Hannah Montana s03e05 Episode Script

Killing Me Softly With His Height

Dad's going to love the new hairdryer I got him.
Three temperatures, four speeds, and extra long cord for that hard to reach back hair.
Your Dad blow dries his back hair? My mornings are not pretty.
- Oh and - did I mention it comes with a free comb? - Cool.
What are you getting Jackson? I was thinking a comb.
- Hey, who's the hottie with Oliver - Dibs! Wait! That's not fair! You know the rules.
No buzzing until I complete a question! Sorry honey.
But when they're cute there are no rules.
Hey, now you can't give it to Jackson.
Sure I can! Hey! Oliver, how you doing? Get some Christmas shopping done? - You know, I actually got my Mom - - Yeah, She'll love it.
You are? Extremely happy I didn't order this with onions.
I'm Connor.
I'm Miley.
I'm Lily, but she buzzed in early.
- Again? - Tell me about it.
So, ar, who you shopping for? Your mom your dad your girlfriend? No, I'm just grabbing a bite before work.
I have a part time job here at the mall.
Oh cool! But if you were shopping for your mom, your dad and your girlfriend and you already got your mum and dad something would you still be shopping? It depends.
Anything in this mall you might be interested in? I've got my eye on something.
Ar, excuse me, I'm just going to head over to Bed, Bath and Barf bag! Hey guys! Hey Sofie.
Hey Oliver.
Um, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go catch a movie tonight? Ar, sorry Sofie, I'm going out of town.
Tonight.
Yeah, I'm doing some roady work for this cool new band - ar Restrooms this way.
Oh, OK, well maybe next time? Sure.
Will do that.
We'll go next time.
The restrooms this way? Who's there opening act, the "place trays here"? OK, Lily, I can't go out with her.
I mean, she's cute, but did you see the size of her feet? You are turning her down because of one, little physical thing? Little? Miley, Big Foot called her last week to borrow a pair of her slippers! СС.
Oh! Oh.
Dude, I'm with Miley on this one.
That's cold.
Yeah! And you're being totally shallow.
û.
Besides, she was kind of cute.
Cute, she wasn't cute! Did you see the size of her feet? You know you're funny.
Öª.
Yeah.
That's what I was going for.
Hey, Miley, would you want to go to the holiday carnival with me tonight? I'd love to.
So I'll meet you there? Yeah I will.
See! I'm going to the carnival with someone totally nice.
Something you would be doing if you weren't so judgmental! Yeah face it Oliver, Miley's just the bigger person.
û.
Later guys.
Sweet Niblets! I got a date with a Sweet Niblet! HANNAH MONTANA - Well, well, well.
- Don't! Now Miley, there's no reason to be 'short-tempered'.
Miley.
Oliver.
Cut it out! Sure she was surprised, but she's not gonna' Oliverס.
What I'm saying is, she can rise above You try it, it's harder than you think! I was a little caught off guard.
See I, unlike you, can pass the difference in our various altitudes.
Various altitudes? Miley, come on, face it.
You're as shallow as I am.
But the diffrence is, I admit it.
For instance weird headline too many freckles! Oh, here we go, hey Baby, how you doing? Back off, helmet hair.
Shallow! and I respect that.
Well I don't.
Me and Connor are going to have a great time tonight because Good things come in small packages? OK, look, I'm sorry, it's a bad hobit habit! That one was an accident.
Hmm got a little bit of a tilt there, buddy.
Oh.
Oh, dang flab it! There.
Straight as an arrow.
Dad, hey Dad! Cut the tree too short again? No! Don't be silly.
û.
Just soaring up some firewood, that's all.
We don't have a fireplace.
It's always the negative with you, isn't it! Well not today! Because I just got back from the college of my dreams! State University of Santa Barbra! ʥ.
Amazing beaches, beautiful babes and a party on every block.
- How are the classes? - The what? The classes.
You did look into the classes, right? Oh yeah lots of them.
They all had big blackboards and other educational learning stuff.
Jackson.
Santa Barbra's a great school son, but it's not all that easy to get into.
Jackson ʥ I know, but I've got it all figured out.
See, I may not have the greatest grades, but I only need one thing to get myself through the door.
Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility? Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility? No! A letter of reccommendation.
Ö»ÒªÒ».
Son, I don't want to be the mouldy cheese in your refrigerator of hope But, where are you going to find somebody to write you that letter? Right there.
Right next to where it says Major Contribution made by Influential.
That looks just like Not bad, Stewart.
But you're going to have to do a lot more than this if you want to get a letter of reccomendation out of me.
Yes Mr.
Dontzig very good Mr.
Dontzig anything you say Mr.
Dontzig! Hey, what's going on back there? I've lost that gloving feeling! 'lovin feeling! Laugh at my jokes! Yes Mr.
Dontzig, very funny Mr.
Dontzig, as you wish Mr.
Dontzig Oh.
Now the toenails are softened up nicely.
Get the clippers! Sohow do you know oliver? Eh we met in little league you have your own league? Oh you mean baseball! I get it now, it went right over my head are you going to like, hog the whole thing? Yes! Excuse me, my son is afraid to ride alone and I'm too big to fit on a train.
Would you mind riding with him? Sure of course - 1 sec, I'll be right back - alright Did you have to be taller than him? Hey Miley, hey Connor, my mistake.
Oliver stop it Oliverס yeah go ahead, have your fun but conner and I are having an awsesome time hey guys hey I had a really great time tonight thanks, so did I and umthank you so much for the drawing of us лл are, are you sure you don't wanna keep it? Uh, no no, it's for you, a little reminder of our first date sure is ȷʵ see you around wait, before you go I'm sorry, this isn't working you're right, you're right ˵ - I'm really happy that you understand - wait here you go That should do it, I'm just gonna jump on it real quick and support on your shoulders yeah no, still not working, I'm sorry Connor but hey, you have brown eyes, I never noticed it umthis can't happen I you don't wanna kiss me cause I'm short no! no no no, that's not it at all, no, it just, I haven't done my lip exercise yet Ö» you know got to get them all warmed up Öª you don't wanna kiss that, come on, look you know I thought you were different Öª I am different no you're not, good night Miley hey Mile, and you must be Connor! I stuffed, that's bunny funny it's simple lilly, I went out with him realized there was no spark and, that was it! end of story right, and you know if it make you feel any better, you can always set him up with bubblehead hannah û if you are the short guy, I'll be your girlfriend it is not because he's short, and I refuse to feel bad because I'm not attracted to him - because he's short - no because he has brown eyes! - you love brown eyes - not on short guys! Did I just say that out loud?? Life is just a party so come as you are.
Dress it up or dress it down, never forget your guitar.
Just be courageous, this styles contagious.
Everyone can rock out like a superstar.
ÿ.
Lets get crazy.
Get up and dance.
Take a swing, do your thing it's worth taking a chance.
Lets get crazy yo, I didn't pay for half Montana, I paid for the whole stage hey, I maybe small, but I have a big voice! Not big enough! Hey, You don't judge me! I'm a human being! Biggest teen in pop? That doesn't look like it from here wow, I really blew with Connor, I gotta go clean up this mess uh, what about this mess? Nah, I can't believe we have to spend our weekend doing that man's laundry! Yeah, tell me about it.
Last thing I wanna do in this beautiful morning is fold up that man's delicates.
And on what planet is this delicate? I'll never be able to watch another Tarzan movie again! My dear friends on the admission board Jackson Stewart is a most promising young student I've ever met Jackson Stewart blah blah blah, I Santa Barbra here I come! ʥ thank you dontzig, thankya thankya л not so fast, there's one little caveate man I thought I massage your carveartsyesterday wow, you are dumb!! Come on Dontzig he did everything you ask, just give him that letter oh I'd be happy to Stewart, just 1 last little favor - I have a sister - I feel sorry for her She happens to be a big Robbie Ray fan! I'm starting to feel sorry for me oh quit your whinning, one afternoon with sis and Malibu's most unwanted gets to go to college! Pls dad I mean, who knows, maybe she's nice and pretty? Maybe she's nice? Ҳ she happens to be a total babe!! Oh my gosh, it's Robbie Ray! I don't believe it! Come on Dontzig, you're not fooling anybody with that wig - what wig? So where does he work? - I don't know, I'll check this way you check that way - ok Have you list already, santa busy busy busy ho ho ho ho - you don't think? - no! - then why aren't you looking? - cuz I'm afraid to He's not making this easy, is he? Hey, on the plus side, the pointy hat adds like 3 inches excuse me, excuse me guys, sorry excuse me ok yeah ok yeah thank you Connor I need I need to talk to you Connor I'm sorry, but I'm busy talking to good girls and boys what's with the voice? Oh that's how elves talk, yeah, I won't crush kids dreams like you crushed mine - but Connor - that's it goodbye - pls Connor - security! Alright alright, keep your tights on, I'm going that went well! It's not over yet, I just gotta figure out a way to talk to em I cannot believe you gonna make me do this! - do what? - you'll see That'Sam I getting that predictable? Getting? Well come on Donna it's time to go, like mommy used to say: Always leave when they're wanting more Ҫ - leaving so soon? - ah yes, she's gotta go But I'll be back again tomorrow can't stay away from my soul mate forever ah hahahahahaha her soul what? Well I can't say I'm surprise, sure she always did have a thing for losers! But as long as you keep her happy I'm happy! And you, as you would say, get an happy matriculating! ( Look it up! Her soul what? Don't worry dad, no thank you boy, thank you! лл oh man! why can't I be at the front? Because when I apologizing I don - I wanna ride on Rudolf! - me too! Sorry kids no time I got official reindeer business excuse me merry chrstmas ya excuse me oh sorry sorry kids hey Connor.
Miley what are you doing here? Miley - I'm trying to apologize - a chu! - bless you - thank you - listen Connor I had a great time in - smile! Wait, I think I blinked! Doesn't matter! Connor II had a really great time with you and I was really hoping Connor yeah yeah yeah, we can still be friends I've heard it all before! Connor, elf voice Connor С I've heard it all before Connor pls wait Connor hey, how you doing? And what do you want for christmas? To be in the front for once! Connor pls wait! Connor look no thanks, I have all the friends I need Connor Connor excuse me excuse me, buttless reindeer coming thru listen conner, I'm not asking to be your friend I'm asking for second chance what? ʲô I was stupid, judgemental and wrong and I'd really love to go out with you again why? because you feel sorry for me? Ϊʲô no! Because you're cute, funny, smart and I'm a total sanker for brown eyes I don't know I don't usually date girls with antlers so And I don't really go out with guys who wear tights butI give it a shot if you will ok it's a deal cool, um, can I just ask you for a favor? What? Scratch right there.
- where? - there Well Stewart, you broke my sister's heart but I'll give you one more chance to get dumber in the college no way no how! my son may not be brilliant, but he's smart enough to get into college without your help! You really believe that dad? Yes I do, son well I don't, what do you need Farmer Fred to do? Turns out my cousin is an even bigger Robbie Ray fan I say good day Dontzig, I say good day Dontzig! Sorry cous, it ain't gonna happen Why does this keep happening to me? Ϊʲô oh let's face it, what men want, you ain't got! That's just not fair I know I know, come on I'll get you an ice cream, get a little meat on these bones oh my gosh, Jackson it's beautiful! It's my size, it's my taste, it's Mine! I bought this 2 weeks ago! Do you like it? Well of course I do! Then I believe the words you looking for are thank you jackson, this is so cute, where did you get it? Jackson the same place he got mine, a nice little boutique I like to call Miley's closet! Hey I love that place! But I can never afford it! I'm kind of afraid to open mine come on hold on everybody christmas ain't about the gifts Ê¥ it's about family friends celebrating all the little special moments that make up everyday life that's beautiful daddy, merry christmas ˵ merry christmas darling Ê¥ you got us gift cards again didn't you? In my defense I'll have you know that your mother always did the shop and I was a little busy setting up this fantastic tree! Uh oh fantastic Ì«
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