I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s02e06 Episode Script
What's New, Poodle Dog?
[.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Master! [BUZZING.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Oh, m-master, someone is at the front door.
[CONTINUES BUZZING.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
ROGER: Tony! Anybody home? [SIGHS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Uh, where's Tony? Oh, Major Nelson is getting dressed.
Oh.
Would you like breakfast? No, I'm too excited to eat.
Phew.
Oh! Has something happened? Oh, I-I'll say.
I just got a call from a friend who handles the Miss Universe Beauty Contest.
Uh-huh.
He's gonna fix Tony and me up with a date with two of the contestants.
Oh! How about that? Ooh.
Uh, you want Major Nelson to go out with a beautiful girl tonight? Yeah, I gotta let him Let him know by 6:00.
Oh, but Major Nelson is taking me out to dinner.
Well, no offense, Jeannie, but, uh, Major Nelson can go out with you any night.
These girls are pretty special.
Phew.
Am I not special? Let's let Major Nelson decide who he's gonna take to dinner.
Oh, I I do not think so.
Jeannie, is that somebody at the door? Uh, no, master.
No? Hey, Tony, have I got news [BARKS.]
[WHINING.]
[.]
[.]
Come on, Major Healey, you are going for a little walk.
[BARKING.]
Jeannie, is that a dog? Go away, Major Healey.
Go away.
Go away.
Are you going to take me out to dinner tonight, master? Sure, of course.
We have a date, remember? Hah.
Well, I was not sure whether you remembered.
Yeah, I could of sworn I heard a dog barking in here.
Shall I wear this tonight, master? [GIGGLING.]
Hey, that's lovely.
Oh, I am glad that it pleases you, master.
Yeah.
Where's Roger? Roger? You know, Major Healey.
Major Healey? Yeah, what's goin' on around here anyhow? What's going on around here? Yeah.
Will you stop repeating everything I say? I I heard Roger's voice, and then I I I heard a dog bark Have you done something with Roger? Where should we go for dinner tonight? Where? Where's Major Healey? We can go dancing.
Now Answer my question, Jeannie.
Whe? Where's Major Healey? Now, come on.
Well, I do not know where Major Healey is, master.
Yeah, but he was here, though, wasn't he? Yes, master.
Who barked? Major Healey.
[LAUGHS.]
Jeannie, you turned Roger into a dog? Why did you do a thing like that? I thought you like Major Healey.
Oh, yes, master, I am very fond of him.
Wh-what made you do that? Well, I-I-I will tell you after 6:00.
Oh, no, Jeannie, you're gonna tell me right now.
I want you to change him back into Into Roger.
Ch Come on.
Oh, but I told you, master, I do not know where he is.
But, Jeannie, what's the matter? Well, he He ran out the front door.
Well, he hadn't had a chance to go very far.
Honestly, I Sometimes I can't understand you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Roge.
Roge.
Come here, boy.
Come here.
Good morning, Major Nelson.
Oh, good morning.
What's the matter? Did you lose somebody? Oh, yes.
I lost my dog.
Roger? Yes, have you seen him? Well, I don't know.
What kind of a dog is he? Oh, he's a Uh Major, you don't know what kind of dog you've got? Uh, he's new.
Oh, well, did he have a license? I doubt it, why? Because if you didn't, you better get another dog.
The truck from the dog pound was just here.
The dog pound? Oh, yes, they're very strict about dogs roaming around Cocoa Beach.
Well, what'll they do to him? Don't ask.
[.]
[.]
[BARKING.]
Roger? Roger? Roger, come on.
Roger Healey? [WHISTLING.]
Can I help you? Uh, oh, ye I lost my dog.
Roger? Is he in here? I'll tell you in a minute.
Roger, now, come on.
Hey, come on.
Uh, don't be scared.
It's me.
Roge, come on, now.
I'm here, fella.
Uh, what kind of a dog is he? Uh, well, he's not any special kind of dog.
He's a Roge? Come on.
Come on It's kind of a dog's dog, you know.
Uh, Roge? Roge? Come on, stop fooling around.
Look, mister, if you don't know what kind of a dog you got, I I can't help you.
Uh, c Come on, Roger.
Look, Roger, I I don't blame you for being angry, but Uh I had nothing to do with this.
Look, whichever one of you is Roger, will you speak up? [BARKING.]
Uh, yeah, I might of known it was you.
Uh, sir I found my dog.
Which one is he? That one.
The Great Dane? Yeah.
And you couldn't pick him out? [WHIMPERING.]
Well, it, uh Would you mind just letting him out, please? Are you're sure he's yours? Absolutely.
Joe, the Great Dane.
Yeah.
Uh, he's been in the family for years.
[DOG BARKS.]
Cute little fella, huh? Hey, you're a cute little fella.
Hi there.
[WHIMPERING.]
You'll have to sign for him.
Yeah, oh.
And that will be $5.
Thank you.
Five dollars? All right.
Here you are, and, uh, here's your $5, and thanks a million.
Yeah, you better get him a license.
[SCREAMS.]
[.]
Come on.
Come on.
[MUTTERING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Jeannie, where are you? Jeannie? Hey, will you stop that.
I'm gonna get you straightened out just as soon as I can find Jeannie.
Now, look, pull yourself together, will ya? We have to have that input computer report on General Peterson's desk by 6:00.
I can't do it myself.
I don't have the sufficient data.
[GROWLS.]
Well, now, don't get mad at me.
I am the one who asked you to work last night, but, no, no, you were too busy.
You were And now look at the shape Just look at the shape you're in.
Boy, if it's not one thing with you, it's another.
If it's not Good Good morning.
Good morning, sir.
How? Uh, good morning.
That Great Dane is gonna help you with your input computer report, major? Oh, no, of course not, sir.
Rover's just a dog.
You called him Roger.
Yea Roger Rover, I named him after Major Healey.
Interesting.
[GIGGLING.]
Uh, where is Major Healey? Oh, I have a feeling he's not too far away, sir.
He's not in his office.
Tell him that General Peterson is very anxious that that report be on his desk by 6:00.
I've told him.
I-I mean, I'll tell him.
I'll see you at the base.
[DOG BARKS.]
Hm.
Oh, and by the way don't bring Rover.
[GIGGLING.]
Oh, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Enjoy yourself.
Enjoy I-I want you to turn this dog right back into Roger right now.
Come on.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
I am afraid I cannot do that, master.
Wh? Why not? Because this is not Major Healey.
[LAUGHING.]
You have the wrong dog.
Are you sure? Oh, yes, master.
Major Healey is a teeny, weeny French poodle.
Come on, let's go.
Oh, where are we going, master? We're going back to the dog pound before it's too late.
Come on.
Oh, you go, master.
I have some ironing to do.
Come on.
Oh! Jeannie! Come back here, Jeannie.
Come on, Roger's a friend of yours, and he's in trouble.
And if we don't get that That report on General Peterson's desk by 6:00, we're all gonna be in trouble.
Come on, Jeannie.
Come on, boy.
[.]
Something the matter? Yeah, uh, this isn't my dog.
It isn't? No, no, it just looks like my dog.
Joe.
[DOG BARKING.]
Hey, there's my dog.
There's Roger.
You couldn't tell that from that? Uh, I'm nearsighted.
Hi, Roge, how are you? Hi.
Come here, boy.
Hey, what do you think you're doin'? Oh, uh, this is my dog.
No, it ain't.
I just bought it for my kid.
Well, I'm I'm afraid you're gonna have to un-buy him, because it's It's my dog.
Does this dog belong to me or don't he? He does now.
Why don't you pick another one.
They all look alike to you, anyway.
I don't want another one.
I want this one.
I want Roger.
[WHIMPERING.]
It's all right, Roger.
I'm here.
Let's go, kid.
Just wait a minute, please.
You heard what the man said.
It's my dog.
Yeah, look, this-the dog's been in my family for over 10 years, uh He looks like a puppy.
Oh, no, no, he's old Old and And And sick.
Oh, boy, is he sick.
[GROWLS FIERCELY.]
I want him.
What my son wants, he gets.
I'll tell you what.
I'll pay you.
I'll give you $10 for him.
Let's go, kid.
Twenty dollars? Nope, money don't interest me.
Fifty dollars? You're getting warmer.
There you are.
Four hundred and fifty dollars.
You sure must be crazy about that dog.
Yeah, believe me, you have no idea.
Come on, boy.
There we are.
Oh, come on, Roge, knock it off, will ya? Everybody's watchin'.
I want him, Papa.
Well, uh, if If you'll excuse me.
[.]
Uh, thank you Thanks again.
Roger and I have a lot to do.
The first thing he should do is get his eyes examined.
[.]
[WHISTLING.]
I'm sorry about this, Roger, but I think it's just as well that nobody knows you are here except me, huh? Listen, uh, I'll have Jeannie turn you back, uh, to your normal self just as soon as we get through with this report.
Now, here's the problem.
I'm having a little A little difficulty with the solid fuel ratios.
Well, actually, it's the, uh, convertible fuel ratios that are giving me the trouble.
Now, if they're right, I want you to bark once.
Here, okay? Now, take a look at this.
Would you con? Concentrate? Uh, now, how about that? [BARKS.]
I was afraid of that.
All right, now, how? How about this one? [BARKS.]
Look, look, look.
Hey, look.
Oh, good, good.
That narrows it down.
Now, the only thing we really have to worry about is Dr.
Bellows.
What happened to your Great Dane? M-my? My Great Dane? Yes, uh, you're computing with him now? Computing? Oh, uh, oh, no, sir.
No, no, I was just thinking out loud.
Uh, he just wandered in.
He's a cute little fella.
[GROWLS FIERCELY.]
Then that's not your dog? No, no.
You're quite sure of that? Yes, of course.
Good, then I'll take him.
Oh, what for, sir? Well, uh, General Peterson and I are discussing sending a dog up into space, I I think we just found that dog.
[WHIMPERS.]
Thank you, sir.
[SIGHS.]
[.]
Roger Roger, into space! JEANNIE: Ooh Jeannie? Ooh-ooh-ooh Jeannie? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Hi.
Wha? Oh, hello, master.
They're sending Roger into orbit.
Oh, is that not what an astronaut is supposed to do? [CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
Not with his tail wagging.
Why did you do this to him? I-I-I cannot tell you.
Did he do anything to hurt your feelings? No, master.
Well, I'm sure Roger would never do anything to hurt me.
Oh, of course not, master.
Then what is it?! Well, I-I will tell you after 6:00.
Six o'clock is gonna be too late.
I wanna know right now.
May I have a minute to think? Yes.
I am sorry, Major Healey.
Fine friend of a friend you turned out to be.
I had to do it.
Why? All I was trying to do was get him a date.
I mean, what's so terrible about that? Well, I-I was afraid that he might think his date was prettier than I am.
Boy, I've heard of insecure genies in my life, but you're ridiculous.
Well, y-you don't know how much I love Major Nelson.
All right.
We'll forget about it.
Do you mean that? Sure, I mean that.
I mean, who needs Miss Universe, anyway? What is she? Just another girl, right? Right.
She's probably very Very beautiful and very talented, or she wouldn't win the contest or wouldn't be in the contest, anyway, right? Right.
And she probably has a marvelous figure, right? Right.
And you want me to turn down a date with the most beautiful, talented girl in the whole world? You just said you do not care, that you would not ever Well, forget it.
Oh, please, Major Healey.
I will do anything you want.
I Forget it! [WHIMPERS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[SIGHS.]
Master.
Huh? I cannot do it.
Jeannie, you can't go around turning astronauts into French poodles.
Oh, yes, I can.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh, yeah, I know you can, but I don't want you to.
You wanna please me, don't you? Oh, yes, master.
I would do anything in the world for you.
Then change Roger back Except that.
Look, you can't let them send him up into orbit.
Please, not as a dog, not as a French poodle.
Oh, dear.
Oh, come on.
Now, what do you say, huh? Come on.
May I have another minute to think about it? Yes.
So did you bring any dog biscuits? Well, I'm truly sorry about this, Major Healey.
Well, then do me a favor, will you? Will you stop blinking your eyes and let me walk out of here on all twos? I want to But first you must promise not to make any more dates for Major Nelson.
Well, Jeannie, I wasn't planning on getting him married.
I mean, what are you getting so excited about, anyway? All we are gonna do is go out and have a Have a simple little dinner.
Anything wrong with that? Well, no.
Then I thought we'd go somewhere and, uh, well, maybe Maybe go dancing.
And is there anything wrong with that? No.
Well, then I thought maybe we could, uh Well, we'd drive down to the beach, and, uh park underneath the moon, and we'd turn on the radio for a little soft music.
And then? [SIGHS.]
[GASPS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Master.
Huh? I am sorry to have to tell you this.
You're sorry to have to tell me what? Your best friend is a poodle.
You mean, you are not gonna change him back? Oh, I cannot, master.
I don't wanna lose Roger.
Oh, and I don't want to lose you.
All right, there's only one thing I can do.
I'm gonna have to go to Dr.
Bellows and tell him the truth.
Oh, master, you cannot do that.
You will get into terrible trouble.
My best friend, the poodle, is already in terrible trouble.
How do I get him into these things? How do you get me into these things? [.]
Hello, Roger.
[WHINES.]
Or whatever your name is.
You have a secret, and we're going to find out what it is.
Yes, we're gonna find out what it is.
Uh, come in.
Good, he's still here.
You wanted to see me, Major Nelson? I wanted to see the two of you, sir.
The two of us? Yes, sir.
You can't send this dog into orbit, sir.
And why not, may I ask? Because This is Roger.
[WHIMPERS.]
I know.
Roger Rover.
No, sir.
Roger Roger.
I mean, Roger Healey.
Uh-uh.
Major, you're trying to do it to me again.
Oh, no.
No, I'm not trying to do anything to you, sir.
Y-you remember when you heard me trying to tell him about the solid fuel ratios? Mm-hm.
Well, the only other person in the world who knows that mathematical formula is Is Major Healey.
Yes? Well, that's why you can't send this dog into orbit.
But how can that? Well, I'm gonna have to tell you the whole story.
It's The whole story? Yes, it started about a year ago Don't say another word.
I'll be right back.
[WHIMPERS.]
I'm Dr.
Alfred Bellows.
Yes, sir.
And you're Major Nelson? Yes, sir.
And that's Major Healey? Yes, sir.
I'll be right back.
Don't go away, Major Healey.
Master.
[GROWLS FIERCELY.]
You will be thrown out of the space program.
Well, I I had no choice.
I told you I wasn't gonna let them put Do not talk like that, master.
Now, listen I "General Peterson, Major Roger Healey is a poodle dog.
" And then he'll say to me, "Come on, doctor.
" And then I'll say: "Sir, this time I've got the evidence.
"The dog is in my office.
"Major Nelson admits it's Major Healey, "and Major Healey is missing.
No one has seen him all day.
" And then he'll look at me, and he'll say: "A poodle dog? How do you explain that, doctor?" "Who can explain anything in the world of Major Nelson? You've got to see this for yourself, general.
" "I'm warning you, doctor, if this is another one of your fantasies" "Fantasies don't bark, general.
" Or do they? - Absolutely me wits' end.
- What are we gonna do? Well, I think you've done quite enough already.
[BARKS.]
Uh, oh I'm gonna have to tell him the truth.
What happens will happen.
You are so wonderful.
You know, of all the masters Oh, boy.
Major Nelson.
Oh, yes, sir? I came to take Major Poodle Uh, Major Healey.
- To see General Peterson.
- Where's the dog? The dog? Oh, there's the dog, sir.
Uh, he He knows who I am.
We've been friends a long time.
But you're a poodle.
Well, I've been called a sly dog before, but I mean a "poodle" poodle.
Where's that dog? Hm? Where's the dog? Oh, the dog? Well, the dog is, uh Oh, yes, the dog Well, it's, uh Oh, it's right there.
Oh, the dog.
It's the dog.
Thought you said He's white.
Before he was a gray poodle.
Before that it was a Great Dane.
I saw them.
The Great Dane, the gray poodle and now the white poodle.
And they're all Major Healey? Well, uh, no, not ex Don't say another word.
I am going home to lie down.
[.]
[SIGHS.]
I don't believe it.
You don't believe it? I don't believe it.
Oh.
Oh, thank you, Jeannie.
Well, I could not let you get into trouble.
You couldn't let me get into trouble?! Then why did you do this, anyway? Yeah.
Yeah, and you, uh, listen.
Tell me why she did this.
Do you know how much I have invested in you? Four hundred and fifty bucks.
Now, come on, clue me in.
Well, you see, there was this, uh, telephone call, see? And then, we, uh, had, uh Around the, uh Uh, go figure out a moody genie.
[.]
Jeannie.
You ready? Jeannie.
Coming, master.
Whoa.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yes, that's lovely.
Absolutely lovely.
Oh, I am glad, master.
Yeah.
I-I am looking forward to our date.
Me too.
Let us go.
Mm-hm.
[RINGING.]
Uh, just a minute.
Hello.
Oh, it's Major Nelson here.
No, n Major Healey's not here.
Who? Miss Universe? Oh he did? She didn't? She did.
Uh, yes, yes, I would be I would be honored to take you out to dinner, uh, both Major Healey and myself.
But Yeah, I'll pick you up in about a half an hour.
Well, uh If it's more convenient to meet here, it's fine.
I'll call Major Healey.
Y-ye Yes, I-I'm terribly sorry about the mix-up.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
Goodbye.
Jeannie.
You, uh, are not going to take me out to dinner tonight? I'm not gonna take you anywhere.
I won't be blackmailed.
Well, I only wanted to go out this one time.
Tonight was a very Yeah, well, I know exactly what you wanted, and now I know why you did that to Roger.
I won't be pushed around that easily.
I'm still the master around here.
Yes, master.
Uh, oh, Roger, how long would it take you to get in a dinner jacket and get over here? There you are.
[SIGHS.]
Thank you.
You sure this is all right with, uh, you-know-who, ahem? Absolutely.
It's my house.
I'm the master of it.
You're the master.
Isn't that right, Jeannie? Yes, master.
Good.
That's right.
[.]
Gee, I've never dated an astronaut before.
Well, neither have I.
Hey, does this dress look okay? Fine.
[SIGHS.]
[RINGS DOORBELL.]
They're here.
Yeah.
Uh, good night, Jeannie.
Don't wait up for me.
No, master.
Have a good time.
Oh, I will.
I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but I feel you really needed a lesson.
Yes, master.
You're really rough on her.
Sometimes you have to be.
Oh.
[DOG YIPPING.]
[DOGS YIPPING.]
[.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Master! [BUZZING.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Oh, m-master, someone is at the front door.
[CONTINUES BUZZING.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
ROGER: Tony! Anybody home? [SIGHS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Good morning, Major Healey.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Uh, where's Tony? Oh, Major Nelson is getting dressed.
Oh.
Would you like breakfast? No, I'm too excited to eat.
Phew.
Oh! Has something happened? Oh, I-I'll say.
I just got a call from a friend who handles the Miss Universe Beauty Contest.
Uh-huh.
He's gonna fix Tony and me up with a date with two of the contestants.
Oh! How about that? Ooh.
Uh, you want Major Nelson to go out with a beautiful girl tonight? Yeah, I gotta let him Let him know by 6:00.
Oh, but Major Nelson is taking me out to dinner.
Well, no offense, Jeannie, but, uh, Major Nelson can go out with you any night.
These girls are pretty special.
Phew.
Am I not special? Let's let Major Nelson decide who he's gonna take to dinner.
Oh, I I do not think so.
Jeannie, is that somebody at the door? Uh, no, master.
No? Hey, Tony, have I got news [BARKS.]
[WHINING.]
[.]
[.]
Come on, Major Healey, you are going for a little walk.
[BARKING.]
Jeannie, is that a dog? Go away, Major Healey.
Go away.
Go away.
Are you going to take me out to dinner tonight, master? Sure, of course.
We have a date, remember? Hah.
Well, I was not sure whether you remembered.
Yeah, I could of sworn I heard a dog barking in here.
Shall I wear this tonight, master? [GIGGLING.]
Hey, that's lovely.
Oh, I am glad that it pleases you, master.
Yeah.
Where's Roger? Roger? You know, Major Healey.
Major Healey? Yeah, what's goin' on around here anyhow? What's going on around here? Yeah.
Will you stop repeating everything I say? I I heard Roger's voice, and then I I I heard a dog bark Have you done something with Roger? Where should we go for dinner tonight? Where? Where's Major Healey? We can go dancing.
Now Answer my question, Jeannie.
Whe? Where's Major Healey? Now, come on.
Well, I do not know where Major Healey is, master.
Yeah, but he was here, though, wasn't he? Yes, master.
Who barked? Major Healey.
[LAUGHS.]
Jeannie, you turned Roger into a dog? Why did you do a thing like that? I thought you like Major Healey.
Oh, yes, master, I am very fond of him.
Wh-what made you do that? Well, I-I-I will tell you after 6:00.
Oh, no, Jeannie, you're gonna tell me right now.
I want you to change him back into Into Roger.
Ch Come on.
Oh, but I told you, master, I do not know where he is.
But, Jeannie, what's the matter? Well, he He ran out the front door.
Well, he hadn't had a chance to go very far.
Honestly, I Sometimes I can't understand you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hey, Roge.
Roge.
Come here, boy.
Come here.
Good morning, Major Nelson.
Oh, good morning.
What's the matter? Did you lose somebody? Oh, yes.
I lost my dog.
Roger? Yes, have you seen him? Well, I don't know.
What kind of a dog is he? Oh, he's a Uh Major, you don't know what kind of dog you've got? Uh, he's new.
Oh, well, did he have a license? I doubt it, why? Because if you didn't, you better get another dog.
The truck from the dog pound was just here.
The dog pound? Oh, yes, they're very strict about dogs roaming around Cocoa Beach.
Well, what'll they do to him? Don't ask.
[.]
[.]
[BARKING.]
Roger? Roger? Roger, come on.
Roger Healey? [WHISTLING.]
Can I help you? Uh, oh, ye I lost my dog.
Roger? Is he in here? I'll tell you in a minute.
Roger, now, come on.
Hey, come on.
Uh, don't be scared.
It's me.
Roge, come on, now.
I'm here, fella.
Uh, what kind of a dog is he? Uh, well, he's not any special kind of dog.
He's a Roge? Come on.
Come on It's kind of a dog's dog, you know.
Uh, Roge? Roge? Come on, stop fooling around.
Look, mister, if you don't know what kind of a dog you got, I I can't help you.
Uh, c Come on, Roger.
Look, Roger, I I don't blame you for being angry, but Uh I had nothing to do with this.
Look, whichever one of you is Roger, will you speak up? [BARKING.]
Uh, yeah, I might of known it was you.
Uh, sir I found my dog.
Which one is he? That one.
The Great Dane? Yeah.
And you couldn't pick him out? [WHIMPERING.]
Well, it, uh Would you mind just letting him out, please? Are you're sure he's yours? Absolutely.
Joe, the Great Dane.
Yeah.
Uh, he's been in the family for years.
[DOG BARKS.]
Cute little fella, huh? Hey, you're a cute little fella.
Hi there.
[WHIMPERING.]
You'll have to sign for him.
Yeah, oh.
And that will be $5.
Thank you.
Five dollars? All right.
Here you are, and, uh, here's your $5, and thanks a million.
Yeah, you better get him a license.
[SCREAMS.]
[.]
Come on.
Come on.
[MUTTERING.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Jeannie, where are you? Jeannie? Hey, will you stop that.
I'm gonna get you straightened out just as soon as I can find Jeannie.
Now, look, pull yourself together, will ya? We have to have that input computer report on General Peterson's desk by 6:00.
I can't do it myself.
I don't have the sufficient data.
[GROWLS.]
Well, now, don't get mad at me.
I am the one who asked you to work last night, but, no, no, you were too busy.
You were And now look at the shape Just look at the shape you're in.
Boy, if it's not one thing with you, it's another.
If it's not Good Good morning.
Good morning, sir.
How? Uh, good morning.
That Great Dane is gonna help you with your input computer report, major? Oh, no, of course not, sir.
Rover's just a dog.
You called him Roger.
Yea Roger Rover, I named him after Major Healey.
Interesting.
[GIGGLING.]
Uh, where is Major Healey? Oh, I have a feeling he's not too far away, sir.
He's not in his office.
Tell him that General Peterson is very anxious that that report be on his desk by 6:00.
I've told him.
I-I mean, I'll tell him.
I'll see you at the base.
[DOG BARKS.]
Hm.
Oh, and by the way don't bring Rover.
[GIGGLING.]
Oh, go ahead.
Go ahead.
Enjoy yourself.
Enjoy I-I want you to turn this dog right back into Roger right now.
Come on.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh.
I am afraid I cannot do that, master.
Wh? Why not? Because this is not Major Healey.
[LAUGHING.]
You have the wrong dog.
Are you sure? Oh, yes, master.
Major Healey is a teeny, weeny French poodle.
Come on, let's go.
Oh, where are we going, master? We're going back to the dog pound before it's too late.
Come on.
Oh, you go, master.
I have some ironing to do.
Come on.
Oh! Jeannie! Come back here, Jeannie.
Come on, Roger's a friend of yours, and he's in trouble.
And if we don't get that That report on General Peterson's desk by 6:00, we're all gonna be in trouble.
Come on, Jeannie.
Come on, boy.
[.]
Something the matter? Yeah, uh, this isn't my dog.
It isn't? No, no, it just looks like my dog.
Joe.
[DOG BARKING.]
Hey, there's my dog.
There's Roger.
You couldn't tell that from that? Uh, I'm nearsighted.
Hi, Roge, how are you? Hi.
Come here, boy.
Hey, what do you think you're doin'? Oh, uh, this is my dog.
No, it ain't.
I just bought it for my kid.
Well, I'm I'm afraid you're gonna have to un-buy him, because it's It's my dog.
Does this dog belong to me or don't he? He does now.
Why don't you pick another one.
They all look alike to you, anyway.
I don't want another one.
I want this one.
I want Roger.
[WHIMPERING.]
It's all right, Roger.
I'm here.
Let's go, kid.
Just wait a minute, please.
You heard what the man said.
It's my dog.
Yeah, look, this-the dog's been in my family for over 10 years, uh He looks like a puppy.
Oh, no, no, he's old Old and And And sick.
Oh, boy, is he sick.
[GROWLS FIERCELY.]
I want him.
What my son wants, he gets.
I'll tell you what.
I'll pay you.
I'll give you $10 for him.
Let's go, kid.
Twenty dollars? Nope, money don't interest me.
Fifty dollars? You're getting warmer.
There you are.
Four hundred and fifty dollars.
You sure must be crazy about that dog.
Yeah, believe me, you have no idea.
Come on, boy.
There we are.
Oh, come on, Roge, knock it off, will ya? Everybody's watchin'.
I want him, Papa.
Well, uh, if If you'll excuse me.
[.]
Uh, thank you Thanks again.
Roger and I have a lot to do.
The first thing he should do is get his eyes examined.
[.]
[WHISTLING.]
I'm sorry about this, Roger, but I think it's just as well that nobody knows you are here except me, huh? Listen, uh, I'll have Jeannie turn you back, uh, to your normal self just as soon as we get through with this report.
Now, here's the problem.
I'm having a little A little difficulty with the solid fuel ratios.
Well, actually, it's the, uh, convertible fuel ratios that are giving me the trouble.
Now, if they're right, I want you to bark once.
Here, okay? Now, take a look at this.
Would you con? Concentrate? Uh, now, how about that? [BARKS.]
I was afraid of that.
All right, now, how? How about this one? [BARKS.]
Look, look, look.
Hey, look.
Oh, good, good.
That narrows it down.
Now, the only thing we really have to worry about is Dr.
Bellows.
What happened to your Great Dane? M-my? My Great Dane? Yes, uh, you're computing with him now? Computing? Oh, uh, oh, no, sir.
No, no, I was just thinking out loud.
Uh, he just wandered in.
He's a cute little fella.
[GROWLS FIERCELY.]
Then that's not your dog? No, no.
You're quite sure of that? Yes, of course.
Good, then I'll take him.
Oh, what for, sir? Well, uh, General Peterson and I are discussing sending a dog up into space, I I think we just found that dog.
[WHIMPERS.]
Thank you, sir.
[SIGHS.]
[.]
Roger Roger, into space! JEANNIE: Ooh Jeannie? Ooh-ooh-ooh Jeannie? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Hi.
Wha? Oh, hello, master.
They're sending Roger into orbit.
Oh, is that not what an astronaut is supposed to do? [CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
Not with his tail wagging.
Why did you do this to him? I-I-I cannot tell you.
Did he do anything to hurt your feelings? No, master.
Well, I'm sure Roger would never do anything to hurt me.
Oh, of course not, master.
Then what is it?! Well, I-I will tell you after 6:00.
Six o'clock is gonna be too late.
I wanna know right now.
May I have a minute to think? Yes.
I am sorry, Major Healey.
Fine friend of a friend you turned out to be.
I had to do it.
Why? All I was trying to do was get him a date.
I mean, what's so terrible about that? Well, I-I was afraid that he might think his date was prettier than I am.
Boy, I've heard of insecure genies in my life, but you're ridiculous.
Well, y-you don't know how much I love Major Nelson.
All right.
We'll forget about it.
Do you mean that? Sure, I mean that.
I mean, who needs Miss Universe, anyway? What is she? Just another girl, right? Right.
She's probably very Very beautiful and very talented, or she wouldn't win the contest or wouldn't be in the contest, anyway, right? Right.
And she probably has a marvelous figure, right? Right.
And you want me to turn down a date with the most beautiful, talented girl in the whole world? You just said you do not care, that you would not ever Well, forget it.
Oh, please, Major Healey.
I will do anything you want.
I Forget it! [WHIMPERS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[SIGHS.]
Master.
Huh? I cannot do it.
Jeannie, you can't go around turning astronauts into French poodles.
Oh, yes, I can.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh, yeah, I know you can, but I don't want you to.
You wanna please me, don't you? Oh, yes, master.
I would do anything in the world for you.
Then change Roger back Except that.
Look, you can't let them send him up into orbit.
Please, not as a dog, not as a French poodle.
Oh, dear.
Oh, come on.
Now, what do you say, huh? Come on.
May I have another minute to think about it? Yes.
So did you bring any dog biscuits? Well, I'm truly sorry about this, Major Healey.
Well, then do me a favor, will you? Will you stop blinking your eyes and let me walk out of here on all twos? I want to But first you must promise not to make any more dates for Major Nelson.
Well, Jeannie, I wasn't planning on getting him married.
I mean, what are you getting so excited about, anyway? All we are gonna do is go out and have a Have a simple little dinner.
Anything wrong with that? Well, no.
Then I thought we'd go somewhere and, uh, well, maybe Maybe go dancing.
And is there anything wrong with that? No.
Well, then I thought maybe we could, uh Well, we'd drive down to the beach, and, uh park underneath the moon, and we'd turn on the radio for a little soft music.
And then? [SIGHS.]
[GASPS.]
[WHIMPERING.]
Master.
Huh? I am sorry to have to tell you this.
You're sorry to have to tell me what? Your best friend is a poodle.
You mean, you are not gonna change him back? Oh, I cannot, master.
I don't wanna lose Roger.
Oh, and I don't want to lose you.
All right, there's only one thing I can do.
I'm gonna have to go to Dr.
Bellows and tell him the truth.
Oh, master, you cannot do that.
You will get into terrible trouble.
My best friend, the poodle, is already in terrible trouble.
How do I get him into these things? How do you get me into these things? [.]
Hello, Roger.
[WHINES.]
Or whatever your name is.
You have a secret, and we're going to find out what it is.
Yes, we're gonna find out what it is.
Uh, come in.
Good, he's still here.
You wanted to see me, Major Nelson? I wanted to see the two of you, sir.
The two of us? Yes, sir.
You can't send this dog into orbit, sir.
And why not, may I ask? Because This is Roger.
[WHIMPERS.]
I know.
Roger Rover.
No, sir.
Roger Roger.
I mean, Roger Healey.
Uh-uh.
Major, you're trying to do it to me again.
Oh, no.
No, I'm not trying to do anything to you, sir.
Y-you remember when you heard me trying to tell him about the solid fuel ratios? Mm-hm.
Well, the only other person in the world who knows that mathematical formula is Is Major Healey.
Yes? Well, that's why you can't send this dog into orbit.
But how can that? Well, I'm gonna have to tell you the whole story.
It's The whole story? Yes, it started about a year ago Don't say another word.
I'll be right back.
[WHIMPERS.]
I'm Dr.
Alfred Bellows.
Yes, sir.
And you're Major Nelson? Yes, sir.
And that's Major Healey? Yes, sir.
I'll be right back.
Don't go away, Major Healey.
Master.
[GROWLS FIERCELY.]
You will be thrown out of the space program.
Well, I I had no choice.
I told you I wasn't gonna let them put Do not talk like that, master.
Now, listen I "General Peterson, Major Roger Healey is a poodle dog.
" And then he'll say to me, "Come on, doctor.
" And then I'll say: "Sir, this time I've got the evidence.
"The dog is in my office.
"Major Nelson admits it's Major Healey, "and Major Healey is missing.
No one has seen him all day.
" And then he'll look at me, and he'll say: "A poodle dog? How do you explain that, doctor?" "Who can explain anything in the world of Major Nelson? You've got to see this for yourself, general.
" "I'm warning you, doctor, if this is another one of your fantasies" "Fantasies don't bark, general.
" Or do they? - Absolutely me wits' end.
- What are we gonna do? Well, I think you've done quite enough already.
[BARKS.]
Uh, oh I'm gonna have to tell him the truth.
What happens will happen.
You are so wonderful.
You know, of all the masters Oh, boy.
Major Nelson.
Oh, yes, sir? I came to take Major Poodle Uh, Major Healey.
- To see General Peterson.
- Where's the dog? The dog? Oh, there's the dog, sir.
Uh, he He knows who I am.
We've been friends a long time.
But you're a poodle.
Well, I've been called a sly dog before, but I mean a "poodle" poodle.
Where's that dog? Hm? Where's the dog? Oh, the dog? Well, the dog is, uh Oh, yes, the dog Well, it's, uh Oh, it's right there.
Oh, the dog.
It's the dog.
Thought you said He's white.
Before he was a gray poodle.
Before that it was a Great Dane.
I saw them.
The Great Dane, the gray poodle and now the white poodle.
And they're all Major Healey? Well, uh, no, not ex Don't say another word.
I am going home to lie down.
[.]
[SIGHS.]
I don't believe it.
You don't believe it? I don't believe it.
Oh.
Oh, thank you, Jeannie.
Well, I could not let you get into trouble.
You couldn't let me get into trouble?! Then why did you do this, anyway? Yeah.
Yeah, and you, uh, listen.
Tell me why she did this.
Do you know how much I have invested in you? Four hundred and fifty bucks.
Now, come on, clue me in.
Well, you see, there was this, uh, telephone call, see? And then, we, uh, had, uh Around the, uh Uh, go figure out a moody genie.
[.]
Jeannie.
You ready? Jeannie.
Coming, master.
Whoa.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yes, that's lovely.
Absolutely lovely.
Oh, I am glad, master.
Yeah.
I-I am looking forward to our date.
Me too.
Let us go.
Mm-hm.
[RINGING.]
Uh, just a minute.
Hello.
Oh, it's Major Nelson here.
No, n Major Healey's not here.
Who? Miss Universe? Oh he did? She didn't? She did.
Uh, yes, yes, I would be I would be honored to take you out to dinner, uh, both Major Healey and myself.
But Yeah, I'll pick you up in about a half an hour.
Well, uh If it's more convenient to meet here, it's fine.
I'll call Major Healey.
Y-ye Yes, I-I'm terribly sorry about the mix-up.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
Goodbye.
Jeannie.
You, uh, are not going to take me out to dinner tonight? I'm not gonna take you anywhere.
I won't be blackmailed.
Well, I only wanted to go out this one time.
Tonight was a very Yeah, well, I know exactly what you wanted, and now I know why you did that to Roger.
I won't be pushed around that easily.
I'm still the master around here.
Yes, master.
Uh, oh, Roger, how long would it take you to get in a dinner jacket and get over here? There you are.
[SIGHS.]
Thank you.
You sure this is all right with, uh, you-know-who, ahem? Absolutely.
It's my house.
I'm the master of it.
You're the master.
Isn't that right, Jeannie? Yes, master.
Good.
That's right.
[.]
Gee, I've never dated an astronaut before.
Well, neither have I.
Hey, does this dress look okay? Fine.
[SIGHS.]
[RINGS DOORBELL.]
They're here.
Yeah.
Uh, good night, Jeannie.
Don't wait up for me.
No, master.
Have a good time.
Oh, I will.
I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but I feel you really needed a lesson.
Yes, master.
You're really rough on her.
Sometimes you have to be.
Oh.
[DOG YIPPING.]
[DOGS YIPPING.]
[.]