Frisky Dingo (2006) s02e10 Episode Script
Wendell Goes Undercover Again
KILLFACE: Previously on "Frisky Dingo" Boosh ! STAN: My god, a missile! We've been hit! Boosh ! Boosh! Boosh! Boosh! Boosh! Boosh! Boosh! What? Oh, no, no! Pull up! [ Chuckles .]
Boosh.
[sighs.]
You know Come on, already! Stupid parachute! - If you want to go ahead and deploy it, - I'm trying.
Now would probably be a good time! [gasps.]
This is the wrong suit! Did not see this coming.
[ Both scream .]
[drill whirs.]
KILLFACE: All right, I've got the old coupling out.
[screaming continues .]
[ Chuckles .]
[thud, car alarm sounds.]
Boosh.
KILLFACE: And I don't see what's so damn funny about an airplane destroying our condo.
You know, your things burned up, too.
[mumbles.]
KILLFACE: Oh, I don't know -- like your stash of Swiss cake rolls.
What? [car alarm beeps .]
- Yes.
- [ mumbling.]
KILLFACE: Oh, did a burglar break in and duct-tape them inside the toilet-tank lid? Um no.
KILLFACE: No, because that's not profitable.
[mumbles.]
KILLFACE: Oh, shut up.
Snacky Onassis.
[gasps.]
[ Gasps .]
There! Did you feel that? - Umm - Is that a kick, or He just kicked! You didn't feel that? I'm sorry, I really don't feel anything.
[gasp.]
- Whoa! - Holy crap! - Now that time, I felt it.
Wow, man, he's a regular Tom Dempsey.
But hopefully without the birth defects, right? - Dude.
- Why would you say that? Oh, I'm really sorry.
I think my mouth has a birth defect.
Come on, man! I just did it again, see? Hey.
He'll have hands.
He's going to be perfect.
XANDER: Yeah, I-I-I-I-I don't know about this.
WENDELL: What do you mean? This is perfect.
I sneak up there, find beddy-bug lady --jingo! Cut that kid out of her.
Yeah, I don't know, buddy.
We're dealing with some profound ideologies here.
On the one side, he's anti-abortion.
On the other side, Jingo! I got a machete, so Deal with it, Congress.
You can't legislate morality, although you can legislate machetes.
- Turns out.
- [ belches .]
- Which, umm Thank god this isn't Canada.
Yeah, you're a little pocket Zorro.
You can't do this by yourself.
That's why I rigged up a camera and two-way radio in the old brain bucket.
Yeah, see that? You see what I see.
Oh, my god.
Stop staring at my halo! - I'm sorry.
It's just, uh -- - Uh, retarded? - Yeah.
- Kind of like your plan, which is straight out of' "Mission: Impossible"! Oh, you saw that? Uh, yeah.
Well, did you see "lnner Space"? [sighs.]
Because I have access to a top-secret device -- A shrink ray if you will Just like in "lnner Space"! DOCTOR: which I can use to shrink you and this experimental submersible WENDELL: What ever happened to Martin Short'? - down to the size of a blood clot.
- He never caught on.
- Then we inject you into his brain, - Wait what? Where you access his motor functions and adrenal glands, then utilize your superhero abilities to turn Wendell "X" into an unstoppable fighting machine.
Hmm Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that because it is retarded! - Wendell? - Yo! Yes? Go kill that baby, buddy.
Now, there's a movie I haven't seen.
Uh "Vera Drake"? Didn't see it.
It's, for an abortion movie, pretty funny.
Let's rent it.
- Done! - Okay.
All abort! Dock-dock! - Whoa! - That is adorable! Oh, he's really getting worked up.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely some activity down here.
What? Can you see him? Is he crowning? I don't know or care what that means.
He's gonna come soon! I can feel it! You can feel that? LOBSTER: Oh, Sinn, isn't it beautiful? Beautiful? It's disgusting.
Wait, but .
.
Vagina getting all mushed out? That doesn't just snap back.
Don't you want to have babies with me? - My god, no! Arthur! - What? what? I have a career as a supervillain.
Well, Henchperson.
Hench person? I happen to wield the awesome power of the Annihilatrix.
Well, you still need the launch code.
Duh.
Frisky Dingo.
What does that mean, anyway? All that remains is to track down that spare coupling.
All right, wipe the jelly off and give me that spare coupling.
[mumbles.]
KILLFACE: What-- Where is it? Um MAN: Totally out of nowhere, 'cause I was all like, "you're so distant.
What are we doing?" And he was like, "you're so emotionally needy," and then he just shows up with this.
Hmm? No, dude.
It's [bleep.]
platinum! [ Chuckles .]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
[mumbles.]
It's got to work! So angry right now.
TAQU'lL: Holy crap! Saved by my Haggar suit.
Did not see that coming.
Thank god for the quality workmanship in Haggar's patented suit-up system.
God, those are great suits.
But what made that car alarm go off? One of my shoes flew off.
Too bad Haggar doesn't make shoes.
[ Both laugh .]
Haggar shoes.
But now what do we do? Oh, leave that to Haggar's "do it to it" comfort waistband with grappling hook.
Aah! [ Clang! .]
Okay, hang on.
[ Smooches .]
For luck.
SINN: Don't do this to me! - Not now! - When, then? After! After I enact my evil plan! But your plan's to destroy the world.
When did you get so emotionally needy? Also, there's a decent chance that me and her are gonna be gay for each other.
Yeah, also that.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
This is actually kind of a lot for me to process all at once.
Well, process it while you kill Antagone.
What?! Snap.
KILLFACE: He lives in our building? Oh, my god, a Tea Baggins right under my nose.
[mumbles.]
My fault? Oh, I suppose all those terrifying nights you were down with the croup -- that was me praying, "Oh, god, if you'd just let him breathe, he could be gay as a tangerine when he grows up.
" [mumbles.]
You what? When-- Why did you lie about being gay? [mumbles.]
Well, you certainly got your wish.
I'm not the bloody President now, am I? I'm not'?! Doesn't look like it.
And do you, Mr.
Ford, solemnly swear to defend the Constitution of the United States of America? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
TAQU'lL: Damn it, we got to get back to the White House and expose Mr.
Ford! No.
If I know Mr.
Ford, he's already taken the necessary countermeasures.
Uh, sir, I cannot understand you.
Dofflegegger.
Double kegger? Are you deaf? Dollergegger! Damn it Are you trying to say, "doppelganger"? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, be advised, the former President may have a doppelganger.
That's what he said.
Damn you, Mr.
Ford! KILLFACE: What do you mean, you don't have it? - I gave it to Steve.
- [ gasps.]
Wha-- Who the hell is Steve?! I'm into it -- you know, of course.
I just thought you'd be morealbino-y.
Um I think that was taken in winter.
Well -- hey, is that a platinum necklace? Okay, here's the deal.
Give me that necklace I'll let you suck me off.
[mumbles.]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
Where is he, you fuzzy little fruit? I happen to don't know! [mumbles.]
No, he never called me back.
[ Blows raspberry .]
[ Chuckles .]
MAN: Hey, who the hell are you? WENDELL: Um, I'm Steve -- from, uh Machete Squad.
And you're doing I'm fixing this thing with a machete.
Good job, Steve! Commence "Operation Vera Drake.
" COMPUTER: Intruder detected.
Jingo Come on, Steve! You can fix that thing later! Intruder detected.
Deceptacles! Let's move! What is it? What is that? Ernie, let's go! [grunts.]
Yeah, I'm done here.
Please, you must protect my baby.
Don't worry, nobody is gonna hurt that baby.
Move, crab man! You hear that, my sweet darling? No one will ever, ever hurt you.
Oh, my god.
I can't kill Antagone.
I'm in love with her.
[ Gasps .]
Me, too! Aren't you a little short and/or chubby to be a Deceptacle? Huh? Oh, the helmet.
I'm Wendell X I'm here to rescue you.
You're what? XANDER: What?! WENDELL: Her -- here to rescue her.
Did not see that coming.
Wendell! 'Cause I love her.
Hey, me too! We should totally team up! XANDER: Wendell! Could lride you? Goddamn it.
Socan we watch "Vera Drake" now? sub/idx: METdeath srt corrections: agi24cz rls: Moonsong
Boosh.
[sighs.]
You know Come on, already! Stupid parachute! - If you want to go ahead and deploy it, - I'm trying.
Now would probably be a good time! [gasps.]
This is the wrong suit! Did not see this coming.
[ Both scream .]
[drill whirs.]
KILLFACE: All right, I've got the old coupling out.
[screaming continues .]
[ Chuckles .]
[thud, car alarm sounds.]
Boosh.
KILLFACE: And I don't see what's so damn funny about an airplane destroying our condo.
You know, your things burned up, too.
[mumbles.]
KILLFACE: Oh, I don't know -- like your stash of Swiss cake rolls.
What? [car alarm beeps .]
- Yes.
- [ mumbling.]
KILLFACE: Oh, did a burglar break in and duct-tape them inside the toilet-tank lid? Um no.
KILLFACE: No, because that's not profitable.
[mumbles.]
KILLFACE: Oh, shut up.
Snacky Onassis.
[gasps.]
[ Gasps .]
There! Did you feel that? - Umm - Is that a kick, or He just kicked! You didn't feel that? I'm sorry, I really don't feel anything.
[gasp.]
- Whoa! - Holy crap! - Now that time, I felt it.
Wow, man, he's a regular Tom Dempsey.
But hopefully without the birth defects, right? - Dude.
- Why would you say that? Oh, I'm really sorry.
I think my mouth has a birth defect.
Come on, man! I just did it again, see? Hey.
He'll have hands.
He's going to be perfect.
XANDER: Yeah, I-I-I-I-I don't know about this.
WENDELL: What do you mean? This is perfect.
I sneak up there, find beddy-bug lady --jingo! Cut that kid out of her.
Yeah, I don't know, buddy.
We're dealing with some profound ideologies here.
On the one side, he's anti-abortion.
On the other side, Jingo! I got a machete, so Deal with it, Congress.
You can't legislate morality, although you can legislate machetes.
- Turns out.
- [ belches .]
- Which, umm Thank god this isn't Canada.
Yeah, you're a little pocket Zorro.
You can't do this by yourself.
That's why I rigged up a camera and two-way radio in the old brain bucket.
Yeah, see that? You see what I see.
Oh, my god.
Stop staring at my halo! - I'm sorry.
It's just, uh -- - Uh, retarded? - Yeah.
- Kind of like your plan, which is straight out of' "Mission: Impossible"! Oh, you saw that? Uh, yeah.
Well, did you see "lnner Space"? [sighs.]
Because I have access to a top-secret device -- A shrink ray if you will Just like in "lnner Space"! DOCTOR: which I can use to shrink you and this experimental submersible WENDELL: What ever happened to Martin Short'? - down to the size of a blood clot.
- He never caught on.
- Then we inject you into his brain, - Wait what? Where you access his motor functions and adrenal glands, then utilize your superhero abilities to turn Wendell "X" into an unstoppable fighting machine.
Hmm Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that because it is retarded! - Wendell? - Yo! Yes? Go kill that baby, buddy.
Now, there's a movie I haven't seen.
Uh "Vera Drake"? Didn't see it.
It's, for an abortion movie, pretty funny.
Let's rent it.
- Done! - Okay.
All abort! Dock-dock! - Whoa! - That is adorable! Oh, he's really getting worked up.
Oh, yeah.
Definitely some activity down here.
What? Can you see him? Is he crowning? I don't know or care what that means.
He's gonna come soon! I can feel it! You can feel that? LOBSTER: Oh, Sinn, isn't it beautiful? Beautiful? It's disgusting.
Wait, but .
.
Vagina getting all mushed out? That doesn't just snap back.
Don't you want to have babies with me? - My god, no! Arthur! - What? what? I have a career as a supervillain.
Well, Henchperson.
Hench person? I happen to wield the awesome power of the Annihilatrix.
Well, you still need the launch code.
Duh.
Frisky Dingo.
What does that mean, anyway? All that remains is to track down that spare coupling.
All right, wipe the jelly off and give me that spare coupling.
[mumbles.]
KILLFACE: What-- Where is it? Um MAN: Totally out of nowhere, 'cause I was all like, "you're so distant.
What are we doing?" And he was like, "you're so emotionally needy," and then he just shows up with this.
Hmm? No, dude.
It's [bleep.]
platinum! [ Chuckles .]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
[mumbles.]
It's got to work! So angry right now.
TAQU'lL: Holy crap! Saved by my Haggar suit.
Did not see that coming.
Thank god for the quality workmanship in Haggar's patented suit-up system.
God, those are great suits.
But what made that car alarm go off? One of my shoes flew off.
Too bad Haggar doesn't make shoes.
[ Both laugh .]
Haggar shoes.
But now what do we do? Oh, leave that to Haggar's "do it to it" comfort waistband with grappling hook.
Aah! [ Clang! .]
Okay, hang on.
[ Smooches .]
For luck.
SINN: Don't do this to me! - Not now! - When, then? After! After I enact my evil plan! But your plan's to destroy the world.
When did you get so emotionally needy? Also, there's a decent chance that me and her are gonna be gay for each other.
Yeah, also that.
- Yeah.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
This is actually kind of a lot for me to process all at once.
Well, process it while you kill Antagone.
What?! Snap.
KILLFACE: He lives in our building? Oh, my god, a Tea Baggins right under my nose.
[mumbles.]
My fault? Oh, I suppose all those terrifying nights you were down with the croup -- that was me praying, "Oh, god, if you'd just let him breathe, he could be gay as a tangerine when he grows up.
" [mumbles.]
You what? When-- Why did you lie about being gay? [mumbles.]
Well, you certainly got your wish.
I'm not the bloody President now, am I? I'm not'?! Doesn't look like it.
And do you, Mr.
Ford, solemnly swear to defend the Constitution of the United States of America? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
TAQU'lL: Damn it, we got to get back to the White House and expose Mr.
Ford! No.
If I know Mr.
Ford, he's already taken the necessary countermeasures.
Uh, sir, I cannot understand you.
Dofflegegger.
Double kegger? Are you deaf? Dollergegger! Damn it Are you trying to say, "doppelganger"? Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Uh, be advised, the former President may have a doppelganger.
That's what he said.
Damn you, Mr.
Ford! KILLFACE: What do you mean, you don't have it? - I gave it to Steve.
- [ gasps.]
Wha-- Who the hell is Steve?! I'm into it -- you know, of course.
I just thought you'd be morealbino-y.
Um I think that was taken in winter.
Well -- hey, is that a platinum necklace? Okay, here's the deal.
Give me that necklace I'll let you suck me off.
[mumbles.]
Well, or Marc Anthony.
Where is he, you fuzzy little fruit? I happen to don't know! [mumbles.]
No, he never called me back.
[ Blows raspberry .]
[ Chuckles .]
MAN: Hey, who the hell are you? WENDELL: Um, I'm Steve -- from, uh Machete Squad.
And you're doing I'm fixing this thing with a machete.
Good job, Steve! Commence "Operation Vera Drake.
" COMPUTER: Intruder detected.
Jingo Come on, Steve! You can fix that thing later! Intruder detected.
Deceptacles! Let's move! What is it? What is that? Ernie, let's go! [grunts.]
Yeah, I'm done here.
Please, you must protect my baby.
Don't worry, nobody is gonna hurt that baby.
Move, crab man! You hear that, my sweet darling? No one will ever, ever hurt you.
Oh, my god.
I can't kill Antagone.
I'm in love with her.
[ Gasps .]
Me, too! Aren't you a little short and/or chubby to be a Deceptacle? Huh? Oh, the helmet.
I'm Wendell X I'm here to rescue you.
You're what? XANDER: What?! WENDELL: Her -- here to rescue her.
Did not see that coming.
Wendell! 'Cause I love her.
Hey, me too! We should totally team up! XANDER: Wendell! Could lride you? Goddamn it.
Socan we watch "Vera Drake" now? sub/idx: METdeath srt corrections: agi24cz rls: Moonsong