Hannah Montana s02e05 Episode Script

I Am Hannah, Hear Me Croak

Life's what you make it So let's make it rock Let's celebrate it Join in, everyone You decide 'cause life's what you make it Life is what you make it Thank you.
I love you, too.
Good night, everybody.
Hannah! Hannah! You guys want more? Ya'll are awesome.
I'll sing all night long if you want me to.
Let's kick it, guys.
You want some toast? I'll bet you do Please add some jam and butter, too We're out of grape So sad It's all your fault, you bad dad -You know what, Son? -Yeah, Dad? You got nerve.
There she is, six encores, the voice that wouldn't stop.
Well, they were just such a great audience They were such a great audience -Well, this isn't good.
-Here, try some of this.
Life's what you make it Help me.
come on! You get the limo out front Hottest styles, every shoe every colour Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun It's really you but no one ever discovers Who would have thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds chill it out, take it slow Then you rock out the show You get the best of both worlds Mix it all together And you know that it's the best of both worlds Do, re, mi, fa, so not working.
And it won't work if you keep talking.
You know, honey, this used to happen to me all the time when I was out on tour.
And the only thing that would help was when your mama made me stop -and not talk for a while.
-I could do that.
-Mile? -What? -You're talking.
-Dang.
Dang! There you go.
Now, listen, keep it like that, or we're gonna have to cancel the big concert on Tv Saturday.
That's a girl.
Now, if you need to say anything for the next couple of days, just use that.
Hannah Montana has never cancelled a concert before, and she's not about to start now.
I know that would just break your heart.
And when your heart breaks, baby sis, so does mine.
"You got a hot date for the concert, don't you, Jerkson?" -Dad.
-She wrote it.
I can't believe you think that I'm that selfish that I'd put my own -What's her name, Son? -Jenny.
And she's a total babe.
So put a cork in it, froggy.
I got a lot riding on this.
Use the pad.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Miley, I know you wanna get better, but sucking on those lollipops isn't gonna do anything but rot your teeth.
Miley, release.
Fine.
You leave me no choice.
Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.
Wow, a week without talking.
You know, that's gotta be tough for a girl.
Now guys, we're different.
I don't need to talk.
I can not talk for a month, wouldn't bother me at all.
But, girls.
Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
"Hey, Sally, nice capris.
" "I love your purse.
" Now, that's just rude.
Miley, I know this is gonna be hard, but you just have to stop fighting it.
And don't worry, we're gonna be right here for you until you get your voice back.
-Hey, Lilly, you wanna catch a few? -Oh, yeah.
Please.
Thank you.
You know, this is nice.
Just sitting here enjoying the sun, the beach, the fresh air.
That's the thing about nature, it is just so quiet and peaceful.
Not like the constant noise you get when you're in the city.
Pull the vehicle over.
Pull I know, it drives me crazy, too.
-Hey, Oliver.
-What up, Dex? Hey, Miley.
Feeling better? Great.
So, maybe if you're not busy Friday night we could go to the movies or something.
I got this one for you.
In your dreams, Poindexter.
We're playing hard to get.
Okay, what she meant was, "Movies, shmovies.
" You should plant one on her right now, big boy.
Will you make up your mind? You know, we're sending Dex mixed signals.
And he's Maybe another time.
"Four score and seven years ago" is the beginning of what famous speech? Finger on my hand, find the smartest in the land.
Keep sliding, Oken, I can still see you.
Miley, make me smiley.
I got this one for you.
Miley's answer is the Bettysburg Address.
I think she means Betty Burg's address.
Who's Betty Burg? What? The only other thing on here is "I heart Dex," and I'm not gonna say that with him sitting right there.
Okay, it'll be one week in exactly three, two, one.
Speak.
Darling, I know you're scared.
But we gotta find out sooner or later.
Dad's right, Miles.
Miles? Great, now she can't hear either.
You are falling apart just when Jenny and I need you the most.
-That is so like you.
-Would you shut it already? I'm nervous enough, and I don't know if I can I can talk.
Yeah.
It's so good to hear your voice again.
"I heart Dex"? The last thing you wanna do is overwork it.
"Betty Burg's address"? Man, did you make her look dumb.
-"Plant one on her right now, big boy"? -Like you weren't thinking it.
Okay, now we know Miley can talk.
Let's see if Hannah can sing.
Don't let no small frustration Ever bring you down No, no, no, no Just take a situation And turn it all around With a new attitude everything can change Make it how you want it to be Staying mad, why do that? Give yourself a break Laugh about it and you'll see Life's what you make it So let's make it rock Make it rock, yeah Life's what you make it So come on -come on -come on, everybody now Jenny, isn't the concert wonderful? What's that? You bad girl.
Life's what you make it So let's make it rock Life's what you make it So come on come on I'm sorry, Miley.
This problem's not going to go away on its own.
If you ever wanna sing again, I'm afraid you're going to need surgery.
Surgery? Really? Trust me, we're talking about a very minor operation.
I could do it blindfolded.
I won't.
I'm just saying that I could.
Not that you'd know.
I mean, you'd be out cold.
Doesn't that make you feel better? It doesn't, does it? I should stop now.
You think? I'm sorry.
I'm just trying to reassure you that this surgery is no big deal.
One hour in my office, one week in recovery, -and you'll be as good as new, okay? -Okay.
Really, I mean, the chances of anything going wrong and you permanently losing your singing voice are one in a million.
Oh, boy.
One in a million? Well, what if I'm that one? Doc, you were this close.
Well, when I say one in a million, it's just a figure of speech.
I haven't done anywhere near that many.
Not that I haven't done a lot, because I have.
I'm going.
Daddy, there was a one in a million chance you'd be a rock star, and that happened.
There was a one in a million chance I'd be a pop star, and that happened.
Face it, this family's one in a million central.
Hey, Mile, I really think you're overreacting.
This guy's one of the best surgeons in the country.
Yeah, Dad's right.
Besides, what do you think's gonna happen? Just as the surgery's about ready to start, a meteor hits a bus.
The bus drives into a hotdog stand, a giant neon wiener flies into the power lines, the lights go off in the operating room, and the next thing you know, you're spending the rest of your life singing like Aunt Pearl after she swallowed that kazoo.
Remember? Oh, no.
I'm never gonna be Hannah Montana again all because of a giant wiener.
Here you go, Miley.
I want you to open this one next.
Yes, just what I wanted.
Now I can be just like Daddy.
Let's hear something.
Rock, rock, rock Yeah, yeah, yeah Rock, rock, rock Oh, yeah I love you, Tennessee.
Good night.
Drive careful.
Did you hear that, babe? This little girl might just end up giving you a run for your money.
Well, maybe one day I might just have to take you up on stage with me.
Encore, encore, encore.
Jingle bells, Jackson smells from 15 miles away -I'm gonna get you, runt.
-Help! Hey, no running in the house.
-He did it.
-She did it.
Don't you just love christmas? Hey, Mile.
I made you a cup of my famous loco hot cocoa with little marshmallows so you don't choke-o.
Choke-o.
Choke-o.
I'm gonna keep saying it until you laugh.
Choke-o.
Daddy, what if something goes wrong in the surgery, and I can't be Hannah Montana any more? Well, then, I guess you'll just have to pack your bags and get out.
Baby, that's not gonna happen.
Everything's gonna be fine.
The only thing you need to worry about is what flavour ice cream you're gonna be scarfing down after it's over.
How do you know that? 'Cause there's some things in life a daddy just knows.
Like, I know the sun's gonna come up tomorrow morning.
I know Uncle Earl's never gonna be an underwear model.
And I know your voice is gonna be fine.
You get some rest now, bud.
-Good night, Dad.
-Night.
-Love you.
-Love you.
Miley! Where is that useless freeloader? Right here, Daddy.
I thought I told you to iron these socks.
You know how I like a nice crease in my hosiery.
Sorry, Daddy, I'm still cleaning the oven.
Wait a minute, what's that on the corner of your mouth? Have you been eating the burnt bits off the broiler pan again? Sorry, Daddy.
I'm just so hungry.
Month-old trout skin, my favourite.
Well, quit stuffing your face and get to ironing.
Just because that surgery caused you to lose your singing voice doesn't mean you can lay around here licking up trout drippings like the Queen of Sheba.
But I can sing, Daddy.
I've been practising.
Listen.
This is the life Don't ever do that again.
Okay.
Now, there's only person in this house that can sing, and we all know who that is.
Jingle bells, Miley smells from 50 miles away, yeah Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Bucky Kentucky.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But Jackson could never sing.
And Bucky Kentucky? That's the dumbest name I've ever heard.
You're just jealous 'cause you don't have a state that rhymes with your name any more, little miss nobody.
Please, like anyone would ever be a fan of Bucky Kentucky.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
It's Bucky Kentucky! -It's Bucky Kentucky! -Dude, dude, dude, dude, you rock! I love you! Guys, what are you doing? It's Jackson.
-I'm sorry, did you hear something? -Yeah.
It sounds like a washed-up pop star.
Let's go kids, or we're gonna be late for Bucky's big concert.
-The limo's waiting.
-Last one in is a Miley.
Guys, what about me? I should be going to the concert, too.
I was Hannah Montana once.
Please don't treat me like this.
I have feelings.
I'm not a piece of furniture.
Guys.
I'm not a piece of furniture.
Okay, maybe I am.
Hang on, kids.
I've just gotta grab my keys and my wallet.
There they are.
Daddy, what happened to me? I'm nothing but a table.
Honey, you're much more than that.
You're also a coat rack.
Sweet niblets.
We'd love to take you along with us, Mile, but you just got too many hang-ups.
-Hey, that's a good one, Daddy.
-See, I told you I was funny.
No, don't leave.
Somebody help me.
Please.
Baby girl, you always did have the strangest dreams.
Mama? Mom, it is you.
Sorry.
Your daddy gave you some of his loco hot cocoa before bed again, didn't he? He knows what sugar does to you.
I swear, when I'm finished here, I'm popping in to one of his dreams.
He is gonna get an earful.
Not helping.
It's your dream, sweet pea.
If you don't like it, all you have to do is change it.
It's not that easy.
Hey, maybe it was.
Where were you when I was eating trout skin? All right, baby girl, we both know you didn't dream me here to ask me that.
Now why don't you tell me what's really on your mind? I lost my voice.
And if it doesn't come back, then -Then -Miley, do you really think if you're not Hannah Montana, you're no better than a piece of furniture? Look at that thing.
I swear, there is nothing more dangerous than your daddy with a pocket full of cash and one of Uncle Earl's garage sales.
Mom, if I can't sing, then I'm just I'm just Miley.
And what in the world is wrong with that? I think just Miley is pretty darn terrific.
And I know that she is strong enough to handle anything.
-She is? -Heck, yeah.
That's the way your daddy and I raised you.
You're a wonderful girl, and that's why your friends love you so much.
What friends? You saw the way they treated me.
For heaven's sake.
Lilly, Oliver, get in here.
If she wasn't Hannah Montana, would you still be her friends? Are you kidding? Of course we would.
Miley, you were my best friend way before I knew you were Hannah Montana.
Then why'd you all just walk out on me? -It's your dream.
-It's your dream.
And it was only scary because you're so worried about that surgery tomorrow.
It's true, Miles.
In real life, I sing like a starving walrus.
Mom, this is where you say, "No, you don't, honey.
" No, you don't, honey.
Just a regular walrus.
-A cute, tone-deaf walrus.
-Thanks.
-I like your mom.
She's funny.
-She's pretty, too.
That's it.
You're out of here.
Hey, why am I leaving? I don't wanna go.
Stop! This is not fair! The point is, whether you're Hannah Montana or just Miley, you're still gonna be the annoying, obnoxious little sister.
That I love.
-Okay, you can wake up anytime now.
-I ain't done yet.
You see, no matter what happens to your voice, you have the most important thing a person can have.
-People who care about you.
-You're right, Mommy.
You think? What the heck? Oliver, get back in here.
Thank you.
You were loved before you were Hannah Montana, and you'll be loved long after Hannah's on one of those "Where Are They Now" shows.
I think you're confusing me with Dad.
I am not worried about you one bit.
-I miss your hugs, Mom.
-Baby girl, they're never far away.
All you have to do is think about me.
Now, listen, say goodbye to your friends and get some sleep.
You did good, honey.
You're doing a pretty good job yourself.
Except for that hot chocolate before bed.
Yeah, about that.
I know you always told me not to do that, but this was a very emotional Miley, you can wake up now.
Robby Ray, how many times do I have to tell you? Miley, wakey, wakey.
I cannot believe you still have that table.
No wonder the girl's having nightmares.
I'm sorry, darling.
You know I always was a pushover.
That you were.
'cause it's you and me together Don't be scared, baby girl.
The surgeon did a wonderful job.
Your voice sounds better than ever.
Come on.
I'm always on your side No one, no one, no one can ever change it come on, let 'em try -'cause it's you and me together now -You and me together now -Jackson, cut it out, boy.
-Hey, it's your dream.
Not this time.
Well, if it's not your dream, and it's not mine, then whose is it? I think I know.
Mama was right about that hot chocolate.

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