Girlfriends Guide To Divorce (2014) s03e07 Episode Script
Rule #91: Run Toward What Scares You
1 Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce" The book, I mean, I have been so immersed.
What's it about, anyway? Baseball, mostly.
You know and other other stuff.
Gemma called and she invited us to her lodge.
Let's do it.
Great.
I'm quitting.
Are you sure you want to compete for jobs with people half your age? You are making a huge mistake! Buh-bye.
Hey, I'm Ethan.
Hey, is that a tattoo? You call people names all the time.
You bully people.
I guess I just miss when you had an opinion.
My opinion doesn't matter.
I think that you can do your job and be my wife at the same time.
I think that you're being really naive.
Sherry and I are getting a divorce.
- Sorry.
That's too bad.
- Yeah.
Our thing doesn't have to be done.
So you're not gonna tell me that you're still living at home with your wife? Shit.
I'm moving out.
- What? - I found a place.
[tense music.]
[Chelsea Lankes' "Builet".]
- Let's get you set up.
- What is happening here? - And now this is happening.
- Oh, really? Now you're trusting.
[laughs.]
- Go on in.
- Oh.
What is happening? I want to see it.
I know you do, but you're so impatient.
- I am.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
- Wah.
I fell for all your stupid lines Ahh.
Uh, furniture will be delivered later today.
The essentials.
Might need some help with the non-essentials.
Well, I'm all yours because I am the queen of essential non-essentials, so, yeah.
Mmm.
You always had to get your way So how'd it go, the talk yesterday? What talk? Oh the kids.
Yeah.
I know you were telling them that you were moving out, and I know how that is, it can be really tough, so - Yeah, so we - Oh.
Uh, sorry, yeah, we don't have to - Thank you.
- Get into all that right now.
So, do you want to help me christen the place? Do you have a bed? [scoffs.]
Not yet.
It's a 3:00 p.
m.
delivery, but we do have - a washer and dryer.
- Oh! [laughs.]
And that's like our thing.
- That is our thing.
- [both laugh.]
- This? - Yes.
You look hot in a flannel.
Bring it.
I don't know.
Gemma's a little jet set for flannel.
Hey, I know that a long weekend in a house full of strangers isn't exactly your thing.
It's fine.
I'll be fine.
I know why we're doing this.
It's for work.
Yeah, but you don't have to think about it like that.
Just relax and embrace the looseness.
I mean, this crowd they kind of like people who can, uh, hang, adapt.
The "When in Rome" philosophy.
Um, so, uh, Ralf agreed to take the kids? Uh, no, he has a business trip.
Shocker, but I hired back Martita.
Martita? Huh.
Well, the kids will be really happy to see her.
What does that mean? Nothing.
Means that they really like her.
Good solution.
[funk rock music.]
- You went to Marshall? - Mm-hmm.
Do you know Marjorie Dunham? Yes, I love Marjorie! She's my favorite person ever in the history of time! How do you know her? We got our journalism MFA together.
You went to Northwestern? Do you know Trevor Hersh? Barbara Sawyer? Yep, I didn't get it.
Oh, my God I'm so sorry, Babs.
I just which job was that one? Some millennial-targeting lifestyle site.
Basically SheShe for dumb people.
Wait, isn't SheShe already for dumb people? - [laughs.]
- [sighs.]
I should never have quit my job.
Oh, no, you did the right thing.
You were being disrespected there.
Don't worry, I promise, something is gonna land.
That outfit [laughs.]
Phoebe's idea.
Dress as your favorite romance genre.
Can't wait to hear you read your porny porn that we've been waiting on pins and needles for.
It's not porn.
I mean, it's romance, but I'm so nervous reading it out loud.
It's like reading a list of your dirtiest secrets.
Chill.
It's gonna be awesome.
[sighs.]
God.
You know what is gonna be awesome? Modahaus, our double date.
Tomorrow night, 7:00 p.
m.
- [doorbell rings.]
- [knocking.]
Okay, wait.
[calling.]
Hello? [knocking continues.]
- Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.
- [imitating space gun firing.]
Oh, my God! [laughter.]
What is happening? Why did nobody give me the memo - for the sexy genre outfit? - Look at you, amazing.
We wanted to surprise you.
Oh, my God.
Okay, when is the reading? - [gasps.]
Babs.
- Oh, a-after a wine.
I want you guys hammered so you can't see my hands trembling - when I'm reading.
- I can't, I can't.
I have an early flight.
I do not want to be hungover.
- God, that looks so good.
- Right.
Gemma Sacco's mountain retreat.
I saw that in the style section.
How's Stutter McGee prepping for three full days - on non-stop socializing? - Be nice.
Be nice.
He's gonna be fine.
- JD's gonna be just fine.
- Mm-hm.
[knocking.]
I'm sorry.
Wait, hold! - Who do you think it is? - I have no idea, I have no idea.
Oh, my gosh.
Let me guess.
- [gasps.]
- Oh! - What! - Oh, bow down! - No! - What! - Oh, my! - My word! Fifty shades of what! - Thank you, thank you.
- Whoo! - I do it for the people.
- Bow down.
- Bow down.
- Thank you.
How is it possible? How is it possible? You, go, put this on.
- Do it, go! - You're gonna die.
- Oh.
- Bam.
- Thank you, mistress.
- Yeah! Thank you, mistress.
I'll stop the world and melt with you So how is Frumpkis doing down there? He hasn't broken out yet, por favor dios.
- [knocking on wood.]
- So far so good.
Well, New Mexico seems like a good place to rehabilitate.
Driest state in America.
Perfect place to dry out.
It's not Frump I'm worried about.
He's in good hands.
I'm just freaking out about my kid.
You should have seen the parade of horrors that she wrote to Lilly on Instagram.
It's that bad? Oh, remember Shelley Duvall, when she finally reads Nicholson's book in "The Shining"? Oh, my gosh.
Yoo-hoo.
It's her terribly genetic legacy finally bearing fruit.
Oh, come on, that's not true.
No, I'm an asshole! I made another asshole.
Cut yourself a break, Jo.
You and Zooey had a really difficult year.
I mean, Frumpkis? All that Scott stuff? So much drama.
What is the common thread? It's me.
It's me, that's it.
No more excuses.
I gotta stop spinning around like the Tasmanian Devil.
I've got to fix myself and calm down for my kid.
Can I make a suggestion? Please.
Have you ever heard of "The Tao of Rex"? - No.
- Yeah.
It's this new exercise thing.
It mixes boxing and meditation.
Gets all your aggression out while you connect with your spiritual interior.
- I know how that sounds.
- [laughter.]
I don't think you do know how it sounds.
- No, I do.
- Beyond bullshit.
You also burn a shit-ton of calories.
- Okay, less bullshit.
- And get super cut.
Less bullshit.
How much does it cost? Whatever you do, do not sign a thing.
I have a client at Legal Aid.
She's suing her gym.
They won't let her out of her contract.
- [scoffs.]
- I know.
I'm fighting the fights that really matter, people.
How many hours do you have left, Delia? A million.
And I got to work late hours at the firm to catch up on my caseload.
I'm going there tonight.
- In that? - No.
I am not.
I don't want to provoke he who shall not be named.
Ooh, suddenly-single Albert hasn't made a move? No, but I can feel him sniffin' around.
- The dog.
- Mm-hmm.
I've gotta finally meet this stud muffin.
Me too.
Heard so much about him, I feel like I know the shit bag.
Hey, ladies! - [gasps.]
- What? Take me out to the ballgame.
Ooh! - Oh, my.
- Oh, yes.
- I got it, strike! - Nice.
"'There's a line right here, in this room,' he said.
"His admission threw her heart into fast-forward.
"He was acknowledging their attraction, "but also pleading, do not cross that line.
"'I understand,' she croaked.
"And there it was, "the rush of sensation.
[words echoing.]
"His breath made the air move.
"Throbbing, and his body glistened, "as she walked slowly into the room.
"Slow, deep, desperate.
"'Damn it!' she heard him say.
"And with that, the moment was gone.
" [whooshing.]
That's the end of the first chapter.
I'm sorry, was this just totally misguided? - both: No! - Are you kidding me? What are you talking go on, go on, go on, please.
- Really? - all: Yeah! Come on, you would tell me if I'm crazy.
No, you're not crazy.
The floor where I'm sitting is wet, come see.
Oh, my God, no, I'll take your word for it.
I just had no idea if I was delusional.
Abby, look at me.
It's good.
You goddamn bitch.
You are gonna be the next E.
L.
James! [all cheering.]
[upbeat music.]
Yeah! [indistinct chatter.]
Hey.
Abby McCarthy, you slutty little slut face full of dicks, I came twice last night reading your book.
Oh.
[laughs.]
Um, what does that mean you liked it? Loved! [laughs.]
Really? Well, that's great.
So are we here to talk timeline? Or, I mean, I'm assuming that you want to - Publish it? - Yeah.
Duh.
I'm thinking, maybe 2018? Spring? Or '19? Oh, okay, well, I mean, that just seems like a ways away.
Well, I gotta toss it up the power chain, get feedback from the boss people, you know.
- Mm-hmm, right, yes.
- Like a process play out.
- And I have a few thoughts.
- Okay.
First things first, baseball.
Oh, I know, right? I got so inspired.
Didn't love.
Oh, you didn't love baseball? But I had a lightbulb moment.
[pop music over speakers.]
"Outlander.
" Historical porn.
Hot! Um, okay, well, Melissa, um, baseball is sort of the heart of what excited me - about this book, you know? - Mmhmm, mm-hmm.
It's it's what I connected to.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's what I've been through It is my personal experience.
Abby, I think you really have something special here.
- Yes.
- The characters are great.
I mean, the sex is bananas.
Let's just talk about changing the backdrop.
It's surgical.
Okay, surgical.
So, can you give this new direction a shot? Huh? Uh [Kelly Clementine's "It's Been Real".]
It's been real It's been real But you waited too long and now they got it Holy moly.
Gemma, she knows how to buy a house.
Holy shit! You made it! - Yeah.
- You're here.
I know, hi.
Everyone! Phoebe and JD come, come, come.
- Phoebe, uh, this is Mikalah.
- Hi.
- And this is Matteo.
- Hi, how you doing? - Tori, Tal, Terry - Hello.
Sal, Zinc short for Zinqueline, yeah.
Hi.
Oh, that's sweet.
Everyone, this is my beloved P and J.
- Hey.
- How you doing? Uh, I suck at names.
Sorry sorry in advance.
I'll be asking a lot.
Your work, JD, Gemma's been showing us.
Truly, uh, divine.
Thanks.
Uh Gemma's been very supportive.
And Phoebe tells me that her collection's incredible.
She's got a Chuck Close in the other room.
Chuck Close? Uh, it's a minor Close, but still mesmerizing.
Are you a Close fan? He was a big inspiration.
Well, come on.
[upbeat music playing softly.]
Yeah, everyone, go, relax, have fun.
- Oh, JD's in heaven.
- Yeah.
I knew he would be.
That's just, you know, the magic of this place.
Actually, that's one of my favorites right there.
Wow.
My former cultural attaché picked it out.
Cultural attaché? Is that a real job for real people? That is Well, actually, I need help having such refined, amazing tastes.
There's an opening.
It's yours.
What? Gemma, I I mean, you travel with me, you pick out art.
Help me find other projects to invest in.
I know you're Damien Fields' girl, but I am a freelance consultant at best.
So, yes? Uh, I'd be honored.
Sounds like an unbelievable opportunity.
It is.
You're a lucky bitch.
Now come with me, I got other people I need you to meet.
[funk rock music.]
- Don't tell them oh, my God.
- All right, so I walk over.
Abby's crouched down in the parking lot with her pants down to her ankles.
- [laughter.]
- That is a lie.
I was totally belting up.
You looked mortified, but weirdly proud, like - I was not proud.
- "Yeah, I just did that.
" It was shame.
- Also relief.
- [laughter.]
Okay, how have I never heard this story before? I don't know, I think I just repressed it.
Do the pride/horror face.
Pride/horror face, I was like [laughter.]
Abby, you should be proud, because you tapped into a very important life lesson there.
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
- [laughter.]
- Thank you very much.
So what about you? Have you ever, you know, peed in public? Darrell's not like that, Abby.
He's very classy.
He's taking me to the Hollywood Bowl next week.
Oh, we Dudamel is conducting the LA Phil.
Duda man, you're making me look bad.
So, Barbara, Abby told me you're going on job interviews.
How's that rolling? [sighs.]
Down a hill.
Another rejection today.
But I've got two more lined up for tomorrow.
Hopes are not high.
Woman, you need to quit that.
You've got a boatload of interviews coming up and that's huge.
When it's the right thing, it's gonna happen.
Thank you for saying that.
That is what I keep saying.
I'm telling you, you're gonna be one year into your next awesome job and I'm still gonna be rewriting my book.
Abby wrote this seriously sexy novel.
It's this baseball-romance hybrid thing.
And this crazy lady told her to take out all the damn baseball.
Baseball? A romance novel? - Is it about - Uh, no.
No, no.
It's, um, you know, uh, it's not I mean us, our thing, it's, uh, that sort of inspired it, but it's not about you and me, per se.
It's it's fiction.
[pop music over speakers.]
[nervous laughter.]
[chuckles.]
Well guess the, uh, next round is on me.
No, man, you got the last one.
Darrell, please.
Sit down, Darrell.
And that's the key.
Let go of the outcome.
Hi.
I'm, uh, here to check out your class.
Looking to sign up.
Maybe.
Okay.
Why are you interested in this work? I'm an asshole.
And, uh, I'd like to be less of an asshole.
Okay then.
Very admirable.
Thank you.
The Tao of Rex is all about using the body to help get out all that aggression.
Okay.
Combined with meditation, the goal is to create a space inside and let yourself just be.
Okay, blah, blah, blah, spiritual, spiritual.
Um, how does it work? What's the game? Well we ask that - everyone go by a nickname.
- Uh-huh.
Keep work and family talk to a minimum.
That way, no outside stress enters this room.
And the price tag? - 150 per session.
- Jesus H But your first session is free, as a trial.
You try us, we try you.
- [blow lands.]
- [man groans.]
[indistinct cheering.]
I get to hit people, right? [bell dings.]
[upbeat music.]
[laughter.]
I thought the majors were full of puritans.
I'm telling you, man, it gets crazy - what goes down with those - [text message chimes.]
I know, I can't even imagine, like, all those women that are just sort of like "Oh, my God, you're" [laughs.]
Um, what is happening? Hm? Uh, it's just my ex.
I gotta go.
Sorry.
Kid stuff.
Oh, really? Did somebody get hurt? No, no one's hurt, it's just stuff.
- Oh, oh.
- Family drama.
Of course, yes Go! - Thank you.
- Yeah.
- I'll make it up to you.
- Okay.
Barbara, Darrell, sorry about this.
- Hey, good to meet you, man.
- You too.
[deep breath.]
Well it's obvious that our waitress has abandoned us.
[laughs.]
So I'm gonna take another trip to the bar.
Would you ladies like anything? Yes, can I get another beer please? Oh, yeah, I would like another rosé, Darrell, thank you very much.
I'll be right back.
Uh, wow, he is awesome.
- Oh, he's a good one, right? - Yeah.
And you know I love me some Mike Brady.
Like, I already see you guys in your TV boxes.
"Here's a story" [laughs.]
Yeah.
Although, that was a bit Uh, yeah, it was abrupt, I know.
But he's got a lot of stuff going on at home.
I mean at his mm previous home.
I'm sure.
Where is he in his divorce? He is getting one.
Yeah, but are they done negotiating? Have they signed the papers? Have they gotten the papers? Where are they in the process? - Uh - And what about custody? I know the stuff with kids is a little messy I don't actually know all that stuff, okay? And you're not asking.
Why? Because every time I press him, he shuts down or changes the subject or, you know, we have sex.
[chuckles.]
He's very good at that.
Didn't you guys just get over that whole "him not telling you he was still living at home" drama? Yes.
And he got his own place.
And he has been trying very hard.
And he told the kids that he's moving out.
You know, they'll just it'll work itself out.
Work itself out? Abby, you're dating the man now, for reals.
You have a right to know what's going on in his life.
And he will open up to me about it.
Soon.
I'm just I'm playing a long game here.
[tense music.]
[rousing string music.]
[dramatic whoosh.]
But, Sir Drake, what would our Lord think? Quiet, wench.
I do not care.
[aroused gasp.]
[laughs.]
[clacks key.]
[heavy sigh.]
[keys clacking.]
[soft music.]
[phone lands.]
Can I just say that I love the magazine? I start flipping through my "Wings Up" as soon as I get on a plane.
[laughs.]
Well, that's what we like to hear.
Well, look, you have a ton of editorial experience.
SheShe for eight years.
Eight great years at SheShe.
I learned so, so much.
So tell me where do you see yourself in five years? That is a great question.
Well, um, let me see.
Um, I'd love to be further up the editorial ladder.
Uh, perhaps overseeing my own department.
Maybe You okay? Yeah, I'm You want to know the truth? I have no freaking idea where I'll be in five years.
I hope I'm in a job that I like, something that fulfills me instead of being in someone else's office, answer some no offense bullshit question about where I think I'll be in five years.
Because if that is my situation, then someone better put me out of my friggin' misery.
Here's what I do know, Stuart, I am smart, hardworking.
I have crawled through the shit in my life and career and come out on the other side because I am tough as nails, unlike those infants waiting to talk to you out there.
So hire me, don't hire me, it's your move, Stu.
But I do appreciate being considered.
[smooth upbeat music.]
[indistinct chatter.]
[upbeat music over speakers.]
So, how's the rewrite coming along? The duke get busy with the duchess yet? What? Oh.
No, they still hate each other.
And I hate them.
I just am not feeling it.
And my daughter flirting with her boyfriend over there probably isn't helping.
Boyfriend? Wow.
It is official.
Jo.
Jo.
I'm good.
I am so good.
I'm feeling really Zen.
I'm just a no-drama mama right now.
- It's The Tao of Rex.
- Yeah? You draw blood in the ring, you have peace at home.
It's really, really helping.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
[pop music.]
You say We should give it time One more round for my new job.
Sorry, chickadees, I gotta bolt.
- Really? Aww.
- Yes.
My sensei mwuah he wants me on nine hours of sleep while I work on my solar plexus chakra.
[laughs.]
See, more sleep means less cranky.
Barbara, congrats on the new job.
[kisses.]
Um, okay, good night, warrior.
Thanks, sweetheart.
Bye.
Aww, it's a nice night.
Yeah.
By the way, thank you.
Thank me? You're the one that paid for all these drinks.
For helping me get the job.
Oh, come on, you got yourself that job fair and square.
True, but a couple of years ago, I would have rolled over and taken that shit from Mitchell.
Yes.
Stayed at SheShe till I dropped dead.
Yes.
But then, you came along and your sense of entitlement rubbed off on me I guess? And now here I am, working at an in-flight magazine.
- [laughs.]
- Hey, hey, hey, it's a very good job.
And way to way to bury that insult in the middle of that compliment.
Thank you very much.
- That's just how I roll.
- Yeah.
Speaking of SheShe, did you hear? They lost the Mucker lawsuit! - 85 million - [gasps.]
- In punitive damages.
- 85 Million.
Holy shit.
Are you serious? SheShe is going down.
Yeah.
We dodged a bullet.
Oh, yea you know what? It's not very nice to high-five other people's misfortunes, so.
Yeah, but okay, you know what? You're right.
But it feels kind of nice.
Isn't it good? - Yeah, okay.
- [both laugh.]
I just wish my own shit were, you know, in a better place.
Your book is hot.
Tell that little Melissa to sit down somewhere.
She's my editor, you know.
I even if I did, I push and then we have to compromise, find, you know, some place in the middle.
And then the whole book becomes this diffuse thing.
It's like garble of everyone's ideas, a muddle.
Then don't publish it as a book.
Anthologize it.
People will eat it up, and they'd have to wait for the next chapter to achieve full orgasm.
[snickers.]
Yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know.
You don't sound super enthused.
- Mm.
- Isn't that what you want? For people to read your sexy sex book? I don't I don't you know, I thought I did.
I was just I was feeling so empowered and now I feel de-powered, un-powered, dis-empowered.
You know, I I'm I'm lost.
You'll find it, peanut.
I got faith.
[laughs.]
We are so excited to have you, Barbara.
You're a real get for us.
Well, it's great to be gotten.
[laughs.]
Uh, we need your fresh POV.
You know, corporate's pushing us to take Wings Up to the next level.
- To broaden our appeal.
- By broaden you mean get distro at more airlines? Nah! We wanna break out of the whole airplane box.
But you're an in-flight magazine.
If we can get people in-flight and people not in-flight, - that's - Oh, everyone.
Everyone! Exciting, right? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Ah, here we are.
Uh, your new home.
[indistinct chatter.]
Home sweet home.
[pop music.]
[knocking.]
Ms.
Banai, you work too hard.
- You never leave this cave.
- Oh, yes.
My little cave of dreams.
Except between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon.
[laughs.]
And how goes the community service? Fine.
I, uh got this today.
- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.
[sighs.]
A thank you note.
From Margarita Lopez.
[laughs.]
Well, sorry to say this might be your last handwritten note.
A friend of mine knows the judge down in Palm Springs.
Called in a favor.
So no more legal aid for you.
Albert, why I didn't ask you to What, I can't do something nice just because? We can't have one of our top dogs distracted, okay? That's all.
[clears throat.]
I have a bottle of 18-year-old Scotch sitting on my desk.
It's a gift from a client.
Now, it's not a handwritten thank you note, but [laughs softly.]
[light music.]
Wanna come have a drink? Catch up? Oh, no, you shouldn't have.
[laughs.]
No, take it.
- [laughs.]
- It's just a little something, something.
A housewarming.
Abby.
[laughs.]
- No big whoop.
- All right, all right.
Ooh.
Um, I also got you a small one 'cause I didn't know if you were a big bread guy - or a little bread guy - Little bread? Come on, now.
- Forget this ever happened.
- Yeah.
- [laughs.]
- Thank you.
And I am so sorry I fell off the face of the Earth like that.
Not fair to you at all.
Yeah, I I get it.
So how's everything with the kids? Taking it hard.
Harder than we thought.
- Me moving out.
- Yeah.
- Well, it is hard.
- Yeah.
I ended up having to sleep at home the last couple nights, but it's my first night back here since I bailed on our almost dinner.
And I am happy to be spending it with you.
[knocking at door.]
Oh, that is our food.
I got us Vietnamese.
Hope you're a pho fan.
I am a big pho fan.
For sho! So I started drawing.
Just grabbed some paper and a pen and went, and that was the first time.
Well, I love everything about that story love.
It's like learning how a superhero got his powers.
Molly? Yeah.
Thank you.
Um, hey, babe? Maybe not a good idea.
I mean, Molly can be a wild ride, and you've never done anything.
[sighs.]
Well I've always wanted to try a drug.
[indistinct chatter.]
- Okay.
- Whoo! Let's get this party started, huh, party people? - [laughter.]
- Ow! - Cheers.
- [glasses clinking.]
[upbeat electronic music.]
You, I can't wait to get your pants off later.
[both laughing.]
Yo, P! Girly girl.
- Yeah.
- [laughs.]
It's my my mountain retreat bacchanals.
It would tend to have a "let's see where the night takes us" kinda flow.
Comprende? Right, comprendo.
Totally, I get it.
both: Whoo! Yep.
Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Babe.
Babe! Hey, so it turns out this party is moving in a little bit of a group sex direction.
both: Yeah.
- I picked up on that.
- Yeah.
- Orgy! - Yeah.
That's a funny word.
Orgy! Orgy! Orgy! Can you stop saying that word so loud? Why don't we go back to the room and just call it a night? When in Rome Right? Yeah.
God, I still feel so bad about how I fleeced that guy.
- No, you don't.
- You're right, I don't.
He emotionally abused that woman.
He deserved that.
Or at least that's what I tell myself, right? Whatever it takes to win.
- Isn't that the truth? - Mm-hmm.
I miss this.
You and me, swapping war stories.
[sighs.]
Things kinda went off the rails, huh? Mm, that's the understatement of the century.
Fine.
We blew up the rails.
- [laughs.]
- With dynamite.
Or I did.
Ugh.
Can't believe I sent those photos to Gordon.
I mean, I'm an animal, but that was that was nuts.
We're both nuts.
We are both nuts.
I haven't felt myself.
Maybe I'm more myself.
Some cold, soulless butterfly emerging from a what does a butterfly emerge from? - A chrysalis.
- Sure, yeah, one of those.
- Hey.
- Hm? That's not who you are.
Cold and soulless.
That's not you.
Thanks.
I should go.
I have a thing later.
Uh, well, thanks for the drink.
Peace.
Peace.
Sorry about no table.
I'm working on it.
- Yeah.
- [laughs.]
- You okay? You seem quiet.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm good.
Except, um no, I'm good.
What? Except what? Tell me.
Okay, um Let me just preface this by saying I understand your situation, you know, with your ex and your kids.
And I know that it's really hard.
- Abby.
- Really hard.
I know you do.
You've been great.
You spent two nights at home, and that's concerning.
- Concerning? - Yeah, and never mind the fact that you actually called it home.
Which is unsettling.
Um What should I have called it? - Colette's house? - I don't really, uh know what you should call it.
And please don't be glib.
This is I'm really serious about this.
I can tell and - I'm not being glib.
- I don't even know where you're at in your divorce.
- Have you guys even filed? - We're in it.
W-we're taking a break, a short one, just till things calm down.
[laughs.]
Calm down.
Well, that that can be a little bit of a wait.
Can you back off a minute? - I just moved out.
- No, you didn't.
You rented a box with a bathroom where you can have pho with your girlfriend.
That's not fair.
No, it is not fair to either one of us.
Look, Mike, here in the weeds, you know, it's crazy time.
When when Jake left, somebody said to me I should just write off the next year because people going through a divorce are certifiable.
- For some people not me.
- Oh, really? Because you you disappear, you hide things from me.
Colette texts you, like, 20 times a day.
These things take time.
You know that.
Yes, and when I was where you're at, I destroyed a man.
You know, Jake and I got back together and then we Colette and I are over.
We're over.
Is that all this is about? All? Jesus, Mike.
Don't minimize this.
You don't even talk to me.
You don't tell me how you feel.
I'm sad.
I'm so God damn sad.
I know.
And I wanna help you and I wanna fix it.
And I can't.
You know, I just got out of crazy time.
And you're about to go through it and you you can't not - go through crazy time - Abby, don't do this.
Don't spook.
What you and I have is good.
It's great.
It's rare.
And that's why we should stop.
Now.
[Onyay Pheori's "Banshee".]
I know your dirty little secrets After what's happened it's way nice You better play nice Some would call this paradise But you always pay a price And banshee You'd take up grounding If you could You're no good And banshee You are accounting For the world Don't worry.
We're gentle.
[giggles.]
You like some sugar with your spice So let's do this right I can't.
Right You may not be willing [breathing heavily.]
Phoebe, Phoebe, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, look.
We don't have to.
- Not if you're not comfortable.
- Bullshit.
You knew I wasn't comfortable.
You think I am? That back there, that was I don't even know what that was.
You were the one who wanted to come here.
Adapt, fit in, when in Rome.
Those were your words.
So that's what that was back there? That was just you proving a point? Getting back at me? I am trying to make you happy.
I am happy.
JD, you always make me happy.
Ever since Ralph cut off the alimony, it's like you're you're pulling away from me.
Like you you blame me.
That is not true.
I love you, JD.
- You know that, right? - Yes.
- And I love you, too.
- Then that's it.
That's everything.
Then we love each other.
And yeah, it's been a little bit of a bumpy transition, but Yeah, and at the first bump you go and find yourself a Gemma Sacco who makes you feel safe again.
Gemma is my friend.
She is our friend.
And she's been nothing but amazing to me.
And I wasn't gonna say anything till it was official, but she offered me a job.
To be her cultural attaché.
That it doesn't even sound like a real thing.
It is a real thing.
And Gemma and these people, they they are good for our careers.
Oh, my God.
Stop making this about work.
This is not about work.
This is about you you you are not trying to process anything.
You you already hired back Martita.
- Where are you going? - Back home, back to L.
A.
Back to reality.
Jesus, when L.
A.
is reality, you know that you're pretty far gone.
I hear you, but we cannot just leave.
Yes, we can.
And I have to.
And I really hope that you decide to come with me.
[sighs.]
[solemn music.]
Well.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I never should have let it go this far.
- Us.
- Then why did you? Because you're hard to resist, Mike Brady.
Maybe this doesn't have to be good-bye for good.
Maybe Waiting for the timing to be right? There's no guarantees.
We could miss it.
I know.
[chuckles.]
Good night two-eight's mom.
Good night.
[somber music.]
Mom? [inhales.]
You look weird.
Oh, well, it's been a weird night.
Something happen? Yes.
You can say that.
I don't wanna wait anymore.
I don't wanna miss it.
I have to do something.
Now.
Where are you going? Uh I have to talk to Charlie's already sleeping.
Don't go anywhere.
I'll be back in a few hours.
I love you.
[indistinct chatter.]
[rousing music.]
Ah.
[grunting.]
[crowd cheering.]
[grunting.]
[grunts.]
[cheers and applause.]
[laughs.]
Wow! Yeah! Okay, everyone.
Water break.
In the meditation room.
Five minutes.
All right.
- Hey! - Ah.
[laughs.]
Bald Eagle, right? Great match.
I'm sorry I had to beat the living crap out of you.
Ah, ah Don't apologize.
Yeah.
- What's your name again? - Puerto Rican Puma.
- Puerto Rican Puma? [laughs.]
- Uh-huh.
- Cheers.
- Oh, thanks, man.
[clears throat.]
[kBrandow's "Melt With You".]
Hi, this is Delia Banai.
I was just calling to schedule my hours this week.
Yes, I know that my requirement has been lifted, but I thought I'd come in anyway.
Help out.
- Moving forward using all my breath - Okay, let me check.
Mm-hmm [doorbell dings.]
Making love to you was never second best - Hey, come in.
- Hey.
I saw the world was dashing All around your face I don't know how much time we have.
I don't know when my mom's coming back.
[laughs.]
It was always mesh and lace I'll stop the world and melt with you You've seen the difference And it's getting better all the time There's nothing you and I won't do I'll stop the world and melt with you I'll stop the world and melt with you [doorbell dings.]
Abby.
What are you doing here? Two words: Lady Parts.
- Okay, are you cracking up? - No.
Since our talk, since last night, I have been I've been trying to figure out what I want.
I am so tired of answering to other people.
To the Mitchells and to the Kats and to the Melissas.
SheShe is going down.
And that just opens up a lane for us.
For me and you to start our own website.
And it won't be anything like SheShe is, because the people that run that have no imagination, and we do.
And I want us to start a site for real women.
Women our age.
All the good, all the bad.
All the parts.
Lady Parts.
I really wanna take advantage of this right now.
So, I can't do this by myself.
I need you.
[poignant music.]
What do you say?
What's it about, anyway? Baseball, mostly.
You know and other other stuff.
Gemma called and she invited us to her lodge.
Let's do it.
Great.
I'm quitting.
Are you sure you want to compete for jobs with people half your age? You are making a huge mistake! Buh-bye.
Hey, I'm Ethan.
Hey, is that a tattoo? You call people names all the time.
You bully people.
I guess I just miss when you had an opinion.
My opinion doesn't matter.
I think that you can do your job and be my wife at the same time.
I think that you're being really naive.
Sherry and I are getting a divorce.
- Sorry.
That's too bad.
- Yeah.
Our thing doesn't have to be done.
So you're not gonna tell me that you're still living at home with your wife? Shit.
I'm moving out.
- What? - I found a place.
[tense music.]
[Chelsea Lankes' "Builet".]
- Let's get you set up.
- What is happening here? - And now this is happening.
- Oh, really? Now you're trusting.
[laughs.]
- Go on in.
- Oh.
What is happening? I want to see it.
I know you do, but you're so impatient.
- I am.
- Are you ready? - Yeah.
- Wah.
I fell for all your stupid lines Ahh.
Uh, furniture will be delivered later today.
The essentials.
Might need some help with the non-essentials.
Well, I'm all yours because I am the queen of essential non-essentials, so, yeah.
Mmm.
You always had to get your way So how'd it go, the talk yesterday? What talk? Oh the kids.
Yeah.
I know you were telling them that you were moving out, and I know how that is, it can be really tough, so - Yeah, so we - Oh.
Uh, sorry, yeah, we don't have to - Thank you.
- Get into all that right now.
So, do you want to help me christen the place? Do you have a bed? [scoffs.]
Not yet.
It's a 3:00 p.
m.
delivery, but we do have - a washer and dryer.
- Oh! [laughs.]
And that's like our thing.
- That is our thing.
- [both laugh.]
- This? - Yes.
You look hot in a flannel.
Bring it.
I don't know.
Gemma's a little jet set for flannel.
Hey, I know that a long weekend in a house full of strangers isn't exactly your thing.
It's fine.
I'll be fine.
I know why we're doing this.
It's for work.
Yeah, but you don't have to think about it like that.
Just relax and embrace the looseness.
I mean, this crowd they kind of like people who can, uh, hang, adapt.
The "When in Rome" philosophy.
Um, so, uh, Ralf agreed to take the kids? Uh, no, he has a business trip.
Shocker, but I hired back Martita.
Martita? Huh.
Well, the kids will be really happy to see her.
What does that mean? Nothing.
Means that they really like her.
Good solution.
[funk rock music.]
- You went to Marshall? - Mm-hmm.
Do you know Marjorie Dunham? Yes, I love Marjorie! She's my favorite person ever in the history of time! How do you know her? We got our journalism MFA together.
You went to Northwestern? Do you know Trevor Hersh? Barbara Sawyer? Yep, I didn't get it.
Oh, my God I'm so sorry, Babs.
I just which job was that one? Some millennial-targeting lifestyle site.
Basically SheShe for dumb people.
Wait, isn't SheShe already for dumb people? - [laughs.]
- [sighs.]
I should never have quit my job.
Oh, no, you did the right thing.
You were being disrespected there.
Don't worry, I promise, something is gonna land.
That outfit [laughs.]
Phoebe's idea.
Dress as your favorite romance genre.
Can't wait to hear you read your porny porn that we've been waiting on pins and needles for.
It's not porn.
I mean, it's romance, but I'm so nervous reading it out loud.
It's like reading a list of your dirtiest secrets.
Chill.
It's gonna be awesome.
[sighs.]
God.
You know what is gonna be awesome? Modahaus, our double date.
Tomorrow night, 7:00 p.
m.
- [doorbell rings.]
- [knocking.]
Okay, wait.
[calling.]
Hello? [knocking continues.]
- Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.
- [imitating space gun firing.]
Oh, my God! [laughter.]
What is happening? Why did nobody give me the memo - for the sexy genre outfit? - Look at you, amazing.
We wanted to surprise you.
Oh, my God.
Okay, when is the reading? - [gasps.]
Babs.
- Oh, a-after a wine.
I want you guys hammered so you can't see my hands trembling - when I'm reading.
- I can't, I can't.
I have an early flight.
I do not want to be hungover.
- God, that looks so good.
- Right.
Gemma Sacco's mountain retreat.
I saw that in the style section.
How's Stutter McGee prepping for three full days - on non-stop socializing? - Be nice.
Be nice.
He's gonna be fine.
- JD's gonna be just fine.
- Mm-hm.
[knocking.]
I'm sorry.
Wait, hold! - Who do you think it is? - I have no idea, I have no idea.
Oh, my gosh.
Let me guess.
- [gasps.]
- Oh! - What! - Oh, bow down! - No! - What! - Oh, my! - My word! Fifty shades of what! - Thank you, thank you.
- Whoo! - I do it for the people.
- Bow down.
- Bow down.
- Thank you.
How is it possible? How is it possible? You, go, put this on.
- Do it, go! - You're gonna die.
- Oh.
- Bam.
- Thank you, mistress.
- Yeah! Thank you, mistress.
I'll stop the world and melt with you So how is Frumpkis doing down there? He hasn't broken out yet, por favor dios.
- [knocking on wood.]
- So far so good.
Well, New Mexico seems like a good place to rehabilitate.
Driest state in America.
Perfect place to dry out.
It's not Frump I'm worried about.
He's in good hands.
I'm just freaking out about my kid.
You should have seen the parade of horrors that she wrote to Lilly on Instagram.
It's that bad? Oh, remember Shelley Duvall, when she finally reads Nicholson's book in "The Shining"? Oh, my gosh.
Yoo-hoo.
It's her terribly genetic legacy finally bearing fruit.
Oh, come on, that's not true.
No, I'm an asshole! I made another asshole.
Cut yourself a break, Jo.
You and Zooey had a really difficult year.
I mean, Frumpkis? All that Scott stuff? So much drama.
What is the common thread? It's me.
It's me, that's it.
No more excuses.
I gotta stop spinning around like the Tasmanian Devil.
I've got to fix myself and calm down for my kid.
Can I make a suggestion? Please.
Have you ever heard of "The Tao of Rex"? - No.
- Yeah.
It's this new exercise thing.
It mixes boxing and meditation.
Gets all your aggression out while you connect with your spiritual interior.
- I know how that sounds.
- [laughter.]
I don't think you do know how it sounds.
- No, I do.
- Beyond bullshit.
You also burn a shit-ton of calories.
- Okay, less bullshit.
- And get super cut.
Less bullshit.
How much does it cost? Whatever you do, do not sign a thing.
I have a client at Legal Aid.
She's suing her gym.
They won't let her out of her contract.
- [scoffs.]
- I know.
I'm fighting the fights that really matter, people.
How many hours do you have left, Delia? A million.
And I got to work late hours at the firm to catch up on my caseload.
I'm going there tonight.
- In that? - No.
I am not.
I don't want to provoke he who shall not be named.
Ooh, suddenly-single Albert hasn't made a move? No, but I can feel him sniffin' around.
- The dog.
- Mm-hmm.
I've gotta finally meet this stud muffin.
Me too.
Heard so much about him, I feel like I know the shit bag.
Hey, ladies! - [gasps.]
- What? Take me out to the ballgame.
Ooh! - Oh, my.
- Oh, yes.
- I got it, strike! - Nice.
"'There's a line right here, in this room,' he said.
"His admission threw her heart into fast-forward.
"He was acknowledging their attraction, "but also pleading, do not cross that line.
"'I understand,' she croaked.
"And there it was, "the rush of sensation.
[words echoing.]
"His breath made the air move.
"Throbbing, and his body glistened, "as she walked slowly into the room.
"Slow, deep, desperate.
"'Damn it!' she heard him say.
"And with that, the moment was gone.
" [whooshing.]
That's the end of the first chapter.
I'm sorry, was this just totally misguided? - both: No! - Are you kidding me? What are you talking go on, go on, go on, please.
- Really? - all: Yeah! Come on, you would tell me if I'm crazy.
No, you're not crazy.
The floor where I'm sitting is wet, come see.
Oh, my God, no, I'll take your word for it.
I just had no idea if I was delusional.
Abby, look at me.
It's good.
You goddamn bitch.
You are gonna be the next E.
L.
James! [all cheering.]
[upbeat music.]
Yeah! [indistinct chatter.]
Hey.
Abby McCarthy, you slutty little slut face full of dicks, I came twice last night reading your book.
Oh.
[laughs.]
Um, what does that mean you liked it? Loved! [laughs.]
Really? Well, that's great.
So are we here to talk timeline? Or, I mean, I'm assuming that you want to - Publish it? - Yeah.
Duh.
I'm thinking, maybe 2018? Spring? Or '19? Oh, okay, well, I mean, that just seems like a ways away.
Well, I gotta toss it up the power chain, get feedback from the boss people, you know.
- Mm-hmm, right, yes.
- Like a process play out.
- And I have a few thoughts.
- Okay.
First things first, baseball.
Oh, I know, right? I got so inspired.
Didn't love.
Oh, you didn't love baseball? But I had a lightbulb moment.
[pop music over speakers.]
"Outlander.
" Historical porn.
Hot! Um, okay, well, Melissa, um, baseball is sort of the heart of what excited me - about this book, you know? - Mmhmm, mm-hmm.
It's it's what I connected to.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's what I've been through It is my personal experience.
Abby, I think you really have something special here.
- Yes.
- The characters are great.
I mean, the sex is bananas.
Let's just talk about changing the backdrop.
It's surgical.
Okay, surgical.
So, can you give this new direction a shot? Huh? Uh [Kelly Clementine's "It's Been Real".]
It's been real It's been real But you waited too long and now they got it Holy moly.
Gemma, she knows how to buy a house.
Holy shit! You made it! - Yeah.
- You're here.
I know, hi.
Everyone! Phoebe and JD come, come, come.
- Phoebe, uh, this is Mikalah.
- Hi.
- And this is Matteo.
- Hi, how you doing? - Tori, Tal, Terry - Hello.
Sal, Zinc short for Zinqueline, yeah.
Hi.
Oh, that's sweet.
Everyone, this is my beloved P and J.
- Hey.
- How you doing? Uh, I suck at names.
Sorry sorry in advance.
I'll be asking a lot.
Your work, JD, Gemma's been showing us.
Truly, uh, divine.
Thanks.
Uh Gemma's been very supportive.
And Phoebe tells me that her collection's incredible.
She's got a Chuck Close in the other room.
Chuck Close? Uh, it's a minor Close, but still mesmerizing.
Are you a Close fan? He was a big inspiration.
Well, come on.
[upbeat music playing softly.]
Yeah, everyone, go, relax, have fun.
- Oh, JD's in heaven.
- Yeah.
I knew he would be.
That's just, you know, the magic of this place.
Actually, that's one of my favorites right there.
Wow.
My former cultural attaché picked it out.
Cultural attaché? Is that a real job for real people? That is Well, actually, I need help having such refined, amazing tastes.
There's an opening.
It's yours.
What? Gemma, I I mean, you travel with me, you pick out art.
Help me find other projects to invest in.
I know you're Damien Fields' girl, but I am a freelance consultant at best.
So, yes? Uh, I'd be honored.
Sounds like an unbelievable opportunity.
It is.
You're a lucky bitch.
Now come with me, I got other people I need you to meet.
[funk rock music.]
- Don't tell them oh, my God.
- All right, so I walk over.
Abby's crouched down in the parking lot with her pants down to her ankles.
- [laughter.]
- That is a lie.
I was totally belting up.
You looked mortified, but weirdly proud, like - I was not proud.
- "Yeah, I just did that.
" It was shame.
- Also relief.
- [laughter.]
Okay, how have I never heard this story before? I don't know, I think I just repressed it.
Do the pride/horror face.
Pride/horror face, I was like [laughter.]
Abby, you should be proud, because you tapped into a very important life lesson there.
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
- [laughter.]
- Thank you very much.
So what about you? Have you ever, you know, peed in public? Darrell's not like that, Abby.
He's very classy.
He's taking me to the Hollywood Bowl next week.
Oh, we Dudamel is conducting the LA Phil.
Duda man, you're making me look bad.
So, Barbara, Abby told me you're going on job interviews.
How's that rolling? [sighs.]
Down a hill.
Another rejection today.
But I've got two more lined up for tomorrow.
Hopes are not high.
Woman, you need to quit that.
You've got a boatload of interviews coming up and that's huge.
When it's the right thing, it's gonna happen.
Thank you for saying that.
That is what I keep saying.
I'm telling you, you're gonna be one year into your next awesome job and I'm still gonna be rewriting my book.
Abby wrote this seriously sexy novel.
It's this baseball-romance hybrid thing.
And this crazy lady told her to take out all the damn baseball.
Baseball? A romance novel? - Is it about - Uh, no.
No, no.
It's, um, you know, uh, it's not I mean us, our thing, it's, uh, that sort of inspired it, but it's not about you and me, per se.
It's it's fiction.
[pop music over speakers.]
[nervous laughter.]
[chuckles.]
Well guess the, uh, next round is on me.
No, man, you got the last one.
Darrell, please.
Sit down, Darrell.
And that's the key.
Let go of the outcome.
Hi.
I'm, uh, here to check out your class.
Looking to sign up.
Maybe.
Okay.
Why are you interested in this work? I'm an asshole.
And, uh, I'd like to be less of an asshole.
Okay then.
Very admirable.
Thank you.
The Tao of Rex is all about using the body to help get out all that aggression.
Okay.
Combined with meditation, the goal is to create a space inside and let yourself just be.
Okay, blah, blah, blah, spiritual, spiritual.
Um, how does it work? What's the game? Well we ask that - everyone go by a nickname.
- Uh-huh.
Keep work and family talk to a minimum.
That way, no outside stress enters this room.
And the price tag? - 150 per session.
- Jesus H But your first session is free, as a trial.
You try us, we try you.
- [blow lands.]
- [man groans.]
[indistinct cheering.]
I get to hit people, right? [bell dings.]
[upbeat music.]
[laughter.]
I thought the majors were full of puritans.
I'm telling you, man, it gets crazy - what goes down with those - [text message chimes.]
I know, I can't even imagine, like, all those women that are just sort of like "Oh, my God, you're" [laughs.]
Um, what is happening? Hm? Uh, it's just my ex.
I gotta go.
Sorry.
Kid stuff.
Oh, really? Did somebody get hurt? No, no one's hurt, it's just stuff.
- Oh, oh.
- Family drama.
Of course, yes Go! - Thank you.
- Yeah.
- I'll make it up to you.
- Okay.
Barbara, Darrell, sorry about this.
- Hey, good to meet you, man.
- You too.
[deep breath.]
Well it's obvious that our waitress has abandoned us.
[laughs.]
So I'm gonna take another trip to the bar.
Would you ladies like anything? Yes, can I get another beer please? Oh, yeah, I would like another rosé, Darrell, thank you very much.
I'll be right back.
Uh, wow, he is awesome.
- Oh, he's a good one, right? - Yeah.
And you know I love me some Mike Brady.
Like, I already see you guys in your TV boxes.
"Here's a story" [laughs.]
Yeah.
Although, that was a bit Uh, yeah, it was abrupt, I know.
But he's got a lot of stuff going on at home.
I mean at his mm previous home.
I'm sure.
Where is he in his divorce? He is getting one.
Yeah, but are they done negotiating? Have they signed the papers? Have they gotten the papers? Where are they in the process? - Uh - And what about custody? I know the stuff with kids is a little messy I don't actually know all that stuff, okay? And you're not asking.
Why? Because every time I press him, he shuts down or changes the subject or, you know, we have sex.
[chuckles.]
He's very good at that.
Didn't you guys just get over that whole "him not telling you he was still living at home" drama? Yes.
And he got his own place.
And he has been trying very hard.
And he told the kids that he's moving out.
You know, they'll just it'll work itself out.
Work itself out? Abby, you're dating the man now, for reals.
You have a right to know what's going on in his life.
And he will open up to me about it.
Soon.
I'm just I'm playing a long game here.
[tense music.]
[rousing string music.]
[dramatic whoosh.]
But, Sir Drake, what would our Lord think? Quiet, wench.
I do not care.
[aroused gasp.]
[laughs.]
[clacks key.]
[heavy sigh.]
[keys clacking.]
[soft music.]
[phone lands.]
Can I just say that I love the magazine? I start flipping through my "Wings Up" as soon as I get on a plane.
[laughs.]
Well, that's what we like to hear.
Well, look, you have a ton of editorial experience.
SheShe for eight years.
Eight great years at SheShe.
I learned so, so much.
So tell me where do you see yourself in five years? That is a great question.
Well, um, let me see.
Um, I'd love to be further up the editorial ladder.
Uh, perhaps overseeing my own department.
Maybe You okay? Yeah, I'm You want to know the truth? I have no freaking idea where I'll be in five years.
I hope I'm in a job that I like, something that fulfills me instead of being in someone else's office, answer some no offense bullshit question about where I think I'll be in five years.
Because if that is my situation, then someone better put me out of my friggin' misery.
Here's what I do know, Stuart, I am smart, hardworking.
I have crawled through the shit in my life and career and come out on the other side because I am tough as nails, unlike those infants waiting to talk to you out there.
So hire me, don't hire me, it's your move, Stu.
But I do appreciate being considered.
[smooth upbeat music.]
[indistinct chatter.]
[upbeat music over speakers.]
So, how's the rewrite coming along? The duke get busy with the duchess yet? What? Oh.
No, they still hate each other.
And I hate them.
I just am not feeling it.
And my daughter flirting with her boyfriend over there probably isn't helping.
Boyfriend? Wow.
It is official.
Jo.
Jo.
I'm good.
I am so good.
I'm feeling really Zen.
I'm just a no-drama mama right now.
- It's The Tao of Rex.
- Yeah? You draw blood in the ring, you have peace at home.
It's really, really helping.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
[pop music.]
You say We should give it time One more round for my new job.
Sorry, chickadees, I gotta bolt.
- Really? Aww.
- Yes.
My sensei mwuah he wants me on nine hours of sleep while I work on my solar plexus chakra.
[laughs.]
See, more sleep means less cranky.
Barbara, congrats on the new job.
[kisses.]
Um, okay, good night, warrior.
Thanks, sweetheart.
Bye.
Aww, it's a nice night.
Yeah.
By the way, thank you.
Thank me? You're the one that paid for all these drinks.
For helping me get the job.
Oh, come on, you got yourself that job fair and square.
True, but a couple of years ago, I would have rolled over and taken that shit from Mitchell.
Yes.
Stayed at SheShe till I dropped dead.
Yes.
But then, you came along and your sense of entitlement rubbed off on me I guess? And now here I am, working at an in-flight magazine.
- [laughs.]
- Hey, hey, hey, it's a very good job.
And way to way to bury that insult in the middle of that compliment.
Thank you very much.
- That's just how I roll.
- Yeah.
Speaking of SheShe, did you hear? They lost the Mucker lawsuit! - 85 million - [gasps.]
- In punitive damages.
- 85 Million.
Holy shit.
Are you serious? SheShe is going down.
Yeah.
We dodged a bullet.
Oh, yea you know what? It's not very nice to high-five other people's misfortunes, so.
Yeah, but okay, you know what? You're right.
But it feels kind of nice.
Isn't it good? - Yeah, okay.
- [both laugh.]
I just wish my own shit were, you know, in a better place.
Your book is hot.
Tell that little Melissa to sit down somewhere.
She's my editor, you know.
I even if I did, I push and then we have to compromise, find, you know, some place in the middle.
And then the whole book becomes this diffuse thing.
It's like garble of everyone's ideas, a muddle.
Then don't publish it as a book.
Anthologize it.
People will eat it up, and they'd have to wait for the next chapter to achieve full orgasm.
[snickers.]
Yeah.
Maybe.
I don't know.
You don't sound super enthused.
- Mm.
- Isn't that what you want? For people to read your sexy sex book? I don't I don't you know, I thought I did.
I was just I was feeling so empowered and now I feel de-powered, un-powered, dis-empowered.
You know, I I'm I'm lost.
You'll find it, peanut.
I got faith.
[laughs.]
We are so excited to have you, Barbara.
You're a real get for us.
Well, it's great to be gotten.
[laughs.]
Uh, we need your fresh POV.
You know, corporate's pushing us to take Wings Up to the next level.
- To broaden our appeal.
- By broaden you mean get distro at more airlines? Nah! We wanna break out of the whole airplane box.
But you're an in-flight magazine.
If we can get people in-flight and people not in-flight, - that's - Oh, everyone.
Everyone! Exciting, right? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Ah, here we are.
Uh, your new home.
[indistinct chatter.]
Home sweet home.
[pop music.]
[knocking.]
Ms.
Banai, you work too hard.
- You never leave this cave.
- Oh, yes.
My little cave of dreams.
Except between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon.
[laughs.]
And how goes the community service? Fine.
I, uh got this today.
- Ooh.
- Mm-hmm.
[sighs.]
A thank you note.
From Margarita Lopez.
[laughs.]
Well, sorry to say this might be your last handwritten note.
A friend of mine knows the judge down in Palm Springs.
Called in a favor.
So no more legal aid for you.
Albert, why I didn't ask you to What, I can't do something nice just because? We can't have one of our top dogs distracted, okay? That's all.
[clears throat.]
I have a bottle of 18-year-old Scotch sitting on my desk.
It's a gift from a client.
Now, it's not a handwritten thank you note, but [laughs softly.]
[light music.]
Wanna come have a drink? Catch up? Oh, no, you shouldn't have.
[laughs.]
No, take it.
- [laughs.]
- It's just a little something, something.
A housewarming.
Abby.
[laughs.]
- No big whoop.
- All right, all right.
Ooh.
Um, I also got you a small one 'cause I didn't know if you were a big bread guy - or a little bread guy - Little bread? Come on, now.
- Forget this ever happened.
- Yeah.
- [laughs.]
- Thank you.
And I am so sorry I fell off the face of the Earth like that.
Not fair to you at all.
Yeah, I I get it.
So how's everything with the kids? Taking it hard.
Harder than we thought.
- Me moving out.
- Yeah.
- Well, it is hard.
- Yeah.
I ended up having to sleep at home the last couple nights, but it's my first night back here since I bailed on our almost dinner.
And I am happy to be spending it with you.
[knocking at door.]
Oh, that is our food.
I got us Vietnamese.
Hope you're a pho fan.
I am a big pho fan.
For sho! So I started drawing.
Just grabbed some paper and a pen and went, and that was the first time.
Well, I love everything about that story love.
It's like learning how a superhero got his powers.
Molly? Yeah.
Thank you.
Um, hey, babe? Maybe not a good idea.
I mean, Molly can be a wild ride, and you've never done anything.
[sighs.]
Well I've always wanted to try a drug.
[indistinct chatter.]
- Okay.
- Whoo! Let's get this party started, huh, party people? - [laughter.]
- Ow! - Cheers.
- [glasses clinking.]
[upbeat electronic music.]
You, I can't wait to get your pants off later.
[both laughing.]
Yo, P! Girly girl.
- Yeah.
- [laughs.]
It's my my mountain retreat bacchanals.
It would tend to have a "let's see where the night takes us" kinda flow.
Comprende? Right, comprendo.
Totally, I get it.
both: Whoo! Yep.
Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Babe.
Babe! Hey, so it turns out this party is moving in a little bit of a group sex direction.
both: Yeah.
- I picked up on that.
- Yeah.
- Orgy! - Yeah.
That's a funny word.
Orgy! Orgy! Orgy! Can you stop saying that word so loud? Why don't we go back to the room and just call it a night? When in Rome Right? Yeah.
God, I still feel so bad about how I fleeced that guy.
- No, you don't.
- You're right, I don't.
He emotionally abused that woman.
He deserved that.
Or at least that's what I tell myself, right? Whatever it takes to win.
- Isn't that the truth? - Mm-hmm.
I miss this.
You and me, swapping war stories.
[sighs.]
Things kinda went off the rails, huh? Mm, that's the understatement of the century.
Fine.
We blew up the rails.
- [laughs.]
- With dynamite.
Or I did.
Ugh.
Can't believe I sent those photos to Gordon.
I mean, I'm an animal, but that was that was nuts.
We're both nuts.
We are both nuts.
I haven't felt myself.
Maybe I'm more myself.
Some cold, soulless butterfly emerging from a what does a butterfly emerge from? - A chrysalis.
- Sure, yeah, one of those.
- Hey.
- Hm? That's not who you are.
Cold and soulless.
That's not you.
Thanks.
I should go.
I have a thing later.
Uh, well, thanks for the drink.
Peace.
Peace.
Sorry about no table.
I'm working on it.
- Yeah.
- [laughs.]
- You okay? You seem quiet.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm good.
Except, um no, I'm good.
What? Except what? Tell me.
Okay, um Let me just preface this by saying I understand your situation, you know, with your ex and your kids.
And I know that it's really hard.
- Abby.
- Really hard.
I know you do.
You've been great.
You spent two nights at home, and that's concerning.
- Concerning? - Yeah, and never mind the fact that you actually called it home.
Which is unsettling.
Um What should I have called it? - Colette's house? - I don't really, uh know what you should call it.
And please don't be glib.
This is I'm really serious about this.
I can tell and - I'm not being glib.
- I don't even know where you're at in your divorce.
- Have you guys even filed? - We're in it.
W-we're taking a break, a short one, just till things calm down.
[laughs.]
Calm down.
Well, that that can be a little bit of a wait.
Can you back off a minute? - I just moved out.
- No, you didn't.
You rented a box with a bathroom where you can have pho with your girlfriend.
That's not fair.
No, it is not fair to either one of us.
Look, Mike, here in the weeds, you know, it's crazy time.
When when Jake left, somebody said to me I should just write off the next year because people going through a divorce are certifiable.
- For some people not me.
- Oh, really? Because you you disappear, you hide things from me.
Colette texts you, like, 20 times a day.
These things take time.
You know that.
Yes, and when I was where you're at, I destroyed a man.
You know, Jake and I got back together and then we Colette and I are over.
We're over.
Is that all this is about? All? Jesus, Mike.
Don't minimize this.
You don't even talk to me.
You don't tell me how you feel.
I'm sad.
I'm so God damn sad.
I know.
And I wanna help you and I wanna fix it.
And I can't.
You know, I just got out of crazy time.
And you're about to go through it and you you can't not - go through crazy time - Abby, don't do this.
Don't spook.
What you and I have is good.
It's great.
It's rare.
And that's why we should stop.
Now.
[Onyay Pheori's "Banshee".]
I know your dirty little secrets After what's happened it's way nice You better play nice Some would call this paradise But you always pay a price And banshee You'd take up grounding If you could You're no good And banshee You are accounting For the world Don't worry.
We're gentle.
[giggles.]
You like some sugar with your spice So let's do this right I can't.
Right You may not be willing [breathing heavily.]
Phoebe, Phoebe, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, look.
We don't have to.
- Not if you're not comfortable.
- Bullshit.
You knew I wasn't comfortable.
You think I am? That back there, that was I don't even know what that was.
You were the one who wanted to come here.
Adapt, fit in, when in Rome.
Those were your words.
So that's what that was back there? That was just you proving a point? Getting back at me? I am trying to make you happy.
I am happy.
JD, you always make me happy.
Ever since Ralph cut off the alimony, it's like you're you're pulling away from me.
Like you you blame me.
That is not true.
I love you, JD.
- You know that, right? - Yes.
- And I love you, too.
- Then that's it.
That's everything.
Then we love each other.
And yeah, it's been a little bit of a bumpy transition, but Yeah, and at the first bump you go and find yourself a Gemma Sacco who makes you feel safe again.
Gemma is my friend.
She is our friend.
And she's been nothing but amazing to me.
And I wasn't gonna say anything till it was official, but she offered me a job.
To be her cultural attaché.
That it doesn't even sound like a real thing.
It is a real thing.
And Gemma and these people, they they are good for our careers.
Oh, my God.
Stop making this about work.
This is not about work.
This is about you you you are not trying to process anything.
You you already hired back Martita.
- Where are you going? - Back home, back to L.
A.
Back to reality.
Jesus, when L.
A.
is reality, you know that you're pretty far gone.
I hear you, but we cannot just leave.
Yes, we can.
And I have to.
And I really hope that you decide to come with me.
[sighs.]
[solemn music.]
Well.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I never should have let it go this far.
- Us.
- Then why did you? Because you're hard to resist, Mike Brady.
Maybe this doesn't have to be good-bye for good.
Maybe Waiting for the timing to be right? There's no guarantees.
We could miss it.
I know.
[chuckles.]
Good night two-eight's mom.
Good night.
[somber music.]
Mom? [inhales.]
You look weird.
Oh, well, it's been a weird night.
Something happen? Yes.
You can say that.
I don't wanna wait anymore.
I don't wanna miss it.
I have to do something.
Now.
Where are you going? Uh I have to talk to Charlie's already sleeping.
Don't go anywhere.
I'll be back in a few hours.
I love you.
[indistinct chatter.]
[rousing music.]
Ah.
[grunting.]
[crowd cheering.]
[grunting.]
[grunts.]
[cheers and applause.]
[laughs.]
Wow! Yeah! Okay, everyone.
Water break.
In the meditation room.
Five minutes.
All right.
- Hey! - Ah.
[laughs.]
Bald Eagle, right? Great match.
I'm sorry I had to beat the living crap out of you.
Ah, ah Don't apologize.
Yeah.
- What's your name again? - Puerto Rican Puma.
- Puerto Rican Puma? [laughs.]
- Uh-huh.
- Cheers.
- Oh, thanks, man.
[clears throat.]
[kBrandow's "Melt With You".]
Hi, this is Delia Banai.
I was just calling to schedule my hours this week.
Yes, I know that my requirement has been lifted, but I thought I'd come in anyway.
Help out.
- Moving forward using all my breath - Okay, let me check.
Mm-hmm [doorbell dings.]
Making love to you was never second best - Hey, come in.
- Hey.
I saw the world was dashing All around your face I don't know how much time we have.
I don't know when my mom's coming back.
[laughs.]
It was always mesh and lace I'll stop the world and melt with you You've seen the difference And it's getting better all the time There's nothing you and I won't do I'll stop the world and melt with you I'll stop the world and melt with you [doorbell dings.]
Abby.
What are you doing here? Two words: Lady Parts.
- Okay, are you cracking up? - No.
Since our talk, since last night, I have been I've been trying to figure out what I want.
I am so tired of answering to other people.
To the Mitchells and to the Kats and to the Melissas.
SheShe is going down.
And that just opens up a lane for us.
For me and you to start our own website.
And it won't be anything like SheShe is, because the people that run that have no imagination, and we do.
And I want us to start a site for real women.
Women our age.
All the good, all the bad.
All the parts.
Lady Parts.
I really wanna take advantage of this right now.
So, I can't do this by myself.
I need you.
[poignant music.]
What do you say?