come tu comida.
I was raised around Puerto Ricans? There's something about defending your reputation that makes you feel like you really accomplished something.
And even though I didn't get Greg's money back, I had my rep.
Even though my father never won the lottery, it always made him feel like there was one thing in the world he had a shot at winning.
And to him, that dollar was worth it.
And tonight's winning numbers are Six three seven.
I won! I won! I won! - What happened? - My number hit! Chris, show your mama the ticket.
Show your mama the ticket, man! Show your mama the ticket.
Mama! FOROM.
COM