I Dream of Jeannie (1965) s02e31 Episode Script
The Mod Party
[.]
Good morning.
Good morning, sir.
[WHISTLING.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
He is here.
What do you think you're doing? Master.
Major Healey is calling you.
It is urgent.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE.]
Hello.
Hello?! ROGER: Hi, Tony.
Hey, do you have your radio on? No, no, you have yours on.
What's the matter? Jeannie said it was urgent.
Ah, are you kidding? Urgent's not the word for it.
Now, listen, don't make any plans for tonight.
The greatest party-thrower in Cocoa Beach is throwing a wild mod party.
Yeah.
Wh-who is that? Me.
Huh? Well, what do you know about giving a mod party? What is there to know? A bunch of friends of mine came down to Florida to see me.
They're bringing some girls over to my place.
I thought, you know, might make it a real party.
Oh, great.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
[OVER SPEAKER.]
No brass, no psychiatric observers and definitely no uniforms.
Strictly mod all the way.
Carniby Street, right? Yeah, well, it sounds great.
Uh, bring Jeannie and some ice.
Oh, thank you, Major Healey.
Oh, this is a pleasure, Jeannie.
Okay, Tony? Yeah, uh Yeah, okay.
All right, I'll see you.
Oh, master.
A party.
A party! This thing's not attached to anything.
Is it not wonderful? There's no cord.
Oh, I'm so excited.
I love parties.
Oh! All right, we have to get down to business.
[.]
[.]
And I will make my hair brunette Yeah, I-I'd rather you didn't blink up anything, Jeannie.
Here, I want you to take one of these credit cards and go down to Cocoa Oh, they are so beautiful.
[GASPS.]
I think I like the red one the best.
Well, believe me, it's not the color that counts.
Now, you take that down shopping in Cocoa Beach, and get yourself something mod to wear tonight.
But why, master? All I have to do is Yes, yes, I-I know that, but I'd rather you wouldn't.
Now, you see, the important thing at Roger's party tonight is the clothes that people will be wearing.
It has to be just right.
You'll do that for me, won't you? If you say so, master.
Okay.
[GIGGLES.]
Shopping for mod will be such fun.
Yeah.
What is "mod"? Well, I really don't have time to go into it.
The salesgirl will help you.
Oh, just think.
I will be the only genie at the party dressed in mod.
Yeah.
[.]
Just received these mental stress analysis reports.
I want you to run them through the computer.
Thanks.
Hey, Roge.
Oh, yeah.
Something wrong with your ankle? No, but there's something wrong with my neck.
I'm getting ready for the frug dance tonight.
A little practice Oh, am I excited.
All those great girls tonight, huh.
I'm kind of excited too.
This will be the first mod party I've ever been to.
It will be an experience.
Oh, listen, that's putting it mildly.
Hey, you're gonna love the guys.
They're a great bunch, really.
Are they college buddies? No, no.
Uh, from high school? No, no, grammar school.
Of course, they're a little older now.
Yeah, well, I hope so.
Yeah, listen, this party is kind of a class reunion.
Boy, it's going to be great, seeing old Porky Hansen again.
He used to be the classroom cutup.
Ah, I'll never forget the time he poured a bucket of tadpoles over our biology teacher's head.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Wh-what's he doing now? Well, he's the head of his own model agency.
Yeah.
They're gonna paint my office.
Help me move the furniture around.
Yeah.
Good old Porky.
Even in grammar school, he got all the beautiful girls.
Two girls fought a duel over him with mud pies.
Give me a hand with this, will you? The principal's daughter wanted to elope with him when they were 7 years old.
But now, to think he has his own model agency.
All those beautiful girls.
Boy, I can't wait to see what my date is gonna look like.
[KNOCKING.]
Come in.
Tony.
Hey, Roger, how are you? Carter, how are you? Good to see you.
What brings you to town? Uh, let's see, the last time I saw you was last year at the meeting of the inter-branch relations Well, that's it.
It's that time of year again.
We're having our annual little get-together tonight.
Well, we can't make it.
Not tonight, no.
Didn't you get the notice? Did we get the notice he sent out? Last month, I got the notice.
I put it in my drawer and never looked at it again.
It's in here someplace.
Can't you make it another night? Tomorrow night maybe.
We can't make it.
This is Dr.
Bellows' baby.
If you can't make it, check with him.
You know how he looks forward to it.
I know.
I know how he is.
Give you a little advice.
If you're not there tonight, you'd better have an excuse.
A good excuse.
Yeah, we will.
I mean, we'll work out something.
See you later.
The nerve of Dr.
Bellows having his meeting on the night of my mod party! Roger, he's had this meeting set up for the last year.
That's what I mean.
He had a whole year to pick another date.
What are we gonna do? We're going to the meeting.
Oh, no, we're not.
Not me, I'm not gonna let my buddies down.
No, sirree.
You remember last year's meeting? Mrs.
Bellows and her soggy, soggy hors d'oeuvres? Boy, what are we gonna do? The one I feel sorry for is Jeannie.
She really had her heart set on going to this party tonight.
How are we gonna get out of this thing? How? Well, you know Dr.
Bellows.
Even if the meeting is unimportant, all the brass will be there.
If we don't show up, we'll never hear the end of it.
Mrs.
Bellows will see to it.
We could call in sick.
Yeah, we'd have to show up on crutches.
That's the only way he'd ever believe us.
I know the nurse at the infirmary.
She could lend us a couple Hey, wait a minute.
Remember Dr.
Bellows said the last time we had our physical, that we needed some outdoor activities? Yeah.
Well, we'll just tell him that We're going hunting, sir.
Hunting? You know, camping out, the great outdoors.
Surrounded by fresh air, just as you prescribed.
Hm, I see.
Uh, how long have you been planning this trip? Four weeks.
Four months.
Four weeks.
Four months.
I-I really can't understand how we forgot about your little get-together tonight, sir.
Well, I understand it.
You do? Of course.
It was because of your unconscious need to break out into the open.
It drove tonight's gathering completely from your mind.
Oh, yeah, completely.
Yeah.
It sounds so simple when you explain it, sir.
Well, after all, it is my profession.
The dynamics of human relations.
Well, you're the doctor.
Well, all right, gentlemen, I, um I'll make your excuses at the meeting tonight.
Oh, Mrs.
Bellows is gonna be terribly disappointed, but, uh, your mental and physical well-being is far more important than attending our little gathering.
Well, I knew you would understand, sir.
Thanks, sir.
Tell Mrs.
Bellows, we're going to miss her hors d'oeuvres.
You were brilliant.
I mean brilliant.
Oh, I feel a heel, lying to Dr.
Bellows.
Are you kidding? With one stoke, you got us out of a dull evening, into Into the mod party of the year.
Anyway, we weren't lying.
We are going hunting.
What if Dr.
Bellows finds out about the party? Will you stop worrying? There's not a chance in the world.
[.]
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
I don't think they're quite the right shape, but thank you.
I'll look around a bit.
Good morning.
May I help you, madam? Yes, please.
I would like to buy a mod outfit like the mannequin is wearing.
Certainly, madam.
Here we are.
Oh, well, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but may I have the dress without the patches? The dress doesn't come without the patches.
Oh, I think it does now.
Madam, I dressed that mannequin my Well, I don't understand.
It's a Phyllis DeBeck and she always puts patches on her designs.
I'm sorry, I'm positive I haven't another one like it.
Oh, look.
I think I found it.
You can pay the cashier.
Thank you.
Oh, can you tell me, please.
Where can I buy a mod jacket for my master? Uh, for a man.
In the men's section, over there.
Thank you.
Nope.
It's not far-out enough for Herman.
Sorry.
It's the furthest-out tie we carry.
Sir Wow, that's kicky! You're guy must be a real ding-dong.
"Ding-dong"? A bell-ringer.
You know, with it, going! Oh, "going.
" Oh, yes.
Major Nelson and I are going to Major Healey's house tonight for a party.
[.]
Jeannie.
Jeannie, are you ready? JEANNIE: Almost, master.
We don't want to be late.
There.
Here I am.
Hey, hey, that's Do you like it? Oh, it's adorable.
[LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Oh, master.
What? You cannot go in this.
Oh, well, Jeannie.
It's a tuxedo, I-I think I can get away with it.
I have a surprise for you.
Yeah, well, this is all I have, see.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh.
How 'bout that? I can't wear that.
I-I don't have anything to go with it.
Oh, yes, master.
Oh.
Jeannie, I can't wear this.
Oh, yes, master.
You look adorable in it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Look at that.
It fits you beautifully.
Well, it's not It's not really bad, is it? I like the color too.
Yes, how 'bout the bell-bottoms? Beautiful, beautiful.
Oops.
Oops.
Shall we go? [CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
[MOD MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE HOUSE.]
You know, you haven't changed a bit, old buddy.
Well, you haven't changed either, Porky.
Your hair is a little thinner.
Well, you're a little heavy around here.
Still keeping the same company.
Oh, hey, this way.
Oh, he used to be a killer in grammar school.
Hi, Mary.
Hey, Harry.
Oh, look at this.
PORKY: business.
Wha? Business? Oh, I would like to be a partner in your business.
Come on over here.
Do you still play the bass? Oh, I've fooled around a little bit.
Hey, cut the music! Oh, come on.
No, come on, now.
I want you to hear my main man here.
Oh, no.
Go get him, Roge! [APPLAUSE.]
Come on.
All right.
All right.
Paul, let's show 'em, shall we? Okay, ready, Paul? Sure.
Are you sure you're ready? Well, I'm not ready, Paul.
Paul's ready.
It's all good so far.
[BAND JOINS IN.]
[CHEERING.]
MAN: Aw, yeah, do it.
This is so exciting.
It is the best mod party I have ever been to.
Well, you haven't been there yet.
[MUSIC BLARING.]
ROGER: Hey, Tony.
Hiya, Jeannie.
Oh, you look great.
Oh, you look just great.
Meet Paul, my old friend Porky, and this is Maureen, and this is Susie.
Oh, you look great.
Why is he not dancing with a girl? Funny chick.
Where did you find her? Well, actually in a bottle on the beach.
In a bot Ha-ha-ha.
She's a little She's She's nuts.
Hey, this a lot better than Dr.
Bellows' dull old party, isn't it? How long are you gonna be able to keep that up? Oh, it's hard to stop, once you get the music in your soul.
You just gotta keep going.
Roge, you're not playing anymore.
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm not playing.
Oh, did you bring the ice, Jeannie? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot all about it.
Yes.
No, I Not here.
Hey, kids, dig the crazy new dance.
MAN: Yeah! Yeah.
Yeah, dig it.
Hey, we're out of ice.
Why don't you look in the refrigerator.
Right you are.
Who turned on this refrigerator? I'm doing this under protest, Amanda.
You're asking me to distrust one of the men in my command.
Two of the men in your command.
Oh, this is a waste of time.
At this very moment [MUSIC PLAYING.]
Major Nelson and Major Healey are hunting.
Hunting what? They wouldn't dare.
Open that door.
Alfred, we have work to do.
Well, where are they? Oh, this reminds me of a party Nero gave once.
Except that everyone wore togas.
I certainly hope so for their sake.
Oh, wait a minute, Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy.
I'm going to drink a toast.
Uh.
A toast to Dr.
Bellows.
A toast to Dr.
Bellows.
Dr.
Bellows is here.
He's here.
Dr.
Bellows can't be here.
I didn't invite him.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Oh, we should've gotten the crutches.
Jeannie, do something.
Go on, do something! I will blink him to the top of a pyramid.
ROGER: No, no, no.
Uh, uh, dress us in a hunting outfit.
Oh, yeah, hunting, hunting.
We can go hunting.
Yes, master.
Thanks, Jeannie.
Hey, these clothes really are mod.
Nice, Jeannie.
Jeannie, would you mind? Something more modern than this.
I like 'em.
Quickly.
Yes, master.
Wait a minute Hey, these are kind of cute.
Jeannie, this is not what I had in mind.
Couldn't you get us a? Show me that dance again.
Oh.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, Porky.
What happened to Porky? Jeannie, get him back.
Get him back.
It was an accident.
Oh, there he is.
Wow, what a groovy dance.
Come on, baby.
Hey, Porky.
Wait a minute.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Dr.
Bellows.
I'm so glad you could You could drop by.
We just didn't happen to drop by, major.
This is an official call.
Oh.
Amanda, if you don't mind.
All right, darling.
Tell them why we're here.
Major Nelson, you missed the meeting at my house tonight, because you said that you and Major Healey were going hunting.
Yes, well, we were just leaving, sir.
What about your party, major? What about our party, major? Huh? Party? Oh, this is not, uh, Roger's party.
He had some friends drop in from out of town and since we were going hunting, he very generously turned his apartment over to them for their party.
Very generously.
Then why are you here? Uh, why are we here now? Our car broke down.
Both of our cars.
You mean to tell me that you're actually going hunting dressed like that? Carrying bows and arrows? Uh, yes, it's the, uh The Ancient Hunter's Bow and Arrow Club.
The Ancient Hunter's Bow and Arrow Club? ROGER: Yes, it is an ancient club.
We can only hunt with bows and arrows.
I told you there'd be a logical explanation for this.
I haven't heard it yet.
Tell me, where did you plan to go hunting? Uh, well, just a A swamp.
A swamp.
Twenty miles from here.
Twenty miles.
Too bad about our cars breaking down.
We can't go now.
Oh, yes, you can.
I'm gonna drive you there.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes, you come right with me.
No, no, no, no.
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Well, here we are.
Yeah, here we are.
Yeah, here we are.
Mm.
You really shouldn't have gone to all that trouble, sir.
It's no trouble.
After all, I'm the one who prescribed this.
Yeah, well, we'll never forget that, doc.
Well, I'd better get back.
I don't like to leave Amanda alone at the party.
By the time I return, she'll have everyone psychoanalyzed.
[LAUGHTER.]
Well, good hunting, gentlemen.
[MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
[THUNDER BOOMS.]
It's raining.
Very good observation, Roger.
You know what you're problem is? You're basically insecure.
I mean, I can tell by the funny hairdo and the strange clothes you have on.
Oh, I bet you had a very unhappy childhood.
You know, you really should have a talk with my husband.
You mean the shrink in the uniform? The what in the what? I mean, the head-scrambler, the wig-picker.
Are you talking about my husband? You know your problem, lady? What? You ain't loose.
Oh.
Gotta relax.
Oh, is that it? Yeah.
Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
Roger! Roger! In here.
Get out of there and give me a hand here.
Are you kidding? It's the only dry place in here.
Help me set it up, will you? [.]
Pull it around.
Use this rope.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Throw it over there.
Throw it on top of that limb.
You catch it.
I'll tie the top of this to it.
And you can pull it up.
I'll go to catch it.
Okay! Throw it over here.
Come on.
I'm ready.
Throw it.
Okay! Okay, I got it.
I got it.
Okay? [MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
Okay, Roge, let it go.
Okay.
Wait, wait.
Can you hear me? [YELLS.]
I'm pulling, I'm pulling.
I got it.
What? What are you? What are you doing? Roger! I'm trying to fix the tent, and you're fooling around.
Hold it, Roge! [MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, oh, young lady.
I-I don't Well, I used to do the Twist.
Oh, I Oh, oh, oh! Well, I [THUNDER CRASHING.]
When I think of all those beautiful women back in my apartment, then I think of Dr.
Bellows, I could kill No, I think I'll just cry instead.
They must be having a ball back there.
Why don't we go home.
Why don't we go home! What are you? Do you know what you're doing, anyway? Don't you remember our survival course? Yeah, what are you doing? Pre-Columbian Indians used to start fires like this.
[MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
Take a bite.
Take a bite? Are you kidding? Oh, are you thinking what I'm thinking? [.]
Come on.
Let me see, you were saying Darling, come on, dance.
Oh, you don't know what you're missing.
It's such fun.
Amanda, I'm in the middle of a very interesting psychoanalysis.
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
Have fun.
Now, dear, tell me, how long have you had this compulsion to be a football player? Hi, everybody.
We're back! We're ba! Oh, hi, Dr.
Bellows.
What are you doing here? I had a feeling you might return.
I told you they weren't interested in hunting.
Oh, we were.
We were.
Well, then, why did you come back? Well, we got our quota.
It was nice of you to drive us out there.
Really, nice of you, in the rain with all that, but There we are.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
ROGER: See, doc? Look what we brought back.
[.]
Good morning.
Good morning, sir.
[WHISTLING.]
[ENGINE STARTS.]
He is here.
What do you think you're doing? Master.
Major Healey is calling you.
It is urgent.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER PHONE.]
Hello.
Hello?! ROGER: Hi, Tony.
Hey, do you have your radio on? No, no, you have yours on.
What's the matter? Jeannie said it was urgent.
Ah, are you kidding? Urgent's not the word for it.
Now, listen, don't make any plans for tonight.
The greatest party-thrower in Cocoa Beach is throwing a wild mod party.
Yeah.
Wh-who is that? Me.
Huh? Well, what do you know about giving a mod party? What is there to know? A bunch of friends of mine came down to Florida to see me.
They're bringing some girls over to my place.
I thought, you know, might make it a real party.
Oh, great.
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
[OVER SPEAKER.]
No brass, no psychiatric observers and definitely no uniforms.
Strictly mod all the way.
Carniby Street, right? Yeah, well, it sounds great.
Uh, bring Jeannie and some ice.
Oh, thank you, Major Healey.
Oh, this is a pleasure, Jeannie.
Okay, Tony? Yeah, uh Yeah, okay.
All right, I'll see you.
Oh, master.
A party.
A party! This thing's not attached to anything.
Is it not wonderful? There's no cord.
Oh, I'm so excited.
I love parties.
Oh! All right, we have to get down to business.
[.]
[.]
And I will make my hair brunette Yeah, I-I'd rather you didn't blink up anything, Jeannie.
Here, I want you to take one of these credit cards and go down to Cocoa Oh, they are so beautiful.
[GASPS.]
I think I like the red one the best.
Well, believe me, it's not the color that counts.
Now, you take that down shopping in Cocoa Beach, and get yourself something mod to wear tonight.
But why, master? All I have to do is Yes, yes, I-I know that, but I'd rather you wouldn't.
Now, you see, the important thing at Roger's party tonight is the clothes that people will be wearing.
It has to be just right.
You'll do that for me, won't you? If you say so, master.
Okay.
[GIGGLES.]
Shopping for mod will be such fun.
Yeah.
What is "mod"? Well, I really don't have time to go into it.
The salesgirl will help you.
Oh, just think.
I will be the only genie at the party dressed in mod.
Yeah.
[.]
Just received these mental stress analysis reports.
I want you to run them through the computer.
Thanks.
Hey, Roge.
Oh, yeah.
Something wrong with your ankle? No, but there's something wrong with my neck.
I'm getting ready for the frug dance tonight.
A little practice Oh, am I excited.
All those great girls tonight, huh.
I'm kind of excited too.
This will be the first mod party I've ever been to.
It will be an experience.
Oh, listen, that's putting it mildly.
Hey, you're gonna love the guys.
They're a great bunch, really.
Are they college buddies? No, no.
Uh, from high school? No, no, grammar school.
Of course, they're a little older now.
Yeah, well, I hope so.
Yeah, listen, this party is kind of a class reunion.
Boy, it's going to be great, seeing old Porky Hansen again.
He used to be the classroom cutup.
Ah, I'll never forget the time he poured a bucket of tadpoles over our biology teacher's head.
Ha-ha-ha-ha.
Wh-what's he doing now? Well, he's the head of his own model agency.
Yeah.
They're gonna paint my office.
Help me move the furniture around.
Yeah.
Good old Porky.
Even in grammar school, he got all the beautiful girls.
Two girls fought a duel over him with mud pies.
Give me a hand with this, will you? The principal's daughter wanted to elope with him when they were 7 years old.
But now, to think he has his own model agency.
All those beautiful girls.
Boy, I can't wait to see what my date is gonna look like.
[KNOCKING.]
Come in.
Tony.
Hey, Roger, how are you? Carter, how are you? Good to see you.
What brings you to town? Uh, let's see, the last time I saw you was last year at the meeting of the inter-branch relations Well, that's it.
It's that time of year again.
We're having our annual little get-together tonight.
Well, we can't make it.
Not tonight, no.
Didn't you get the notice? Did we get the notice he sent out? Last month, I got the notice.
I put it in my drawer and never looked at it again.
It's in here someplace.
Can't you make it another night? Tomorrow night maybe.
We can't make it.
This is Dr.
Bellows' baby.
If you can't make it, check with him.
You know how he looks forward to it.
I know.
I know how he is.
Give you a little advice.
If you're not there tonight, you'd better have an excuse.
A good excuse.
Yeah, we will.
I mean, we'll work out something.
See you later.
The nerve of Dr.
Bellows having his meeting on the night of my mod party! Roger, he's had this meeting set up for the last year.
That's what I mean.
He had a whole year to pick another date.
What are we gonna do? We're going to the meeting.
Oh, no, we're not.
Not me, I'm not gonna let my buddies down.
No, sirree.
You remember last year's meeting? Mrs.
Bellows and her soggy, soggy hors d'oeuvres? Boy, what are we gonna do? The one I feel sorry for is Jeannie.
She really had her heart set on going to this party tonight.
How are we gonna get out of this thing? How? Well, you know Dr.
Bellows.
Even if the meeting is unimportant, all the brass will be there.
If we don't show up, we'll never hear the end of it.
Mrs.
Bellows will see to it.
We could call in sick.
Yeah, we'd have to show up on crutches.
That's the only way he'd ever believe us.
I know the nurse at the infirmary.
She could lend us a couple Hey, wait a minute.
Remember Dr.
Bellows said the last time we had our physical, that we needed some outdoor activities? Yeah.
Well, we'll just tell him that We're going hunting, sir.
Hunting? You know, camping out, the great outdoors.
Surrounded by fresh air, just as you prescribed.
Hm, I see.
Uh, how long have you been planning this trip? Four weeks.
Four months.
Four weeks.
Four months.
I-I really can't understand how we forgot about your little get-together tonight, sir.
Well, I understand it.
You do? Of course.
It was because of your unconscious need to break out into the open.
It drove tonight's gathering completely from your mind.
Oh, yeah, completely.
Yeah.
It sounds so simple when you explain it, sir.
Well, after all, it is my profession.
The dynamics of human relations.
Well, you're the doctor.
Well, all right, gentlemen, I, um I'll make your excuses at the meeting tonight.
Oh, Mrs.
Bellows is gonna be terribly disappointed, but, uh, your mental and physical well-being is far more important than attending our little gathering.
Well, I knew you would understand, sir.
Thanks, sir.
Tell Mrs.
Bellows, we're going to miss her hors d'oeuvres.
You were brilliant.
I mean brilliant.
Oh, I feel a heel, lying to Dr.
Bellows.
Are you kidding? With one stoke, you got us out of a dull evening, into Into the mod party of the year.
Anyway, we weren't lying.
We are going hunting.
What if Dr.
Bellows finds out about the party? Will you stop worrying? There's not a chance in the world.
[.]
[MAGIC BOINGS.]
I don't think they're quite the right shape, but thank you.
I'll look around a bit.
Good morning.
May I help you, madam? Yes, please.
I would like to buy a mod outfit like the mannequin is wearing.
Certainly, madam.
Here we are.
Oh, well, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but may I have the dress without the patches? The dress doesn't come without the patches.
Oh, I think it does now.
Madam, I dressed that mannequin my Well, I don't understand.
It's a Phyllis DeBeck and she always puts patches on her designs.
I'm sorry, I'm positive I haven't another one like it.
Oh, look.
I think I found it.
You can pay the cashier.
Thank you.
Oh, can you tell me, please.
Where can I buy a mod jacket for my master? Uh, for a man.
In the men's section, over there.
Thank you.
Nope.
It's not far-out enough for Herman.
Sorry.
It's the furthest-out tie we carry.
Sir Wow, that's kicky! You're guy must be a real ding-dong.
"Ding-dong"? A bell-ringer.
You know, with it, going! Oh, "going.
" Oh, yes.
Major Nelson and I are going to Major Healey's house tonight for a party.
[.]
Jeannie.
Jeannie, are you ready? JEANNIE: Almost, master.
We don't want to be late.
There.
Here I am.
Hey, hey, that's Do you like it? Oh, it's adorable.
[LAUGHING.]
Thank you.
Oh, master.
What? You cannot go in this.
Oh, well, Jeannie.
It's a tuxedo, I-I think I can get away with it.
I have a surprise for you.
Yeah, well, this is all I have, see.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh.
How 'bout that? I can't wear that.
I-I don't have anything to go with it.
Oh, yes, master.
Oh.
Jeannie, I can't wear this.
Oh, yes, master.
You look adorable in it.
[CHUCKLES.]
Look at that.
It fits you beautifully.
Well, it's not It's not really bad, is it? I like the color too.
Yes, how 'bout the bell-bottoms? Beautiful, beautiful.
Oops.
Oops.
Shall we go? [CHUCKLES.]
Okay.
[MOD MUSIC PLAYING INSIDE HOUSE.]
You know, you haven't changed a bit, old buddy.
Well, you haven't changed either, Porky.
Your hair is a little thinner.
Well, you're a little heavy around here.
Still keeping the same company.
Oh, hey, this way.
Oh, he used to be a killer in grammar school.
Hi, Mary.
Hey, Harry.
Oh, look at this.
PORKY: business.
Wha? Business? Oh, I would like to be a partner in your business.
Come on over here.
Do you still play the bass? Oh, I've fooled around a little bit.
Hey, cut the music! Oh, come on.
No, come on, now.
I want you to hear my main man here.
Oh, no.
Go get him, Roge! [APPLAUSE.]
Come on.
All right.
All right.
Paul, let's show 'em, shall we? Okay, ready, Paul? Sure.
Are you sure you're ready? Well, I'm not ready, Paul.
Paul's ready.
It's all good so far.
[BAND JOINS IN.]
[CHEERING.]
MAN: Aw, yeah, do it.
This is so exciting.
It is the best mod party I have ever been to.
Well, you haven't been there yet.
[MUSIC BLARING.]
ROGER: Hey, Tony.
Hiya, Jeannie.
Oh, you look great.
Oh, you look just great.
Meet Paul, my old friend Porky, and this is Maureen, and this is Susie.
Oh, you look great.
Why is he not dancing with a girl? Funny chick.
Where did you find her? Well, actually in a bottle on the beach.
In a bot Ha-ha-ha.
She's a little She's She's nuts.
Hey, this a lot better than Dr.
Bellows' dull old party, isn't it? How long are you gonna be able to keep that up? Oh, it's hard to stop, once you get the music in your soul.
You just gotta keep going.
Roge, you're not playing anymore.
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm not playing.
Oh, did you bring the ice, Jeannie? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot all about it.
Yes.
No, I Not here.
Hey, kids, dig the crazy new dance.
MAN: Yeah! Yeah.
Yeah, dig it.
Hey, we're out of ice.
Why don't you look in the refrigerator.
Right you are.
Who turned on this refrigerator? I'm doing this under protest, Amanda.
You're asking me to distrust one of the men in my command.
Two of the men in your command.
Oh, this is a waste of time.
At this very moment [MUSIC PLAYING.]
Major Nelson and Major Healey are hunting.
Hunting what? They wouldn't dare.
Open that door.
Alfred, we have work to do.
Well, where are they? Oh, this reminds me of a party Nero gave once.
Except that everyone wore togas.
I certainly hope so for their sake.
Oh, wait a minute, Judy, Judy, Judy, Judy.
I'm going to drink a toast.
Uh.
A toast to Dr.
Bellows.
A toast to Dr.
Bellows.
Dr.
Bellows is here.
He's here.
Dr.
Bellows can't be here.
I didn't invite him.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Oh, we should've gotten the crutches.
Jeannie, do something.
Go on, do something! I will blink him to the top of a pyramid.
ROGER: No, no, no.
Uh, uh, dress us in a hunting outfit.
Oh, yeah, hunting, hunting.
We can go hunting.
Yes, master.
Thanks, Jeannie.
Hey, these clothes really are mod.
Nice, Jeannie.
Jeannie, would you mind? Something more modern than this.
I like 'em.
Quickly.
Yes, master.
Wait a minute Hey, these are kind of cute.
Jeannie, this is not what I had in mind.
Couldn't you get us a? Show me that dance again.
Oh.
Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, Porky.
What happened to Porky? Jeannie, get him back.
Get him back.
It was an accident.
Oh, there he is.
Wow, what a groovy dance.
Come on, baby.
Hey, Porky.
Wait a minute.
Oh, Dr.
Bellows.
Dr.
Bellows.
I'm so glad you could You could drop by.
We just didn't happen to drop by, major.
This is an official call.
Oh.
Amanda, if you don't mind.
All right, darling.
Tell them why we're here.
Major Nelson, you missed the meeting at my house tonight, because you said that you and Major Healey were going hunting.
Yes, well, we were just leaving, sir.
What about your party, major? What about our party, major? Huh? Party? Oh, this is not, uh, Roger's party.
He had some friends drop in from out of town and since we were going hunting, he very generously turned his apartment over to them for their party.
Very generously.
Then why are you here? Uh, why are we here now? Our car broke down.
Both of our cars.
You mean to tell me that you're actually going hunting dressed like that? Carrying bows and arrows? Uh, yes, it's the, uh The Ancient Hunter's Bow and Arrow Club.
The Ancient Hunter's Bow and Arrow Club? ROGER: Yes, it is an ancient club.
We can only hunt with bows and arrows.
I told you there'd be a logical explanation for this.
I haven't heard it yet.
Tell me, where did you plan to go hunting? Uh, well, just a A swamp.
A swamp.
Twenty miles from here.
Twenty miles.
Too bad about our cars breaking down.
We can't go now.
Oh, yes, you can.
I'm gonna drive you there.
Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes, you come right with me.
No, no, no, no.
[ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Well, here we are.
Yeah, here we are.
Yeah, here we are.
Mm.
You really shouldn't have gone to all that trouble, sir.
It's no trouble.
After all, I'm the one who prescribed this.
Yeah, well, we'll never forget that, doc.
Well, I'd better get back.
I don't like to leave Amanda alone at the party.
By the time I return, she'll have everyone psychoanalyzed.
[LAUGHTER.]
Well, good hunting, gentlemen.
[MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
[THUNDER BOOMS.]
It's raining.
Very good observation, Roger.
You know what you're problem is? You're basically insecure.
I mean, I can tell by the funny hairdo and the strange clothes you have on.
Oh, I bet you had a very unhappy childhood.
You know, you really should have a talk with my husband.
You mean the shrink in the uniform? The what in the what? I mean, the head-scrambler, the wig-picker.
Are you talking about my husband? You know your problem, lady? What? You ain't loose.
Oh.
Gotta relax.
Oh, is that it? Yeah.
Oh.
[LAUGHS.]
Roger! Roger! In here.
Get out of there and give me a hand here.
Are you kidding? It's the only dry place in here.
Help me set it up, will you? [.]
Pull it around.
Use this rope.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Throw it over there.
Throw it on top of that limb.
You catch it.
I'll tie the top of this to it.
And you can pull it up.
I'll go to catch it.
Okay! Throw it over here.
Come on.
I'm ready.
Throw it.
Okay! Okay, I got it.
I got it.
Okay? [MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
Okay, Roge, let it go.
Okay.
Wait, wait.
Can you hear me? [YELLS.]
I'm pulling, I'm pulling.
I got it.
What? What are you? What are you doing? Roger! I'm trying to fix the tent, and you're fooling around.
Hold it, Roge! [MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, oh, young lady.
I-I don't Well, I used to do the Twist.
Oh, I Oh, oh, oh! Well, I [THUNDER CRASHING.]
When I think of all those beautiful women back in my apartment, then I think of Dr.
Bellows, I could kill No, I think I'll just cry instead.
They must be having a ball back there.
Why don't we go home.
Why don't we go home! What are you? Do you know what you're doing, anyway? Don't you remember our survival course? Yeah, what are you doing? Pre-Columbian Indians used to start fires like this.
[MOD MUSIC PLAYING.]
Take a bite.
Take a bite? Are you kidding? Oh, are you thinking what I'm thinking? [.]
Come on.
Let me see, you were saying Darling, come on, dance.
Oh, you don't know what you're missing.
It's such fun.
Amanda, I'm in the middle of a very interesting psychoanalysis.
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
Have fun.
Now, dear, tell me, how long have you had this compulsion to be a football player? Hi, everybody.
We're back! We're ba! Oh, hi, Dr.
Bellows.
What are you doing here? I had a feeling you might return.
I told you they weren't interested in hunting.
Oh, we were.
We were.
Well, then, why did you come back? Well, we got our quota.
It was nice of you to drive us out there.
Really, nice of you, in the rain with all that, but There we are.
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
ROGER: See, doc? Look what we brought back.
[.]