I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s02e23 Episode Script
The Greatest Entertainer in the World
[.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Good morning, Major Healey.
Hi, Jeannie.
Uh, where's Tony? He asked me to pick him up.
Oh, he overslept.
Would you like a cup of coffee while you're waiting? No, I'm in a hurry.
I Why? Well, Friday is General Peterson's and, uh, well, Dr.
Bellows wants to put on this show.
And I have to find somebody to take charge of the entertainment committee.
Oh, Major Nelson is very good at being in charge of things.
Well, it's not a matter of that.
You gotta know somebody that's in show business.
You gotta have somebody that has a big act.
He doesn't know anybody in show business at all.
I will help him.
Well, you co No.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He doesn't like you helping him.
Don't do it.
How would it look if some other master's genie was in charge? Yeah, I see what you mean.
No! No, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He would enjoy himself.
Forget Not me.
No.
He may not think so, but he would enjoy himself a great That's out.
Major Healey, if Major Nelson is not put in charge, I can promise you that on the night of General Peterson's party, there will be a terrible hurricane.
[.]
The night of the party? And a tidal wave.
General Peterson's party? And a typhoon.
And we'll all be sitting around having cocktails? Hm.
Well, I guess that's it.
Ha-ha-ha.
I guess we found the new head of our committee.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh.
And, shh, not a word to Major Nelson.
Yeah, not a word.
Shh.
Yeah, not a word.
Oh, boy.
Guess I'll be Oh, hi, Roge.
I'm sorry.
I overslept.
Do you know something? Huh, what? You should've stayed in bed.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Frankly, Major Healey, I would never have thought of Major Nelson for this.
Ah, well, frankly, neither did I, sir.
It just came to me out of the blue.
Do you think he can get a top entertainer for Friday evening? Well, if he can't, he knows someone who can.
Uh, he's really quite anxious to head the committee, though.
Oh, strange.
He never said a word to me about it.
Well, you know how modest Tony is.
But he'll come up with someone great.
Ah, Major Nelson.
Yes.
I just want to express my appreciation.
Your appreciation, sir? For volunteering to take charge of General Peterson's party.
I haven't had a chance to tell you that For volunteering to take? Uh, Major Healey told me how anxious you are to do it.
Oh, Major Healey told you that, did he? Thanks.
We were considering using some of the amateur talent around here, but with all the people in show business you know, that won't be necessary, will it? People in show business I I told you he's modest.
Ha-ha-ha.
I don't know one single person in the entertainment That's right.
Most of them are married.
Well, it's in your hands now, Major Nelson.
This is one of the most important evenings in General Peterson's life.
Oh, and, uh, may I just say one thing? Yes, sir.
Don't let me down.
[.]
Yes, sir.
[.]
Why? Well, if you're not the head of the entertainment committee during General Peterson's party, there's going to be a hurricane, a tidal wave and a typhoon.
Jeannie.
Jeannie did that? Not so loud.
Shh.
Don't get her mad, now.
Wh-why would she make you do that? Why? How would it look if some other genie's master got the job? I mean, all you have to do is get a great entertainer.
Oh, sure.
I don't know anybody in the entertainment field.
I just told Yeah, but Jeannie does.
Yeah, I'm sure she does.
I can just see her now.
Uh, uh, Shakespeare will come out and introduce Sarah Bernhardt, and then Ben Hur will do a little chariot race.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait a minute.
Then after Ben Hur, maybe some gladiators.
Wait a minute, you have the first act.
Oh.
You got the whole first act.
Now, I can't be the head of the entertainment committee.
Why not? Yeah, why not? I bet Jeannie knows a lot of people in show business.
Oh, yeah.
Of course.
I know hundreds, thousands.
Yeah? Didn't I tell you? What is show business? Jeannie, you You volunteered me for For For this.
What do I do for entertainment? Oh, that.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Yeah, that.
Well, we could start with a chariot race by Ben Hur and then some gladiators.
Well, I guess I better be running along.
Yeah, yeah.
A fine friend you turned out to be.
I really Are you very angry, master? Why did you do this to me? Well, I I thought you might like to do something nice for General Peterson.
Oh, I would.
I would.
But I don't know anything about entertainment.
Oh, well, I can get you.
Cleopatra's dancing girls.
Huh? They are the most No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I would like to help you Believe me, you've done enough.
Really.
Well, what will you do? I'll go to Miami.
You're going to run away? No.
I'm gonna go to Miami because a lot of big stars work down in Miami in hotels and nightclubs.
Maybe I can persuade one of them to come up to the space center.
Oh, you are brilliant, master.
[WHISTLES.]
Here we are.
Do you see anyone you know? No.
But I see somebody I'd like to have.
Ah, he'd never do it.
Who would never do it? One of the greatest entertainers in the world.
Sammy Davis Jr.
Oh.
Is he better than Ben Hur? [.]
Sammy Davis Jr.
? Do you think you can really get him? Well, I don't know, Roge.
Um, he He's doing a show in a hotel in Miami.
I'm going down there tonight to see if I can talk to him.
Oh, you gonna take Jeannie? [LAUGHING.]
Are you kidding? She'll never let you go without her.
She's not gonna know about it.
How are you gonna manage that? Well, don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.
There's Dr.
Bellows.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
Good luck.
BELLOWS: Oh, uh, here are some research books.
The new auditory charts.
I thought you and Major Nelson might like to look them over before the test tomorrow.
Well, I better look them over myself, sir.
I don't think he's going to be back.
You see, he went down to Miami.
May I ask why? Well, he went to get Sammy Davis Jr.
For General Peterson's party.
Sammy Davis Jr.
? You mean he's agreed to entertain for the general? Well, sir, I didn't say that That Oh, that's marvelous.
I happen to know that he's.
General Peterson's favorite performer.
Well, it's not all set Wait until I tell the general.
Oh, I wouldn't Oh, he's going to be very pleased.
Oh, uh, about those charts.
Look them over.
Yeah.
And, uh, here.
Sir? Oh, uh Sammy Davis Jr.
! Sir.
Wait.
Wait.
Sir.
Me and my big mouth! [.]
Oh, are you ready for bed, master? Oh, yeah It is so early.
Oh, e-early? Oh, no, it's 10:00.
Ten o'clock? Yeah.
Why, I thought it was only 8:00.
My hourglass must be slow.
Mm-hm.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah, probably.
Well, I've had a pretty hard day.
I'm I'm gonna get to bed.
You better get to bed too.
Good night.
[YAWNS.]
Good night, master.
Good night.
[.]
Hello.
Heh.
Good night.
Good night, master.
[YAWNS.]
[.]
All right, testing, testing.
One, two, three.
Ah, there it goes.
Now, guys, if we can take it one more time, I got the tape recorder Sam.
We've been rehearsing for three hours.
I know you're the boss, but you're gonna kill yourself.
George, if I gotta go, will you let it be in the key of G.
Okay? Let's sing.
Sammy, he's right.
If you don't rest, you're gonna have a nervous breakdown.
"Nervous breakdown.
" That's all I ever hear from you.
Do me a favor and take care of the money.
Let me take care of the arrangements.
Come on, once again, huh, George? Nice and light, now.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
[SCATTING.]
[PLAYING SOFT JAZZ MUSIC.]
Yeah.
Can I help you? Uh, yeah, I'd like to speak to Mr.
Davis, please.
Sure.
One moment.
The girl from Ipanema Goes walking And when she passes Each time she passes I go Now, oh, oh, oh.
Can I help you? It's not happening.
Oh, yes, I'd like to speak to Mr.
Davis.
No, I'm sorry.
He's rehearsing.
Perhaps I could help you.
I'm his manager.
Oh, yes, certainly, um Well, I'd like to speak to him about the possibility of doing a performance at, uh, Cape Kennedy.
General Peterson is celebrating his 10th year as a general.
Oh, Sammy loves to do benefits.
Oh, good, good.
That's good.
But this is not exactly a benefit.
It more or less falls under the heading of "saving my life.
" What night is it? Oh, it's, uh, Friday night.
Uh, Friday night.
I could send a car down for him.
Oh, I'm afraid Sammy couldn't get away.
He does two shows a night here.
Oh, well.
Then maybe I could send a jet.
Mister.
Mister Well, unless you could postpone it.
Uh, until when? Well, let's see.
Sammy's first free day is, uh, May 15th.
May 15th? A year from May 15th.
He's booked solid.
Oh, I see.
SAMMY: Oh, oh, oh.
Well, thank you.
It was worth a try.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Well, who shall I tell him called? Oh, uh, the late Major Anthony Nelson.
[LAUGHS.]
SAMMY: One time.
Here we go.
One, two, three, four.
[BAND PLAYING SOFT JAZZ MUSIC.]
Tall and tan And young and lovely The girl from Ipanema Goes walking And when she passes Each time she passes I go, "Ahhh" When she walks It's like the samba That sways so cool And swings so gentle That when she passes Each time she passes I go, "Ahhh" But I watch her so gladly H-h-h-how can I tell her I love her? Gee, I would give My heart gladly But each day when she walks To the sea She looks straight ahead Not at me Tall and tan And young and lovely The girl from Ipanema Goes walking And when she passes I smile But she doesn't see She ain't looking at me [SCATTING.]
She ain't looking at me [SCATS.]
She ain't looking at me It's not me That she will ever see Ah Well, it ain't the Monkees, but it'll have to do.
Hey, John and Michael, why don't you go get some coffee in the kitchen.
I know it took a long time, but you see? Practice makes perfect.
Okay, Sam.
Oh, look, Sam.
Yeah? You will try to get a little sleep before the show tonight? Sure, I'll take a nap.
Don't worry about it.
And you go in the kitchen and eat, 'cause you need it.
Hey, guess who was just here to see you.
Sapphire and her mama.
You're close.
Oh.
Major Anthony Nelson.
The astronaut? Mm-hm.
Well, where is he? Oh, he He left.
I told him you were rehearsing.
Oh, come on, Jim.
You're puttin' me on, man.
If that cat's not too busy to go to the moon for me, then I'm certainly not too busy to stop a rehearsal and see him.
Well Now, find him for me, will you? [SIGHS.]
Thank you, Jim.
It was your goof.
[.]
Look at you.
Just look at you.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Your master is exhausted.
And do you know why he is exhausted? Because he is worried.
And why is he worried? Because I cannot get Sammy Davis Jr.
for him.
You must do something about that.
[SIGHS.]
Right.
Well, I can't get over that.
Hah.
How about that, huh? Gee, I've met the queen of England, the president of the United States, and now I'm gonna meet a real live astronaut.
Oh, I I've heard of nervous breakdowns, but this is ridiculous.
Excuse me.
Heh.
A-are you the Mr.
Sammy Davis Jr.
? Well, I I was a few minutes ago.
I'm not feeling well now.
Oh, there's nothing to be worried about.
Oh.
My master is very anxious to meet you.
Your master? Mm-hm.
Excuse me, please.
Oh, and it looked so real too.
Master! Oh, master! Oh, master, I have some wonderful news News for you [GASPS.]
He tricked me.
Oh.
I am terribly sorry, but my master is gone.
Hah, well, don't you worry about that, ma'am.
I I'm a little gone myself.
Well, it was It was nice meeting you.
I'm having a nervous breakdown.
I'm sorry, Sam.
I couldn't catch Major Nelson.
Jim, George, piano.
I'm back.
Back where? You know something? You're right.
I've been working much too hard.
You know the Copa date? Break it.
Break it? Listen to me.
When I start to see harem girls and disappearing masters, then it's time for me to take a rest.
Now, you find me a sanitarium in the country somewhere where it's nothing but trees around, right? Dig? Do that! Sammy, you're booked.
Jim, would you do me a favor and just do it! Okay.
Dr.
Mallard ought to be able to tell us where to go.
Yeah, I guess so.
How long do you wanna stay? Oh, I don't know.
Three months.
Three months? All right, make it a month.
You couldn't sit still for a month.
You know something, you're right.
You should make it a week.
A week.
Jim.
Jim, hold on.
Now, let's not get carried away, see? Let's not put it too far out in the country.
Maybe we could find a little place that has a combo and a little dance floor, huh? A sanitarium with a combo and a dance floor? Sure, and on top of the roof, maybe a discotheque, where the chicks are doing the monkey and the boogaloo.
Boo-boo-ga-la-loo Hey, go-go girls? Dance hall? That sounds like the Copa to me, fellas.
Hey, you know somethin'? George is right.
He's absolutely right.
Hang up the phone.
We'll keep the Copa date.
[SCOFFS.]
Can you imagine a man? [CHUCKLES.]
It is rather amusing, believe me.
I saw a harem girl, disappearing master.
[LAUGHING.]
[SOBBING.]
It was so real to me.
[.]
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Ah! All right, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Jeannie.
Why did you sneak away, master? Well, I, uh I had some personal business to take care of.
Through the window? Yeah, well Well, while you were gone, do you know who was here? I had to meet a man [IN UNISON.]
Sammy Davis Jr.
Well, how did you know? Well, I-I-I just told you.
He He was here.
Oh, no, he couldn't have been here.
I just left him in Miami.
You? You didn't bring him here? Now, tell me you didn't.
Please, say you didn't bring him here.
Well, how did I know you were going to sneak out the window? Would you like me to blink him back, master? No, no.
It wouldn't do any good anyway.
He has two performances a night.
What will you do, master? Well, I'll just have to get somebody else.
He's not the only entertainer in the world, you know.
Well, he may not be the only entertainer in the world, but he's certainly the greatest.
Yeah, Roger, it's It's not the entertainment that's the important thing.
It's the The spirit of the occasion that counts.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Hello, Tony, Roger.
Sir.
General.
Dr.
Bellows told me what you're doing, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate it.
Oh, it's my pleasure, sir.
Well, this has got to be a great show.
Uh, yes, Roger and I were just talking about the entertainment, weren't we? Well, it's not the entertainment that's important, Tony.
It's the spirit of the occasion that counts.
Yes.
Well, to think that the men would care enough to do a thing like this.
Well, that's the most important thing, sir.
Ha-ha.
You couldn't have done anything that would make me happier.
I first saw him the same day I got my first star.
Eh, saw who, sir? Sammy Davis Jr.
That's a day I'll never forget.
We went to see his show that night.
And when Dr.
Bellows told me that you'd arranged to have him sing a number for me Friday night, it really brought a lump to my throat.
Ahem.
I'm a little choked up myself, sir.
I'll never forget this, Tony.
I can hardly wait till Friday night.
[.]
This could break General Peterson's heart.
Oh, master, why do you not think before you get into these things.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
I know.
Why do we not talk to Mr.
Sammy Davis.
Ah, beca I told you, Jeannie.
He does two shows a night.
He's a very busy man.
When he's up on stage And I didn't even I I came [LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, yeah.
It's happening again.
You're Major Nelson? [LAUGHING.]
Yeah, that's right.
Don't worry about it, major.
We're both cracking up at the same time.
We're sharing the same nervous breakdown.
Oh, no, you are not having a nervous breakdown.
I will tell you I'll tell him.
I'll tell him.
Please, sit.
Yes.
Ahem.
Now, Mr.
Davis, uh, this is not gonna be easy.
Ah, I I'll tell you what.
Let me help you.
It's a It's a time machine, right? No, no.
It's not a time machine.
No, it's Ah, you both are putting me on? Putting you? Oh, no, no.
I'm not putting you on.
I Eh, well, I tell you I tell you what, major.
Suppose you don't even mention it to me.
Don't tell me what it is because it would only make me, see, so nervous I'd go out of my mind.
I don't have to tell you how top-secret this is.
Oh.
My lips are sealed.
Good.
[LAUGHS.]
Who is she? Oh, I'm his My assistant.
Nothing's too good for our boys in the service.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, that's Very good.
Master Yes.
As long as you have him here, why don't you tell him about the party.
About the what? The party.
Oh, yes, yes.
Uh, ah, General Peterson is having a little celebration Friday.
Uh-huh.
He's a very big fan of yours, Mr.
Davis.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
Well, we were wondering if you could do Maybe give a little performance for us.
Maybe a little number? Oh, I spoke to Jim about that, and we tried to work it out, but unfortunately, it can't be done.
Well, I figured it out.
We could have a jet pick you up and Major, I would love to.
I really mean I'd love to be there, but unfortunately Well, let me put it this way.
If I could, I would.
Would you really? Yes, of course.
I think I can arrange it.
Now Now, wait a minute.
Don't get involved.
Now, Jeannie.
Now, please.
See? What are you doing here? My lips are sealed.
Sounds great.
[.]
Hey, you are a wonderful audience.
You're definitely an 83.
Thank you.
You're really great.
Thank you so much.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the management takes great pleasure and definite pride to introduce to you all here at Cape Kennedy one of America's greatest entertainers Mr.
Sammy Davis Jr.
! Yeah! [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE.]
Thank you.
Thank you very, very much.
Uh, general, major, ladies and gentlemen, may I simply say what a tremendous thrill it is to have the privilege of at least trying to entertain you this evening.
Thank you very, very much.
SAMMY: Fellas.
Look out, George.
Ha-ha-ha-ha [PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ.]
That old black magic Has me in its spell That old black magic That you weave so well Those icy fingers Up and down my spine Same old witchcraft When your eyes meet mine Same old tingle That I feel inside Then that elevator Starts its ride Down and down And down I go Round and round And cha-cha-cha Like a leaf That's caught In the tide I should stay away What can I do? I hear your name And I'm aflame Aflame With such a burning desire That only your kiss Can put out the fire You're the lover You're the lover You're the lover I have waited for You're the girl You're the one You're the chick That I was created for And every time Your lips meet mine Down I go All around I go Like a leaf A leaf That's caught in the tide I should stay away What can I do? I hear your name Zelda Schwartz, and I'm aflame Aflame with such A burning desire That only your kiss Kiss, kiss, kiss Can put out that fire 'Cause you're the lover Lover, lover That I have waited for You're the one You're the mate That I was created for And every time Your lips meet mine Oh, down and down And down I go Round and round And round I go In the spin Man, do I dig that spin I'm in Be-bo-be-bop-uh-oh That old black magic called "You're a dirty robber" Old black magic called "Hoo-ha, stay in the car" Old black magic called You four men go that way I'll take the buckboard Into town.
Under that old black magic Called love I can't tell you how I enjoyed your sensational performance.
We're certainly happy the hotel gave you the night off.
It was sure certainly nice of them.
Ha-ha.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.
SAMMY: Well, thank you, general.
PETERSON: I said it the first time and I'll say it again.
When you're up on that stage, you do the work of two people.
[SAMMY CHUCKLES.]
I really think it was the greatest evening in the general's life.
Oh, I am pleased that I was able to help you, master.
Yeah, well, after all, who got me into the situation in the first place? [DOORBELL RINGS.]
Ah, hey, stay out of sight, will you? Just Just stay there.
Huh? Oh, hi, Sammy.
Hi, Tony.
Well, we were just talking about how wonderful you were last night.
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I really appreciate what you did for us.
Then would you mind doing a little favor for me? Anything.
Anything at all? Oh, sure, anything.
[CHUCKLES.]
Get rid of him.
That old black magic Has me in its spell Ooh-ooh That old black magic That you weave so well [.]
[.]
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Good morning, Major Healey.
Hi, Jeannie.
Uh, where's Tony? He asked me to pick him up.
Oh, he overslept.
Would you like a cup of coffee while you're waiting? No, I'm in a hurry.
I Why? Well, Friday is General Peterson's and, uh, well, Dr.
Bellows wants to put on this show.
And I have to find somebody to take charge of the entertainment committee.
Oh, Major Nelson is very good at being in charge of things.
Well, it's not a matter of that.
You gotta know somebody that's in show business.
You gotta have somebody that has a big act.
He doesn't know anybody in show business at all.
I will help him.
Well, you co No.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He doesn't like you helping him.
Don't do it.
How would it look if some other master's genie was in charge? Yeah, I see what you mean.
No! No, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
He would enjoy himself.
Forget Not me.
No.
He may not think so, but he would enjoy himself a great That's out.
Major Healey, if Major Nelson is not put in charge, I can promise you that on the night of General Peterson's party, there will be a terrible hurricane.
[.]
The night of the party? And a tidal wave.
General Peterson's party? And a typhoon.
And we'll all be sitting around having cocktails? Hm.
Well, I guess that's it.
Ha-ha-ha.
I guess we found the new head of our committee.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh.
And, shh, not a word to Major Nelson.
Yeah, not a word.
Shh.
Yeah, not a word.
Oh, boy.
Guess I'll be Oh, hi, Roge.
I'm sorry.
I overslept.
Do you know something? Huh, what? You should've stayed in bed.
[.]
[.]
[.]
Frankly, Major Healey, I would never have thought of Major Nelson for this.
Ah, well, frankly, neither did I, sir.
It just came to me out of the blue.
Do you think he can get a top entertainer for Friday evening? Well, if he can't, he knows someone who can.
Uh, he's really quite anxious to head the committee, though.
Oh, strange.
He never said a word to me about it.
Well, you know how modest Tony is.
But he'll come up with someone great.
Ah, Major Nelson.
Yes.
I just want to express my appreciation.
Your appreciation, sir? For volunteering to take charge of General Peterson's party.
I haven't had a chance to tell you that For volunteering to take? Uh, Major Healey told me how anxious you are to do it.
Oh, Major Healey told you that, did he? Thanks.
We were considering using some of the amateur talent around here, but with all the people in show business you know, that won't be necessary, will it? People in show business I I told you he's modest.
Ha-ha-ha.
I don't know one single person in the entertainment That's right.
Most of them are married.
Well, it's in your hands now, Major Nelson.
This is one of the most important evenings in General Peterson's life.
Oh, and, uh, may I just say one thing? Yes, sir.
Don't let me down.
[.]
Yes, sir.
[.]
Why? Well, if you're not the head of the entertainment committee during General Peterson's party, there's going to be a hurricane, a tidal wave and a typhoon.
Jeannie.
Jeannie did that? Not so loud.
Shh.
Don't get her mad, now.
Wh-why would she make you do that? Why? How would it look if some other genie's master got the job? I mean, all you have to do is get a great entertainer.
Oh, sure.
I don't know anybody in the entertainment field.
I just told Yeah, but Jeannie does.
Yeah, I'm sure she does.
I can just see her now.
Uh, uh, Shakespeare will come out and introduce Sarah Bernhardt, and then Ben Hur will do a little chariot race.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait a minute.
Then after Ben Hur, maybe some gladiators.
Wait a minute, you have the first act.
Oh.
You got the whole first act.
Now, I can't be the head of the entertainment committee.
Why not? Yeah, why not? I bet Jeannie knows a lot of people in show business.
Oh, yeah.
Of course.
I know hundreds, thousands.
Yeah? Didn't I tell you? What is show business? Jeannie, you You volunteered me for For For this.
What do I do for entertainment? Oh, that.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Yeah, that.
Well, we could start with a chariot race by Ben Hur and then some gladiators.
Well, I guess I better be running along.
Yeah, yeah.
A fine friend you turned out to be.
I really Are you very angry, master? Why did you do this to me? Well, I I thought you might like to do something nice for General Peterson.
Oh, I would.
I would.
But I don't know anything about entertainment.
Oh, well, I can get you.
Cleopatra's dancing girls.
Huh? They are the most No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I would like to help you Believe me, you've done enough.
Really.
Well, what will you do? I'll go to Miami.
You're going to run away? No.
I'm gonna go to Miami because a lot of big stars work down in Miami in hotels and nightclubs.
Maybe I can persuade one of them to come up to the space center.
Oh, you are brilliant, master.
[WHISTLES.]
Here we are.
Do you see anyone you know? No.
But I see somebody I'd like to have.
Ah, he'd never do it.
Who would never do it? One of the greatest entertainers in the world.
Sammy Davis Jr.
Oh.
Is he better than Ben Hur? [.]
Sammy Davis Jr.
? Do you think you can really get him? Well, I don't know, Roge.
Um, he He's doing a show in a hotel in Miami.
I'm going down there tonight to see if I can talk to him.
Oh, you gonna take Jeannie? [LAUGHING.]
Are you kidding? She'll never let you go without her.
She's not gonna know about it.
How are you gonna manage that? Well, don't worry about it.
I'll think of something.
There's Dr.
Bellows.
I'll see you later.
Okay.
Good luck.
BELLOWS: Oh, uh, here are some research books.
The new auditory charts.
I thought you and Major Nelson might like to look them over before the test tomorrow.
Well, I better look them over myself, sir.
I don't think he's going to be back.
You see, he went down to Miami.
May I ask why? Well, he went to get Sammy Davis Jr.
For General Peterson's party.
Sammy Davis Jr.
? You mean he's agreed to entertain for the general? Well, sir, I didn't say that That Oh, that's marvelous.
I happen to know that he's.
General Peterson's favorite performer.
Well, it's not all set Wait until I tell the general.
Oh, I wouldn't Oh, he's going to be very pleased.
Oh, uh, about those charts.
Look them over.
Yeah.
And, uh, here.
Sir? Oh, uh Sammy Davis Jr.
! Sir.
Wait.
Wait.
Sir.
Me and my big mouth! [.]
Oh, are you ready for bed, master? Oh, yeah It is so early.
Oh, e-early? Oh, no, it's 10:00.
Ten o'clock? Yeah.
Why, I thought it was only 8:00.
My hourglass must be slow.
Mm-hm.
[LAUGHING.]
Yeah, probably.
Well, I've had a pretty hard day.
I'm I'm gonna get to bed.
You better get to bed too.
Good night.
[YAWNS.]
Good night, master.
Good night.
[.]
Hello.
Heh.
Good night.
Good night, master.
[YAWNS.]
[.]
All right, testing, testing.
One, two, three.
Ah, there it goes.
Now, guys, if we can take it one more time, I got the tape recorder Sam.
We've been rehearsing for three hours.
I know you're the boss, but you're gonna kill yourself.
George, if I gotta go, will you let it be in the key of G.
Okay? Let's sing.
Sammy, he's right.
If you don't rest, you're gonna have a nervous breakdown.
"Nervous breakdown.
" That's all I ever hear from you.
Do me a favor and take care of the money.
Let me take care of the arrangements.
Come on, once again, huh, George? Nice and light, now.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
[SCATTING.]
[PLAYING SOFT JAZZ MUSIC.]
Yeah.
Can I help you? Uh, yeah, I'd like to speak to Mr.
Davis, please.
Sure.
One moment.
The girl from Ipanema Goes walking And when she passes Each time she passes I go Now, oh, oh, oh.
Can I help you? It's not happening.
Oh, yes, I'd like to speak to Mr.
Davis.
No, I'm sorry.
He's rehearsing.
Perhaps I could help you.
I'm his manager.
Oh, yes, certainly, um Well, I'd like to speak to him about the possibility of doing a performance at, uh, Cape Kennedy.
General Peterson is celebrating his 10th year as a general.
Oh, Sammy loves to do benefits.
Oh, good, good.
That's good.
But this is not exactly a benefit.
It more or less falls under the heading of "saving my life.
" What night is it? Oh, it's, uh, Friday night.
Uh, Friday night.
I could send a car down for him.
Oh, I'm afraid Sammy couldn't get away.
He does two shows a night here.
Oh, well.
Then maybe I could send a jet.
Mister.
Mister Well, unless you could postpone it.
Uh, until when? Well, let's see.
Sammy's first free day is, uh, May 15th.
May 15th? A year from May 15th.
He's booked solid.
Oh, I see.
SAMMY: Oh, oh, oh.
Well, thank you.
It was worth a try.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
Well, who shall I tell him called? Oh, uh, the late Major Anthony Nelson.
[LAUGHS.]
SAMMY: One time.
Here we go.
One, two, three, four.
[BAND PLAYING SOFT JAZZ MUSIC.]
Tall and tan And young and lovely The girl from Ipanema Goes walking And when she passes Each time she passes I go, "Ahhh" When she walks It's like the samba That sways so cool And swings so gentle That when she passes Each time she passes I go, "Ahhh" But I watch her so gladly H-h-h-how can I tell her I love her? Gee, I would give My heart gladly But each day when she walks To the sea She looks straight ahead Not at me Tall and tan And young and lovely The girl from Ipanema Goes walking And when she passes I smile But she doesn't see She ain't looking at me [SCATTING.]
She ain't looking at me [SCATS.]
She ain't looking at me It's not me That she will ever see Ah Well, it ain't the Monkees, but it'll have to do.
Hey, John and Michael, why don't you go get some coffee in the kitchen.
I know it took a long time, but you see? Practice makes perfect.
Okay, Sam.
Oh, look, Sam.
Yeah? You will try to get a little sleep before the show tonight? Sure, I'll take a nap.
Don't worry about it.
And you go in the kitchen and eat, 'cause you need it.
Hey, guess who was just here to see you.
Sapphire and her mama.
You're close.
Oh.
Major Anthony Nelson.
The astronaut? Mm-hm.
Well, where is he? Oh, he He left.
I told him you were rehearsing.
Oh, come on, Jim.
You're puttin' me on, man.
If that cat's not too busy to go to the moon for me, then I'm certainly not too busy to stop a rehearsal and see him.
Well Now, find him for me, will you? [SIGHS.]
Thank you, Jim.
It was your goof.
[.]
Look at you.
Just look at you.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Your master is exhausted.
And do you know why he is exhausted? Because he is worried.
And why is he worried? Because I cannot get Sammy Davis Jr.
for him.
You must do something about that.
[SIGHS.]
Right.
Well, I can't get over that.
Hah.
How about that, huh? Gee, I've met the queen of England, the president of the United States, and now I'm gonna meet a real live astronaut.
Oh, I I've heard of nervous breakdowns, but this is ridiculous.
Excuse me.
Heh.
A-are you the Mr.
Sammy Davis Jr.
? Well, I I was a few minutes ago.
I'm not feeling well now.
Oh, there's nothing to be worried about.
Oh.
My master is very anxious to meet you.
Your master? Mm-hm.
Excuse me, please.
Oh, and it looked so real too.
Master! Oh, master! Oh, master, I have some wonderful news News for you [GASPS.]
He tricked me.
Oh.
I am terribly sorry, but my master is gone.
Hah, well, don't you worry about that, ma'am.
I I'm a little gone myself.
Well, it was It was nice meeting you.
I'm having a nervous breakdown.
I'm sorry, Sam.
I couldn't catch Major Nelson.
Jim, George, piano.
I'm back.
Back where? You know something? You're right.
I've been working much too hard.
You know the Copa date? Break it.
Break it? Listen to me.
When I start to see harem girls and disappearing masters, then it's time for me to take a rest.
Now, you find me a sanitarium in the country somewhere where it's nothing but trees around, right? Dig? Do that! Sammy, you're booked.
Jim, would you do me a favor and just do it! Okay.
Dr.
Mallard ought to be able to tell us where to go.
Yeah, I guess so.
How long do you wanna stay? Oh, I don't know.
Three months.
Three months? All right, make it a month.
You couldn't sit still for a month.
You know something, you're right.
You should make it a week.
A week.
Jim.
Jim, hold on.
Now, let's not get carried away, see? Let's not put it too far out in the country.
Maybe we could find a little place that has a combo and a little dance floor, huh? A sanitarium with a combo and a dance floor? Sure, and on top of the roof, maybe a discotheque, where the chicks are doing the monkey and the boogaloo.
Boo-boo-ga-la-loo Hey, go-go girls? Dance hall? That sounds like the Copa to me, fellas.
Hey, you know somethin'? George is right.
He's absolutely right.
Hang up the phone.
We'll keep the Copa date.
[SCOFFS.]
Can you imagine a man? [CHUCKLES.]
It is rather amusing, believe me.
I saw a harem girl, disappearing master.
[LAUGHING.]
[SOBBING.]
It was so real to me.
[.]
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
Ah! All right, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, Jeannie.
Why did you sneak away, master? Well, I, uh I had some personal business to take care of.
Through the window? Yeah, well Well, while you were gone, do you know who was here? I had to meet a man [IN UNISON.]
Sammy Davis Jr.
Well, how did you know? Well, I-I-I just told you.
He He was here.
Oh, no, he couldn't have been here.
I just left him in Miami.
You? You didn't bring him here? Now, tell me you didn't.
Please, say you didn't bring him here.
Well, how did I know you were going to sneak out the window? Would you like me to blink him back, master? No, no.
It wouldn't do any good anyway.
He has two performances a night.
What will you do, master? Well, I'll just have to get somebody else.
He's not the only entertainer in the world, you know.
Well, he may not be the only entertainer in the world, but he's certainly the greatest.
Yeah, Roger, it's It's not the entertainment that's the important thing.
It's the The spirit of the occasion that counts.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Hello, Tony, Roger.
Sir.
General.
Dr.
Bellows told me what you're doing, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate it.
Oh, it's my pleasure, sir.
Well, this has got to be a great show.
Uh, yes, Roger and I were just talking about the entertainment, weren't we? Well, it's not the entertainment that's important, Tony.
It's the spirit of the occasion that counts.
Yes.
Well, to think that the men would care enough to do a thing like this.
Well, that's the most important thing, sir.
Ha-ha.
You couldn't have done anything that would make me happier.
I first saw him the same day I got my first star.
Eh, saw who, sir? Sammy Davis Jr.
That's a day I'll never forget.
We went to see his show that night.
And when Dr.
Bellows told me that you'd arranged to have him sing a number for me Friday night, it really brought a lump to my throat.
Ahem.
I'm a little choked up myself, sir.
I'll never forget this, Tony.
I can hardly wait till Friday night.
[.]
This could break General Peterson's heart.
Oh, master, why do you not think before you get into these things.
Uh, yeah, yeah.
I know.
Why do we not talk to Mr.
Sammy Davis.
Ah, beca I told you, Jeannie.
He does two shows a night.
He's a very busy man.
When he's up on stage And I didn't even I I came [LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, yeah.
It's happening again.
You're Major Nelson? [LAUGHING.]
Yeah, that's right.
Don't worry about it, major.
We're both cracking up at the same time.
We're sharing the same nervous breakdown.
Oh, no, you are not having a nervous breakdown.
I will tell you I'll tell him.
I'll tell him.
Please, sit.
Yes.
Ahem.
Now, Mr.
Davis, uh, this is not gonna be easy.
Ah, I I'll tell you what.
Let me help you.
It's a It's a time machine, right? No, no.
It's not a time machine.
No, it's Ah, you both are putting me on? Putting you? Oh, no, no.
I'm not putting you on.
I Eh, well, I tell you I tell you what, major.
Suppose you don't even mention it to me.
Don't tell me what it is because it would only make me, see, so nervous I'd go out of my mind.
I don't have to tell you how top-secret this is.
Oh.
My lips are sealed.
Good.
[LAUGHS.]
Who is she? Oh, I'm his My assistant.
Nothing's too good for our boys in the service.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, that's Very good.
Master Yes.
As long as you have him here, why don't you tell him about the party.
About the what? The party.
Oh, yes, yes.
Uh, ah, General Peterson is having a little celebration Friday.
Uh-huh.
He's a very big fan of yours, Mr.
Davis.
Oh, well, thank you very much.
Well, we were wondering if you could do Maybe give a little performance for us.
Maybe a little number? Oh, I spoke to Jim about that, and we tried to work it out, but unfortunately, it can't be done.
Well, I figured it out.
We could have a jet pick you up and Major, I would love to.
I really mean I'd love to be there, but unfortunately Well, let me put it this way.
If I could, I would.
Would you really? Yes, of course.
I think I can arrange it.
Now Now, wait a minute.
Don't get involved.
Now, Jeannie.
Now, please.
See? What are you doing here? My lips are sealed.
Sounds great.
[.]
Hey, you are a wonderful audience.
You're definitely an 83.
Thank you.
You're really great.
Thank you so much.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the management takes great pleasure and definite pride to introduce to you all here at Cape Kennedy one of America's greatest entertainers Mr.
Sammy Davis Jr.
! Yeah! [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE.]
Thank you.
Thank you very, very much.
Uh, general, major, ladies and gentlemen, may I simply say what a tremendous thrill it is to have the privilege of at least trying to entertain you this evening.
Thank you very, very much.
SAMMY: Fellas.
Look out, George.
Ha-ha-ha-ha [PLAYING UPBEAT JAZZ.]
That old black magic Has me in its spell That old black magic That you weave so well Those icy fingers Up and down my spine Same old witchcraft When your eyes meet mine Same old tingle That I feel inside Then that elevator Starts its ride Down and down And down I go Round and round And cha-cha-cha Like a leaf That's caught In the tide I should stay away What can I do? I hear your name And I'm aflame Aflame With such a burning desire That only your kiss Can put out the fire You're the lover You're the lover You're the lover I have waited for You're the girl You're the one You're the chick That I was created for And every time Your lips meet mine Down I go All around I go Like a leaf A leaf That's caught in the tide I should stay away What can I do? I hear your name Zelda Schwartz, and I'm aflame Aflame with such A burning desire That only your kiss Kiss, kiss, kiss Can put out that fire 'Cause you're the lover Lover, lover That I have waited for You're the one You're the mate That I was created for And every time Your lips meet mine Oh, down and down And down I go Round and round And round I go In the spin Man, do I dig that spin I'm in Be-bo-be-bop-uh-oh That old black magic called "You're a dirty robber" Old black magic called "Hoo-ha, stay in the car" Old black magic called You four men go that way I'll take the buckboard Into town.
Under that old black magic Called love I can't tell you how I enjoyed your sensational performance.
We're certainly happy the hotel gave you the night off.
It was sure certainly nice of them.
Ha-ha.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.
SAMMY: Well, thank you, general.
PETERSON: I said it the first time and I'll say it again.
When you're up on that stage, you do the work of two people.
[SAMMY CHUCKLES.]
I really think it was the greatest evening in the general's life.
Oh, I am pleased that I was able to help you, master.
Yeah, well, after all, who got me into the situation in the first place? [DOORBELL RINGS.]
Ah, hey, stay out of sight, will you? Just Just stay there.
Huh? Oh, hi, Sammy.
Hi, Tony.
Well, we were just talking about how wonderful you were last night.
Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I really appreciate what you did for us.
Then would you mind doing a little favor for me? Anything.
Anything at all? Oh, sure, anything.
[CHUCKLES.]
Get rid of him.
That old black magic Has me in its spell Ooh-ooh That old black magic That you weave so well [.]
[.]