Family Ties (1982) s01e03 Episode Script

003 - I Know Jennifer's Boyfriend

I bet we've been together for a million years and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed and I can't remember what I ever did before what would we do, baby without us? what would we do, baby without us? and there ain't no nothin' we can't love each other through ooh-hoo what would we do, baby without us? sha-la-la-la hey.
Hey, what are you doing with my paper? I need it, Alex.
We're going to recycle it.
Wait till it's been cycled first, okay? It's this kind of militant behavior that gives you environmentalists a bad name.
Environmentalists don't have a bad name! They do with Alex.
The whole idea of recycling is ridiculous.
It's a waste of time.
Listen, Alex, this planet's in real danger.
There's a limitation to the earth's resources.
Unless we all do our share, the entire life-support structure is in danger of collapsing and destroying life on earth as we know it.
Grow up, will you, Jennifer? Bad news, kids No sweets, no treats, no meats.
Lots of yogurt Some stuff from Bulgaria.
It's not from Bulgaria, Mallory.
It is bulgur.
It's a fine grain, and it's rich in vitamins, minerals, and iron.
Looks like cattle food.
Hi, Justin.
Hi.
Can you stay for dinner? Gee I wish I could.
Maybe some other time.
Hello? Mrs.
Perkins? Justin, your mother's not here Why don't you guys just stop calling, okay? Ha ha ha.
My side hurts from laughing.
I am not! Am not! So are you! Wrong number.
I thought so.
Actually, it's these kids from school.
They're making fun of us because Jennifer and I like to play together.
They call me Mrs.
Perkins, and they sing, * I know Jennifer's boyfriend stupid-heads.
I know that kind of teasing can really hurt.
How are you holding up, Justin? Frankly, I'm above it.
I know that the other kids find it strange that me and Jennifer are such good friends, but we'd be friends no matter what.
The fact that Jennifer's a girl just makes it more exciting to me.
You're gonna do real well in high school, you know? Well, this will cheer you up, anyways.
I've got a terrific idea for your birthday party.
If it's your idea, it's going to involve boys.
Well, of course it involves boys.
I mean, a bunch of girls sitting around is not a party.
It's a wake.
Now, where did you get an attitude like that? I have a great time when I'm just with my women friends.
Well, that's different, mom.
You're married.
It's over for you.
Do me a favor and don't tell your father.
Anyway, my idea is to have a '50s party.
Funny music and funny skirts You put grease in your hair, and you look really silly.
It's neato.
I don't know.
I never heard of the '50s.
Hello.
Hi, Justin.
Hi, sweetie.
Oh, great.
You got bulgur.
Ugh.
You guys really stick together, don't you? Hello? Mrs.
Perkins? Is your mother here, Justin? Just for your information, we happen to be above this, you baby! Says you! Am not! I have a feeling I missed something.
Well, the other kids have been teasing Jennifer because she plays with Justin.
Yeah, they've been calling here all afternoon.
Oh, but they're just jealous, that's all.
Well, you have to admit, though, it I a little bit unusual.
I mean, you know, an intersexual relationship at that age.
Sounds unusual at any age.
Let me get it.
Now, listen.
This is going to have to stop.
This is our home, and your calling here is childish, it's annoying, and we really don't appreciate the intrusion in our lives.
It's your mother.
Well, Jennifer's feeling a little better.
Oh, that's good.
At least the phone stopped ringing, anyway.
Great.
I think it's gonna be quite a while before my mother calls again.
Apparently, something good has come out of this.
It's a little sad, though, isn't it? After all that's happened in the past 15 years or so Eliminating sexual stereotypes, improved communication between men and women And, still, don't get along very well.
I don't know.
Did you play with girls when you were 10? Of course not.
What do I look like, a sissy? That was different.
That was before "sesame street," before consciousness-raising, before Ms.
magazine What we men like to refer to as "the good old days.
" Is that so? Actually, no.
These are the good old days.
Mm-hmm.
Mmm.
Would you guys cut it out? There are young children in the house.
I've seen worse.
Why does this bother you so much? Well, 'cause you guys are old.
I mean, it's just not something that parents should be doing.
At least those are normal kisses.
Unlike when your friends are here.
Jennifer! You should see it.
They try to bite each other's tongues off.
Jennifer! It's called Dutch kissing.
I thought I'd barf.
I'm going out to get a hamburger.
I'll come with you.
Where you going? You just had dinner.
No, I just had bulgur, lentils, mixed Greens.
That's only dinner if you're a heifer or a gerbil.
You coming, Jen? No, I got to get these papers wrapped.
We're going to recycle them tomorrow.
What are you gonna do with the money you raise? We're gonna donate them to the wildlife preservation fund.
This is your influence.
You realize that, I hope.
I gather you're against recycling? It's just interfering with the natural order of things, that's all.
Look, look, a man goes out and he buys something.
He keeps it for a while, he uses it, he enjoys it, then he gets tired of it, he throws it away, and he buys a new one.
I mean, that's nature.
Thank you, ranger Rick.
See ya.
So, you excited about your birthday? I guess.
Oh, come on.
I've seen you more excited on the way to the dentist.
Mom When you were in 4th grade, were there boys? Yeah.
Boys were invented when I was in kindergarten.
They sure make things complicated.
Do you think we really need them? Come on.
Boys are okay.
What about your daddy? He was a boy once.
I find that hard to believe.
What about Justin? He's a boy, and he's awfully nice.
That's two in the whole history of boys.
What about Alex? Give me a break! Chrissy says if I'm gonna play with Justin all the time, she doesn't want to be my friend.
That's what Dana and Maria say, too.
Wait you can't let other people decide who your friends are gonna be.
I know it, but I don't want to lose them.
And I still want to be Justin's friend, too.
Well, hang in there.
A good friend's hard to find.
A good man's even harder.
Yeah, yeah.
Those all sound like good choices.
Elvis? Right.
Right.
Chuck Berry? Good.
Snooky lanson? I don't think so.
I-it's nothing against snooky, it's just that I don't think we need any more records.
He'll perform live? Uh, no, let's just go with what we've got.
A-all right.
Thanks.
We're all set.
The jukebox will have 50 of the biggest hits of the '50s "Earth angel" by the penguins, "heartbreak hotel," Elvis Presley, "twilight time," the platters, "maybellene" by Chuck Berry, and if you call now, we'll include "Eddie my love" by the fabulous teen queens.
You're two minutes too late, kid.
Mom and dad were really being silly.
You missed it.
I'm sure I'll get another chance.
How'd it go at the recycling center? We unloaded a whole trunk full of newspapers, and that's what they gave us.
A lot of good 77 cents is going to do the bald eagle.
It won't even buy him a cheap cap.
You know, I desperately need some loose change.
If you would let me take those coins and take this dollar bill instead, you'd be doing me a very big favor.
Okay.
You know, I don't have any ones at all.
And and if you would give me that $1 for this $5, I'd really appreciate it.
Okay.
I think I can get you your 77 cents back.
Hey! Just kidding.
I'll talk to you about it later, all right? Hey, wasn't Justin coming home with you? No, they dropped me off.
Didn't you say he was gonna be here for dinner? No.
Yes.
I mean, I said it but I didn't.
I don't understand.
Okay, here's the story.
Justin's history Yesterday's news.
Adiós, amigo.
"Good night, Irene.
" What are you talking about? Justin was your best friend this morning.
That was a long time ago, before I knew he was a boy! Oh, I get it.
Jennifer, this doesn't seem like look, I think I know who my friends are, and he's a boy! He just won't be around anymore, okay? Leave me alone! Score one for peer pressure.
I can't believe this newspaper.
What? This headline is incredibly slanted and misleading.
They never give the other side.
"Widowed mother of 12 denied food stamps.
" There's another side to this story? It's just the way they cover it, that's all.
They make it so cold and impersonal.
"When questioned, the commissioner replied, 'hey, these things happen.
That's the breaks.
Next case.
'" you're right.
They missed the warmth entirely.
Uh, Justin called for you four times.
Thanks.
Aren't you gonna call him back? I'll see him at school.
And if I miss him there, I'll drop him a card.
Hey! Everything's set for the party tomorrow Records, posters, pez.
I can't think of anything else we need.
I can think of something we don't need.
What? Boys! Now, does this have anything to do with the teasing and the phone calls? No.
I just think we'd have more fun if there were only girls.
When's that line of thinking gonna change? Even if you wanted to, it's too late.
All the invitations are out, and some of the boys have accepted.
We could move.
Jennifer.
Hello, Jennifer.
Hi, Justin.
Bye, Justin.
Wait a minute! I'd like to talk to you.
I-I can't.
I can't talk.
I'll see you later.
Bye.
That didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped.
I'm sorry, Justin.
She doesn't want to see me.
I think it's just a phase.
You know? I'm sure it'll change.
She doesn't want to see me because I'm a boy.
That's not gonna change.
Sure it will.
Well, not the part about you being a boy, but her attitude will change.
What bothers me the most is that I really miss her.
She's a very special person, and I really feel the absence of her in my life.
This guy can't be only 9.
Justin, I am sorry.
I-I-i apologize for Jennifer's behavior.
Mr.
Keaton, would you mind walking me home? I-I don't really feel like being alone right now.
I can come along, too, if you'd like.
If you don't mind, I was hoping Mr.
Keaton and I could have a little guy talk.
What do you say? Sure.
That's fine with me.
Let's go.
You want to stop somewhere and have a beer? Well Okay, maybe just one.
But if I start acting silly, take me home.
Can we talk? Sure, but not about how dirty my room is, okay? Can we talk about when you're gonna clean it up? There are so many more interesting things to talk about, don't you think? Shouldn't some of this be put away? Simba and I are of the belief that all animals Even stuffed ones Should be allowed to roam free.
Well, I'm gonna talk to her when I finish talking to you.
I don't think you were very nice to Justin this afternoon.
I think you owe him an apology.
Okay, I'll apologize because I wasn't very nice.
But that doesn't mean I have to be his friend.
I have a right to pick my own friends, don't I? But you did pick Justin as a friend, and for really good reasons He's he's thoughtful, he's sweet, he's Don't get carried away, okay, mom? He's not Alan alda.
I don't like being teased, mom People laughing, pointing fingers, putting signs on my back "if found, return to Justin Perkins.
" I know that's hard, but y-you got to learn to stand up to stuff like that.
It's particularly important for women to be strong in areas like that.
You're not gonna put the pressure of the whole women's movement on me, are you? No, dear, but I do think it's important for boys and girls to be friends.
That way, maybe when they grow up, they'll know how to be friends as men and women.
That doesn't happen now? Not a lot.
Not enough.
How come? There's a lot of role-playing going on Women playing at being all cute and helpless, men playing at being tough and and always in control.
That's crazy.
But, see, that's what we were taught.
I remember when I was 15 my mother telling me the definition of a young lady.
A young lady always says "please" and "thank you," she always laughs at a young man's jokes, and a young lady never beats a boy in sports.
Good thing we don't have any young ladies on our soccer team.
This boy/girl stuff is pretty complicated business, huh? You ain't seen nothin' yet.
Wait till you get to be a teenager.
Am I gonna be like Mallory and get crazy for clothes and movie stars? I think you're gonna be like Jennifer.
What's that? Warm, sweet, funny.
Doesn't sound like any teenager I know.
See, you and Justin are friends.
You like each other.
Y-you have fun together.
That should be what matters.
I want to do it, mom.
I do.
But I don't know if I can.
Well Sleep on it.
Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! Hey, fonzie.
Can you give me a hand here? Uh, I don't know how to break this to you, dad, but the last wave left about an hour ago.
Just give me a hand, will ya? I can't believe people actually dressed like this.
In those days, a jacket like that was a symbol of rebellion, an emblem of an entire generation.
It meant you were tough and that you could hold your own in a rumble.
You have one like this? No, my mother wouldn't let me.
Am I dreaming, or did Sandra Dee just walk in? Moondoggie, is that you?! Hurry, Gidge! Surf's up! Ooh! I hope you two get this out of your system before the guests arrive.
Hey, where is the birthday girl? She's upstairs.
Mallory's putting the final touches on her.
She better hurry.
Kids will be here any minute.
Everything's all set.
Ain't this a beauty? This is exactly like the one they had at the paradise hotel in Atlantic city when I worked there in 1959.
That was a great summer! Yeah.
Hey, wait a minute.
I didn't know you in 1959.
I-I-it would have been a better summer if I had known you.
Better than great? Jennifer! You can't go out with only one lip done! I don't like it.
It feels like I have jelly on me.
Well, you're supposed to look '50s, not punk.
Okay.
All right, all right.
Come on.
They're here.
Can I see your invitations, please? Alex! I don't know these guys.
They could be crashers.
Come on in, guys.
Welcome to the 1950s.
Hope you have as much fun as I did.
All right.
Guys, you look great.
All right, Sam.
Hey, fantastic.
Look at that outfit.
Hey, ladies.
How are you? Oh.
I think I detect a trend here.
Here.
Hey, Jennifer.
Fellas, I got an idea Why don't we, uh, saunter over to the other side of the room here? Come on, come on, come on.
You all know each other.
You're in the same class, right? This is fantastic.
Quite a uh It's gonna be a long night.
Well, 8 out of the 10 boys I interviewed will dance with a girl if asked.
reaganomics a chance.
Alex! You know, I was just thinking, it's interesting the way they're more aware politically than socially.
Can you get them to dance or can't you? Maybe.
But no of them is gonna be the first one out there.
Of the girls I polled, they're willing to dance with boys, if asked, and if the boy is taller.
The s.
A.
L.
T.
Talks couldn't have been this complicated.
I bet they were a lot more fun.
I mean, let's face it This party is dying.
Well, mommy I hope you're satisfied.
Don't get sarcastic with me, Jennifer.
I don't like that.
Tough! I don't talk that way to you.
If something's bothering you, you just come right out and tell me what it is.
Okay.
You ruined my party by inviting the boys here! Oh.
Jennifer, that's not fair.
You always take her side, don't you, daddy? It's "gang up on the kid" time again, huh? Now, Jennifer, I know you're upset with me right now, and, to tell you the truth, I'm not all that thrilled with you.
But if there's gonna be a way out of this tonight, it's gonna come from you.
How? I think you ought to ask Justin to dance.
Be serious! I am.
And I think there are a lot of kids here who will be very happy if someone else makes the first move.
I'm afraid to, mom.
What are you afraid of? People will laugh.
I won't.
I won't.
I won't.
I might.
Just being honest.
Well, let's say that that's the worst thing that happens.
People will laugh.
The best thing that's gonna happen is that you'll dance with Justin, the other kids will dance, and you'll wind up having a terrific party.
I want to, mom.
I really do.
But I don't know if I have the guts.
All right, everybody, this next one is going to be, um, ladies' choice.
can't you see my head is reeling there's so many things I'm feeling don't know what I'm thinking of I'm so in love pardon me will you dance with me, Justin? I thought you'd never ask.
just blame it on the stars above I'm lucky in love don't think we'll ever see our dreams come true want to dance? It's ladies' choice.
I'm cool.
Care to dance, sailor? so easy this helpless mooning bound to be oh, what the hell.
Sentimental fool happy birthday.
like me
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