I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s02e27 Episode Script

- Good morning, master.
- Good morning, Jeannie.
Oh, master, you shouldn't have.
I know.
I didn't.
You mean that present is not for me? - No.
- It is for another girl.
No, it's not for another girl.
- Oh, well, I'm glad.
For her sake.
- What does that mean? It means that when she opened it, she would have found frogs inside.
Come on.
You wouldn't do that.
Jeannie, would you mind? Thank you.
Master, why are you giving a present to a man? This man happens to be getting married.
It's his wedding present.
I love weddings.
- Yes, I know.
- Who is getting married? Billy Nopar.
He's one of our astronauts.
He is very wise.
I believe that all astronauts should be married.
Do you not? No, I do not.
See you this evening.
Are you going to the wedding, master? It's this afternoon.
I'm the best man.
Well, I know that.
Please be sure to tell me what the bride wore.
- Sure, sure.
- I imagine that she will wear something like this.
Do you like it, master? Oh, boy, that is beautiful.
Just lovely.
It's- It's a pity to waste it, though.
I mean, Billy Nopar has already picked out his wife.
- I was not thinking about Billy Nopar.
- No? You know what they say about weddings? No.
What do they say about weddings? They always come in twos.
- Hello, Major Healey.
- Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Jeannie, what are you doing here? I want to get married.
You want to get marr-? You want to get married? Realize the problems that'd involve? I'm an astronaut, you're a genie.
I worked hard to get where I am.
Boy, do you realize all the sacrifices I'd have to be making if I married you? We can marry Sunday.
We'll go up to Las Vegas, have a little time there.
Then to Switzerland.
Our own chalet.
Take our time.
Major Healey, I cannot marry you.
You can.
Listen, I can get a ring.
I'm in love with Major Nelson.
Well, it's too bad.
We'd have made a handsome looking couple.
I cannot understand why Major Nelson does not want to marry me.
I would be a wonderful wife for him.
Well, maybe he's just not ready to get married yet.
Well, what is it that makes a man want to get married? Well, a lot of guys look for the three C's in a marriage.
- The three C's? - Cooking, cleaning and cuddling.
Cooking, cleaning and cuddling.
I can do that.
Jeannie, you're too eager.
I mean, you gotta to play hard to get.
Hard to get.
That's right.
Thank you, Major Healey.
I hope you can come to the wedding.
Whose side am I on anyway? - Good evening, master.
- What's going on here? I've prepared all of your favourite dishes.
Well, it just smells wonderful, Jeannie.
- Shouldn't have gone to that trouble.
- It was no trouble.
I'm not terribly hungry.
You should've seen what they had at the wedding.
- You know these little- - Have you seen the paper? Yeah, yeah, I did.
About the wedding.
I remember what she wore.
A diamond- - You read about the floods in Europe? - Yes, I did.
- Most terrible.
- Billy Nopar and I talked about it.
You know, when he put the ring on, he did one of th- Dinner is served.
- Did you really bake that yourself? - Oh, yes, master.
With your own hands? - Yes.
- Well, it's sensational.
- Billy Nopar's wife came for- - Coffee? No, no.
I have some, thanks.
Jeannie, why don't you want to talk about the wedding? The wedding? I am not interested.
This morning you weren't interested in anything else.
I must have changed my mind.
I am very hard to get.
What? Well, I mean I'm not interested in getting married.
- Well, that's wonderful.
- It is? - Yeah, you know why? - No.
Why? Because neither am I.
I will have some more of that pie.
Oh, darling, should we be doing this? We've got to grab our happiness while we can.
Who knows, tomorrow I may be in orbit.
Lost somewhere among the shining stars.
Roger, I worry about you so.
Sue, you've got to be brave.
Oh, Roger.
- What are you doing here? - What am I doing here? What are you doing here so late? We have a breakfast appointment, I thought we could look fresh.
And I want to look nice and fresh too for you.
We can have a nice time together.
Oh, I know.
You're very sweet too.
What are you doing here? Roger.
Tomorrow morning.
The bay's breakfast.
Jeannie, you've got to learn to knock.
It did not do any good.
No, it did not do any good.
Not for me anyway.
I mean the advice you gave me.
Major Nelson does not want to get married.
Well, did you use reverse psychology? Yes.
Nothing will make him change his mind.
Well, then, why don't you forget about Tony and marry sweet, lovable me? Because I am going to marry sweet, lovable Major Nelson.
Jeannie, I told you.
Tony is never going to change his mind.
There is one thing that will change his mind.
What's that? Of course, it is forbidden.
Hold it, young lady.
Wait a minute.
What's forbidden? - And also it could be very dangerous.
- What could be very dangerous? But I am afraid there is no other way.
If you're doing something dangerous you better tell me first.
Goodbye, Major Healey.
Do not worry.
Everything will be just fine.
I think.
Jeannie? Well, she'll never get Tony to marry her.
I wonder what he would like for a wedding present.
"The spell of Lahalabah is the most powerful of all the spells.
In all our history, it has never been known to fail.
" Goody.
"The genie must first obtain three things from the person put under the spell.
A lock of hair, a piece of fingernail and a small circle of cloth from his clothing.
" That should not be too difficult.
And then Mrs Anthony Nelson.
Darling, I would like you to meet Mrs Nelson.
This is Mrs Anthony Nelson.
This is Tony's wife.
I will make him so happy.
Jeannie! - Good evening, master.
- Good evening, Jeannie.
I brought some papers home, and I can't for the life of me figure out what I did with them.
I left them upstairs, I left them downstairs.
Jeannie, it was a little envelope about this big with a red stripe.
Said " Confidential.
" - No.
- No.
Isn't that funny? I wonder what- - Master? - Yeah? Sit down, master.
You need a haircut.
Jeannie, I haven't got time for a haircut.
Oh, your hair is much too long.
- Don't put those things on my head.
- Oh, neatness counts.
Je- I haven't- I really haven't got time.
I've got to get to the base.
I came back to- To get a clean shirt and pick up some papers.
I'm going night flying tonight.
Night flying? For night flying you need a haircut and a manicure.
Thank you, Jeannie, but for night flying I have my own barber.
I'll look downstairs.
Just a tiny haircut.
Yeah- Jeannie, you put those things away before you hurt yourself.
A trim? All right, I'll change my shirt first.
Will you be out late, master? Yes.
You might say that.
May I have those, please? Yes, I'm going to the Aleutians.
Oh, that is near the South Pole.
No.
The North Pole.
Well, one Pole is like another.
I miss you so when you're away.
Nothing to worry about.
I'm a qualified pilot.
And I'll see you when I see you.
Will you kiss me goodbye? Sure.
- What was that? - What was what? I heard something.
What was it? Jeannie, there's something going on in that sweet little head of yours.
I'd love to find out what it is, but I just don't have the time.
- What was that? - Oh, it was nothing.
What was that? You'd better hurry, or you are going to be late for your flight.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
I'll go down and I'll change and get a fresh tie.
You better put some mothballs in my closet.
Goodbye.
I don't know what you're up to, but you're not gonna get away with it.
Goodbye, master.
" Do you have the objects from your beloved?" Yes.
"Good.
Place them in a goatskin bag.
" Goatskin bag.
Goatskin bag.
Tie, hair, fingernail.
Goatskin bag.
"Are they in the bag?" Yes.
"Then recite the incantation to Lahalabah.
O, great place where spirits dwell Hear thee now my magic spell Hair and nails and cloth of loom Mak e Fill in first and last name of subject of spell.
Give middle initial, if any.
Hair and nails and cloth of loom Mak e Major Anthony Nelson-" No middle initial.
"Be my groom Ere another change of tide Mak e Fill in first and last name of person casting spell.
Give middle initial, if any.
Ere another change of tide Mak e Jeannie-" Sorry.
That is my whole name.
"Be my master's bride" It is done.
Jeannie! Jeannie! Hi.
I had to come back.
Master, what are you doing here? I had to come back.
You get that wedding outfit.
When I come back from the Aleutians tomorrow, we're getting married.
- Did you hear something? - No.
It is truly lovely.
Haji.
What are you doing here? I've come to find out what you're doing.
I? Oh, well, I am doing nothing.
You have used the love incantation over your master.
Oh, just a little.
Decree 720, paragraph six, subhead three.
" It is forbidden for any genie to cast a love spell over her master.
" Really? Well, next time I will know better.
Would you like a cup of coffee? There shall be no next time.
You will cancel the spell.
Oh, I do not wish to do that.
You refuse? But I love him so very much, and he loves me.
But- But I did not even need the silly old spell.
I'm sure he would have married me anyway.
I tell you for the second time.
But I cannot cancel it.
But all the arrangements have been made for the wedding.
I tell you for the third time.
Well, just one tiny little spell will not do any harm.
Why do we not just forget it this time and I- You have been warned.
Haji? Haji? Haji? I have been warned? Roger, how long is it gonna take you to pack? Pack what? Where am I going? Las Vegas.
You're gonna be my best man.
- Your best- You're getting married? - Yeah.
You're getting married.
Well, congratulations, you sly dog.
You've kept her under wraps.
Who's the lucky girl? - Jeannie.
- Jeannie who? Jeannie? Our Jeannie? - No.
My Jeannie.
- Well, you can't marry her.
- Why not? - Why not? Well, she's- Roger, she's beautiful and- And warm-hearted and kind.
Oh, that girl's perfect.
I've heard of mixed marriages, but a genie and an astronaut? Roger, we're getting married.
Are you coming with us or not? Look, if you get married, everyone is going to want to meet your wife, right? - Yeah.
- Well, I can hear it now.
" Does your wife smoke? Yes.
What brand? No brand.
She just smokes.
Excuse me, folks, while I get my wife out of the bottle.
" Dr Bellows will love that.
That's great.
You're gonna be washed up.
Roger, don't worry.
Jeannie's not going to let anything happen.
You're going through with this? Of course I am.
Well, I can't explain it, Roge but I've never wanted anything more in my whole life.
- Are you coming with us? - To Las Vegas? Well, if you're gonna get married, that's the place to gamble.
Oh, yes, I have your reservation, Mr Nelson.
- Good.
- I am Mrs Anthony Nelson.
We're not actually married yet.
- You're not? - But we will be as soon as the minister gets here.
He's on his way.
He's going to be here any minute.
- Here's your key, miss.
- Thanks.
And yours, Mr Nelson.
The bellboy will show you to your rooms.
Dr Dawson, I have a message for you for room 527.
Thank you.
Roge, the minister is going to be here any minute.
Wait a minute.
This is my last dollar.
I've been here for five minutes - and I'm wiped out already.
- You know you can't- - I hit the jackpot! - Oh, Roger.
- I hit the jackpot.
- Roger.
It's all right, officer.
We'll meet you up in the room.
- Four-twelve.
- Four-twelve.
I'll pick up the money.
Four-twelve.
Oh, boy.
Master, are you all right? I think it's my ankle.
Would you mind lifting up a minute? - Roger, look, I - Move aside, please.
- Let him through.
- Let us through.
- Let me through.
- Dr Dawson, our doctor.
Let me through here.
He does not need a doctor.
He needs a hospital.
This man has a broken ankle.
He's not going to the hospital.
Well- And why not? Because he does not have a broken ankle.
You may get up and walk now.
- Thank you, Jeannie.
- Don't wish to be late for our wedding.
Madam, he cannot walk on that foot.
Believe me, if Jeannie says I can walk on it, I can walk on it.
- Right.
- Watch.
What happened? Well, I'll tell you what happened.
He just broke his wrist.
Oh, that's impossible.
Can't you help him? No.
The Haji's warning.
I must have lost my power.
You- You must have lost your what? - Easy.
Easy, I'll take care of you.
- Help me, doctor.
- Hello, master.
- Hello.
Boy, what a unlucky jackpot that turned out to be.
Jeannie, can't you blink me out of here? I have tried, it does not work.
What do you mean it does not work? You're a genie, aren't you? Yes and no.
What do you mean y-? What hurts, your arm or your leg? - It's my stomach.
Get the doctor.
- Doctor, I'll get the doctor.
Doctor! Nurse! Doctor! You have to leave.
My dear, you have to leave.
I'll treat you later.
Yeah, yes.
Doctor, help me, will you? Yeah, that's it.
That's exactly- - Do not worry.
He will be fine.
- Yeah, fine.
Oh, doctor.
Doctor, what's happening? Acute appendicitis.
We're going to have to operate.
- Oh, no.
- You know something? This is not his day.
I- I can't understand it.
I can.
I put Major Nelson under a spell so that he would want to marry me.
You put- A spell? Well, get him out of it.
Then he would not want to marry me.
And he needs me to take care of him.
He's in there with a broken arm and appendicitis.
How could you do this? I've lost my power.
Haji warned me not to put him under a spell.
Well, what if you broke the spell? Could you get your powers back? Yes.
Then I would not be Mrs Anthony Nelson.
Well, I think it's a question of what Tony needs more, a wife or a genie.
A wife.
All right, men.
Right down this way, men.
- What's happening? - Taking Major Nelson to emergency surgery.
This is Dr Benson the state inspector of hospitals.
Well, I- I cannot let them operate on him.
Well, a wife can't cure appendicitis.
But a genie can.
Oh, well, I did not want to be married anyway.
Hurry up or there's not going to be enough of him left for either of you.
Lahalabah, listen well While I break this magic spell Let the spell I cast be gone I must have said the wrong words.
Thank you.
Get a syringe, Eddie.
- Automobile accident? - No.
Just clumsy.
He's got a broken wrist, a broken ankle and acute appendicitis.
Doctor, where's Jeannie? If you'll just get a hold of Jeannie you'll see that none of this is necessary.
Young man, be quiet.
You are sicker than you think.
- Jeannie? - Easy, very easy.
Easy, easy.
- We're back where we started from.
- I think I know what I did wrong.
Lahalabah hear my shame Return the spell from whence it came From whence it came? Listen now, and listen well Tak e away my master's spell Hold it.
Now, just be quiet.
You're gonna be just fine.
I'm feeling pretty good already.
You said he had a broken wrist.
- Miracle of modern medicine, sir.
- You said he had a broken ankle.
- I don't understand.
- I'm going to recommend you - highly to all my friends.
- What about your appendicitis? Yeah, what about it? Oh, master, you are all well.
- Yeah, I feel great.
- Good.
Look who is here.
" Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here - Take this woman in holy mat-" - Excuse me, sir.
- Jeannie, I can't marry you.
- It will only take a minute.
A minute? What time is it? - It's 5 after 5.
- Five after f-? I've gotta be in General Drew's office at 5:00.
Hey, you're gonna be late.
It is a short ceremony.
It will take no time at all.
Please continue.
- No, I can't.
Jeannie.
- "When in the bloom of youth, two-" Please.
I'm sorry, they're gonna be discussing the Apollo Project.
- Well, you'll never make it now.
- Jeannie, get this cast off me.
- But I do not wish- - Now, come on, both of them.
Off.
" Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here-" No, no really, I can't.
I just- I just can't.
I'm sorry.
- Get me to that meeting.
- But- Now, come on, I mean it.
Get me back there.
I'm sorry I'm late, gentlemen.
I know how it must inconvenience you- I- I- I'm terribly sorry