I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s01e21 Episode Script

[.]
Fine, thank you.
That's enough.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Um, Jeannie Jeannie! Some cakes, master? [SIGHS.]
No.
No.
No, thanks.
Jeannie, you've got to stop doing everything for me.
Oh, but that is what I am here for.
Well, I think you're too much of a good thing.
What does that mean? Well, it means that I almost didn't pass my physical examination yesterday.
I haven't lifted a finger for myself since I found you on that bottle on the beach.
Well, why should you have to lift a finger when I can do everything for you? Jeannie, promise me the next time I ask you to do anything for me, you'll refuse me.
Refuse you? Oh, I cannot do that.
Oh, yes, you can.
I-I-I'm I lean on you too much.
You're getting to be a habit.
Oh, I want to be.
Now, promise me, the next time I ask you to do anything for me, you will just say, uh, um "Tough luck, Charlie.
" "Tough luck, Charlie"? Yeah.
That's right.
Promise.
Well, if that is what you wish.
[SPEAKING IN ARABIC.]
[LAUGHING.]
What was that? The sacred oath of the genies.
Oh, I see.
Well, I feel better already.
I better get to the base.
I've been assigned to a new secret project.
Oh, I love secrets.
What is it about? Well, I'm afraid there's only four people in the world who know about this, and it's gonna have to remain that way for now.
Have a good day, huh? [DOORBELL RINGS.]
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
Yes? I beg your pardon, sir, uh, we seem to be lost.
I'm looking for, uh, Oakdale Street.
Uh, Oakdale Oh, that's down to your left two blocks, and a left turn.
Well, my car's out in front.
Come and show us.
I'm sorry.
I really haven't got time.
I'm afraid I'm gonna have to insist, Captain Nelson.
You're not gonna get away with this.
Get in the car, quickly.
Oh.
You fellows picked on the wrong man.
Jeannie! Get rid of these guys.
Tough luck, Charlie? Come along! [.]
[FOGHORN BLOWS.]
[.]
All right.
Right down there.
Sit here.
Listen.
You know, you fellows are gonna get in a lot of trouble.
I'm due at a very important meeting.
If they find I'm missing, huh, they're gonna start looking for me.
We know about the meeting, captain.
Do not worry.
You're gonna have it with us.
You're working on a project called, uh, Operation Gamma.
Well, that's interesting.
Tell me more.
You will tell us more, captain.
You will tell us everything we wish to know.
I'd certainly like to, but, um, I-I never heard of this, uh W-w-what did you say? Do not be childish, Captain Nelson.
I have a drug that will make you very eager to talk.
Come.
[WHISPERING.]
Jeannie! Jeannie? [RINGS.]
Tony?! Hello! Tony! Hello! Jeannie! Oh, Jeannie Good morning, Captain Healey.
Good morning.
Look, I'm looking for Tony.
Tough luck, Charlie.
W-w-what did you say? I said, tough luck, Charlie.
I heard you, but what does that mean? It means that I cannot help Captain Nelson anymore, and if I tell you where he is, that would be helping him.
So I cannot tell you where he is.
W-w-w-wait a minute, let's Hold on.
Let's start from the be The beginning.
When did you see Captain Nelson last? This morning, when he was leaving the house and the Chinese gentleman with a gun took him away in his car.
Oh, is that where he is? Chinese gentleman with a gun took What Chinese gentleman with what gun? The one who took him away in his car.
You mean, a man with a go And you didn't try to stop him? Believe me, I wanted to, but he would not let me.
This morning, when I was pouring his coffee, he made me promise never to do anything for him again.
Well, Jeannie, pouring his coffee and being kidnapped are two different things.
He's in trouble.
You gotta help him.
I cannot! I have taken the sacred oath, and if I break it, I will lose my power as a genie.
You mean there's nothing you can do to help him? Oh, I did not want to take the sacred oath.
Well, couldn't you at least visit him and see how he is? That is a wonderful idea.
Of course I could! How soon could you leave? Oh, Jeannie, I I knew you'd be along.
Hey, what kept you? Will you get me out of here? Tough luck, Charlie.
Tough luck, Charlie? No.
Jeannie, you You don't understand.
That was just a joke.
A joke, you know it? My name's not Charlie.
You know that.
Now, get me out of here.
Right now.
I wish I could, master.
I want to very much.
Well, all you have to do is blink these handcuffs off.
I cannot.
You made me take the sacred oath, and if I break it, I will lose my genie power.
Oh.
Jeannie they want some information out of me.
Now, if they force it out of me, it's It's gonna be bad.
Very bad.
Oh.
I cannot stand by and let them hurt you.
I will help you.
Oh, wonderful.
I-I knew you'd think of something.
I bet you got something great in store for them, huh? Yes.
I can't wait to see their expressions.
Now, what are you gonna do to them? Well, since I cannot help you as a genie, I'm going to help you as a woman.
You're gonna help me as a woman.
Yes! And when they come in, I'm going to hit them with my fists.
You're going to hit them with your fists.
And I will tell them that I insist that they let you loose.
Jeannie, forget it.
Will you forget it! [THUMPING.]
They're coming.
They're coming.
I am ready for them.
No, no, no.
I want you to get out of here.
I don't want you to get hurt.
Go on, get out.
But what about you? Well, I'll think of something.
But could you at least fix it so that when they give me this truth serum, I won't tell them what they want to know? Whom were you speaking to, captain? Oh, a little genie I picked up in a bottle on the beach one day.
I'm glad you still have your sense of humor.
[LAUGHS.]
Uh, Captain Nelson because I have such great respect for you, I'm gonna give you a chance to tell me what I wish to know without the indignity of Of this.
I tell you what, um Why don't we go down to my office? And I can dig up some information for you there.
We're wasting time.
You, uh, won't change your mind? I assure you that a few drops of this will make you tell us everything.
I I'd like to tell you, but I don't know anything about any new pro-projects.
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE.]
Huh? [CHOKED SCREAM.]
Hm.
This is a new serum, captain.
It begins operating in five seconds.
[COUNTING IN CHINESE.]
Now! You will tell us everything you know about Operation Gamma.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh.
Operation Gamma is a project designed to [SPEAKING IN ARABIC.]
What is he saying? [ARGUING IN CHINESE.]
Sounds like, uh Arabic.
He's telling us everything he knows, but we cannot understand a word.
WONG: Obviously been brainwashed.
Very clever, these Americans.
What will we do? Um [SPEAKS IN CHINESE.]
You stay here with him.
Perhaps you can make him talk.
It will be a pleasure.
Oh, poor master.
Oh.
Jeannie, did I tell them anything? Oh, nothing that will do them any good.
Oh.
Thanks, Jeannie.
Oh Poor, poor master.
I don't suppose you can get poor master out of here? Only one genie ever broke the sacred oath.
What happened? She turned to dust.
Huh? Well Jeannie, can you at least tell Roger where I am? I am afraid not.
But I do not think there is any harm in telling him what is happening to you.
You do that, yeah.
And Roger will find a way to rescue me.
Good old Roger.
Uh, Captain Nelson.
You have a treat in store for you.
One of the, uh, oldest form of torture known to man.
[LAUGHS.]
Did you see him? Yes.
Captain Nelson's being held prisoner by Chinese secret agents in Cocoa Beach.
Chinese secret agents in Cocoa Beach? Mm-hm.
They gave him some truth serum, but it's all right, because he answered them in Arabic.
Oh, that's using his head.
I'd better report this back to headquarters.
I'll be right back.
[.]
Oh, Captain Healey.
Yes? Did you find Captain Nelson? Oh, did I? Chinese secret agents are holding him prisoner in Cocoa Beach.
Chinese secret agents are holding him prisoner in Cocoa Beach? Yes, sir.
Did you see this? Well, not exactly, sir.
But I found it out from an informed source.
See, secret agents gave Tony a shot of truth serum, but he fixed them.
He answered their questions in Arabic.
Captain Nelson doesn't speak Arabic.
I know, sir.
That's what was so clever.
We We better track Tony down and find him, sir.
There's no time to lose.
Yes, of course.
The important thing is to stay calm.
Stay calm? Sir, there's no telling what they're doing to him.
Why don't you go and see if you can find some more information.
Good idea, sir Meanwhile, you start the ball rolling.
Uh, General Peterson I'm calling about Captain Nelson and Captain Healey.
General this time I've got them.
[.]
What is happening to you, master? I am taking a shower.
Those handcuffs are most difficult to get out of, are they not? Yes.
Yes, you might say that.
Jeannie would you hand me the, uh, screwdriver on the desk over there, please? BOTH: Tough luck, Charlie.
Did you tell Roger what's happening to me? Oh, yes, master.
And he was most upset.
Good, good.
He'll get people stirred up.
I'll bet at this very moment, there are hundreds of men combing the streets of Cocoa Beach for me.
[WHISPERING.]
They're coming.
Now, get out of here, Jeannie.
I don't want you to get hurt.
Oh, let me stay with you.
No.
I'll handle them alone.
Oh! Oh.
Well Thank you, miss.
Look, ahem, I'm in a little trouble, and I need your help.
My name is Captain Anthony Nelson, United States Air Force? And, uh, I've been kidnapped, and as you can probably observe, I'm being held prisoner.
I need you to get to a phone just as quickly as possible, and call, uh, General Peterson at Cape Kennedy.
Uh, you got that? That's General Peterson at Cape Your car is hidden away, Princess.
Forget the phone call.
I'm sorry that, uh, we have inconvenienced you, Captain Nelson, but, uh, we need some information from you.
Tough luck, Charlie.
Let me take care of him! No! I have plans for him.
Well, I certainly wouldn't want to upset your plans, but you must realize, I have plans of my own.
PRINCESS: Why should we settle with one piece of information, when there is much that Captain Nelson can tell us? WONG: But he will not talk.
PRINCESS: He will talk.
We are gonna take him with us.
There we are going to have plenty of time.
Any news? Yes.
Their leader is a beautiful princess, and she is going to take my master away.
Take him away where? I do not know.
But I am sure it is out of the country.
Don't worry, Jeannie.
They'll never get him out of the country.
Dr.
Bellows probably has half the Air Force looking for him.
I'll tell you what.
I'll go back and tell him the latest news.
You keep an eye on Tony, okay? Hm! I certainly will.
Yeah.
Okay.
Guess who the ringleader is.
A beautiful female spy.
A princess.
A princess? They're taking him out of the country.
At least she thinks she is.
But you're gonna stop her, aren't you, sir? I promise you that Captain Nelson won't be taken out of the country by a beautiful female spy.
I knew I could count on you, sir.
I'd better get back to see how Tony is.
Uh, yes, do that.
And keep me informed of any developments.
Yes, sir.
You'll be the first to know.
A beautiful female spy? Are you out of your mind? I'm not.
No, sir.
And I must say that this doesn't surprise me one bit.
As a matter of fact, general, I'm writing a book on Captain Nelson's behavior.
And I'm also gonna do a sequel on Captain Healey.
Well, doctor, I don't pretend to know anything about psychiatry.
But I do know something about men.
I'd stake my life on either one of them.
I don't believe that Captain Nelson is being held by any Chinese spies.
Neither do I.
But the point is that Captain Nelson and Captain Healey believe it.
Captain Healey tell you that? Yes, sir.
He was in my office not five minutes ago.
Where is he now? He went back to get further information.
Let me know when you hear from him.
Believe me, I will, general.
So you still refuse to talk, Captain Nelson.
You could save yourself a lot of trouble by letting me go.
I'm not afraid of trouble, captain.
Are you? No.
See, I'm gonna take you to a secluded place high in the mountains where we can, uh, work.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can hardly wait, princess.
[GIGGLES.]
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE.]
There's a boat waiting for us at the pier.
And, uh, we have already contacted the submarine.
Submarine? PRINCESS: You are a very important man, Captain Nelson.
Well, thanks.
How soon can we, uh, leave? The car will be ready in 30 minutes.
Good.
But, meanwhile, let's don't be rude to our guest.
Uh, take him down, and we'll have some tea.
I will prepare it.
Oh.
What's happening? The beautiful lady spy is going to give my master some drugged tea.
Drugged tea? He will not have a chance.
They are going to place him on board a submarine and take him away.
Oh, drugged tea submarine take him away.
I got it.
You better get back to him.
Oh, what's the use? I cannot do anything to help him.
Oh, you may not be helping him, but you're sure making me feel a lot better.
Dr.
Bellows.
Oh.
Any news? Oh, I'll say.
This lady spy is going to slip Tony some drugged tea and take him away in a submarine.
Drugged tea Yes, sir.
And a submarine? Yes, sir.
All we have to do now is alert the Navy.
Oh, yes.
Uh, how do you feel, captain? How do I? I feel fine, sir.
Hm, no headaches, dizziness? No, it's Tony's drugged tea, not mine.
Oh, yes.
Of course.
I'll see if I can get the name of the submarine and get back to you, okay, sir? Okay.
I don't believe it.
You can ask Captain Healey.
I intend to.
Where is he? He went back to get the name of the submarine.
When he returns, I'd like to see him here in my office.
And, uh I want you here too, doctor.
Mm.
I think you're making a mistake.
I can force the information we want from him and then dispose of him.
I am in charge.
That's right.
She's in charge.
And don't you forget it.
It's too risky to try to get him out of here.
It is a risk we must take.
I agree with her.
Be quiet! Don't be a poor loser.
My orders are to get all the information I can from him at any cost.
Nothing was said about taking him out of the country.
I have changed those orders.
Yeah Oh, and very wisely.
Very wisely.
See, he is worth much more to us alive than dead.
Oh, I should hope so.
Not good thinking, Wong.
Go help Chan with the tea.
Uh, Wong.
Uh, go light on the sugar.
I'm on a diet.
[WHISPERING.]
Princess I don't trust him.
Why should you? He's your enemy.
No.
I mean, I don't trust him for you.
I think he's out to get your job.
I have a feeling he's pretty tricky.
There's only one way to keep him from getting you.
And what is that? Get him first.
Now, here's my plan.
You help me take off these handcuffs, and you and I will slip away, and [GIGGLES.]
Do not be impatient.
We're gonna spend many long hours together in my country.
Here we are.
Now, this will refresh you.
Oh, smells wonderful.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's clumsy of me.
Iwasn't very thirsty Bring another cup.
No, you don't have to bother for me.
You will do as you're told, Captain Nelson.
Oh, Captain Healey, it is terrible.
Don't worry about a thing.
We got the Air Force out, the Navy.
Everything's under control.
It is too late.
They are forcing him to drink the drugged tea.
Then stop them.
I cannot break my oath.
As long as I am his genie, I c I Oh.
Take this.
Take Take this? What for? Then you will be my new master.
I'll be your new master? Mm.
Oh, Jeannie, this is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.
Now, now Now, say that you command the bottle.
I command the bottle.
Oh.
Now that Captain Nelson is no longer my master, I am free of my oath to him.
Huh.
Jeannie, you remember that Rolls-Royce you, uh, got for me once? Well, I'd like it back, only this time with a gold top.
And, uh, I'd like my yacht back again only this time with a lar Lar J-Jeannie? Jeannie.
[SPEAKING IN CHINESE.]
You will drink this.
PRINCESS: Drink it, captain.
TONY: I don't like tea! [GRUNTING.]
What are you doing? Oh.
I do not know.
[CHAN SCREAMING IN CHINESE.]
[CUP BANGS ON FLOOR.]
[ARGUING IN CHINESE.]
[LAUGHING.]
[SQUAWKING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Jeannie, you'll turn to dust! Oh, there you are.
I've been looking everywhere for you.
Oh, Tony! Wha What about your oath? Oh, I'm free of my oath be Because I am no longer your genie.
What do you mean you're no longer my genie? What she's trying to say is, buddy, that she has a new master, and you're looking at him.
Now you will give the bottle back to Captain Nelson.
Oh-ho.
Why would I want to do a stupid thing like that? What is more important to you? A new car, or saving your friend's life? What kind of new car? Oh, I I was only kidding.
She's yours.
I I guess she could never really belong to anybody else.
Thanks, Roge.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, we'd better get back to the base.
They must be going crazy.
Oh, wait! Wait! What are we gonna tell them? Uh I don't know.
I'll think of something.
Jeannie.
And, please? Thank you.
[GIGGLES.]
I've seen things like this before, general, but never in such an advanced stage.
My suggestion is, uh, that they be given a complete rest of at least three months.
Captain Healey.
I'm sorry I'm late, sir.
Uh, no, sir.
It's It's, uh it's my fault.
I I was working home, and I got so carried away I lost all track of time.
I really must apologize.
You've been at home all this time? Well Tell him about the Chinese secret agents who were holding him prisoner.
Uh Chinese secret agents holding me prisoner? You weren't being held prisoner? What about the beautiful princess? The ringleader of the spies? Did you tell him about that? DR.
BELLOWS: He certainly did.
And he told me about the submarine and drugged tea.
You shouldn't have done that.
That was supposed to be a secret.
You see? What is this all about? Well, sir, it's a It's the plot of a show that Roger and I are writing for the Air Force Benefit Funds.
[GIGGLING.]
Yeah.
The plot of a? Yeah, well, don't blame Dr.
Bellows, sir.
Thank you, captain.
Dr.
Bellows you know that three months' rest that we were talking about? Yes, sir.
I don't think that's long enough.
Make it six months.
Well, that's a splendid idea, general.
And you can begin immediately, doctor.
[.]