I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s01e25 Episode Script
Bigger than a Bread Box
How is the water, master? Oh, wonderful, Jeannie.
Just wonderful.
Everybody should have their own swimming pool.
Get rid of it, will you? Thanks, Jeannie.
lf you enjoy a swimming pool so much, master why do you not keep it? Well, l don't think l could explain it to my neighbours.
Oh, well, l will get rid of them for you.
No, no.
No, l like my neighbours.
l really do.
Why don't you make a little breakfast? Oh, and make it for two.
Major Healey's coming over.
Good.
l have not seen Major Healey in a long time.
Has he been away? No.
No.
As a matter of fact, l haven't seen him much myself.
l think he's a little hurt because l haven't let him borrow you.
That's why l asked him over for breakfast this morning.
-Oh, there he is now.
-Well, l will tidy up.
-Good morning, Roge.
-Good morning.
-Did l get you out of a shower? -No.
l've just been in for a swim.
-A swim? -Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh.
Good morning, Jeannie.
-You're looking very well.
-Oh, thank you.
-Oh, thank you.
-You're a stranger around here, Roge.
l haven't seen you for two weeks.
Oh, thank you.
Has it been that long? Sorry l couldn't make it for dinner last night.
Well, l got a little tied up.
You know how it is.
l.
Would you like something else for breakfast, Major Healey? l came by to tell you that l couldn't stay for breakfast.
You see, l'm going over to the bank to draw all my money out.
-What's wrong, Roge? -Wrong? What makes you think -anything's wrong? -Because l know you.
And l think -l know what's bothering you.
-Let me in on it.
You're hurt because l won't let you borrow Jeannie.
-Hurt? Me? -l think l know how you feel.
And because you're a close friend l'm gonna let you borrow Jeannie this afternoon.
Oh, thanks anyway, Tony, but l don't want to borrow Jeannie.
You don't want to borrow Jeannie? l found something that's better than a genie.
Well, l'm sorry l can't stay for breakfast.
Captain Nelson, what are you doing? Taking out a 1 04, sir.
l'm taking it out this afternoon.
-You have a visitor.
-Well, Colonel Yeager.
-Hi, Tony.
-Very good to see you, sir.
Colonel Yeager was one of the pioneers in the space program.
-l had a good airplane, the X-1 .
-What are you doing here, sir? Oh, looking over the facilities at the Cape.
And, incidentally, congratulations on your last space walk.
Thank you very much.
Where are you off to next, sir? Oh, going down to Panama to look over our Jungle Survival School and just wanted to drop by and say hello.
-l appreciate it.
-Take good care of him, doc.
-Oh, l will.
l will.
-l'll see you, Tony.
Okay, sir.
Good seeing you.
-Hi, Roge.
-Hi, Tony.
Colonel Yeager was looking for you.
Did you see him? Yeah.
Did you mean what you said this morning? -What did l say this morning? -That you had something -better than a genie.
-Oh, look, do me a favour, will you? -Forget l mentioned it, huh? -Oh, well Give me a clue.
How big is it? Bigger than a breadbox.
Bigger than a breadbox and better than a genie? Well, l wouldn't say she's better than a genie, but she's as good.
-She? Go on.
-lf l tell you, you won't laugh? -No.
-l have a fortuneteller.
A fortuneteller.
Well, thanks a lot.
Oh, come on, Roger.
A fortuneteller.
Look, l don't blame you.
l was sceptical myself.
When she told me where l was born and where l went to school-- She knew everything there was to know about me.
Roger, you're an astronaut.
Now, your picture has been in every newspaper in the world.
What about the things that aren't in print? Fortunetellers are the greatest psychologists in the world.
They can tell by the expression on your face if they're on the right track.
And if they are, they just keep on going.
lf they're not, they pull back.
Look, you have your genie.
Let me keep my fortuneteller.
Sure.
All right.
l just don't wanna see you get hurt.
That's all.
-Where did you meet this? -Madame Zolta? -Yeah, Madame Zolta.
-What's so funny about that? l met her coming out of my apartment.
She bumped into me.
She bumped into you? l'd like to meet her, Roge.
l thought you weren't interested.
l changed my mind.
Think you could arrange it? Well, she's giving me a reading this evening.
You could come along.
How about 8:00? lt's a date.
Listen.
She's really going to impress you.
She already has.
l still do not understand why you must meet this fortuneteller, master.
l would be happy to read your stars for you.
Oh, thanks, Jeannie.
l don't want anybody to read my stars for me.
No, this is Roger's fortuneteller.
He thinks she's psychic.
And l think there's some kind of a swindle going on.
Oh, but, master, could it not be that she is psychic? Psychic, my foot.
She's a con artist.
-A what? -She's a fake, Jeannie.
She's not charging him for the readings.
That means she's after something bigger.
l'd like to know what it is.
Well, from what you say, Major Healey believes she is genuine.
Major Healey believes in fortune cookies.
-Oh, that's him.
-l will let him in.
Hello! -Good evening, Major Healey.
-Oh.
Good evening, Jeannie.
Major Nelson has been telling me about your fortuneteller.
-Yeah, she's fantastic.
-Oh, l have known many wonderful fortunetellers.
-Have you really? -Oh, yes.
-My friend Nossie used-- -Nossie? Nostradamus.
He used to tell me many exciting things that came true.
They don't make them that way anymore.
All right, we better be going.
l'll be home early.
l wouldn't be too sure of that.
You may get so fascinated with her, you won't want to leave.
Well, l hardly think so, Roger.
-Good night, Jeannie.
-Good night, master.
l will wait up for you.
Say, have you heard anything about NASA expanding and buying more property around the base? No.
No.
lsn't this your apartment? Yeah, Madame Zolta lives right next door to me.
Oh, that's a coincidence, isn't it? Boy, you sure are suspicious, aren't you? Come in, Major Healey.
Hello, Madame Zolta.
l'd like you to meet a friend-- -Major Nelson.
-Hey, she knows who you are.
-Sit down.
-Thank you.
l hope l'm not intruding, madam.
Oh, but you're not intruding, major.
l was expecting you.
And when Madame Zolta says she's expecting you, she-- Oh, how about that? Three cups.
-Major.
-Thank you.
And you take cream and one sugar.
Hey, how about that? Do you see what l mean? She knows.
-Remarkable, Roger.
-Major Nelson is a sceptic.
No, no, no.
That's not true.
He just came over here to meet you.
He came because he does not believe in me and he was worried about you.
Now, is that not true, major? Well, let's say l came with an open mind.
-You are a Leo.
-Hey, that's right.
How about that? l'm sure Madame Zolta reads newspapers, Roger.
You have a very inquiring mind.
You want to know why things happen.
That's true.
That's true.
That's also true of millions of people.
And you are very stubborn.
Once you are interested in a problem you will not let go until you have all the facts.
Oh, boy, has she got you down pat.
l have prepared your astrological chart for you.
l hope you do not mind.
No.
Not if it's not too expensive.
-There is no charge.
-No? Well, l understand these take quite some time to prepare.
Doesn't matter.
l did it because l am very interested in you.
How did you know you were gonna meet me? Perhaps l read it in the newspaper.
-Touché, Tony.
-May l see your hand, please? -Which one? -The one with the scar on it that you got climbing over your neighbour's barbed-wire fence.
-The right one.
-You didn't tell me about that.
Well, it happened when l was 7 years old.
l suppose she read about that in the newspapers.
Let us see what the crystal ball has to say.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Oh, you won't believe this.
This is really good.
Madame Zolta.
l'm afraid you're just wasting your time.
My friend Major Healey may be a little more gullible than l am.
l've had a little more experience.
And if there's one thing l'm sure of, it's that-- -That's me.
-Yes.
The crystal ball holds the past, the present and the future.
Yeah-- Hey, Roger, that's really me.
Don't touch it.
You will disturb the spirits.
Oh, sorry.
Now do you believe me? l'm sorry, madam, l-- l must admit l was sceptical when l first came in here, but that's really amazing.
Do not apologize, major.
l have converted many unbelievers.
l'd certainly like to know a lot more about this.
l'm holding a séance tomorrow night.
lf you care to attend, you are very welcome.
Oh, l'd like that very much.
Can you? Can you contact the spirits? lf the atmosphere is right.
Well, l have an aunt and uncle l lost a few years ago.
l'd very much like to speak to them.
Uncle Jeff and Aunt Susan.
-We will do what we can, major.
-Thank you.
Now, if you'll excuse me, l'm rather tired.
Oh, yes, yes, certainly.
l must say, l'm-- l'm terribly impressed.
l think that you will find the séance tomorrow much more impressive.
-Good night.
-Good night.
Good night.
Roger -Good night.
-Good night.
-Good night.
See you tomorrow tonight.
-Thanks again.
Hakim.
lt was easy.
You really think you'll talk to your uncle Jeff and aunt Sue? Oh, it's a possibility.
lf anybody can do it, Madame Zolta can.
-She's great.
-She better be.
l don't have an uncle Jeff or an aunt Sue.
Oh, hi, hi.
Jeannie-- -Yes, master.
-Well, could you come over here? l need a-- -Oh, a crystal ball.
-Yeah.
Oh, master, do you mind if l use it to look up some of my old friends? Jeannie, it's not a telephone book.
lt's just a piece of glass.
But you told me that Madame Zolta made you appear in her crystal ball as a small boy, so l do not see any reason why l can't-- Yes, yes, l know.
But that's just a trick she does.
And l think l figured out how she does it.
Now, l need a photograph of a man and a woman.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
That's good.
lt's a little modern.
Could you make them about 20 years older? Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
Okay, now let's see, what do l do fir-- Oh, here.
Oh, Jeannie, could you plug this in, please? Now, let's see.
Yeah, this ought to do it.
What are you doing, master? l am putting my uncle Jeff and my aunt Susan in a crystal ball.
Abracadabra, Zelamizoo You're uncle Jeff and auntie Sue lt works.
That's really great.
You'd never think they'd been dead for 20 years, would you? -No.
-You certainly wouldn't.
-Hello, Dr.
Bellows.
-What's that? Well, that's just a crystal ball.
Just a crystal ball? And those people in it have been dead for 20 years? -Oh, no.
They're not real, sir.
-They're spirits.
Well, certainly you don't believe in spirits, sir? And you can summon them any time you want to? Oh, no, no.
You see this is an experiment we're doing in the astrolab.
The important thing is that-- -Oh, major.
-Yes.
You just wait right here.
A crystal ball? His aunt Sue and uncle Jeff were in it, sir.
They've been dead for 20 years.
Doctor, do you know what l think? l think it's time you had a long vacation.
l swear l saw it with my own eyes, general.
The crystal ball is on his desk right this minute.
With his aunt Sue and uncle Jeff in it? That's right.
Let's go.
Jeannie.
That's it, Jeannie.
That's how she does it.
Somehow Madame Zolta got a picture of me as a small boy and she puts it under the crystal ball, then shines a light up through it.
Oh, but why should she go to all that trouble, master? lt's so much better to do it the easy way.
Yeah-- Well, l don't know.
l'm going to find out at the séance tonight.
And l'm gonna take this picture with me.
Master, l went to a séance once at Cleopatra's palace.
And l remember, the medium told Mark Antony that if he didn't watch out-- -Jeannie.
-What? -Oh, general.
-There it is, sir.
Tony, what is this? Sir? That's a paperweight, sir.
Your aunt and uncle aren't in it.
What would my aunt and uncle be doing in a paperweight, sir? They were there a minute ago, sir.
You know, major: ''Abracadabra Zelamizoo It's Uncle Jeff And Auntie Sue'' That's very nice.
What have you done with your uncle Jeff and your aunt Sue? l haven't done anything with them, sir.
l don't have an uncle Jeff or an aunt Sue.
You don't have an uncle Jeff or an aunt Sue? l could start my vacation Monday, general.
Will there be many people at this séance? Oh, half a dozen or so.
lt has been a long time since l have been to a séance.
l'm afraid you can't go to this one, Jeannie.
l'm gonna be busy enough without having to worry about you.
That's Roger's car.
Roger, come on in! lt's open.
-Good evening, Major Healey.
-Hi, Jeannie.
Hi.
-All set for Madame Zolta? -All set.
Master, what does this Madame Zolta look like? Well, it's hard to tell.
She wears those big flowing robes, you know.
Hard to tell? Are you kidding? -She's one of the most beautiful-- -Roger.
Well, it's hard to tell what she looks like in those big flowing robes.
We better get going.
Jeannie, promise me you'll be a good girl.
l promise you that l am going to be a good girl.
lsn't she wonderful? lf l'm ever elected president l am going to see that everyone has one.
Enjoy yourself.
l always enjoy myself at a séance.
Boy, am l gonna have a big fat apology coming from you.
-Good evening.
-Oh, good evening.
Major Nelson, Major Healey, this is Hakim.
How do you do? l trust your arm is better, major.
Oh, it's much better, thank you.
l just had a little touch of-- Hey, l didn't tell her about my arm hurting.
Well, maybe it's the way you hold it, Roger.
Madam, l've had a little time to think about what you did.
And, well, frankly, l find it almost impossible to believe.
l am glad that you're sceptical, major.
-My delight will be that much keener.
-Oh, excuse me, sir.
-Let me-- -Yeah, oh, it's my fault.
Let me introduce you to other seekers of the truth.
-Major Healey.
-We met before.
Major Nelson.
Miss Gordon.
-Mrs.
Bates.
-How do you do? Hello.
How do you do? My pleasure.
All of us have been brought here by a common desire: the wish to explore the unknown.
Now there are sceptics among us and l welcome them on behalf of myself and those dear spirits to whom we shall soon be speaking.
-lt's kind of spooky, isn't it? -Oh, yes.
There is nothing to be frightened of.
-This is your first séance, major? -Yes.
l think l can promise you an unforgettable experience.
l think, with a little luck it'll be an unforgettable experience for everybody.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Oh, that's quite all right.
lt's my fault.
-Please be seated.
-Thank you.
Yes.
-What are you doing here, sir? -Major Healey told me about the séance.
l've come to meet your aunt and uncle.
My aunt and uncle? Oh, madam, this is-- Dr.
Alfred Bellows.
Yes.
Won't you join us? lsn't this exciting? This is my third séance this week.
-How wonderful.
-Yes.
Dim the lights, please, Hakim.
Let us join hands.
And there's no one here but us and our unseen friends who will soon make themselves visible to those who wish to see them.
l'm about to go into a trance.
l warn you, no matter what you hear or see do not let go of the hands you are holding.
l am a bridge into the unknown.
There are those here who wish to communicate with their departed dear ones.
l sink into the nothingness of eternity.
We are calling to you, O spirits.
Hear us and come to us.
You do not come.
Are you angry? ls it because there is an unbeliever among us? -Boy, this is spooky, isn't it? -lsn't it? But he wishes to believe, O spirit.
He needs a sign.
Perhaps if he could see some of his departed loved ones.
Look, Tony, look.
-l see.
l see.
-lt's your uncle and aunt.
Hello out there.
lf anyone recognizes the spirits, speak.
Tony? My darling nephew? Hello, Aunt Sue.
You look wonderful.
Hello, my boy.
lt's good to see you.
Uncle Jeff, how are you? How is everything in the old country? What did you say? l said, how is everything in the old country, you big bag of ectoplasm? He does not mean to be disrespectful, O spirit.
Oh, we must go now, Tony.
But Madame Zolta will tell you -how to find us again.
-No, no, Uncle Jeff, don't go.
Don't go.
l'd like to have a chat with you about the family.
They're calling us back.
What? Don't they give you a coffee break? -We shall return.
-Please do.
l knew them in Chicago.
We will compose our souls with celestial music.
Would anyone else like to commune with a loved one? Yes, l would.
Are you there, dear Herbert? l think l can feel Herbert coming to you.
-Herbert! -Herbert? Something strange is happening.
Spirits? ls that you, spirits? l've done it.
l've done it! l've brought the spirits.
Hello.
Hello, spirits.
This is Madame Zolta.
Do you have anything to say to me? Yes, Madame Zolta.
Look! -Spirits.
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
-Yeah.
Sure.
Where's Dr.
Bellows? Oh, he's fainted.
Okay, doc.
We'll take care of you, doc.
Now, if you just give me a chance-- l still don't understand what they're after.
l talked to a police-lieutenant friend of mine and he says that Madame Zolta is a member of a ring that's swindling people in a real-estate deal.
lt seems that she softens up her clients by telling them somebody is going to come along with a fantastic real-estate deal.
And then one of her confederates steps in and sells them a lot of worthless land.
Yeah, but why pick on me? l'm not rich.
Well, there's been a rumour going around that NASA's going to expand.
Of course, that would make all the property around the base worth a fortune.
And they wanted that inside information.
You mean, she wasn't psychic after all? Roger, you've got to stop believing in crystal balls.
Oh, but they can predict the future, master.
-Oh, Jeannie.
-Well, look.
Look.
Jeannie, what's going on? Wait a minute.
What--? Jeannie? Jeannie? Hey, wait a minute.
Jeannie, come on, let me out of here.
Jeannie! Jeannie! Jeannie! You see?
Just wonderful.
Everybody should have their own swimming pool.
Get rid of it, will you? Thanks, Jeannie.
lf you enjoy a swimming pool so much, master why do you not keep it? Well, l don't think l could explain it to my neighbours.
Oh, well, l will get rid of them for you.
No, no.
No, l like my neighbours.
l really do.
Why don't you make a little breakfast? Oh, and make it for two.
Major Healey's coming over.
Good.
l have not seen Major Healey in a long time.
Has he been away? No.
No.
As a matter of fact, l haven't seen him much myself.
l think he's a little hurt because l haven't let him borrow you.
That's why l asked him over for breakfast this morning.
-Oh, there he is now.
-Well, l will tidy up.
-Good morning, Roge.
-Good morning.
-Did l get you out of a shower? -No.
l've just been in for a swim.
-A swim? -Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh.
Good morning, Jeannie.
-You're looking very well.
-Oh, thank you.
-Oh, thank you.
-You're a stranger around here, Roge.
l haven't seen you for two weeks.
Oh, thank you.
Has it been that long? Sorry l couldn't make it for dinner last night.
Well, l got a little tied up.
You know how it is.
l.
Would you like something else for breakfast, Major Healey? l came by to tell you that l couldn't stay for breakfast.
You see, l'm going over to the bank to draw all my money out.
-What's wrong, Roge? -Wrong? What makes you think -anything's wrong? -Because l know you.
And l think -l know what's bothering you.
-Let me in on it.
You're hurt because l won't let you borrow Jeannie.
-Hurt? Me? -l think l know how you feel.
And because you're a close friend l'm gonna let you borrow Jeannie this afternoon.
Oh, thanks anyway, Tony, but l don't want to borrow Jeannie.
You don't want to borrow Jeannie? l found something that's better than a genie.
Well, l'm sorry l can't stay for breakfast.
Captain Nelson, what are you doing? Taking out a 1 04, sir.
l'm taking it out this afternoon.
-You have a visitor.
-Well, Colonel Yeager.
-Hi, Tony.
-Very good to see you, sir.
Colonel Yeager was one of the pioneers in the space program.
-l had a good airplane, the X-1 .
-What are you doing here, sir? Oh, looking over the facilities at the Cape.
And, incidentally, congratulations on your last space walk.
Thank you very much.
Where are you off to next, sir? Oh, going down to Panama to look over our Jungle Survival School and just wanted to drop by and say hello.
-l appreciate it.
-Take good care of him, doc.
-Oh, l will.
l will.
-l'll see you, Tony.
Okay, sir.
Good seeing you.
-Hi, Roge.
-Hi, Tony.
Colonel Yeager was looking for you.
Did you see him? Yeah.
Did you mean what you said this morning? -What did l say this morning? -That you had something -better than a genie.
-Oh, look, do me a favour, will you? -Forget l mentioned it, huh? -Oh, well Give me a clue.
How big is it? Bigger than a breadbox.
Bigger than a breadbox and better than a genie? Well, l wouldn't say she's better than a genie, but she's as good.
-She? Go on.
-lf l tell you, you won't laugh? -No.
-l have a fortuneteller.
A fortuneteller.
Well, thanks a lot.
Oh, come on, Roger.
A fortuneteller.
Look, l don't blame you.
l was sceptical myself.
When she told me where l was born and where l went to school-- She knew everything there was to know about me.
Roger, you're an astronaut.
Now, your picture has been in every newspaper in the world.
What about the things that aren't in print? Fortunetellers are the greatest psychologists in the world.
They can tell by the expression on your face if they're on the right track.
And if they are, they just keep on going.
lf they're not, they pull back.
Look, you have your genie.
Let me keep my fortuneteller.
Sure.
All right.
l just don't wanna see you get hurt.
That's all.
-Where did you meet this? -Madame Zolta? -Yeah, Madame Zolta.
-What's so funny about that? l met her coming out of my apartment.
She bumped into me.
She bumped into you? l'd like to meet her, Roge.
l thought you weren't interested.
l changed my mind.
Think you could arrange it? Well, she's giving me a reading this evening.
You could come along.
How about 8:00? lt's a date.
Listen.
She's really going to impress you.
She already has.
l still do not understand why you must meet this fortuneteller, master.
l would be happy to read your stars for you.
Oh, thanks, Jeannie.
l don't want anybody to read my stars for me.
No, this is Roger's fortuneteller.
He thinks she's psychic.
And l think there's some kind of a swindle going on.
Oh, but, master, could it not be that she is psychic? Psychic, my foot.
She's a con artist.
-A what? -She's a fake, Jeannie.
She's not charging him for the readings.
That means she's after something bigger.
l'd like to know what it is.
Well, from what you say, Major Healey believes she is genuine.
Major Healey believes in fortune cookies.
-Oh, that's him.
-l will let him in.
Hello! -Good evening, Major Healey.
-Oh.
Good evening, Jeannie.
Major Nelson has been telling me about your fortuneteller.
-Yeah, she's fantastic.
-Oh, l have known many wonderful fortunetellers.
-Have you really? -Oh, yes.
-My friend Nossie used-- -Nossie? Nostradamus.
He used to tell me many exciting things that came true.
They don't make them that way anymore.
All right, we better be going.
l'll be home early.
l wouldn't be too sure of that.
You may get so fascinated with her, you won't want to leave.
Well, l hardly think so, Roger.
-Good night, Jeannie.
-Good night, master.
l will wait up for you.
Say, have you heard anything about NASA expanding and buying more property around the base? No.
No.
lsn't this your apartment? Yeah, Madame Zolta lives right next door to me.
Oh, that's a coincidence, isn't it? Boy, you sure are suspicious, aren't you? Come in, Major Healey.
Hello, Madame Zolta.
l'd like you to meet a friend-- -Major Nelson.
-Hey, she knows who you are.
-Sit down.
-Thank you.
l hope l'm not intruding, madam.
Oh, but you're not intruding, major.
l was expecting you.
And when Madame Zolta says she's expecting you, she-- Oh, how about that? Three cups.
-Major.
-Thank you.
And you take cream and one sugar.
Hey, how about that? Do you see what l mean? She knows.
-Remarkable, Roger.
-Major Nelson is a sceptic.
No, no, no.
That's not true.
He just came over here to meet you.
He came because he does not believe in me and he was worried about you.
Now, is that not true, major? Well, let's say l came with an open mind.
-You are a Leo.
-Hey, that's right.
How about that? l'm sure Madame Zolta reads newspapers, Roger.
You have a very inquiring mind.
You want to know why things happen.
That's true.
That's true.
That's also true of millions of people.
And you are very stubborn.
Once you are interested in a problem you will not let go until you have all the facts.
Oh, boy, has she got you down pat.
l have prepared your astrological chart for you.
l hope you do not mind.
No.
Not if it's not too expensive.
-There is no charge.
-No? Well, l understand these take quite some time to prepare.
Doesn't matter.
l did it because l am very interested in you.
How did you know you were gonna meet me? Perhaps l read it in the newspaper.
-Touché, Tony.
-May l see your hand, please? -Which one? -The one with the scar on it that you got climbing over your neighbour's barbed-wire fence.
-The right one.
-You didn't tell me about that.
Well, it happened when l was 7 years old.
l suppose she read about that in the newspapers.
Let us see what the crystal ball has to say.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Oh, you won't believe this.
This is really good.
Madame Zolta.
l'm afraid you're just wasting your time.
My friend Major Healey may be a little more gullible than l am.
l've had a little more experience.
And if there's one thing l'm sure of, it's that-- -That's me.
-Yes.
The crystal ball holds the past, the present and the future.
Yeah-- Hey, Roger, that's really me.
Don't touch it.
You will disturb the spirits.
Oh, sorry.
Now do you believe me? l'm sorry, madam, l-- l must admit l was sceptical when l first came in here, but that's really amazing.
Do not apologize, major.
l have converted many unbelievers.
l'd certainly like to know a lot more about this.
l'm holding a séance tomorrow night.
lf you care to attend, you are very welcome.
Oh, l'd like that very much.
Can you? Can you contact the spirits? lf the atmosphere is right.
Well, l have an aunt and uncle l lost a few years ago.
l'd very much like to speak to them.
Uncle Jeff and Aunt Susan.
-We will do what we can, major.
-Thank you.
Now, if you'll excuse me, l'm rather tired.
Oh, yes, yes, certainly.
l must say, l'm-- l'm terribly impressed.
l think that you will find the séance tomorrow much more impressive.
-Good night.
-Good night.
Good night.
Roger -Good night.
-Good night.
-Good night.
See you tomorrow tonight.
-Thanks again.
Hakim.
lt was easy.
You really think you'll talk to your uncle Jeff and aunt Sue? Oh, it's a possibility.
lf anybody can do it, Madame Zolta can.
-She's great.
-She better be.
l don't have an uncle Jeff or an aunt Sue.
Oh, hi, hi.
Jeannie-- -Yes, master.
-Well, could you come over here? l need a-- -Oh, a crystal ball.
-Yeah.
Oh, master, do you mind if l use it to look up some of my old friends? Jeannie, it's not a telephone book.
lt's just a piece of glass.
But you told me that Madame Zolta made you appear in her crystal ball as a small boy, so l do not see any reason why l can't-- Yes, yes, l know.
But that's just a trick she does.
And l think l figured out how she does it.
Now, l need a photograph of a man and a woman.
Oh, thanks.
Yeah.
That's good.
lt's a little modern.
Could you make them about 20 years older? Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
Okay, now let's see, what do l do fir-- Oh, here.
Oh, Jeannie, could you plug this in, please? Now, let's see.
Yeah, this ought to do it.
What are you doing, master? l am putting my uncle Jeff and my aunt Susan in a crystal ball.
Abracadabra, Zelamizoo You're uncle Jeff and auntie Sue lt works.
That's really great.
You'd never think they'd been dead for 20 years, would you? -No.
-You certainly wouldn't.
-Hello, Dr.
Bellows.
-What's that? Well, that's just a crystal ball.
Just a crystal ball? And those people in it have been dead for 20 years? -Oh, no.
They're not real, sir.
-They're spirits.
Well, certainly you don't believe in spirits, sir? And you can summon them any time you want to? Oh, no, no.
You see this is an experiment we're doing in the astrolab.
The important thing is that-- -Oh, major.
-Yes.
You just wait right here.
A crystal ball? His aunt Sue and uncle Jeff were in it, sir.
They've been dead for 20 years.
Doctor, do you know what l think? l think it's time you had a long vacation.
l swear l saw it with my own eyes, general.
The crystal ball is on his desk right this minute.
With his aunt Sue and uncle Jeff in it? That's right.
Let's go.
Jeannie.
That's it, Jeannie.
That's how she does it.
Somehow Madame Zolta got a picture of me as a small boy and she puts it under the crystal ball, then shines a light up through it.
Oh, but why should she go to all that trouble, master? lt's so much better to do it the easy way.
Yeah-- Well, l don't know.
l'm going to find out at the séance tonight.
And l'm gonna take this picture with me.
Master, l went to a séance once at Cleopatra's palace.
And l remember, the medium told Mark Antony that if he didn't watch out-- -Jeannie.
-What? -Oh, general.
-There it is, sir.
Tony, what is this? Sir? That's a paperweight, sir.
Your aunt and uncle aren't in it.
What would my aunt and uncle be doing in a paperweight, sir? They were there a minute ago, sir.
You know, major: ''Abracadabra Zelamizoo It's Uncle Jeff And Auntie Sue'' That's very nice.
What have you done with your uncle Jeff and your aunt Sue? l haven't done anything with them, sir.
l don't have an uncle Jeff or an aunt Sue.
You don't have an uncle Jeff or an aunt Sue? l could start my vacation Monday, general.
Will there be many people at this séance? Oh, half a dozen or so.
lt has been a long time since l have been to a séance.
l'm afraid you can't go to this one, Jeannie.
l'm gonna be busy enough without having to worry about you.
That's Roger's car.
Roger, come on in! lt's open.
-Good evening, Major Healey.
-Hi, Jeannie.
Hi.
-All set for Madame Zolta? -All set.
Master, what does this Madame Zolta look like? Well, it's hard to tell.
She wears those big flowing robes, you know.
Hard to tell? Are you kidding? -She's one of the most beautiful-- -Roger.
Well, it's hard to tell what she looks like in those big flowing robes.
We better get going.
Jeannie, promise me you'll be a good girl.
l promise you that l am going to be a good girl.
lsn't she wonderful? lf l'm ever elected president l am going to see that everyone has one.
Enjoy yourself.
l always enjoy myself at a séance.
Boy, am l gonna have a big fat apology coming from you.
-Good evening.
-Oh, good evening.
Major Nelson, Major Healey, this is Hakim.
How do you do? l trust your arm is better, major.
Oh, it's much better, thank you.
l just had a little touch of-- Hey, l didn't tell her about my arm hurting.
Well, maybe it's the way you hold it, Roger.
Madam, l've had a little time to think about what you did.
And, well, frankly, l find it almost impossible to believe.
l am glad that you're sceptical, major.
-My delight will be that much keener.
-Oh, excuse me, sir.
-Let me-- -Yeah, oh, it's my fault.
Let me introduce you to other seekers of the truth.
-Major Healey.
-We met before.
Major Nelson.
Miss Gordon.
-Mrs.
Bates.
-How do you do? Hello.
How do you do? My pleasure.
All of us have been brought here by a common desire: the wish to explore the unknown.
Now there are sceptics among us and l welcome them on behalf of myself and those dear spirits to whom we shall soon be speaking.
-lt's kind of spooky, isn't it? -Oh, yes.
There is nothing to be frightened of.
-This is your first séance, major? -Yes.
l think l can promise you an unforgettable experience.
l think, with a little luck it'll be an unforgettable experience for everybody.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
Oh, that's quite all right.
lt's my fault.
-Please be seated.
-Thank you.
Yes.
-What are you doing here, sir? -Major Healey told me about the séance.
l've come to meet your aunt and uncle.
My aunt and uncle? Oh, madam, this is-- Dr.
Alfred Bellows.
Yes.
Won't you join us? lsn't this exciting? This is my third séance this week.
-How wonderful.
-Yes.
Dim the lights, please, Hakim.
Let us join hands.
And there's no one here but us and our unseen friends who will soon make themselves visible to those who wish to see them.
l'm about to go into a trance.
l warn you, no matter what you hear or see do not let go of the hands you are holding.
l am a bridge into the unknown.
There are those here who wish to communicate with their departed dear ones.
l sink into the nothingness of eternity.
We are calling to you, O spirits.
Hear us and come to us.
You do not come.
Are you angry? ls it because there is an unbeliever among us? -Boy, this is spooky, isn't it? -lsn't it? But he wishes to believe, O spirit.
He needs a sign.
Perhaps if he could see some of his departed loved ones.
Look, Tony, look.
-l see.
l see.
-lt's your uncle and aunt.
Hello out there.
lf anyone recognizes the spirits, speak.
Tony? My darling nephew? Hello, Aunt Sue.
You look wonderful.
Hello, my boy.
lt's good to see you.
Uncle Jeff, how are you? How is everything in the old country? What did you say? l said, how is everything in the old country, you big bag of ectoplasm? He does not mean to be disrespectful, O spirit.
Oh, we must go now, Tony.
But Madame Zolta will tell you -how to find us again.
-No, no, Uncle Jeff, don't go.
Don't go.
l'd like to have a chat with you about the family.
They're calling us back.
What? Don't they give you a coffee break? -We shall return.
-Please do.
l knew them in Chicago.
We will compose our souls with celestial music.
Would anyone else like to commune with a loved one? Yes, l would.
Are you there, dear Herbert? l think l can feel Herbert coming to you.
-Herbert! -Herbert? Something strange is happening.
Spirits? ls that you, spirits? l've done it.
l've done it! l've brought the spirits.
Hello.
Hello, spirits.
This is Madame Zolta.
Do you have anything to say to me? Yes, Madame Zolta.
Look! -Spirits.
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
-Yeah.
Sure.
Where's Dr.
Bellows? Oh, he's fainted.
Okay, doc.
We'll take care of you, doc.
Now, if you just give me a chance-- l still don't understand what they're after.
l talked to a police-lieutenant friend of mine and he says that Madame Zolta is a member of a ring that's swindling people in a real-estate deal.
lt seems that she softens up her clients by telling them somebody is going to come along with a fantastic real-estate deal.
And then one of her confederates steps in and sells them a lot of worthless land.
Yeah, but why pick on me? l'm not rich.
Well, there's been a rumour going around that NASA's going to expand.
Of course, that would make all the property around the base worth a fortune.
And they wanted that inside information.
You mean, she wasn't psychic after all? Roger, you've got to stop believing in crystal balls.
Oh, but they can predict the future, master.
-Oh, Jeannie.
-Well, look.
Look.
Jeannie, what's going on? Wait a minute.
What--? Jeannie? Jeannie? Hey, wait a minute.
Jeannie, come on, let me out of here.
Jeannie! Jeannie! Jeannie! You see?