Hannah Montana s04e08 Episode Script

Hannah's Gonna Get This

que sera, sera whatever comes I'll be ok whatever life throws my way you wish I'd hurt but I'm free as a bird and I'm happier now ah que sera, sera ah que sera .
So, what'd you think? What do I think? What do I think? I think I love it! - Yes! - Of course you do.
It's wonderful! Just like the other eight songs my baby girl.
- Wrote for this album.
- Dad.
You wrote nine songs by yourself for this album.
My baby girl wrote nine songs all by herself.
- Dad.
- Hannah, it's all right.
He's proud of you.
I'm betting you saved a lock from her first haircut.
As a matter of fact, I did.
I made a handy little key chain out of it.
I tell people it's a rabbit's foot, 'cause I don't want nobody to think I'm weird.
Yeah, you don't wanna know what he did with my first diaper.
No, I don't, and now I'm rather wishing I hadn't ordered the turkey chili for lunch.
- I'll tell you who makes a great turkey chili.
- Let me guess.
- this girl.
- Oh, stop it.
A little dark chocolate and a slow simmer.
It's amazing.
Sounds delish, fantastic, can't wait to try it.
I need one more song.
- What? - Your nine songs, all great.
But the new taylor swift album.
Has nine songs and a bonus track.
I need one more song by Friday.
- Friday? - That's not gonna be a problem, is it? The only problem we're gonna have is figuring out which one.
Of the 100 songs up here I'm gonna let you make a hit out of.
- Then I'll have it by Friday! - Absolutely! Great! - So you got nothing? - No.
I've got absolutely nothing! Whoo! Here we go, everybody! come on you get the limo out front oooh hottest styles every shoe, every color yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun it's really you but no one ever discovers who would have thought that a girl like me would double as a superstar .
Whooo! you get the best of both worlds chill it out take it slow then you rock out the show you get the best of both worlds mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds yeah, yeah .
That's good.
That works.
- Hey, how's it going? - Good.
I'm almost done.
It's like it's writing itself.
Here you go, check it out.
"thank you, grammy voters.
Record of the year, I can't believe it.
I had nothing prepared.
" Oh, yeah.
And I can cry like that.
Watch.
Lady gaga, beyonce.
I can't believe I'm even in the same category as you.
Yeah, it's incredibly moving.
Now all you need is a song.
Have one of those? Well, if you call three verses, a bridge and a monster hook a song, then yes, I do.
you're the boy I'd like for me you're the boy who sets me free I found the real mccoy my perfect, perfect boy I love it! Almost as much as I did two years ago when it went platinum as - super, super girl - Ooh, I knew it sounded familiar.
Ok, how about this? somebody just walked by somebody caught my eye the boy is super fine I wanna make him mine everybody knows he's fine .
Nobody's perfect, number one, six weeks, 2008.
If we were a movie, number one, eight weeks, 2007.
he was the best of both boys - Nope.
- Dang it! hey, yeah whoa, whoa .
Hey, dad, I'm taking siena to breakfast and I'm a little short.
Well, if it doesn't bother her, it doesn't bother me.
A little louder, dad.
I don't think mom heard you.
In heaven.
Ok, all right, all right.
How much for the insensitive yet dang funny joke? Uh, 20 bucks? - I reckon.
There you go.
- Thank you.
How much if I answer the door? I'm not paying you to answer the door.
Fine.
it's open! Hey-o! Just wondering if you had an extra mustache comb I could borrow.
Sorry, antonio bandorkus, I don't own a mustache comb.
I'm not talking to you, you hairless wonder.
This is man stuff.
So, robert, Got an extra stash sweeper layin' around? No, but I do have a fly swatter.
I didn't ask for a fly swatter.
And I didn't ask you to be in my house.
Oh, robert.
I love our manly mustachio'd repartee.
Son, you call me robert one more time It's ok, dad.
I got this.
Ow! Not the stache! Not the stache! You're just jealous, because you can't grow one.
I could grow one any time I want.
That's a bald-faced lie coming from a bald-faced guy.
And that's a bad rhyme-y joke from a sad slimy I can too grow a mustache! - I would've gone with "bloke.
" - Thanks for the help, robert.
every morning I wake up to find I always dream the same every night I come to my window so tired of the same old game with no one else to blame .
No.
when you call my name - So you like it, mile? - I do.
So, dad, I really like that song you're writing.
Funny thing is, is I'm writing one just like it.
- Is that right? - Yup-see-daisy.
So, dad, could you just go over the lyrics and let me know the melody, So you know, you don't keep writing the same song that I'm writing.
Don't wanna waste your time.
Just sing clearly, call out the chords as you play them.
And from "call my name," go.
And no.
Mile, I know you're blocked, but sometimes the best songs come out of that.
You just gotta work your way through it, that's all.
But, dad, I've been working on this song for three days.
And all I've got is a room filled with crumpled paper so deep I think I lost lilly in it.
See? I've got bits and pieces of lyrics and melodies, Like, "perfect boy, real mccoy," but I just can't put them together.
Can't I just borrow one of your songs? And pass if off as one of your own? Oh, no! I would put a little "special thanks to robby ray" Right under the bar code where everybody can see it.
- So, what do you say? - I say you know deep down inside.
That wouldn't be right if I finished the song for you.
I can live with that.
Oh, come on, dad! Can't you just let me do something wrong for once? Then I could learn and I could grow.
And I could be a better person! Nothing.
I wonder if papa gaga has to go through this.
Son, how is that supposed to help you grow a mustache? I read on the internet it stimulates the hair follicles.
- Is it working? - No, but it's only been two hours.
Son, that's as stupid as when uncle earl tried to grow his hair back.
- By using that honey rub.
- Honey rub? Please! I'm not that dumb.
Hey, whatever you're doing, it seems to be working.
That thing's coming in pretty dang bushy.
Once again, Thanks for the help, robert.
ooh, ah .
Miley, you've been walled up in here for almost a week.
You have to get out, feel the sun on your face.
It burns, it burns! Oh! So do my eyes! When's the last time you used a toothbrush? I can't write one more song, lilly.
I don't deserve a toothbrush.
- I'm hopeless! - Oh! Seriously, mouthwash, a breath mint, dog poop, Anything's an improvement! Look, you've just gotta free your head up, ok? Tell you what, we'll take a drive down to the pier.
With the top down and your mouth open.
No.
That way.
You just gotta air that thing out.
Not that way.
oh, oh, ah .
Now, isn't this great? Don't you just feel so much better? Yeah, terrific.
I'm out of time, I'm out of ideas.
Curse you, taylor swift, and your stupid bonus track! Uh, she just hates bonus tracks.
It's not like she's a pop star or anything.
Move along.
I've only got 24 hours to write another song.
I'm never gonna get this.
Never gonna get this.
tonight gonna get this tonight we're gonna get this tonight, we're gonna get this tonight we're gonna get this we're gonna get this boy, the boy, the boy the honest truth the real mccoy if you're the boy the boy, the boy - then make me feel like a - Stop! I've heard enough.
I love it, love it, love it! It's totally cool, totally different.
And totally wrong for you! Uh, producer who don't have to ride home with her, say what? How can you "love it, love it, love it" and not want to use it, use it, use it? - Yeah! - Yeah! Yeah! It felt like it needed three.
You know, quinn, I've always respected your opinion, But I gotta be honest with you.
You're dead wrong on this one, son.
I guarantee you this song is a big hit.
I don't disagree, just not with her.
That's not the sound her audience expects from hannah montana.
Look! Love you and I love this song.
They just don't belong together, rather like my parents.
Leaving her when I was 38 was the greatest decision I ever made.
- I'm sorry, quinn, but I don't agree with you.
- No, really, it was.
- I mean, my mum's a great cook, but the yelling - I'm not talking about you! Listen, I know my fans, And I know they'd love me to sing this song.
Ok.
Tell you what.
You think you're right, I think I'm right.
There's only one way to decide this.
- Defer to the artist.
- Ladies choice.
- Rock, paper, scissors? - No, no and Yes.
- Really? - No! We'll have a focus group.
We bring in ten randomly selected hannah montana fans.
And if more than half of them like the song, Then you have your bonus track.
No, no, no, no.
That's a terrible idea.
One stupid focus group.
Was all it took to sink my robby ray raps record.
Who says a hillbilly can't bust a rhyme? I seem to remember it was 96 out of 100.
Yeah, but the other four thought I was funkalicious Dad, that's not gonna happen with this one.
I believe in the song and I trust in my fans.
- You are on! - Oh, oh, oh hey, yeah crazy good time yeah, the time of our lives oh, are you the boy the boy, the boy .
Ooh, I'm loving pink sweater girl.
She knows a good song when she hears it.
Yeah.
See? Somebody's not afraid to let an artist grow.
I mean, clearly my audience is wise beyond their years.
Hey! Get your finger outta your nose! You're ruining your credibility! - everybody - Yo, sour puss! You better be blockin' a burrito belch.
And not making that face at my daughter's music! Ok, now, you've heard the song.
I want to ask you some questions.
I want your honest opinions.
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers.
- Douglas, what did you think? - I hated it.
Wrong answer! Dad, it's ok.
It's just one kid.
It's gonna be fine.
- I loved it.
- See? - But it's not a hannah montana song.
- Nose picker! Why do you think that is? It's like putting ketchup on your ice cream.
Both are yummy, but eat them together anit makes me wanna barf.
Like this song.
I knew this focus group was a bad idea, but nobody listens to me.
Daddy, stop, you're making me nervous.
I'm sorry, honey.
It's just, I know how hard you worked on this song.
And it's so daggone good.
But you're right.
You're right.
I'm the adult here, and I need to act like the adult.
gonna get this gonna get this .
Oh, let me tell you what I think of your opinion.
And here's what I think of your mama's opinion.
Daddy! I think I need to take a walk.
Take my juice and walk.
Juice, walk.
Wow, gotta love your dad.
I mean, He was so mad, I bet he wanted to dress up like a 12-year-old, Bust in there and convince everybody that he loved the song.
Oh, come on! Hey! Sorry I'm late! But I heard the song in the hall and it's a hannah montana hit! Am I right? Am I right? Heck yeah, I'm right! Ooh, juice box! I like this one.
la, di, di, da dah whoa, yeah .
A little higher.
Right there, right there.
Perfect.
Well, if it isn't unhairy potter.
You got me, rico.
I can't grow a mustache, ok? I'm, uh I'm a baby-faced wimp and you're a whiskered warrior.
So that's it? Total surrender? Not even a patch of mangy cat fur glued to your upper lip? Well, I mean I guess I could give you the speech.
About how growing a mustache doesn't make you a man.
Or how my bikini model girlfriend likes a smooth operator.
But you'd just laugh and do a stupid mustache dance.
You know me so well.
I got a mustache and you don't got one I got a mustache and you don't got one .
So, instead, I thought I'd give you a little sneak peek at your future.
- That's my dad.
- Exactly.
And this is your grandpa.
Oh, no.
And allow me to introduce you to your great-great-great aunt rosa.
Yeah, that's right.
You may be a hair hunk now, But if hair-edity means anything, You're destined to be a butt head for more reasons than one.
No! You know? You're right.
It is better when I fight back.
Ooh! That's not good.
No, no, no ah, dee dee da, da .
So there are five of us who love hannah's song.
And want it on her next record.
Let's call us the team cool kids.
Yeah! Team cool kids rocks! And there are five who lack the imagination.
And taste to appreciate brilliance when they hear it.
- You don't talk like a kid.
- I don't punch like one, either.
All right.
So, cammi, It looks like you are the deciding vote.
So, what do you say? Do you wanna be a part of team cool kids.
Or team So lame they don't have a name? - Hm - Team cool kids, team cool kids! Team cool kids, team cool kids, team cool kids! Team cool kids Oop.
- Who is that? - That is your conscience.
And you should listen to it.
Um Um I I "um, um, I, I," say it! - I choose team lame no name.
- Oh, cammi.
Well, it looks like the final count is six to five.
Or six to four, if you don't count little miss "turn her clothes inside out.
And try to fool the silly record producer.
" And you lost anyway.
Nyeh, nyeh, nyeh! You're right, it does sound better with three.
Not so fast! You guys are so sweet.
Except for you six.
Now, look.
I know change can be scary, but it's a part of growing up.
It's how we find out who we are and who we're gonna be.
Change is exciting and it's fun! Just like this song, and that's why I love it! And you guys should love it, too.
I don't want you to change.
I love you just the way you are.
ooh, ah, ah oh, oh you're the boy the boy, the boy that makes me feel like a movie this boy this boy, this boy .
Maybe they're right, dad.
Maybe this song is just too different for hannah.
I don't know, darlin', any time an artist tries to grow, There's always gonna be people who don't like it.
Just gotta ask yourself, Are you gonna listen to the naysayers or you gonna listen to your heart? Well, when the naysayers are crying seven-year-olds, your heart kinda gets torn.
Well, I'm proud of you, honey, For trying to make all your fans happy.
But since you can't do that, The one that you really need to make happy is you.
If you ain't happy, baby, it ain't worth it.
- Hey, hannah.
- Oh, hey, iyaz.
- You almost finished here? - Yeah, I'm finished.
Sweet.
- Is this you? - Yeah, it's me.
And please don't tell me that you don't like it or I shouldn't be singing it.
Or start crying 'cause you don't want me to change.
Oh, somebody just came from a focus group.
- I was gonna say I loved it.
- Really? Yeah, you sound great.
But if you're bailing, I'd like to buy it from you.
Quinn wants a bonus track on the next album.
- Taylor swift? - I know! Doesn't that girl ever sleep? What about the song? like a movie .
Sorry, but if it's gonna be on anybody's album, it's gonna be on mine.
It's cool.
I really would like to sing it, though.
Maybe you still can.
I can see you hanging out in the courtyard Looking fly and you'r probably coming over I've been checking out your budget and I noticed Oh, oh oh, oh Yeah, I'm thinking it's really nice to meet ya One, two, three, could you smile for a picture? Tonight we gonna get this gonna really live it oh, oh oh, oh somebody just said hannah do you already have a man 'cause I'm smooth like carlos santana well, here we go, boy just crank it up are you the boy the boy, the boy? the honest truth the real mccoy if you're the boy the boy, the boy then make me feel like a movie you the boy the boy, the boy the honest truth the real mccoy If you're the boy the boy, the boy then make me feel like a movie This girl, this girl This girl Can be the one to rock my world So be my girl, my girl My girl And love me just like a movie Everybody Oh, oh, oh, oh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh This boy, this boy This boy Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh Oh, oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh That girl, that girl That girl - This boy - That girl This boy
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