Everybody Hates Chris s02e13 Episode Script

You've remembered to put an action pair of socks on, right? Yes, ma'am.
Today New York City's picked a lot of snow, and it's coming down fast, We've had 6 inches reported in the last hour in Manhattan, 4 inches in Park Slope.
Moma do I have to go to school? It's snowing like crazy.
It's snow, Chris, not an armageddon.
Now, hurry up.
You know, the bus isn't gonna be running Slope.
Go.
Because my mother wanted us to get the best education possbile, as long as school was open, we had to go, no matter what.
- Oh, baby, your temperature is 103.
- Can I stay home from school? No.
Just put this ice pack under your head.
You'll be alright.
- Oh, baby, I think you got food poisoning.
- Can I stay home from school? No, drink this ipecac, you'll be allright.
While I was on the road, Drew and Tonya were on the couch.
Ok, come on, you.
Let's go.
for a high school and Saint Seraphine Elementary, in Bedford-Stuyvesant later school closing include Lindell Elementary, Lamar Sandford Jr.
High, and Donovaine Elementary.
It - Yeeeeeaaah! - Oooh, Yes! - What if I- - Yeeah! We're stayin'- - It's cold out there.
What's going on? - away from school! We're stayin' from school! Our school just closed.
- What? - Yeah! We're gonna stay home! - Yeah! - Where's Chris? - He already left.
- His school's not closed? - Well, they didn't mention it on the news.
- Is he gonna be allright? I'm sure he'll be fine, baby.
Move up, I gotta go, I'll let your practice on the stall.
- Wait, Drew and Tonya gonna be here all day? - What, you got another home to take them to? I gotta go,baby, I'm late.
Smack! * We're stayin' home from school * Meanwhile, there were more kids in my house than there were out in my school! Hello?! Is anyone here? I wouldn't put a pass all the other kids to hide from me.
Everybody Hates Chris - Season 2 Episode 13- Everybody Hates Snow Day Woow! Man, what is wrong with you sticking up on people? Chris, what are you doing here? - School was cancelled, today.
- Since when? - They announced it about an hour ago.
- I left the house an hour and half ago.
Well, I suppose we should see about getting you home.
Even though Principal Edwards had travelled the world, he couldn't get me back to Brooklyn.
- I'm sorry, Chris.
I can't let you go.
- Why not? Our phones are out.
You're not allowed to leave school without the consent of a parent or guardian.
So you say the only reason why I can't leave is 'cause I'm here? That, my friend, is a paradox.
Sounds more like C-Block.
Why would your mother allow you to go out in a weather like this? She's crazy.
- Doesn't like us to miss school.
- Let's not disappoint her.
While I was getting snowed in, back at home the world was out.
We repeat: city buses are experiencing delays about to 4 hours, due to closing, and hazardous conditions.
Now, here's a list of all later school closures.
Corleone Jr.
High- - Daddy, look, Chris' school's closed.
- What? - See, it says "Corleone Jr.
High School" - If his school's closed, - how come he hasn't called? - Maybe he got trapped in a snowdrift, and head is on a mountain survive.
That's a thought! - Where you goin'? - I'm goin' to get your brother.
- Who's gonna stay with us? - Oh, I'll be right back.
Even though the weather was horrible, my mother liked ridin' the subway.
Being with strangers was a lot less stressful than being with your family.
- This is a stickup! - Aaaaaaaaaagh! Shut up! Oh, damn! Oh, damn! We're returning from a sudden stop, if you all remain seated, we are on the way to keep with it.
Oh damn! - Well? - Well nothin'! - This is still a stickup! - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Will you be quiet?! I was the only one in school, but principal Edwards handled things by the book.
He took attendence.
Caroline? Chris? Yes.
Chris Eddie? We said the Pledge of Allegiance.
- One nation, under God, indivisible.
- One nation, under God, indivisible.
- With liberty, and justice for all.
- With liberty, and justice for all.
Since I was the only one in class, he let me say the black Pledge of Allegiance.
One nation, under the groove, getting down just for the funk of it.
One nation, we're on the move, nothing can stop us now.
After lunch, we're sayin' Uncle Boogie.
After that, we got down to serious business.
All right, class first up, I'm giving you a quiz on Pearl Harbour.
- What? Mrs.
Marella didn't have a quiz planned for today.
Consider it a surprise just like Pearl Harbour.
Eyeees on your own paper.
My father could'nt leave Drew and Tonya home alone, because if you pull that home alone crap in a black neighborhood, they take away your kids.
- Can I help you? - I was looking for Mr.
Omar.
Oh, hey, Mr.
Julius, yeah this is, uhm, my friend, this is Bookie.
- I'm sorry about your husband.
- Yeah, I call it deahtly case of botulism.
- Tragic, tragic - How do you- Baby, why don't you go and put that record on for me? Okay, hehe - Yeah, well, so wha-what can I do for you? - I need to pick Chris up from school, and I was wondering if you can keep an eye on Drew and Tonya till I get back.
Mr.
Omar had another back to keep an eye on.
- Can-can't you get somebody else, man? - I really need your help, buddy.
All you gotta do is check on 'em, that'll be easy, I promise.
Big on a busy.
- Mhm, I don't know, man.
- I'll take 10$ off the ring.
- I'll be down in a minute.
- Thank you.
Any questions? Anyone? Yes, Chris.
I'm the only one in the entire city that's in school, so why should I have to learn when everybody else is sitting on their couch watching "The price is right"? Chris, the true measure of a man, is not what he does when he's being watched, it's what he does when he is alone.
Technically, this isn't a real school day, if you haven't noticed, I'm not supposed to be here, so what's that take classes? All right do whatever you want.
So you saying, that if I get up and walk outta that door, you won't do anything to stop me? No.
Goodbye.
As I was storming up, the storm outside was picking up.
I haven't seen a ceil white like this since the Republican National Convention.
Come on! In the bag! Put in the bag! Get to the back! Come on! My mother had lost her money, but there was only so much she can take.
- Good day to rob a train, huh? - Watch your mouth! What? You've already took my money, what else you gonna take? My seat? - I might shoot you! - And you might go to jail! You got 6 bullets and 9 passengers, which leaves 3 witnesses, and 25 years to life.
- Don't shoot her, shoot me! - Don't tell me who to shoot! - Why you tryin' to get shot? - Shut up! - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! - Will you be quiet? Sit down! While my mother was pushing her luck, Mr.
Omar was trying to pull a fast walk.
Heeey, I got peanut butter jelly, frap, bologna, cool aid and chips.
The homish healthier special.
- Anything else? - I thought you were supposed to be staying with us.
I told your father I would check on ya, so I'm checkin' on ya.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- All right, so I'll be back - to check on ya again.
- Mr.
Omar? - Can you make me some hot chocolate? - Aaah, okay, hot chocolate it is.
- Oh, Mr.
Omar? - Uh-huh.
- Could you please make me some cheese toast? - Cheese toast and hot chocolate, okay, great.
While Mr.
Omar was stuck babysitting, my father was just playing stuck.
Should have bought those snow tires.
My father was willing to break the elements to save his son, but to save money he bought the cheapest tires known to man.
He's the only black out in the whiteout.
Ouch! With too much snow to stay outside, I went back inside to find "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Principal".
- Principal Edwards? - Shhaa! - I Thought you left.
- Yeah, but I came back.
Hyaaa! Captain Obvious strikes again.
Hooohaa! - I'm sorry.
- Are you really? You did what you wanted to do.
Shoooyaaaa! Just didn't work out the way you planned.
- Fffffshhh! - It's not like I don't wanna take my classes, I haven't missed a day at school all year! I work hard! It's just that the one day I can spend at home relaxing, I'm stuck here with you! So, what's the point doing schoolwork today? - You know what? You're right.
- I am? Sure you are.
So, what now? Ninja lessons! - Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
- Look here, if you're going to keep talkin about gettin shot, you need to sit over there somewhere.
I'm sorry, I figured I didn't have much to lose.
Why? Yesterday it was my 61st birthday, and nobody in my family called.
I presented to the Brooklyn Bridge, - to jump off, and - You wanted to jump off the bridge, 'cause you didn't get a phone call? No wonder they didn't call you! You're selfish! 61 years old man going to jump off the bridge, 'cause he didn't get a phone call.
I wouldn't call you either.
It's too much pressure.
You don't know anything about me.
I know you're too damn old to be jumping off bridges.
Well, that's none of your business anyway! Wait a minute, you're the one standin'up talkin'bout "Don't shoot her, shoot me!" Well, then why didn't you let him shoot me? I'm not going to have people thinking you saved my life.
You ain't nothing but a big baby! And, Scarface, whatever you do, don't shoot him! No, could you shoot me please? It's the only way my boss is gonna believe this.
Since we had done a little work, Principal Edwards decided we could have a little fun.
Back at home, Drew and Tonya were Monopolyzing all of Mr.
Omar's time.
Ah, Boardwalk with the hotel.
Looks like somebody owes me 2000$.
- Damn, tragic.
- Ahm, Mr.
Omar, how come everytime we see you with a woman, their husband just died? Well, that's beacuse I'm a funeral director, baby.
But when the wives die, how come you don't make friend with their husbands? Well, man don't need as much attention.
Man, if my wife died, I'd be crying, sitting at home by myself, wondering where I'm gonna do, how to go on, I'd be wishing anybody would talk to me.
Ooh, why man are sensitive, you know, in a different kind of way.
Ooh, I thought the women were like that because they're desperate.
Roll the dice, baby.
This wasn't so bad, after all.
Hey, you know, that's a cool vase.
It's 3 centuries old.
Wow, so what all those markings mean? They represent honor.
They didn't till Paris Hilton tattoed the more high ass.
- I wanted this for my wife.
- You're married? I was.
We split up a few years ago.
She took the money, and I kept the vase.
Diggers! - This vase changed my life.
- How was that? It taught me one of life's great lesson, "All that we have been or done, is in the past".
"Live in the now".
- What? - Aahhh! I wonder what his zen philosphy has to say about crazy glue.
Girl, what you crying about? All he said was "Be quiet".
It's not that, I I just broke up with my fiancee.
- The shrink looks pretty cheap.
- It is, cheap.
So that's why you broke up with him, cause he doesn't have any money? No, I broke up with him because I wanted him to get a job, he thinks he's gonna be a movie director.
At least he ain't out robbin' trains.
And get this, he took my credit card to make his last film.
Now, how you gonna make a movie on a credit card? What's Mr.
Movie Director's name? Shelton.
Now, how you gonna be a movie director with a name like "Shelton".
- His friends call him "Spike".
- Oh, girl, that's worst.
Trust me, you can do better than a black man named "Spike".
Try and find a guy with a nice name, like like like Orenfo.
Oh, that's nice.
She later became the first black girl in history, to be bled she was a white.
The snow stopped the traffic, but it couldn't stop Risky.
- Julius, Julius! - Risky? What you doing out here, man? Chris is stuck at school.
I gotta get him.
- Could you help me out? - Oh sorry, no room man.
Me and my man Nanouk are here trying to make money on this cross-country skis.
You want a pair? How much? You know I didn't mean to brake it? It's OK.
It's just a vase.
A vase that changed my life.
Sometimes I wish I can change my life.
Go places like you.
Get away from the school.
- The neighbourhood Caruso - Doesn't work like that.
As long as you are you, there will always be a Caruso.
I thought about living in Japan.
In London.
Morocco.
So, what should I do? Just because you are you, doesn't mean you can't be somebody else.
That's called schizophrenia! Now what about you? I mean, you travelled all around the world, why did you come back to be a principal? I'm gonna tell you a story that I have never told anyone else.
Not my wife, my priest, my shrink.
Noone.
I hope he doesn't say "If I did it, here is how it happened".
It all began in a pancake house, in Minneapolis.
Hey Chris.
What are you guys doing down there? Nothing, just talking.
What are you doing here? Oh, I called your house and Drew said you were here.
I can't believe it, so I'd come and check for myself.
Hip.
Think I will step outside check on the weather see about getting you home, Chris.
Yeah, I Good good talking to you, Greg.
You too, Principal Edwards.
Omar, can I talk to you a second? Oh, I'll be right back.
Monopoly wasn't all he was losing.
How much longer are you gonna be down here? Oh, why Drew is playing, always longer.
He got me for 2000$.
I can't come here to hear you talking about Monopoly.
- Mr.
Omar, the shooter.
- Oh, here I come.
Look, I told Mr.
Julius I would watch the kids, and that's what I'm gonna do, I'm sorry.
You are watching the kids? I'm going home.
We will take those bombs off as well as no shoes, or you ain't gonna make it.
Excuse me, ah, Scarface.
Can I talk to you for a minute? My mother never talked to anyone for just a minute.
Now, you're sure you wanna do this? What difference does it make to you? Why didn't your mother teach you better, than that go around robbing people? She's the one who taught me how to rob people.
Well, if I was your mother I would have knocked the rob out of you a long time ago.
- Listen to her, she's a good person.
- Hear that? I just wish I met her before I got my wife's sister pregnant.
You got your wife's sister pregnant? Oh, just once! All I'm saying is, is that you're better than this.
Can Alicia's son and your nephew ain't the same person? Thank you.
Rochelle? When you get home, call my dad and tell them I'm on the way.
No problem.
Now well, see you, I'm in chiller.
The Invincible was heading for me, but I was just like getting for my father.
Chris! I'm here! Chris! I'm here! Chris! I'm here to take you home.
Chris! Most days we were together, we couldn't wait to be apart, but every now and again, it felt really good to be together.
Was cold out there today.
That snow was crazy.
I went all the way to your school, what happened to you? I was the only one there, so as soon as I could leave, I left.
Oh, you're not gonna believe what happened to me today.
- I got robbed.
- What?! Yes, this guy kept me on the train for like 5 hours.
Took all my money.
- How much did you have? - A dollar.
Oh, that sounds just like Drew.
We were playing Monopoly, and Drew took all Mr.
Omar's money.
- Mr.
Omar was here? - Yeah, he watched us after dad left.
When did you leave? Right after you left.
- Just not getting back? - I went to get you After spending the whole day inside with Principal Edwards, I no longer felt like an outsider.
I had a new friend.
You're late.
What? Retarded sleep? But what about yesterday? That was in the past, we're in the now, Chris, and now you're late.
See you in detention.