I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s02e29 Episode Script
The Birds and the Bees Bit
[.]
[WHISTLES.]
Whoa.
Wha? Would you like some hot chocolate, master? Well, thank you, Jeannie.
You shouldn't have bothered.
Oh, it was no bother.
Is there anything else you would like? Uh, no, no.
You've You've done enough.
Oh, I wanna thank you for that wonderful dinner I had.
Oh, it was my pleasure.
Mm-hm.
Hey, that's good.
And, uh, for pressing my clothes.
Oh, well I enjoyed it.
And for cleaning the house and washing the car.
You really didn't You didn't have to go that far.
Oh, that is what I am here for.
To please you.
Oh, you please me, very much.
Oh, I am glad.
On Haji's birthday, you wished to get rid of me.
I, uh Well, I know that.
I'm sorry, but, well, when you cause one of your disasters, it makes me a little nervous, that's all.
I really couldn't get along without you.
Oh, you will never have to get along without me, master.
Good, good.
I I like things just the way they are now.
Quiet and peaceful, you know.
Do you, master? 'Course I do.
Don't you? Oh, yes, yes.
If you do.
Where'd I get this? Yeah.
Well, if you do not need me any longer, master, I will go to bed.
[YAWNING.]
Oh.
Good night, master.
Good night.
Before you- The Care and Feeding of Genies.
Oh, this must be the book Roger sent me for Christmas.
Let's see, "Blessed is he who has a genie "to do his bidding, but woe to him who lets his genie get the better of him.
" [LAUGHS.]
That was written by an expert.
"And it is written that only the spell of Haji "can take away the power of a genie.
"If, however, a genie marries a mortal, its power vanishes forever.
" Yeah, I remember old Haji.
Um "A genie is full of tricks and wiles.
"If its master [.]
"It is written that only the spell of Haji "can take away the power of a genie.
"If, however, a genie marries a mortal, its power vanishes forever.
" Jeannie? Jeannie.
Oh.
Jeannie, I gotta talk to you.
[YAWNS.]
I gotta talk to you Is anything wrong, master? Yeah, did you know that if you married a mortal, you wouldn't be a genie anymore? Oh, yes, any genie knows that.
But is it true, really true? Well, of course.
Why? Well, don't make any plans for tomorrow.
You and I are getting married.
Married! [LAUGHS.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Tomorrow night? No, no, no, I'm busy.
Roge.
Busy, yes.
Uh, how 'bout next week, okay? [SIGHS.]
Yes, you know I love you.
Goodbye, mother.
Well, what's up? How would you like to fly to Maryland with me? To Maryland? Do we have a mission? I do, I'm getting married.
You're kidding.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
I'm marrying Jeannie.
Jeannie? Yeah.
Our Jeannie? Yeah, that's right.
Now, listen to me.
Now, listen to me very closely.
Jeannie's done something to you to make you think you're going to marry her.
But you're not, because I'm going to save you.
Yeah, Roger, I want to marry her.
Come on, you gotta snap out of it! You're under a spell, can you hear me? Roger, Roger! I can hear you, there's no spell.
The whole thing was my idea.
Your idea? Are you kidding? You know you can't marry Jeannie.
She's a genie.
Well, she's not gonna be a genie anymore.
I just found out.
If she marries a mortal, she stops being a genie.
Yeah, who told you that? I read it in a book.
Yeah, well, I bet she She wrote the book.
Oh, brother.
Oh, wait a minute.
Oh, well, let's not rush into these things.
Why don't you think about it for a couple of years, then you can marry her Roger, I'm marrying Jeannie.
Now, are you gonna be my best man or not? Well, if I can't stop you, I might as well join you.
Thanks, Roge.
Got yourself a best man.
Well, thanks.
I'll, uh, also keep myself available for your court-martial.
Oh, there's nothing to worry about.
Once Jeannie and I are married, she'll be an average, everyday housewife.
Uh, what time are we leaving? Look at this.
Huh? What time are we leaving? Four o'clock plane.
Ah, that gives me six hours.
Yeah, to do what? Uh, well, I've got a few calls to make.
[CHUCKLES.]
See you later.
[CHUCKLING.]
Look at this.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's my office.
[CHUCKLING.]
See ya.
[.]
Jeannie, I've gotta talk to ya.
Did Major Nelson tell you that we are getting married tonight? He did mention it.
Oh, isn't that exciting? [SCREAMS.]
You don't know how exciting.
A former astronaut married to a genie.
Yes, is it not wonderful? A form A former astronaut? They won't keep him in the program when they find out about you.
But why not? I will no longer be a genie.
Oh, great.
That's just great.
Oh, great, a former genie married to an astronaut.
I mean, how could you do this to him? But I love him.
And he loves me.
He asked me to marry him.
Jeannie, the only reason he's marrying you is because he has some crazy idea that when you marry, you won't be a genie anymore.
But it is true.
How do you know? It is in our legend.
Do you mean, you're gonna jeopardize Tony's whole career on a legend you're not even sure of? I know how I can find out.
Haji.
Who's Haji? He is the master of all the genies.
He is most powerful.
Yeah, well, why don't you talk to him, and I can leave and then maybe I comfort you Oh, thank you, Haji, for coming here.
I hope it's something important.
This is my busy time of the month.
Who's this? Oh, I'm, uh, Major Roger Healey, sir.
I'm on detached duty to NASA.
Yes.
Why did you call me? I need your help.
I am thinking about getting married.
Ah, excellent.
Ha-ha, it's about time.
I knew you would soon tire of your dog of a master.
You are going to marry Ali, the tent-maker? Uh, no.
Omar, the oasis keeper? No.
Sharif, the camel king? Mm, no.
No? Then who? Tony, the dog of a master.
What? You are going to marry your master? Oh, yes.
[HAJI GROANS.]
Is it not true that if I marry my master, I will lose all my powers as a genie? Yes, it is so written.
Ha.
You see? Well, I don't care if it's written or not.
I think the marriage is gonna be a disaster.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I say, I would make Major Nelson very happy.
Well, it's my opinion against your opinion.
And that's a draw.
Let's forget about the whole thing.
Yes.
Uh, one moment.
Is it possible for you to show him what it would be like? Ha.
Haji could do anything.
[.]
Hey.
Look at that, very Quiet! Shh.
Watch.
[WAILS.]
[MUTTERING.]
Look into the crystal ball.
[HAJI LAUGHING.]
AMANDA: Oh, that duck.
[LAUGHING.]
I can't tell you, it was absolutely heavenly.
Why don't you ask Mrs.
Nelson for the recipe? The orange sauce, oh And I'd like the recipe for the creamed caramel.
You couldn't beat it.
Shall we take our coffee into the living room? Yes.
Excuse us.
TONY: Oh, that was wonderful.
Amanda, you don't remember BELLOWS: Excuse me.
Remember the sauce Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
Oh, that was wonderful.
I I'll help you clear the table.
Oh, it would only take me a second.
Oh, I keep forgetting.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
And believe me, I like it better this way.
Oh.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
No, no.
Sit here, darling.
You'll be more comfortable.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, Alfred, darling.
Look at that beautiful rug.
Beautiful.
Jeannie made it in her weaving class.
Made it? Oh.
Allow me, dear.
You're certainly a lucky man, Colonel Nelson.
I think so, sir.
Last night we had meatloaf.
[CHUCKLES.]
Alfred makes marvelous meatloaf.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Jeannie, that's a beautiful dress.
Where did you get it? Oh, thank you.
I made it.
Oh, she makes all her own clothes.
Ma? Oh, for heaven's sake.
She wanted to make all of his uniforms, but he wouldn't let her.
We had to draw the line somewhere.
You know she's gonna add an extra room to the house? What? She's wonderful with her hands.
And to think I was against this marriage.
Why were you against the marriage, Colonel Healey? Well, I, uh He probably wanted to keep her for himself.
ROGER: Yeah, well, I didn't think it was fair for one man to have her.
It's hard to keep a girl like that bottled up.
[LAUGHS.]
I hate to break up such a beautiful evening, but I think we should be running along.
Okay? I think that we should go too.
Yeah.
Yes, I haven't done this morning's dishes yet.
Funny, funny, dear.
Oh, you don't really have to go now, do you? There's no question about it, Colonel Nelson.
This marriage is the greatest thing that ever happened to you.
I agree, sir.
AMANDA: The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
Boy, was I ever wrong? [LAUGHING.]
I told you, Major Healey.
Are you sure that's the way it's going to be? You have seen it with your own eyes.
Can I ask you something? Yes.
Uh, do you know that girl that was my date? Mm.
Well, I've never met her before.
Uh, you wouldn't happen to have her telephone number, would you? It's okay.
You're sure you want to marry one of these? Oh, yes.
You won't miss having the powers of a genie? No.
I will have something greater.
You know what this will do to your parents? [.]
Yes.
I will not tell them that you married a mortal.
I will tell them that you were killed in a chariot accident.
Oh, thank you, Haji.
There's nothing more to say.
This is the last time I will see you, Jeannie.
Farewell.
Farewell, Haji.
[GIGGLING.]
And thank you.
About that telephone number, I thought maybe we Oh.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, boy, was I ever wrong.
Whoa, was I ever wrong.
Then you are no longer against the marriage? Why should I be against the perfect marriage? It's the greatest thing to ever happen to Tony.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, we better get ready.
We've got a wedding to go to.
Mm-hm.
[.]
[.]
Boy, my old buddy getting married.
Gee, it's hard to believe.
We sure had some great times together.
Yeah.
I have a feeling you'll be getting married pretty soon.
Ah, so do I.
I think I've found the girl, but I I can't get her telephone number.
Uh, who's number? I don't know, I haven't met her yet.
Listen, did you talk to Dr.
Bellows about getting married yet? No.
No, I thought I'd wait until after the honeymoon.
I didn't know how he was gonna take it.
I wouldn't worry about him.
He said it'll be a perfect marriage.
Hm.
Yeah.
You're getting married? Tonight? Yes, sir.
Uh, I have some leave accrued, and I thought we'd fly up to Maryland tonight.
Yeah, I'm gonna be the best man.
Well, I haven't met the young lady yet, but if she's the right kind of wife for you, it could be exactly what you've needed.
Uh, believe me, sir, she's a most unusual girl.
Unusual? She puts on his slippers, and she's building on an extra room in the house.
I'm very anxious to meet her.
ROGER: Oh, you will.
She's going to make you the most marvelous duck dinner.
We're gonna have to have that dinner right after your honeymoon.
I've got to get that girl's telephone number.
BELLOWS: Are you planning on a large family? Oh, yes, sir.
We both love children.
Well, congratulations.
Thank you very much, sir.
Children? Why did you summon me again? Oh, I am sorry to trouble you, Haji, but we are a little worried.
A little worried? We were panicking.
So if Jeannie marries a mortal, are their children mortals or genies? Mortals.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah, but sometimes, they may be genies.
There's no way of knowing.
But we've got to know.
Can we look in the future again? I am late for an appointment in Samara.
Oh, please, please.
Please.
Please.
Uh, very well.
[WAILS.]
[MUTTERING.]
TONY: Yeah.
Uh "Insert flap A into flap B, after sealing C into position F.
And ".
Yeah, now, we've already done that, right? [SIGHS.]
Uh, let's see now, "Do not fasten the widgets together until a square has been" Jeannie.
Would you? Oh, yes, dear.
Darling, Daddy's trying to concentrate.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's right.
Can you fix it, Daddy? Oh, sure, honey.
There's nothing to it.
It says, uh, right here It says, "Any child over the age of 7 can assemble this house in 10 minutes.
" Oh, I am sure it's going to be a beautiful dollhouse.
Come, Anthony.
Help Mommy.
Now, let's see.
"Do not fasten the widgets together until a square has been formed by folding Z ".
Uh, "Z over Y.
" That shouldn't be hard, huh? Um Now, we dealt with Z.
They never tell you which It's in the diagram, I know.
[CHUCKLES.]
I tell you what.
Why don't you study this for a little while? Your daddy's got some phone calls to make, huh? Did Daddy help you again? Yes.
Why don't you go ahead, do it.
All right.
Boy, what a great house.
Oh! I told you never to do that, darling.
But I wanted my dollhouse.
Oh, please, darling.
If your father knew about this, it would make him terribly, terribly nervous.
Please, promise me, never, never, ever to do it again.
And, Anthony BELLOWS: Yoo-hoo.
AMANDA: Yoo-hoo! Oh.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Hello.
Well Forgive us for dropping in like this, Mrs.
Nelson, but we were just passing by.
We were nowhere near the place, we just wanted to see the children.
Hello.
Ah.
Amanda, look how they've grown.
And this is for you, young man.
Come over here next to your Uncle Alfred.
Now, look, let's lean down here and see.
I bet you can't guess what it is.
How lovely.
Well, come on.
An airplane? Ah, now, what makes you think it's an airplane? Look, a fire engine.
I wanted an airplane.
[GASPS.]
He He's just crazy about fire engines.
[LAUGHS.]
Darling, this is for you.
Thank you, Mrs.
Bellows.
You're welcome.
He's hungry.
Yeah, you give him a cracker.
Ah, look, Amanda.
She's trying to feed him.
[LAUGHS.]
Isn't that sweet? Won't you come in the house and have a cup of coffee? Tony is inside.
Well, thank you, but we just had some coffee, but anyway.
JEANNIE: Please, come in.
AMANDA: Oh, thank you, dear.
[.]
Oh.
How are you doing, Dr.
Bellows? Forgive us for intruding, colonel, but we've just had to see the children.
They brought them the most wonderful toys.
Oh, now, you shouldn't have done that.
Every time you come here, you spoil them rotten.
Oh, don't be silly.
We enjoy it.
They're wonderful children.
Oh, yes.
They take after their father.
They take after their mother.
Let's watch them play.
Uh, well, how 'bout some coffee? We just had some coffee.
Have some coffee, sir.
You haven't had Jeannie's.
She makes extra-special coffee.
Have some coffee, please.
No, I I swore I just saw Oh, no, no, no, it couldn't be, No, no.
Well, didn't I bring your son a fire engine? Yes, why don't we have? Well, I BOTH: Oh! Jeannie, if you knew about this, why didn't you tell me? I did not wish to worry you.
Huh? Worry me? Major Nel Uh Well, look.
Your son.
He's flying through the air, and it's not even an airplane.
Why, it's a fire engine.
Make him come down.
Yes.
Now, Anthony Jeannie, do something.
Anthony! Anthony! Anthony! Come down this minute.
[STAMMERING INDISTINCTLY.]
Oh! Stop it! It's starting again.
First him, and now it's his children.
Listen to your mother.
Come on, Anthony, I'm not kidding.
It's one of those things that just happened.
Now, Anthony, you come down right this minute! BELLOWS: Oh.
[GASPS.]
Oh, no.
You're not going to get out of it this time, colonel! AMANDA: Get him down! I'll get him over here.
Anthony, you come down right this minute.
Listen to your mother.
You're going to hurt yourself.
Jeannie, would you do something? I told you he was hungry.
Anthony, you come down here! TONY: Anthony, you come down right this minute.
TONY: Jeannie, would you do something? They're going to court-martial him.
They're going to court-martial him! You've seen he's had no luck with his son, but his daughter will be a genie.
Now, you must tell him that before you marry him.
It is so written.
Oh, yes, yes, I will tell him.
Good.
I must go now, and I'll warn you.
I warn you, do not disturb me again.
[.]
You've got to get hold of Tony.
What for? What for? To tell him the marriage is off.
Oh, why would the marriage be off? Why would the? You saw what happened.
Well, yes, but I will not let it happen.
I love him too much.
Well, if you're not going to tell him, I am.
[GROANS.]
Ow! Jeannie! Jeannie! [GASPS.]
Forgive me, Major Healey.
Oh, forgive Are you kidding? Get me down from here right now! As soon as the wedding is over.
Oh, Jeannie, you've got to get me out of this place.
Oh, I You will be all right there until we return.
All right? I am truly sorry you cannot be our best man.
[YELPS.]
Goodbye.
Goodb Oh, Jeannie, don't go! Not now! Aagh! Jeannie.
Jeannie? Jeannie! I am ready, master.
Oh.
Oh, good, good.
Well, I'll, uh I'll pack a suitcase, and we'll be on our way, huh? Oh.
We are all packed, master.
[LAUGHING.]
Yes, I can see that.
Well, thank you very much.
Oh, has Roger called? Oh, no.
No.
But he ran out of Dr.
Bellow" office this morning, and I haven't seen him since.
I I wonder where he could be.
Perhaps he is tied up.
Hm? Yeah, yeah.
Well, he probably found that girl's phone number, huh? We'll just have to get along without him.
Well, that is what I told him.
Huh? Oh, nothing.
Okay.
[.]
The Man from U.
N.
C.
L.
E.
always gets out of these things.
Okay, Jeannie, I'm ready.
Shall I blink us to Maryland? [CHUCKLING.]
No.
No.
We're gonna fly to Maryland.
From now on, I don't want you to use anymore tricks.
Oh, but it is so simple, master.
No.
In a few hours, you're not gonna be a genie anymore.
And you may as well start getting used to it.
Yes, master.
Okay.
Oh, I have waited so long for this.
Mrs.
Anthony Nelson.
We should've done this a long time ago.
Oh, I want to make you a good wife.
I have a feeling we're not gonna have a worry in the world.
Let me call Roger one more time.
I also have a feeling that something really important hung him up.
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, Jeannie, wait till I get my hands on you.
Oh, what am I calling her for? Jeannie, Jeannie, she's not gonna help me.
Haji.
Haji! Haji! Ah, you can't hear me, can you? You want to know why? Because you're deaf! You're a deaf, dirty old man! And your father's a dirty old man! And you're a coward, you hear? A coward! Boy, do you know what's gonna happen when I get my hands on you? Now we shall see who is the coward.
[WAILING.]
I'll tell you who's the coward.
I am, but at least, I'm not like a genie, I keep my word.
Are you saying that a genie does not keep his word? You told Jeannie she couldn't marry Tony, unless she told him one of his children was going to be a genie.
That is so written.
Yeah, but she erased it.
She's getting married, and she didn't tell him.
[.]
Oh.
Haji.
You're not through cooking yet.
He He doesn't answer.
I did not think he would.
Let us go, master.
This is not like Roger.
We must not miss the plane.
You're right.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're always right.
[GIGGLES.]
H-Haji.
Uh, we were just leaving.
Where are you going? To Maryland.
Um, to get married.
Has she told you about your children? My children? It is nothing.
Tell him.
I was going to.
Well, what about my children? Tell him.
Well, some of our children may be genies.
"Some of our children may be genies"? Some of our children Are you sure? Yes, master.
Oh, that's great.
We're right back where we started.
Can you imagine what chaos life is gonna be with a bunch of little genies around? You are my favorite genie and an adorable child, but do not bother me again.
Jeannie.
Are you all right? Are you all right? I will go unpack, master.
Oh, Jeannie, I'm sorry, but Well, you should've told me.
Yes, master.
You understand, don't you? Yes, master.
Where's Roger? Roger.
Yeah.
I forgot Major Healey! Major Healey? Major Healey? Jeannie, what is this place? Oh, this is where I left him.
Oh! Oh.
[YELPS.]
Major Healey! Roger? ROGER: Oh, is that you, Tony? Hey, that Haji isn't such a bad guy after all.
I asked him for Sally's phone number, and look what he gave me.
Mm.
Oh.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Would you like a marshmallow? [.]
[.]
[WHISTLES.]
Whoa.
Wha? Would you like some hot chocolate, master? Well, thank you, Jeannie.
You shouldn't have bothered.
Oh, it was no bother.
Is there anything else you would like? Uh, no, no.
You've You've done enough.
Oh, I wanna thank you for that wonderful dinner I had.
Oh, it was my pleasure.
Mm-hm.
Hey, that's good.
And, uh, for pressing my clothes.
Oh, well I enjoyed it.
And for cleaning the house and washing the car.
You really didn't You didn't have to go that far.
Oh, that is what I am here for.
To please you.
Oh, you please me, very much.
Oh, I am glad.
On Haji's birthday, you wished to get rid of me.
I, uh Well, I know that.
I'm sorry, but, well, when you cause one of your disasters, it makes me a little nervous, that's all.
I really couldn't get along without you.
Oh, you will never have to get along without me, master.
Good, good.
I I like things just the way they are now.
Quiet and peaceful, you know.
Do you, master? 'Course I do.
Don't you? Oh, yes, yes.
If you do.
Where'd I get this? Yeah.
Well, if you do not need me any longer, master, I will go to bed.
[YAWNING.]
Oh.
Good night, master.
Good night.
Before you- The Care and Feeding of Genies.
Oh, this must be the book Roger sent me for Christmas.
Let's see, "Blessed is he who has a genie "to do his bidding, but woe to him who lets his genie get the better of him.
" [LAUGHS.]
That was written by an expert.
"And it is written that only the spell of Haji "can take away the power of a genie.
"If, however, a genie marries a mortal, its power vanishes forever.
" Yeah, I remember old Haji.
Um "A genie is full of tricks and wiles.
"If its master [.]
"It is written that only the spell of Haji "can take away the power of a genie.
"If, however, a genie marries a mortal, its power vanishes forever.
" Jeannie? Jeannie.
Oh.
Jeannie, I gotta talk to you.
[YAWNS.]
I gotta talk to you Is anything wrong, master? Yeah, did you know that if you married a mortal, you wouldn't be a genie anymore? Oh, yes, any genie knows that.
But is it true, really true? Well, of course.
Why? Well, don't make any plans for tomorrow.
You and I are getting married.
Married! [LAUGHS.]
[.]
[.]
[.]
Tomorrow night? No, no, no, I'm busy.
Roge.
Busy, yes.
Uh, how 'bout next week, okay? [SIGHS.]
Yes, you know I love you.
Goodbye, mother.
Well, what's up? How would you like to fly to Maryland with me? To Maryland? Do we have a mission? I do, I'm getting married.
You're kidding.
[CHUCKLING.]
Yeah.
I'm marrying Jeannie.
Jeannie? Yeah.
Our Jeannie? Yeah, that's right.
Now, listen to me.
Now, listen to me very closely.
Jeannie's done something to you to make you think you're going to marry her.
But you're not, because I'm going to save you.
Yeah, Roger, I want to marry her.
Come on, you gotta snap out of it! You're under a spell, can you hear me? Roger, Roger! I can hear you, there's no spell.
The whole thing was my idea.
Your idea? Are you kidding? You know you can't marry Jeannie.
She's a genie.
Well, she's not gonna be a genie anymore.
I just found out.
If she marries a mortal, she stops being a genie.
Yeah, who told you that? I read it in a book.
Yeah, well, I bet she She wrote the book.
Oh, brother.
Oh, wait a minute.
Oh, well, let's not rush into these things.
Why don't you think about it for a couple of years, then you can marry her Roger, I'm marrying Jeannie.
Now, are you gonna be my best man or not? Well, if I can't stop you, I might as well join you.
Thanks, Roge.
Got yourself a best man.
Well, thanks.
I'll, uh, also keep myself available for your court-martial.
Oh, there's nothing to worry about.
Once Jeannie and I are married, she'll be an average, everyday housewife.
Uh, what time are we leaving? Look at this.
Huh? What time are we leaving? Four o'clock plane.
Ah, that gives me six hours.
Yeah, to do what? Uh, well, I've got a few calls to make.
[CHUCKLES.]
See you later.
[CHUCKLING.]
Look at this.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's my office.
[CHUCKLING.]
See ya.
[.]
Jeannie, I've gotta talk to ya.
Did Major Nelson tell you that we are getting married tonight? He did mention it.
Oh, isn't that exciting? [SCREAMS.]
You don't know how exciting.
A former astronaut married to a genie.
Yes, is it not wonderful? A form A former astronaut? They won't keep him in the program when they find out about you.
But why not? I will no longer be a genie.
Oh, great.
That's just great.
Oh, great, a former genie married to an astronaut.
I mean, how could you do this to him? But I love him.
And he loves me.
He asked me to marry him.
Jeannie, the only reason he's marrying you is because he has some crazy idea that when you marry, you won't be a genie anymore.
But it is true.
How do you know? It is in our legend.
Do you mean, you're gonna jeopardize Tony's whole career on a legend you're not even sure of? I know how I can find out.
Haji.
Who's Haji? He is the master of all the genies.
He is most powerful.
Yeah, well, why don't you talk to him, and I can leave and then maybe I comfort you Oh, thank you, Haji, for coming here.
I hope it's something important.
This is my busy time of the month.
Who's this? Oh, I'm, uh, Major Roger Healey, sir.
I'm on detached duty to NASA.
Yes.
Why did you call me? I need your help.
I am thinking about getting married.
Ah, excellent.
Ha-ha, it's about time.
I knew you would soon tire of your dog of a master.
You are going to marry Ali, the tent-maker? Uh, no.
Omar, the oasis keeper? No.
Sharif, the camel king? Mm, no.
No? Then who? Tony, the dog of a master.
What? You are going to marry your master? Oh, yes.
[HAJI GROANS.]
Is it not true that if I marry my master, I will lose all my powers as a genie? Yes, it is so written.
Ha.
You see? Well, I don't care if it's written or not.
I think the marriage is gonna be a disaster.
[CHUCKLES.]
And I say, I would make Major Nelson very happy.
Well, it's my opinion against your opinion.
And that's a draw.
Let's forget about the whole thing.
Yes.
Uh, one moment.
Is it possible for you to show him what it would be like? Ha.
Haji could do anything.
[.]
Hey.
Look at that, very Quiet! Shh.
Watch.
[WAILS.]
[MUTTERING.]
Look into the crystal ball.
[HAJI LAUGHING.]
AMANDA: Oh, that duck.
[LAUGHING.]
I can't tell you, it was absolutely heavenly.
Why don't you ask Mrs.
Nelson for the recipe? The orange sauce, oh And I'd like the recipe for the creamed caramel.
You couldn't beat it.
Shall we take our coffee into the living room? Yes.
Excuse us.
TONY: Oh, that was wonderful.
Amanda, you don't remember BELLOWS: Excuse me.
Remember the sauce Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
Oh, that was wonderful.
I I'll help you clear the table.
Oh, it would only take me a second.
Oh, I keep forgetting.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
And believe me, I like it better this way.
Oh.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
No, no.
Sit here, darling.
You'll be more comfortable.
Oh, thanks.
Oh, Alfred, darling.
Look at that beautiful rug.
Beautiful.
Jeannie made it in her weaving class.
Made it? Oh.
Allow me, dear.
You're certainly a lucky man, Colonel Nelson.
I think so, sir.
Last night we had meatloaf.
[CHUCKLES.]
Alfred makes marvelous meatloaf.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Jeannie, that's a beautiful dress.
Where did you get it? Oh, thank you.
I made it.
Oh, she makes all her own clothes.
Ma? Oh, for heaven's sake.
She wanted to make all of his uniforms, but he wouldn't let her.
We had to draw the line somewhere.
You know she's gonna add an extra room to the house? What? She's wonderful with her hands.
And to think I was against this marriage.
Why were you against the marriage, Colonel Healey? Well, I, uh He probably wanted to keep her for himself.
ROGER: Yeah, well, I didn't think it was fair for one man to have her.
It's hard to keep a girl like that bottled up.
[LAUGHS.]
I hate to break up such a beautiful evening, but I think we should be running along.
Okay? I think that we should go too.
Yeah.
Yes, I haven't done this morning's dishes yet.
Funny, funny, dear.
Oh, you don't really have to go now, do you? There's no question about it, Colonel Nelson.
This marriage is the greatest thing that ever happened to you.
I agree, sir.
AMANDA: The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
The perfect marriage.
Boy, was I ever wrong? [LAUGHING.]
I told you, Major Healey.
Are you sure that's the way it's going to be? You have seen it with your own eyes.
Can I ask you something? Yes.
Uh, do you know that girl that was my date? Mm.
Well, I've never met her before.
Uh, you wouldn't happen to have her telephone number, would you? It's okay.
You're sure you want to marry one of these? Oh, yes.
You won't miss having the powers of a genie? No.
I will have something greater.
You know what this will do to your parents? [.]
Yes.
I will not tell them that you married a mortal.
I will tell them that you were killed in a chariot accident.
Oh, thank you, Haji.
There's nothing more to say.
This is the last time I will see you, Jeannie.
Farewell.
Farewell, Haji.
[GIGGLING.]
And thank you.
About that telephone number, I thought maybe we Oh.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, boy, was I ever wrong.
Whoa, was I ever wrong.
Then you are no longer against the marriage? Why should I be against the perfect marriage? It's the greatest thing to ever happen to Tony.
Oh, thank you.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, we better get ready.
We've got a wedding to go to.
Mm-hm.
[.]
[.]
Boy, my old buddy getting married.
Gee, it's hard to believe.
We sure had some great times together.
Yeah.
I have a feeling you'll be getting married pretty soon.
Ah, so do I.
I think I've found the girl, but I I can't get her telephone number.
Uh, who's number? I don't know, I haven't met her yet.
Listen, did you talk to Dr.
Bellows about getting married yet? No.
No, I thought I'd wait until after the honeymoon.
I didn't know how he was gonna take it.
I wouldn't worry about him.
He said it'll be a perfect marriage.
Hm.
Yeah.
You're getting married? Tonight? Yes, sir.
Uh, I have some leave accrued, and I thought we'd fly up to Maryland tonight.
Yeah, I'm gonna be the best man.
Well, I haven't met the young lady yet, but if she's the right kind of wife for you, it could be exactly what you've needed.
Uh, believe me, sir, she's a most unusual girl.
Unusual? She puts on his slippers, and she's building on an extra room in the house.
I'm very anxious to meet her.
ROGER: Oh, you will.
She's going to make you the most marvelous duck dinner.
We're gonna have to have that dinner right after your honeymoon.
I've got to get that girl's telephone number.
BELLOWS: Are you planning on a large family? Oh, yes, sir.
We both love children.
Well, congratulations.
Thank you very much, sir.
Children? Why did you summon me again? Oh, I am sorry to trouble you, Haji, but we are a little worried.
A little worried? We were panicking.
So if Jeannie marries a mortal, are their children mortals or genies? Mortals.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah, but sometimes, they may be genies.
There's no way of knowing.
But we've got to know.
Can we look in the future again? I am late for an appointment in Samara.
Oh, please, please.
Please.
Please.
Uh, very well.
[WAILS.]
[MUTTERING.]
TONY: Yeah.
Uh "Insert flap A into flap B, after sealing C into position F.
And ".
Yeah, now, we've already done that, right? [SIGHS.]
Uh, let's see now, "Do not fasten the widgets together until a square has been" Jeannie.
Would you? Oh, yes, dear.
Darling, Daddy's trying to concentrate.
[CHUCKLES.]
That's right.
Can you fix it, Daddy? Oh, sure, honey.
There's nothing to it.
It says, uh, right here It says, "Any child over the age of 7 can assemble this house in 10 minutes.
" Oh, I am sure it's going to be a beautiful dollhouse.
Come, Anthony.
Help Mommy.
Now, let's see.
"Do not fasten the widgets together until a square has been formed by folding Z ".
Uh, "Z over Y.
" That shouldn't be hard, huh? Um Now, we dealt with Z.
They never tell you which It's in the diagram, I know.
[CHUCKLES.]
I tell you what.
Why don't you study this for a little while? Your daddy's got some phone calls to make, huh? Did Daddy help you again? Yes.
Why don't you go ahead, do it.
All right.
Boy, what a great house.
Oh! I told you never to do that, darling.
But I wanted my dollhouse.
Oh, please, darling.
If your father knew about this, it would make him terribly, terribly nervous.
Please, promise me, never, never, ever to do it again.
And, Anthony BELLOWS: Yoo-hoo.
AMANDA: Yoo-hoo! Oh.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Hello.
Well Forgive us for dropping in like this, Mrs.
Nelson, but we were just passing by.
We were nowhere near the place, we just wanted to see the children.
Hello.
Ah.
Amanda, look how they've grown.
And this is for you, young man.
Come over here next to your Uncle Alfred.
Now, look, let's lean down here and see.
I bet you can't guess what it is.
How lovely.
Well, come on.
An airplane? Ah, now, what makes you think it's an airplane? Look, a fire engine.
I wanted an airplane.
[GASPS.]
He He's just crazy about fire engines.
[LAUGHS.]
Darling, this is for you.
Thank you, Mrs.
Bellows.
You're welcome.
He's hungry.
Yeah, you give him a cracker.
Ah, look, Amanda.
She's trying to feed him.
[LAUGHS.]
Isn't that sweet? Won't you come in the house and have a cup of coffee? Tony is inside.
Well, thank you, but we just had some coffee, but anyway.
JEANNIE: Please, come in.
AMANDA: Oh, thank you, dear.
[.]
Oh.
How are you doing, Dr.
Bellows? Forgive us for intruding, colonel, but we've just had to see the children.
They brought them the most wonderful toys.
Oh, now, you shouldn't have done that.
Every time you come here, you spoil them rotten.
Oh, don't be silly.
We enjoy it.
They're wonderful children.
Oh, yes.
They take after their father.
They take after their mother.
Let's watch them play.
Uh, well, how 'bout some coffee? We just had some coffee.
Have some coffee, sir.
You haven't had Jeannie's.
She makes extra-special coffee.
Have some coffee, please.
No, I I swore I just saw Oh, no, no, no, it couldn't be, No, no.
Well, didn't I bring your son a fire engine? Yes, why don't we have? Well, I BOTH: Oh! Jeannie, if you knew about this, why didn't you tell me? I did not wish to worry you.
Huh? Worry me? Major Nel Uh Well, look.
Your son.
He's flying through the air, and it's not even an airplane.
Why, it's a fire engine.
Make him come down.
Yes.
Now, Anthony Jeannie, do something.
Anthony! Anthony! Anthony! Come down this minute.
[STAMMERING INDISTINCTLY.]
Oh! Stop it! It's starting again.
First him, and now it's his children.
Listen to your mother.
Come on, Anthony, I'm not kidding.
It's one of those things that just happened.
Now, Anthony, you come down right this minute! BELLOWS: Oh.
[GASPS.]
Oh, no.
You're not going to get out of it this time, colonel! AMANDA: Get him down! I'll get him over here.
Anthony, you come down right this minute.
Listen to your mother.
You're going to hurt yourself.
Jeannie, would you do something? I told you he was hungry.
Anthony, you come down here! TONY: Anthony, you come down right this minute.
TONY: Jeannie, would you do something? They're going to court-martial him.
They're going to court-martial him! You've seen he's had no luck with his son, but his daughter will be a genie.
Now, you must tell him that before you marry him.
It is so written.
Oh, yes, yes, I will tell him.
Good.
I must go now, and I'll warn you.
I warn you, do not disturb me again.
[.]
You've got to get hold of Tony.
What for? What for? To tell him the marriage is off.
Oh, why would the marriage be off? Why would the? You saw what happened.
Well, yes, but I will not let it happen.
I love him too much.
Well, if you're not going to tell him, I am.
[GROANS.]
Ow! Jeannie! Jeannie! [GASPS.]
Forgive me, Major Healey.
Oh, forgive Are you kidding? Get me down from here right now! As soon as the wedding is over.
Oh, Jeannie, you've got to get me out of this place.
Oh, I You will be all right there until we return.
All right? I am truly sorry you cannot be our best man.
[YELPS.]
Goodbye.
Goodb Oh, Jeannie, don't go! Not now! Aagh! Jeannie.
Jeannie? Jeannie! I am ready, master.
Oh.
Oh, good, good.
Well, I'll, uh I'll pack a suitcase, and we'll be on our way, huh? Oh.
We are all packed, master.
[LAUGHING.]
Yes, I can see that.
Well, thank you very much.
Oh, has Roger called? Oh, no.
No.
But he ran out of Dr.
Bellow" office this morning, and I haven't seen him since.
I I wonder where he could be.
Perhaps he is tied up.
Hm? Yeah, yeah.
Well, he probably found that girl's phone number, huh? We'll just have to get along without him.
Well, that is what I told him.
Huh? Oh, nothing.
Okay.
[.]
The Man from U.
N.
C.
L.
E.
always gets out of these things.
Okay, Jeannie, I'm ready.
Shall I blink us to Maryland? [CHUCKLING.]
No.
No.
We're gonna fly to Maryland.
From now on, I don't want you to use anymore tricks.
Oh, but it is so simple, master.
No.
In a few hours, you're not gonna be a genie anymore.
And you may as well start getting used to it.
Yes, master.
Okay.
Oh, I have waited so long for this.
Mrs.
Anthony Nelson.
We should've done this a long time ago.
Oh, I want to make you a good wife.
I have a feeling we're not gonna have a worry in the world.
Let me call Roger one more time.
I also have a feeling that something really important hung him up.
[SCREAMING.]
Oh, Jeannie, wait till I get my hands on you.
Oh, what am I calling her for? Jeannie, Jeannie, she's not gonna help me.
Haji.
Haji! Haji! Ah, you can't hear me, can you? You want to know why? Because you're deaf! You're a deaf, dirty old man! And your father's a dirty old man! And you're a coward, you hear? A coward! Boy, do you know what's gonna happen when I get my hands on you? Now we shall see who is the coward.
[WAILING.]
I'll tell you who's the coward.
I am, but at least, I'm not like a genie, I keep my word.
Are you saying that a genie does not keep his word? You told Jeannie she couldn't marry Tony, unless she told him one of his children was going to be a genie.
That is so written.
Yeah, but she erased it.
She's getting married, and she didn't tell him.
[.]
Oh.
Haji.
You're not through cooking yet.
He He doesn't answer.
I did not think he would.
Let us go, master.
This is not like Roger.
We must not miss the plane.
You're right.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're always right.
[GIGGLES.]
H-Haji.
Uh, we were just leaving.
Where are you going? To Maryland.
Um, to get married.
Has she told you about your children? My children? It is nothing.
Tell him.
I was going to.
Well, what about my children? Tell him.
Well, some of our children may be genies.
"Some of our children may be genies"? Some of our children Are you sure? Yes, master.
Oh, that's great.
We're right back where we started.
Can you imagine what chaos life is gonna be with a bunch of little genies around? You are my favorite genie and an adorable child, but do not bother me again.
Jeannie.
Are you all right? Are you all right? I will go unpack, master.
Oh, Jeannie, I'm sorry, but Well, you should've told me.
Yes, master.
You understand, don't you? Yes, master.
Where's Roger? Roger.
Yeah.
I forgot Major Healey! Major Healey? Major Healey? Jeannie, what is this place? Oh, this is where I left him.
Oh! Oh.
[YELPS.]
Major Healey! Roger? ROGER: Oh, is that you, Tony? Hey, that Haji isn't such a bad guy after all.
I asked him for Sally's phone number, and look what he gave me.
Mm.
Oh.
Mm.
Mm.
Oh, hi, Jeannie.
Would you like a marshmallow? [.]
[.]