Halt and Catch Fire (2014) Episode Scripts

N/A - Rules of Honorable Play

1 I want you to come to this meeting.
(announcer) Previously on AMC's "Halt and Catch Fire" You made a promise to people that you wouldn't charge them.
If this is gonna work, we're gonna have to trust each other.
Cameron was my dad's name.
I started using it after he died.
You could do a bit more delegating.
Not when it's something that I think is truly foundational.
You think that everything is foundational.
Pack up your stuff.
Starting tomorrow, we'll be working out of my place.
What'd you do that for? If you can find someone willing to pay north of $350, you should go for it.
When you see an opportunity, you take it.
(music playing) (beeps) Jesus.
(chatter) (fizzing) Doug: Your code loops all over the place.
It's not structured.
It's not maintainable by anyone.
- I disagree.
- There are reentrant forks, no way of knowing which branch invoked a function.
We don't do that in C++.
It's officially deprecated in the language.
I can maintain it.
There are condition flags for everything.
There's no one-way arrow.
Is that what you want to do? Be the code grunt for this sick piece of choss? Dougie, chill.
My guys will flowchart it.
I'll write out the flags I'm sure you will.
The flow chart would strangle us.
It's a mess.
And what do you mean your guys? It's fast and it fits.
It's no longer necessary.
Doug, we bought your company.
You should adapt to our programming language.
I know it sucks to be rewritten.
It doesn't make sense.
It's like asking a race car to adapt to a covered wagon.
- Poetic.
- Maybe we should all try to, you know, take our egos out of it.
Well, my ego would love to have a good night's sleep, but sadly it has to rewrite your code first.
(pencil clatters) Yikes.
Diane, I am so sorry.
Diane: It's all fun and games till someone gets stabbed in the cheek.
I'm just here to observe.
Okay, well I think we're all on the same page now.
Um, we're really close.
(scoffs) Maybe this'll help.
It's an integration road map.
Look, we think the way you created Mutiny was brilliant.
The original block of code was truly innovative.
Mm-hmm, but? It doesn't play nice with our SwapMeet code.
If you make some changes to that block and we make some changes to our C++ It's a bug factory.
The old code makes it impossible to keep track of the reentrant looping.
But I don't need the object-oriented language, okay? I can keep track of the looping in my head.
Oh, I get it.
You're that good.
Yeah, I am.
Aren't you? Bosworth: looking all around and then he came around the side of the trailer there.
And I swear to God, he goes, "Man, that ain't no bear.
That's your ex-wife.
" - Grr! - (laughs) - She was just doing the whole thing.
- Uh-oh.
Oh, you surprised to see her? - Yeah.
- Mm-mm.
Adios, Amiga.
- Hey there.
- Hi.
(stammers) Here, go ahead.
After you.
Thank you.
(chuckles) Good day, ladies.
Donna: Hi.
Well, this is a nice surprise.
I was in the neighborhood.
So, how's it going with the SwapMeet guys? Um, good.
You keep telling me that on the phone with that same not-so-sure thing you do with your voice.
What not-so-sure thing? (chuckles) Anyway, I just popped into their project meeting.
The vibe was pretty hostile.
Why haven't you told me? Well, it's a work in progress.
- Donna.
- (sighs) I know.
Cam isn't comfortable with the guys yet, and I'm working on it.
- How are you working on it? - Well My point is, we should be working on it.
If there are issues, we need to air them out.
Otherwise resentment festers and the whole thing starts to rot.
All right, how about this? We could all go to dinner tonight, have some wine, talk things through.
- I do like wine.
- Great.
But I can't do tonight.
I've got tickets to a charity thing, a fundraiser for Save the Bay.
- Oh, that sounds - Terrible.
I was gonna say lovely.
My date just cancelled and I have a plus one.
I could check with Gordon, see if he could watch the girls tonight.
No, um I was thinking about John Bosworth.
I mean really? Bosworth: "Man, that ain't no bear.
That's my ex-wife.
" - (all laugh) - Grr! You know, there'll be a whole slew of Valley big shots there.
It's a great opportunity for John to make some business connections.
But nobody calls him John.
I do.
("Never Get Older" playing) All right, guys.
- Guys, please, please! - Shh! Bodie: Yo, shut up, kid! All right, I know we've gotten off to a rough start, and I'm sorry about that.
That's the understatement of the century.
We're in a bit of a holding pattern ever since Cam took over for our lead coder.
- Louis: Yeah, that was genoid.
- Bodie: You don't know jack about it.
But we're gonna use this as an opportunity.
Now, I know we've had some success flow-charting the two systems.
How are we doing with our organizational training objectives? Oh, you mean the buddy system? It's a nightmare trying to train these jokers.
All they want to do is bitch about C++.
(robotic voice) C++.
He just follows me around all day doing this idiotic routine.
- C++.
- Carl, he's your trainee, okay? - I don't care.
- Master Carl, I've been programmed - to observe your every move - Okay.
so I may learn from your flawed behavior what it is to be human.
Shut up, shut up, shut up! Bodie: He's not even funny.
Bodie, stop antagonizing him, okay? - Beep-boop-beep.
- Get out of my face! - Hey! - Whoa, whoa! Let's kill these a-holes! - Calm down! - All: Oh! Oh, shit.
You okay? Everyone, sit down.
What the f? (theme music playing) You see? It is just so charming.
It has all the original molding.
And all the original mold.
And the backyard is adorable.
It's perfect for barbecues.
Oh, did you hear that? Okay, why don't I give you and your, uh, friend a minute to talk? Thanks.
She thinks we're a couple.
You're not my type.
Yeah, this place has character.
This isn't a generic box.
No, the Mutiny house had character.
This place is just quaint.
You've hated every place we've seen.
So? I'm picky.
And nothing feels right.
Is this about the house or is this something else? It's Thing One and Thing Two.
God, I can't stand them.
Especially the bigger Thing, this arrogant frat boy.
(whines) The smaller Thing's not so bad.
You know their names.
Yes, Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Heckle and Jeckle.
Frick and Frack.
I get it.
But they want to be useful.
By what? Translating everything into C++? Donna, if I knew that was the plan, I wouldn't have signed on.
But we did sign on.
The guys are under a two-year contract with a piece of the company.
We married them.
We have to sit down and talk it out before the whole thing festers and rots.
- We're having dinner tomorrow night.
- What? That's a horrible idea.
Who suggested that? I did.
Oh, great.
And so now you're just informing me.
See? It already feels like home.
MacMillan Utility was always intended to be a jumping-off point.
It's all about transformation.
Many companies start doing one thing and then change direction.
If we can just find the right vector.
Ryan: Then our freeware can stay free.
Router tech is promising.
Ah, Cisco's already way ahead on that one.
Uh, 3-D graphics.
Uh, AI.
- 5th gen systems.
- It's a billion-dollar road to nowhere.
I give it a year.
Fairchild made cameras.
Now they make semiconductors.
Coleco was the Connecticut Leather Company.
Now they make video games.
Yeah, and Mutiny started as a games company.
- Shut up.
- Sorry, I'm just so stoked to be a part of your process.
- Plus the caffeine - No, I mean be quiet.
Uh okay.
Let's circle the five best ideas.
Wait, what what are you doing, man? We spent weeks on that.
There's some good stuff there.
Good is the enemy of great.
If anything's worth pursuing, we'll remember it tomorrow.
(sighs) ("Beyond Belief" playing) History repeats the old conceits The glib replies, the same defeats Keep your finger on important issues With crocodile tears and a pocketful of tissues I'm just the oily slick On the windup world of the nervous tick In a very fashionable hovel I hang around, dying to be tortured You'll never be alone in the bone orchard This battle with the bottle is nothing so novel So in this almost empty gin palace (knock on door) Through a two-way looking glass Come in if you must.
Can we talk for a minute? I guess.
Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot.
I mean, we all want the same thing, right? Yeah.
Maybe we got into this too quickly, but, yeah, let's we're in it now, so If you think it was too quick, you have your man Bos to thank.
He strong-armed us into taking the deal.
Really? 'Cause I heard that you and Greg misrepresented It's Craig.
the value of your company to lure us into overpaying.
What's your deal? Why do you have such a hard time playing with others? Were you born this way or did some loser ex-boyfriend turn you into a man-hating bitch? (phone ringing) - Cameron: Ah! - I've got a feeling I'm gonna get a lot of grief - (music stops) - (ringing continues) What? Man's voice: Catherine? Is that you? - Yes.
- It's Len.
What's wrong? Nothing, just sorry to call you at work.
I wanted to let you know your mom What? Your mom and I are selling the house.
Bought a little condo outside of Miami.
We gotta get rid of all that crap in the garage.
Do do you want your dad's stuff? Your mom saved it for you, but, you know, Miami.
We're gonna sell everything that's left over 4th of July weekend.
I was hoping you might come and take a look, say hello to your mother.
It's not like it used to be.
She's much better now.
Oh, uh then why didn't she call? I hope you're doing well out there.
I'll let your mom know that we talked.
(line clicks, dial tone) (indistinct arguing) Craig: You need to apologize.
All you have to do is say, "I'm sorry," that's it.
How many times have I gotta try? - God.
- Wait, Doug! (door opens, closes) Hey, what was that about? Oh.
Oh, just the usual ups and downs of a magical partnership.
You're here late.
But then you're probably always here late.
Are you implying that I don't have a life? Yes.
You could say that Doug and I have different styles.
No shit.
He just walked into my office and called me a bitch.
(sighs) I am so sorry.
Look, we're really excited to be part of Mutiny.
It's just SwapMeet was our baby.
I think Doug still feels down about having to sell.
But that's no excuse.
You want to see something cool? Is it a dead body? Only if Doug's still here.
You sure this is okay? He won't mind.
Can I ask you something? Okay.
Why won't you change that original block of PL/M? It's the only piece left that I wrote by myself.
Alone in my bedroom, just me.
Back when this whole place was just me.
I did all the timings by hand, I checked the status on every buffer and every keystroke every time, all with check loops.
It was fast and it was Beautiful.
It is beautiful.
And what do you want me to say? I I'm proud of this place.
But back then, it was this secret.
It was all mine.
Then we should leave it alone.
(sighs) Just got the weirdest phone call.
My stepfather.
I guess he and my mom are moving to Florida.
They're selling all my dad's stuff.
He died when I was nine.
I'm sorry to hear that.
Just he had this motorcycle an old Panhead Harley.
Oh, he used to ride me to school on it.
I'd show up to kindergarten with this, like, gigantic helmet.
I'm sure it looked ridiculous, but it was it just felt so You should go get the bike.
Have you ever considered a solo business venture? (soft laugh) - (gunshots) - (quacking) (game chiming) Hmm.
Wasn't the Nintendo system supposed to be for Joanie? - (gunshots) - No, it was a family present.
Anyways, I had to unwind after that brawl today.
I honestly don't know what to do about those guys.
Cardiff had its challenges, but no one ever punched me in the ear.
Yeah, well, you're not at Cardiff anymore.
(gunshots) There's your answer.
Just take the guys out back and shoot 'em.
(quacking) (chimes) Bosworth: Well, he comes around the side of the trailer, and he goes, "Man, that ain't a bear.
That's your ex-wife.
" - Grr! - (laughing) See? Thank you, thank you.
(coughs) Man, it was crazy, man.
And I don't know how long she stayed there.
She was there all night, just sort of frozen in place.
Grr! The poor bastard (woman giggles, screams) (continues indistinctly) - (music playing) - (chattering) Don't move.
Joe MacMillan.
Of course.
Diane Gould.
Funny that we've never officially met.
But I'm certainly aware of you.
Amador Gould Gilson.
I admire your business model.
Small, intelligent investment portfolio.
I guess you could call that boutique.
Well, size isn't everything, right? I hear you facilitated the SwapMeet acquisition at Mutiny.
We're very excited about it.
I'm surprised Cameron Howe wanted to play ball with another company.
She must be in a good place.
Excuse me.
Can I, um - can I borrow you for a sec? - Yeah.
It's great to finally meet you.
Mm, you as well.
(whooping, giggling) - (music continues) - (chatter) How do I get one of these? Uh, make more money.
Which brings us to our little problem.
You heard of this individual, Topher Erickson? Does not ring a bell.
His father's Cal Erickson, senior vice president of General Atomics.
Well, apparently he was at one of your parties and indulged in a copious amount of cocaine.
And then grabbed someone and went off on a little joyride in the brand-new Ferrari his father procured for his 18th birthday.
What kind of jerk spends 60 grand and buys Italian? Yeah, well, this particular jerk funds about a quarter of your business.
Hmm, okay.
And it's boring old contractor clients like that that float your little software experiments.
I'm gonna mingle.
Set something up.
I'll do damage control.
- Hi there.
- Mm.
Friendly fella.
Well, we can't all have your Southern charm.
I want to thank you for calling me when my grandson was born.
That was you, right? Mm-hmm.
Oh, sure.
Joe MacMillan, man of mystery.
Yeah, it's always good to hear from an old friend.
Well, you seem to be doing just fine making new friends.
Oh, Miss Gould is just a business associate.
Oh, no, I mean everyone here.
They're lapping you up.
It's a good call, playing up the Texas thing.
People love a performance.
It looks like you're in a performance of your own, huh? More of a one-man show kind of thing.
Yeah, I'm a regular Spalding Gray.
I left someone hanging.
Be well.
Oh, good, you're still here.
I was worried you got kidnapped by that old pal Joe MacMillan.
- Can I top you off? - Yes, please.
You certainly made a splash tonight.
How so? You're the life of the party.
Everybody loves you.
Between you and me, I told Donna I was inviting you for business.
But really, I just didn't feel like flying solo, you know, under the circumstances? Glad I could be of service.
Isn't that crazy? That you can build a life with someone, raise kids, spend your 20s, your 30s, half your damn 40s together, and in the end feel nothing? How is that possible? I don't know.
Would you like a cigarette? No.
No, I'm good.
Somewhere along the line, I lost my taste for tobacco.
And champagne.
I told my lawyer I didn't want to fly up here and bail Topher out right away.
Let him cool his heels for a while, reflect upon his actions.
Plus, SF's not my cup of tea.
It must be hard to leave La Jolla.
I love Del Mar.
It's got the perfect mix of sand bottom beach breaks and patchy reefs.
It's, uh it's very easy to find a wave you can call your own.
I've always envied surfers.
We do a little naval work out at Coronado Island.
- Mm.
- Those bastards offshore look like they don't have a care in the world while I'm stuck to my seat worrying about packet switching and computer viruses, thank you very much.
- (chuckles) - Packet switching? - Is that with the DoD? - Yeah, nothing sexy.
Just moving a bunch of electronic boxes around.
- Mm.
- System's so damn clunky, they're gonna overhaul the whole thing.
Ken: Ugh, sounds like a pain in the ass.
You know what you should do? You should take a page from those carefree bastards and you should catch a wave, huh? Clear your mind.
Joe's got a great instructor down your way.
She's, uh she's amazing.
And guess what, her name it's, uh her name is Sandy.
- (both laugh) - Sandy.
- Right, Joe.
- (chuckles) That's good.
Love to meet her.
Look, I know I'm being managed here.
Glenfiddich goes down nice, but it doesn't wipe away the taste of that phone call from those cops.
Topher's still a teenager.
We don't let our boy run wild.
Cal, I was very troubled when I heard what happened to your son.
I had no idea there were minors in my home or narcotics, and in no universe would I approve of that.
All right.
You seem like a decent man.
Not some 'Frisco nutjob.
I'll submit a detailed report to the big boss, i.
, my wife, and, uh, that should clear things up.
Might not mention Sandy to her, though.
Nothing like a girl in a wet suit, am I right? You sure are.
Although, I prefer a bikini.
Some of our business associates in SF, they're a little funny, if you catch my drift.
Soft handshakes.
Hell, maybe we'll get lucky and all the faggots will catch that special flu that's going around.
As long as my son stays away from it.
But, uh, got plenty of time to whip him into shape.
Like I said, he's still a kid.
All right, gentlemen, it's that time.
All right.
Yes, sir.
Hey, watch it, man.
Do you know, I wouldn't worry about your son.
He'll find his path when he gets away from you.
But I feel sorry for your wife.
She has to lie there taking it, wondering what the hell she did to have your stinking breath in her face.
Or, wait, maybe I was wrong.
Maybe the big boss isn't the one taking it.
Hey, Jesus Christ, Joe.
We had the son of a bitch locked and you had to Had to what? We sell security software to the government.
Hey, wait.
Come on, hey! Hey.
It was great hanging out with you last night.
(keyboard clacking) - Can I just - Uh, yeah.
I'll let you get back to work.
(groans) I heard you two had a good conversation last night.
Uh, yeah.
I decided to, uh, keep the SwapMeet code as it is and translate some of Mutiny into C++ to bridge the interface.
Really? That's great.
The guys are gonna be thrilled.
And I think we should fire them.
What? Why? Do you have an actual, you know, reason we can give Diane, since she's the one who's gonna have to pay for it? Yes.
We don't need them.
Well, the dinner is tonight.
If you really want to fire the guys, then you can tell Diane yourself.
("You Make Me Wanna Dance" playing in background) Oh, no! They have three-player "Yeti Mountain Mission"? Race! No, no, no, no, no.
No video games.
We're here to coalesce as a group.
- What? - So line up by "heighth.
" - What? - "Heighth"? Height.
Line up by height.
How tall you are.
- (laughing) - Height.
So you're gonna be at the end.
You're at this end over here.
- Hey, does hair count? - Yes, hair counts.
Down here at the end.
Arki, you're in the center.
Lev, you're there.
Wonderboy, down at the end.
Come on, guys.
Bodie: Yeah, Wonderboy.
All right, you've been ordered by Allied Command to select 12 general prisoners - I'm innocent.
- convicted by courts-martial and sentenced to be executed or serve lengthy prison terms for murder, robbery, striking a general in the ear, and other crimes of violence.
And you will deliver them behind enemy lines in France to undertake a mission of sabotage that could change the course of the war.
Okay, Lee Marvin, but don't most of the guys in that movie eat it? By the end, is it more like the "Dirty Deuce"? I'll show you a Dirty Deuce, Bodie.
It's a metaphor.
Actually, it's more of an allegory.
Uh, pipe down, Smurfette.
An allegory is a metaphor.
F you, semen.
Semen? Did she just call me semen? Man on P.
: It's time for the next battle! (feedback squeals) God.
Players, follow me for instruction in the rules of honorable play.
Bodie: You need to turn down your toys.
Come on, guys.
Let's see a little bit of that Apache know-how.
(growls) (guns blasting) - Cover me, cover me! - (coders shouting) There he is, there he is! - Buckle up, big man.
- Shit! (shouting indistinctly) Guys, don't just stand around.
Fight back! I'm out, I'm done.
Screw you, asshole.
All right, guys, gather around, gather around.
All right, look, focus, okay? Guard the base.
Get each other's backs, all right? Is this thing even on? Bodie, get down.
You're in the line of fire! Wonderboy, get that out of your mouth.
Come on, man, get your head in the game.
(blasting) Hey, guys, check it out.
If you just cover this thing, you can't get hit.
There must be a way to disengage the entire system.
What a bunch of pussies.
That's sexist.
- (beeps) - All: Oh! - He's on our team! - F off, you big D.
- (beeps) - Oh, my God, stop! We're all gonna die! It's Judgment Day, sinners! - (shouting) - Coder: Dodged a shot.
("Goodnight, Saigon" playing) (all screaming) Let's do this! We said we'd all go down together Yes, we would all go down together We said we'd all go down together Yes, we would all go down (all yelling) (all cheering) Yeah! (cheering continues) Sir! Sir! You are officially disqualified.
Coders: What?! (all chanting) Green! Green! Green! (echoes) And who was right? (chatter) Craig: We feel 100% confident.
Doug: If we're properly assigned, we can get this whole thing out the door in three weeks.
Three weeks? That's much sooner than we expected, right? Oh, I just wish Let it go.
She's not coming.
(sighs) I thought you two had a good conversation.
Yeah, I thought so, too.
We have so much respect for Cam and what you guys have built together.
It sounds nice and all, but the real question is can you work with her? - Definitely.
- Of course.
We just get the feeling she can't work with us.
You know? Are we ready to go ahead and order? ("Cold Siren" playing in background) Cold, cold creature And she keeps her so-called heart She's a cold, cold, cold, cold, siren song A cold, siren song (chatter) I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
Can we have the check, please? I just think if Cam doesn't want to work with the guys, she should have the courage to deal with it face-to-face.
No, I know.
Look, I wanted her to tell you, but since she's not here Cam wants to fire Doug and Craig.
Really? That's big.
Do you agree with her? Well, I she's my partner.
Personally, I think these guys are a big asset.
But your relationship with Cameron is the most important thing.
That's what I'm investing in.
If working with Doug and Craig is untenable, Mutiny can pay their earn-out early and send 'em home.
But you just said that they're a big asset.
I wouldn't be happy about it, but it's better than forcing something toxic.
I just hope it's the guys who are the problem.
So, how's the team-building coming? Well, surprisingly productive.
Although I've been banned from future competition due to my controversial military tactics.
(chuckles) You can get out there.
They're still there.
It's stupid fun.
No, I just came by 'cause I well, 'cause I said I would.
Well, look at you, Mr.
Nice Guy.
Nice Guy? Back at Cardiff, you were the heavy SVP of Sales.
All those multimillion-dollar accounts, everybody was scared shitless of you.
You know, including myself.
But now Now what? Look, I just mean, you know, being the boss sounds good, but this is better.
There's minimal responsibility, maximum fun.
Which reminds me, what's that story you keep telling the guys? - Something about - That thing's outta gas.
(coders laughing) Bos! - You should've seen it.
- Oh, man, you're not gonna believe it.
Gordon went full-on kamikaze.
He practically murdered the guy.
It seemed totally lame at first, but it was actually pretty awesome.
Yeah, even she liked it.
(all laugh) You should play the next round, man.
- You would shred this course.
- No.
Coders: Come on.
Come on.
(chanting) Bos! Bos! Bos! No, I'm good.
I said I'm good! Go have another round.
Get on in there.
You guys enjoy it.
- Okay, yeah.
- (overlapping chatter) (all cheering) (guns blasting) (sighs) Cam.
What time is it? It's late.
You missed the dinner.
Oh, my God, Donna, I'm sorry.
Jesus, I I don't know I meant to be there.
I planned to be there.
I don't know what happened.
You're overworked, that's what happened.
You're exhausted.
Um, how was the dinner? Fine.
Doug sucked up a lot.
God, I hate that guy.
I know.
But Craig's okay.
After they left, I told Diane you want to fire them.
And? She said no.
What do you mean, she said no? They're a part of the deal.
They're an important asset and we have to find a way to make it work.
(chuckles) What? I thought she was on our side.
She feels it's what's best for the company.
(exhales) Okay, well, thank you for asking.
I really appreciate it.
- I'll see you at home.
- Yeah.
(door opens, closes) (door opens) Hello? I'm cool to work at night, but your call kind of freaked me out.
We lost General Atomics today.
They represent 37% of our annual billing.
What happened? I traded them for something more valuable.
What's this? The log-in credentials for the ARPANET, the Department of Defense packet-switching network.
I secured the information through General Atomics.
I want you to look into it before they flag that my credentials still work.
Okay, but, you know, the ARPANET isn't new tech.
It's sort of rusty.
It's not like missile codes or fighter plane blueprints.
This is this is mundane stuff.
I do know that.
It's antiquated.
And that means it's ripe for an upgrade.
So what should I do? I need you to go into it, map it, and help me figure out what's next.
- (duck quacking) - (gunshots) - Cameron: Why? - (game chimes) (Cameron and Gordon chatting indistinctly) - Play after this.
- There's two controllers, though.
Play after I finish the best out of 10.
Man, you're like some kind of "Duck Hunt" savant.
Does that mean I'm totally deficient in other areas? Like "Duck Hunt" savant, but bad team player.
Come on.
(groans) So how's it going with (German accent) Dick und Doof? Dick und Doof? That's what my grandfather called Laurel and Hardy.
Loosely translates to "chubby and dumb.
" Well, that's perfect, 'cause Doug's the Dick Und Craig ist Doof.
- Ja.
- Ja.
(both laugh) Ahh! Oh, whatever, though.
I guess I'm gonna have to make it work.
All right, hope you haven't lost your edge now that you're a peacemaker.
Uh, oh, do you want a soda? - Yeah, sure.
- Yeah? - Hey.
- Jesus! What are you doing? You know, I wanted to tell you something.
I've been thinking, and you should stay here as long as you want.
You can take your time finding a place.
("Duck Hunt" continues in background) Oh, thanks.
Yes! All right.
All you.
Can I ask you a question? When did you know you were losing Cardiff?