Firefly s01e09 Episode Script

Did you ever read the works of Shan Yu? Shan Yu the psychotic dictator? Yep.
Fancied himself quite the warrior poet.
Wrote volumes on war, torture the limits of human endurance.
That's nice.
He said, "Live with a man 40 years.
"Share his house, his meals.
Speak on every subject.
"Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano's edge.
And on that day, you will finally meet the man.
" - What if you don't live near a volcano? - I expect he was being poetical.
Sadistic crap legitimized by florid prose.
Tell me you're not a fan.
I'm just wondering if they were the people who did this to your sister.
The government did this to her.
A government is a body of people usually notably ungoverned.
Now you're quoting the captain.
I'm just wondering if they put her through this just to see how much she could take.
- "To truly meet her," as Shan Yu would have said.
- No.
The more I see, the more I think their purpose was very specific.
And look at this, the pattern.
Besides, if all they cared about was hurting River, they wouldn't still be after her.
- But she's doing better? - I've tried a couple different medications.
She's sleeping better.
But nothing really stable.
I'll keep trying.
I've certainly got enough drugs on hand.
Yes, I'd forgotten.
You're moonlighting as a criminal mastermind now.
Got your next heist planned? No.
But I'm thinking about growing a big, black mustache.
I'm a traditionalist.
Halt, please.
So, now we are past, uh, preliminaries, the little questions.
Why you skim from protection fund.
How you could betray my trust.
This we are past.
Now we get to the real questions about who you truly are.
I'm sorry, sir.
Might be Serenity, Malcolm Reynolds's ship.
Oh oh, this is exciting news.
Send a team.
Bring him here to me.
- Very exciting.
- Yes, sir.
Now, we get to spend some time finding out about your true self.
Tell me.
Are you familiar with the works of Shan Yu? ~ Take my love, take my land ~ ~ Take me where I cannot stand ~ ~I don't care, I'm still free ~ ~ You can't take the sky from me ~ ~ Take me out to the black ~ ~ Tell them I ain't comin'back ~ ~ Burn the land and boil the sea ~ ~ You can't take the sky from me ~ ~ There's no place I can be ~ ~ Since I've found serenity ~ ~ But you can't take the sky from me ~~ River! I said yes already.
Where's the outstanding issue? The counselor is an important political figure and a very private person.
So he visits you here instead of you going to his place, fine.
Is the ship not clean enough? I just want the counselor to feel comfortable.
And when I say "comfortable," I mean "totally alone.
" I love the pitter-patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots.
Shut up! There's nobody sets foot on my boat that I don't meet him.
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna start any sword fights.
I'm over that phase.
I'd appreciate it if you'd keep the others from ogling.
One of you is gonna fall and die, and I'm not cleaning it up.
- She took my apple.
- Jayne bought a crate of them.
- And this one's mine.
- Not anymore.
Okay.
No power in the 'verse can stop me.
These really are the genuine article.
I could get used to being rich.
It's Jayne being so generous with his cut that confuses and frightens me.
It does kind of freeze the blood.
- Zoe, how come you always cut your apples? - You do? Her and the captain both.
Whenever we get fresh fruit - they neverjust munch on them.
- You know what a Griswald is? - It's a grenade.
- About the size of a battery.
It responds to pressure.
Our platoon was stuck in a trench outside of New Kashmir during the winter campaign.
More than a week, completely cut off and the Alliance entrenched not 10 yards away.
We even got to talking to 'em, yelling across insults and jokes and such.
'Cause no ammo to speak of, no orders, so what are you gonna do? We mentioned that we were out of rations, and 1 0 minutes later a bunch of apples rained into the trench.
And they grew into a big tree, and they all climbed up the tree into a magical land with unicorns and a harp.
Blew off their heads, huh? Captain said, "Wait.
" But they were so hungry.
Don't make much noise.
Just little pops and there's three guys that kind of just end at the rib cage.
But these apples are healthsome and good.
Yeah, grenades cost extra.
We are about 20,000 miles from our last drop, people.
Then we can take a break and start thinking about spending - some of this money.
- All right.
- Could have made more.
- That wasn't a bad idea, Wash but eliminating the middleman - never as simple as it sounds.
- You heard about-- About 50% of the human race is middlemen and they don't take kindly to being eliminated.
In this quadrant, we play nice.
Got enemies enough as it is.
So, when you said that you didn't get a chance to tell the captain my idea-- Mm-hmm.
What you actually meant was that you told him my idea, he rejected it out of hand and you didn't argue the point or even give it another thought.
- I gave, honey.
I-I-- - And then came the lying to me about it.
Which for me is sort of the highlight of this little adventure.
Is there any way I'm gonna get out of this with honor and dignity? - You're pretty much down to ritual suicide, lamby toes.
- I didn't want to upset you.
- What did you think of it? - Of what? My idea.
Call the local M.
D.
s.
Forget the fence.
Go straight to the source.
Better prices, and we know the drugs get to the right people.
The captain thinks it'll get back to someone,just cause trouble.
Was I ever not asking what the captain thought? - Well, I tend to agree with him.
- Tend to or have to? I love that you two are old army buddies.
You have wacky stories with rib cages in them But could you have an opinion of your own, please? You're losing the high ground here, sweetcakes.
I'm sure you and Mal will take that hill and fortify it-- I thought your plan was too risky.
- I thought.
- Then tell me.
I am a large, semi-muscular man.
I can take it.
Don't hide behind Mal 'cause you know he'll shoot it down for you.
- Tell me.
- Right.
'Cause what this marriage needs is one more shouting match.
No, what this marriage needs is one less husband.
Right now it's kind of crowded.
Whoa.
Mei-mei.
- How you doing? - I threw up.
I'm sorry.
It's a side effect.
We just have to find the right treatment for you.
How do you feel now? Going.
Going back, like apple bits coming back up.
Chaos.
But you felt okay this morning? Played with Kaylee.
The sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears.
I ate the bits.
The bits did stay down.
And I work.
I function like I'm a girl.
I hate it because I know it'll go away.
The sun goes dark, and chaos is come again.
It's fluids.
What am I? You are my beautiful sister.
I threw up on your bed.
Yep, definitely my sister.
Didn't Inara express a wish for privacy? Oh, I gotta see who she's got.
I bet he's handsome.
I think he's gonna bring her flowers.
Oh, there he is.
Well, he looks the respectable sort.
Welcome aboard.
I'm Captain Malcolm Rey-- We're all clear here, Counselor.
- Huh.
- Oh, my.
Oh, gosh, I-- I-- I knew she took female clients.
I just-- They look so glamorous together.
I'll be in my bunk.
Lucrative as this stuff is, I'll be glad to see the last of it.
- It kind of makes us a target.
- Was River in here messing around? The ignition sequence is all turned about.
- I can't even-- - I can.
- Get it set, would you, Wash? We gotta get moving.
- Here's a funny twist.
No.
- No, what? - No, sir.
You changed the sequence? Didn't want you taking off without me.
In fact, didn't want you taking off at all.
Thought I might take this run instead, me and the captain.
The captain who's standing right here telling you that's not gonna happen? Well, it's a dangerous mission, sir.
I can't stand the thought of something happening that might cause you two to come back with another thrilling tale of bonding and adventure.
- I just can't take that right now.
- Okay.
Um, I'm lost.
Uh, I'm angry.
And I'm armed.
- So if you two have something that you need to work out-- - It's all right, sir.
We've dealt with Bosch before.
It shouldn't be a problem.
And I wouldn't mind sitting this one out.
Oh, this is a-- But I don't have time to unwind it.
Wash, get her started.
- Zoe, the ship is yours.
- Bye, hon.
We promise not to stop for beers with the fellas.
- So, are we gonna sing army songs or something? That feels amazing.
Oh, right there.
That's perfect.
I should have done this weeks ago.
I wouldn't have been here weeks ago.
- Then that would have been a shame.
- For me as well.
You have such beautiful skin.
You have such beautiful skin.
There's no need for the show, Inara.
I just need to relax with someone who's making no demands on me.
Most of my clientele is male.
Do you know that? No.
If I choose a woman she tends to be extraordinary in some way.
And the fact is I occasionally have the exact same need you do.
One cannot always be oneself in the company of men.
- Never, actually.
- So no show.
Let's just enjoy ourselves.
You are so lovely.
Look, this thing with you and Zoe.
Really not looking to talk on that topic.
Hey.
I let that niou-se trick of yours slide because this is a milk run.
But when I go on a mission, I'm taking Zoe and that's the drill.
You know that.
- I mean, what happens if we get into a situation here? - Hey.
I've been in a firefight before.
Well, I was in a fire.
Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.
I can handle myself.
And you understand what Zoe's job entails? I'll learn as I go.
So now I'm learning about carrying? Nice to know you're still trustworthy.
Not so trustworthy I don't wanna see the money you promised me.
Man, I can't believe you guys knocked over an Alliance hospital.
The pair you have.
Yeah, the stuff legends are-- Tzao-gao.
Now I'm learning about scary.
- I'll be in my bunk.
- Jayne, grab your weapon.
- Why? What's going on? - Maybe nothing.
Maybe trouble.
- The drop? - They're late.
They should've been back more than an hour ago.
We go by ground.
We'll take the mule.
I'll go with you.
No offense, Shepherd, but I sure as hell hope they don't need a preacher.
Three sets of eyes are better than two.
I might see something you don't.
Let's move.
None of them's ours.
This is precision work.
Sharpshooters.
From the look of these wounds, I'd say a 54-R sniper rifle, laser sights.
You do a lot of shooting at the abbey there, Shepherd? - Rabbits.
- For stew, sure.
Whoever did this, they weren't after the goods.
We ain't gonna find 'em here.
They're off-planet already.
Only one type of transport I know makes a mark like this.
- Fast burn rocket shuttle.
- Craft like that are not commonly part of a ship.
- More likely we're looking at-- - The space station.
Yeah.
I know who's got them.
You okay? - I think I've been kidnapped.
- Yeah.
- Can you see where we are? - No.
Mal, what the hell is going on? - I ain't rightly sure.
- But you've got some theories.
- Still working it through.
- I don't want you to spare me, Mal.
If you think you know what's happening, then you tell me.
You wouldn't spare Zoe if she were in this situation with you, would you? You would be planning and plotting and possibly scheming.
So whatever Zoe would do in this instance is what I wanna do.
And you know why? Because no matter how ugly it gets you two always come back with the stories.
So I'm Zoe.
Now what do I do? - Probably not talk quite so much.
- Right.
Less talking.
She's terse.
I can be terse.
Once in flight school, I was laconic.
If I'm not gonna talk, then you have to.
What else? - We just gotta keep our heads.
- Right.
Keep our heads.
That way we'll be able to you know, keep our heads.
You and Zoe have been in plenty of situations like this before, right? - Many a time.
- Many a time, you and Zoe.
Once we know who it was took us-- Zoe and you, together in a tricky-- - Mal, she's my wife.
- Huh? What gives you the right to put her in a dangerous situation like this? - I didn't.
- You did.
- She ain't here, Wash.
Okay.
- No, but she would have been.
I mean, I'm the one that she swore to love, honor and obey.
Listen, if-- She swore to obey? Well, no.
Not-- But that's just my point! You, she obeys.
She obeys you.
There's obeying going on right under my nose.
Look.
Zoe and I have a history.
She trusts me.
- What's that supposed to mean? - Don't mean a thing.
But you're making out like she blindly follows my every word.
- That ain't true.
- Sure it is.
Not so.
There's plenty of orders of mine that she didn't obey.
- Name one! - She married you! What? - Here's all I got left.
- Thanks.
-Jayne.
- How do you know he won't just grab you as well? Don't think that's like to happen.
I walk in there unarmed, make the offer.
This guy has his own code, twisted as it may be, very excited about reputation.
- He'll see reason.
- Reason? He's a gangster.
The money he paid you for that other job, it was already returned to him.
Could be he's harboring some resentment at us for putting his man through our engine.
Wait a reasonable amount of time.
But if you don't hear back I want you to take Serenity and get out of this quadrant.
If this don't play out right, there's no guarantee he won't come looking for the rest of you.
I'm not gonna say it again.
Shipboard romances complicate things.
- For who, for you? - For everyone.
Well, what about lov-- I ain't against it as a rule.
But in a situation such as ours, it tends to cause problems.
It splits loyalties.
- You know what I think? - What? What, Wash? What do you think? Because I'm interested.
This policy you got against shipboard relationships.
That's just you projecting your own intimacy issues on everyone else.
Of course, could be a lot simpler than that.
Could be I just don't think you're good enough for Zoe.
- I don't give a good gorram what you think.
- Oh, don't you? Zoe and I, we got a history.
I figure you gotta be askin' yourself some fundamental questions as to the nature of that history.
You never slept with my wife.
Matter of fact, you know that for sure, don't you? You ever ask her? We been together for a long time before you came along, Wash.
And she's a damn fine-looking woman.
It never happened.
You know how I know? How? Tell me.
This whole captain thing isn't Zoe's trouble.
It's the guy she never slept with thing.
Hell, Mal, I wish you had slept with her.
Then at least she'd be over it.
Oh, you want me to sleep with her? Would that make you feel better? - It might.
- I imagine it would do wonders for her.
- Screw you.
- Get in line.
Okay, Wash.
I'm gonna do it.
- Wash.
Wash.
- Hmm? Listen, first thing when we get back.
Listen to me! First thing when we get back, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna take your wife into my bed.
- Yeah? - I'm gonna get me a piece of that-- I'm unarmed.
I wanna talk to Niska.
Ah.
No.
N-No.
Run.
Run.
That's five times what you paid us for the train job.
Yes.
You have had, uh, you say, good times.
I see that.
It should be more than enough to buy back my men.
- This is your opinion, is it? - It is.
They are perhaps damaged now.
- Are they worth so much to you? - Yes.
And to me they are worth more.
I think this is not enough.
Not enough for two.
But sufficient perhaps for one.
Ah, you now have-- Him.
I'm sorry.
You were going to ask me to choose, right? Do you want to finish? He is yours.
We are ended now.
M-Mal? Shh, just keep walking.
A moment please.
This money, it is too much.
You should have some small refund.
Now we are ended.
He's insane.
- I know it.
- I mean, you told the damn stories.
He saved you in the war.
- But I didn't know.
- You mean Mal? He's crazy.
He wouldn't break, Zoe.
- He kept me from-- - Okay.
- I wouldn't have made it.
- Shh.
Niska's gonna kill him.
He's gonna make it last as long as possible.
Days if he can.
The bastard's not gonna get days.
- Thank God, you're safe.
- You okay? What happened? - Let me take a look.
- How bad is it? - I'm fine.
- Where's Mal? - Niska wouldn't let him go.
- Is he alive? For now.
Take that to the infirmary.
Put it on ice.
W-What is that? It's his ear.
- We're getting him back.
- What are we gonna do, clone him? Well, it's a clean cut.
With the right equipment, I should be able to reattach it.
That's assuming there's a head.
Do you know the writings of Shan Yu? You starting a book club? What, you trying to torture-- trying to torture me? Yes, today we meet you.
And you are quite a man, an extraordinary man, yes.
But these are not times for extraordinary men.
Business is not war.
Heroics are unseemly.
They complicate.
For you I have a special machine.
Very precious.
And they say people don't look like their pets.
Let us see if we can meet the real you.
Here.
Six shots and then just drop it.
Keep moving.
This here is suicide.
You do know that, don't you? You really think you can mount a two-man frontal assault on Niska's skyplex and live? Technically, it's a one-man, one-woman assault, a unisex.
- Grenades? - Oh, yes.
Thank you, dear.
- He won't be expecting it.
- Right.
'Cause they ain't insane.
Uh, I just got a wave from Inara.
No luck with the counselor.
- What are they doing? - Fixin' to get themselves killed.
- We're gonna go get the captain.
- Oh.
Good.
- Can they do that? - No.
You know, there's a certain motto a creed among folks like us.
You may have heard it.
Leave no man behind.
Suicide.
Got a good look at the layout on my way in last time.
You let me lead.
Cover my back.
- What's this? - We're going with you.
If it were any one of us, the captain wouldn't hesitate.
Here you go.
This should do.
Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing? Quite specific.
It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.
If you're looking for me to talk you out of it-- What? Let's go get the captain.
Yep.
He's dead.
Mr.
Reynolds.
You died, Mr.
Reynolds.
Seemed like the thing to do.
When you die, I can't hurt you anymore.
And I want two days at least, minimum.
I think many people know the name Malcolm Reynolds.
Many know he cross Niska.
They must know what happens after that.
They must know that business is still running.
- You really think this'll work? - Well except for the com static I'm piping out on all frequencies we've been completely powered down since I fired the attitude thrusters a half hour ago.
We should show up on their screens as a radar glitch if they aren't looking too close.
What if they are looking too close? Hell, I'm just glad we're on course.
It's like throwing a dart,Jayne.
And hitting a bull's-eye 6,000 miles away.
- That's my man.
- You guys better get down to the bay.
We'll be at their front door in less than a minute.
I'm right behind you, baby.
- Book, you good? - Yes, ma'am.
Ready when you are.
Kaylee, how you doing on that override sequence? Pretty sure this will pop their air lock doors if Wash can get a seal on his first try.
I'm smellin' a lot of "if" coming off this plan.
- You could've stayed in your bunk.
- Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
- We're set.
- Okay, people.
If it moves, shoot it.
- Unless it's the captain.
- Unless it's the captain.
Listen.
If you've got guests, I can come back later.
- Move, move, move.
- Take cover.
Second team.
Hold this position.
We lose this ground.
We lose it all.
You're going to hold this ground.
Understand me? - Understood.
- Okay then.
Viktor, what is this? Viktor! Looks like business ain't running so much as crawling away.
You wanna meet the real me now? Gorrammit.
Book, we, uh-- Follow me.
Get behind us, Preacher.
We need cover.
Don't think,just shoot.
Can't look.
Can't look.
No power in the 'verse can stop me.
Haven't you killed me enough for one day? Jayne.
This is something the captain has to do for himself.
- No.
No, it's not.
- Oh.
You sure this thing's gonna stay on? Well, this dermal mender creates an excellent tissue bond.
It should be fine.
Just don't-- don't fiddle with it.
Be sure to, uh, thank the counselor for me.
Awful nice for her to pull some strings and lend us this equipment.
It's the least she could do.
I just wish you had killed that old bastard.
I got regrets on that score my own self.
So, I hear y'all took up arms in that little piece of action back there.
How you faring with that, Doctor? I don't know.
I never shot anyone before.
I was there, son.
I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet.
Ow.
Mmm.
Wife soup.
I must have done good.
Yes, dear.
You done good.
Ow.
- Did you tell her? - Tell her what? Your husband has demanded that we sleep together.
- Really? - What? Mal, come on.
He seems to think it would get all this burning sexual tension out in the open.
- You know, make a fair fight for your womanly affections.
- No.
That was the torture talking.
Remember the torture? I know it's a difficult mission, but you and I have to get it on.
I understand.
We have no choice.
- Take me, sir.
Take me hard.
- Now something about that is just downright unsettling.
We'll be in our bunk.
Oh, hey.
Free soup.
Grr! Arrgh!