I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s01e22 Episode Script
How Lucky Can You Get?
[.]
Congratulations, Tony.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, what for? Congratulations, captain.
Yeah.
What did I do? Well there you are, captain.
Congratulations.
Thank you, sir.
What's everybody congratulating me for? You haven't heard the news? No, sir.
I just got in from a mission to Canada.
I I don't know anything.
Then let me be the first to tell you.
You and Captain Healey are on the promotion list.
Major.
Well how about that.
You'll be losing your rail road tracks.
Ha! Well, that's wonderful.
I I I bet you Roger's happy, huh? How soon will you be ready to take off again? Oh, right away, sir.
Why? General Peterson wants you and Major Healey to fly to Nellie Air Force Base, and then on to Stead Air Force Base.
He wants you to do a few lectures on, uh, winged spacecraft, and, uh, at the advanced fighter weapon school there.
Oh, good.
Good.
I'd love that.
Give me a chance to see some old buddies from Korea.
I'll tell the general.
Roger that.
Oh, um major? Uh major.
Oh, uh I'm sorry, sir.
I have no desire to, uh, break up certain, uh, peculiar occurrences, but there are things that a captain might do that a major definitely would not do.
Do I make myself clear? Yes, sir.
Good.
Just so long as we understand each other.
Oh, thank you very much, doctor.
My pleasure.
Major.
Good morning, master.
Jeannie, what are you doing here? I brought you this telegram.
I thought it might be important.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
How about that.
[GIGGLES.]
It's from one of the boys in Washington congratulating me.
I've been promoted to major.
Oh, how wonderful.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, what does it mean? Maj Oh, that means I've been promoted to the next highest rank.
Oh, yeah.
One of these days I'm gonna be a lieutenant colonel, and then, uh Well, then I hope to be a colonel.
What will happen when you are a colonel? Well, then I get to wear birds on my shoulders.
And this is what you wish? Uh, you bet.
[.]
Are you sure you would not like to take me with you? Well, Jeannie, if they ever found out about you, they'd bust me to civilian.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Oh, that'll be Roger.
Good morning, major.
Good morning, major.
I like the sound of that.
So do I.
Hey, you all ready for Nellie and Stead? Yup.
And who is Nellie? Oh.
Nellie's the nickname for Nellie Air Force Base.
Hi, Jeannie.
Good morning, Major Healey.
Boy, the three of us are gonna have a ball.
The three of us? No, the two of us.
Jeannie's not going.
What did you what did you say? I said Jeannie's not going.
You're kidding.
General Peterson said when we finished our lecture we could have a few days leave, right? Yeah.
Since Stead is only a Only a couple of miles from Reno, you said we could hop over there.
Yeah, that's right.
And you're seriously thinking of going to Reno without Jeannie? Oh, no, no.
I-I'm not thinking about it.
I've already made up my mind.
Jeannie can't go.
W I will not be in the way.
See? She will not be in the way.
You can't leave her here.
Listen, 10 minutes with her in the casino, and you'll come back a multimillionaire.
I don't want to be a multimillionaire.
Well, how about a plain millionaire? Roger, if I wanted to be a millionaire, I wouldn't have joined the Air Force.
Become a millionaire for me.
I always wanted to have a millionaire friend.
You're just wasting your time.
You and I are going to Reno.
Jeannie is staying here.
ROGER: Will you tell me something? How did you ever pass the Air Force intelligence test? Jeannie, in.
I have never seen Reno.
In.
Are you sure you would not like to be a millionaire? [TAPS ON LAMP.]
Have a nice journey.
Thank you.
I better go get my flight bag.
Take it easy.
Well, if you don't want to become a millionaire, I can't force you to.
It's your genie.
On the other hand, I'm your buddy.
And if you should become a millionaire how mad at me could you get? Jeannie.
Jeannie, can I talk to you? Yes, Major Healey.
Sh! Would you? Would you really? Would you really like to go with us? Oh, I would like to! Ah Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ooh.
Welcome to Reno.
[LAUGHS.]
Ahem.
[SIGHS.]
Ahem.
Roge.
Uh look, believe me, I'm doing the right thing.
Jeannie, I'll be back in a few days.
I'll let you out then.
Oh, don't look so glum.
You'll feel better once we get there.
I feel better already.
[.]
Uh, easy with that.
[CHUCKLES.]
I've got a few important things in there.
Nice place, huh? Yeah, yeah.
Nice.
I've got the feeling these will be two of the luckiest days of our lives.
Oh, yeah? What makes you think so? Oh, just one of my crazy hunches.
Uh, look, why don't you go down to the casino? Uh, I'll be right there.
Hm? No.
I'm in no rush.
I'll wait for you.
Ah.
Well, I tell you, I have to call a friend, and it's kind of personal.
Oh, I see.
I didn't know you had a friend in Reno.
Well, uh, she just got here.
[LAUGHS.]
I'll see you downstairs.
Yeah.
Uh, look, uh Here's, uh Here's $50.
Uh just bet it for me, huh? Oh, wait a minute.
You want me to bet $50 for you? That's right.
Bet it on anything you like.
No, Roger.
I won't accept the responsibility.
Oh, well, be my guest and bet it all at once.
Let's be big about it, huh? You sure you know what you're doing? You bet.
Okay, if you're sure.
I'll see you downstairs.
Downstairs.
Downstairs.
Oh, I've got a feeling that $50 is going to turn into a little gold mine.
Jeannie you can come out now.
Jeannie! C Oh.
I must have lost her at Nellie.
My $50.
Wheee! [LAUGHS.]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING, CHIPS CLATTERING.]
DEALER: Coming up.
DEALER 2: And seven, the loser.
All right, we have a new man coming up real quick-like.
Here you go.
I beg your pardon? Make room for the major.
We have a new shooter coming up.
Get your bets down.
All bets down.
I'd like to bet $50.
Fifty dollars.
Here you are, major.
Place your bet.
All right, we're coming out.
My money.
What did you do with my money? I just put on the line, Roge.
All of it? You bet the whole $50 on one roll? Well, I I only did what you told me to.
And you listened to me? What do you think, money grows on trees? I work hard for my money.
Snake eyes.
The line loses.
You lost my $50.
Sorry, Roge.
It was your idea.
Why didn't you just throw it down a sewer? Do me a favor, while you're here, will you keep away from me? You're bad luck.
$50.
Oh.
Roge, wait.
Are you betting, major? Oh, no.
No.
All right, here comes another lucky roller.
[SLOT MACHINE SPINS.]
MAN: All right.
DEALER 2: We have a new lucky roller coming up.
Who's the next roller? Here we go.
And seven, the loser.
DEALER: Coming up.
In.
DEALER 2: All right.
We have a new shooter coming up.
Get your bets down Hey.
I hit a jackpot.
Congratulations, major.
Thank you.
I've never played one of these before.
Oh.
Put another dollar in to clear the jackpot off the machine.
Oh.
[SLOT MACHINE RINGS.]
Hey! I'd better get another bucket.
DEALER: Coming up.
[COINS CLANG.]
Oh! Another one! I never had anything like this happen to me in my life! Oh, Jeannie! Oh.
Shh.
Money, money, money.
Money, money, money.
Oh, you did it.
Oh, hi, Roge.
All right, miss.
I think that's enough.
You're not gonna quit now! Yeah, I'm gonna quit now.
I'll have one of the boys help you and bring your receipt.
Oh, thank you.
And this is for you.
Yeah.
Let's get back to the crap table, huh? It's such a nice day.
I think I'll go for a swim.
Oh, you can't afford to go swimming! Come with me, and I'll buy you your own swimming pool.
Are you feeling all right? I never felt better in my life! Now, wait a minute.
I really don't feel like gambling.
Well, do it for me.
I thought you said I was bad luck.
Did I say that? Ha-ha! Oh, you're my rabbit's foot.
I wouldn't make a move without you.
DEALER 2: Place your bets.
We have another lucky shooter coming up! Are you betting, major? No, no Oh, of course he is.
Here's $50.
Play it right on the line.
Fifty dollars? Wait a minute.
The last time we went through this You're right.
It's not enough.
Make it 100 on the line.
A hundred dollars? Don't keep the man waiting.
We're coming out for a point.
All right.
Uh-huh.
DEALER 2: Snake eyes.
The line loses.
I'm sorry, uh, Roge.
I'm sorry.
Don't talk to me, you Jonah.
DEALER 2: All right, who's the next lucky roller? We're coming out for another point.
Here we go.
Roger, I'm very sorry I lost all that money.
Oh, forget it.
What's $150 of my money to you? Oh, you're the last of the big spenders.
Now, wait a minute.
I didn't want to bet your money.
I You forced it on me.
Don't you know how to say no? Look, do me a favor, will you? Go for a swim.
All right.
And you do me a favor.
Don't ask me to bet your money for you.
Don't worry, I won't.
Ha-ha.
Would you like something? Yeah.
I'd like another genie.
Why didn't you tell me that your powers wouldn't work on dice? But it does.
Are you kidding? Those dice came up snake eyes.
I know.
Did it not please you? Please me? You know, you cost me 100 Wait a minute.
You mean, you tried to roll those dice snake eyes? Well, of course.
Oh, Jeannie.
Can you make them roll seven? Yes.
Oh.
And 11? Yes.
Oh, Jeannie.
Don't go away.
I'll be right back.
Oh, there you are, buddy.
I've been looking all over for you.
The name is Jonah, remember? Jonah.
Oh, you're my good luck charm.
Look, here's $100.
I'd like you to go and bet it for me.
Forget it.
Wait, where are you going? I'm going swimming.
Swimming? It's freezing out there.
What are you talking about? It must be, uh, 90 degrees.
Oh, at least 100, 110.
Look, I'm not gonna let a buddy of mine go down there and get sunstroke.
No, siree.
You get dressed, and we'll go down to the casino.
Ah.
No, thank you.
The "last of the big spenders" is going swimming.
Can't you take a joke? Well, I don't know.
I haven't heard it yet.
Look, you think losing a couple dollars means anything to me? I was only putting you on.
Wh Why don't we go down to the casino, huh? Well, I got a better idea.
What? Why don't you put on your trunks, and we'll go swimming.
I met a couple of nice, young ladies downstairs, very attractive and willing to have dinner.
Girls? Is that all you can think about, is girls? Well, look who's talking.
You got the fattest little black book I've ever seen.
That was the old Roger Healey.
We can get girls anytime.
Boy, but how often do we come to Reno? Too often.
Yeah.
Yeah, I Heh.
You're right.
I'm I'm sorry.
Oh, look, why don't Why don't you go have a Have a good time, uh Don't worry about me.
I Roger.
Roger, is something troubling you? No, no.
I'm I'm fine, I'm fine.
You, uh You run along and have fun.
Now, how am I gonna have any fun when you're acting like this? Oh.
I knew I could count on you.
We've been buddies a long time.
We've been through a lot together.
Yeah.
Most of it today.
Look, I don't ask too many favors of you, but, uh, I'm gonna ask you for one right now.
What is it? Don't go swimming.
Uh, w-what kind of a favor is that? [SIGHS.]
Well, if I go down to that casino by myself, I I'm liable to get in trouble.
I never told you this before, but, uh I'm a compulsive gambler.
Roge, I never knew that about you.
I had my own floating crap game when I was 6 years old.
Tony would? Would you go down and bet this for me? You sure you know what you're saying? You want me to bet this? This $100 worth? That's right.
And if I should lose it? I'll laugh.
Roge, do me a favor.
When we get back to Cape Kennedy I want you to have a long talk with Dr.
Bellows.
Anything you say.
Look, you get dressed.
I'll meet you down at the casino, huh? Thank you, sir.
Oh, see what he gave me.
Never mind that.
Look, now remember what I told you, okay? Mm-hm.
Oh.
Here he comes.
You better keep out of sight.
If he finds you here, he'll kill both of us.
Oh.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, I knew I could count on you.
I almost changed my mind.
I still think this is a mistake, Roger.
Now look, don't worry about a thing.
Here's $50.
Bet it on anything you like.
Are you sure you're feeling all right? This is your $50.
I can bet it on anything I like? That's what I said, buddy.
And if I lose, you'll, uh I'll laugh.
Ha-ha-ha! All right.
Just sit right here, lucky.
Fifty dollars, please.
Fifty? Ah, you heard the man.
Here we go this time.
[WHISTLES.]
Blackjack.
House wins.
You know what you just did? You just lost my $50.
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
Stay right here.
Uh, I've got to see a friend of mine.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Roger! Major.
Yeah? Are you in, major? No.
No, thanks.
I don't gamble.
Oh.
Thank you, sir.
Oh.
Would you like a drink? I can't afford it.
You're breaking me.
Are you working for your master or for the house? Did it not go well? That's right, it did not go well.
Oh, I am sorry.
But I do not understand this strange game that my master is playing.
Well, you don't understand Oh.
How stupid can I get! Perhaps my master is right.
I-I think I will go home now.
Oh, you can't go home now.
We're in the verge of being rich.
You stay right here.
I'll get him to the crap table.
Remember, seven, 11.
Got it? I got it.
Oh, I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
Oh.
DEALER: Coming up.
Take him into my office.
Now what was that all about? We caught him trying to cheat at the crap table.
Oh.
Oh.
Do, uh, many people try that? Only once, major.
Oh, I see.
I see.
What will happen to him? Oh, let us just say that the guards will take care of him.
Yeah.
Let's just say that.
Are you having any luck at the tables? No.
No, no, no.
No, no.
I'm just placing a few bets for a friend of mine.
I'm not much of a gambler.
Well, enjoy yourself.
I've got to go take care of someone.
Oh.
[GASPS.]
I thought I lost you.
Don't scare me like that.
Yeah, where are we going? To the crap table.
No, no.
You really are a compulsive gambler, aren't you? You know how it is.
Easy come, easy go.
Ha.
And seven, the line loses.
ROGER: Ah.
Here we are.
Excuse me.
Well, uh, let's shoot the works, huh? Ah.
What's the matter? All I've got is a dollar.
Look, Tony, do me a favor, will you? Will you lend me $1000? I'll give it right back.
A thousand dollars? Five hundred? No.
Two-fifty.
Stop it, Roge.
A hundred.
Haven't you gambled enough? Fifty.
I'll bet you a dollar.
We have a new shooter.
He's coming out for a point.
Seven! The winner pay the line.
Oh.
Here's your two dollars.
Let's go.
Oh.
You can't go.
Leave it Leave it on the line.
All right, coming out for a point again.
Eleven! The winner pay the line.
Okay, that's enough.
Oh, leave it.
Leave it.
Leave it.
All right.
Coming out for another number.
Here we go.
Number seven.
The winner pay the line.
Oh! Oh! I knew this was my lucky day.
Oh.
Just leave it all on the line.
Oh, hey, Tony.
Why don't you put some of your money down? Because I don't like to gamble.
I'm only doing this as a favor to you.
Oh.
And what a favor.
I'll never forget you for this.
All right.
We're coming out for another number.
Number seven! The winner pay the line.
Oh! Oh! We're hot.
Oh.
Oh, boy! Oh, look at all the chips.
Look at all these chips.
Oh.
Leave them all.
Leave them all.
All right, here we go again for another lucky number.
Roll the dice.
Did you just see what those dice did? Did you see? Seven.
The winner pay the line.
Oh, money, money, money.
Roger, calm down.
Oh.
Calm down? Roger, you got a lot of money.
Why don't you pull some of it back? ROGER: Oh, are you kidding? Bet-a-Million Healey, they call me.
Oh.
Put it all on the line.
I hope you know what you're doing.
This can't go on forever.
Who said so? All right, we're coming out for a point.
Seven.
The winner pay the line.
What's going on here? They're our dice.
Give him another pair.
All right, folks.
Here comes the next lucky roll.
Here you go.
We're looking for a point.
DEALER 2: Seven.
The winner pay the line.
TONY: You see that? Did you see that? Huh? ROGER: Oh! Keep rolling! You've got the golden touch! Oh! Roger, take it easy.
You're making a spectacle of yourself.
Millionaires don't make spectacles of themselves.
They're eccentric! DEALER 2: All right, we're coming out for a point.
Here we go.
Calm down.
Settle down.
Right out for a point now.
Seven.
The winner pay the line! Oh! Oh, we're winning! We're all winning! Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Just a minute.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute! Just a minute.
Oh, sorry, Mr.
Phillips.
What's the matter with you? Are you a sore loser or something? I thought you didn't like gambling, major.
I don't.
I'm just doing it for my friend.
ROGER: Yeah.
A millionaire friend.
Something wrong with the dice? There had better not be.
I don't like your Shoot, major.
Yeah! Shoot the works! The works.
All right, I'm tired of sevens and elevens, anyway.
ROGER: Oh, don't say that! Bite your tongue! DEALER 2: Number ROGER: Two sevens.
He rolled a fourteen.
Bring him out.
Oh, w Now, wait a minute.
Now, wait.
Wait a minute.
Hi, Jeannie.
Jeannie! Now, wait! [MOUTHS SILENTLY.]
[.]
And if you're interested in miracles, it's a miracle we weren't arrested.
Now, Jeannie, I ask you not to go to Reno.
Oh.
I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
I was only trying to help Help me.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
That's when I get into most of my trouble, when you're trying to be helpful.
What was your excuse, major? I'm greedy.
Well, I I hope you both learned a lesson from this.
Well, I certainly learned my lesson, Tony.
Oh, so have I, master.
I will not try to help with the dice again.
I am much better with horseraces.
Horseraces? Really? Oh, yes.
I can make any horse win.
Well, the track opened yesterday.
The three of us could have a ball That's a wonderful idea.
You really like horseraces? Oh, do I? You positive? Oh, you bet I am.
Well, how about that? Jeannie? [CROWD CHEERING.]
[.]
Congratulations, Tony.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, what for? Congratulations, captain.
Yeah.
What did I do? Well there you are, captain.
Congratulations.
Thank you, sir.
What's everybody congratulating me for? You haven't heard the news? No, sir.
I just got in from a mission to Canada.
I I don't know anything.
Then let me be the first to tell you.
You and Captain Healey are on the promotion list.
Major.
Well how about that.
You'll be losing your rail road tracks.
Ha! Well, that's wonderful.
I I I bet you Roger's happy, huh? How soon will you be ready to take off again? Oh, right away, sir.
Why? General Peterson wants you and Major Healey to fly to Nellie Air Force Base, and then on to Stead Air Force Base.
He wants you to do a few lectures on, uh, winged spacecraft, and, uh, at the advanced fighter weapon school there.
Oh, good.
Good.
I'd love that.
Give me a chance to see some old buddies from Korea.
I'll tell the general.
Roger that.
Oh, um major? Uh major.
Oh, uh I'm sorry, sir.
I have no desire to, uh, break up certain, uh, peculiar occurrences, but there are things that a captain might do that a major definitely would not do.
Do I make myself clear? Yes, sir.
Good.
Just so long as we understand each other.
Oh, thank you very much, doctor.
My pleasure.
Major.
Good morning, master.
Jeannie, what are you doing here? I brought you this telegram.
I thought it might be important.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
How about that.
[GIGGLES.]
It's from one of the boys in Washington congratulating me.
I've been promoted to major.
Oh, how wonderful.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, what does it mean? Maj Oh, that means I've been promoted to the next highest rank.
Oh, yeah.
One of these days I'm gonna be a lieutenant colonel, and then, uh Well, then I hope to be a colonel.
What will happen when you are a colonel? Well, then I get to wear birds on my shoulders.
And this is what you wish? Uh, you bet.
[.]
Are you sure you would not like to take me with you? Well, Jeannie, if they ever found out about you, they'd bust me to civilian.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Oh, that'll be Roger.
Good morning, major.
Good morning, major.
I like the sound of that.
So do I.
Hey, you all ready for Nellie and Stead? Yup.
And who is Nellie? Oh.
Nellie's the nickname for Nellie Air Force Base.
Hi, Jeannie.
Good morning, Major Healey.
Boy, the three of us are gonna have a ball.
The three of us? No, the two of us.
Jeannie's not going.
What did you what did you say? I said Jeannie's not going.
You're kidding.
General Peterson said when we finished our lecture we could have a few days leave, right? Yeah.
Since Stead is only a Only a couple of miles from Reno, you said we could hop over there.
Yeah, that's right.
And you're seriously thinking of going to Reno without Jeannie? Oh, no, no.
I-I'm not thinking about it.
I've already made up my mind.
Jeannie can't go.
W I will not be in the way.
See? She will not be in the way.
You can't leave her here.
Listen, 10 minutes with her in the casino, and you'll come back a multimillionaire.
I don't want to be a multimillionaire.
Well, how about a plain millionaire? Roger, if I wanted to be a millionaire, I wouldn't have joined the Air Force.
Become a millionaire for me.
I always wanted to have a millionaire friend.
You're just wasting your time.
You and I are going to Reno.
Jeannie is staying here.
ROGER: Will you tell me something? How did you ever pass the Air Force intelligence test? Jeannie, in.
I have never seen Reno.
In.
Are you sure you would not like to be a millionaire? [TAPS ON LAMP.]
Have a nice journey.
Thank you.
I better go get my flight bag.
Take it easy.
Well, if you don't want to become a millionaire, I can't force you to.
It's your genie.
On the other hand, I'm your buddy.
And if you should become a millionaire how mad at me could you get? Jeannie.
Jeannie, can I talk to you? Yes, Major Healey.
Sh! Would you? Would you really? Would you really like to go with us? Oh, I would like to! Ah Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Ooh.
Welcome to Reno.
[LAUGHS.]
Ahem.
[SIGHS.]
Ahem.
Roge.
Uh look, believe me, I'm doing the right thing.
Jeannie, I'll be back in a few days.
I'll let you out then.
Oh, don't look so glum.
You'll feel better once we get there.
I feel better already.
[.]
Uh, easy with that.
[CHUCKLES.]
I've got a few important things in there.
Nice place, huh? Yeah, yeah.
Nice.
I've got the feeling these will be two of the luckiest days of our lives.
Oh, yeah? What makes you think so? Oh, just one of my crazy hunches.
Uh, look, why don't you go down to the casino? Uh, I'll be right there.
Hm? No.
I'm in no rush.
I'll wait for you.
Ah.
Well, I tell you, I have to call a friend, and it's kind of personal.
Oh, I see.
I didn't know you had a friend in Reno.
Well, uh, she just got here.
[LAUGHS.]
I'll see you downstairs.
Yeah.
Uh, look, uh Here's, uh Here's $50.
Uh just bet it for me, huh? Oh, wait a minute.
You want me to bet $50 for you? That's right.
Bet it on anything you like.
No, Roger.
I won't accept the responsibility.
Oh, well, be my guest and bet it all at once.
Let's be big about it, huh? You sure you know what you're doing? You bet.
Okay, if you're sure.
I'll see you downstairs.
Downstairs.
Downstairs.
Oh, I've got a feeling that $50 is going to turn into a little gold mine.
Jeannie you can come out now.
Jeannie! C Oh.
I must have lost her at Nellie.
My $50.
Wheee! [LAUGHS.]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING, CHIPS CLATTERING.]
DEALER: Coming up.
DEALER 2: And seven, the loser.
All right, we have a new man coming up real quick-like.
Here you go.
I beg your pardon? Make room for the major.
We have a new shooter coming up.
Get your bets down.
All bets down.
I'd like to bet $50.
Fifty dollars.
Here you are, major.
Place your bet.
All right, we're coming out.
My money.
What did you do with my money? I just put on the line, Roge.
All of it? You bet the whole $50 on one roll? Well, I I only did what you told me to.
And you listened to me? What do you think, money grows on trees? I work hard for my money.
Snake eyes.
The line loses.
You lost my $50.
Sorry, Roge.
It was your idea.
Why didn't you just throw it down a sewer? Do me a favor, while you're here, will you keep away from me? You're bad luck.
$50.
Oh.
Roge, wait.
Are you betting, major? Oh, no.
No.
All right, here comes another lucky roller.
[SLOT MACHINE SPINS.]
MAN: All right.
DEALER 2: We have a new lucky roller coming up.
Who's the next roller? Here we go.
And seven, the loser.
DEALER: Coming up.
In.
DEALER 2: All right.
We have a new shooter coming up.
Get your bets down Hey.
I hit a jackpot.
Congratulations, major.
Thank you.
I've never played one of these before.
Oh.
Put another dollar in to clear the jackpot off the machine.
Oh.
[SLOT MACHINE RINGS.]
Hey! I'd better get another bucket.
DEALER: Coming up.
[COINS CLANG.]
Oh! Another one! I never had anything like this happen to me in my life! Oh, Jeannie! Oh.
Shh.
Money, money, money.
Money, money, money.
Oh, you did it.
Oh, hi, Roge.
All right, miss.
I think that's enough.
You're not gonna quit now! Yeah, I'm gonna quit now.
I'll have one of the boys help you and bring your receipt.
Oh, thank you.
And this is for you.
Yeah.
Let's get back to the crap table, huh? It's such a nice day.
I think I'll go for a swim.
Oh, you can't afford to go swimming! Come with me, and I'll buy you your own swimming pool.
Are you feeling all right? I never felt better in my life! Now, wait a minute.
I really don't feel like gambling.
Well, do it for me.
I thought you said I was bad luck.
Did I say that? Ha-ha! Oh, you're my rabbit's foot.
I wouldn't make a move without you.
DEALER 2: Place your bets.
We have another lucky shooter coming up! Are you betting, major? No, no Oh, of course he is.
Here's $50.
Play it right on the line.
Fifty dollars? Wait a minute.
The last time we went through this You're right.
It's not enough.
Make it 100 on the line.
A hundred dollars? Don't keep the man waiting.
We're coming out for a point.
All right.
Uh-huh.
DEALER 2: Snake eyes.
The line loses.
I'm sorry, uh, Roge.
I'm sorry.
Don't talk to me, you Jonah.
DEALER 2: All right, who's the next lucky roller? We're coming out for another point.
Here we go.
Roger, I'm very sorry I lost all that money.
Oh, forget it.
What's $150 of my money to you? Oh, you're the last of the big spenders.
Now, wait a minute.
I didn't want to bet your money.
I You forced it on me.
Don't you know how to say no? Look, do me a favor, will you? Go for a swim.
All right.
And you do me a favor.
Don't ask me to bet your money for you.
Don't worry, I won't.
Ha-ha.
Would you like something? Yeah.
I'd like another genie.
Why didn't you tell me that your powers wouldn't work on dice? But it does.
Are you kidding? Those dice came up snake eyes.
I know.
Did it not please you? Please me? You know, you cost me 100 Wait a minute.
You mean, you tried to roll those dice snake eyes? Well, of course.
Oh, Jeannie.
Can you make them roll seven? Yes.
Oh.
And 11? Yes.
Oh, Jeannie.
Don't go away.
I'll be right back.
Oh, there you are, buddy.
I've been looking all over for you.
The name is Jonah, remember? Jonah.
Oh, you're my good luck charm.
Look, here's $100.
I'd like you to go and bet it for me.
Forget it.
Wait, where are you going? I'm going swimming.
Swimming? It's freezing out there.
What are you talking about? It must be, uh, 90 degrees.
Oh, at least 100, 110.
Look, I'm not gonna let a buddy of mine go down there and get sunstroke.
No, siree.
You get dressed, and we'll go down to the casino.
Ah.
No, thank you.
The "last of the big spenders" is going swimming.
Can't you take a joke? Well, I don't know.
I haven't heard it yet.
Look, you think losing a couple dollars means anything to me? I was only putting you on.
Wh Why don't we go down to the casino, huh? Well, I got a better idea.
What? Why don't you put on your trunks, and we'll go swimming.
I met a couple of nice, young ladies downstairs, very attractive and willing to have dinner.
Girls? Is that all you can think about, is girls? Well, look who's talking.
You got the fattest little black book I've ever seen.
That was the old Roger Healey.
We can get girls anytime.
Boy, but how often do we come to Reno? Too often.
Yeah.
Yeah, I Heh.
You're right.
I'm I'm sorry.
Oh, look, why don't Why don't you go have a Have a good time, uh Don't worry about me.
I Roger.
Roger, is something troubling you? No, no.
I'm I'm fine, I'm fine.
You, uh You run along and have fun.
Now, how am I gonna have any fun when you're acting like this? Oh.
I knew I could count on you.
We've been buddies a long time.
We've been through a lot together.
Yeah.
Most of it today.
Look, I don't ask too many favors of you, but, uh, I'm gonna ask you for one right now.
What is it? Don't go swimming.
Uh, w-what kind of a favor is that? [SIGHS.]
Well, if I go down to that casino by myself, I I'm liable to get in trouble.
I never told you this before, but, uh I'm a compulsive gambler.
Roge, I never knew that about you.
I had my own floating crap game when I was 6 years old.
Tony would? Would you go down and bet this for me? You sure you know what you're saying? You want me to bet this? This $100 worth? That's right.
And if I should lose it? I'll laugh.
Roge, do me a favor.
When we get back to Cape Kennedy I want you to have a long talk with Dr.
Bellows.
Anything you say.
Look, you get dressed.
I'll meet you down at the casino, huh? Thank you, sir.
Oh, see what he gave me.
Never mind that.
Look, now remember what I told you, okay? Mm-hm.
Oh.
Here he comes.
You better keep out of sight.
If he finds you here, he'll kill both of us.
Oh.
Oh, there you are.
Oh, I knew I could count on you.
I almost changed my mind.
I still think this is a mistake, Roger.
Now look, don't worry about a thing.
Here's $50.
Bet it on anything you like.
Are you sure you're feeling all right? This is your $50.
I can bet it on anything I like? That's what I said, buddy.
And if I lose, you'll, uh I'll laugh.
Ha-ha-ha! All right.
Just sit right here, lucky.
Fifty dollars, please.
Fifty? Ah, you heard the man.
Here we go this time.
[WHISTLES.]
Blackjack.
House wins.
You know what you just did? You just lost my $50.
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY.]
Stay right here.
Uh, I've got to see a friend of mine.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
Roger! Major.
Yeah? Are you in, major? No.
No, thanks.
I don't gamble.
Oh.
Thank you, sir.
Oh.
Would you like a drink? I can't afford it.
You're breaking me.
Are you working for your master or for the house? Did it not go well? That's right, it did not go well.
Oh, I am sorry.
But I do not understand this strange game that my master is playing.
Well, you don't understand Oh.
How stupid can I get! Perhaps my master is right.
I-I think I will go home now.
Oh, you can't go home now.
We're in the verge of being rich.
You stay right here.
I'll get him to the crap table.
Remember, seven, 11.
Got it? I got it.
Oh, I've been waiting for this moment all my life.
Oh.
DEALER: Coming up.
Take him into my office.
Now what was that all about? We caught him trying to cheat at the crap table.
Oh.
Oh.
Do, uh, many people try that? Only once, major.
Oh, I see.
I see.
What will happen to him? Oh, let us just say that the guards will take care of him.
Yeah.
Let's just say that.
Are you having any luck at the tables? No.
No, no, no.
No, no.
I'm just placing a few bets for a friend of mine.
I'm not much of a gambler.
Well, enjoy yourself.
I've got to go take care of someone.
Oh.
[GASPS.]
I thought I lost you.
Don't scare me like that.
Yeah, where are we going? To the crap table.
No, no.
You really are a compulsive gambler, aren't you? You know how it is.
Easy come, easy go.
Ha.
And seven, the line loses.
ROGER: Ah.
Here we are.
Excuse me.
Well, uh, let's shoot the works, huh? Ah.
What's the matter? All I've got is a dollar.
Look, Tony, do me a favor, will you? Will you lend me $1000? I'll give it right back.
A thousand dollars? Five hundred? No.
Two-fifty.
Stop it, Roge.
A hundred.
Haven't you gambled enough? Fifty.
I'll bet you a dollar.
We have a new shooter.
He's coming out for a point.
Seven! The winner pay the line.
Oh.
Here's your two dollars.
Let's go.
Oh.
You can't go.
Leave it Leave it on the line.
All right, coming out for a point again.
Eleven! The winner pay the line.
Okay, that's enough.
Oh, leave it.
Leave it.
Leave it.
All right.
Coming out for another number.
Here we go.
Number seven.
The winner pay the line.
Oh! Oh! I knew this was my lucky day.
Oh.
Just leave it all on the line.
Oh, hey, Tony.
Why don't you put some of your money down? Because I don't like to gamble.
I'm only doing this as a favor to you.
Oh.
And what a favor.
I'll never forget you for this.
All right.
We're coming out for another number.
Number seven! The winner pay the line.
Oh! Oh! We're hot.
Oh.
Oh, boy! Oh, look at all the chips.
Look at all these chips.
Oh.
Leave them all.
Leave them all.
All right, here we go again for another lucky number.
Roll the dice.
Did you just see what those dice did? Did you see? Seven.
The winner pay the line.
Oh, money, money, money.
Roger, calm down.
Oh.
Calm down? Roger, you got a lot of money.
Why don't you pull some of it back? ROGER: Oh, are you kidding? Bet-a-Million Healey, they call me.
Oh.
Put it all on the line.
I hope you know what you're doing.
This can't go on forever.
Who said so? All right, we're coming out for a point.
Seven.
The winner pay the line.
What's going on here? They're our dice.
Give him another pair.
All right, folks.
Here comes the next lucky roll.
Here you go.
We're looking for a point.
DEALER 2: Seven.
The winner pay the line.
TONY: You see that? Did you see that? Huh? ROGER: Oh! Keep rolling! You've got the golden touch! Oh! Roger, take it easy.
You're making a spectacle of yourself.
Millionaires don't make spectacles of themselves.
They're eccentric! DEALER 2: All right, we're coming out for a point.
Here we go.
Calm down.
Settle down.
Right out for a point now.
Seven.
The winner pay the line! Oh! Oh, we're winning! We're all winning! Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Just a minute.
Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute! Just a minute.
Oh, sorry, Mr.
Phillips.
What's the matter with you? Are you a sore loser or something? I thought you didn't like gambling, major.
I don't.
I'm just doing it for my friend.
ROGER: Yeah.
A millionaire friend.
Something wrong with the dice? There had better not be.
I don't like your Shoot, major.
Yeah! Shoot the works! The works.
All right, I'm tired of sevens and elevens, anyway.
ROGER: Oh, don't say that! Bite your tongue! DEALER 2: Number ROGER: Two sevens.
He rolled a fourteen.
Bring him out.
Oh, w Now, wait a minute.
Now, wait.
Wait a minute.
Hi, Jeannie.
Jeannie! Now, wait! [MOUTHS SILENTLY.]
[.]
And if you're interested in miracles, it's a miracle we weren't arrested.
Now, Jeannie, I ask you not to go to Reno.
Oh.
I've never been so embarrassed in my life.
I was only trying to help Help me.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
That's when I get into most of my trouble, when you're trying to be helpful.
What was your excuse, major? I'm greedy.
Well, I I hope you both learned a lesson from this.
Well, I certainly learned my lesson, Tony.
Oh, so have I, master.
I will not try to help with the dice again.
I am much better with horseraces.
Horseraces? Really? Oh, yes.
I can make any horse win.
Well, the track opened yesterday.
The three of us could have a ball That's a wonderful idea.
You really like horseraces? Oh, do I? You positive? Oh, you bet I am.
Well, how about that? Jeannie? [CROWD CHEERING.]
[.]