Harvey Street Kids (2018) s01e06 Episode Script

FruLess/Citizen Cape

1 [rock music.]
One, two, three, go! Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh - That's my drummer - This is my beat Whoa, oh-oh-oh, oh - We're - Harvey Kids, gonna run this street! Run, run, run this street It's Saturday o'clock Come on, get on your feet The world's our dance floor Our moves are sweet We're Harvey Kids Gonna run, run, run this street Wow! [upbeat rock music.]
Hey! [male announcer.]
All right! Super Sweeto Cavity Blast'ems! The flavor explosion that makes teeth sing! Part of what could be called a breakfast! This cereal will definitely cause cavities.
Yes, the legendary Super Sweeto Cavity Blast'ems, made with eight sugars, ten artificial caramels, and an experimental hyper-nougat.
The cereal so sweet, it turns the milk in your bowl into soda! Oh! So sweet, they had to take it off the market after a single hour! Ah! But today we have acquired one of the last boxes in the whole world wide web.
Thank you again, Bobby, for ordering this online.
[clinking bowls.]
[Bobby the Elder.]
I do have my own credit card.
Never too early to start building your credit.
Look, I know you all pooled your money for this stuff, but for my own conscience, wouldn't you rather eat a nice kale chunk bar instead? Your loss.
[munching.]
[giggles.]
Yes! Three, two, one, blast them off! [gasps.]
It's empty.
[The Bow.]
Scream.
No! I planned my whole weekend around this.
Not happening, not happening, not happening.
[gasps.]
[both snarling.]
This isn't up to cereal box standards.
Someone got to it before Bobby.
But who? [dramatic music.]
[snarling.]
There's a clue! Ugh! It's a booger.
A mega booger.
[moans.]
This means the culprit must be the one kid on the street we associate with such abominations.
Pinkeye! Caught you green-handed! Not cool, man! I mean, the booger's cool No, it wasn't me! That could be anyone's dried nasal mucus! You gotta admit, this looks like a Pinkeye special.
Yeah, I can't deny it's a thing of beauty, but I'd never leave a nose baby behind like that.
I keep all mine on display in my booger shed.
-He is careful with his boogers.
-Now I don't know what to believe.
Tell me what to believe! What you should believe is booger plus Pinkeye equals he stole our cereal.
That box was for the block.
Harvey Street, you craved sugar, but now you crave, nay, deserve the ultimate justice.
-You don't mean -Yes! We make him wear super uncomfortable formal clothes.
This ascot is cruel and unusual! N-no! I'm only me in this one shirt! Are you sure, Dot? Justice is supposed to be blind, and, well, you gag anytime you look at Pinkeye.
[grunts, gulps.]
Did you just pick your nose with your tongue? -Cuts out the middleman.
-Ugh! Still, I just think we need more proof before giving out such a steep and stuffy sentence.
Fine.
Wasn't planning on being a lawyer until my third career, but I'll prove that you deserve a most suitable punishment.
Sure none of you want a kale bar? Do that one more time, it's going on your roof.
Hubert McKenzenie Willingham.
Street name, Pinkeye.
-You got a lot of priors, huh? -[groans.]
Public barfing, resisting a test, grand theft taco.
It was a setup! The squirrel stole it from me first! Ooh, I love it when they do this in movies.
Hey, can we do "good cop, bad cop"? I call good cop! Here, Pinkeye, have some mochi ice cream.
I made it look a turtle.
[grunts.]
Bad cop time! Tell us what we wanna know, or I'll wash that dirt you love so much right off your head! I'll do it, man! It's a fresh coat, don't do it! I'm innocent! Thought you might not cooperate.
So I brought a lie detector.
[eerie music.]
I can read thoughts.
Don't be so impressed.
-Uh, I'm not.
-Yes, you are.
[gasps.]
She's good.
Let's calibrate her.
Please state your name.
-Pinkeye.
-Ding.
Now tell a lie.
Um, I didn't just fart.
[imitates buzzer.]
Now tell me, how did our cereal taste? Like betrayal? [stammering.]
I don't know! I didn't do it! I don't even know what betrayal tastes like! I'm telling the truth.
Ding.
Huh.
He is telling the truth.
Impossible.
System must be on the fritz.
Wait, I couldn't have done it! I was off doing something else when it happened! You mean you have an ali-bye-bye? Yes! I was busy all morning getting a natural skin treatment with a high-class associate of mine.
Ding.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
So he was here with you all morning? See? You're just covering for your muddy buddy.
Besides, you're an animal, so it's a reach to assume you even understand me.
Oh, I understand you, Dot.
More than you could ever know.
Time to face facts, Dot.
There's no case here.
Pinkeye's clean.
[Pinkeye humming.]
Well, not clean-clean, but yeah.
No.
He must've done it! And I will prove it! I'll dig through his birth records, his school records, his kickball records, record's records.
Or I'll step on something weird.
Huh.
Looks like a retainer, and it's fresh.
Really got mudded up.
Oh, there's more than mud.
[sniffs.]
Oh, that's a patented blend of eight sugars and ten artificial caramels! It's the thief's! The cereal must've jammed it up, so he chucked it here to dispose of the evidence.
Now, who wears a retainer? I know of a certain pink-eyed fellow in need of orthodontic work.
-Of course it's his! -His teeth are the stuff of nightmares.
Now, that's conclusive evidence! That's not mine! I've never even been to the mouth person, I swear! Thanks for doing your part to bring order to this mad, lawless street.
-Kale bar? -Never.
Now, to remove any doubt, I'll show you it fits.
Might wanna ready that pantsuit.
Mr.
Eye, your mouth, please? Ahh.
[grunting.]
[gags.]
Those chompers are unretainable! [gasps.]
It doesn't fit! Huh, looks like all Pinkeye is guilty of is first-degree grossness.
No! This must be a trick! -Check him for fake vampire teeth! -Whoa, whoa! Hey, what's that on your dress? They're crumbs.
Cavity Blast'em-y ones! Dot's the thief person! Yes! I was pretty sure I didn't do it.
But really nice booger work.
Whoa, whoa, hold on.
You, uh, save any cereal for me? Come on, guys, come on.
I'm sure Dot can explain.
That's your cue.
Please explain? What? Obviously they're not mine, the crumbs or the boogers.
Please, people, you know me.
Do we? I mean, I know you 'cause I watch you sleep, but does everyone else here? So thought you'd eat our cereal, then pin it on Pinkeye? How dare you! Glad your good name's cleared, Hubert.
Guys, guys, you can't rush to judgment off of one flimsy piece of evidence.
Ooh.
Feeling some serious poetic justice right now.
Seize the criminal! -Yeah! Poetic justice! Let's get her! -Get her! Ger her! Mailbox diversion! [gasps.]
Wow.
I always thought I'd be the first of us to break bad.
So where we going, Tijuana? I've got your go-bag here, Miss Suzane Bagels.
No, we're not running anywhere.
Now, quick, behind Pinkeye's house.
[suspenseful music.]
It's not your fault, Dot.
It's society's, for discontinuing the cereal and making this your only option.
Guys, I didn't do it! Now, to clear my name, we gotta find the real thief.
Pinkeye wasn't kidding.
That shed is way boogered out.
[shudders.]
Hmm.
If the thief planted crumbs on me, they might've planted that booger too, and that booger might've been picked here.
Huh.
I'm starting to think Dot really didn't do it.
[eerie music.]
[creaking.]
That one's watching me! Hey, this booger looks fake.
Of course.
I know who did it! There she is! -Okay, Dot, time to face the music! -And this polyester pantsuit! Wait! I didn't eat the cereal.
It was Bobby the Elder.
[together.]
Huh? Look, I know this is a stressful time for you all, but blaming me won't bring back your cereal.
What you need is a kale chunk bar.
They keep me Zen and regular.
You say they keep you Zen, but when that cereal arrived, one sweet whiff [sniffs.]
Hmm.
[chomping.]
[Dot.]
and you were devouring that box like an angry mongoose.
But you couldn't take the fall.
-[gags.]
-[Dot.]
So you framed Pinkeye sneaking in here for a booger and replacing it with a kale chunk.
Then on your way home, you chucked your gooey retainer in the Forever Mud Puddle.
When I showed up with it, you knew it wouldn't fit Pinkeye, so you needed to blame someone else.
Me! Luckily you still had some Blast'em crumbs, so you planted them while you patted me on the back.
Nice story.
A shame you can't prove any of it.
Oh, but I can.
Those kale chunk bars do a number on the molars, huh? [grunts and gasps.]
[all gasp.]
Okay, I admit it! My teeth are misaligned! I ate all your cereal.
Look, I'm sorry.
I know I betrayed your trust as your Elder, but you gotta understand.
These things taste like moldy rocks! Smelling that nougat, I was powerless! So you did the crime, now you have to do the time! No, stop! Not the pantsuit! Well, these slacks are actually rather flattering.
Yeah Sorry about rushing to judgment.
Next time, I won't let my intense [gags.]
of you cloud my thinking.
It's okay.
I am disgusting.
Hey, to show you there's no hard feelings, here one of my most prized creations.
Thanks.
But you don't have to No, no, I insist.
Use it in good health.
[gags.]
[upbeat rock music.]
Hey! [Bobby the Elder.]
Harvey Street, are you tough? -Yes! -Morally, yes.
Oh, gosh, no, but yeah.
This answer your question? [chomping.]
[Bobby the Elder.]
Well, enough of you said yes, so tomorrow's the Annual Harvey Street Tuffathlon! Bikers, prove your toughness on the toughest bike obstacle course ever toughed! Cross the Forever Mud Puddle.
Ride the Plank of Garbageness! All you need to race is a regulation big-kid bike and toughness.
Toughness not an actual requirement, big-kid bike is.
[Lotta gasps.]
The Tuffathlon? Back in my lil' Lotta days, that was all I ever wanted to do, after grow big, climb a tree, and spend a day inside a koala's pouch.
[gasps.]
Think I'm big enough to race this year? Huh? Lotta, I have many questions about you, but this is not one of them.
Yeah, you gotta, Lotta! You can so race now that you're not tiny! [Tiny.]
Aww.
What's wrong, Tiny? Tine? Tinester? T-Rex? Since you used my favorite nickname, well, it's just I want to race in the Tuffathlon, but I'm still too tiny to get on anything higher than this.
And even this is kinda dicey.
[yelps.]
Aw, you don't need an athlon to prove how tough you are, buddy! Thanks, Lotta.
[screams.]
Rogue leaf! But to make it worse remember how we used to watch the race together? Yeah, Tiny, I remember.
[Lotta laughs.]
Don't worry, T-Rex, that'll be us risking life and limb next year.
I sure hope so.
Hey, when we're big, think we'll still be friends? Of course! I'll never outgrow you.
Look at you now, all not tiny and ready to Tuffathlon.
I guess that's just what happens in life.
People grow up.
Except for me.
[sniffling.]
You're gonna race too! -Really? -[both.]
Really? Super really! You could do anything if you put your heart to it, so let's heart attack it! Nope.
Rephrase.
Uh, we'll show everyone that in your heart, you're a biker! There is a biker inside my heart! I call him Bruiser! Usually I only hear from him when I eat spicy food, but I say we let him out! Okay, maybe we can adjust the bike for your unique tiny-fications.
I can reach the pedals now! Thanks, Harvey Girls.
Off I go! Hold on.
You need to also reach the handlebars so you can steer.
[grunting.]
Curse my perfectly proportional arms! Does that mean my dream is dead? What? No! No, no dream is ever dead, and dreams don't need to steer! It's working! Vroom! Vroom! This is incre Okay, steering is a deal breaker.
Um, what if you just hold on to the handlebars? I can reach one pedal! Yay? Eh, nay.
It's not like you can just jump from one pedal to the other.
Or you could do that! Yes! This is inge Ladies, this is our last best option.
May history be kind to us.
Gotta say, this does feel natural.
[both.]
Phew.
Hey, I'm doing it! This is working! [grunts.]
I even made it past that tree [groaning.]
Okay, what's our next last best option? Cut down all the trees? Sorry, Lotta.
Beyond the ethics of deforestation for recreational biking, it's time to concede to the laws of physics.
Or to put it in more normal terms, T-Money doesn't have the bennies to close this escrow-style.
[both.]
Tiny's too tiny to ride a bike.
I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to tell your friends the hard truth.
Like this: you sometimes speak a made-up language.
See, I'm fine! Especially since that was just a made-up example and not really the truth, 'cause I talk beautifically.
No, I can't crush Tiny's hopes.
His hopes are my hopes! They were all we had when we were little.
[sighs.]
It was Tiny and me against a world that kept losing us in their pockets.
This is the best movie I've ever seen.
I'm so glad my view is completely unobstructed.
[Lotta and Tiny grunting.]
Free ice cream! [children cheering.]
Well, I may not be able to breathe in here, but at least I'm with my friend who will never leave my side.
But I did.
Didn't I? You sure did.
Who is she talking to? Tiny, you will Tuffathlon! -Really? -[both.]
Really? Yep! You're gonna make it through that race the same way we made it through the four days we were buried in that beanbag.
[sighs.]
You're right, Lotta! Let's do At least it wasn't a tree? The Tuffathlon is moments away, folks! Get ready to race! [Tiny grunting.]
Don't worry, I have a plan.
Hey, I can barely see! Is it supposed to be like that? This is all so new to me.
Oh, uh, uh, yep! Seeing just distracts you.
Let your heart be your legs' eyes! That's what I always say.
On your mark.
Get set.
Tough! [grunting.]
I'm doing it! I'm living my dream! [laughing.]
[gasps.]
Hey, that bottle was recyclable! Aah! [laughing.]
This is so easy.
[panting.]
[energetic music.]
Whee.
[all yelling.]
[laughing.]
[panting.]
[laughing.]
[sighs.]
[children cheering.]
What a race! It's unbelievable.
In a miraculous turn of events, the winner is The Bow.
Who won ten minutes ago.
I just got around to announcing it.
Wow! Another aweso-mazing Tuffathlon! And hey, Tiny, you're alive.
[grunts.]
Hmm.
Who saw that coming? Not me! But I didn't see anything! I let my heart take the wheel and biked like no one was watching! Including me! It was so cool.
Yeah.
You fulfilled your dream all by yourself.
Now excuse me while I sleep for five days.
Really? I'm never gonna sleep again! I want another Tuffathlon.
-Another? -Me too! Yeah, now that I know I can do anything if I put my heart to it I want to do every stunt out there! Anyone got any stunts? Wait, what? No, no, no, no, no, no.
Tiny, stop! What is it? More inspiring words from my only light of hope in this dark world? You have something in your teeth.
Yeah, probably because I just took a bite out of life! Nope, it's spinach.
Lotta, I know now might not be the best time, but I have notes on how you handled that.
I know, I gotta tell Tine the truth, but let's let him have his moment.
It's not like he's just gonna find some stunt laying around.
[Bobby the Elder.]
I have an extra ramp laying around.
Yes! And with it, I, Tinaceous T.
Tonner, shall jump over my house! [children cheering.]
Ow.
He's gonna die, isn't he? Whoa.
Why haven't I tried that before? Hey, Tine o' mine, remember how I said you can do anything? Yep! So here I go! Whoo! Oh! Oh! Oh! [shrieks.]
I'm okay! My heart will pedal my way out.
[screams.]
That's it! Hey, stunts are my thing! -Huh? -[all gasp.]
[whimpering.]
[cheering.]
Never mind! The stuntifier has become the stuntify-ee.
Those are not words.
Just to be clear, we made it, right? This isn't a very real dream where I'm still falling? Yep, we're real.
And I'm real sorry.
I wanted to be a good friend, and I was.
But a great friend would've said maybe you skip the Tuffathlon.
And even if we can't do that together, I'll always be by your side, T-Rex.
Aww, I know that, Tricera-Lots.
And hey, at least I got to do the race myself, right? I will answer that with a hug.
[chorus.]
Ha! Yeah! Come on! Run! Yeah! Go Hey! Let's go! Turn it up Hey! Go! Yeah! Come on Run! Shh! Ha! Yeah! Yeah! Let's go Uh-huh Come on Yeah Hey!
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