Family Ties (1982) s02e07 Episode Script

I bet we've been together for a million years and I'll bet we'll be together for a million more oh, it's like I started breathing on the night we kissed and I can't remember what I ever did before what would we do, baby without us? what would we do, baby without us? and there ain't no nothin' we can't love each other through ooh-hoo what would we do, baby without us? sha-la-la-la okay, we're gonna open up the old phone lines now.
Alex, can you give me a ride home? Mallory, will you get a grip? I'm on the air here.
Alex, you don't have to whisper.
Nobody's listening.
The only people who listen to this music died years ago.
Oh, yeah? Well, uh There's a deceased listener now.
Hello.
You're on with Alex.
Yeah, I'd like a large pizza with anchovies, and don't forget Uh, don't, uh Don't forget the number for requests is 555-7955.
Okay.
Hello.
You're on with Alex.
Duke Ellington didn't write "wanderlust" by himself.
It was Johnny Hodges and the Duke.
Well, thank you very much.
It's, uh, thrilling to talk to someone who shares my passion for the sound of swing.
My pleasure, Alex.
Would you play "sweet Lorraine" for me? It's the fifth cut on side one.
Consider it done.
Okay.
Here's a special request for that classic, "sweet Lorraine.
" I've just found joy I want you to know that I'm also a big Alex Keaton fan.
Well you've got great taste.
Listen, uh, would you be interested in going to the Woody Herman concert with me Friday night? Yeah, well, I'm not really in the habit of asking for blind dates, either.
But I-i thought we might have fun.
Great.
Great.
O-okay, uh Yeah.
Lorraine ferrar? All right.
I'll see you then.
Well, Mallory? Big deal, Alex.
She accepted the date.
It's only 'cause she's never seen you.
I'd like to make a special plea.
Mallory Keaton, a sophomore here at Harding high, hasn't had a date since birth.
Anyone out there who wants to take her anywhere, I'll personally give you a dollar.
Now back to the music.
Ah, good evening.
Mrs.
ferrar? Yes? Yeah, I'm Alex Keaton.
I'm taking your daughter, Lorraine, out tonight.
Good evening, Alex.
Won't you come in? Thanks.
I'm Lorraine.
Oh.
Oh! Oh.
Are you surprised, Alex? Surprised? No, no.
What's there to be surprised about? You're Lorraine, huh? Yes, I am.
Okay.
Uh, I'm I'm Alex.
No surprises here.
Well, I'm really looking forward to the concert, and I'm delighted to be going with you.
Well, I'm delighted to be going with me, too.
And you.
Oh, this is my daughter, Melissa.
Melissa, Alex Keaton.
This is your dau Are you surprised? No! No.
She's your daughter.
She's Melissa, you're Lorraine I'm still Alex.
Where's the surprise? Are you gonna be my new daddy? - I'll get that.
- No, no, no.
Hello? Oh, mais oui, Claude.
Merci, Claude.
Au revoir.
It's what I do for a living.
You speak French on the phone.
No.
No, I'm an arbitrageur.
That is, I buy You deal in the simultaneous sale and purchase of equivalent commodities in order to profit from the price discrepancies.
Well, Mr.
Keaton Perhaps destiny has taken a hand this evening.
Well, destiny and I are certainly not strangers.
There is absolutely nothing in this world to compare with the thrill of hearing a big band in person.
Hear, hear.
Plus, I love the way they dress, you know? You can go anywhere with a big band.
But you need a big car.
Uh, Lorraine, I brought you back here tonight to play you my favorite record.
Uh, may I? Well, please.
Okay.
Oh, Alex, I've had a fantastic evening.
I blush to say how long it's been since I laughed like this.
Well, why, uh, why haven't you laughed, Lorraine? Why? Oh, many reasons.
Bad marriage, bad divorce.
I'm I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to pry.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's all right.
I don't mind talking about it.
I don't think he loved me, Alex.
Oh, t-that That's hard to imagine.
We tried to make the marriage last as long as we could.
We had a child to bring up.
Yeah.
I-i know how that is.
You must have been very young when you got married.
Yes, I was.
You've been wondering about my age all evening, haven't you, Alex? Oh, no.
Your age? No.
Your age? Never.
Never entered my mind.
How old do you think I am? Oh, I don't know.
Uh, I'd say about Years old.
I'll be 40 in July.
I'll be 29 in march.
My, my.
And still in high school.
Well, I'm a veteran You know.
Okay, I'm I'm 17.
But they've been Alex, chronological age means nothing to me.
I like that in a woman.
Hey, you want to dance? I thought you'd never ask.
Hey, you're good.
Thank you.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
Oh, mom, dad! Alex, uh, where's your I-I mean I-is I-is this Who's this? Oh, I-I'm sorry.
Mom, dad, this is Lorraine ferrar.
My date.
She's his date, Steven.
Hello.
Yes, it it c-certainly is nice to meet you.
Yes.
I'll say.
Hey, hey, you kids want to dance? - We'll just roll back the rug.
- Nope.
I don't think so.
You think so, Steven? Are you talking to me? Oh, no, no Uh, no no dancing for us.
No.
No, uh Good night.
Yeah.
That's good.
Good night.
Good night.
You say people do that for fun, huh? Oh, Alex, don't be so hard on yourself.
I think you did very well For a first-time skater.
Lorraine, I told you, that's not my first time.
I've been taking lessons for years.
It's just the first time they let me out on the ice, that's all.
Well, how about a movie tonight? "Wild strawberries" is playing at the fjord theatre.
No.
No, Lorraine.
No more Swedish movies.
Everybody's always depressed, and it's always dark out and snowing.
And nobody ever says what they mean.
Well, what kind of movie do you like? I don't know.
Take, uh, take "conan the barbarian.
" Oh, come on, Lorraine.
That was a great movie.
Look, at least you knew who conan was.
You know, you knew he was a barbarian.
You knew his friends were barbarians.
And you knew he wasn't gonna walk into a dark restaurant and order fish.
Alex, Swedish films are meant to be symbolic.
When the priest ordered fish, it meant that he still had faith, that his life still had meaning.
You see, the sea is the origin of life.
I'm not that good at symbolic thought.
You know, I need facts.
I need figures.
I need to see the bottom line.
Oh, Alex, there's more to life than just the bottom line.
There's beauty for its own sake.
There's there's poetry.
There's literature.
There's dance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Remember that play we saw That guy in tights? I-I learned a lot from him.
Well, for one thing, I learned never to wear tights.
Well, thank you, Alex, for putting up with my taste.
Oh, put up? Lorraine I've I've had a great time the past two weeks.
I have, too, Alex.
Really? I-I mean, y-you haven't minded that Well, that I'm not that much a man of the world? No, I've kind of liked it.
It's refreshing.
Ow! Oh! Oh, my foot.
Ah! Ah! It's starting to thaw out.
Oh, here.
Let me rub it for you.
Ah.
Ooh.
There.
Is that better? Yeah.
Um, better.
No, Alex.
It's not the time.
Do you have any idea when it'll be? I-I mean, my schedule's clear for six to eight months.
Alex, let's not complicate this.
It's so nice the way it is With us just friends.
Yeah.
We're making a big thing out of nothing, right? Right.
He's at her house again.
I know.
- Does that bother you? - No.
- Does it bother you? - No, not at all.
She's a friend of our son's.
She's Alex's, uh Girlfriend.
That's right.
She's Alex's Full-grown, frenchwoman girlfriend.
French As in I'amour.
He has got to stop seeing her! That's what we'll tell him the minute he comes in! Hey, mom, dad.
Boy, what a day.
Ice skating, Chinese food, sparkling conversation.
She's the greatest.
I'm telling you, mom, I feel young again.
M-maybe this wasn't the right time to tell him.
Steven, this has definitely gone too far! They've had Chinese food together! We didn't have Chinese food together till we'd been married for two years! Let's just be thankful they haven't had Moroccan food together.
Remember what happened the first time we had that? Hey, hey, hey.
It's got to stop, mom.
All we did was ask him how his old lady was.
Girls, we'd like to talk to Alex.
Good idea let's get this thing out in the open.
Alone? Well, we've never been so insulted in our lives.
But hey.
Shall we, Jen? They're such children.
Alex, your mother and I have been talking.
Hey, good for you.
Lorraine says talking is good for a relationship.
Well, it's funny you should mention Lorraine.
She's what we were talking about.
Oh? We think you should stop seeing her.
- What do you mean? - Alex You're 17 and she's 40.
She is not 40.
She'll be 40 in July.
You don't see any of your old friends.
You're never home.
You lapse into French for no apparent reason! Au contraire, mom.
Alex, we we just don't want to see you get hurt.
Dad, I'm not gonna get hurt.
And there is nothing lurid about this relationship.
She's my friend.
I feel comfortable with her.
It's like being with you, mom.
Well, then spend more time with me.
Don't judge Lorraine without knowing her.
Let let me invite her over for an evening, okay? For dinner.
Please? Okay.
How's Saturday? Swell.
Hi, Melissa.
How's my little girl? Believe me, Alex, staring out the window won't get her here any faster.
Ah! There she is.
What'd I tell you? Uh, mom, Lorraine's here! Yeah.
Dad, sit up.
Good.
Don't slouch.
Try and look like you've been to Europe.
I'll go put on my lederhosen.
Good.
Good.
Oh.
Oh, I can't believe you're gonna wear that.
Why? Were you planning on wearing it? Good evening, Alex.
Good evening, Lorraine.
Welcome to chateau Keaton.
Uh, you remember my mom and dad.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Nice to see you again.
Uh, let's let's sit.
Yeah.
Please.
Right over here, uh, Lorraine.
Okay.
Well Here she is.
Here I am.
- Yes, you are.
- Yes, you are.
Welcome to our son.
Home.
O-our sunny home.
Thank you.
It's a pleasure to be here.
Alex, uh, tells us you're French.
He's right.
Alex, maybe Lorraine would like something to drink.
Oh, yeah.
Uh, would you care for an apéritif? Well, thank you, monsieur.
Yes.
"Monsieur.
" I love that.
Well, you take good care of her.
I shall return.
You are to be commended.
He's been so beautifully brought up.
It's almost as if he's a throwback to another era.
Turn of the century.
There's something I must ask.
I think I know what it is.
Elyse, nobody is more surprised about Alex and me than I am.
Oh, I'm not too sure about that.
My husband is gone, and Alex has turned out to be a great companion for me.
He's brought a certain joie de vivre that I don't think I've ever felt before.
It's thrilling.
That's the way joie de vivre is.
Lorraine I'm happy that you've had a-a good experience You're a mother.
You must know how I feel.
Let me assure you that I have no designs upon Alex beyond friendship.
Lorraine, you've been frank with us, so we'll return the favor.
We feel that you're simply too old for Alex.
Well, I-I'm sorry.
It's nothing personal.
He's letting his schoolwork slide.
He doesn't see any of his old friends.
We feel he should spend more time with someone his own age.
Well, you are his parents.
And if you don't want me to see him, I will abide by your wishes.
T-that doesn't mean you have to leave.
I'm afraid it does.
Good night.
Steven, did we do the right thing? We had to do something.
Where's Lorraine? She's gone.
What do you What do you mean, she's gone? We told her how we felt.
I'm afraid we hurt her feelings.
Oh We didn't mean for her to leave, Alex.
You know You didn't even give her a chance.
You had no right to treat her that way! Alex, we apologize.
I'm very sorry.
"Sorry.
" What good is sorry?! You know, I'm I'm a man.
You have to treat me like a man! Do you understand? You're gonna have to learn to let go.
Dinner is served.
Of course, we can keep it warm.
Be my Lorraine hello? Hi.
Do you have Glen gray's casa loma orchestra playing "tuxedo junction"? I'm only playing "sweet Lorraine" tonight, sir.
Yeah, we're into the second hour of the first annual sweet Lorraine-athon.
And here's the big band all-stars of 1944, with their very special interpretation of "sweet Lorraine.
" I just found joy I'm as happy as a baby boy with another brand-new catchy tune.
Yeah.
when I met w-where have you been? I've been calling you for four days.
I know.
Oh, I, uh, I guess you're angry about the other night.
No.
No, I'm not angry.
I just needed some time to sort things out.
What things? Alex, you're 17 years old.
And I am almost 40.
Does it make any sense at all for us to spend so much time together? Chronological age means nothing, Lorraine.
Uh, a good friend of mine told me that once.
I believed her.
Oh, Alex, you mean so much to me.
I haven't felt so alive in 20 years.
Me either.
Okay, 17.
I know how you feel.
Your parents feel so strongly about this.
I feel uncomfortable going against their wishes.
How do your parents feel about it? Who am I gonna go to Swedish movies with? And my ice skating was really coming along If I could just learn to stop.
Well, we can still see each other from time to time.
But don't stop doing the things you used to do.
Oh.
Uh, you you mean I-i should date girls my own age? Yes, amongst other things.
I just don't want you to stop leading the life of a 17-year-old.
I've never led the life of a 17-year-old.
Give it a try.
I'll try.
Bye.
everything that's beautiful everything that's good and true