Hannah Montana s02e26 Episode Script

Hey, Rico.
What's going on over here? A wonderful thing.
A wonderful, magical thing.
The mother ship's finally coming back to take you to Planet Shortdork? No.
That generous billionaire over there is donating a new playground.
Finally, the children will have a swing to swing on, a slide to slide on And your hot dogs to spend money on? Papa didn't raise no fool.
Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to hop into the world of advertising.
Miley.
Miley.
Hello! What? That guy over there.
When I saw him, it was like we were the only two people on this beach.
They say that happens with true love.
What if it turns out that he's the one? At your wedding, I'll be able to say that I was standing right next to you when You completely ignored me and walked away.
Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of my wife, Jeanette, and myself, William Harris, it's a great honour to present to the city of Malibu this cheque for the new William Harris Playground and Recreation Centre.
Hi.
Hi.
This isn't about me, William Harris.
This is about the children.
About the children, and how happy they will be playing at the William Harris Playground and Recreation Centre, donated by me, William Harris.
Wow, I guess the only thing bigger than that cheque is his big fat head.
Now, I want you to meet my son.
This ought to be good.
-Trey.
-That's me.
Of course it is.
come on! You get the limo out front Hottest styles, every shoe every colour Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun It's really you but no one ever discovers Who would have thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds chill it out, take it slow Then you rock out the show You get the best of both worlds Mix it all together And you know that it's the best of both worlds Miley, it's been two days.
You got to forget about him.
I can't.
I let him slip through my fingers like this sand he walked on.
This beautiful, beautiful sand.
Bye-bye sand.
Okay, you talked to him for like a minute.
-You don't even know him.
-So? You're in love with Orlando Bloom, and he doesn't even know you exist.
Yet.
But he will.
And then you will watch the Lilly Bloom.
-Lilly Bloom? -I know! How cool is that? Lilly, I'm serious.
I can't get him out of my head, and now he's gone.
It's not like Orlando, where you can just push "play disc" again.
And, in the shirtless scenes, slo-mo.
Interesting ring.
-Well, I was homesick.
-Yeah.
-Hello.
-Hannah.
Hey, Traci, now's not really a good time.
Tell me about it.
My Putt-Putt for Puppies charity event is in four hours, and I just found out Abigail Breslin and her partner are wearing blue.
Wow! First, global warming, and now this.
I know! So, fashion flash, Team Traci is now wearing mauve.
-What? -Mauve.
-What? -Purple! Just wear purple! Traci, I don't think I'm going to be able to come tonight.
Hannah, you're my partner.
I can't be partner-less at my own Putt-Putt for Puppies party.
I'll look pathetic.
-Fine, I'll be there.
-All better.
What did she want? To make sure I was wearing mauve.
-What? -Mauve.
-What? -Purple! I don't even want to go.
I just want to sit and dream about Trey.
Hi.
Okay, here's the deal.
You wait here, I'll go back home, send my extremely normal twin sister back.
-I think you're going to like her.
-Really? Right, Lilly? Yeah, it's true.
All the cute, none of the kooky.
One sec.
There.
Now I'm as kooky as you feel.
-I'm Trey.
-I'm Miley.
I'm Lilly.
And I'm leaving.
I'm not actually leaving-leaving.
I just want him to think I'm leaving-leaving, so he doesn't think I'm watching, which I will be, -but he won't know because -Go! You were saying? Listen, I was wondering if you'd go out with me tonight.
-Tonight? -Yeah.
-Tonight's going to be -Perfect.
For you to go out.
Because I, your best friend, will be busy at a charity putt-putt golf tournament filling in for another friend, a blonde one, who sings Too much information.
Thank you.
-So, tonight? -Yes! Sorry, your moment.
What she said.
Cool, I'll have a car come pick you up and you can meet us at the restaurant.
Us? What, are you bringing your parents? Actually, yes.
Melon-headed hottie say what? Ma, you were right.
I should've hired a housekeeper years ago.
This place is cleaner than Uncle Earl the time he chased that rolling quarter through the car wash.
Yeah.
Lord, yeah, she's just about cleaned the entire house.
All she has left to do is Jackson's room.
I gotta go, Ma.
I have never seen anything so disgusting in my whole life.
And I've watched my toothless husband eat corn on the cob.
Now, I know the boy's a little messy, but Messy? I'd say he lived like a pig, but that would be an insult to pigs! I quit! How about if I double your salary? I was bitten by a sock.
Let me at least get the door for you.
Hey! You must be the new cleaning lady.
I'm Jackson.
You must be so very proud.
I don't know what her problem was, Dad.
There's a place for everything and everything's in its place.
Then what is a hot dog doing in your shoe? It's a foot-long.
Foot.
Shoe.
Get it? I'll tell you what I get.
You're going to clean up this trash heap.
And you can start by picking up these clothes and putting them in the closet where they belong.
No, Dad, I wouldn't do that.
That's it! We're cleaning this room out! And stop tickling my foot, boy! I'm way over here.
Lilly, darling, don't I look smashing? Miley, darling, what are my other choices? Okay, look, I'm meeting Trey's parents! They're like billionaires.
I've got to make sure they like me.
So if that means looking like this and talking funny, then, "William, Jeanette, it's divine to meet you.
Kiss, kiss.
Kiss, kiss.
" Hello, ladies.
Miley, what the Sam heck are you doing dressed like that? I'm going on a date.
Wow, if you don't like the guy, why don't you just tell him? Works for me.
-Really? -Yeah.
At least I know the fellow will keep his hands off of you.
See? Lilly, I have never felt this way about a guy before.
I really like him.
And if his parents don't like me, then that could ruin everything.
What am I supposed to do? Okay, he already likes you just the way you are.
I'm sure his parents will too.
Maybe you're right.
I mean, Trey is really awesome, how bad can his parents be? Hey, I'm Miley Stewart.
Nice to meet y'all.
What an adorable little accent.
Son, you never mentioned she's a genuine country bumpkin! I've never met a bumpkin.
Wait till I tell the girls at the club.
You're kidding me, right? Darling, please, don't just stand there.
Have a seat.
Or should I say, "Sit a spell"? -Okay, listen -We'll be right back.
Trey, take your time.
We'll be "a-waitin'.
" -I know, I know, they're a little -Rude? Mean? Horrible? -Why didn't you warn me? -Because you wouldn't have come.
And I wouldn't have been able to do this.
Oh, boy.
Please, don't let them scare you off.
I really like you.
Well, lucky for you, I don't scare easy.
Mr and Mrs Harris? I have something to say.
I am Miley Stewart, and I am not just some regular hillbilly.
Hello.
Hannah, you have to get down here pronto.
Your friend, Lola, is ruining my party.
Hey, Orlando! Great butt.
Putt! Great putt! Wait, come back! This is the most hideous evening anyone could ever have.
Wanna bet? Look at me, darling, I'm country.
Thank you.
Miley.
Refreshing, light, lemony.
They're called finger bowls, dear.
It's for "warshing up" between courses.
-"Warshing up"? -I'm sorry.
Well, if the soup is half as good, this ought to be quite a meal.
Interesting.
What is it? They They call it sweetbreads.
Doesn't taste like bread.
That's because it's cow pancreas.
And it's yummy.
Trey, I forgot to mention, next week, we're taking the private jet to London for a gala with the Queen.
Perhaps your little friend would like to come.
Have you ever been on a plane, dear? Yes, ma'am, I have.
I'm sorry.
I meant one that doesn't spray crops.
All right, Mother, that's enough.
You're darn tootin' that's enough! Not only have I been on a jet, I have already met the Queen.
In fact, I sang The Other Side of Me for her and her granddaughter.
-Really? -Really? Really? Who wants dessert? Oh, no, I'd much rather hear about how you sang for the Queen.
Well, it wasn't just me, it was my school.
In London.
Where I went to school.
In London.
-Which school? -Hogwarts.
Miley, where are you going with this? I'll tell you when I get there.
Why were you living in London? My daddy worked there as a Diplomat? Okay.
Diplomat! v ery impressive.
We'd love to meet him.
Well, we will most definitely have to do that in the very near or distant future.
No, there's no time like the present, my dear, let's go right now.
-Now? -Now.
Unless you have a problem with that? No! No problem at all.
I've just got to go powder my nose.
v ery shiny.
You know what I mean, girl.
Daddy, my date's parents want to come and meet you.
-Now.
-Now? Yeah, and they're kind of snobby, so if you could, you know, clean up around the house, fluff the pillows, flush the toilets, pick the hair out of the soap, that kind of thing.
Okay.
Well, it's going to take a little more than that.
Dad, one more thing, I kind of almost blew the Hannah secret, so I'm gonna have to ask you one more teeny-tiny little favour.
We're home! Welcome to Stewart Manor! Sweet niblets.
Father, Brother, meet the Harrises.
Please, call me William.
Jolly good! And I'm Jeanette.
Good show! I'm Trey.
-Jolly good show! -Jolly good show! That's odd.
They speak with an English accent and you don't.
Yes.
They do.
And there is a very simple explanation for that.
Right, Father? Of course.
Tell them, Jackson! She had a nanny! From Nashville! Who made her watch reruns of The Beverly Hillbillies.
On the telly! Now that was a jolly good show! Okay, this has been lovely! Thanks for the ride home! Don't be silly, we just arrived.
Let's all get to know each other! Capital idea! You come with me, young thing! -Remember how you said you like me? -Yeah.
-Hold on to that.
-Right.
So there we are, Prince William on my left, Prince Harry on my right, and the fox just in front of us.
Well, I crept right up to that magnificent animal and I said, "Hey, foxy momma, can I buy you a soda?" Well, she said yes.
And once again, the two young princes had to admit that I was the king! Really, this is too much.
What kind of fools do you think we are? This is why I don't get second dates.
Can't you see it, Trey? They're fortune hunters! What did you just call us? A bunch of backwoods, banjo-strumming, hillbilly gold-diggers.
Now, listen here, Bub.
And you, too, Mrs Bub.
Dad, let it go.
I made this mess, let me clean it up.
It's nice knowing you.
I want y'all to get your snooty booties out of our house! Excuse me? No.
I have been excusing you all night, and I'm done with it.
Okay, sure, my daddy's no diplomat, but he's not a banjo-strumming hillbilly either.
He's a guitar-strumming hillbilly, and I'm proud of him! And my brother! Let me just tell you, my brother What are you going to do? Can't pick your family.
Gee, thanks, sis.
I'm feeling the love.
So if y'all can't accept me and where I come from, don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.
Bye-bye.
Jolly good show, darlin'.
Jeanette, Trey, we're leaving! You know what? No, no, you're leaving.
I'm staying, if that's all right with you.
-Half an hour? -I'll drive you home.
I just got to go out to the barn and hitch up that there team of mules.
-This is not the way we raised you.
-I'm disappointed in you, son.
The feeling's mutual.
You know the sprinklers just went on out front.
You guys might want to go out the back.
I'd cram myself through a mail slot to get out of this place.
The sprinklers go on in the morning.
Wait for it.
Jeanette, let go of my leg! I'm not touching your leg! Now, that is a jolly good show.
So you actually eat these things with your hands? It's the only way.
I love this! You know, I think the boy's got promise.
Yeah, you should try grunting.
It's fun.
-You don't have to do that.
-I'm not gonna.
Oh, no, it's Traci.
I wonder what Lilly did now.
Hello? Orlando! You don't understand.
We're meant for each other! You can't run away from destiny! You so owe me.