Hannah Montana s03e20 Episode Script
I Honestly Love You (No, Not You)
This is so cool! First we get flown to a film festival, and now they shut down the whole mountain for celebs and their peeps.
Eeep, I love being a peep! OK, new rule.
No rhymes! Hey, here comes Ryan Sheckler.
How do you know? The helmet and googles cannot hide those powdy lips.
Look at him! Nope, nope, sorry, now that I am with Oliver my heart only skips for one cutie's lips.
OK, now you've rhymed and made me sick, all at the same time.
Hey, you're just jealous 'cause I got the coolest guy on the mountain! Hey, ski bunny! Argh! Argh! Snow snow in my pants! Yep.
He's a keeper.
Are you OK, my fresh, frozen Ollie-Pop? I wouldn't say no to a little warm-up hug.
OK, I'm gonna go before I hurl barf cubes! Hey, Ryan, wait up! If you like Colorado you're gonna love Montana! Broke a nail I'm OK! You get the limo out front.
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
Yea when your famous it can be kinda fun.
It's really you but no one ever discovers.
Who would've thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds.
Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together and you know that It's the best of both worlds.
Hannah Montana S03E20 I Honestly Love You (No, Not You) I can't believe after that fall all she broke was her ankle.
That's a sack, yes, eat turf Romo.
I should've just left you at home with a bowl of kibble and a dish of water.
What did the Doctor say? He said the surgery went great.
Anesthesia should wear off in a couple of hours.
I mean, this is the longest I can remember her not talking.
It's so nice! I mean, she looks so peaceful when she's sleeping.
I apologize for my boyfriend, Mr Stewart, he is a work in progress.
Go L-train go Yeah, I know what you mean, he's a work in no, he's just a piece of work! Oh no, we can't have this many people in the room, one at a time please.
Oh, OK, sorry doctor.
Oh, I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse.
Nurse! -Something amusing you? -No, sir.
Ya' darn two Nursing is a very noble profession for anyone.
III couldn't agree more.
In fact, I was thinking of pursuing a career in the nursial arts.
-Who wants to go the cafeteria? -I want to, I wanna leave.
Bigger than my garage! Tell me about it! And where do you find a size twenty-two nursing shoe? OK, if you guys don't get out of here, I think you all know where you're going to find that shoe! Yeah! Go Looks like she's doing just fine.
Thank you.
And, sorry about my son.
You know, you could've just left him home with some kibble and water.
Tell me about it.
You listen here baby girl, this smiling face is gonna be the first thing you see when you wake up.
Oh man! What I wouldn't give for a cattle prod right now.
Wait a minute, how can I hear if I'm still asleep? Oh, I saw this in a Kate Hudson movie! Her doctor said it was totally rare, but while the anesthesia was wearing off, she could hear stuff.
And then this happened! She imagined herself outside of her body! So cool! And that is so loud! Yo, daddy, I'm trying to sleep over there.
Wake up! Dang it! In the movie, Kate Hudson gets a marriage proposal from Ashton Kutcher.
And I get a headache from a wheezy hillbilly honker! Hey dad! Dad! Cafeteria's got pie.
Pie? I heard pie! Hey Jackson, I'm just gonna run down to cafeteria for a bit.
Pie! I mean, bye.
I never thought I would say this, but, thank you Jackson! The only thing worse than the sound of dad's snoring is Go L-train go the sound of you watching football! Touchdown! Whoa!!! Could you be any more insensitive? Yeah, woah!! Apparently yes.
Stupid commercials.
What is wrong with this remote? It's in the hands of a bozo! Hey Jackson, what happened! The Titan's just lost a fumble.
I'm talking about Miley! Ha? How'd that happen? Bozo! That's what I said.
Hey, argh, why don't you make yourself useful and go down to the cafeteria and throw yourself between your dad and the blueberry pie.
Hey, squirt.
That might work on your boyfriend but not on a high school graduate.
Oh, well, why don't I tell your dad how a high school graduate turned his helpless daughter into an accordion.
Fine.
But FYI, he doesn't even like blueberries.
He's probably already scarfed down the apple, pumpkin and banana cream.
Yeah, well he already scarfed down the apple, pumpkin and banana cream.
Do I know my daddy or what? Yeah! Great.
The last time I got between my dad and his pie, I almost lost a finger! sure he apologized afterwards, but I'll never forgot that crazed look on his face.
My pie! My pie! Oh, your skin looks so dry! Nothing a little lotion can't fix.
Finally.
Someone to treat me with a little tenderness.
Go ahead, Lilly.
I'll put myself in your loving, capable hands.
Oh, Lilly! You're the best friend a girl could ever have.
In fact, I just wrote a song for you.
Lily is perfect! She's cute and she works it! She's perfectly perfect and perfectly cute! Next time you spend the night at my house, pickle relish is so going in your bra! Hey, Lilypop.
How's she doing? Oh, she's good.
She's still sleeping, but look what I can make her do.
Oh, Oliver, you're so lucky to have a girlfriend as cute as Lilly! Come on Lilly, that's not funny.
Thank you, Oliver.
This is funny! Pig nose! You bad boy.
Where's a good snot rocket when I need one? Argh, you know what, I think I'm gonna wash this stuff off my hands.
OK.
I'll miss you! I'll miss you more! Oh, hey, I've got an idea.
Go with her! You know, it's really nice to hug in front of Miley without hearing blah.
Blah! Alright Oken, I may be out cold but if you put your fingers anywhere near my nose, I will wake up just to bite you! OK.
Here we go.
I felt this long enough.
Oh, man! Can't you just wait 'til you get in the hallway? Whoa.
It is harder than I thought.
You're really upset about something.
I don't think I can do this.
Sure you can.
We're buds, you can tell me anything.
Come on, Oliver! I mean, just say it.
Say it! I love you.
Now you see, that wasn't so best friend's boyfriend say what? I really do.
Nooo! You can't! You're dating Lilly! It'll break her heart.
Yeah, like I'm ever really gonna have the guts to say that.
Did you miss me! Argh, you know I did! You're my little Lillypop.
And you're a little lying poop! Unbelievable, I'm so mad I could spit.
If cracker doesn't give me such bad cotton mouth.
See? Nothing.
Honey, will you stop pacing and put your leg up? The doctor said you're supposed to keep it elevated.
There, problem solved.
Oh wait, it's not! How can Oliver say that he loves me when he's dating Lilly? What can you blame him? I mean, minus the sass, you are adorable Oh come on, I am not OK, maybe a little.
But, Lilly's my best friend.
Now wait a second here, you weren't even awake yet.
.
Maybe you dreamed of this whole thing.
Oh, so now I'm not adorable? Fine, but I'm still sassing.
And I do not think I was asleep when you were over there snoring like a grizzly with a head cold.
Then in the cafeteria cleaning out pies.
Oh my good, you did hear everything, didn't you? Hey, this is just like that Kate Hudson movie.
Thank you.
What's so funny? It's just in the movie, she got Ashton Kutcher and You got Oliver.
Ha you're right, that is funny.
Oopsies.
I don't wanna be in a duel.
Why do you have to do anything? Because, I can't let Lilly date Oliver knowing he's in love with me.
This stinks.
You know back when I was a boy Oh no, haven't I suffered enough.
.
Now hold on baby doll, this one's got a point.
When I was 16 years old, I was crazy about Gabriella Gaffe.
Woo she was all that something Until I met Heather Whip Oh man, she was something Alright, get the point was to completely creep me out, mission accomplished! Oh honey what I am saying is that you know One time Oliver thought he loved Lilly now he don't And who knows, she might change her mind too.
By the middle of next week she might be all googoo over Hottie Lomatie with the swimmer's body.
What? Like I can't hear you in there flapping your jaws on the phone all night long? You're right, I gotta wait, till Lilly moves on to someone else.
I don't have to tell her anything.
That's all you can do.
But wait, what about what about Oliver being in love with me? I still have to deal with that, don't I? Oh he might change his mind on that by next week.
Oh great, so now my adorable has an expiration date? Why did I have to open that door? Hey Miley, picked up your favorite ice cream 'Cause I figured it might make you feel better while you're shut in the house all day Although I don't know how you can eat double double white chocolate chip I mean it's so rich but as long as you like it, I mean, that's all it matters.
There you go Oh great, my favorite.
Soggy cardboard and Lilly hair What did you do? Stick your head in there? I'm sorry, it's just that I'm totally nervous I'm getting together with Oliver tonight.
And there's something I need to tell him.
You do? Yeah, but I don't know what he's gonna do when I say it.
Oh go ahead, so you've moved on I'm sure Oliver will be fine.
Moved on? Where did you get that? I'm gonna tell him I love him.
Looks like I can finally spit.
Tell Oliver you love him? You can't do that! Why? Because the girls should never say it first! It's against the rules! Can't give a boy that kind of power.
You do that, you'll set back the women's movement 50 years! And I'm 2 years away from voting.
And you will not take that away from me! But I do love him.
Yeah, and I love peanut butter.
But you don't see me making a fool of myself in front of a jar of extra chunky.
Well I don't care I love him and I'm gonna tell him What if he doesn't love you back? What if he's in love with someone else because they're I don't know adorable or something.
I am tired, gotta go take a nap, see ya.
You know something I don't? How would I know anything? I was in the hospital, out cold! It's not like I can hear things like that totally unrealistic Kate Hudson movie.
You know what, I am tired, gotta go to bed, night night.
Miley, I know how he feels.
I can tell by the way he looks at me.
Even when I have a pimple.
I never told you this but That's why he calls me Lillypop.
I could've gone my whole life not knowing that.
I'm gonna go get ready.
Oh oh, can I borrow your never-smudge lipstick? I think it might come in handy, if you know what I mean.
You might wanna borrow my water proof mascara instead.
Right, cause I'll be so happy I'll cry You're half right.
What do you mean? Well I can pretty much guarantee crying it's just The happy I'm not so sure about.
Lilly, I didn't wanna tell you this before but He doesn't love you.
Of course he does No, he doesn't.
Remember when I was in the hospital and Everybody thought I couldn't hear? Well I could and, I heard him say that he doesn't love you.
He doesn't love me? Sorry, Lilly.
No, Miley, you had to be dreaming.
If I was dreaming would I've heard this? Lily is perfect! She's cute and she works it! Oh no! It's okay, go ahead and cry.
Here you go, got you another box.
Here, use this cold pack OK, no sense in wastin' it.
There.
Gosh Lilly, if I would've known you're gonna cry this much I would've built a boat.
I'm sorry, I think I'm done.
Good, 'cuz you know what, Oliver is not worth it.
-Oliver!! -Oh sweet niblets.
Oh no, poor Lilly.
You told her Oliver was in love with you? In love with you?! No, I cleverly avoided that, until now! Beep! Ah, I think I'm getting a fax, I'd better go check.
Beep! Eh, hope I got enough paper in there, see you.
How could you?! Lilly, I swear I had nothing to do with it! I'm adorable! It's a gift and a curse.
And the important thing is: I don't feel the same way.
Really? Of course not.
In fact, Right now I hate him as much as you do.
That miserable slimy Miley-loving weasel.
Stringing me along, he never even loved me.
Oh I wish I could get him back! You can, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna fix you all up, then take you down to the beach.
And get a picture of you with a cute guy, send it to Oliver.
So he knows that you're over it, and you never even loved him.
But I did!! Lilly please, if you gonna waste this much water, Just go cry over my plants.
OK.
Stop crying, you're gonna ruin your make up.
OK, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'll stop.
How do I look? Zip it Jackson, you look great.
Yeah, if you like circus clowns.
No honey, you have inner beauty.
Now let's find you a hunk with a big heart, and bad eyes ok.
Sit here, let's see what we're working with Hello.
Goodbye.
Woo, hubba hubba.
Did you find somebody? Not really your type.
Bingo, cute but, I can live without him.
Alright now you stay here and try Try to put some of your inner beauty onto the outside.
-OK? -OK.
How's this? I got two words for ya: paper bag.
Yeah, look who's talking.
I remember your last girlfriend, The date went great until the dog catcher showed up.
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Hey, how's it going? Good, what happened to your leg? I'm not really in the mood for sweet talk.
You a good kisser? I guess so.
But shouldn't we get to know each other first? I'm Gil.
I'm actually talking about my friend over there.
The circus clown? She is not a Yes, a circus clown.
I don't think so.
What's up guys? I'll give you 20 bucks.
Can I just shake her hands? -25.
-Deal.
OK, Gil Lil Lil Gil Let's do this thing.
I don't think I can do it, Miley.
Guy doesn't love you at 2 o'clock.
OK OK.
I can close my eyes, right? Just do it! What the? Yep, that's right! She's kissing someone else.
She has moved on.
You cannot hurt her anymore.
Hurt her? Miley what are you talking about? I love her.
-You do? -You do? Yeah, I mean I did until you were inches away from kissing another guy.
Then why do you say you love me? I never said that.
I still get paid either way, right? -You paid him? -Not important.
What is important, is that while I was sleeping in the hospital, You said that you love me! No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did! -She heard you! She heard Oh! No, I wasn't saying it to Miley, I was practicing to say it to you.
-To me? -To her? Yeah, it's not easy saying "I love you" if you've never said it to a girl before.
Oh! I love you too, Olliepop.
This isn't exactly how I wanted to tell you.
This isn't exactly how I wanted to look when you did.
You look beautiful.
I'm not gonna get paid, am I? Please, everyone knows you can't clean the cash unless you kiss the clown.
Hey, how about that? Happy ending.
That's what all really matters.
Well I better get going, go get this leg up.
Miley.
You almost broke us up.
True, but see, all because of this totally innocent misunderstanding.
You guys finally said "I love you" to each other.
So I think the words you're looking for are "Thank you".
To which I reply "You're welcome".
Miley, if we weren't so incredibly happy You'll be in so much trouble right now.
But you are.
And I'v never been so happy to be wrong.
I can't believe you thought I was in love with you.
I can't believe I thought you were in love with her.
OK guys, it's not that funny I mean, Look at me, I'm adorable.
It's true, my daddy said so.
This is so cool, it's like that Kate Hudson movie.
My boy.
Oh look at me, I'm Robby Ray Stewart And I jogged all the way to the mailbox So now I can have pie.
Dangflabit, Jackon ate my pie.
Dangflabit, Jackon ate my pie.
And it was good.
That tears it, that boy's gonna pay.
Pay? What do you mean pay? Hey what are you doing with whipped cream? And the jelly Come on man, I'm sleeping.
Hey buddy, wake up! Wake up and defend yourself! I can't watch this.
Oh yeah, very nice.
Yee doggies! Real mature, so proud to call you my dad! Wa ha, the master piece.
It's very funny, too bad you're the only one who 's ever gonna see it.
Oh no, no no no! Now you got next year's Chrstmas card! Please please please let this be a dream!
Eeep, I love being a peep! OK, new rule.
No rhymes! Hey, here comes Ryan Sheckler.
How do you know? The helmet and googles cannot hide those powdy lips.
Look at him! Nope, nope, sorry, now that I am with Oliver my heart only skips for one cutie's lips.
OK, now you've rhymed and made me sick, all at the same time.
Hey, you're just jealous 'cause I got the coolest guy on the mountain! Hey, ski bunny! Argh! Argh! Snow snow in my pants! Yep.
He's a keeper.
Are you OK, my fresh, frozen Ollie-Pop? I wouldn't say no to a little warm-up hug.
OK, I'm gonna go before I hurl barf cubes! Hey, Ryan, wait up! If you like Colorado you're gonna love Montana! Broke a nail I'm OK! You get the limo out front.
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
Yea when your famous it can be kinda fun.
It's really you but no one ever discovers.
Who would've thought that a girl like me Would double as a superstar? You get the best of both worlds.
Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together and you know that It's the best of both worlds.
Hannah Montana S03E20 I Honestly Love You (No, Not You) I can't believe after that fall all she broke was her ankle.
That's a sack, yes, eat turf Romo.
I should've just left you at home with a bowl of kibble and a dish of water.
What did the Doctor say? He said the surgery went great.
Anesthesia should wear off in a couple of hours.
I mean, this is the longest I can remember her not talking.
It's so nice! I mean, she looks so peaceful when she's sleeping.
I apologize for my boyfriend, Mr Stewart, he is a work in progress.
Go L-train go Yeah, I know what you mean, he's a work in no, he's just a piece of work! Oh no, we can't have this many people in the room, one at a time please.
Oh, OK, sorry doctor.
Oh, I'm not a doctor, I'm a nurse.
Nurse! -Something amusing you? -No, sir.
Ya' darn two Nursing is a very noble profession for anyone.
III couldn't agree more.
In fact, I was thinking of pursuing a career in the nursial arts.
-Who wants to go the cafeteria? -I want to, I wanna leave.
Bigger than my garage! Tell me about it! And where do you find a size twenty-two nursing shoe? OK, if you guys don't get out of here, I think you all know where you're going to find that shoe! Yeah! Go Looks like she's doing just fine.
Thank you.
And, sorry about my son.
You know, you could've just left him home with some kibble and water.
Tell me about it.
You listen here baby girl, this smiling face is gonna be the first thing you see when you wake up.
Oh man! What I wouldn't give for a cattle prod right now.
Wait a minute, how can I hear if I'm still asleep? Oh, I saw this in a Kate Hudson movie! Her doctor said it was totally rare, but while the anesthesia was wearing off, she could hear stuff.
And then this happened! She imagined herself outside of her body! So cool! And that is so loud! Yo, daddy, I'm trying to sleep over there.
Wake up! Dang it! In the movie, Kate Hudson gets a marriage proposal from Ashton Kutcher.
And I get a headache from a wheezy hillbilly honker! Hey dad! Dad! Cafeteria's got pie.
Pie? I heard pie! Hey Jackson, I'm just gonna run down to cafeteria for a bit.
Pie! I mean, bye.
I never thought I would say this, but, thank you Jackson! The only thing worse than the sound of dad's snoring is Go L-train go the sound of you watching football! Touchdown! Whoa!!! Could you be any more insensitive? Yeah, woah!! Apparently yes.
Stupid commercials.
What is wrong with this remote? It's in the hands of a bozo! Hey Jackson, what happened! The Titan's just lost a fumble.
I'm talking about Miley! Ha? How'd that happen? Bozo! That's what I said.
Hey, argh, why don't you make yourself useful and go down to the cafeteria and throw yourself between your dad and the blueberry pie.
Hey, squirt.
That might work on your boyfriend but not on a high school graduate.
Oh, well, why don't I tell your dad how a high school graduate turned his helpless daughter into an accordion.
Fine.
But FYI, he doesn't even like blueberries.
He's probably already scarfed down the apple, pumpkin and banana cream.
Yeah, well he already scarfed down the apple, pumpkin and banana cream.
Do I know my daddy or what? Yeah! Great.
The last time I got between my dad and his pie, I almost lost a finger! sure he apologized afterwards, but I'll never forgot that crazed look on his face.
My pie! My pie! Oh, your skin looks so dry! Nothing a little lotion can't fix.
Finally.
Someone to treat me with a little tenderness.
Go ahead, Lilly.
I'll put myself in your loving, capable hands.
Oh, Lilly! You're the best friend a girl could ever have.
In fact, I just wrote a song for you.
Lily is perfect! She's cute and she works it! She's perfectly perfect and perfectly cute! Next time you spend the night at my house, pickle relish is so going in your bra! Hey, Lilypop.
How's she doing? Oh, she's good.
She's still sleeping, but look what I can make her do.
Oh, Oliver, you're so lucky to have a girlfriend as cute as Lilly! Come on Lilly, that's not funny.
Thank you, Oliver.
This is funny! Pig nose! You bad boy.
Where's a good snot rocket when I need one? Argh, you know what, I think I'm gonna wash this stuff off my hands.
OK.
I'll miss you! I'll miss you more! Oh, hey, I've got an idea.
Go with her! You know, it's really nice to hug in front of Miley without hearing blah.
Blah! Alright Oken, I may be out cold but if you put your fingers anywhere near my nose, I will wake up just to bite you! OK.
Here we go.
I felt this long enough.
Oh, man! Can't you just wait 'til you get in the hallway? Whoa.
It is harder than I thought.
You're really upset about something.
I don't think I can do this.
Sure you can.
We're buds, you can tell me anything.
Come on, Oliver! I mean, just say it.
Say it! I love you.
Now you see, that wasn't so best friend's boyfriend say what? I really do.
Nooo! You can't! You're dating Lilly! It'll break her heart.
Yeah, like I'm ever really gonna have the guts to say that.
Did you miss me! Argh, you know I did! You're my little Lillypop.
And you're a little lying poop! Unbelievable, I'm so mad I could spit.
If cracker doesn't give me such bad cotton mouth.
See? Nothing.
Honey, will you stop pacing and put your leg up? The doctor said you're supposed to keep it elevated.
There, problem solved.
Oh wait, it's not! How can Oliver say that he loves me when he's dating Lilly? What can you blame him? I mean, minus the sass, you are adorable Oh come on, I am not OK, maybe a little.
But, Lilly's my best friend.
Now wait a second here, you weren't even awake yet.
.
Maybe you dreamed of this whole thing.
Oh, so now I'm not adorable? Fine, but I'm still sassing.
And I do not think I was asleep when you were over there snoring like a grizzly with a head cold.
Then in the cafeteria cleaning out pies.
Oh my good, you did hear everything, didn't you? Hey, this is just like that Kate Hudson movie.
Thank you.
What's so funny? It's just in the movie, she got Ashton Kutcher and You got Oliver.
Ha you're right, that is funny.
Oopsies.
I don't wanna be in a duel.
Why do you have to do anything? Because, I can't let Lilly date Oliver knowing he's in love with me.
This stinks.
You know back when I was a boy Oh no, haven't I suffered enough.
.
Now hold on baby doll, this one's got a point.
When I was 16 years old, I was crazy about Gabriella Gaffe.
Woo she was all that something Until I met Heather Whip Oh man, she was something Alright, get the point was to completely creep me out, mission accomplished! Oh honey what I am saying is that you know One time Oliver thought he loved Lilly now he don't And who knows, she might change her mind too.
By the middle of next week she might be all googoo over Hottie Lomatie with the swimmer's body.
What? Like I can't hear you in there flapping your jaws on the phone all night long? You're right, I gotta wait, till Lilly moves on to someone else.
I don't have to tell her anything.
That's all you can do.
But wait, what about what about Oliver being in love with me? I still have to deal with that, don't I? Oh he might change his mind on that by next week.
Oh great, so now my adorable has an expiration date? Why did I have to open that door? Hey Miley, picked up your favorite ice cream 'Cause I figured it might make you feel better while you're shut in the house all day Although I don't know how you can eat double double white chocolate chip I mean it's so rich but as long as you like it, I mean, that's all it matters.
There you go Oh great, my favorite.
Soggy cardboard and Lilly hair What did you do? Stick your head in there? I'm sorry, it's just that I'm totally nervous I'm getting together with Oliver tonight.
And there's something I need to tell him.
You do? Yeah, but I don't know what he's gonna do when I say it.
Oh go ahead, so you've moved on I'm sure Oliver will be fine.
Moved on? Where did you get that? I'm gonna tell him I love him.
Looks like I can finally spit.
Tell Oliver you love him? You can't do that! Why? Because the girls should never say it first! It's against the rules! Can't give a boy that kind of power.
You do that, you'll set back the women's movement 50 years! And I'm 2 years away from voting.
And you will not take that away from me! But I do love him.
Yeah, and I love peanut butter.
But you don't see me making a fool of myself in front of a jar of extra chunky.
Well I don't care I love him and I'm gonna tell him What if he doesn't love you back? What if he's in love with someone else because they're I don't know adorable or something.
I am tired, gotta go take a nap, see ya.
You know something I don't? How would I know anything? I was in the hospital, out cold! It's not like I can hear things like that totally unrealistic Kate Hudson movie.
You know what, I am tired, gotta go to bed, night night.
Miley, I know how he feels.
I can tell by the way he looks at me.
Even when I have a pimple.
I never told you this but That's why he calls me Lillypop.
I could've gone my whole life not knowing that.
I'm gonna go get ready.
Oh oh, can I borrow your never-smudge lipstick? I think it might come in handy, if you know what I mean.
You might wanna borrow my water proof mascara instead.
Right, cause I'll be so happy I'll cry You're half right.
What do you mean? Well I can pretty much guarantee crying it's just The happy I'm not so sure about.
Lilly, I didn't wanna tell you this before but He doesn't love you.
Of course he does No, he doesn't.
Remember when I was in the hospital and Everybody thought I couldn't hear? Well I could and, I heard him say that he doesn't love you.
He doesn't love me? Sorry, Lilly.
No, Miley, you had to be dreaming.
If I was dreaming would I've heard this? Lily is perfect! She's cute and she works it! Oh no! It's okay, go ahead and cry.
Here you go, got you another box.
Here, use this cold pack OK, no sense in wastin' it.
There.
Gosh Lilly, if I would've known you're gonna cry this much I would've built a boat.
I'm sorry, I think I'm done.
Good, 'cuz you know what, Oliver is not worth it.
-Oliver!! -Oh sweet niblets.
Oh no, poor Lilly.
You told her Oliver was in love with you? In love with you?! No, I cleverly avoided that, until now! Beep! Ah, I think I'm getting a fax, I'd better go check.
Beep! Eh, hope I got enough paper in there, see you.
How could you?! Lilly, I swear I had nothing to do with it! I'm adorable! It's a gift and a curse.
And the important thing is: I don't feel the same way.
Really? Of course not.
In fact, Right now I hate him as much as you do.
That miserable slimy Miley-loving weasel.
Stringing me along, he never even loved me.
Oh I wish I could get him back! You can, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna fix you all up, then take you down to the beach.
And get a picture of you with a cute guy, send it to Oliver.
So he knows that you're over it, and you never even loved him.
But I did!! Lilly please, if you gonna waste this much water, Just go cry over my plants.
OK.
Stop crying, you're gonna ruin your make up.
OK, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'll stop.
How do I look? Zip it Jackson, you look great.
Yeah, if you like circus clowns.
No honey, you have inner beauty.
Now let's find you a hunk with a big heart, and bad eyes ok.
Sit here, let's see what we're working with Hello.
Goodbye.
Woo, hubba hubba.
Did you find somebody? Not really your type.
Bingo, cute but, I can live without him.
Alright now you stay here and try Try to put some of your inner beauty onto the outside.
-OK? -OK.
How's this? I got two words for ya: paper bag.
Yeah, look who's talking.
I remember your last girlfriend, The date went great until the dog catcher showed up.
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Hey, how's it going? Good, what happened to your leg? I'm not really in the mood for sweet talk.
You a good kisser? I guess so.
But shouldn't we get to know each other first? I'm Gil.
I'm actually talking about my friend over there.
The circus clown? She is not a Yes, a circus clown.
I don't think so.
What's up guys? I'll give you 20 bucks.
Can I just shake her hands? -25.
-Deal.
OK, Gil Lil Lil Gil Let's do this thing.
I don't think I can do it, Miley.
Guy doesn't love you at 2 o'clock.
OK OK.
I can close my eyes, right? Just do it! What the? Yep, that's right! She's kissing someone else.
She has moved on.
You cannot hurt her anymore.
Hurt her? Miley what are you talking about? I love her.
-You do? -You do? Yeah, I mean I did until you were inches away from kissing another guy.
Then why do you say you love me? I never said that.
I still get paid either way, right? -You paid him? -Not important.
What is important, is that while I was sleeping in the hospital, You said that you love me! No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did! -She heard you! She heard Oh! No, I wasn't saying it to Miley, I was practicing to say it to you.
-To me? -To her? Yeah, it's not easy saying "I love you" if you've never said it to a girl before.
Oh! I love you too, Olliepop.
This isn't exactly how I wanted to tell you.
This isn't exactly how I wanted to look when you did.
You look beautiful.
I'm not gonna get paid, am I? Please, everyone knows you can't clean the cash unless you kiss the clown.
Hey, how about that? Happy ending.
That's what all really matters.
Well I better get going, go get this leg up.
Miley.
You almost broke us up.
True, but see, all because of this totally innocent misunderstanding.
You guys finally said "I love you" to each other.
So I think the words you're looking for are "Thank you".
To which I reply "You're welcome".
Miley, if we weren't so incredibly happy You'll be in so much trouble right now.
But you are.
And I'v never been so happy to be wrong.
I can't believe you thought I was in love with you.
I can't believe I thought you were in love with her.
OK guys, it's not that funny I mean, Look at me, I'm adorable.
It's true, my daddy said so.
This is so cool, it's like that Kate Hudson movie.
My boy.
Oh look at me, I'm Robby Ray Stewart And I jogged all the way to the mailbox So now I can have pie.
Dangflabit, Jackon ate my pie.
Dangflabit, Jackon ate my pie.
And it was good.
That tears it, that boy's gonna pay.
Pay? What do you mean pay? Hey what are you doing with whipped cream? And the jelly Come on man, I'm sleeping.
Hey buddy, wake up! Wake up and defend yourself! I can't watch this.
Oh yeah, very nice.
Yee doggies! Real mature, so proud to call you my dad! Wa ha, the master piece.
It's very funny, too bad you're the only one who 's ever gonna see it.
Oh no, no no no! Now you got next year's Chrstmas card! Please please please let this be a dream!