Hannah Montana s01e20 Episode Script

Why did Dad call a family meeting? I hate family meetings.
What did you do? What do you mean, what did I do? What did you do? I didn't do anything.
I never do anything.
All right, listen, it doesn't matter who did what, just as long as we stay united, stay strong and stand together.
She did it! She did it! I saw it with my own two eyes! You should be ashamed of yourself.
Way to stay strong, you gutless little weasel.
Don't worry, Mile.
I know you didn't do anything.
- I didn't do anything either.
- I know.
Then why are you looking at me like that? It's fun.
- You are a cruel, cruel father.
- Oh, yeah? Would a cruel, cruel father give you these? Credit cards! My very first credit card.
Today, I am a woman.
And I'm still a dad.
And these cards are just used for emergencies only.
You could've told me that before I wasted the hug.
Look, the point is, these are just in case you get into trouble and I'm not around.
- Why are you still staring at me again? - It's still fun.
Thank you so much, Daddy.
I promise, you won't regret this.
Because we're both mature enough to handle this responsibility.
- Right, Jackson? - Absolutely.
Okay, I lost my card.
- Wait, you handed it to me, right? - And I've regretted it ever since.
There it is.
Hey, and my toothbrush! I've been looking for this since Tuesday.
You haven't brushed since Tuesday? Miles, don't be stupid.
I've been using yours.
Come on! You get the limo out front Hottest styles, every shoe, every color Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun It's really you but no one ever discovers Who would have thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds Chill it out, take it slow Then you rock out the show You get the best of both worlds Mix it all together And you know that it's the best of both worlds Where do you think I should put my credit card? Should I put it in the little window where everybody can see it? Or is that too showy? Yeah, maybe I should just put it in one of the slots.
That says I have a credit card, but I ain't bragging about it.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I don't care, all right? Guys don't worry about dumb stuff like that.
Just give me a card and a pocket to put it in.
Where did I put that thing? No reason to worry, it's probably right next to your brain.
Uh-oh.
Now you'll never find it.
Where is it? Where is it? Let me see it.
Let me see it.
Right here, third slot from the top.
Nice placement.
Thank you.
- Can I hold it? - Sure.
But edges only.
- Duh! - What do you think? - It's beautiful.
I think I'm in love.
You're wearing avocado, aren't you? You know what that does to me.
- What's wrong with you, boy? - It's free food, I'm a guy, do the math.
Where is that card? I think I found it.
That's right, I used it to spread the mustard.
Hello, what are we standing around here for? There's a huge flea market at the beach today.
And what's that, Cardy? I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go.
Let me go, please, please, please.
Lilly, I promised my dad I'd use it for emergencies only.
Of course I'll go to the flea market with you, but only to look.
I'm definitely not buying anything.
- I have to have these shoes.
- Why? They're shoes, I'm a girl, do the math.
Excuse me, sir, how much for these shoes? - For you, today, 75.
- 75 cents? She'll take a pair too, and a matching belt.
Oh, pretty and funny.
$ 75, and don't pretend to be surprised, rich Malibu child.
- Wow, I don't have that.
- Wow, then you don't have shoes.
Miley, it's a flea market, they want you to bargain.
- I know, but I'm no good at it.
- Well, lucky for you, I am.
Just follow my lead.
Look, I know you said you wanted $ 75 for the shoes, but we both know that you'll take $25.
So I'll make it easy for you, she'll give you $30.
I only have $25.
You hesitated, I'm dropping to $25.
You drive a hard bargain.
Tell you what, for you, $85.
- But it was just $ 75.
- That's before you made me mad.
Yeah, well, now you've made me mad and you've lost a sale.
I don't care.
Well, we're just gonna take our money and go.
- Okey-dokey.
- That's it, we're going.
Bye-bye.
- But I want my shoes.
- Trust me, he's just about to cave.
- Young lady, wait.
- Ha! Told you.
You have a doggy no-no on your shoes.
Man.
I wanted new shoes, not doggy no-no shoes.
- This stinks.
- Tell me about it.
Why do I feel a sudden breeze? - 'Cause your back door's open.
- Quick, Lilly, hide me.
- Over here.
They sell skirts.
- Awesome skateboards.
- Where? - It can wait! - Excuse me.
- May I help you? - Weren't you just over there? - No, that is my brother.
- A tough cookie, huh? - I'll say.
He wanted me to give him $ 75 for a pair of shoes.
Oh, he's terrible.
I'll give you a much better price.
- Great.
How much for this skirt? - $ 74.
95.
- I can't afford that.
- $25 or we walk.
You walk! I'm getting a sunburn where I shouldn't.
Miley, think about it, this is a real emergency.
You could use your emergency credit card! I don't know, Lilly.
I see London, I see France, I see someone's underpants! Okay, fine, charge it.
And just for you, I'll throw in this lovely belt.
- Thank you.
- For $20 more.
Hey, you need something to hold up the skirt.
Very true.
And you know what'd look great with that skirt and the belt? - These shoes? - Really? Hey, Jackson.
Okay, I did not lose my credit card again.
It is exactly where I put it or left it or dropped it.
Oh, Dad is gonna have a cow.
Of course, once he sees what you've done, he's gonna have the whole barn.
It was an emergency.
Where do you want these, Miley? A really big emergency.
Finally, my fingers are cramping.
Hey, can I use that electric hand massager you bought? Hand massager.
Expensive, electric hand massager.
Okay, all right, all right.
I'm up on stage, you know, holding that microphone.
Yeah, and with the singing and I'm dancing and all of a sudden, my hand cramps up.
And I've gotta stop the whole concert and disappoint thousands of people or Hand massager.
Okay, fine, it made sense when I was signing for it.
How did the carpet make sense? The guy said it would match my shoes.
- Oh, man, I blew it big time.
- Yes.
Yes, you did.
Oh, I cannot wait for the next family meeting.
When Dad gives you the look.
There you are, you little joker.
You are such a card.
Yes, you are.
A clean, pure, unswiped beauty.
Unlike somebody's dirty, soiled, little maxed-out mess.
Okay, whatever can get maxed-out can be maxed back in.
The guy gave me So all I have to do is take all this stuff back to the flea market.
What happened? Where did everybody go? - Where's the guy? - And his brother? Boy, when they say one day only, they're not kidding.
Oh, man, I can't believe this.
- Now there's only one thing left to do.
- Come clean and tell your dad? Heck, no, that's crazy talk.
I'm talking about the other only one thing.
- You wouldn't.
- You can't! I have to! You come to me now in your time of need and beg for help.
But when have you ever extended your hand in friendship? When have you ever given me the respect of calling me Godbrother? You made me wait 20 minutes so you could go put on some stupid costume and do a bad imitation? You hear that, Fluffy? More disrespect.
Fine.
I need your plotting, scheming, twisted mind, Godbrother.
This is so sweet! Of course I will help you.
But first I must serve hors d'oeuvres at the Greenwald-Demopoulos wedding.
Now, take Fluffy for a walk.
Miles, it's simple.
All you have to do is pay off the credit card bill before Dad ever even sees it.
But to do that, you need money.
Well Say hello to the carousel of cash.
I can't sell Hannah Montana stuff.
I use it.
Miles, you auction off some of this stuff on the Internet, your problems are solved.
There's stuff you've outgrown, things you never even wear.
- What about these earrings? - Those are important.
I used them in a video shoot last month and I'll probably never wear them again.
Exactly.
But some lucky girl out there will and she will pay through the nose for the chance.
Oh, that reminds me, a used Hannah Montana tissue, go for $37.
95.
How do you know that? That sinus infection you had last year, helped pay for my car.
Now blow, Daddy needs a set of spinners.
Money, money, money We earn the money We get paid We get the cash We get the bash We earn the money We get the cash Money, money, money We earn the money Getting the cash We get paid Hey.
All the money in the world And the grand total is Wow! I never thought I'd say this, but, Jackson, I love you.
Love-schmuv, I'm still getting my 40%.
- 10.
- 30.
- 10.
- 20.
- 10.
- Fine.
Hey, Mile, you in there? Quick, hide the stash, it's the man! Come in! Hi, Daddy, I was just reading my purse.
This one was inspected by Inspector 15.
I love her work.
Well, sorry to bother you, honey, I just need those earrings back that you used in that video shoot last month.
What earrings? What video? What month? You know the fake blue sapphire and diamond ones that they let us keep? Well, it turns out that they gave us the real ones instead.
They want them back.
Can you believe that? No.
So here's a funny thought.
How about we just buy them? Sure, if you have $250,000 burning a hole in your britches.
What? Jackson, what are you doing in there? Oh, uh I I like to nap here sometimes.
The motion is soothing.
Normally, I'd pursue that, but right now I'm more concerned with the fact that I'm on the hook for $250,000.
You hear that Jackson? $250,000.
It seems like you two have a lot to talk about.
I'm just gonna take another spin around the park.
Come to think of it, he always fell asleep on the merry-go-round or else he would upchuck.
- So where's the earrings? - Right! The earrings.
Those earrings They're - They're at - At Lilly's? Okay, and I'll get them back to you as soon as I can, but right now I need to be alone with my clothes.
Are you okay? Of course, I'm fine, I'm a girl, we do that.
- Shoo, shoo.
Out, out, out.
- What about your brother? Let sleeping brothers lie.
This is all your fault.
If I go down, you're going down with me, bub.
Hey, nobody's going anywhere, except for 400 Grand Street, the home of Katherine McCord.
Otherwise known as the girl who bought your earrings.
- You really think she'd give them back? - Not to you.
But maybe to Hannah Montana.
Are you sure this is the right address? I mean it looks like it's been a while since anybody here has pumped up the party.
It's the right address.
Maybe you just have a bunch of older fans you never even knew about.
Here, let me try something.
Hey, it's Hannah Montana! Okay, maybe not.
My daughter lives in Montana.
How nice for you.
She's gotta be around here somewhere.
Oh, excuse me.
Do you know a Katherine McCord? Yes.
Yes, I do.
- Is she here? - Yes, she is.
Where is she? - That's her in the wheel chair.
- Thanks.
- Would it kill you to be a little social? - Yes.
She's Katherine McCord? She bought my earrings? And she's wearing them.
Ma'am? Ma'am? Wow, I haven't seen somebody this out since Uncle Earl thought he could last three minutes in the ring with that boxing kangaroo.
- What are you doing? - I'm just gonna take them off real gently and put the money in her lap, all right? You wanna get that close, you got to buy me dinner, sailor.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Hey, you're Hannah Montana.
Thanks for the earrings.
Yeah, about that.
See, I kind of sold them to you by mistake and I'd really like to buy them back.
Oh! And I'd like to be President of these 48 states, but that isn't gonna happen either.
- But - But But But wait.
If you act right now, we'll throw in two VIP concert tickets with backstage passes and preferred wheelchair parking.
Yes! Yeah, yeah! All this can be yours if you let me buy back my earrings which are, of course, completely worthless.
Not to me.
You see, I bought these earrings because I thought they'd make me look younger.
Unless she's 108, I don't think it's working.
And I'll have you know, ever since I put these on, Burt over there can't take his eyes off me.
You don't understand.
These earrings are worth - The world to her - Yes.
because they belong to her grandmother.
Yes, yes, they did.
In fact, she wore them on her wedding night.
Well, now that's different.
Of course I'll return them.
- Thank you.
- But only to your grandmother.
I can't trust you, blondie, you sold them in the first place.
- But - Is that a problem? No, of course not.
Actually, Grandma's down the hall visiting an old friend right now.
That's right.
She is.
Well, go get her, and make it fast.
I've got water aerobics in 10 minutes and I want to get the good noodle.
Yes, Miss McCord, I'd like you to meet my nana, Nana Montana.
My, aren't you a cute young thing? My, it's been a while since anybody called me that.
I hear that.
Barely.
So, Nana, don't you want those earrings back that mean more to you than life itself? Why, yes.
Yes I do.
Oh, I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding.
Let me give these back to you.
But first, I could really use a glass of water.
Of course.
Hannah will get that for you, won't you, dear? - Sure.
- And one for me.
Lemon wedge, no ice.
Of course.
So you wore these on your wedding day.
- I want to hear all about it.
- Oh, yes, of course.
Morris was in the service.
He invented the Morris code, you know.
I'll never forget his proposal.
Dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dot, dash.
Oh, how romantic.
I know, it still gives me the chills.
It's the air-conditioning.
It's like living in a meat locker.
It was a beautiful wedding.
I'll never forget dancing with President Lincoln.
Nana, you and your stories.
So what about those earrings? Don't rush us, honey, we're having such a nice talk.
Now make yourself useful and rub my neck.
Save some TLC for me.
Oh, yeah, I'm saving a little something something for you, Nana.
Promise me you always will be there for me Be the one to wash and brush my hair for me Show nothing but tender loving care for me Be my lady when I'm pushing 80 Promise me you'll tend to each and every need Treat me to your special therapy I'm counting on you so promise me And then Kong put me down to fight the airplanes.
Okay, guys, I got your bathtubs filled, but I'm not helping either of you into it! Now, please, how about those earrings? Oh, the earrings.
Yeah, I almost forgot.
But, first, I feel like a slice of rhubarb pie.
Okay, that's it, Grandma! Give me back my earrings! Not without my pie! My earrings! Hey, those are my earrings.
What are you doing? Trying to teach my kids a lesson about keeping things from their father! Aha! We got you, suckers! - Thanks for helping me out, Katherine.
- My pleasure, dear.
I haven't had this much fun since I performed on Broadway for President Lincoln, you sweet little twit.
Cut me some slack, that wig was pretty tight.
I'm sorry, Daddy.
I should've come to you as soon as I messed up.
But I just didn't want you to think of me as irresponsible.
Well, I hope that you've learned the longer you avoid coming clean, the dirtier things get.
Which reminds me.
You're gonna be cleaning out the garage and several other places until you get that credit card paid off.
But, Daddy, there's spiders in the garage.
I'll wear gloves.
Hey, how did you find out anyway? Well, I've had my eye on those Internet auctions ever since I found out someone was selling used Hannah nose blowers.
I just wanna point out, that's a victimless crime.
Oh, there's gonna be a victim all right.
- Daddy, aren't you gonna go after him? - He won't get far.
Oh, yeah, you're right, he does have to stop at the pool.
At least we'll take him home clean.