Hap and Leonard (2016) Episode Scripts

N/A - Ticking Mojo

1 (Leonard Pine) Previously on "Hap and Leonard" What the hell is Chester doing with a dead kid's body under his house? - Hey, officer? - Yeah? There's somethin' we should show ya.
(siren wailing) (Leonard) What is wrong with you? Hey, hey! Leonard, help me keep him out of the system.
Please.
I found a dead body under Chester's floor.
I called the cops and reported it.
I did the right thing! It's not Chester's floor.
It's yours.
Leonard Pine you're gonna take a little trip down to the station.
[Creaking in distance] [Gasps] [Breathing heavily] [Door creaks] [Breathing heavily] [Dramatic music playing] - [Rustling] - [Gasps] [Vehicle passes] Aah! Number two, step back.
Number three, step forward.
Take your hat off.
Say "cheese.
" That's the man you saw with Chester Pine? That's him, sure as I'm born.
[Glove snaps] [Camera shutter clicks] Damn shoulder.
[Grunts] All right, damn it.
[Door creaks shut] [Grunts] They have a witness.
[Scoffs] Bullshit.
Claims to have seen you and Chester carrying a body into Chester's cellar.
I'm the one told 'e where the body was at.
Why would I tell them myself? Don't make no damn sense.
They think you're the partner Chester's talking about.
What's he facing here? Accessory after the fact.
Carries a sentence of 5 to 10.
- Ooh.
- Leonard, I have to ask.
Where were you the night of September the 9, 1986? This guy said he saw me do this two years ago? Why'd he get me up now fo'? Maybe 'cause you pissed on his face? Melton.
If Melton is their witness, their case is definitely weak.
All I have to do is put the Reverend and MeMaw on the stand, say what they see coming in and out of that house of his.
[Lowered voice] You gotta get me outta here, Florida.
I will, first thing Monday.
Monday?! [Lowered voice] I can't stay in here till then.
You don't have a choice.
Can you just keep your head low until then, huh? [Sighs] Hmm.
You heard her.
I ain't got no choice.
It makes my stomach flip leaving him here.
I know things don't look good right now.
- [Telephone ringing] - They think Chester's a murderer.
They think Leonard helped.
It's nonsense.
Proving it shouldn't be too hard.
Well, then we need to get to work proving it.
Come on.
[Indistinct conversations] Jesus.
[Indistinct conversations] Ladies? Ladies.
I know y'all been hoping for some answers about your missing boys, but I don't have any.
We just don't know whose child this is.
They're still working to identify the body.
Until we got something concrete, I'm real sorry.
Woman: You've been sorry for years! But the best thing you can do is go on home and get some rest, and I'll call you when there's news.
You ain't never call us! - Woman: You know she lying.
- This ain't right.
One of these women could be BB's mom.
Officer: I said I'd call you.
[Door opens] [Indistinct conversations] Ladies? Ladies, good evening.
My name is Hap Hap Collins.
- [Door closes] - I'd like to talk to you about your sons.
- Why? - What interest you got? - Yeah.
- Ladies, we have reason to believe that the police department is up to no good here.
Police ain't done shit about our missing kids.
- [All speaking at once] - That's why we want to talk to you.
- Who you? - Woman: Mm-hmm.
Florida Grange, attorney at law.
All right, girl.
All right, well, where you are, I'll talk to you.
Tell me about your boy.
He liked to play basketball.
- Where is that mouth? - He was a saint.
Rode a skateboard like nothing you've ever seen.
Get hisself from one side of town to the other in 10 minutes flat.
His initials, they weren't BB, by any chance, were they? His name is Joshua Henry.
- Brandon Carter.
- LeShawn Simms.
Jesse Walter Johnson.
Dexter Clay.
[Exhales deeply] I miss him every day I breathe.
It ain't right, a mother not knowing where her boy is or what happened to him.
- I can only imagine.
- You don't know how much it hurts to ask for help, and you get a door slammed in your face.
No cop ever come around and ask about my boy, only you and that old man.
- What old man? - Acting all official.
I knew he wasn't what he said he was, but I was I was desperate for any help he was offering.
Remember his name? Never forget it.
His name is Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
- Chester Pine.
[Voices echoing] Chester Pine.
You let me know if you find anything.
Please, will you do that for me? I'd be most grateful.
Of course.
[Cue hits billiard ball] [Blues music playing] Bad enough to lose your child not to know what happened to him [Billiard balls clack] [Sighs] You ever think about having kids, Hap? You're assuming I don't already have 'em.
Oh.
I don't.
What's the matter? Not the father type? Guess it's just, never met a woman thought I was.
What about you? No.
Why not? I, uh I go to sleep thinking about case files of black women who became victims just because they're black and a woman.
I wake up thinking about all the black men in jail who are innocent.
I don't have enough room in my head to think about having kids.
Damn, you're beautiful.
And you're corny.
[Laughs] Dumbass.
[Scoffs] [Sighs] Every single one of those women knew Chester.
Guess I had him figured all wrong.
I never heard him say or do a nice thing for anyone.
He put me through law school.
Kidding me.
And here I thought he was my own personal miracle.
What if I was wrong? I mean, I hate to think it, but that's what they do.
Who? Child predators.
They perform acts of kindness for kids to deflect from what they're really doing.
- Oh, shit.
- Yeah.
You going? Got church in the mornin'.
What does Jesus think of you drinking? My Jesus only knows what I tell him.
Maybe you'll inspire me to find the Lord.
Huh.
Well, don't count on me to save you.
- Good night, Hap.
- Good night.
Thank you.
[Billiard balls clack] Leonard Pine.
Visiting hours 11 to 1, Monday through Friday.
Well, you know, Leonard Pine's my my good buddy.
He's my best buddy, and he needs me, but more than me, he he needs these wafers.
Conjugal visits can only be arranged through the warden.
[Telephone ringing in distance] [Door creaks] [Thud] [Thud] [Seat scrapes floor] Got some things about this case been making my brain itch.
Hopin' you'd do me the honor of clarifying.
Come on, now.
You're a nice girl.
It's undeniable.
You got a cute little thing going on in the corner of your mouth.
You smell like my ex-boyfriend.
Yeah.
That a good thing? Wild Turkey Number 9.
Now, make tracks before I throw you in the drunk tank.
Oh, come on now.
I ain't foolin' with you, smelly.
I thought we had something going on here.
[Thud] [Thud] [Thud] [Grunts] [Thud] [Click] You and your uncle liked the little boys, don't you? Now, I know you don't mean to hurt 'em, but you just can't help yourself.
Isn't that right, Leonard? I got a knot in my shoulder.
A little to the left next time.
[Click] [Thud] [Grunts] - Sneed! What the hell are you doing? - Detective.
I was just talkin' to him.
Get your ass outta here.
[organ music playing] [Rhythmic clapping, vocalizing] Lift me up Washed in the blood of Jesus Lift me up Washed in the blood of the Lord Lift me up Washed in the blood of Jesus Lift me up Washed in the blood of the Lord If I had a thousand tongues Couldn't say enough [Organ plays chords, music stops] [Person coughs] Hallelujah, y'all.
[Murmuring] Ma'am.
[Clears throat] A good Sunday to you, Sister Florida.
May I? Oh.
Thank you.
And this whole pew, y'all got to scoot on down to the end.
Make Hap welcome.
Thank you, MeMaw.
My grandmother, always showing us the way.
Welcome, Brother Hap.
Thank you, Reverend.
[Murmuring] [Organ resumes playing] Lift me up Washed in the blood of Jesus Lift me up Washed in the blood of the Lord Lift me up All right, let's see here.
[Woman speaking indistinctly over PA] That's a pretty bad fall, huh? That what you told 'em? Yeah.
Real bad fall.
Well, sit tight, and we will get you out of here in a jiffy.
- Take your time.
[Grunts] - Easy.
- Lucille? - Yeah.
Take a smoke break.
- Are you sure? - I got you.
[PA system beeps, woman speaking indistinctly] Mr.
Pine.
Looks like you really did a number on yourself this time, huh? You two know each other? - Repeat customer.
- Repeat customer.
Three months ago, he came in here riddled with bullets, and now now this fall, hmm.
How's your nephew? - Nephew? - Ivan, your nephew.
How's he doing, Mr.
Pine? You about done here, nurse? I gotta get him back down to the station.
Yeah, I'm done.
Thank you.
I'm sure that you have all heard by now that the young soul whose body was found across the street from our grandmother's.
- [Congregation murmuring] - We do not know his name.
We do not know what evil delivered him - to the other side of life.
- [Murmuring] How the devil may have had his way with him.
- [Murmuring] - For our heartbroken - [Murmuring] - Feel stranded.
- Yes.
Yes.
- Abandoned.
By a sheriff's department that continues to ignore - Good morning, Reverend.
- Reverend.
Sheriff Valentine, welcome.
Always appreciate the hospitality of the good folks of New Hope.
Might my son and I take a few minutes to address the congregation? - Of course.
- I do appreciate that.
- Good morning.
- Congregation: Good morning.
For far too long, our community has been divided.
The invisible lines between black folk and white folk, between the law and the people that the law is supposed to serve those lines ain't all that invisible.
They've been replaced by walls Walls built with the bricks of rage and distrust.
You're frustrated.
I can feel it.
But I want you to know that we are doing everything in our power to answer your cries for justice for that little boy.
It's time for all of you to look upon your leaders with faith that, in death, that little boy and others like him will not be forgotten.
I want you to know that I feel your pain.
I feel your your helplessness.
As a father, I share your rage.
As your sheriff, I promise to deliver you not only the murderer of that child, but from the epidemic of crime and lawless behavior that has plagued our streets for far too long.
Amen.
Man: Amen.
I hope I can count on your vote.
I appreciate it.
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
Hello.
Thank you so much for coming.
I do hope I can count on your vote.
Have a blessed Sunday, mother.
Mother? I don't recall giving birth to no white children.
[Laughs] Bless your sweet, feisty heart.
I do hope I can count on your vote, though.
You see that man standing there? That is the only white man I like.
What about Jesus? Jesus wasn't white.
Come on, TJ.
[Chuckles] Isn't she just a darling? I do hope I can count on yo vote.
If you knew who I was, you'd know better than to hold out any hope or that fat mitt of yours.
Books! Books! Books! [Wheels squeaking] - You want a book? - No! Hey! Hey! Take that voodoo shit and go on from around me! You hear?! You like cowboys? I had this book when I was a boy.
Still got the copy.
I know, boy.
[Wheels resume squeaking] [Whispers] How you doing? [Door closes] [Whispers] You all right? I'll get you out of this.
All rise for the honorable Beauregard Otis.
[Door opens] [Door closes] [Gavel pounds] This was a heinous crime, your honor, aided and abetted by the defendant, and the nature of said crime really demands that Mr.
Pine remain in custody until trial.
Your honor, Leonard Pine is a decorated war hero, a man who served his country well and has no criminal record.
We're talking about the murder of a child, your honor.
Bail denied.
- [Gavel pounds] - What? Denied, counselor.
Trial is set for six weeks from today.
Your honor, permission to approach.
[Lowered voice] The only risk Leonard Pine poses to the state is to expose to the state's attorney the treatment he received while in custody.
For his own safety, I ask that you release Leonard Pine until his trial.
Hospital records say Mr.
Pine fell.
That is correct, your honor.
- Ruling stands.
- [Gavel pounds] [Door creaks open] [Door creaks closed] [Clears throat] [Urinating] [Urinal flushes] [Faucet squeaks on, urinal flushes] Tell me, Judge.
Does the name Leonard Pine sound even a little familiar to you? No? Why why would you remember the names of two little kids whose whose daddies you killed? Or maybe you were just too darn drunk to to focus on the details that night.
Who the hell do you think you are? I'm a constituent with a burning legal question for a public servant.
After you killed me and Leonard's fathers, how much did your daddy have to pay to make it all go away? I'm sorry for your loss, but the past is the past.
Yeah, well, I'm inclined to agree with you there.
The past should stay in the past.
And it would be a terrible thing if all of this would come out now, this being an election year and all.
[Dryer whirring] What do you want? [Whirring stops] Leonard Pine sleeps in his own bed tonight.
We think it might be a good idea if you got out of town, lay low until all this blows over.
Hmm.
You and Mommy here decide that together? I-I have a cousin in Abilene.
I spoke to him already.
He said you could stay there as long as you want.
- I don't walk fast for nothing, sugar.
- Oh.
Let me be clear here.
As your attorney, I cannot advise you to break the law.
Speaking as your friend, I have seen this story play out way too many times.
Can I tempt anybody with some armadillo baked cinnamon apples? Oh, we're we're good.
- You sure? - Mm-hmm.
All right.
Chester didn't do this.
Chester may well have been up to something.
Something bad.
Little boys.
Florida and I have been doing some digging.
Well, you're gonna have to dig a little deeper.
If we dig any further, we're gonna end up digging your grave.
Chester might have been a lotta things, a miserable old piece of shit, but he a Pine.
I ain't letting nobody drag our name through the mud.
Leonard! If you end up going to prison for the rest of your life or worse, you stick around here out of some stupid sense of pride, and you end up dead, what the hell am I gonna do? Brother to brother, go to Abilene.
Please.
I promise you, we will deal with this.
Just lay low until we do, huh? [Cash register bell dings] [Refrigerator door closes] - Look, I - Shh! The less I know, the better.
I don't know what kind of trouble you're in.
I don't care.
It's none of my business.
But tonight, with your permission, I'd like to stay here.
Someone should be here in case that boy does show up.
Where's my cowboy? What cowboy, Leonard? My cowboy that's been right there.
Ever since I was 9 years old.
[Clank] Leonard! I've got him on a 3:30 to Abilene.
You see this shit? I ain't going nowhere, mnh-mnh.
What's with all the pennies on the windowsills? "Buckaroo Bobby.
" - Who's that? - A book.
When I was in jail, this crazy old man come 'round working that voodoo shit, he give it to me.
- Illium Moon.
- You know him? He hands out books to the guys in jail, and every Tuesday to the to the kids at church.
He's got Ivan.
Leonard.
What the hell is that? Where that son of a bitch live? [Bell clanging] [Brakes squeal, gears shift] [Engine turns off] [Doors slam] [Birds chirping] [Lid creaks] [Tools clank] Why do I get the hammer? 'Cause the crowbar's mine! [Crow cawing] Hey, hey! [Grunts] [Clank] - [Crow cawing] - [Exhales deeply] [Birds calling] The guy has a booby trap.
I'll be damned.
Just tread steady now.
[Leaves crunching] [Grunts] [Birds chirping] Ready? [Biready calling] [Door creaking] What the hell is this shit, Hap? [Door creaks] Like a damn graveyard.
I don't like it.
- [Moans] - [Chair thuds] Ivan, you in there?! Ivan! - [Mouths words] - [Whispers] I know, I know, I know.
- [Whispers] Go on.
- What? Hang on a minute.
[Chair thudding] Ivan? You in there, boy? [Rattling] - [Door creaking] - [Grunts] I been waitin' on you, boy.
[Cloth drops to floor, knife clicks] Check this out.
[Fabric ripping] You're gonna go back over to Chester's.
See? You get me? You do it just like that.
I didn't kill him.
I found him in my pond.
Shoulda just left it in there.
Restin' body oughta stay restin'.
But them bones be calling out to me to keep 'em safe.
He haunts me now, that boy.
I see him sometime.
His soul ain't free.
But my animals, they keep me safe.
Oh, yeah, yeah, they're real, uh, expressive.
That my first one there, named Rocky.
He's the ringleader.
- You kill all of 'em? - Never kill 'em.
- Find 'em dead and lookin' sad.
- Oh.
Make me feel good to see 'em back on their feet again.
This here is Janet.
She lived in my pond.
[Chuckles] Ain't many birds like this left in these parts.
- Oh.
- She my real lucky charm.
When she died, part of me went with her.
That boy hauntin' you would serve you right.
Whose idea was it, you or Chester? Your Uncle Chester only man I trusted in this whole world.
- He a hero.
- [Scoffs] Doing what the po-po want, trying to figure out what happened to all them little black boys.
Ilium, why did Chester care so much? Said he didn't want to lose no more kids.
Said he lost one already.
The day you left.
Broke his heart.
Maybe your memory's a little foggy 'cause he threw me out.
Maybe it be your memory be foggy.
Illium, uh the po-po think that Leonard here helped Chester bury the bones under the house.
You you gotta tell 'em what you told us 'cause if if you don't, Leonard here is he's looking at doing time.
I been carrying books down that jail 40 years now.
Don't matter what I say it, they mind made up.
Well, then you won't mind if me and my friend come back tomorrow with some gear and check your little pond out.
Sure.
Long as you don't let the cracker bring no po-po.
- Nope, no po-po.
That I promise.
- Mm-hmm.
[Pats back] Come on, let's go.
Hey, boy! Your uncle's life work.
[Box clicks open] [Paper rustling] I met their mamas.
All them lost children.
Chester convinced, must be something connecting them all together.
All of us trying to add it all up.
Come down to the end of it.
Don't add up to nothing.
I wouldn't say nothing.
There you are, BB.
[Chain rattles] [Brakes squeal] [Engine turns off] Ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh - [TV playing indistinctly] - Boy, where the hell you been? - Out.
- I ain't takin' no lip off you, boy.
I talk straight to you.
Now talk straight back to me.
Where were you? Can I please talk to you? Now? [TV continues indistinctly] [Lowered voice] That boy's exactly where he should be.
You keep pushing him, he's just gonna run off again.
You ain't no free agent, you hear me? You don't get to run in-out of my house when you feel like it, Ivan.
Okay.
Plus, it makes Raul scared.
Get all nervous and all.
[TV continues indistinctly] Woman on TV: Let's try "Who am I?" Man: All right, always an interesting category to me.
Give me some of them cookies.
[Packaging rustles] I became famous for my folk songs - like "Blowin' in the Wind.
" Who am I? - [Door opens] - You know the answer? - [Door closes] - You don't know? - [Buzzer sounds] Yeah, I know.
Do you know? [Can top fizzes] to Bob Dyland, so let's move the categories around.
Can I go to my room? My room, but go on 'head.
Bottom right, again, a 2-parter.
That means that if you answer these three parts, you get another turn.
The subject of the bonus question is Popular Music.
Singers of pop and country music are often associated with specific back-up groups.
I'll name three back-up groups, and you name the lead singer.
The Crickets, The Pips.
- [Packaging rustles] - I'm seeing someone.
- Who is the lead singer? - Buddy Holly.
- Yes.
- The Pips.
Who was the lead singer? - Gladys Knight.
- Right, the Miracles who was the lead singer? - Smokey Robinson.
- You got it.
- [Cheers and applause] - Very well done.
Bonus category.
[Door creaks shut] He and Illium were investigating missing kids.
I need to make copies of all these.
[Sighs] I can't believe I ever doubted you, Chester.
Well, you had your reasons.
Still and all, the man was good to me.
For the last 24 hours, I thought he played me for a fool.
- Thank you.
- Okay.
Faith is hard to find and harder to keep.
[Inhales deeply] So, I'm I'm a little confused here.
You know, you got real mad at me for playing outside the system with the judge, but then you're okay with Leonard skipping bail.
I don't mind coloring outside the lines, Hap.
Just gotta be on my terms.
Oh.
I'm an officer of the court.
Yeah, okay, I got it.
So, we'll, um, get Illium to go down to the station tomorrow.
Get this all cleared up.
Yeah, about that [Sighs] Illium ain't so keen on the po-po.
Of course he's not.
And I don't think that's gonna matter, seeing as I remember where me and Leonard were that night.
Howard Hawks double feature "Big Sleep," "Red River.
" You have the ticket stub? Uh, no.
No, then, how can you be sure that that's what you were doing that night? Well, I wouldn't lie about Howard Hawks.
That'd be sacrilege.
If I called the movie theater, could they confirm that those were the movies playing on September 9, 1986? [Chuckles] Give me a break here.
[Laughs] You don't hold up under questioning.
Not yet, anyway.
I might someday.
I admire your devotion to Leonard.
I really do.
But let's hope Illium changes his mind.
He might be our only chance of getting this cleared up.
Illium might be crazy, but he'll do the right thing.
Cracker think Illium dumb.
Illium ain't dumb.
Illium smart.
Cracker call po-po, sure as you born.
That's what they do.
[Door creaks open] - [Bottles clinking] - Aah! [Clinking continues] [Whooshing, rattling continues] Bad mojo.
Bad mojo.
[Glasses breaking] [Glasses continue breaking] [Engine revs] [Glass continues breaking] Should have left him.
I didn't mean to.
I'm trying to [Muttering indistinctly] I see that boy sometimes.
[Continues muttering] I know I seen him.
[Continues muttering] I seen him.
[Screams] [Tires squealing, thudding] [Engine revs]