Home Improvement s06e25 Episode Script

Well, I'd better get going.
It was great studying with you, Randy.
Yeah.
Um hey, Lauren? Isn't your birthday this Friday? You remembered.
Well, yeah.
I always remember the most important birthdays.
You know, Washington, Lincoln, Lauren.
Anyway, I was thinking we'd get some friends together and celebrate.
Actually, you know what I'd really like? If somebody asked me out to dinner.
Oh, yeah? Anyone in particular? Yes.
Someone in the tri-state area? I'm talking about you.
Well, Lauren, I'd love to take you out to dinner.
But wouldn't that, you know, be kind of a - Date? - Yeah.
That's what it sounded like.
But you didn't mean it like that.
Did you mean it like that? I did.
Unless, you don't want to.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'd love to go on a date, unless you don't want to.
- Randy, I asked you.
- Oh, yeah.
- OK, then! - OK! So, uh, then we're going on a date.
- Yeah, it's a date.
- Me and you.
- Us.
- Together.
I guess this takes us to a whole new level.
Yeah.
I guess it does.
- Well, good-bye.
I'll see you tomorrow.
- OK.
Bye.
Mom, you are not gonna believe it.
Lauren and I are finally going out on a date.
- Congratulations! - Yes.
This brings us to a whole new level.
By the way, what does that mean? That you're about to enter a more mature, evolved relationship based on trust and communication.
You'll have to be constantly in tune with Lauren's innermost feelings.
Oh, miss the old level.
- We have time for one more letter.
- Here you are.
A big one.
This one is from a Katie Allen, one of our younger viewers, look at that, - a little picture for us.
- Oh.
A little Tool Time bench.
There's me after a weekend in Cancun, evidently.
There's Al.
Heidi's carrying a chainsaw backstage.
- Thank you, very nice.
- Cute.
Well, Katie, you're a very talented artist.
Artist? She's a magician.
Look how thin she made you look.
Oh, now, come on, man! That's all the time we have.
See you next time on Tool Time.
- We're clear.
- Thank you, Shawn.
You've been a great audience.
Thanks for coming.
We got free gifts on the way out.
Styrofoam cowboy hats for the gals and little bottles of travel-size Prell for the guys.
Thanks very much.
Does everybody know what time it is? - Hey! - Lisa! - Hi! - Look at you! Holy smokes! - Well - Well I haven't talked to you in a long time.
You look great! So do you.
Something's different.
- No bandages.
- That's it.
How's school going? I got my paramedics certificate.
- Really? - Congratulations! Thanks.
I'm looking for a job.
- Heidi! How are you? - Hi.
- Great.
Good to see you.
- Congratulations on the baby.
Thanks.
I had a little girl, Amy.
Here's a picture.
- Oh, she's so cute! - Thank you.
If you're here this weekend, do the show Friday.
Come as a guest, we're building the hot rod.
If you're sure, I would love to.
- It would be terrific! Yes! - Sounds like a lot of fun.
Why don't we go to Big Mike's and catch up? All right? - Yeah! - I gotta pick up Amy from the sitter's.
You guys go.
Have a good time.
You're gonna miss some great Tool Time stories.
Yeah, well Remember when Tim nailed his foot to the floor? Remember when he glued his head to the table? Wait, remember the time we put Super Glue in one of his sandwiches? - Oh, yeah.
That was funny.
- You did that? - He told me it was mayonnaise.
- I didn't say that.
- And you believed him? - You always believe the boss.
Come on! - Hey.
- Hi.
How was school? Oh, awful.
Now that Lauren and I are going on this date, everything's changed.
What do you mean? I didn't know how to act when I saw her, if I should give a normal "hi," or a more caring, emotional "hi.
" During lunch she asked me to pass the ketchup.
- So? - Mom, she was eating French fries.
I should've anticipated her needs.
Honey, just relax.
You're gonna be fine.
I hope so.
So, Mom, what kind of food did Dad take you for on your first date? Italian.
Meatball subs in the Sears parking lot.
I think Lauren might prefer something indoors.
Yeah.
- Jill? - Yeah? Big news.
Friday's show, the Tool Time audience is in for a big treat.
You're being pre-empted.
Another feeble stab at humor, funny.
No.
First off, Lisa's coming back.
And second of all - Your old tool girl.
- That's not all.
We're gonna have - Heidi still there? - That's not the best part.
Two tool girls? Yes, Brad! But the best part is the hot rod got primered in time.
We're gonna showcase it on the show.
Which do you think the audience is gonna be more excited about, your primered car or the two tool girls? Come on! Tool Time, guys watching The primered hot rod.
You are so sweet.
I love that you rather look at cars than beautiful women.
- Really? - Yeah.
- You know what that also means? - What? I'd leave you in a second if I met the right Corvette.
Hi.
Welcome back to Tool Time and our salute Well, it's either a salute to bean dip or to custom cars.
And next up we have a very special guest helping us out today.
I'm so excited that I'm not gonna wait.
Heidi, bring out our original tool girl, please.
Here you are, Tim.
As you all know, Lisa has been off at school studying to be an emergency medical technician.
You've certainly come to the right show.
All right, enough chitchat.
We have a job to do.
In Lisa's honor, she will help channel this hood on this '46 Ford convertible.
The first step is to tack-weld the hood down securely before we make our cut.
- Heidi, could - I'd be happy to weld.
Could you help Lisa with her coat, please? Oh.
OK.
What are you doing? I'm just doing a little "rapping in the hood.
" Lisa, why don't you tell us what you'll be using to do your tack welds? - I'll be using a MIG welder.
- Oh, I love MIG welders.
Tim, let go.
Let go.
Tim, release.
Do you want me to tape that section on the other side of? - Got it all covered.
Thanks, Heidi.
- Fire in the hold! Boy, she's really doing a good job over there! - Ow! - I'll get the first-aid kit! Don't worry, Heidi.
I came prepared.
It's OK, everybody.
It's just a surface abrasion.
Just a surface abrasion.
It's OK.
This is great.
A tool girl that knows how to administer first aid.
Pretty impressive, huh? Huh? Nice.
Is that Lauren's birthday gift? Yeah.
I got her a really nice pen, engraved with her initials.
A pen? And you want to be her boyfriend? What would you know about impressing a girl? I know it doesn't involve office supplies.
Randy, don't listen to him.
I think it's a great idea.
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi.
So, did anybody see Tool Time today? I did.
And it was the best Tool Time ever.
So, when are you gonna get a third tool girl? I'm not going to.
But I told Lisa she's welcome back anytime she wants.
- All right.
- Is Heidi OK with that? Sure.
Why wouldn't she be? And besides that, I got a lot of cool ways of working Lisa back into the show.
All right.
Hello? Hi, Heidi.
We were just talking about you.
What? Say that again.
Come on.
Not fulfilling enough? We should talk.
Just Wait a minute, wait a minute.
This has something to do with Heidi? - What's going on? - She quit.
I can't believe she won't be on Tool Time anymore.
- Tim, what did you do? - Nothing.
Nothing? You just took away my reason for living.
I can't believe she wants to quit the show.
That's like abandoning the Tool Time family.
Well, it might have something to do with her "step-sister.
" Al? I'm talking about Lisa.
Did you ask Heidi how she felt about Lisa coming back to the show whenever she wants? As a matter of fact no.
Did you make sure that you didn't feature Lisa on the show any more than you featured Heidi? As I recall no.
Did you, at any time, tell Heidi that Lisa coming back on the show was in no way a threat to her job? I'll have to go with "no.
" Do you see a pattern here? No.
What would happen if Binford asked Bob Vila to come and co-host Tool Time whenever he felt like it? I'd probably hit him in the head with a board like I did last time.
Binford would never do that because they know it would make you uncomfortable.
It must be nice knowing that your job is so secure! All right, already.
I'll call Heidi up and unravel this mess.
How do I look? Is this a good first date outfit? I could change.
It's perfect! You look great.
She's not picking up.
I know you're there, Heidi.
Pick up.
She's not picking up.
Heidi! Why is it women get so emotional over everything? I'll tell you, because they're high-strung and moody! No matter what you do, it's never enough! You're never right! Never! Enjoy your date tonight.
You know, I am so sorry.
The salesman told me it was a high-quality pen.
Oh, don't worry about it, Randy.
The ink actually matches my skirt.
Good evening.
Our special pasta tonight is Linguine al Arrabbiata.
- Ah, always good.
- What's Arrabbiata? Well, it's it's sorta Well, it's kinda tough to describe.
How would you put that into English? Sauce.
Of course.
While you decide, can I bring you a soft drink? - No.
I'll just have water.
- Me, too.
Two waters.
Big tip coming my way tonight.
Uh you know, Lauren, it's really great that we could have our first date on your birthday.
I hope I picked the right restaurant.
No.
I love it.
Are you OK? You seem a little tense.
- I do? Why? - You're buttering your hand.
Dry skin.
Here we are.
Two free waters.
- Well, heh, the water looks good.
- Yeah.
Here's to your birthday.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- It's OK.
It's OK.
I'll just go to the ladies room and dry off.
OK.
Bona sera, Randito! - Wilson? - So what brings you here this evening? I'm on a date.
What are you doing here? Well, I'm getting together with my wine-tasting club.
Oh, yeah? Where is everyone else? Oh, they're probably at home, sobering up from our last meeting.
How is your date with Lauren going? Oh, well, so far I've inked her, soaked her and, uh, buttered my own hand.
- Randy, everybody does that.
- Really? No.
I'm just trying to make you feel better.
Gosh, Wilson! I'm just worried that Lauren's not gonna like this date.
The more worried I get, the more I screw up.
Mm-hmm.
You know, Randy, I'm reminded of the modern-day guru, Baba Ram Dass.
His philosophy is "Be here now.
" Well, I am here now.
I think that's the problem.
No.
What Baba Ram Dass means is be here in the moment, don't worry about what will be, savor what is.
Say what's on your mind.
Well, what's on my mind is that Lauren must think I'm a dork.
I've seen the way Lauren looks at you.
Her eyes definitely do not say "dork.
" - Really? - Go to her, Randy.
Well, I would, but she's in the ladies room.
Wait.
Thanks a lot, Wilson.
Hey, Randy.
I'm back.
Yes, you are.
You're here now.
And I'm here now.
And now we can sit in the candlelight and enjoy our water.
I would like that.
Are we ready to order? Or do we need another few hours here at my best table? You know, excuse me, sir.
I don't mean to be impolite, but this is our first date.
We picked this restaurant is we were told we'd have an enjoyable evening.
I'm sorry.
I'm a little jumpy tonight.
I always get that way when I have to face this rowdy wine club.
This one they call Wilson is a real handful.
Signore! This Chianti is an insult to my palate.
It has no exuberance.
Allow me to bring you some complimentary appetizers.
You know, Randy, that was really great the way you spoke up.
Well, sometimes you gotta stop worrying about how someone might react and just say what's on your mind.
You know, especially if you really care about the person.
I didn't know you had such strong feelings about our waiter.
No.
Um I'm talking about you.
And what's on my mind is how beautiful you look tonight.
Thank you, Randy.
You know, there's something on my mind, too Ah, never a dull moment at table seven.
- Al! - Hey, Lisa.
Hey! Big news.
You're looking at Detroit Memorial's newest paramedic.
- Congratulations! - Thank you! Boy, it didn't take you long to find a job! They said three years with Tim was like ten years' experience in emergency.
- Ain't that the truth? - Look who's back.
Hi, Lisa.
Hi, Al.
- Hi.
- Hey, Tim! Guess what? Lisa found a job as a paramedic at Detroit Memorial.
- Congratulations.
- Thanks, Tim.
- Um have you talked to Heidi? - No.
It's her morning to come late.
She's at mommy-and-baby class.
- Where is it? I want to talk to her.
- It's at Saint Stephens.
But I don't think they'll let you in the door without your mommy.
This is serious, Al.
Heidi quit.
- What? - Yeah.
We talked last night, she was upset.
And I think it's because I had Lisa on the show again.
Wait, you mean you never asked Heidi how she felt about it? Oh, boy! Here we go again.
I never would've come back if I knew it would upset Heidi.
I never asked her how she felt about it either.
How could I be so insensitive? Pull yourself together, will you? I'll go down there and we'll work it out.
OK? Don't start without me.
If you have to, just stall.
- See you later, Lisa.
- OK.
What is becoming of Al Borland? I mean, is my sensitivity being obliterated by my overwhelming masculinity? I don't think so, Al.
# The wheels on the bus go round and round # Round and round round and round # The wheels on the bus go round and round # All through the town # Before we go on, does anybody have any questions? I do.
That bus you were singing about, what kind of power plant? Is that a Cummings, a Caterpillar or a Detroit Diesel? Tim, what are you doing here? Um I need to talk to you.
I'm right in the middle of my class.
I want you to come back.
Tim, I told you how I felt.
I have to move on.
But I need you.
Oh Heidi, give him another chance.
He's making an effort.
You're upset you had to share your role with another woman.
- Another woman? - You pig! Wait, wait, wait! I'm not her husband! I'm her boss.
- Oh! Sexual harassment! - Uh-huh.
- No, no, no, no.
- Could we talk in private for a minute? Excuse me.
Would you mind watching Amy for a second? - Oh, I'd be happy to.
- I'll be right back.
All right I shouldn't have invited Lisa on the show without asking you about it.
Tim, I wouldn't have minded if I felt like my work was appreciated.
Come on, I appreciate your work.
You know that.
No, I don't.
You never say anything about it.
You're a very important part of Tool Time.
You get there early every day, set up the projects.
You're the first one out front with a fire extinguisher.
- Well, that's called self-defense.
- You're the biggest star on Tool Time.
Because of you, we got fan clubs in six countries.
Not to mention I'm sure they won't mind watching Lisa.
- What does she have to do with this? - Tim, I was there.
- I heard her say she wanted a job.
- She wanted a job and got one.
- As a paramedic.
- Really? Yeah.
And just 'cause of that? I would never fire you over that.
Think about it, Tool Time won't be the same without you.
Well, I had better call Scott.
- You guys should talk it over.
- No.
He's watching Amy today.
- I'm coming back to work.
- Really? See you later.
Tim, you want to be Amy's partner? We're gonna sing a song.
OK.
How about a car song? Mustang Sally.
How about that? Actually, these songs are for the babies.
Well, you already sang a song for the babies.
# Itsy-bitsy spider # Went up the water spout # Down came the rain # And washed the spider out # Out came the sun # And dried up all the rain Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Something came out here.
But it's certainly not the sun! Oh! I'm sure Heidi appreciated you going to that baby-and-mommy class.
What she appreciated was me cleaning up that kid's mudslide.
You changed a diaper? Yeah.
Good thing I had those welding gloves in the car.
- Hey.
- Hey, guys.
Hi.
Lauren and I are going to my room to study for finals.
They are so cute together.
Remember how nervous you were when we first went out? I tried to kiss you.
I couldn't figure out what to do with my hands.
Yeah.
You got over that quick.
Remember when we studied in your dorm room for finals? Oh, yeah.
- One thing led to another and - Yeah.
Randy!