Felicity s03e03 Episode Script

Previously on "Felicity.
" Don't say you're gonna be here when you know that you're not.
Please don't do that.
I tell her that I was tested, and I wasn't a match and that I'm just really grateful I got to know my dad as much as I did before he died.
And that's it? Nothing else? No.
I want to be here with you guys.
With my friends.
I got to end this thing with Natalie.
Obviously we shouldn't be married.
All right, what about mental incompetence? - No, I don't think so.
- All right.
Incest? - I thought you said you were gonna help.
- It's on the list.
When did this become my life? How did I get so off track? Come on.
Sean gave you a great deal on the room.
It's not that bad.
Oh, not that bad.
I can't get any of the classes I want.
I don't even know how I'm gonna pay for college since Natalie and I blew my tuition check.
And now we're sitting here rinsing blond streaks out of my hair, preparing strategies for my upcoming annulment.
My life blows, okay? Ow! Is it supposed to sting like that? - Stop being such a baby.
- Well, no offense.
You don't have the best track record when it comes to hair.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Nothing.
- Hey, Elena, what do you think? - Definitely better without the streaks.
No, no.
Not the hair.
Here, look.
We still haven't figured out the legal reason for annulment.
You can't just ask for an annulment.
I have to have a reason, - so I have to come up with something.
- Isn't that perjury? - Would you rather I stay married? - Oh, this is perfect.
"Inability to have sexual relations.
" I'm not saying I'm impotent.
Okay, "incest," "mental incompetence.
" - I think impotence is the way to go.
- No, I'm not saying that, though.
- Do you want this annulment or not? - You know what? - I think she's right.
- Really? Why not? What's the big deal? It's not like anyone's gonna actually know.
- Yeah.
- Maybe you're right.
Okay, good.
I'm impotent.
Yeah, I can say that.
I am impotent.
I'm Molly.
I'm your new roommate.
- Oh, hi.
- Hey! - Hey, I'm not really impotent.
- Yes, he is.
Come on.
We'll show you the new place.
- I'm Felicity.
- Elena.
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, he is.
Guys, hey.
Hey, tell her I'm not.
Guys? * Can you become * * Can you become * * A new version of you? * * New wallpaper * * New shoe leather * * A new way home * * I don't remember * * New version of you * * I need a new version of me * * New version of you * * I need a new version of me * All right, so Sean wants to hear about my summer.
Okay.
My great summer.
My summer was Actually, it was terrible.
And if you guys really knew what happened Forget this.
Okay, so Sean wants to know about my summer.
My great summer.
It was great.
You know, I'd never met my birth father before and he was so much better than I ever expected.
He was this kind, amazing guy.
And they wanted me to be tested to see if I was a match, to see if I could be a donor, and I wasn't.
But they were so nice to me and they just treated me like I was part of the family.
So, you know, spending all that time with my birth parents and us just getting close and learning more about each other, it was probably the best summer I ever had.
What? - I just had this dream.
- What happened? You were wearing a suit, and I had this really long dress on.
As we were going up the escalator it got caught, and I was pulling on it, and then you were pulling on it.
And then all of a sudden we were being chased by these, like, rabid monkeys.
It wasn't funny.
It was scary.
- And you didn't defend me very well.
- I didn't? Oh.
So, you're Are you mad at me? For something I didn't do in your dream? Okay.
Next time, I promise that the next time that we get attacked by monkeys on an escalator, I will save you.
- You better.
- I promise.
You better.
- We better get that.
- No.
Yes.
Hey, don't steal the covers.
Hello.
Hello? Hey, Ma.
What do you mean? How long? Okay, slow down.
When was the last time you talked to him? Okay.
Okay, okay.
I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
Is everything okay? Yeah.
- What did she want? - Nothing.
It's just some crap with my dad.
I don't even want to talk about it.
- Okay.
- I don't even care anymore, to be honest.
- You know when you do want to talk about it, you can.
- Yeah, I know.
I'm I'm going to play basketball with Sean, okay? I'll see you later.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Now, Mr.
Crane.
I see you've left "grounds for annulment" blank.
Yes.
Yes, Your Honor.
True.
The thing is, it's a delicate situation.
It's not something I like to run around screaming to the world.
In fact, I'm not proud of it.
You're claiming impotence.
Yes.
Yes.
Apparently there's a slight problem with my equipment.
Your equipment? Yeah.
And I think, technically that you could say I'm fairly impotent.
You know, and while obviously embarrassing to me, - it's a fantastic reason for an annulment.
- Judge Amann.
Noel Crane is the best lover I've ever had.
- What are you doing? - He's not impotent.
As a matter of fact, if anything, he's potent.
I could go into detail, but that wouldn't be appropriate.
That's all I have to say.
Feel free to come back when you have your stories straight.
This exercise program's really helping out.
I feel a lot quicker.
- Do you? - Yeah.
Do I look quicker? Not really.
That's funny.
- What's the score? - 6-1.
Listen, it doesn't make me a bad guy that I'm charging Noel $25 more a month than I did Julie, is it? I mean, inflation, right? Hey! Take it easy, man.
What's your problem? - Will you just shut up and play? - Nice attitude.
Nice.
- Hey, studs.
- Hey! - What's happening? - Nothing much.
How's that Julie confessional video going? Oh, it's good.
I'm done.
You're done? I rented that camera for a week.
- You've only had it for a day.
- Are we gonna play? Yeah, we're playing.
Take it easy.
- Take it easy, man.
What's your problem? - Nothing.
What? Come on.
Sorry, man.
Yeah, I think you broke my nose, you dick.
Thanks for a great game.
That was a lot of fun.
Sean, are you okay? No.
Hey.
What's wrong with you? Nothing.
That was an accident.
You were acting like you were gonna rip his head off.
- It has nothing to do with Sean, - Then what is your problem? My mom called and told me that my dad was missing.
What do you mean? - How long? - Like four days.
- She wants me to file a missing persons report.
- You know what? It's like everything's reversed.
What is? Freshman year I was looking for my mom, and you were there for that.
- And now your dad.
- I think this is a little different, okay? I know, I know.
But You were just really great back then.
I don't think I could've done it without you.
I miss that.
What's this movie for? It's a reality TV series that I'm working on.
And so far this week I have no hook.
So, talk about yourself.
Give me a hook.
Oh.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Well, I'm Molly.
Hi.
And I'm here on my junior year abroad from London.
And I'm studying fashion and photography and orgasmology.
- Orgasmology? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's the study and the science of the human orgasm.
Okay.
Thank God for you.
That's wonderful.
Talk about that, okay? I mean, as much detail as you want.
You can be graphic, too.
Go ahead.
I'm so just kidding you about that one, Sean.
I'm trying to give you that hook.
- You know? - Oh.
Yeah.
What happened to your nose? He just closed up.
He didn't want to talk.
- Well, it's not like his behavior is surprising.
- Yeah, I know.
This is your boyfriend? Well, you know, guys are like Venus flytraps.
Something emotional lands on them, and they snap shut.
- Oh, can I get the onions, please? - Sure.
I'm just worried about him.
I mean, and not just the thing with his dad, whatever that is.
I'm worried about him.
Like, he can't hold this all in forever.
As long as he doesn't start hitting you.
Hitting me? What do you mean? Well, you know, like the way he broke Sean's nose.
Hey.
Should I not do those interviews? You know, for his Independent Film Channel thing? - Sean kind of - You said that Ben hit Sean? Well, yeah.
A basketball game.
I thought you knew.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey, where you been? Molly's making us What do you call that again? Oh.
Bubbles and squeak.
'Cause that's the sound the vegetables make when they cook.
Yeah.
I was with Ben.
- Where did you see him? - We were hanging out.
He's just trying to deal with everything.
- What's everything? - With his father.
He didn't tell you? No, he didn't.
His dad's missing.
Tomorrow's gonna be like five days.
- Are you kidding? - No.
And his mom is trying to get him to file a missing persons report, and he doesn't want to.
- That smells really good.
- Thanks.
- Felicity.
- Ben didn't tell you anything? - No.
Well, you know Ben.
He and I, we have a sort of history with this.
Remember when I was looking for my birth mother, he was there to help me.
I wouldn't take it personally.
Julie told me your dad's missing.
That your mom wants you to file a police report.
Is that true? Yeah, that's true.
So, did you do it? No, I'm not doing it.
I'm not doing anything.
Why? 'Cause I don't want to, 'cause that's what my dad deserves.
Ben, I know you're really upset right Can you not tell me what to do, please? Don't do that.
That's not what I'm doing.
Is that why you didn't tell me this? 'Cause you think I'm gonna judge you or something? God, I only want to help.
I know.
And you're only asking 'cause you care.
But I don't want to talk about this right now, okay? I just want some space to think about this.
It doesn't It has nothing to do with you.
Space? Yeah.
Okay.
I understand.
So, I was already pissed off at Natalie for not saying that I was impotent.
- Right.
- But then God, to add insult to injury, while I'm studying for this upcoming test on the Earth's shifting plates, - I get the phone call.
- What phone call? Well, it's Javier.
And he tells me that he just learned that Natalie has an inheritance.
What? Yeah, an inheritance that she can only collect if she's married.
Can you believe it? Can you stand it? - I was a pawn.
- You are not a pawn.
Marrying someone to get an inheritance? That's called using, Natalie.
It's called lying, and it's called using.
I didn't ask you to marry me.
You asked me.
You remember? You asked me, and I said yes.
Yeah! Yeah! Which was part of some sick, perverse, psychological plan.
- That's not true.
- All right, then why didn't you tell me about the money in the beginning? Because I knew you'd feel that way.
You'd think that's what it was all about.
- What? You're not making any sense.
- When you asked me if I wanted to get married, I had never wanted to say yes to that question before.
- Had you been asked before? - Well, yeah.
Listen, the only reason that I said yes, the only reason, was because of this time we've spent together.
Think about it.
We had a good summer, didn't we? Yes, we had an incredible summer.
I was always Uncle Frederick's favorite.
And in his will he left me, on the condition of me being married, a quarter of a million dollars.
- A quarter-million dollars? - Yeah.
And that's not all.
You see, my husband, of a year or longer, receives $ 100,000.
Oh! This is so good! This is our hook! No, this is not our hook.
This is my life.
So what are you gonna do now? God.
I don't know.
You know, I mean, that money could pay for all my student loans and it could set me up for I don't know how long.
I mean, Natalie.
She's your wife.
She's my wife.
Ow, ow.
I thought you were gonna be gentle.
- This is gentle.
- No, this is not gentle.
- Okay, that's pain.
- Could you be a bigger wimp? Hey, I hurt my nose playing basketball, okay? That nurse said this is as close to broken as it gets.
If that's not manly, I don't know what is.
You're right.
It is manly.
- Yeah, you're kind of turning me on right now.
- Am I? You know, I could take this opportunity to get a nose job.
Really? You'd consider that? Why? Well, when I was 14, this kid, Kyle, he came to school one day with this big bandage on his nose.
He told everyone he fell off a ladder.
But we all knew he was full of crap, that he was just making up some lame excuse.
But the great thing is you don't need a lame excuse.
You already have one.
Okay, you know I was kidding, right? I don't understand.
What, you hate my nose? - I never said that.
- No, basically you did.
Basically, you just said you hate my nose.
I don't want to talk about your nose.
A second ago you were very verbose about my nose.
You were talking about fixing it like that Kyle guy.
I didn't know that your nose was such a soft spot! Hey.
Hey.
How's it going? It's all right.
Did you file that report? No.
Have you called any hospitals? Nope.
I can help you do that if you want.
No, it's fine.
Thank you.
You can't do nothing.
You know, I've already heard all the speeches.
It's not a speech.
My dad died this summer.
I know.
But it's really not the same thing.
It's not.
I know you didn't know your dad, and I know that was really hard for you.
Sometimes not knowing your dad is a better thing.
I gotta go.
So, tell me about your mother.
My mom's a psychic.
Wait, wait.
She's a professional psychic? No.
No, she sells corporate real estate.
But in her spare time she's an actual psychic.
Wait a minute.
Are you making this up, too? No, I'm not.
I swear, Sean.
I'm not.
Look, when I told her I was thinking of coming to New York, she said, "I know.
" And then she says, "New York is where you'll find your love.
" Do you believe that? I don't know.
I mean, I certainly hope so.
But it's kind of hard believing what your parents say.
You know? Even when they're clairvoyant.
What would you guys do? I mean, if you wanted to get a divorce but knew that you could profit enormously if you didn't.
- And it's just for a year? - Just for a year.
If you stay married to her, I'll never talk to you again.
Reason enough to stay married.
Would it somehow make me a cheaper person if I did it? And don't ask how I could become cheaper.
Wait a second.
Last week you were telling me you had to break up with Natalie.
- Last week she hit you.
- That was sort of for all of us.
You know, for the intervention.
It was more of a communal right hook.
But now that there's money involved, you're actually considering staying married? Well, she made a good point, separate from the money, which is that we have fun together.
I mean, do I really want to throw away my entire relationship with Natalie just so I can finish college? That is a lot of money.
I mean, this is a tough one.
Marriage is sacred.
Noel, I'm telling you.
Run, don't walk.
You cannot stay married to her.
What do you think, Ben? What? Are you okay? I'm sorry.
I got to get out of here.
Ben.
- Ben, can you wait a second? - I just needed to get out of there, okay? Look, I know this is really hard for you.
You can't keep shutting me out.
- It's not about you.
- It is about me.
It's about us.
Not everything needs to be talked about, all right? Just imagine for a second that I was going through something.
Something painful and personal and I wanted my space.
- I'd give you your space.
- At first you would.
At some point, if I looked as sad as you are and if I was going through as much as you are, suffering, you would try to help me.
I don't need a bunch of people trying to figure out why I'm not running around looking for my father, okay? It didn't help the first time, it's not gonna help now.
- What was the first time? - I was in seventh grade.
My dad disappeared for two days.
He just vanished.
I went with my mom to the police station.
Tried to help her fill out the reports.
Then we called the hospitals and then we called the morgues and then we just waited.
For hours.
You want to know where he was, this man I'm supposed to be worried about? He was in his car.
He'd driven 45 minutes to some parking lot in Sacramento and just gotten crazy drunk.
When he got home, he didn't say anything, not a thing.
Acted like nothing had happened.
Like he hadn't done a thing to us.
Yeah, if that was the worst thing he'd ever done, I would have forgiven him, but it wasn't.
So you want to know why I'm not calling anybody? Want to know why I'm not doing anything? 'Cause this time I hope he's dead.
I know we barely know each other.
I'm sorry about all this drama your first couple days.
Oh, no.
No, don't be.
Not at all.
What I was gonna say was that while you were out, I spoke to my mom.
Yeah? Yeah.
And she says that Ben feels really, really bad about yelling at you just now.
On the street.
She said she saw you two arguing on the street.
Where is your mom? London.
She also said that he was going to apologize to you.
Well, tell your mom Oh, she says you're very welcome.
It's not about the money.
It's about burnout.
Did I tell you about Jacob Perlmutter? Mnh-mnh.
Who? I knew him when I was a kid.
He was this total loser.
Started running with the fast crowd, couldn't deal, went mental.
Okay, well, first of all, I'm not a loser.
Okay.
Says you.
My point is, Natalie runs at a different speed.
A speed dangerous to persons such as yourself.
won't even cover medication costs at a place like Bellevue, let alone room and board.
Honey, can I talk to you? Not if it's about your nose.
Hey, what's going on with my hook? - You guys staying married? - I don't know.
What do you think about my nose? - Well, you got stuff - No, no, no.
Not this.
You know, when it's normal, what do you think about it? Oh, well, I really don't think about it.
Well, think about it.
Focus.
Concentrate.
I mean, you don't think it's too big, do you? I mean, not too crooked? Are you thinking about getting a nose job? - Did you say something to him? Okay! Let's talk.
Come here.
More plates.
You know, I think I know what Julie's problem is.
She hasn't dealt with her father yet.
I was the same way when my mother died.
I was acting out like a fool and angry at the world.
You know, and now that Ben is going through this thing with his father, she's reliving the summer.
You know? At least that's the Elena Tyler theory.
You don't agree? No, I do.
I just I'm just more concerned about Ben right now.
I cannot believe you're still upset about that stupid nose-job comment.
- It was a compliment.
- A what? A compliment! - Can I say something? - No, I heard you.
- What did I say? - You said you fully support a nose adjustment.
It's ridiculous.
Hello? The door was open.
- Can I talk to you? - Yeah, I'll just - No, we can, like, go.
- No, no, no, the place is big enough for all of us.
Okay.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You know what? I'm gonna go get some ice cream.
Do you guys want anything? - Chocolate-chip mocha? - Okay.
- Anything chocolate.
- All right.
- Thank you.
I looked through your notebook.
Before you left.
Your four-year plan.
And I want you to know I don't care if you're a geek.
- Okay, Natalie.
- Wait, wait.
Look.
I bought you this.
- What is it? - Open it.
It's RAM.
You bought me RAM? Hey.
Hi.
I shouldn't have done that.
Just walked away from you like that.
I just I shouldn't take things out on you.
I mean, you're not the one that made life growing up so awful.
I just I hate seeing you so upset.
I know.
- Just say that you love my nose, damn it.
- Oh, my God! That's what you should've said.
"I love your nose, and I wouldn't change a thing.
" Ok, I'll tell you what? Why don't you just give me the girlfriend script, and I'll do and say everything you want.
My nose is the one perfect thing about me.
It's the Blumberg nose, and it's been around for centuries.
Just because it's old doesn't mean it's good.
Natalie, we can't stay married.
Look, this is sweet, this gift.
But the truth is that I thought we should split up even before I learned you needed to be married to collect the money.
- That is not why - Let me finish.
Okay? Now, whatever we had was fun.
But it's over now.
I want to go back with you tomorrow, to the judge, and I want to get the annulment.
You know what? I can't deal with you when you're like this.
Well, thank you for being so supportive.
Why don't you and your nose go home? - Fine! - Good! - We will! Finally! Ben, I need to talk to you.
Sure.
What? Alone, okay? Please? No, we don't have to be alone.
Just tell me what it is.
What? St.
Vincent's Hospital called, and your dad's there.
He has alcohol poisoning, and he's unconscious.
- What do you mean? - I filed a missing persons report.
You did what? I told you I didn't want you to do anything.
I don't want to see him.
I don't want to know where he is.
No, you don't mean that.
- Can you give us a second? - I'm not talking to you.
Why would you file that report? This is none of your business.
Ben, you need to go down there, and you need to see him.
- No, I don't want to see him.
- You say that now.
But you're gonna hate yourself later.
What happened with your father is totally different.
You don't know what you are talking about! Because I haven't lost a parent doesn't mean I can't understand.
The hospital said that I was a match, okay? I lied.
I lied about everything.
I could've saved my father's life.
And I said no.
And he died.
And that's why my father died.
Julie.
So do what you want.
Julie.
Dr.
Moran to O.
R.
, stat.
I keep thinking about that look on her face.
- Julie's? - Yeah.
It was so guilty.
Yeah.
And afraid.
I guess if something happened, even to my dad, and I didn't do anything whatever little I could, that, yeah, I might I might have that look, too.
I'm glad you decided to do this.
- Ben Covington? - Yeah.
- He's awake now.
- You're welcome to come back.
- Okay.
Does he know that I'm here? No.
- You wait here, okay? - Okay.
Hey, I'm blending.
What do you want? Here.
Is this picture supposed to mean something to me? Does it look familiar? - I have no idea who this is.
- Just look at it.
Look harder.
- No way.
- Yes.
So, that kid, when I was 14.
That was me.
Wait, you're Kyle? The kid that fell off the ladder? No, there was no Kyle.
I mean, there was a Kyle, but he didn't have a nose job and lie about it.
I did.
Okay, but why? That's so not you.
Because I wasn't always the together girl you know now.
When I was younger, I was a little insecure.
And maybe I still am.
And so are you.
Yeah, maybe a little.
Anyway, I just wanted to say You know What? You're sorry? Yes.
I like your nose.
I love your nose.
Now, can we drop your nose? You are so beautiful now.
- And you were so beautiful then.
- Stop it.
I'm not kidding.
Seriously.
Come here.
Just be careful.
Your Honor, this time I have a true, concrete reason.
No perjury whatsoever.
Excuse me? Nothing.
No.
The fact of the matter is, sir, that I was lured into this marriage under false pretenses.
Just what pretenses were those? I believe that a leading reason for this woman marrying me was that so that she could collect an inheritance from her Great Uncle Frederick.
It appears that this was a marriage based solely on monetary gain of which I knew nothing about.
Well, did you keep the inheritance a secret from Mr.
Crane? Yes, Your Honor.
Well, then, that would be grounds for an annulment.
But, Your Honor, there's one more thing.
- No, there's no thing.
- I'm not keeping the money.
- Why not? - Why not? - I already called my uncle's estate, and I asked that the money be donated to a children's charity in Texas.
And I told them that I'm rejecting my inheritance - out of love for my husband.
- Oh, my God.
No, and I wanted to say this here to prove to the court unequivocally that this marriage is not based on a lie or on money, - but rather on love.
- Why are you doing this? I am making a sacrifice in the name of our sacred bond.
That's all I have to say.
I'm sorry, Your Honor.
I had no idea.
Mr.
Crane.
Yes, sir.
I'm leaving.
I won't come back until we get this all figured out.
- Don't come back.
- Well, sir, I have to.
Get a different judge.
Okay.
Fine.
Fine, I see what you're doing.
You said all that stuff to try to manipulate me so I would think you actually cared about me so I would reconsider staying with you so you get your money.
Fine.
Well, I'm calling your bluff.
Let's stay married and not take the money.
Noel, it wasn't a bluff.
That's what I want.
Wait.
No, that wasn't the reaction I expected.
I meant everything I said to you before.
And if I have to give up hundreds of thousands of dollars to prove it to you, then I will.
Like I said, I'm not worried about money.
You know, that stuff just always kind of works itself out.
And all I'm saying to you is let's just, you know, let's just see where this goes.
Okay.
Okay.
If this is not about the money, if this is really about us, then there's only one way that I can stay with you.
We have to get the marriage annulled and start from scratch.
Look, it doesn't mean that we're breaking up.
It just means we're starting over.
Okay? That's what I need.
Well, if that's the way it has to be, then I guess I understand.
Because I do care about you enough to let you go.
I mean, if that's what you really need.
Thank you.
So we're starting over.
We'll start over.
You know about what you said at our first annulment attempt.
You know, about how I was the best lover you ever had.
That's not true, is it? You pretty much put everyone else to shame.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
He's gonna fly home tomorrow.
How did your mom sound? Relieved.
She just sounded really relieved.
What about you? I guess I'm relieved, too.
* What a beautiful piece of heartache * * This has all turned out to be * What's going on? Hey, have you seen Julie? Oh, I thought you guys knew she was leaving.
I mean, she packed up all her stuff and she left.
No, we had no idea.
What is that? So, Sean wanted me to He keeps bugging me to talk into this stupid camera, so I'll take advantage of it.
As you guys probably already know, I'm leaving.
I just want to say that I am so sorry for being difficult.
It's just that I've been going through some stuff that you guys didn't know about.
And, Elena, I know you were just trying to be a good friend.
And I'm sorry that I shut you out.
I hope you can forgive me.
And, Noel, I really want you to know that I'm so happy you're getting your life back together again.
And, Sean.
I'm really gonna miss you.
Thank you.
For giving me a home for the last two years.
And I'm really glad that you and Meghan are happy together.
And, Meghan, be nice to him.
He deserves it.
And, Ben.
I didn't mean to meddle in your business.
I'm sorry.
And I just I want to thank you.
For everything.
I'll never forget it.
You know how there's some people in your life that you meet that you feel like you've known forever? Well, for me that's you.
And, Felicity.
I don't think I could've made it this far without you.
I'm sorry that we fought last night.
I'm so sorry.
But I know that we're better friends than that.
And I know that you know that, too.
See, the thing is, is I came to New York to learn more about my birth parents.
And I ended up just making more of a mess.
I just don't think that New York is the place for me right now.
And I don't even know where I'm going.
But Hopefully, this time, I'll I'll learn more about myself.
I'm really gonna miss you guys.
And this isn't goodbye forever.
This is just goodbye for right now.
So I'll see you when I see you.
* Tell them it's real * * Tell them it's really real * * I just don't have much left to say *