Father Brown (2013) s07e10 Episode Script
The Honourable Thief
Thank you.
Please, leave us alone.
It can wear one down, can it not? The heat, I mean.
Yes.
I should be accustomed to it by now, but some days One can barely breathe.
Give me the bite of a Russian winter any day.
I'm not sure I'd go that far.
Nicholai Solovey.
Oh.
Lady Felicia Montague.
I know.
Back in England, I've taken up residence at the Royal Sandford Hotel.
From my balcony, I can see the rooftops of your ancestral estate.
Sadly, the area's beauty has declined somewhat since your - departure.
- Oh, really? [SHE CHUCKLES.]
What reason now have the birds to sing or the flowers to bloom? I must go back inside.
The Deputy Governor will be making his speech and we wouldn't want to miss that.
First I must ask you a question.
As you know, the past few decades have been difficult for my country.
I believe you may be able to help me.
Mr Solovey I fear you over-estimate my level of influence.
No, I'm not interested in state secrets.
It is a personal matter.
Go on.
Artefacts belonging to my family were seized after the revolution and sold by the Antikvariat to collectors in Europe.
Oh, my necklace! By the Faberge work-master Henrik Wigstrom.
Mm.
I had hoped you would be willing to sell it back to me.
I'd make sure you were suitably compensated.
I have great sympathy for your family's losses, but this necklace was a gift from my late father.
It would break my heart to sell it.
How can I persuade you? After all I am its rightful owner.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Don't worry about Yuri.
He's an old friend.
- Please.
- Even if I were willing, I don't have the necklace with me.
It was safer to leave it in England.
Not an insurmountable problem.
I am not known for easily conceding defeat.
- Perhaps if - Forgive me, my answer is no.
I hope you understand.
If you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Who can tell, Lady Felicia, what tribulations the future may hold? - Oh-ho.
- Oh! Who in the world could travel thousands of miles and arrive without a hair out of place? I don't know about that, my dear Mrs McCarthy, but I certainly feel better for seeing you.
Bunty! - Travelling light, Aunt Fliss.
- I'm impressed! Ah, well, I had to pack for a colder climate.
Hornby said he'd collect them later.
May we finally find out the reason for your visit? Your letter was somewhat cryptic.
All in good time.
I am positively gasping for a proper cup of tea! Oh! Tea! Oh! It's all so embarrassing.
About a month ago, Monty was approached about an investment opportunity.
A diamond mine, supposedly filled to the brim.
- How exciting! - Quite.
Only, Monty being Monty, greed got the better of him and he offered to finance the whole enterprise.
Invested every penny we have and more.
It transpires the mine had fewer genuine diamonds than your average pawnbroker.
And to make matters worse, there was a terrible accident.
Workers got injured.
And, being the legal owner, Monty was liable.
So you're coming home? Sadly, no.
I'm simply back to auction off the family trinkets.
Artworks, jewellery We need to raise an awful lot of money.
But presumably the house is safe? I hope so.
It depends on how the auction goes.
Having to sell all your prized possessions! They're only objects, Mrs M.
Save your prayers for the poor men who were down that mine.
They had families to feed, and I'm damned if I'm going to let Monty wriggle out of his obligations.
So when is this auction? Hornby is driving me to the bank tomorrow morning so I can collect a few items from the vault, and then straight to the auction house.
Well, let me drive you, for moral support.
Why don't we all go? You're so kind.
Now who wants a top-up? We won't be long.
Maybe you could keep the necklace and the rest of the things would raise enough money? Not according to the evaluation.
And if we don't clear the debt soon, the estate's in danger, and I can't risk losing Montague.
Your memories of your father are the real treasure.
Quite so.
I should get a good price.
We've already had one offer from a Russian chap in Rhodesia.
Well, why not sell to him and save yourself all this trouble? Well, to be honest, there was something about him that put the wind up me.
And if it must sell, I'd rather it go to a good home.
Right.
Let's get this over with.
Can I give you a lift, Father? I can pick Bucephalus up later.
No, thank you.
Exercise is good for the soul! Well, you're the expert.
I know him! - Who? - Something's wrong.
Quick, follow that van! Oh.
Excuse me? Leave it to me! Careful on that bike! [PLANE RATTLES OVERHEAD.]
He's conscious but we won't get much sense out of him for a while.
I'll contact the security company, see if they can identify the driver.
I told you, his name is Yuri.
Ah, yes, the mysterious Russian! He works for Nicholai Solovey.
Or, and I'm only speaking hypothetically, - it's someone else with a similar scar.
- Ugh! All right, I'll look into it, but I suspect the culprit's a local.
If it was an opportunist, why did he take only take the necklace? There were plenty of other valuables in that case.
He probably made his getaway on foot and didn't want too much to carry.
- Either way, we'll catch him.
- And retrieve the stolen item.
He's probably melting it down as we speak.
- Oh! - Makes it easier to fence.
But we might get lucky.
I'll be in touch.
Solovey's behind this! In fact, I'm sure he's responsible for the whole diamond mine debacle.
Anything to force me to sell that necklace! You said he was wealthy - why wouldn't he just buy it at auction? Perhaps he wanted to punish you for refusing his offer.
So you do believe me, Father? I believe that if we want to retrieve the necklace, Nicholai Solovey is the way to start.
- Luckily, I know where he lives Yes - Oh.
So what now? Aunt Fliss and I march in there and confront him.
Five shillings says we'll beat a confession out of him in under a minute.
I appreciate your enthusiasm, Bunty, but this is my problem.
Your problem? If you don't get this necklace back, then you'll be forced to sell Montague and I'll be turfed out into the streets! I'll be like Blind Harry, roaming around Kembleford Don't be melodramatic.
I'm sure your mother and father will permit your return, given the circumstances.
What? And go back to London? Perhaps I should go in, test the water.
Solovey doesn't know we're acquainted.
Very well.
But if you draw a blank we're doing this my way.
And my way involves pruning shears.
Yes, I've always had my doubts about your family.
Well, their clientele leaves something to be desired, but I do approve of their staff.
- Isn't that Daniel Winks? - Who? He was a chorister at St Mary's.
Not the Daniel Winks that got blind drunk before the Christmas concert and then was violently sick over my best shoes? The very same.
I was always quite fond of him.
Sorry.
- Thank you.
- Much obliged, sir.
Keeping out of trouble, Mr Winks? Father Brown! It's been years! St Mary's hasn't moved.
You're welcome to return at any time.
Not the impression I got from Mrs McCarthy last time I was there.
She's nothing if not forgiving.
Must be talking about different Mrs McCarthys.
So what brings you to the Royal Sandborough? I'm looking for Nicholai Solovey.
The Russian? This time of day, he'll be in the bar, reading the papers.
Tell him he'll never get to heaven if he don't tip the staff.
Could you point him out to me? For you, Father, it's on the house.
Good morning.
Father.
Have you heard the appalling news? Hm? The robbery.
Lady Montague's necklace stolen in broad daylight! The world is slipping into a moral abyss, Father.
You must've noticed, considering your profession.
Indeed.
Darkness surrounds us, but the Lord provides a path towards the light.
Then maybe it was He who lightened the lady's pockets so she may more easily pass into heaven.
Are you not concerned that such a crime has occurred on our doorstep? My valuables are under lock and key.
Perhaps the countess should have exercised similar caution.
In her defence, I've heard a rumour that the necklace is cursed.
Cursed? The family it once belonged to were nearly destroyed by the Bolsheviks.
And the new owner now finds herself beset by misfortune.
I'm surprised a man of the cloth would give credence to tales of cursed jewels.
I never said I gave them credence.
But whoever stole this necklace would do well to return it, lest the same fate befall him! You jest.
I am disturbing you.
- It's fine.
- I must go.
Souls to save.
In my opinion, there is no abyss, moral or physical, that cannot be overcome by a leap of faith.
I could lose my job for this! Think of it as atonement for past sins.
And I used to begrudge a few Hail Marys! Nicholai Solovey was responsible for the theft I could see it in his eyes.
Is there a safe anywhere? He had one installed.
Pricey one too.
It must be so good it's invisible cos I've never seen it.
Any chance we could hurry this up? [HE READS RUSSIAN.]
You speak Russian? Picked up a little bit in the army.
I think it says, "God gives, God takes back.
" - How are you going to get inside? - I have absolutely no idea.
Nicholai Solovey was having breakfast alongside a dozen witnesses at the time of the robbery.
That doesn't prove he didn't pay this Yuri to do it.
What did the security guard say about his attacker? I've not had chance to interview him yet.
Huh, typical! They had to operate.
He's in no fit state! Can't you search Solovey's safe, at least? I don't have enough evidence to justify a warrant.
And Nicholai Solovey has friends in very high places.
So do I.
And they were my friends first! I'll call by if there's any news.
Good day! Thank you, Inspector.
Infuriating little man! If you're certain Solovey has it, why can't we steal it back ourselves? Because you would get into very serious trouble.
Only if we got caught.
It would take a master criminal to crack the safe and remove the necklace without raising the alarm.
A master criminal, you say? How fortunate that you're such good pals with one.
You don't mean? Father, please, oh no, please tell me you're not even considering that?! [THEY SPEAK FRENCH.]
"Greetings, old friend.
" [PHONE RINGS.]
St Mary's Presbytery.
You're fortunate that your telegram arrived so promptly.
I only returned from Istanbul this morning.
Don't ask what I was doing there, you wouldn't approve.
So you need my help? Yes.
To retrieve a stolen item.
You've mistaken me for someone else, Father.
Try contacting that curious local inspector of yours.
You are the only man I know who can pull this off.
Oh, flattery is beneath you, Father, but, please, don't stop.
What exactly would I be retrieving? A stolen necklace.
It belongs to Lady Felicia, it's being held in a safe in the penthouse suite of the Royal Sandborough Hotel.
Its return is of the utmost importance.
And what would I receive for my considerable pains? - Our eternal gratitude.
- Ha! Delightful as watching you descending into criminality sounds, Father, I don't work for anyone.
Especially without payment.
Without your help, Lady Felicia will lose everything.
A woman like that would never be destitute, Father.
Too many foolish men in the world clambering over each other to save her.
I, however, am not one of them.
Goodbye, Father.
Then Solovey has won.
I am sorry to have troubled you.
Wait.
Did you say Solovey? As in Nicholai Solovey? Yes, do you know him? I'll catch the next ferry and be at Kembleford station by nightfall.
[FATHER BROWN COUGHS.]
Bless you, Father.
Thank you my son.
Hercule, I trust you had a pleasant journey.
Profitable.
I collected a small fortune in unpaid fares.
But you didn't summon me for my dazzling repartee.
You need a thief, and here I am.
So I said to Father Brown, "I can't possibly abandon Lady Felicia to" "the cruelties of this dastardly villain!" Consider me your knight in shining armour.
What's in it for you? You doubt my chivalrous motives? You wouldn't know chivalry if it slapped you across your devious face! So you can drop the act.
We're impervious to your so-called Gallic charms.
So, why did you come? Revenge.
A few months ago, Nicholai Solovey commissioned me to steal a tiara once worn by Alexandra, the last empress of Russia.
Regrettably, the tiara had already been stolen before I arrived.
- By whom? - Solovey himself.
- He tipped off the local police.
- [ALARM RINGS.]
The buffoons were so busy hunting me, Solovey was able to stroll out the door with the thing practically under his arm.
Am I the only one who thinks we would be mad to trust this man? Under normal circumstances, I'd agree.
It would be foolish to trust me.
However, you have my word that punishing Solovey is far more important to me than your bauble.
Nobody gets hurt, not even Solovey.
And nothing else is taken.
I have already informed Flambeau of our conditions.
Do you really think you can get the necklace back? I once stole an antique wedding ring from the finger of a Parisian countess whilst simultaneously exchanging pleasantries with the Prefect of Police.
But I will need help - from all of you.
Count me out! Please, let's listen to his plan.
Other than Russian antiquities, Solovey has two weaknesses.
Gambling and beautiful women.
I intend to exploit both.
Dubonnet and gin with a twist of lemon, please.
May I have the honour of paying for your drink? Sorry, my mother warned me against accepting drinks from strangers.
My name is Nicholai Solovey.
I have the penthouse suite.
I like riding but not hunting and, despite my name, prefer champagne to vodka.
There, I'm no longer a stranger.
Au contraire.
I know who you are but you know nothing about me.
Excellent point.
Have dinner with me tonight.
We can talk, eat, get to know each other.
And when you're satisfied that we're suitably acquainted, I'll buy you that drink.
Tempting, but my godmother is descending for a game of baccarat tonight.
She's not the sort one likes to disappoint.
- Would your godmother mind if I joined? - You play? A little.
I'm sure she'd have no objections.
I must warn you, though, she's a terrible flirt.
I shall do my best not to encourage her.
Deal.
Antonia de Mandeville.
Pleased to meet you.
The pleasure is all mine.
- So I win? - No! But my score is still higher than yours.
If the cards add up to ten or more, you only use the second digit.
So your score isn't 15, it's 5.
Are you trying to swindle me? I'm trying to stop you making a fool of yourself! Saved by the belle demoiselle! Success? He's on the hook.
Said I'd send for him when we're ready.
How could he resist? Be careful.
Solovey's dangerous and doesn't like to lose.
- I've never met a man who does.
- Ooh! Bunty gets to be a glamorous heiress.
Mrs M gets to be some sort of wealthy godmother.
- What am I doing? - Don't be cross with me.
You're more than capable of playing the honey to trap our Russian bear, but he'd recognise you instantly.
Fear not, your job's equally as important, but you'll need this.
For what? Taking care of Solovey's guard dog, Yuri.
It's tasteless and dissolves instantly in alcohol.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Daniel, perfect timing! Mrs M, lovely to see you again.
Daniel.
You've got to swear I'll get this back.
They'll have my guts for garters if they found out I've pinched it.
For you.
Is this some kind of joke? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Yes? Message for Mr Solovey.
Miss de Mandeville and guest await him in the bar.
Relax, Mrs M, there's nothing to be worried about.
Easy enough for you to say.
For whom, no doubt, gambling comes quite naturally! Actually, I've never placed a bet myself.
Saw what it did to my old man over the years.
Sorry, I shouldn't have.
It's just that I am extremely nervous.
Follow my lead and you'll be fine.
Thank you, Daniel.
You only have to play a few hands.
As soon as Solovey is settled, you can make your excuses and leave.
Ah, here he is.
Godmother, this is the charming Mr Solovey.
Mr Solovey, this is my godmother, Lady Agatha Havilland-Frump.
Delighted to meet you, Mr Solovey.
Likewise.
I've been assured, that Mr Solovey is quite the card-smith.
I claimed nothing of the sort.
There you go, sir.
May I ask the minimum bank? Shall we say £10? - [SHE COUGHS.]
- Excuse me.
They were a little heavy-handed with the gin.
I usually play for higher stakes.
My Godmother doesn't approve of frittering away one's fortunes, but we'll see how the evening progresses.
Would you care to be banker? Hmm.
Would Mr Solovey like his bed turned down? No.
Oh, let's open this window, it's awful stuffy in here.
It's all right for them, ain't it? Life's all caviar and bubbles while the rest of us do the real work.
I'm supposed to be taking that dinner down to the fellow at number 12 but he's changed his mind! I don't suppose you're hungry? No charge.
Us lot got to stick together, ain't we? True.
Got a bottle of scotch hidden in the laundry room and all.
[THEY CHUCKLE.]
Wait in our room.
When I've retrieved the necklace, I'll meet you there.
Are you sure? [BANGING.]
- What's that? - Oh, that bloomin' dumb waiter! Makes an awful racket.
There you go, love.
Mr Winks leant it to me.
You could have told me you had the key before I jumped off the roof! I didn't want to spoil your grand entrance.
Surely you don't think I would've left you unsupervised? [CABINET DOORS OPEN.]
Can you open it? It's the latest Mosler.
Allegedly, it can withstand the blast of an atomic bomb.
You didn't answer my question.
Have faith, Father.
And patience.
Rather fun, isn't it? I knew luck was supposed to be a lady.
I did not know she took such disarming form.
Don't think, Mr Solovey, that I will allow myself to be distracted by flattery.
You can't blame me for trying.
How about we increase the bank? £25? Fine by me.
25 Oh, excuse me, I quite forgot I'm supposed to visit my sister this evening.
Oh, she is very unwell.
- Is it serious? - Erm She has Gout! How very unpleasant for her.
Croupier, cash those for me.
My man will collect from the concierge in the morning.
Lady Agatha, it has been a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Likewise.
Goddaughter, farewell.
Don't get too carried away.
Would I? And then there were two.
Praying won't help.
I beg to differ.
Take Martin de Porres.
He used prayer to pass through locked doors so he could care for the sick quarantined on the other side.
I doubt Martin de Porres had to pass through four inches of hardened steel! The doors of the cabinet are decorated with Russian crosses.
Do you know the meaning of the slanted cross beam? The thieves on either side of Christ at the crucifixion.
One side goes up, the penitent thief ascending to heaven, the other down, the impenitent thief condemned to hell.
And which are you? Don't delude yourself.
I'm here for revenge, that's all.
Anyway, penitence implies regret.
All the fun we've had, Father? I wouldn't change a thing.
Let's take a break.
- Drink? - That would be lovely.
Same again.
Back so soon? What do you think you're doing?! Winning, what does it look like? You're supposed to keep this Solovey at the table, not bankrupt him! Why can't I do both at the same time? Our job is to keep him distracted until we get the all clear.
Oh, Miss Windermere's definitely distracting him.
On second thoughts, make it a large measure for the lady.
Mmm.
[THEY LAUGH.]
You wait 'ere.
Where you go? I'm going to get us something else to drink.
Here.
Make yourself comfy! And don't forget shh! Shh! I'll be back in a minute [HE CHUCKLES.]
or two.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Don't tell me you haven't opened it yet.
This isn't as simple as it looks.
- We have a problem! - A little peace wouldn't go amiss.
It appears Penelope cannot hold her cocktails.
- She promised me! - No.
We can't risk Solovey recognising you.
Stay here with Flambeau.
Don't tell me the great Flambeau isn't up to the task? Au contraire.
Your score is three, Madame.
You must take a card.
Oh, yes.
What he said.
What sort of card are you, Mr Solovey? A king? A knave? A joker.
- Your card, Madame.
- Oh.
Oh, Father! Mr Solovey, have you met my friend, Father Brown? You know each other? Old acquaintances.
How's your game? After a slow start, I believe my fortunes are improving.
Miss de Mandeville, might I have a word? - Oh, well we're halfway through a hand.
- This won't take long.
Exactly how much have you had to drink?! Not much, I was under struct instrictions! Oooh, now you mention it, I am a little bit wobbly.
What now? Keep an eye on her.
All right! [SHE LAUGHS.]
Miss de Mandeville has an errand to run.
Might I take her place for a few hands? Please.
Do the Catholic clergy often gamble in your country? Terrible habit we picked up in the Reformation.
Helped pass the time whilst hiding in priest-holes from marauding Anglicans.
We're just playing a game.
Not to be disturbed.
Lucky me.
Concentrate! And in case you get any ideas, know that I'm not someone to be underestimated.
Underestimated? I hold you in the highest possible regard.
Not as high as my niece, judging by the way you were fawning over her earlier.
Jealous? Certainly not! Pity.
Your niece is a firework.
Charming, yes, but all colour and show, and gone in a flash.
Your fire runs much hotter, being kept in its furnace.
What would happen, I wonder, if you opened the door? There's only one door here that needs opening.
Your bet, Father.
Perhaps we should cash out? It does not look like Miss de Mandeville plans to return.
No! Let's continue.
Can I bet all of it? - Erm, yes, but - Excellent.
In for a penny Player bets £25.
[HE MOUTHS WORDS.]
- Player wins.
- SOLOVEY SIGHS Oh, at last! Is it in there? Oh! Oh, I could kiss you! It's a figure of speech.
This was stolen from the Duchess of Kent.
What are you doing? Stop it.
We had a deal.
The necklace and nothing else.
Father Brown cannot be complicit in theft.
The crime has already been committed, I'm simply redistributing property from one thief to another.
I'll call the police.
And how would you explain your involvement? Stop or I'll scream! - Oh.
- Since you're being so ungenerous, I'll take the necklace after all.
Something to remember you by.
You don't have it in you.
- You! - Stay back! Don't! Flambeau! I propose raising the bank to £50.
Banco.
Bank is all-in.
Player matches the bank.
Player has eight and stands.
Bank has seven.
Player wins.
I'd like to buy back in.
Take your hands off me! Quite honestly What are you playing at, man? - Lady Felicia?! - SOLOVEY LAUGHS I take it from your uniform that your husband's diamond business is struggling? You're very self-satisfied for a man who's just been robbed.
- The safe.
- I believe you know the culprit.
His name is Hercule Flambeau.
Flambeau?! He's taken everything, Father Brown, including the Rolls-Royce.
You see, Father? A moral abyss! Davai! Thank you, Father.
By involving your good friend Flambeau, you've sealed Montague's fate! [SIREN RINGS.]
Out of the vehicle, please.
We are in a hurry, Inspector.
We've had a tip-off that you are in possession of stolen goods.
I'd like to search the vehicle.
Nyet.
Be my guest.
But, please, be quick about it.
What do we have here? That's impossible! Nicholai Solovey, you're under arrest.
You're not obliged to say anything, but anything you say may be given in evidence.
And that goes for your chum here, too.
What is taking so long? These auctions can drag on for hours.
That's why I decided I'd rather be here, among friends.
Does that mean you've forgiven me? I suppose so.
I still wish you'd told us the whole plan.
Hear, hear.
It was shameful, keeping us in the dark like that! Putting Solovey behind bars was the only way of protecting you from reprisals.
It was vital that Solovey believed your anger with Flambeau was genuine.
So it's my acting skills you don't trust! Well, at least we got the necklace back.
Perhaps Monsieur Flambeau isn't as irredeemable as I thought.
Except, according to Inspector Mallory, not all of Solovey's money made it into the boot of his car.
It seems our thief took his own reward after all.
Aunt Fliss! I bumped into the telegram boy outside.
I think it's from the auction house.
Well, don't keep us in suspense! Have you raised enough to keep Montague or not? We should be able to cover our debts.
I guess that means I'll have to stay in Kembleford! The necklace fetched a particularly good price.
Does it say who bought it? An anonymous bidder, via the telephone.
Well, whoever it is, I hope it brings them joy.
And my winnings at baccarat will go a long way to the restoration of the clerestory.
And what are you doing loitering there, Master Winks? Oh, I promised him elocution lessons.
An overdue apology, Mrs M, for the incident at the carol concert.
Oh apologies accepted.
And will we be welcoming you into St Mary's soon? When I can get off work.
You'll see Daniel at my games night.
He's agreed to be croupier.
No, I will not! I've had quite enough of gambling for the moment.
I will come.
I thought I did rather well at baccarat.
[PHONE RINGS.]
St Mary's Presbytery.
How does it feel? All those years you tried to make me an honourable man, yet it is I who has turned you into a thief.
You could have taken Solovey's hoard I would have been powerless to stop you but you did not.
Neither did I leave empty-handed.
Ah, yes Solovey's cash.
I confess I am disappointed.
I never thought that you were motivated by avarice alone.
Then you'll be pleased to hear I invested it in an item of immense aesthetic and spiritual value.
I was going to keep it, but I think I might give it to a lady friend.
An apology for certain uncouth actions of mine.
How uncharacteristically contrite.
Well, what can I say? She is someone I hold in the highest possible regard.
Please, leave us alone.
It can wear one down, can it not? The heat, I mean.
Yes.
I should be accustomed to it by now, but some days One can barely breathe.
Give me the bite of a Russian winter any day.
I'm not sure I'd go that far.
Nicholai Solovey.
Oh.
Lady Felicia Montague.
I know.
Back in England, I've taken up residence at the Royal Sandford Hotel.
From my balcony, I can see the rooftops of your ancestral estate.
Sadly, the area's beauty has declined somewhat since your - departure.
- Oh, really? [SHE CHUCKLES.]
What reason now have the birds to sing or the flowers to bloom? I must go back inside.
The Deputy Governor will be making his speech and we wouldn't want to miss that.
First I must ask you a question.
As you know, the past few decades have been difficult for my country.
I believe you may be able to help me.
Mr Solovey I fear you over-estimate my level of influence.
No, I'm not interested in state secrets.
It is a personal matter.
Go on.
Artefacts belonging to my family were seized after the revolution and sold by the Antikvariat to collectors in Europe.
Oh, my necklace! By the Faberge work-master Henrik Wigstrom.
Mm.
I had hoped you would be willing to sell it back to me.
I'd make sure you were suitably compensated.
I have great sympathy for your family's losses, but this necklace was a gift from my late father.
It would break my heart to sell it.
How can I persuade you? After all I am its rightful owner.
I'm sorry.
Oh.
Don't worry about Yuri.
He's an old friend.
- Please.
- Even if I were willing, I don't have the necklace with me.
It was safer to leave it in England.
Not an insurmountable problem.
I am not known for easily conceding defeat.
- Perhaps if - Forgive me, my answer is no.
I hope you understand.
If you change your mind, you know where to find me.
Who can tell, Lady Felicia, what tribulations the future may hold? - Oh-ho.
- Oh! Who in the world could travel thousands of miles and arrive without a hair out of place? I don't know about that, my dear Mrs McCarthy, but I certainly feel better for seeing you.
Bunty! - Travelling light, Aunt Fliss.
- I'm impressed! Ah, well, I had to pack for a colder climate.
Hornby said he'd collect them later.
May we finally find out the reason for your visit? Your letter was somewhat cryptic.
All in good time.
I am positively gasping for a proper cup of tea! Oh! Tea! Oh! It's all so embarrassing.
About a month ago, Monty was approached about an investment opportunity.
A diamond mine, supposedly filled to the brim.
- How exciting! - Quite.
Only, Monty being Monty, greed got the better of him and he offered to finance the whole enterprise.
Invested every penny we have and more.
It transpires the mine had fewer genuine diamonds than your average pawnbroker.
And to make matters worse, there was a terrible accident.
Workers got injured.
And, being the legal owner, Monty was liable.
So you're coming home? Sadly, no.
I'm simply back to auction off the family trinkets.
Artworks, jewellery We need to raise an awful lot of money.
But presumably the house is safe? I hope so.
It depends on how the auction goes.
Having to sell all your prized possessions! They're only objects, Mrs M.
Save your prayers for the poor men who were down that mine.
They had families to feed, and I'm damned if I'm going to let Monty wriggle out of his obligations.
So when is this auction? Hornby is driving me to the bank tomorrow morning so I can collect a few items from the vault, and then straight to the auction house.
Well, let me drive you, for moral support.
Why don't we all go? You're so kind.
Now who wants a top-up? We won't be long.
Maybe you could keep the necklace and the rest of the things would raise enough money? Not according to the evaluation.
And if we don't clear the debt soon, the estate's in danger, and I can't risk losing Montague.
Your memories of your father are the real treasure.
Quite so.
I should get a good price.
We've already had one offer from a Russian chap in Rhodesia.
Well, why not sell to him and save yourself all this trouble? Well, to be honest, there was something about him that put the wind up me.
And if it must sell, I'd rather it go to a good home.
Right.
Let's get this over with.
Can I give you a lift, Father? I can pick Bucephalus up later.
No, thank you.
Exercise is good for the soul! Well, you're the expert.
I know him! - Who? - Something's wrong.
Quick, follow that van! Oh.
Excuse me? Leave it to me! Careful on that bike! [PLANE RATTLES OVERHEAD.]
He's conscious but we won't get much sense out of him for a while.
I'll contact the security company, see if they can identify the driver.
I told you, his name is Yuri.
Ah, yes, the mysterious Russian! He works for Nicholai Solovey.
Or, and I'm only speaking hypothetically, - it's someone else with a similar scar.
- Ugh! All right, I'll look into it, but I suspect the culprit's a local.
If it was an opportunist, why did he take only take the necklace? There were plenty of other valuables in that case.
He probably made his getaway on foot and didn't want too much to carry.
- Either way, we'll catch him.
- And retrieve the stolen item.
He's probably melting it down as we speak.
- Oh! - Makes it easier to fence.
But we might get lucky.
I'll be in touch.
Solovey's behind this! In fact, I'm sure he's responsible for the whole diamond mine debacle.
Anything to force me to sell that necklace! You said he was wealthy - why wouldn't he just buy it at auction? Perhaps he wanted to punish you for refusing his offer.
So you do believe me, Father? I believe that if we want to retrieve the necklace, Nicholai Solovey is the way to start.
- Luckily, I know where he lives Yes - Oh.
So what now? Aunt Fliss and I march in there and confront him.
Five shillings says we'll beat a confession out of him in under a minute.
I appreciate your enthusiasm, Bunty, but this is my problem.
Your problem? If you don't get this necklace back, then you'll be forced to sell Montague and I'll be turfed out into the streets! I'll be like Blind Harry, roaming around Kembleford Don't be melodramatic.
I'm sure your mother and father will permit your return, given the circumstances.
What? And go back to London? Perhaps I should go in, test the water.
Solovey doesn't know we're acquainted.
Very well.
But if you draw a blank we're doing this my way.
And my way involves pruning shears.
Yes, I've always had my doubts about your family.
Well, their clientele leaves something to be desired, but I do approve of their staff.
- Isn't that Daniel Winks? - Who? He was a chorister at St Mary's.
Not the Daniel Winks that got blind drunk before the Christmas concert and then was violently sick over my best shoes? The very same.
I was always quite fond of him.
Sorry.
- Thank you.
- Much obliged, sir.
Keeping out of trouble, Mr Winks? Father Brown! It's been years! St Mary's hasn't moved.
You're welcome to return at any time.
Not the impression I got from Mrs McCarthy last time I was there.
She's nothing if not forgiving.
Must be talking about different Mrs McCarthys.
So what brings you to the Royal Sandborough? I'm looking for Nicholai Solovey.
The Russian? This time of day, he'll be in the bar, reading the papers.
Tell him he'll never get to heaven if he don't tip the staff.
Could you point him out to me? For you, Father, it's on the house.
Good morning.
Father.
Have you heard the appalling news? Hm? The robbery.
Lady Montague's necklace stolen in broad daylight! The world is slipping into a moral abyss, Father.
You must've noticed, considering your profession.
Indeed.
Darkness surrounds us, but the Lord provides a path towards the light.
Then maybe it was He who lightened the lady's pockets so she may more easily pass into heaven.
Are you not concerned that such a crime has occurred on our doorstep? My valuables are under lock and key.
Perhaps the countess should have exercised similar caution.
In her defence, I've heard a rumour that the necklace is cursed.
Cursed? The family it once belonged to were nearly destroyed by the Bolsheviks.
And the new owner now finds herself beset by misfortune.
I'm surprised a man of the cloth would give credence to tales of cursed jewels.
I never said I gave them credence.
But whoever stole this necklace would do well to return it, lest the same fate befall him! You jest.
I am disturbing you.
- It's fine.
- I must go.
Souls to save.
In my opinion, there is no abyss, moral or physical, that cannot be overcome by a leap of faith.
I could lose my job for this! Think of it as atonement for past sins.
And I used to begrudge a few Hail Marys! Nicholai Solovey was responsible for the theft I could see it in his eyes.
Is there a safe anywhere? He had one installed.
Pricey one too.
It must be so good it's invisible cos I've never seen it.
Any chance we could hurry this up? [HE READS RUSSIAN.]
You speak Russian? Picked up a little bit in the army.
I think it says, "God gives, God takes back.
" - How are you going to get inside? - I have absolutely no idea.
Nicholai Solovey was having breakfast alongside a dozen witnesses at the time of the robbery.
That doesn't prove he didn't pay this Yuri to do it.
What did the security guard say about his attacker? I've not had chance to interview him yet.
Huh, typical! They had to operate.
He's in no fit state! Can't you search Solovey's safe, at least? I don't have enough evidence to justify a warrant.
And Nicholai Solovey has friends in very high places.
So do I.
And they were my friends first! I'll call by if there's any news.
Good day! Thank you, Inspector.
Infuriating little man! If you're certain Solovey has it, why can't we steal it back ourselves? Because you would get into very serious trouble.
Only if we got caught.
It would take a master criminal to crack the safe and remove the necklace without raising the alarm.
A master criminal, you say? How fortunate that you're such good pals with one.
You don't mean? Father, please, oh no, please tell me you're not even considering that?! [THEY SPEAK FRENCH.]
"Greetings, old friend.
" [PHONE RINGS.]
St Mary's Presbytery.
You're fortunate that your telegram arrived so promptly.
I only returned from Istanbul this morning.
Don't ask what I was doing there, you wouldn't approve.
So you need my help? Yes.
To retrieve a stolen item.
You've mistaken me for someone else, Father.
Try contacting that curious local inspector of yours.
You are the only man I know who can pull this off.
Oh, flattery is beneath you, Father, but, please, don't stop.
What exactly would I be retrieving? A stolen necklace.
It belongs to Lady Felicia, it's being held in a safe in the penthouse suite of the Royal Sandborough Hotel.
Its return is of the utmost importance.
And what would I receive for my considerable pains? - Our eternal gratitude.
- Ha! Delightful as watching you descending into criminality sounds, Father, I don't work for anyone.
Especially without payment.
Without your help, Lady Felicia will lose everything.
A woman like that would never be destitute, Father.
Too many foolish men in the world clambering over each other to save her.
I, however, am not one of them.
Goodbye, Father.
Then Solovey has won.
I am sorry to have troubled you.
Wait.
Did you say Solovey? As in Nicholai Solovey? Yes, do you know him? I'll catch the next ferry and be at Kembleford station by nightfall.
[FATHER BROWN COUGHS.]
Bless you, Father.
Thank you my son.
Hercule, I trust you had a pleasant journey.
Profitable.
I collected a small fortune in unpaid fares.
But you didn't summon me for my dazzling repartee.
You need a thief, and here I am.
So I said to Father Brown, "I can't possibly abandon Lady Felicia to" "the cruelties of this dastardly villain!" Consider me your knight in shining armour.
What's in it for you? You doubt my chivalrous motives? You wouldn't know chivalry if it slapped you across your devious face! So you can drop the act.
We're impervious to your so-called Gallic charms.
So, why did you come? Revenge.
A few months ago, Nicholai Solovey commissioned me to steal a tiara once worn by Alexandra, the last empress of Russia.
Regrettably, the tiara had already been stolen before I arrived.
- By whom? - Solovey himself.
- He tipped off the local police.
- [ALARM RINGS.]
The buffoons were so busy hunting me, Solovey was able to stroll out the door with the thing practically under his arm.
Am I the only one who thinks we would be mad to trust this man? Under normal circumstances, I'd agree.
It would be foolish to trust me.
However, you have my word that punishing Solovey is far more important to me than your bauble.
Nobody gets hurt, not even Solovey.
And nothing else is taken.
I have already informed Flambeau of our conditions.
Do you really think you can get the necklace back? I once stole an antique wedding ring from the finger of a Parisian countess whilst simultaneously exchanging pleasantries with the Prefect of Police.
But I will need help - from all of you.
Count me out! Please, let's listen to his plan.
Other than Russian antiquities, Solovey has two weaknesses.
Gambling and beautiful women.
I intend to exploit both.
Dubonnet and gin with a twist of lemon, please.
May I have the honour of paying for your drink? Sorry, my mother warned me against accepting drinks from strangers.
My name is Nicholai Solovey.
I have the penthouse suite.
I like riding but not hunting and, despite my name, prefer champagne to vodka.
There, I'm no longer a stranger.
Au contraire.
I know who you are but you know nothing about me.
Excellent point.
Have dinner with me tonight.
We can talk, eat, get to know each other.
And when you're satisfied that we're suitably acquainted, I'll buy you that drink.
Tempting, but my godmother is descending for a game of baccarat tonight.
She's not the sort one likes to disappoint.
- Would your godmother mind if I joined? - You play? A little.
I'm sure she'd have no objections.
I must warn you, though, she's a terrible flirt.
I shall do my best not to encourage her.
Deal.
Antonia de Mandeville.
Pleased to meet you.
The pleasure is all mine.
- So I win? - No! But my score is still higher than yours.
If the cards add up to ten or more, you only use the second digit.
So your score isn't 15, it's 5.
Are you trying to swindle me? I'm trying to stop you making a fool of yourself! Saved by the belle demoiselle! Success? He's on the hook.
Said I'd send for him when we're ready.
How could he resist? Be careful.
Solovey's dangerous and doesn't like to lose.
- I've never met a man who does.
- Ooh! Bunty gets to be a glamorous heiress.
Mrs M gets to be some sort of wealthy godmother.
- What am I doing? - Don't be cross with me.
You're more than capable of playing the honey to trap our Russian bear, but he'd recognise you instantly.
Fear not, your job's equally as important, but you'll need this.
For what? Taking care of Solovey's guard dog, Yuri.
It's tasteless and dissolves instantly in alcohol.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Daniel, perfect timing! Mrs M, lovely to see you again.
Daniel.
You've got to swear I'll get this back.
They'll have my guts for garters if they found out I've pinched it.
For you.
Is this some kind of joke? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Yes? Message for Mr Solovey.
Miss de Mandeville and guest await him in the bar.
Relax, Mrs M, there's nothing to be worried about.
Easy enough for you to say.
For whom, no doubt, gambling comes quite naturally! Actually, I've never placed a bet myself.
Saw what it did to my old man over the years.
Sorry, I shouldn't have.
It's just that I am extremely nervous.
Follow my lead and you'll be fine.
Thank you, Daniel.
You only have to play a few hands.
As soon as Solovey is settled, you can make your excuses and leave.
Ah, here he is.
Godmother, this is the charming Mr Solovey.
Mr Solovey, this is my godmother, Lady Agatha Havilland-Frump.
Delighted to meet you, Mr Solovey.
Likewise.
I've been assured, that Mr Solovey is quite the card-smith.
I claimed nothing of the sort.
There you go, sir.
May I ask the minimum bank? Shall we say £10? - [SHE COUGHS.]
- Excuse me.
They were a little heavy-handed with the gin.
I usually play for higher stakes.
My Godmother doesn't approve of frittering away one's fortunes, but we'll see how the evening progresses.
Would you care to be banker? Hmm.
Would Mr Solovey like his bed turned down? No.
Oh, let's open this window, it's awful stuffy in here.
It's all right for them, ain't it? Life's all caviar and bubbles while the rest of us do the real work.
I'm supposed to be taking that dinner down to the fellow at number 12 but he's changed his mind! I don't suppose you're hungry? No charge.
Us lot got to stick together, ain't we? True.
Got a bottle of scotch hidden in the laundry room and all.
[THEY CHUCKLE.]
Wait in our room.
When I've retrieved the necklace, I'll meet you there.
Are you sure? [BANGING.]
- What's that? - Oh, that bloomin' dumb waiter! Makes an awful racket.
There you go, love.
Mr Winks leant it to me.
You could have told me you had the key before I jumped off the roof! I didn't want to spoil your grand entrance.
Surely you don't think I would've left you unsupervised? [CABINET DOORS OPEN.]
Can you open it? It's the latest Mosler.
Allegedly, it can withstand the blast of an atomic bomb.
You didn't answer my question.
Have faith, Father.
And patience.
Rather fun, isn't it? I knew luck was supposed to be a lady.
I did not know she took such disarming form.
Don't think, Mr Solovey, that I will allow myself to be distracted by flattery.
You can't blame me for trying.
How about we increase the bank? £25? Fine by me.
25 Oh, excuse me, I quite forgot I'm supposed to visit my sister this evening.
Oh, she is very unwell.
- Is it serious? - Erm She has Gout! How very unpleasant for her.
Croupier, cash those for me.
My man will collect from the concierge in the morning.
Lady Agatha, it has been a pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Likewise.
Goddaughter, farewell.
Don't get too carried away.
Would I? And then there were two.
Praying won't help.
I beg to differ.
Take Martin de Porres.
He used prayer to pass through locked doors so he could care for the sick quarantined on the other side.
I doubt Martin de Porres had to pass through four inches of hardened steel! The doors of the cabinet are decorated with Russian crosses.
Do you know the meaning of the slanted cross beam? The thieves on either side of Christ at the crucifixion.
One side goes up, the penitent thief ascending to heaven, the other down, the impenitent thief condemned to hell.
And which are you? Don't delude yourself.
I'm here for revenge, that's all.
Anyway, penitence implies regret.
All the fun we've had, Father? I wouldn't change a thing.
Let's take a break.
- Drink? - That would be lovely.
Same again.
Back so soon? What do you think you're doing?! Winning, what does it look like? You're supposed to keep this Solovey at the table, not bankrupt him! Why can't I do both at the same time? Our job is to keep him distracted until we get the all clear.
Oh, Miss Windermere's definitely distracting him.
On second thoughts, make it a large measure for the lady.
Mmm.
[THEY LAUGH.]
You wait 'ere.
Where you go? I'm going to get us something else to drink.
Here.
Make yourself comfy! And don't forget shh! Shh! I'll be back in a minute [HE CHUCKLES.]
or two.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Don't tell me you haven't opened it yet.
This isn't as simple as it looks.
- We have a problem! - A little peace wouldn't go amiss.
It appears Penelope cannot hold her cocktails.
- She promised me! - No.
We can't risk Solovey recognising you.
Stay here with Flambeau.
Don't tell me the great Flambeau isn't up to the task? Au contraire.
Your score is three, Madame.
You must take a card.
Oh, yes.
What he said.
What sort of card are you, Mr Solovey? A king? A knave? A joker.
- Your card, Madame.
- Oh.
Oh, Father! Mr Solovey, have you met my friend, Father Brown? You know each other? Old acquaintances.
How's your game? After a slow start, I believe my fortunes are improving.
Miss de Mandeville, might I have a word? - Oh, well we're halfway through a hand.
- This won't take long.
Exactly how much have you had to drink?! Not much, I was under struct instrictions! Oooh, now you mention it, I am a little bit wobbly.
What now? Keep an eye on her.
All right! [SHE LAUGHS.]
Miss de Mandeville has an errand to run.
Might I take her place for a few hands? Please.
Do the Catholic clergy often gamble in your country? Terrible habit we picked up in the Reformation.
Helped pass the time whilst hiding in priest-holes from marauding Anglicans.
We're just playing a game.
Not to be disturbed.
Lucky me.
Concentrate! And in case you get any ideas, know that I'm not someone to be underestimated.
Underestimated? I hold you in the highest possible regard.
Not as high as my niece, judging by the way you were fawning over her earlier.
Jealous? Certainly not! Pity.
Your niece is a firework.
Charming, yes, but all colour and show, and gone in a flash.
Your fire runs much hotter, being kept in its furnace.
What would happen, I wonder, if you opened the door? There's only one door here that needs opening.
Your bet, Father.
Perhaps we should cash out? It does not look like Miss de Mandeville plans to return.
No! Let's continue.
Can I bet all of it? - Erm, yes, but - Excellent.
In for a penny Player bets £25.
[HE MOUTHS WORDS.]
- Player wins.
- SOLOVEY SIGHS Oh, at last! Is it in there? Oh! Oh, I could kiss you! It's a figure of speech.
This was stolen from the Duchess of Kent.
What are you doing? Stop it.
We had a deal.
The necklace and nothing else.
Father Brown cannot be complicit in theft.
The crime has already been committed, I'm simply redistributing property from one thief to another.
I'll call the police.
And how would you explain your involvement? Stop or I'll scream! - Oh.
- Since you're being so ungenerous, I'll take the necklace after all.
Something to remember you by.
You don't have it in you.
- You! - Stay back! Don't! Flambeau! I propose raising the bank to £50.
Banco.
Bank is all-in.
Player matches the bank.
Player has eight and stands.
Bank has seven.
Player wins.
I'd like to buy back in.
Take your hands off me! Quite honestly What are you playing at, man? - Lady Felicia?! - SOLOVEY LAUGHS I take it from your uniform that your husband's diamond business is struggling? You're very self-satisfied for a man who's just been robbed.
- The safe.
- I believe you know the culprit.
His name is Hercule Flambeau.
Flambeau?! He's taken everything, Father Brown, including the Rolls-Royce.
You see, Father? A moral abyss! Davai! Thank you, Father.
By involving your good friend Flambeau, you've sealed Montague's fate! [SIREN RINGS.]
Out of the vehicle, please.
We are in a hurry, Inspector.
We've had a tip-off that you are in possession of stolen goods.
I'd like to search the vehicle.
Nyet.
Be my guest.
But, please, be quick about it.
What do we have here? That's impossible! Nicholai Solovey, you're under arrest.
You're not obliged to say anything, but anything you say may be given in evidence.
And that goes for your chum here, too.
What is taking so long? These auctions can drag on for hours.
That's why I decided I'd rather be here, among friends.
Does that mean you've forgiven me? I suppose so.
I still wish you'd told us the whole plan.
Hear, hear.
It was shameful, keeping us in the dark like that! Putting Solovey behind bars was the only way of protecting you from reprisals.
It was vital that Solovey believed your anger with Flambeau was genuine.
So it's my acting skills you don't trust! Well, at least we got the necklace back.
Perhaps Monsieur Flambeau isn't as irredeemable as I thought.
Except, according to Inspector Mallory, not all of Solovey's money made it into the boot of his car.
It seems our thief took his own reward after all.
Aunt Fliss! I bumped into the telegram boy outside.
I think it's from the auction house.
Well, don't keep us in suspense! Have you raised enough to keep Montague or not? We should be able to cover our debts.
I guess that means I'll have to stay in Kembleford! The necklace fetched a particularly good price.
Does it say who bought it? An anonymous bidder, via the telephone.
Well, whoever it is, I hope it brings them joy.
And my winnings at baccarat will go a long way to the restoration of the clerestory.
And what are you doing loitering there, Master Winks? Oh, I promised him elocution lessons.
An overdue apology, Mrs M, for the incident at the carol concert.
Oh apologies accepted.
And will we be welcoming you into St Mary's soon? When I can get off work.
You'll see Daniel at my games night.
He's agreed to be croupier.
No, I will not! I've had quite enough of gambling for the moment.
I will come.
I thought I did rather well at baccarat.
[PHONE RINGS.]
St Mary's Presbytery.
How does it feel? All those years you tried to make me an honourable man, yet it is I who has turned you into a thief.
You could have taken Solovey's hoard I would have been powerless to stop you but you did not.
Neither did I leave empty-handed.
Ah, yes Solovey's cash.
I confess I am disappointed.
I never thought that you were motivated by avarice alone.
Then you'll be pleased to hear I invested it in an item of immense aesthetic and spiritual value.
I was going to keep it, but I think I might give it to a lady friend.
An apology for certain uncouth actions of mine.
How uncharacteristically contrite.
Well, what can I say? She is someone I hold in the highest possible regard.